#The Lucien Project

[blue-manuscript]

my computer died so I can’t post an excerpt but Y’ALL! I did it! I won NaNoWriMo!!

[thelonelywhale]

My Mighty Nein character designs are finally finished! These were a ton of fun to work on, and I’m really pleased with where my style ended up.

Check out all their lineart outfit alts under the cut! (pls I worked so hard on them)

Beauregard

Yasha

Lucien-Molly-Kingsley

Nott-Veth

Essek

Caleb

Jester

Caduceus

Fjord

[the-lonelybarricade]

Currently thinking about Lucien using his magic to make Elain her mating band ring. Heating and bending the metal with his hands, studying and dedicating himself to the craft so that he can make it perfect for her

[achaotichuman]

Stupid little headcanon.

When Tamlin gets overstimulated at balls or parties, he finds Lucien and gently tugs the back of his shirt. Lucien will abandon any conversation he's in the middle of to escort Tamlin out of the party, indiscreetly shooing away anyone that tries to stop and trap them in small talk.

Tamlin and Lucien then spend the night cuddling and reading together in Lucien's room.

[starsreminisce]

“We have everything we need,” I admitted to Elain. “Buying presents feels excessive.” “It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold. “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.”

“You brought presents,” I said uselessly, nodding toward the small stack he’d set by the window. “It’s Solstice tradition here, isn’t it?”

I love how both Lucien and Elain understand the importance of Solstice to the Night Court, even though they are outsiders and relatively new to the court.

I also believe that Elain's reasoning is a plausible explanation for why Lucien specifically gives a present to Feyre and Elain. Lucien recognizes how hard Feyre fought for Prythian twice—first as a human and then after she was Made. Additionally, in some way, he may be honoring Elain's role in Hybern's demise. This further demonstrates how the bond links them; Elain values gift-giving, and because she does, Lucien presents her with gifts.

Another notable aspect is that Lucien doesn't expect anything in return from them. He hasn't complained or commented about not receiving anything for two years, emphasizing the selflessness of his gestures.

[areyoudreaminof]

ACOTAR PLAYLIST PROJECT

The ACOTAR Playlist Project is now complete! Thank you for listening! I had a wonderful time making these, and I hope you all discovered new music in the process. I'd love to know which was your favorite! Stay tuned for more playlists in other fandoms.

A Quiet Dreamer: An Elain Archeron Playlist

Master of Herself: A Nesta Archeron Playlist

Stars Eternal: A Feyre Archeron Playlist

Moon on a String: A Lucien Vanserra Playlist

Night Triumphant: A Rhysand Playlist

No Regrets in this Life: A Cassian Playlist

To Hell With a Reputation: A Mor Playlist

Whisper of Darkness: An Azriel Playlist

A Dreamer With No Stars: An Eris Vanserra Playlist

The Rock Against the Surf: A Gwyn Berdara Playlist

Nothing Can Break Me: An Emerie Playlist

Leave Out a Cup For Me: An Amren Playlist

Golden Hour: An Elucien Playlist

and we kissed as though nothing could fall: A Helion x LoA Playlist

Dreams That Answer: A Feysand Week Playlist

This Life and the Next: A Nessian Playlist

Every Second Counts: An Emorie Playlist

Storm Song: A Gwynriel Playlist

King Under Your Control: An Azris Playlist

[sketchyorsomething]

Acotar headcanon:

Tamlin likes every animal and will speak in baby voice to every animal he encounters. A duck at a lake? Excuse you that's clearly a little little duckie duck duck naww such a cute little thing. A grown wolf stalking through the forest? You rather mean a good boy cuddly little wauwau do you want me to pet you? Of course you do, you little wuffi

Lucien, however, is wary of animals ever since he once sat at a lake, watching the fish and the one fish suddenly became Tamlin shifting back in his Fae form after swimming a little as a fish.

[alanide-art]

Another unfinished challenge 😭

Dressuptober from last year!

[valdrift]

self indulgent viet 3leaf sketches ✌

[blue-manuscript]

The Lucien Project (excerpt 04/23/24)

Loud, instrumental music played strong enough to sound clear even with Lucien’s protected ears, signaling the start of the show.  Two women in tight, black bodysuits entered the arena, waving emphatically to the crowd, beauty pageant smiles plastered on their faces.  They reached into the pool, and then a beautiful, gray dolphin leaped from the water, flipping itself in the air. The crowd exclaimed and clapped in excitement, while Lucien sat with his jaw agape and eyes wide open.  He couldn’t imagine experiencing anything cooler. 

The show went on, with the ladies dancing and directing the dolphin, and the dolphin jumping, flipping, and swimming. By the time the women took a bow, it was clear to Lucien that the dolphin was exhausted.  He saw its shadow deep beneath the surface, but it wasn’t moving, even slowly, like it had before the show.  He looked at Robin first, and then Guardian, with concern, picturing the dolphin weakened and suffering on the floor of the pool. Guardian’s eyes softened, reflecting Lucien’s worries back onto him. He stood slowly, motioning for Robin and Lucien to stay in their seat, and he approached the trainer women.  They exchanged words that neither child could hear, both the women and Guardian turning to look at the children at different points in the conversation.  

Finally, Guardian returned to the children.  Robin pulled his head towards hers as soon as she could, wondering what the grown-ups had been talking about.  He whispered something quietly, and she pulled open the notebook again.  Instead of drawing something, however, she pointed at the earlier drawing of the dolphin, and then pointed at Lucien himself.  She did the same thing a couple of times before Lucien thought he understood.  He nodded his head, both to Robin and to Guardian – he wanted to go see the dolphin. 

Guardian guided Lucien into the arena, past the crowd barricades, and right up to the water.  The women smiled and waved, but otherwise said nothing.  Lucien felt relief – Guardian always tried to tell people about Lucien’s rules before he met them.  Lucien was sure that the women had questions, and rules for him, too, but they just watched him carefully, as he sat on the edge of the pool, and held his head over the side to look down. 

The dolphin was mostly still, but it didn’t seem trapped to the floor. In fact, it looked like it was floating a foot or so above the floor of the pool, as far as Lucien could tell.  The only sign the dolphin was moving came from the calm swaying of waves at the top of the pool. He reached his hand out towards the water, and put his arm in, up to his elbows.  He heard a quick shout and looked behind him to see one of the trainer women with a terrified look on her face. Lucien withdrew his hand, while it looked like Guardian worked on talking her down. He turned his attention back to the calm pool and the tired dolphin. 

The dolphin stirred. Slowly, it began floating in the pool, coming closer to take a look at Lucien.  It peeked its head just above the surface of the water, its eyes out and looking at Lucien’s. He felt her exhaustion, and he knew now that the dolphin was female, too. She jumped in and out of the water, day in and day out, through sunrises and sunsets. She recognized and cared for the trainers, wanted to please them, but her dedication was waning. She was getting old. She didn’t want to perform for strangers, anymore. If she had to perform, it should be for the trainers, or for the few other people she had come to recognize as friends. Her body was stiff. She barely felt able to swim at all after this last show. She was running out of time, and she felt it. 

Lucien felt it, too. Tears once again fell down his face as she showed him her life, her birth in captivity and her training endeavors, her shows and her failures, her growth and her growing pains. He watched as she swam in circles with another dolphin, a male, one she hadn’t seen in years. He could feel her longing. She was lonely, despite her trainer friends.  She was lonely, she was old, and she wanted to be somewhere she belonged. She didn’t belong here anymore. She wanted to see the other dolphin again. She wanted to see the ocean. 

When his tears began to slip into the water, she began to pull away, slowly, as if she was afraid to tear her eyes away from him. He knew, however, that she was just far too tired to stay at the surface. He knew that she’d tried this before, that she’d tried asking for help to get away from the pool, but nobody had understood. He felt her uneasiness like a vice constricting his heart from beating. She didn’t think Lucien understood, either. 

Lucien stood up hurriedly and ran back to the stadium seats to yank the sketchbook from Robin’s hand. He ignored as she stammered objections from behind him. He sat down next to the pool, next to the dolphin, and drew her carefully, as she rested near the bottom of her pool. Then, he drew her again, with a liveliness in her body, with no pool or other barrier around her. He presented it to Guardian, and the trainers. He didn’t wait to listen to them respond – he just sat back down at the edge of the pool and watched the dolphin solemnly. 

“Two dolphins,” one of the women said, while looking at the picture. “This one looks like Deena, our dolphin, but the other one looks… different. Happier.”

“Hey, only one of those dolphins is in a tank-“ the other one noted. 

“Does that matter? It looks like he’s telling us he likes happier looking dolphins,” the first trainer responded. 

Guardian shook his head. “No, Lucien is… well, he would have been more clear if that was the case.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “It looks like he’s got Deena in her cage here-“

“Tank,” the second trainer interrupted. 

“Right, okay, so it looks like he’s got Deena in the tank here, and she’s sad,” he said, pointing to the page. “And then here, it looks like, I don’t know, a happier Deena that’s not in a tank. I think that’s what he’s saying. But I don’t really know why.”

The three adults turned to look back at Lucien, who was oblivious, enraptured by the dolphin below. 

The first trainer shrugged and raised an eyebrow. “You said he couldn’t talk to people, but you’re saying he can talk to this animal?”

“No, well, I don’t know, it’s just, well, Lucien is-“ Guardian stumbled over his words, not finding any that made sense. “I don’t know. Maybe he can, maybe he can’t.  I’m just saying I think you read the picture wrong.”

The second trainer rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re the father. We won’t argue. I guess we could review Deena’s schedule, but I don’t really see what good that would do you and your son.”

“He’s not my-“ Guardian started, and then stopped himself.  He cleared his throat. “Thank you. He just seems to really care for her.”

Both trainers nodded their head in response, watching Lucien’s back as he stared out into the cool waters below.

[foxxism]

I HC that every time Blue spells his name different. Like telling a new friend his name is Blue but spelt Bleu or Bloo. I think it’s super funny :D

alternates between lucien/lucian because people always spell it wrong

[the-true-boomer]

Coming Soon...

"When I look into the darkness, do you know what I see? The truth."

"When I first found you, you were nothing, you were small, pathetic… But now you are more... Are you ready?"

"I can't die: What do you think I've been chasing this entire time?"

[achaotichuman]

Stupid little headcanon,

Lucien chugs tea like it's gonna solve all his problems.

Sitting at the table, clutching his wonky homemade cup he made at one pottery class several years ago for dear life, while he stares into nothing like

[goforth-ladymidnight]

A Second Chance, Ch. 9

Pairing: Tamlin x Lucien

Word Count: 5.1k

Summary: The Christmas tree decorating party concludes, then Tamlin and Lucien get a little one-on-one time. NSFW-ish.

@praetorqueenreyna @thrumbolt @taymartiart @northern-star-polaris @zivotzaruzi Does anyone else want to be tagged?

Read on AO3, or continue reading below:

source: Pinterest

With a mug of cider in one hand and a gingerbread cookie in the other, Lucien lowered himself onto the loveseat with a contented sigh and sat back to enjoy the show. Tamlin and Jurian kept taking turns as they tried to place—and re-place—the golden star at the top of the otherwise decorated tree.

“I’m telling you: It’s fine,” Jurian insisted after Tamlin stepped on the footstool for the third time.

“It’s floppy,” Tamlin argued, mimicking the position of the star with his hand.

“It’s a star. It doesn’t have to be straight,” Jurian insisted.

Tamlin frowned from his perch up on the footstool. “Lu, what do you think?” he asked, then pointed to the six-sided star. “Does it look straight to you?”

Lucien smirked as lifted his mug for a sip. “I think I’m too gay for that question,” he teased.

Tamlin blushed, then glared at Jurian as he barked a laugh. “Ha-ha,” he said flatly, then stepped down to ground level. “I’m bi, not blind,” he muttered as he looked up at the tree.

Jurian clapped him good-naturedly on the shoulder. “Relax, kid. It’s just a star, not the end of the world.”

As Vassa joined Lucien on the loveseat, gingerbread in hand, Jurian turned his attention to her.

“Vassa, what do you think?” he asked, then switched to Scythian. “Is it straight?”

Vassa took a thoughtful bite of gingerbread as she looked the tree over, then tilted her wrist the same way Tamlin had. “Crooked,” she said in Scythian.

This time Tamlin barked a laugh as Jurian scowled.

“That’s two against one.”

“Hang on. Your friend didn’t say it wasn’t straight—”

“He didn’t say it was, either—”

Lucien chuckled to himself as the two continued their useless argument.

“Was that good answer?” Vassa asked Lucien softly.

“It was perfect,” he said, smiling as she leaned against him to watch the others bicker.

She sighed a deep sigh and rested her head against his shoulder. “Your Tam,” she said softly, “he is good to you, no?”

“Yeah,” Lucien murmured, then looked down at her with some surprise. “Why?” He jerked his chin in Jurian’s direction. “Is he not good to you?”

“He is,” she said quietly, then lifted her head with a sad smile. “He is gentle to me.” Her crystal blue eyes were shadowed. “I had forgotten what a gentle man is.”

Lucien nudged her so that she looked at him. “Hey. It is over. You are safe,” he assured her in Scythian. “You feel safe at your hotel?”

She nodded.

He smiled. “Then do not worry. I can take care of Jurian if rat poison does not work.”

She chuckled and dropped her gaze, then nudged him playfully.

“Did I hear my name?”

Lucien and Vassa looked up as one to see Jurian and Tamlin watching them curiously.

Lucien gestured to the tree with his mug. “You took good care of the tree. Both of you.”

Jurian nodded thoughtfully, then put his hands in his pockets as he looked the tree over. “It did turn out pretty nice, huh.”

Tamlin gestured to the top of it. “Well, I still say the star is crooked,” he said, then reached for some gingerbread as he took his seat across from them on the couch.

Lucien couldn’t help his smirk. “If you don’t like it, we could always replace it with a gay wedding cake topper,” he teased.

Tamlin sputtered as he nearly choked on a mouthful of gingerbread.

Jurian reached over and thumped him on the back. “Now that would be a first,” he said wryly as Tamlin managed a deep breath.

“That’s a bit sacrilegious, don’t you think?” Tamlin asked with a shy smile, his cheeks bright red.

Lucien returned his smile. “Even if I was religious, which I’m not—” he began, gesturing with his mug, “—I don’t think God cares what’s on my tree anymore than he cares who I sleep with,” then took a sip of cider.

“Yeah,” Tamlin murmured, dropping his gaze to the broken cookie in his hand. “You’re probably right.”

Jurian took a seat on the arm of the couch and looked the tree over. “Well, it is a damn fine tree,” he observed.

And he was right. Vassa’s gold ribbon wound around the tree in a shining spiral, and the white lights sparkled like stars as they reflected off the assortment of red and gold ornaments hanging from the evergreen boughs.

Tamlin might not have noticed the symbolism, but Lucien had chosen red and gold as a theme on purpose, to represent their brand new relationship. This was their tree. Their Christmas. And, he hoped, the start of a new year together. Longer, even. No true god in heaven would ever deny them that kind of happiness.

Jurian cleared his throat. “Well,” he announced, slapping his knees before he stood. “It’s getting late. We should probably get going.”

“Which ‘we’ are we talking about?” Tamlin asked.

Jurian’s joints cracked audibly as he straightened his back. “I meant me and Vassa,” he said with a sigh, “but if you want me to drop you off at home first, I can.”

Tamlin caught Lucien’s eye and shook his head. “No. I want to stay.”

Even though Lucien didn’t think Tamlin wanted to leave, he was relieved to hear him say it, just the same.

“I thought so,” Jurian said with a smile, then reached for his coat. “Shall we, milady?” he asked Vassa.

“Wait. Not yet,” Lucien said, quickly sitting up to set his food aside. “I want some pictures first.”

“Pictures?” Jurian echoed.

“What kind of pictures?” Tamlin asked.

“You know. Of us. The tree,” Lucien said, dusting the crumbs off his hands. “I have a camera around here somewhere… I’ll be right back.”

When he returned, camera in hand, Jurian was already putting on his coat.

Lucien’s eager smile faded. “Didn’t you want your picture taken?” he asked, holding up the camera.

“Who, me?” Jurian pointed to himself, clearly startled. “You wanted a picture of me?”

“And Vassa,” Lucien said as she eagerly took off her coat. “You both helped decorate. It’s a memory of the occasion.”

“Oh.” Jurian looked surprised, but thoughtful. “I’m not usually on this side of the camera, so…”

Vassa distracted him by helping him out of his coat, then reached up to straighten his Santa hat and smooth out his shirt collar. “There,” she said sweetly, and patted his chest. “You look very handsome.”

Jurian smiled and reached out to gently tug at the brim of her elf hat. “You’re pretty cute yourself.”

Lucien snapped a photo of their fond, candid smiles, then Jurian looked up, startled.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were going to…”

“That’s okay,” Lucien said, gesturing them closer. “We can take a couple of posed shots.”

Jurian looked strangely gawky and awkward as he put one hand in his pocket and the other around Vassa’s shoulders. She snuggled up to him right away, smiling radiantly, while Jurian looked at Lucien like a deer crossing the street.

Lucien’s finger hesitated on the shutter button. He was almost tempted to make Jurian and Tamlin trade headgear, until Tamlin called out, “You look like a stiff, Jurian.”

Jurian’s tight smile softened at once as he chuckled. “Just so you know, I’m flipping you off in my pocket right now,” he told Tamlin wryly.

“So, what else is new?”

Jurian’s smile was more genuine as he shook his head and looked at the camera, and Lucien didn’t hesitate to take a handful of photos.

“All right,” Jurian announced, stepping forward with his hand outstretched. “Fair’s fair. Gimme.”

Lucien unlooped the camera strap from his neck as he asked, “Do you want me to show you how it works?”

“I’ve taken a few photos in my time,” Jurian said, hefting it expertly. “I’m sure I can figure it out.”

As Tamlin stood, slowly and hesitantly from his place on the far end of the couch, Lucien asked Jurian, “Would you take a couple photos of the tree for me?”

“Sure thing.”

As the shutter snapped behind him, Lucien stepped closer to Tamlin. “Hey,” he asked softly. “You okay?”

Tamlin nodded quickly, nervously rubbing his hands over his pant legs.

“Hey,” Lucien said again, touching his arm. “It’s just a photo. It’s just us. We used to do this all the time in college, remember?”

“I know,” Tamlin murmured, dropping his gaze to take a slow, deep breath.

“So, what’s the matter?”

Tamlin breathed a laugh, blushing madly as he met Lucien’s gaze. “I-I don’t really know what to do with my hands,” he admitted shyly.

Lucien grinned in surprise, and delight. “So, give them to me,” he said, half-teasing as he held out out his own. “I’ll think of something to do with them.”

Tamlin chuckled and dropped his gaze, his tanned skin turning a radiant red. After a brief moment of hesitation, he nodded and slipped his hands in Lucien’s. His skin was roughened from the weather, but his smile was soft, and his grip was firm.

Lucien squeezed his fingers, then began walking slowly backward and pulled him along. “Don’t let me fall,” he teased.

Tamlin nodded, still smiling, then his eyes widened. “Oh! Watch out for the—”

Lucien half-turned as the back of his knee hit the corner of the coffee table with a sudden ‘Oh, shit’, and he would have buckled if Tamlin hadn’t been holding onto him so tightly.

He burst into hysterical laughter as Tamlin hauled him upright, then held him steady when his knees threatened to give out again from laughing.

Tamlin was laughing, too, but nervously. “Geez! You okay?” he asked, gripping Lucien’s arms.

“Yeah, except I look like a complete idiot,” Lucien wheezed.

“You don’t look like a…”

They both looked down at Lucien’s ugly striped sweater at the same time, and Tamlin’s antlers jingled. They broke into fresh peals of laughter and weakly hugged each other for support. Tamlin’s arms were strong, and it didn’t hurt that he smelled like cinnamon and gingerbread.

When Lucien found the strength to speak again, he stepped back and moaned, “Oh, God. Look at us.”

Tamlin’s green eyes were shining as he brushed a hair from Lucien’s cheek and smiled. “Yeah.”

Lucien smiled back. Nothing else needed to be said.

A snapped shutter startled Lucien from his reverie. He had almost forgotten they weren’t alone. Vassa, for her part, was watching them and beaming with her hands over her heart, while Jurian lowered the camera, smiling.

“I think you’ll like these,” Jurian said, holding it out. “I got some good ones.”

“Oh… Already?” Tamlin remarked, sounding—surprisingly—disappointed.

“One more, by the tree?” Lucien asked.

Jurian nodded and gave him an understanding smile. “Sure.”

When they were standing by the tree, face to face and hand in hand, Lucien suddenly found himself at a loss. He didn’t know what to say or how to pose, and that usually came easily to him. Instead he silently ran his thumbs across the backs of Tamlin’s hands. The shutter clicked, but he tried to ignore that.

“I told you I didn’t know what to do with my hands,” Tamlin said softly. “I don’t know where to touch you with—with them watching.”

Lucien raised his eyebrows with a smirk and found his voice at last. “Where do you want to touch me?” he murmured.

“Not here,” Tamlin muttered, which made both of them blush as he seemed to realize what exactly he had implied.

Stifling an inappropriate giggle, Lucien said, “How would it be if we weren’t boyfriends? What would you do?”

Tamlin glanced at Jurian, then said quietly, “I guess I… I’d put my arm around you, like this,” then demonstrated by pulling Lucien against his side.

Lucien smiled at his warmth, then slid his arm around Tamlin’s waist. “Like this?”

Tamlin smiled shyly and dropped his gaze to nod.

“Perfect,” Jurian said, raising the camera. “Now pretend I’m not here.”

“Yeah, right,” Tamlin said wryly.

“What?” Jurian drawled. “Just pretend I’m birdwatching.”

To Lucien’s surprise, Tamlin’s smile vanished and he stiffened. “Hey,” he said with a gentle nudge. “How about we do this the old-fashioned way?”

“What way?” Tamlin said with a confused frown.

“You know,” Lucien prompted. “One-two-three-Christmas! Or something cheesy like that.”

Tamlin chuckled, and finally started to relax. “Okay… but how about: ‘One-two-three-boyfriends’ or something instead.”

Lucien felt a pleasurable heat warm his cheeks as he smiled. “Yeah. Boyfriends. I like that.”

Click.

Lucien glanced at their photographer, then told Tamlin, “All right. Here. If we’re going to do the whole boyfriend thing, lean your head against mine—yeah, like that—and give me your other hand.”

“What for?” Tamlin asked, even as he held it out.

Lucien curled his fingers and extended his thumb. “Okay… Now, copy me… and put your hand against mine.”

Tamlin frowned but did as he said, then broke into an amazed laugh. “Oh, my god. Did we just make a—”

“A heart? Yes,” Lucien teased. “Now look at the camera!”

Tamlin turned his head to look at Jurian. “We look like idiots,” he whispered through clenched teeth.

Lucien grinned as Vassa beamed at them. “Hey, I’m already wearing the sweater,” he murmured back. “Might as well go all the way, right?”

Tamlin chuckled and gently nuzzled Lucien’s forehead. “Right.”

Boyfriends.

Click.

* * *

Tamlin lingered by the open doorway as Jurian helped Vassa into her coat and Lucien went to retrieve one of the gift bags still sitting by the couch.

“Are you sure we can’t help you clean up?” Jurian called out.

“I’m sure,” Lucien called back while Tamlin glanced doubtfully around the living room at the mugs and the piles of empty ornament boxes. “I have cleaners that come in every Monday, but thanks for the offer,” he added.

Jurian let out an impressed whistle. “Okay, then,” he said, satisfied, then turned to Tamlin. “What time do you want me to pick you up?”

Before Lucien could insist on taking him to work himself, Tamlin quickly said, “Nine is fine.”

“Nine is fine for what?” Lucien asked, walking up to them, gift bag in hand.

“For picking me up for work,” Tamlin replied, embarrassed, and hoping that was explanation enough. Like it or not, they still had a job to do, and the less Lucien knew about it, the better.

“Oh.” Lucien blinked in surprise. “Well, I could drop you off if you—”

“No, that’s okay,” Tamlin said lightly, trying not to hurt his feelings.

Jurian added, “We always drive in together. We have to discuss our plans for the day, anyway.”

“Another time,” Tamlin told a clearly disappointed Lucien, and he hoped it wasn’t a lie. “I mean, life has to go back to normal sometime, right?”

“Yeah. Right,” Lucien said quietly, then offered Jurian a green gift bag. “Well, thanks for coming tonight.”

“Oh,” Jurian said with some surprise, and tentatively accepted the bag, then nearly dropped it. “Damn,” he said, hefting it with a nervous laugh. “What’s in this thing?”

“Just a little bottle of Christmas cheer, for you and for Vassa, as a thank you for helping with the tree.”

Vassa lifted the neck of a green glass wine bottle from the bag to examine the label, then smiled. “Oh, Lucien,” she gushed, “you are too sweet.”

Lucien shook his head, then bent to brush a kiss against her cheek, murmuring something in Scythian. She laughed, then kissed his cheek in turn and said something that made him smile.

“What are they saying?” Tamlin whispered to Jurian.

Jurian shook his head, brows furrowed. “Something about rat poison,” he muttered, “but I think I heard wrong.”

“You are ready?” Vassa asked Jurian, who nodded. She turned to Tamlin with a pleased smile and extended her gloved hand. When he took it, she covered his hand with her free one and said sweetly, “It was very good to meet you, Tam. Very good. You be good to my Lucien, yes?”

Tamlin chuckled as he nodded, then gently squeezed her hand. “Yes,” he agreed. “Uh, da,” he said, trying to speak her language.

She beamed at him, then released his hand to look up at Jurian. “We go now?”

“Da,” Jurian said softly, then offered her his arm.

She smiled up at him and took it, then paused to tell the others some kind of farewell in Scythian, and touched her fingers to her lips.

Lucien lifted his hand to wave. “See you tomorrow,” he told her.

Tamlin and Jurian exchanged brief, though wary glances. They couldn’t discuss it until the next morning on their drive, but unless Jurian changed his mind, they still had a job to do. Vassa was meeting up with Lucien again; it was just a matter of finding out the where and when. But before Tamlin could think to hint to ask, Jurian cleared his throat.

“Thanks again for the invite,” Jurian told Lucien. “And for the, uh,” he held up the bag, “the Christmas cheer.”

“My pleasure,” Lucien said, nodding.

Jurian nodded back, then caught Tamlin’s eye. “Have a good night, you two,” he said with a knowing smile, then shot him a look that said: Relax.

With Tamlin’s heart currently doing somersaults, that was easier said than done. “You, too,” he said numbly.

“Have a good night,” Lucien said as Jurian led Vassa into the hallway, then shut the door behind them. And locked it.

Good night.

Tamlin stood there like some kind of stuffed reindeer ornament as Lucien dimmed the lights in the apartment. He was almost too nervous to appreciate the glow of the firelight, and the way the tree shimmered in the dark. Almost.

Lucien turned and smiled at him, his auburn hair and his handsome face limned in soft Christmas light. “I have something for you,” he said in a low, sing-song voice.

Tamlin swallowed. Hard. “You do?”

“Mm-hmm,” was all Lucien said as he took his hand and led him to the couch. Not the loveseat. The couch.

The jingle of Tamlin’s antlers sounded distant for the blood roaring in his ears, but the feel of Lucien’s hand in his kept him tethered to reality, though barely.

“Have a seat,” Lucien said, so Tamlin sat.

He at least had the presence of mind to slide the reindeer headband free and set it aside, but his heart was in his throat as Lucien knelt on the floor at his feet… then bent over to reach for something underneath the couch.

Numbly he watched as Lucien withdrew a wide, white flat box wrapped in shining red ribbon, then sat beside him.

“I was going to put this under the tree, but I decided I didn’t want to wait,” Lucien said, placing the gift on Tamlin’s lap.

Tamlin stared at the box in disbelief. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or disappointed, then he realized he hadn’t even opened it yet. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said at last.

“Bah, humbug,” Lucien quipped, smiling. “Open it.”

Tamlin touched the shining red ribbon, then hesitated. “But I don’t have anything for you…”

Lucien waved dismissively. “That’s not the point,” he insisted. “I did this because I wanted to, okay? It’s Christmas.”

“Not for another two weeks,” Tamlin pointed out.

“So?”

“So… um…” Tamlin trailed off as he rubbed the smooth ribbon between his fingers. He couldn’t think of a reasonable response, or any response, and his resistance was quickly failing him.

Lucien reached for the box. “Hey, if you’re not going to open it, I will—”

“No, no. I’ll do it,” Tamlin said, jerking it out of reach, which made Lucien grin.

Tamlin’s heart flipped over at the sight of that smile, and his heart continued to beat erratically as he lowered the box to his lap.

It wasn’t heavy, but whatever was inside was soft and bulky. The thin cardboard bulged out as he hefted it and carefully shifted it from side to side, and it squished as he squeezed it like a child would on Christmas morning. “What is it?”

“Open it and see,” Lucien said, his eyes sparkling in the firelight.

Tamlin slid the ribbon free at last and gingerly lifted the lid. It was hard to make out in the dim light, but as he pulled it out, something made of incredibly soft, rich fabric spilled across his lap.

“Your very own pajamas,” Lucien declared, taking the box from him and setting it aside.

Emerald green satin shone in the light as Tamlin lifted the collared shirt up for inspection. “Oh, wow,” was all he could think to say.

“I was going to buy you some reindeer pajamas as a joke, to go with the headband, but I thought you might like these better,” Lucien said with a shy chuckle, then cleared his throat. “D-do you like it?”

Tamlin lowered it to his lap and ran his thumbs over the embroidered lapels. “Yeah,” he murmured.

“Because if you don’t, we can exchange it for something else,” Lucien said hurriedly. “I just didn’t want you to have to wear my brother’s hand-me-downs while you were here, so…”

Tamlin smiled softly to himself. “Thanks,” he murmured, then realized how unenthusiastic his response was. “They’re great,” he insisted, then leaned over and kissed Lucien’s cheek. “Really.”

Lucien looked at him askance and cocked a skeptical brow. “Really?”

“Really,” Tamlin repeated, holding it up against himself. “You picked my favorite color and everything.”

Lucien quirked his mouth to one side, then sighed. “At least I got that right,” he muttered.

“You did. It’s just… I wasn’t expecting pajamas, that’s all,” Tamlin tried to explain.

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know… Nothing?”

“Come on, Tam,” Lucien chided. “How can I just give you nothing? You’re my boyfriend.”

The term still made Tamlin blush. “I know… I just can’t afford to do the same for you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” At Tamlin’s silence, Lucien sighed again. “I’m sorry. If it makes you that uncomfortable, you don’t have to wear them,” he said gently.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Tamlin replied, then at Lucien’s incredulous look, he stammered, “I-I mean, not tonight, anyway…”

Lucien’s eyebrows rose. “Oh?” His countenance brightened as he sat up and grinned. “Oh, really…”

Tamlin blushed deeper. “I mean, I could wear them for a little while, to see if they fit…”

“Uh-huh. Keep talking,” Lucien said, turning to face him on the couch. “I like where this is going.”

Tamlin rubbed the soft fabric between his roughened fingers as he tried to think of what to say next. His face was so warm he broke into a sweat. “I-I don’t know. I’m not very good at this.”

“Hey,” Lucien said, and gently slid his hand across Tamlin’s shoulders. “It’s okay. It’s your first time.”

Tamlin let out a slow, quivering breath. “I mean, it’s not my first time,” he reminded him. “But it was different, with—with Feyre,” he faltered.

Lucien’s soft smile faded. “Am I pushing you too much?”

“No,” Tamlin tried to insist, but Lucien pulled his hand away.

“No, I am. I know I am,” Lucien said mournfully, then shook his head and sighed. “After everything you told me last night, I shouldn’t be—”

“Yes, you should,” Tamlin interrupted, setting the pajamas aside to turn and face him. “I don’t want that to be my life anymore. I’m tired of being broken. I want to be with—with you.” His heart picked up its erratic rhythm as Lucien met his gaze.

Lucien’s lips curved upward into the softest of smiles. “You’re not broken, Tam,” he said gently.

“I feel like I am,” Tamlin said quietly.

Lucien looked thoughtful a moment, then leaned forward. “Come here,” he murmured, then when he did, he kissed him, ever so softly. “Your lips don’t seem to be broken,” he said, then grinned.

Tamlin couldn’t help but grin back, but it faded as he whispered, “But what about the rest of me?”

Lucien responded by kissing him again, then trailed his lips along Tamlin’s jaw. “Maybe… we should find out.”

Tamlin sucked in a sharp, quivering breath as Lucien’s mouth came close to the place where she had once kissed him, and he screwed his eyes shut against the unwelcome memory.

Lucien paused, and his breath was warm against Tamlin’s neck. “You okay?”

Tamlin nodded, but he needed to hear himself say it. “Yeah.”

“Do you want to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

Lucien surprised him by lifting his head and kissing him lightly on the mouth instead. “I have an idea.”

“What?”

Lucien gave him a surprisingly shy smile. “First, you have to give me your hands.”

Tamlin slipped his hands in Lucien’s without hesitation.

Lucien looked thoughtful as he rubbed his thumbs across the backs of Tamlin’s hands. “Just as I thought,” he remarked.

Tamlin’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

Lucien smirked as he caught his eye, but it was teasing, not cruel. “Your hands aren’t broken, either.”

Tamlin blushed. “That’s good,” he said softly.

Lucien nodded, then pulled on his hands to pull him to his feet. “Now, part two. I need your help with something.”

“Cleaning?” Tamlin guessed, but Lucien shook his head.

“Oh no, it’s much more important than that,” he declared, keeping Tamlin’s hands in his, then stepped closer to whisper something in his ear. “I could really use your help taking off this sweater.” His breathy chuckle tickled Tamlin’s ear. “Trust me. It’s trickier than it looks.”

Tamlin couldn’t help but grin as Lucien stepped back, and he got a good look at the loose, Christmas-themed sweater. “Yeah,” he agreed softly. “I think I can help you with that.”

At last, it seemed, he finally knew what to do with his hands. And so did Lucien.

* * *

The trail of clothes began in the living room with Lucien’s god-awful striped sweater, and ended somewhere in the bathroom with Tamlin’s socks. But they weren’t in the bathroom now, even though half of their clothes were.

Instead, they were both lying on the unmade bed, staring somewhere into space, while fragrant steam from their shower still perfumed the air and scented their skin.

Beside him, Tamlin sighed. “Damn.”

Lucien let out a weak chuckle and turned his head. His hair was still damp against the pillow, and cool against his cheek. “Is that a good damn, or a bad damn, Tam?”

Tamlin chuckled, too, then met his gaze. “Just a ‘Damn. Why didn’t I do this sooner?’ kind of damn.” Even in the dim light, his green eyes seemed to sparkle as he smiled.

“Damn, indeed,” Lucien echoed.

Tamlin’s face was soft with pleasure, at last devoid of that self-doubt and shyness that he had displayed over the last two days. Two days… Was that all? It felt like like longer. And in a way, it was. It had been seven years, and then some.

Seven years worth of sorrow lifted at last, and gone for good… or so he hoped.

Lucien reached out and ran his fingers through the ends of Tamlin’s damp, silky strands. He wanted to say something, to express how he felt. He opened his mouth to say: I love you, but he hesitated. It had only been two days, and they had only made love once—well, twice, if he counted the shower—and he didn’t want to scare Tamlin off yet. Or ever. So, instead, he murmured it in Scythian. I love you. I think I always have. Stay with me.

Tamlin smiled at him bemusedly. “What does that mean?” he asked in a low, husky voice.

Lucien smiled to himself, considering his answer, then rolled over onto his side to face him. “I was complimenting you. That was amazing.”

Some of that sweet shyness returned as Tamlin smiled, then he rolled over as well and tucked one hand beneath his cheek. “I thought so, too,” he murmured. “Is it always like this? You know, with other men?”

“It is with you. And that’s all that matters.”

Tamlin looked thoughtful for a moment, then reached for his hand. His skin was softer now, from the shower and from the lotion, and his touch was gentle as he ran his thumb across Lucien’s knuckles and traced the shape of his fingernails.

Lucien opened his mouth to say something else, but he forgot what it was when Tamlin’s lips brushed against his fingertips.

“I don’t think I could do this with anyone else,” Tamlin said softly, then met his gaze. “Just you.”

Lucien could feel his heartbeat in his fingertips, and he thought he could feel Tamlin’s, too. “Would it ruin the moment if I said: ‘Good’?”

Tamlin breathed a laugh. “No, because I know that’s the sort of thing you would say,” he murmured. “And I mean it. I like being with you.”

Feeling truly overwhelmed now, Lucien moved closer. “I like you, too,” he whispered, then kissed him. As Tamlin’s fingers slid into his hair, his lips parted beneath his, and their kisses deepened.

Tamlin’s breathing grew heavier as Lucien moved on top of him, and he gripped Lucien’s hair as he pulled his mouth free. “How do you say it?” he gasped. “What you said before?”

Lucien shook his head, dazed. “What?”

“In Scythian. ‘You’re amazing.’ How do you say it?”

Lucien was surprised to feel himself blush, despite the fact that they were lying on top of each other naked. When he managed to sift through his jumbled thoughts and recite the proper phrase in Scythian, he was surprised to see Tamlin shake his head.

“No, that wasn’t it.”

Lucien’s brows furrowed. “How do you know?”

“You used to practice on me all the time,” Tamlin said, loosening his grip on Lucien’s hair. He ran his fingers through the back of it and continued, “I don’t always understand it, but I can tell.”

Lucien swallowed hard as he looked down at Tamlin lying beneath him, waiting on him, trusting him as he tried to think of the right words. “Was it…” He blushed again as he repeated those secret words in Scythian: “…‘I love you’?”

“Yeah, that sounds right,” Tamlin whispered, then smiled. “Say it again.”

As Lucien repeated the phrase as though it was some kind of vocabulary lesson and not a heartfelt declaration, his voice quavered. It wasn’t some terrible secret, but it felt like a trick, nonetheless.

Yet, when Tamlin said it, repeating what he thought it meant: ‘You’re amazing,’, Lucien couldn’t help but wonder if it meant the same thing after all. Especially when Tamlin kissed him back and rolled with him in the center of the bed, repeating it over and over again.

I love you.

[areyoudreaminof]

Moon on a String: A Lucien Vanserra Playlist

Here it is! A playlist for our sly fox, courtier, and emissary. Apart from being one of the most interesting characters in ACOTAR, Lucien is one of the most emotionally well rounded ones. I wanted to explore his wit and charm, as well as his own grief and sorrow. As always, meet me behind the cut for a lyrical deep dive! Listen Along Here!

Son My Son-Milo Greene

Son, my son The weight is unique One by one The words are complete Your testing is calling And we are still falling For keeps

Your waltz like repeating Continues your dreaming In threes You will bury that hatchet with an olive branch Tied to your knee

Habibi-Tamino

And as the full star tries his best to make the white pearl shine Glances of a new day have arrived And though he’s not alone, he fears to never love another And leave his heart forever with her smile

Something died within a soul Left the eyes to rust And every time it is recalled It covers all in dust

Bad Bad News-Leon Bridges

Ain’t got no riches, ain’t got no money that runs long But I got a heart that’s strong and a love that’s tall Ain’t got no name, ain’t got no fancy education But I can see right through, a powdered face on a painted fool

They tell me I was born to lose But I made a good good thing out of bad bad news

Young Man in America-Anais Mitchell

Like the wind I make my moan, I howl in the canyon There's a hollow in my bones, makin' me cry and carry on Make the foam fly from my tongue, make me want what I want Another wayward son waitin' on oblivion Waitin' on the kingdom come to meet me in my sin Waitin' to be born again, mother, kiss me cheek and chin Mmm, a little medicine, mmm, and I shed my skin Mmm, and lemme climb back in the bed you made me in

Old Friend-Sea Wolf

But now we're getting older and we're growing up So now less action in the water and we know enough Stood up on the rooftop on a night so clear That the lights from the city just disappeared

I know you don't believe me When I believe in you I know it could get much easier If you want it to

Late Night-Foals

Now I'm the last cowboy in this town Empty veins and my plastic broken crown They said I swam the seas then ran aground They said I once was lost but now I'm truly found And I know the place but not the way I feel, I feel no shame Oh now, Mama, do you hear my fear? It's coming after me

Beggin' for Thread-BANKS

So I got edges that scratch And sometimes, I don't got a filter But I'm so tired of eating All of my misspoken words I know my disposition gets confusing My disproportionate reactions fuse with my eager state That’s why you wanna come out and play with me, yeah

Turn Away-Beck

Turn Turn away From the weight of your own words It's a measure For the devil And betrays the lack of change Once you have spoken Turn away

Sun-Cat Power

Here it comes, here it comes, in all is burning Here it comes, here it comes, it’s splitting the bone Here it comes, here it comes, we’re all so tired of waiting Whose side, whose side are you on

I wanna hear every answer to every question It’s not that I never wanted, I just never knew If you can, if you could lend your hand This is the day people like we’ve been waiting for

Gold-Chet Faker

I might as well be in a garden I said, uh, a smell in the air is a dripping rose (You can be the one for me) Another soul to be my void then Of anything there that's made of gold

Call Me in the Afternoon-Half Moon Run

Take one if you need it but you really shouldn't be out this late Really wanna make you feel home Take one if you need it but you really shouldn't get this fucked up Really wanna get it to you Slide another shot by and wipe your dirty hands on me Swallow till you go blind and find a little company

Autumn Tree-Milo Greene

A man that resembles me Watching his young lady sleep Now I'm off to dream Comfort me

Is this my old shame? My mind is away How long have you been gone? The cold winter aged the soft of your face And I can't move on

River-Ibeyi

Carry away my dead leaves Let me baptize my soul with the help of your waters Sink my pains and complains Let the river take them, river drown them My ego and my blame Let me baptize my soul with the help of your waters Those old mes, so ashamed Let the river take them, river drown them

You Wanna Freak Out-My Morning Jacket

Play it smart, soul intact How you react is what you get back 'Cause that's the way we really see I am "you're" and "you're" is me Come on, you know how we are First we're up, up, down, down One day we're in, the next one we're out You wanna freak out? Come on

Don't Carry It All-The Decemberists

And there a wreath of trillium and ivy Laid upon the body of a boy Lazy will the loam come from its hiding Return this quiet searcher to the soil

So raise a glass to turnings of the season And watch it as it arcs towards the sun And you must bear your neighbor's burden within reason And your labors will be borne when all is done

No One's Here to Sleep-Naughty Boy/Bastille

You were always faster than me I'll never catch up with you, with you Oh I can feel them coming for me And you were always faster than me I'll never catch up with you, with you Oh I can feel them coming for me

Here's the pride before the fall Oh, your eyes, they show it all I can see it coming I can see it coming As I rise up through each floor Shit gets dark and you lose it all I can hear it coming I can hear the drumming

taglist: @cursebrkr, @octobers-veryown, @melting-houses-of-gold, @velidewrites, @reverie-tales, @thesistersarcheron @ultadverb, @c-e-d-dreamer, @andrigyn, @foundress0fnothing, @vulpes-fennec ,@asnowfern,@mossytrashcan, @thelovelymadone, @the-lonelybarricade, @shadowriel, @separatist-apologist , @fieldofdaisiies, @stickyelectrons, @vanserrass, @panicatthenightcourt, @krem-does-stuff, @iftheshoef1tz, @damedechance, @ablogofbipanic

Up Next: Rhysand. Happy Weekend!

[wintered-debtz]

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