A TM FB ground asked ‘’What do you love about fen’’ I had a lot to say...
Alright, so I am procrastinating to do something else so let me write why I love fen.
Something Brittany said as she was saying goodbye to her character was how Fen was born to be a side character and became a hero. I remember starting to cry after hearing that because this is exactly why I adore her.
I had an abusive relationship where the guy didn't even realize how abusive he was and destroyed the little self-confidence I had build in myself after years of bullying and not being smart enough in math for my high school. And then I decided to stop dating and rebuild myself and it is by mistake that I fell in love with my husband (We both didn't want to date, the irony) and when he introduced me to The Magicians he told me I’d associate with Fen. Most likely because I’d love her kindness and princess-y vibe. What he didn't expect is that I loved her for so much more than that
Fen comes from a world that doesn't value women the same as men. In a world where her father refuses to show her how to make magical blades because she was a girl . And yet, she learns how to use them and how to sharpen them with whetstone, despite not what a woman should do. She learned her father’s craft enough that she was able to appreciate a good blade (The couple’s torture device) or even know the difference between a blade cut vs an animal one (S03E02)
Fen was raised with the only goal to be a wife; one day it might happen that a stranger comes at their door and she will have to marry him without even saying anything, so her family could rise in the rank of Fillorian royalty. And arrive, Eliot who married her, thinking he would die and not to have to handle her, so when he came back alive she had to manage to be newlywed to a self-destructive man.
Tick never valued her or the pesant, we see her face when he get means to the FU fighter, and I am sure it is not the only side remark Tick has done toward her; she was never one of the ‘’royalty’’.
One of their first conversation in the castle is how she wants to be obedient to him. which means she was told to be so, and probably that her job was also to produce an heir. Her job was to be the quiet wife of the High King and provide lineage. But that is not what happens. Despite Eliot saying he wanted her to be his equal, it took nearly 4 seasons for him to do so. He dismissed her, never told her when he left or what would happen and only truly cared when she was in danger or taken over by the fairy. Fen only knew what she had to do: be a wife and give a baby . But Eliot was not attracted to her and would never love her and Margo gave her baby away.
So this leads us to her breakdown. Margo and Eliot clearly didn’t know what to do with her because they let her be in a psychosis where she was carrying a log as a baby, but losing her baby to the fairies was Fen's last straw. I think she was starting to accept that Eliot would never love her and that she might be able to help Fillory by staying with Eliot (’’You think I stay because of how deeply attracted to me you are. I love Fillory. It is my home’’ - S02E06) and losing her baby, the one thing she knew she could provide, was just too much; everything she was told to be and do she could not.
This is why Margo giving her the crown as an Acting King in the end of S03 is HUGE. Not only she became the first crowned Fillorian (Tick never wore it) but it was also a sign for Margo to recognized that during season 3, she was learning how to heal and becoming her own person. Not Eliot's wife, but fen. There is this amazing moment where Fen says to Eliot that she can’t go to her old life and they are stuck together. This is both of them admiring their marriage will never work, but they promised to care for one another and they will. At least, they try. They do.
If Julia showed Fen that healing of trauma is complicated but does not mean going toward a darker you, Margo showed Fen how to be her own voice. Not to be Eliot’s wife or Margo’s confidente, but Fen. Margo even let her lead the quest and make her own mistake before saving her from fraud (S04E08) because Margo knows that she would stay naive if she is never given the chance to do something on her own. Even more, when Margo learns that Fen wants to overthrow her, she trusts and know her enough that this is not a back-stabbing move but something bigger, and she accepts her fate in order to save Eliot, but also making sure Fen will be safe (’’I curse you Fen! But be nice to her!’’ S04E09) Fen will try to lead like Margo leads, being daring and trying to use her power to help; this is how her and Josh discover The Secret Sea in the castle after all.
But then she gets abandoned in the past and learns that Margo had given up on saving her and even tried to kill her in the heat of a battle. While part of it could be forgiven (margo was wolfing hard let's be real) That is when Fen stop seeing Margo on a pedestal. (S05E03) She discovers that Margo, much like Eliot, has severe flaws. This doesn't mean that she will stop caring about her, but that she will be able to have her own voice when talking to her.
Season 5, now having a voice, she had to struggle just like Kady not to be the one in the background that nobody listens. If more than once she is ignored and that some of them are just cruel for no apparent reason when they need her she decide to say no. To call their bullshit and say that they would try harder to save Earth if it was happening on their planet. Eliot teaches her then what it means to have a voice and to be a hero; sometimes there is no perfect solution, just two choices and you take the less shitty. She learns there that having a voice is to listen to what other say and then put your own knowledge into the group instead of trying to do like Margo and stump on everyone with her idea. (S05E11) We see her during the heist episode, she use herself being FIllorian to insure her friend security (S05E12) and this confidence was totally new for Fen. I don't think she would have been able to put her life on the line without what Eliot had told her before).
Lastly, Fen wanted to be a mom. Losing her baby will be a trauma she will have to live with forever. But it is beautiful that, in a sense, she carried Fillory within her (i Mean literally) until it was ready to be hatched. (S05E12-13) FIllory 2.0 is her baby, she will be forever the mother of the land, forever linked with the history of the one place she loved and defended from the moment we met her.
I love fen for all those reasons. Because sometimes, rebuilding yourself after trauma is messy and full of mistakes. But when you are ready to listen to your friends, to forgive and to stand up for what you believe, you can become a version of yourself nobody ever believes you could ever be. I am pretty sure if she’d go back to her dad, he would not recognize his daughter. This proud and self assured woman who, despite her trauma, seek to find good and kindness in people, try to forgive those who hurt her and also, fucking put fillory in her vagina.
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Mattys - 2018
I try to do my own version of the Emmys every year, and these are the results for 2018. The eligibility requirement for shows is, as always, having to finish half of a season before May 31st. Winners are bolded.
Outstanding Drama Series
The Americans
Claws
The Expanse
The Good Fight
Halt and Catch Fire
Killing Eve
Queen Sugar
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Frank Grillo, “Kingdom”
Cilian Murphy, “Peaky Blinders”
Matthew Rhys, “The Americans”
Giovanni Ribisi, “Sneaky Pete”
J.K. Simmons, “Counterpart”
Dan Stevens, “Legion”
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Christine Baranski, “The Good Fight”
Jodie Comer, “Killing Eve”
Claire Foy, “The Crown”
Tatiana Maslany, “Orphan Black”
Elisabeth Moss, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Niecy Nash, “Claws”
Keri Russell, “The Americans”
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Noah Emmerich, “The Americans”
Tom Hardy, “Peaky Blinders”
Jason Mitchell, “The Chi”
Noah Schnapp, “Stranger Things”
Matt Smith, “The Crown”
Jonathan Tucker, “Kingdom”
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Lena Headey, “Game of Thrones”
Cush Jumbo, “The Good Fight”
Bianca Lawson, “Queen Sugar”
Thandie Newton, “Westworld”
Yvonne Strahovski, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Constance Zimmer, “UnREAL”
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series
David Haig, “Killing Eve”
Anthony Hopkins, “Westworld”
Thomas Jane, “The Expanse”
Gerald McRaney, “This Is Us”
David Tennant, “Marvel’s Jessica Jones”
Jonathan Tucker, “Westworld”
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Joy Brunson, “This Is Us”
Andrea Martin, “The Good Fight”
Jane Lynch, “The Good Fight”
Diana Rigg, “Game of Thrones”
Uma Thurman, “Imposters”
Alison Tolman, “Good Girls”
Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
The Americans, S06E10 - “START”
The Crown, S02E08 - “Dear Mrs. Kennedy”
The Good Fight, S02E12 - “Day 485”
Legion, S02E11 - “Chapter 19”
Kingdom, S03E10 - “Lie Down in the Light”
Peaky Blinders, S04E01 - “The Noose”
Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
The Americans, S06E10 - “START”
Counterpart, S01E07 - “The Sincerest Form of Flattery”
The Good Fight, S02E12 - “Day 485”
Halt and Catch Fire, S04E08 - “Goodwill”
Killing Eve, S01E05 - “I Have A Thing About Bathrooms”
Legion, S02E06 - “Chapter 14”
Outstanding Comedy Series
Brockmire
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
G.L.O.W.
The Good Place
Happy!
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
One Day at a Time
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Hank Azaria, “Brockmire”
Ted Danson, “The Good Place”
Chris Geere, “You’re the Worst”
Bill Hader, “Barry”
Christopher Meloni, “Happy!”
Chris O’Dowd, “Get Shorty”
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Pamela Adlon, “Better Things”
Rachel Bloom, “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”
Alison Brie, “G.L.O.W.”
Rachel Brosnahan, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Aya Cash, “You’re the Worst”
Andrea Savage, “I’m Sorry”
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
John Early, “Search Party”
Marc Maron, “G.L.O.W.”
Lance Reddick, “Corporate”
Ray Romano, “Get Shorty”
Tony Shalboub, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Henry Winkler, “Barry”
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Alex Borstein, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
D’Arcy Carden, “The Good Place”
Donna Lynne Champlin, “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”
Jane Levy, “There’s… Johnny!”
Judith Light, “Transparent”
Rita Moreno, “One Day at a Time”
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Raymond J. Barry, “You’re the Worst”
Jason Mantzoukas, “The Good Place”
Robert S. Powell III, “Atlanta”
Keanu Reeves, “Swedish Dicks”
Wallace Shawn, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Paul Welsh, “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Jane Lynch, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Niecy Nash, “A.P. Bio”
Carrie Preston, “Brockmire”
June Squibb, “I’m Sorry”
Maya Rudolph, “The Good Place”
Phoebe Tyers, “Search Party”
Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series
Atlanta, S02E06 - “Teddy Perkins”
Better Things, S02E10 - “Graduation”
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, S03E04 - “Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend is Crazy.”
G.L.O.W., S01E10 - “Money’s in the Chase”
Happy!, S01E06 - “The Scrapyard of Childish Things”
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, S01E01 - “Pilot”
Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series
Atlanta, S02E06 - “Teddy Perkins”
Barry, S01E07 - “Chapter Seven: Loud, Fast and Keep Going”
Better Things, S02E06 - “Eulogy”
The Good Place, S02E01 - “Everything is Great!”
One Day at a Time, S02E13 - “Not Yet”
You’re The Worst, S04E03 - “Odysseus”
Outstanding Limited Series
The Alienist
American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace
Howards End
The Last Tycoon
The Sinner
Waco
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie
Darren Criss, “American Crime Story”
Jeff Daniels, “The Looming Tower”
Jared Harris, “The Terror”
Terrence Howard, “Electric Dreams: Real Life”
Taylor Kitsch, “Waco”
Jimmy Tatro, “American Vandal”
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series
Hayley Atwell, “Howards End”
Jessica Biel, “The Sinner”
Dakota Fanning, “The Alienist”
Sarah Gadon, “Alias Grace”
Sarah Lancashire, “National Treasure: Kiri”
Cristin Milioti, “Black Mirror: U.S.S. Callister”
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series
Paul Bettany, “Manhunt: Unabomber”
Cody Fern, “American Crime Story”
Matthew Macfadyen, “Howards End”
Adam Nagaitis, “The Terror”
Tahar Rahim, “The Looming Tower”
Jimmi Simpson, “Black Mirror: U.S.S. Callister”
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited Series
Jennifer Beals, “The Last Tycoon”
Vera Farmiga, “Electric Dreams: Kill All Others’
Romola Garai, “The Miniaturist”
Judith Light, “American Crime Story”
Janelle Monáe, “Electric Dreams: Autofac”
Sharon Stone, “Mosaic”
Outstanding Directing for a Limited Series
The Alienist S01E06 - “Ascension”
American Crime Story S02E01 - “The Man Who Would Be Vogue”
Black Mirror S04E01 - “U.S.S. Callister”
The Last Tycoon S01E09 - “Oscar, Oscar, Oscar”
Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams S01E02 - “Impossible Planet”
Waco S01E06 - “Day 51”
Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series
American Crime Story S02E04 - “House by the Lake”
Black Mirror S04E06 - “Black Museum”
The Looming Tower S01E10 - “9/11”
Manhunt: Unabomber S01E06 - “Ted”
Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams S01E08 - “Autofac”
The Sinner S01E01 - “Part I”
FX/FXX, Amazon Prime and Netflix are among the top contenders with 25, 17 and 17 nominations respectively. The shows with the most nominations in drama, comedy and limited are pictured during the list.
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