#The Hypnagogic:Hour

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THE HYPNAGOGIC:HOUR PODCAST. EPISODE 58, JULY 10, 2023. (PART 0)

Transcript Below. Listen to the Intro Music if you like HERE

ERWIN: WwwWwwelcome back to the fifth dimension, conspiracists. It’s another Monday midnight, so slip on your best tin-foil hat and secure your phones, your Alexas, and all other Skynet-Approved citizen-spying devices in a secret location outside the room before you join us for another trip during the Hypnagogic Hour. I’m your host, Erwin – 

DYLAN: – And we’ve been doing this for 58 episodes now so everyone already knows who you are.

ERWIN: You don’t know that we don’t have new listeners, first of all, and two, it’s clearly a stylized intro. Don’t ruin it!

DYLAN: [He laughs] If you’re just now joining us, I’m Dylan, the same co-host that’s been here for 58 episodes. I’m also the more practical, reasonable half of this team and part of that responsibility is making sure we have paid bills, so without further ado, let’s kick it back over to Erwin for the top of the hour Ad-Roll.

ERWIN: We’re all interdimensional interstellar beings trapped here on the blue marble in corporeal Terran forms, and part of the universal experience of being an earth-bound meatbag is that sometimes you grow hair where you don’t want hair to be. With tonight’s sponsor, Bushwacked, you’ll be silky, alien smooth in no time, even in the most tender of your fleshy places. With their 5-piece grooming system at a reasonable price of only thirty-five dollars, no longer will you have to fear your private photos looking like Bigfoot’s thirst traps. Sign up today with code HYPNA50, and get half off your first order, plus a free gift of extra shave gel. Thanks to Bushwacked for sponsoring tonight’s podcast, and to all our listeners supporting the program.

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THE HYPNAGOGIC:HOUR PODCAST. EPISODE 59, "SPECIAL BREAKING NEWS REPORT" JULY 11, 2023. (PART 1)

Transcript Below. Listen to the Intro Music if you like HERE

ERWIN: WwwWwwWelcome back to the fifth dimension conspiracists, it’s not another Monday at Midnight when you’re joining us, it’s Tuesday now, but we’re coming to you live and on-location from our investigation in Moonwood Mill for a very special breaking news report. For this excursion into the Valley of the Uncanny, we ask that you bust out a few cloves of garlic, prepare your colloidal silver spray, as always, don your finest Anti-Mind Tampering gear, but most importantly, don’t forget to familiarize yourself with a little helpful spell called Lumina Sol, it gets uncomfortably dangerous in the darker corners of our realm during the Hypnagogic Hour. I’m your host, Erwin Pries– 

DYLAN: And for everybody out there joining us for the first time, I’m your co-host, Dylan Sigworth. We uh, we don’t have an ad roll prepared for the top of the hour like we usually do, and no, the “powers that be” over at PowerSip have not yet emailed Erwin back about that coveted sponsorship, so we’re just gonna get right into it and jump straight into the update. There’s been a lot of unexpected happenings in the past 24 – 25? 26? hours: so many that it still feels a little surreal, to be honest. 

ERWIN: Confirmed, first-hand evidence of The Hall of Arcane Knowledge using their Task Forces to conduct illegal memory searches on potential witnesses with no warrant, discovering that the werewolves in this town are secretly hoarding thoroughly documented histories of the magical world’s most infamous warlock cabal after The Hall of Arcane Knowledge tried to completely scrub them from any and all records, finding out about the warlock cabal’s involvement in the Tunnel Murders, where they are in present day if my theory is correct, and we even found some physical evidence of what’s really going on around here that you know the Hall isn’t going to be forthcoming about to the public... Surprise surprise, it’s not an investigation on their part, it’s, you guessed it, a cover up. Yeah I’d say that’s a lot of happenings, we’ve been pretty busy. It’s been a long day, and to be honest, even I’m a little confused on where to start here ‘cause there’s so much.

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THE HYPNAGOGIC:HOUR PODCAST. EPISODE 59, “SPECIAL BREAKING NEWS REPORT” JULY 11, 2023. (PART 2)

Transcript Below. Listen to the Intro Music & Backing Soundtrack if you like HERE.

DYLAN: We should probably start with the sewer findings and then go from there, that seems like it’d make the most sense and I don’t think I even got the full run-down on what it is we stumbled across.

ERWIN: Listeners are gonna need to head to the supplemental blog for this one to see exactly what I ended up finding, but to take you through a little bit of the investigative process first so you understand how this was obtained in the first place – there’s a reason Quaeromancy spells aren’t on the repertoire when it comes to basic or even higher magical education at UBrite, if you don’t actively seek this out in the Hall’s library, you’ll never even know it’s a sub-discipline that exists. Basically, it’s the uh, it’s the harnessing of psychic forces into latent psychic abilities to locate objects that are lost, which tends to be you know, a pretty heavy-hitter in my personal toolbelt despite the fact that it’s pretty much a dead art and I would highly highly recommend that you all add it to your skill bank too if any and all books about it don’t get pulled off the shelves after this episode. Once we got down there, I cast a general Quaerere on the area to start the search and after narrowing it down to smaller, more specific searches tied to the suspected victims of the Tunnel Murders… I ended up finding something very interesting and very weird: If you pull up the picture now, you’ll be able to see it, it’s a ghoul tooth. 

DYLAN: We’ve got our specific type of undead narrowed down, then – and we know a little bit about ghouls, they’re zombie-adjacent “creatures” that maul vampires for their blood instead of mortals for flesh, right?

ERWIN: That’s what we’ve been taught, but if you happen to do a little digging into a series of references called the Encyclopedia Vampirica – which we also found in the Moonwood Archives and I’ve been reading on them literally all night since we came across that tooth – zombie-adjacent and undead are the only things your average Caster would even know, but it goes much, much deeper than that. They don’t maul vampires for their blood, they’re basically Thralls that are blood-bound and completely in the service of a specific Vampire for as long as they’re being fed… they’re failed progeny. For whatever reason, if the Embrace doesn’t quite take the way it’s supposed to, the would-be progeny doesn’t end up as a vampire, they end up as a ghoul and are immediately indoctrinated into a mind-control type situation with their would-be sire, who then allows them to feed off their own blood periodically in order to keep them under their control. It’s part of like, the Vampire ecosystem and food chain at large. 

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THE HYPNAGOGIC:HOUR PODCAST. EPISODE 58, JULY 10, 2023. (PART I)

Transcript Below. Listen to the Intro Music & Backing Soundtrack if you like HERE

ERWIN: Alright, thank you again to Bushwacked, and with the top of the hour ad-roll finished, let’s get to the first item on the docket – We are, at the time of going live, T-Minus five and a half hours from hitting the road and beginning our preliminary investigation. If you’re just joining us and you haven’t had time to check out the episode back-logs, uh, starting today, Dylan, myself, my sister, and our good friend and roommate Emilia will be doing a field assignment for this very program in Moonwood Mill. We’ll be gone for the next three days following up on leads and anonymous tips live and in-person, and next Monday, if all goes according to plan, we’ve got a major breaking story to share with you.

DYLAN: Are you going to fill everyone – including those of us going on the trip [he snickers, perking a playful brow at Erwin] – in on what this mysterious field assignment actually is or is this just a teaser for next week so we can finish up early tonight and go to bed at some point? [A pointed glance is directed at Erwin, knowing that there’s no way to know when the last time he actually went to sleep was.]

ERWIN: This would have been a killer place to put in a second ad-roll for PowerSip but they won’t email me back so– Marketing department at PowerSip, if you’re listening, you are missing out on your peak demographic here and a prime outlet willing to become your corporate shills – no one that does sports drinks fruit-flavored toxic waste, it’s all gamers and guys like us, so y’know, think about it. 

DYLAN: For legal reasons, The Hypnagogic Hour does not promote drinking PowerSip instead of sleeping– 

ERWIN: This is why they won’t email me back – “for legal reasons”, shut up, the FDA tried to close up shop three different times, okay, we know what it is, it’s got so much caffeine in it that if you drink a whole one in less than ten minutes you can smell gravitational fields and if you drink more than two a day your heart temporarily stops – But, like me, if you have more important stuff to do than lie unconscious for hours while Big Business uses clandestine military-grade EMP-beam technology to forcefully alter your dreams with product placements and advertisements being shoved into your subconscious, it gets the job done. 

DYLAN: We’re not even five minutes in and already, I don’t even know where to start with that. [He blinks a few times, seemingly dazed by the whirlwind of words that were just hurled out of Erwin’s mouth.] Back to the field assignment– 

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THE HYPNAGOGIC:HOUR PODCAST. EPISODE 58, JULY 10, 2023. (PART II - FINAL)

Transcript Below. Listen to the Intro Music & Backing Soundtrack if you like HERE

ERWIN: Right. So I didn’t want to mention this until now when we’re doing the teaser episode for next week’s episode, but the field investigation in Moonwood Mill is going to be kind of like a cross-genre sort of thing– 

DYLAN: [interrupting] Explain? Cross genre between us and what because if it has anything to do with a secret cabal of warlocks –? 

ERWIN: No, that’s another assignment for later possibly, and it hinges on whether or not I can get my informant to start talking again; this one is a crossover into a little bit of True Crime. 

DYLAN: [Dylan’s brow furrows as he poorly attempts to conceal a rather concerned expression.] True Crime? Does that mean there’s more than theories from the anonymous tips coming in? Is there actual evidence? 

ERWIN: As far as evidence goes, yeah, there’s some, but unfortunately not a lot. The Hall of Sages are keeping all of this really quiet and sending out task forces to make sure that it stays hush-hush, which is what got my attention in the first place – From what little I could extract from my insider in The Vale, the anonymous tips that corroborated what I’ve already heard are really onto something that’s tangible and provable as we speak: the fact that there’s been a huge uptick in bodies found in the Moonwood Tunnels. 

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The Hypnagogic:Hour – A podcasted fever dream, bringing you the latest in the unearthed arcane. Join Erwin Pries & Dylan Sigworth every Monday @ Midnight to discuss cryptozoology, conspiracies, and the creepiest news from the supernatural world.

Top Reviews from PodcastMagick! Network listeners:

"My son is a little cautious about the radiation poisoning you can get from using your cell phone too much, so having my daughter email me the link every week so I can listen to this is almost as good as getting him to call! Glad we could find a happy medium. P.S. You're doing great honey! I'm glad you're having fun and you're doing a social hobby!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️" - June Pries

"Let your mother know when/if you need a new optometrist appointment. She can't leave more than one review on this thing but she wanted me to tell you that she noticed when watching the video version you put up on the Youtube that the room is darker than the inside of a cow's ass (paraphrasing) and you're sitting too close to your laptop. Those glasses were 400 bucks, help 'em out a little and turn on a damn lamp. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (one star deducted for frivolous and needlessly expensive eye strain)" - Colonel Edward Pries

"I swear to the Fates I just saw a garden gnome in my grandparents' backyard MOVE. Do those count as Haunted Dolls?! (Episode 15) Will be watching CLOSELY. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️" - Rohan Elderberry

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Time for a "pinned post" introduction, intrepid blog wanderers!

Luna. She/Her. 36. Longtime Simblr lurker and even longer-time writer, it's just my first time actually interacting with folks here and posting things where other people can see it ; maybe even hopefully enjoy it (?). I love avidly reading all kinds of Sim stories, but over here on this blog, I write about/redesign/bake from scratch exclusively Occult Sims, some (very very loosely) based off premade households reimagined through my own interpretation of their little bio blurbs, some completely original, and some so heavily remade during the reimagination process that they might as well be original — I can and will Occult-ize all your faves. 😎 Content Warnings (if necessary) will usually be on a post-by-post basis since I don't plan things too terribly far ahead (I storyboard it out one "Episode" at a time) and kinda want to "see where the story takes me". Character Death is one theme I'm warning about right out of the gate, also there's gonna be heavy overall themes having to do with an extremely well meaning albeit controlling and micromanaging magical matriarch. I don't Time Zone Reblog, so be sure to check any of my specific tags if you think you might have missed something.

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