#There was also this other fic idea I had for Alice!Seb but it never saw the light of day

[eden-regained]

If you think my Hunger Games fanfic from back then was odd wait till you hear about that time I made Murdoc go to Wonderland (no, he didn’t wear a dress but upon retrospect I should’ve given him one tbh)

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Thirteen: Keep It Together

Summary: More changes come for Sebastian and his girls.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 2405 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Implied smut, child custody issues.   Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat.

Series Masterlist

The car ride to the Hills’ house was tense; with an important, unfinished conversation behind them and another unknown in front of them, both Sebastian and Y/N were on the defensive. So much had happened in such a short time, they both felt as though it was only a matter of who would break first. 

“That car wasn’t here when we dropped her off,” Y/N noted, getting out of the car. She met Sebastian at the front and held tight to his hand — more for her own comfort, she had to admit, than for his. 

He said nothing, only walked with her up to the front door and rang the bell. Alice was there before the chimes finished, concern etched into her features. 

“I didn’t know,” was the first thing she said, welcoming them in, but no further than the foyer. “I’m so sorry — Conor stopped by unexpectedly. Tim tried to just visit with him here on the porch, but his thinking still isn’t so quick and when Conor asked what I was doing …”

“And Conor wanted to see her,” Sebastian surmised. “Is he with her now?”

Alice nodded. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell him no without upsetting the whole situation and Tim and Milena.”

“It’s not your fault — what else were you supposed to do?” Sebastian squeezed her shoulder. “Where are they now?”

“In the den, watching cartoons.”

Sebastian dropped Y/N’s hand and stalked towards the den. She and Alice were hot on his heels though, concern and fear racing through them at the stern set of Sebastian’s jaw and the dark shade of blue his eyes had taken on. 

In the den, Milena was curled up in Tim’s lap, watching cartoons. She was stealing glances at Conor, as though waiting for him to make any kind of sudden movement. Sebastian stopped at the entryway and took a deep breath to calm his demeanor before Milena saw him. 

“Hey, munchkin,” he greeted with a smile. “Ready to go home?”

Y/N breathed a momentary sigh of relief when she reached Sebastian’s side and saw the smile on his face; even if it was only for Milena’s benefit, it eased her nerves, too. 

“Uncle Seb!” Milena exclaimed, scrambling down from Tim’s lap and racing toward her uncle. She wrapped her arms around his legs and looked up at Y/N. “We going home now?”

Y/N picked her up and nodded. “Yes, princess, we’re going home. Where are your shoes?”

“I have them in my room,” Alice answered. “Come on, Milena, let’s show Y/N where they are.”

The women left the room, and only then did Conor rise from the couch to shake hands with Sebastian. The latter man returned to his closed off, cold expression. 

“I’ll leave you gentlemen to talk,” Tim excused himself. Conor helped his dad up from the chair, and then Tim was out of the room, leaning on the walker for support. 

Sebastian kept his eyes on Conor the whole time. “You cannot be around her. If I have to have that put in the court papers too, I will. I know you’ve hit some low points, but putting your parents in this situation? Especially after everything they’ve been dealing with since your dad’s stroke?”

“She’s my daughter,” Conor returned. 

“Not according to the papers you signed saying you didn’t want her,” Sebastian reminded. “She’s ours. Y/N and I will raise her, my parents and your parents will help and will see her as often as they’d like. You will never be a part of that.”

Sebastian turned to go, but Conor grabbed for his arm. Sebastian turned back, looked down at the grip on his arm, then back at Conor. That man put his hands up in surrender and took a step back. 

“I’m sorry, but this conversation isn’t over,” Conor explained. “I was wrong to sign my rights away. I’ve seen her grow up through pictures up until now, but Irina would never hear of anything different.”

“And why should she have?” Sebastian countered. “You didn’t want Milena! You made that clear months before she was even born.  I was there. My parents, your parents were there. My wife has been there more for Milena since Irina died than you have in her entire life. Where have you been when she cries for Irina? Where have you been when her tummy aches for no reason at all? Where have you been when she’s crying and screaming for hours at night? Nowhere. You haven’t been around at all. Now you see her for the first time in her life and you think you want things to change? You have no idea who Milena is, what her needs are.” He shook his head. “You can say whatever you want, man, but I’m not going to up-end her world any more than what’s already been done out of my control.”

Conor set his jaw. “We’ll see what the courts have to say about that.”

Sebastian snorted. “Yeah, go ahead and get the courts involved. You’re not going to win. Milena is ours, Conor. She will never be yours.”

With that, Sebastian picked up Milena’s jacket from the back of the couch and went in search of his wife and niece. 

“How many days till my bir’day?” 

Sebastian smiled and mentally counted the days. “Let’s see, we just finished Halloween, you birthday is the first day of December … about twenty-seven.”

“That’s so many,” Milena whined. 

Y/N smiled from the counter where she was kneading bread dough. Sebastian and Milena were ‘helping’ from the other side of the island — which really meant Milena was playing with Play-Doh and Sebastian was supervising to see that none of the play stuff got in with the actual dough. 

“It’ll be here before you know it,” Y/N assured, measuring out some cinnamon and sugar to fold into the dough. “What kind of party should we have? Oh, let me guess — princesses!”

But Milena wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No! I want puppies!”

The adults laughed at the squeal of excitement that followed the mention of puppies. A shared glance when Milena went back to her Play-Doh told Y/N that Sebastian was thinking exactly the same as she was: it was time to talk about getting a pet in the house. 

“I mean, we have all this land,” Sebastian began after putting Milena down for an afternoon nap, “seems silly not to have some little creature running around to keep Milena busy.”

“Little creature,” Y/N chuckled, setting the timer for the bread to bake. “Well, we can start looking, but if we want it for her birthday, we shouldn’t look for too long. I’ll get with your mom and Alice and see what we can all put together. Not that you and Tim wouldn’t wanna help but …”

“But it’s probably better we don’t,” he laughed. “I get it.”

She flashed him a winning smile before going to the sink to work on the dishes and Sebastian’s heart beat faster. Since the day Conor had shown up, they hadn’t resumed their conversation, having agreed there was too much going on at the moment to deal with anything else. Milena needed stability and calm, and they couldn’t offer that to her with Conor’s legal threats, the night terrors, and grieving her mother already on their plates. 

Today, however, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. The house was warm and smelled of autumn, thanks to the candles Y/N had lit throughout the place. With his two girls there in good spirits, he finally felt like the place was home. She was singing along softly to the music playing from her phone as she rinsed out the dishes and loaded the washer. Her oversized sweatshirt — one he was sure had actually come from his collection — with the sleeves rolled up and her form-fitting cotton leggings had his eye all day as possibly the most adorable outfit he had ever seen her wear. It seemed a shame that he hadn’t kissed her in so many days. 

She drew in a sharp breath when his hands landed on her shoulders, then giggled when she realized he was behind her. His lips pressed to the top of her head; she leaned back into him. 

“You smell extra good today,” she told him softly. 

Sebastian smiled. “I’m glad you think so. I know we have a lot of things unfinished and undecided between us, Y/N/N, but today feels so much like home. You are home to me. You’ll have to forgive me if I needed to be a little closer to you for it.”

Turning in his arms, Y/N shook her head. “Nothing to forgive.”

He smiled and dipped his head down to kiss her. Shivers raced over his spine when her hands, chilly from rinsing dishes, brushed over the back of his neck. She responded to his kiss eagerly, making Sebastian wish he had pushed closer to her sooner. As the kiss continued, he lifted her onto the counter and pushed between her legs so that he could be as close to her as possible. 

“I suppose,” Y/N told him between kisses, “there is one piece of unfinished business we could get on with — at least one.”

Sebastian raised a brow. “At least one?”

She nodded then returned to their kiss. Sebastian picked her up and carried her bridal style to their bedroom. He was sure of one thing they could finish, but what else was there? It had him slightly distracted as he moved over her on the bed. His kisses softened as he settled on top of her, balancing his weight on his elbows. 

“You’re sure about this? There’s more discussion for us to have, you know,” Sebastian reminded her in almost a whisper. 

Y/N drew in a deep breath and caressed his face. “I love you, Sebastian. I want this life with you. Do you think you want this life with me?”

“No,” he answered, pushing her hair away from her face, “I know that I want this life with you. I love you, Bright Eyes.”

Her grin was as big as he had ever seen it. He leaned to kiss her again, his hand going under that oversized sweatshirt, his heart reveling in the certainty of their love for one another. 

The blow came a few days later. Philip called so early in the morning, Milena was still asleep, and Y/N and Sebastian were only awake because she had a flight to Los Angeles for a talk show interview the next day. 

“I almost forgot in all of this that I am actually an actress,” she chuckled over her coffee. 

Sebastian smiled back at her, his heart not yet ready to let her be across the country, even it was only for a quick trip. “Too bad we can’t stay inside our cozy little bubble here.”

“Mmm, agreed.”

The phone rang then; Sebastian frowned at Philip’s name on the caller ID at that hour. He slid his thumb across the screen and answered with measured concern in his voice. 

“You’re on speaker, Y/N is here with me,” he added, pressing the appropriate option on the screen. 

“Good morning,” Philip sighed, “and also my apologies for starting your day this way. I don’t know how he managed it, but Conor has gotten a judge to rule for him to a mandated week with Milena in his care, to see how things go.”

“He can’t do that! He signed his rights away!” Y/N exclaimed. Tears immediately filled her eyes. 

Philip sighed. “I know that, but this is complex situation. He’s her biological parent, her mother has passed away. I’ve never dealt with this judge before, but apparently she’s got a soft spot for fathers who are doing their best to be fathers.”

Y/N opened her mouth again, but Sebastian stopped her. “What does this mean?”

“Child and Family Services will be coming to get her later this morning. Pack her enough for a couple of days, but Conor has been told he needs to provide for her during this week, as well. Apparently he’s got a live-in girlfriend who he’s been with for a while, and she’ll be there to help him.” 

Sebastian was near speechless. “We can’t fight this?”

“It all happened really quickly — I wasn’t even notified until it was on paper and signed off, or bet your ass I would have fought it. I know before I said we wouldn’t need it, but it would have been much better at this point to have Irina’s wishes on paper.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not helpful. The best I can tell you right now is prepare Milena for what’s going to happen. Tell her it isn’t permanent as far as you know, tell her that you’re going to bring her back home just as soon as you can, but also don’t speak poorly of Conor. After a week, CFS will bring her back to you.”

“I’ve got to cancel my flight,” Y/N said, already on her own phone to call her assistant. Sebastian gently took the device from her, motioning for her to wait. 

“All right, Phil, thanks for letting us know. If anything else comes up — just let us know what we can do to keep her.”

Philip promised that he would, then the men disconnected the call. Sebastian turned to Y/N. 

“I don’t want you canceling that interview,” he told her. “As much as I know you want to be here, I’m not ready for the media to get a hold of this. As soon as you cancel something, they’re going to start speculating and digging. I can’t have that, not yet. You can’t help here, anyway.”

She sniffled. “But I want to be here for you.”

“I know, and I do want you here with me, but to protect ourselves and our privacy for right now, we’re going to have to support each other from a distance for a couple of days.” He kissed her head. “Besides, if they go to Conor, I get the feeling the pseudo-fame will only fuel his purpose.”

Y/N stood to wrap her arms around his neck. Sebastian held her just as tight, praying as they held each other that the little family they were working so hard to stabilized wouldn’t be permanently torn apart by this development. 

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