#TNFIF Timestamps

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

TNFIF Timestamps

I’ve decided to write some timestamps for There’s No Fair In Farewell. Once I’ve written a few more I might post them on AO3, but for now, have a timestamp of what happens after the fic ends. Obviously, spoilers for the entire fic!

Just like they have lived their lives together, so do they pass on. It’s been a long life, a happy life, filled with love and, eventually, a new family. Their daughter is named Johanna Anne, in honor of both their mums. Their adopted son, of course, is named after Niall (and Nick, and Louis really only grumbled about it for old time’s sake), and Louis often calls him their lucky charm when he’s young. Their kids grow up to have kids, and by the time they’re both in their eighties they’ve left a lasting imprint on earth. Their lives, having been cut short decades ago, have finally been allowed to play out the way they were always meant to.

Now, eighty two (like he would have been when he’d gone back to earth in 2017, had he not originally died), Louis is old and content, ready for the next adventure. He knows the end is coming soon, and he’s made his peace with it, has had ample time to say goodbye to his children, promising his grandchildren that he’ll always watch over them. They’ve grown up with the fairytales he’s told them, of Fates and Cupids and while Louis isn’t sure it’ll comfort them in their time of grief he knows that they’ll never truly be alone.

As sad as he is at the prospect of leaving his family, he knows what he has to look forward to. And, as he’d told Harry once (or a million times), there’s nowhere he can go that Louis won’t follow. He knows the same goes for Harry. Even if there might be a bit of time between when the two of them pass, he knows they’ll have eternity together to look forward to.

Eternity. In Heaven. With the rest of their family.

It’s been so long since Louis has seen them, and even the memories have faded somewhat with old age. There’s siblings he’s only remembered as little children, and then siblings he hasn’t even met, but that he knows he’ll see once he passes over. There’s his mum, his stepdad, and the man she married after, the one that she grew old with. Their extended family, because although Louis had never contacted his siblings he did find out that most of them had gotten married and had children of their own.

Just as importantly, there’s Niall.

When he finally passes, it’s not much of a shock to find Harry right next to him, the moment he appears at the entrance to Heaven. Old, gnarled hands tangle the way that they used to so often, wrinkled thumbs brushing over rough knuckles.

“Alright?” Louis asks softly. Harry, lovely eighty-year-old green-eyed Harry, whose hair is now thin as whisps and grey, but who still looks like the most beautiful man Louis has ever laid eyes on, nods. Smiles, with thin cracked lips, that Louis still can’t resist pressing a kiss to.

He had thought of Heaven often, had wondered what it would look like, and oddly enough, it’s both exactly how he expected it and nothing like it. There are no pearly gates, no clouds and, most importantly, there is no Saint Peter or God to judge whether or not they’ll be allowed entrance. There’s just a door, translucent and shimmery, one that opens just as soon as they’ve turned towards it.

Louis’ throat closes up the moment he spots them. Names come easily, the recognition there even though his family looks nothing like the one in his memories. They’re all old, his age or similar, but he only has to look at them to know who they are. There’s Lottie, silver haired and short, and Phoebe and Daisy, a little taller and unmistakably twins. There’s what must be Ernie and Doris, standing a few steps behind two women who look so similar that it takes Louis a moment to realize who is who. Having both passed at old age, Fizzy and his mum could pass as twins, but that’s before she takes a step forward, her eyes shimmery with tears.

“Lou.”

She barely has time to open her arms before Louis has caught up to her, wrapping his own arms around her. And although technically he is older than her now, in her arms he feels just as much a little boy as he did when he was alive. He feels safe, sheltered, in a way he’s only ever felt with Harry.

“Mum.” It’s soft, pained, but the arms around him are holding him together. He can faintly hear Harry, notices his trembling voice as he greets his own family. But this moment, this is just for him.

There’s a soft kiss dropped to his head, worn hands that cup his cheeks as she pulls away just enough to look at him. “My boy. I’ve thought about you so often. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long.”

His mother shakes her head, brings him in closer, soothingly rocking him from side to side. “Nevermind that now, love. You’re here. You’re home.”

**

They stand there for what feels like eternity, hugging each other, until Louis can no longer tell whose arms he is in. He’s hugged Lottie and Fizzy, the first of which has punched him in the arm, telling him about time, before dissolving into tears and shaking apart in his arms. There’s been hugs from both sets of twins, and kind eyes that Louis remembers belonging to his stepfather before he is wrapped up in a hug by him too.

Time no longer has any meaning, much like it did when he was a Cupid, but all that comes to a halt at a soft cough, followed by a voice Louis hasn’t heard in sixty odd years.

“Welcome back, Lou.”

There’s tears in his eyes before he’s even turned around. And there he is. Not a day older than when Louis last saw him. Looking young, and ageless at the same time. Same cheeky grin, though there’s tears in his eyes too, Louis can tell.

“Niall.”

Arms go around each other, one pair old and weathered, the other pair young and strong, so much so that Louis nearly wheezes with the force of the hug. But he sinks into it, into the arms of his best friend, of one of the best huggers in the world. “Niall.” He repeats it, having no other word to express his emotion other than just that. Just Niall.

He’d be embarrassed about crying but Niall’s right there with him, shaking quietly in his arms. Louis can faintly hear his family shuffle back, giving them some space, and he is grateful for it. The only person that he wouldn’t mind seeing this moment is Harry, because Harry’s the only one that would understand. The only person that has gone through the things that Louis has.

“You named your kid after me.” Niall hiccups into his hair, and Louis feels fresh tears welling up in his eyes. “Can’t believe it. Never knew you were such a sap.”

Louis snorts. “Lies. You knew. You fucking knew.”

(The fact that he can hear his mum somewhere behind him, faintly murmuring language absolutely does not make him cry)

“Of course I did. Watched you every chance I could, didn’t I? Promised I’d always keep an eye on you.” He had promised that, once upon a time, but it’s still hard to believe that it’s been sixty years and Niall has never broken that promise. Time moves differently, up here, and a few decades is nothing, but at the same time, it says so much about their friendship, about the loss Niall must have felt.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispers softly. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

“I’m not. And you’re not. I’ve seen you. You were happy.”

Louis smiles at that. “I was. I am. Life’s been - well, you’ve seen it.”

Niall nods. “It’s been everything I wished for, for you. Me and Nick both. He made me promise not to tell you, but he bawled like a baby the day you brought your son home from the hospital.”

Little Niall Nicholas. His baby boy, who was now well in his fifties. With children of his own, Louis’ grandkids who he had doted on, watched Harry be enamoured with, the way he’d so often seen him in Heaven. He finally had gotten to count all their fingers and toes in person. Louis smiles. “I’m taking you did the same thing.”

Niall just shrugs, completely unembarrassed. “I mean. It’s your kid. Of course I cried. And that was even before I heard the name. Good name though. Good lad.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I was honored to find him on my board, once he grew up. They’re soulmates, did you know? Him and his wife? They fought over who got to set them up. Perrie and Cara eventually compromised, worked together. We’ve all been looking out for you. Rooting for you.”

Louis swallows. He’d wondered, as his children grew up, if anything had changed in Heaven. If anyone else had gone down, if they’d even known what had happened to him and Harry or if it had been made out to be a cautionary tale. Hearing that they still remembered them, still took an interest in their lives - it felt nice, to have been watched over. To know that even if he hadn’t seen them for so long, he was still never alone.

“I missed you guys.” He says softly. “I missed - I was happy, you know I was. But I still missed you. Just, hanging out, having a beer. Playing games.”

“Playing football.” Niall chuckles. “You know, you still owe me a rematch.”

Louis arches a white eyebrow, looking at him. Looking at himself, then up at Niall’s face, that is unreadable for a moment, before it cracks, a cheeky grin rapidly appearing. “Can’t blame me for trying,” Niall tells him, giving Louis’ shoulder a light squeeze. “I figured, maybe this way, I can finally win for a change.”

[ao3feed-larry]

TNFIF Timestamps

by we_are_the_same

Just some random timestamps to go along with my story There's no fair in farewell

Words: 1671, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of There's no fair in farewell

Fandoms: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Nick Grimshaw

Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne

Additional Tags: TNFIF timestamps

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/2CRX6rw

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

My Fics in review

I was tagged by the lovely @jacaranda-bloom and the absolute darling @lightwoodsmagic, thank you both so much!

FANDOMS: One Direction, Zayn Malik, technically Shawn Mendes once because he was Niall’s soulmate in one fic

TROPES: Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy, Strangers to Lovers, Angst with a happy ending, those are probably my main ones

NUMBER OF FICS: 32 (11 Larry, 21 Ziam)

FIC I SPENT THE MOST TIME ON: there’s no fair in farewell, it took me well over a year to write 

FIC I SPENT THE LEAST TIME ON: we’re not who we used to be, I was sad one afternoon and decided to write angsty fic

LONGEST FIC: there’s no fair in farewell, at 218.664 words

SHORTEST FIC: then he just leaned forward and kissed me at 1129 words

MOST HITS/KUDOS/COMMENT THREADS/BOOKMARKS:  (I decided to split these up in Ziam and Larry because all my most hits etc are Ziam fics from way back when)

ZIAM: Hits: a game that I’m destined to lose  44072 hits Kudos: a game that I’m destined to lose 1323 kudos Comment thread: midnight doesn’t last forever 238 comment threads Bookmarks: midnight doesn’t last forever 398 bookmarks

LARRY Hits: there’s no fair in farewell  12184 hits Kudos: you’ve set my soul to dreaming 607 kudos Comment thread: there’s no fair in farewell 82 comment threads Bookmarks: there’s no fair in farewell 299 bookmarks

TOTAL WORD COUNT:  526.369

FAVORITE FIC I WROTE: Honestly, it will always be  there’s no fair in farewell because I worked on that fic for a year and it gave me the confidence to write all the fics I’ve written since. A close second is some things fade (some never do) because I wrote that in little more than a month and it proved to me that I can write fast if I need to.

FIC YOU WANT TO REWRITE/EXPAND ON: I have some timestamps that I might do for TNFIF someday.

SHARE A BIT OF A WIP OR A STORY IDEA YOU’RE PLANNING ON:  So I’ll do a Ziam snippet and a Larry one!

ZIAM:

this is from my ace Liam WIP which is currently at just over 2500 words and that I’ll revisit when I’m not writing for fests:

Liam is practically vibrating next to him, and Zayn turns his attention to Liam with a smile, his hand briefly coming to rest on a strong thigh, though he removes it before he gets the impulse to slide it upwards. Liam is - he’s pretty much spot on Zayn’s type. Strong, a body that Zayn would never achieve even if he spent the majority of his life in the gym (and that’s okay, he’d much rather be held by a body like that than possess it), but so incredibly sweet. Caring, and funny, and a little bit of a dork - really, Zayn’s never stood a chance. 

But while Liam cared about him, it had never been like that, and Zayn had been happy to be his best friend, because it meant he still got these little parts of him that no one else did. He got Liam’s joy when he scored the ad campaign, his nerves when he was about to go in for his first shoot, the euphoria after when they’d been pleased with how it had gone. He treasures them, these little secret bits of Liam, thinks about them sometimes when all he wants to do is be closer. “You nervous, babe?” He asks him now, and Liam’s eyes aren’t fully panicked but they’re also not that usual mellow warm brown. He bounces his knee and Zayn rests his hand on it again, feels it tremble under his touch before it calms down. He leaves it there this time.

LARRY:

this is from the “Louis sees when people are about to die” AU which is also around 2500 words and which I’ll also probably write eventually.

Sometimes people fade over time, so slowly that it’s hard to see at first. Like, maybe it’s just the sun, that’s hitting them in a particular way. Or maybe he needs glasses, or to get away from his computer for a while. Sometimes it’s been days, or weeks, before the truth hits him. Days or weeks in which an illness has crept up, altering tissue, sometimes irreversibly.

And sometimes it’s like a head on collision. It’s waking up and everything’s fine and then going outside and everything’s not. 

It’s like that with Jax. One moment everything’s fine, they’re on their way back to Louis’ dorm room after seeing a movie, talking about their upcoming Christmas break and Louis’ birthday, and the next, Jax is barely visible. It goes so fast that Louis is breathless before he has even fully processed the image in front of him. 

I absolutely loved doing this! I’ll tag @hogwartzlou, @crinkle-eyed-boo @lululawrence @londonfoginacup @disgruntledkittenface @allwaswell16 and anyone else who wants to do this!

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

First Line Challenge

RULES: List the first lines of the last ten stories you published. Look to see if there are any patterns that you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any! Then tag some friends.

I was tagged by the ever amazing @londonfoginacup whom I adore and whose fics everyone should read!

1:  Just like they have lived their lives together, so do they pass on. (TNFIF timestamps)

2:  When the phone rings in the dark room, Harry thinks nothing of it. (We’re not who we used to be)

3:  Liam wonders when it changed. ((I pray to God I didn’t waste) all my good years)

4:  It’s not that Louis doesn’t like Christmas. (There’s really nothing better (than a beautiful boy in an ugly Christmas sweater))

5:  Sometimes, when he looks down, Louis envies them. (There’s no fair in farewell)

6:  I could really use a hug, Harry types, stares at the words, the cursor blinking. (All the ways to say “I love you”)

7:  Zayn’s always been a dog person. (and they call it puppy love)

8:  He first meets him at the airport. (let’s be alone together)

9:  It’s a dare, really. (guess I always push my luck when I’m with you)

10: It’s an accident. (then he just leaned forward and kissed me)

Patterns... well, for one, poor Niall needs to have a starter line because all the other boys do! I do like that I’ve been trying to write more from other perspectives, as I used to only do either Liam or Louis. The other thing I notice is that they’re all quite short, which very much fits my writing style. I do run on sentences, but I gotta start with something catchy :D Aside from that I don’t really notice anything, but feel free to let me know if you do!

As for tags, I am notoriously bad at this, but I am tagging @pocketsunshineharry and @somewhereisaplacethatziamknow and @rosegoldhlfics

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

writing goals 2019

I was tagged by @pocketsunshineharry and @rosegoldhlfics, thank you so much darlings! I was hoping to be tagged in this!

Any writing goals for 2019?? Like specific things you want to write, how much you want to write, skills you want to focus on, etc.?

So, 2018 was the year of Cupid Larry, with me finally posting the story I’d been working on since summer 2017, there’s no fair in farewell. I also participated in two challenges for the first time ever, and wrote a sad angsty story when I didn’t feel well.

Basically my goals for 2019 are to continue on doing what I did. I want to participate in more challenges (I have signed up for the @larryabroad challenge and am probably also going to sign up to the @hlsummerexchange2019) and I am also going to challenge myself by collaborating on a fic with @thedaggerrose (because our goal is to end @lt2019‘s life apparently). I’ve never collaborated with anyone before, but I decided that I would challenge myself in 2019 and try and write more stories and do new things out of my comfortzone. I don’t know if I’ll end up writing another massive story on the side since multitasking has never been my strong point, but I might give that a go too.

So in short, the following should be coming out in 2019 at the very least:

- larryabroad fic

- summerexchange fic

- collab (we have settled on an idea and I am so stoked!)

- steady love WIP (depending on if this is a 15k or 100k story lmao)

I might also do a few more timestamps for TNFIF.

I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself because while I do work better if I write regularly I also know that if I force myself to write I end up disliking it, when writing is something that’s making me happy and that I would love to keep on loving. So I guess another goal for 2019 is to not be frustrated with myself if I don’t meet my goals.

Sidenote, I am redoing my guestroom, it’s gonna have amazing spacey wallpaper behind three massive blackboards that I intend to use to write plots, mindmaps, dates for challenges on etc. I have a desk there that has an old computer on it that I’ll likely get rid of, and then I can put my laptop there and have an awesome little writing set-up. I am so stoked for it to be finished and I think it’ll really help with my writing too! Just as I know that my friends will, most notably @londonfoginacup and @lt2019 who are always cheerleading and are responsible for so much of my writing and muse! Love you!

I don’t know who has been tagged, but I am tagging @somewhereisaplacethatziamknow @thedaggerrose @londonfoginacup @yaz-the-spaz @sweetstrawberryheadache and anyone who is interested in doing this!

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

Rereading TNFIF and so far (I'm halfway through) I've got about 7 timestamps that I want to write 🙈👀

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

I posted my TNFIF timestamps on AO3, as per @secretlytommo‘s advice! 

I also wrote just under 1800 words for the @larryabroad fic, getting to almost 8k. I wanted to write some more on the summer exchange too but I’m too sore for now. Hopefully I can get some more done on Thursday though! I’m excited to be writing again, even though the abroad fic is giving me a massive case of wanderlust!