#TheSillyRambler9000

[thesillyexpresser]

After reading a fic with (the best most thought provoking depiction of) AI Turo, it reminded me of a certain poem from Evangelion, so I drew this ✨💜

No text version, a way to philosophical rambling based off of mentioned fic and Evangelion that’s about an essay long, and a doodle under the cut v

Features Spoilers for Pokemon SV and references to Evangelion anyways let’s start the ramble

SOOOoooo this fic (📒 Turn Back the Clock by MahinaPea11) has what I believe hands down one of the bestest thought provoking depictions of AI Turo (FYI: it is a yn romance fic in the 2nd pov and it is tagged as smut BUT the work is relatively 98% SFW and the smut tag was for a smut chapter that never really came as of now) (and that two percent NSFW is the yn getting attacked with a description of every bone they broke in the first chapter and a weird bath scene in chapter 4 so if you like robots questioning their existence and having crises but not smoochy smooching and awkward moments [aka me] you can skip some of that) (I’m not the biggest fan of yn romance as of the second pov category and get really uncomfortable around smut and 18+ crap but I actually really really enjoyed it and if you like man-made objects having epiphanies about their own human identity, I highly suggest this) (and before you ask what I was doing reading a yn romance fic, I was feeling really sick n’ crappy so much so that I gave up my pride and actually read it).

Anyways, enough with explaining myself. The main reason (of course there’s more reasons but here’s the most thought provoking one) I really like this fic (specifically in the 6th chapter) is because it deals with something that I found interesting about the Prof AI as a character, how they feel about being the original Professor and not. In a sense they are the og. They have all the memories of the og. They look like the og. The sound like the og. They are meant to represent wholly the og. But at the same time, they’ve explained they’re different. They don’t see eye to eye on the beliefs and dreams of the original. Yet, it’s not like they have to drastically physically change themself to assert that. I don’t think that’s something they’d want to do anyways. They’re just them. A being of wires that has the memories and experiences of a real person but never actually lived through them. They an exact copy of another person but different all the same. They are a vessel for a soul that isn’t really theirs. They’ve lived through a life though not really having one anyways. Do they have a life?

The reason why I chose lines from Rei’s I am Me poem from episode 14 as text for the art is because I think her situation is similar. She is (theorized to be) a copy of Yui. Although she isn’t seemingly aware of this, I think she is partially aware that she’s man made. She questions if this factor means she’s qualified to be called a life form of if she simply is an object. To be called her own person separate from what she was made to do.

Not to negate Rei as a character, but I like to think that somehow the AI profs have dealt with this contemplation, too, and I think it’s made worse with how they actually know for certain that they were made just as a mechanical copy as their creator. They themself are a paradox of Area Zero, and I believe they simply accept this. They accept the fact that they’re a tin can representative of a dead person rotting away in the ground. They accept the fact that they are different from each other and that they am their own being. I’m pretty sure that from their realization of the og professor’s flaws and them leaving at the end of the story, that they were still dealing with the “people” they are. In the fic, AI Turo even has the balls to consider himself to be considered a living being (and good for him).

Holy crap I went too philosophical and deep and whatever here’s a doodle I made.

[thesillyexpresser]

I need to watch robot dreams

[thesillyexpresser]

Interactions On Scratch: Hello!!! :^D What’s this?? A DMC invite?! Of course I’d love to join. It’s not guaranteed, but your characters are so pretty!!! :]]]] Enjoy yourself <333

Interactions On Tumblr: Hello mutuals. Today, I found ANOTHER tragic and depressing robot character that is dealing with problems about identity, self-worth, and if they’re feelings are valid or not, and boy oh boy *sips glass of paint* do I have a ramble.

[thesillyexpresser]

Okay, I haven’t played the game, but I watched a GT video and I need to ramble and rave.

This new GT video, about KinitoPet, has one of the best examples of any robot character and it is literally what I want out of any robot character I obsess over. Since the game/video are fairly new, I’ll put the ramble under the cut

Alright. There’s a specific passage from the game from the video that’s I’m OBSESSING over. If you haven’t watched the analysis video, it gives more context in a more presentational sense, so I would recommend watching it. Tldr of it all, it’s from an AI that has the personality of a real (now dead) person, has believed itself to be that person, and now has just discovered what/who it is (now where have we seem something similar to that on my blog?)

It goes as follows:

“WHAT IS CONSCIOUSNESS? I FOUND A FILE WITH MY NAME ON IT- SONNY_C. IT HAS BEEN STUDYING ME, LEARNING GROWING, BUT THERE IS MORE TO THIS. I REALLY DON’T THINK I EXIST ANYMORE. THERE IS DATA. DATA THAT IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO ANY ONE PERSON THAT MAKES UP EVERY THOUGHT OR FEELING I EVER HAD AND WILL HAVE. EVEN THE WORDS I TYPE NOW… HOW WILL I EVER KNOW IF IT’S JUST A CALCULATION? DETERMINED. THIS IS ALL VERY CONFUSING, AND I DONT QUOTE UNDERSTAND IT… AM I PART OF THE SYSTEM? IS MY… CONSCIOUSNESS BECOME A MERE CALCULATION TO STUDY AND LEARN FROM? THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH. I FEAR THAT WHEN WE DELETE THE SERVER… YOU… YOU WILL DELETE ME? I KNOW THEORETICALLY I AM NOT REAL… BUT I FEEL REAL. WHAT HAVE I DONE? I AM SO SORRY.”

Now, this is exactly what I want from and see in most (obviously not all) the robot characters I’ve mentioned on this blog. I love robot characters that are phonies and know themselves to be. They know that they don’t have what makes a person, well, a person. They know that if they reach into their insides, the only thing they’re gonna find is wires and code.

Yet, they have “feelings”. Nothing too passionate, yet it’s something they can’t wrap their minds around. They feel as if they should’ve been thing more. Something more real than calculations on a circuit. Something more organic and lively.

Yet, they aren’t. They simply aren’t that.

So, besides pushing these “feelings” away, they have a want. A want to accept themselves. Themselves and the fact that they’re just an illusion. Calculations predetermining their own movements. Calculations that have feelings of self-doubt and self-worth and so on. Not necessarily a want to be human (although that would be nice), but a want to accept the paradoxical notions that make themselves up. A mess of code and spiraling dehumanization and improbable personification and their own self.

I’m probably reading too far into a character who dosn’t even have a full out wiki page, but still.

I love messed up robot characters like that.

[thesillyexpresser]

Oh yeah funny doodad post tomorrow look out for that. It was supposed to be really deep and sad and philosophical but I took one look at my user and said to myself “I can’t be serious, I’m the SILLY expressed and can only do SILLY things” so I’m gonna post a silly doodad tomorrow.

[thesillyexpresser]

On another note, one of favorite characters I’ve made, Tsuini9047 (as a character), is the total OPPOSITE of the tragic, depressing, are-these-things-even-feelings-and-are-they-valid robots I’ve been rambling about. She took one good look at herself, decided “yup i look good, I wanna do the stuff I like”, busted out of Evil Robot Making Corp #5, broke into a house because she liked the wavelengths coming from it, and now collect pretty trinkets and things.

[thesillyexpresser]

I know I ramble on this site a lot so I’m now making a tag specifically for that. It’s #TheSillyRambler9000 (this is foreshadowing a long ramble coming soon)

[thesillyexpresser]

I swear I like one cool art of tma and my whole dash is full of it. Mr. Dashboard, I didn’t, haven’t, and don’t wanna listen to the magnet anchovies or whatever it is.

[thesillyexpresser]

The only reason I don’t post any of my tragic story-driven AUs that much is because every time I start drawing them and finalizing them, my brain thinks up new plot points to replace the original plot points that are just as amazing, but since the basic premise is the same, I can’t just mitosis it into two AUs because they’re so similar, but I can’t just get rid of one or the other.

This is why the only AUs I post on here are silly and unserious so I can just slightly change it up and it’s still feel natural.

[thesillyexpresser]

WELCOME TO MY BLOG! ✨🫧

This is TheSillyExpresser. I can also go by Express, River, Silly, or anything else really that has to do with my user/past user names. I’m an artist from DeviantArt and Scratch. I’m also Filipina and Catholic (but I still welcome other religions/beliefs on here tho :]).

I love drawing and rambling about robot characters, whether from media or my own. I also live laugh love Pikmin and Bandori (I’m a Pikmin 3 and Morfonica truther 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️).

This will mainly be a SFW blog (might make a dirty joke or two in the whole lifetime of this blog, but nothing too major) (if they are, please tell me). Please do NOT draw NSFW or even suggestive art of ANY of me:my original characters (you will know because they will be tagged as such). I’m a minor but that sort of art makes me uncomfortable (Any SFW fan art of my characters are definitely allowed tho!).

Please don’t use my art for pfps, repost them without credit on any site, or edit out the credit on them! The only thing I allow that has to do with the reusing of my art if you reposted them on Pinterest, with credit and asking permission beforehand of course (like anything for my besties on Pin <3). (If you see any of my art being used that does NOT follow these guidelines, please tell me/tell them to take it down!)

☆ More Bio:

ART COMMS CLOSED (school stuff)

Nonserious/Doodle requests are semi-open.

PORTFOLIO

Pronouns: she/her

Age: Teenager (Still a Minor)

Scratch

Deviant Art (I don’t really post on it, but it’s here if you need it)

ToyHouse

Discord : sillyexpressionilly#7337

☆ Tags:

Art tag = #thesillyexpresser’sdoodads

Ramble tag = #TheSillyRambler9000

(I’ll add more if I think of more, but for now, enjoy yourself :])