#This is part of my work I'm doing for my portfolio I'm so glad at least I still get to draw what I actually enjoy for it

[dollya-robinprotector]

"Hey Senpai, why are you crying? Let's do that ♪ Un, deux, trois ♪ together Role-play? Then which one would you prefer? Odette or Odile?"

The continuation from This certain Dance-post, this time with fem school LIs being Balleriko

And the sketch. I just came up with general poses before actually assigning which pose to which character. But hey, it sorta came out with a story, so why don't you tell me what you see?

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.8. IF YOU'RE WILLING TO LISTEN

"home and i know, it's always different. i'm the one in love."

from genesis by grimes, left at osaka university, osaka

she’s slipping her phone into her pocket right as she sees them approaching. she smiles, waving excitedly towards both of them. omi is a few strides behind him but she sees them both return the gesture. 

“sorry we’re late,” suna says as they both approach, paper bags in hand. “we got held up buying you these.”

her breath catches in her throat when he pulls out a bundle of tulips wrapped in parchment paper from the bag and she gives him a hug in thanks, trying not to linger or overthink the contact. “don’t worry about it at all, we just opened like eight minutes ago so you guys aren’t late, and this totally makes up for it anyway. thank you so much, suna– rin.”

he smiles when she corrects herself. omi steps forward and reveals his own bouquet which she receives with thanks and hugs him as well, “congratulations. it looks like everything turned out well. how do you feel about it?”

there had been some portfolios she’d slaved over and still not been happy with the end result no matter what anyone told her, and he had been there in high school, staying awake late into the night, listening to her rant about it. “i like this one. a lot,” she answered truthfully. “and i hope you do, too. thank you for asking and coming tonight, omi! you’ve been my number one supporter since high school.”

she can see his smile through his mask and smiles just as wide when he ruffled her hair. “thank you for letting me support you. i’m glad i’ve been here since day one. you deserve this–all of this. remember me when you get famous.”

she laughs at his words, repositioning the flowers in her arms, “i should be saying that to you! you’re the upcoming professional volleyball player here.” he only scoffs at her, trying to keep humble but there’s no denying it. “i’m gonna put these flowers somewhere safe. in the meantime, you guys can wander around if you want. everything’s on the wall and kenma and akaashi’s exhibits are to the left if you want to check them out as well!”

omi nods and walks off and suna gives her another look before following after him. she's giving them time to look at her art before she comes back. she wants them to interpret the photos themselves, without anyone looking over their shoulders, telling them how to feel.

but this is suna’s first exhibit, and she can’t blame him for looking a little lost. all of her shows last year had lined up with days he had games and he’d been unable to come to any of them. he had always apologized for it but it never bothered her. if anything, she felt a little nervous now, letting him see such a raw side of her through her photos.

but at the same time, she didn’t really mind when it came to him. they had had intimate conversations before; he had even spent the end of last year with her when she was all alone at her apartment. he had assured her that he wouldn’t think any differently of her no matter what he saw, and she hoped that was true. she hoped that even if he saw the worst parts of her, he would still stick around.

she placed the flowers by her bag at a table she was sharing with akaashi and kenma. they had all dumped their things there to claim it as their own and had relaxed there for a little bit before the gallery had opened. akaashi was there now as well, screwing off the lid of a bottle.

“how’s it going?” she asked, making sure the flowers were stable and wouldn’t fall off the table.

“good,” he responded simply. “more people than i expected showed up, to be honest. but they seem to be liking everything a lot. is it going well for you?”

“of course they like everything! anyone who says they don’t like your work is lying,” she laughed and looked up at him. he only smiled and shook his head in response. “it’s been good for me, too. suna and omi just got here so they’ll probably come visit you soon.”

“good to know. i’m sure i’ll see sakusa, but not so much suna,” akaashi says, putting down his bottle.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” she raises her brows, unsure of what to make of his statement.

“he only came for you, i’d be surprised if he even left your side tonight,” he answers with a teasing grin.

she sighs, her face reflexively warming at the thought, “oh please. he’s still your guys’ friend too. i’m sure he’ll come by. and it’s not like he’s gonna stay for the whole three hours.”

“you’d be surprised what a person would do for someone they love,” akaashi says and then shrugs when she looks up at him in shock, as if he’s just said something completely normal. “didn’t you tell me you used to make him food for basically every game you went to for him? didn’t you take pictures for inarizaki just to be around him? well now he’s all the way here in the arts building to see you and i have to get back to my stand. bokuto’s waiting for me. i’m sure suna’s waiting for you, too.”

he leaves her after that, and she’s left staring at the flowers suna brought her. she can’t get akaashi’s words out of her head, and her heart won’t calm down. she tries to take a breath before walking back to her wall.

she sees omi just as she returns, and he gives her a nod, which roughly translates to he’ll talk to her later, but he glances back at suna and she knows he’s purposefully leaving them alone.

she comes up from behind, moving to stand beside him and follows his eyes to see the picture he’s looking at. it’s her favorite one of the bunch, the one she had posted last on her twitter, saving the best for last. she hadn’t even taken it recently, it was a picture from nearly a year ago that she had been saving for the right time. “what do you think?” she asks with a playful smile. “this is your first time seeing this side of my photography, right?”

he turns to face her, but his eyes stay staring at the photo for a second longer as if he can’t look away. “it’s stunning. i mean– i feel like i don’t even know what’s right to say, sorry,” he breaks eye contact with her to look down towards the floor and her laugh brings his attention back to her.

“you don’t have to apologize for complimenting me. there’s no right way to say it, but hearing those words from you means a lot. thank you, suna,” she tells him, trying to keep her tone friendly. if he wanted to question her words, he could, but she wasn’t brave enough to outright tell him anything.

“rin,” he corrects. when she looks at him, frowning in confusion, he clarifies, “you called me suna.”

“oh, right. sorry,” she apologizes sheepishly, and it’s her turn to look away. it feels too intimate to call him the name and it nearly gets caught in her throat everytime, but he keeps urging her to call him it and she doesn’t know what to make of that. “any questions you have about any of the pieces? you know how i am, i can go on for hours about anything photography related.”

he turns back to the work she initially found him looking at, “no. i mean, i think all of your pictures were great, and the titles really hit. isn’t finding a meaning for yourself part of the fun? haven’t you said that before?” she nods at his question, mumbling a small thank you. “i think if anything, i’m just confused by this one. it’s– it’s us. we took this picture together. last year. but you said the theme of this group is ‘home’ so it’s the only one i can’t figure out. how is this home?”

“oh,” she says, her mouth working faster than her mind. “that’s easy, well i guess for me–” even when he turns to look back at her, sharp yellow eyes looking into her own, it doesn’t stop her from saying the next few words. “it’s here because to me, you are home. all of the other pictures are mainly centered around childhood homes but the night we took that picture is when i really realized i had found a new home. a new place to belong.”

when he doesn’t respond, the realization of what she just said kicks in and she breaks eye contact, her stomach turning as she plays with her fingers nervously. “oh god– sorry. that probably sounded really weird. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or be sappy–”

“y/n,” he cuts her off, the knuckles of one of his fingers under her chin gently guiding her face up back to look at him before he seems to realize what he’s doing and drops his hand back to the side of his hip. “it wasn't sappy. i just didn’t expect you to say that,” he explains with a small smile, and this time she can’t look away. she feels like she’s only being pulled in farther to him. “can i ask you about the other pictures, too? i just want to know how you see them.”

“of course, i mean– if you’re willing to listen. just tell me to stop if you get bored,” she already feels like she’s rambling and she hasn’t even started talking. finally, she tears away her eyes to look at her own photos, deciding on which one to talk about first.

but he's still looking at her. there's nowhere else he wants to look; even in front of her own work, nothing is more beautiful than her.

“i’m willing. i’ll listen to all of it.”

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

suna thought it'd be funny when he was buying flowers with omi to be like "oh man these are kind of expensive and i'm broke. you think you can pay for mine too?"

omi just looked at him asking, "is she not worth everything to you? is she not worth the money to buy flowers for?"

suna immediately dropped the joke

NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE A SORT OF FLASHBACK ! i'll make that clear there as well but just so we're all on the same page <3

one more chapter of slight hurt/comfort and then we're silly again!!!

kenma continued to have a stare off with a girl across from him and would get all snarky whenever someone came to his display and not hers LMAO

hopefully the images i chose for y/n's exhibit are okay :) i had a theme going for them and they feel a little mismatched but to me every single one of them is important

omi hung out with akaashi and bokuto and then kenma before leaving. he texted y/n later about his thoughts and how well she did but he left to give suna and y/n time to themselves :)

suna stayed with her until closing

she didn't even realize how fast time was going. a lot of other people came to look at her pictures as well and many stayed to listen while she was explaining her thoughts behind each photo to suna

a lot of things went unsaid that night. suna wanted to say he felt the same way after y/n explained the picture of them together but thought that was too much

thank u guys as always for reading <3

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @froyaoya @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @cr4yolaas @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta

[princeoferror]

Ashei x Shad

Any other Shad x ashei shippers out there?!

Commission info | Buy a Print! | portfolio | twitter | insta | Discord server

Progress pics below!

Sketch:

Oki so first up I found a reference I liked off Pinterest which had some interesting vibes I wanted in my piece. While drawing the two in these poses I realized just how many oocca faces Shad has on his design, it's actually awful. Shad I love you but this is disturbing.

Line art:

For the line art Ive tried adding more detail here just as I'm still playing around with what I want my art style to be. I think this part turned out rly well, I got the line weights down nice and the details really work.

Flats:

The flat colours do look a bit strange on their own, if I was planning to leave this piece at this stage I would move the colours over to be warme. I planned to do a lot with the rendering so it's not an issue here.

Finished render:

I didn't initially plan to return to my more painterly style, I was going to cel shade it like the pieces in my recent posts, but I'm so glad I randomly decide to. The high contrast of shadow, especially the cast shadow Ashei is making, really adds some depth I think my art hasn't had for a while. The details of the brush strokes add more visual interest to the piece and can imply more form than just flat cel shadows. The background also turned out really nicely being lineless I think that helped to not steal any attention with unnecessary line art.

This is my new favorite piece I think this shows some really nice progress in my artistic journey. I can't wait to immediately use this style for putting master kohga in a banana dress but unfortunately you will have to wait til next Saturday for that so make sure you're following as to not miss it.

Thank you so much for reading if you did! If you'd like to buy this as a print it'll be up on my inprnt, I also have commissions open if that's something you're interested in

Oki bye!

[that-student-that-has-homework]

Heyy, I’ve been reading your wonderful one piece works for a while — and I couldn’t stop wondering how are you actually doing those magnificent headers?

Like… hello? The great quality, with additional 3D-alike details I could catch by my eyes? I got only Ibis Paint X on mobile, since I’m only a young man that literally two months ago went on a life-time ‘adventure’ of living alone in a small apartment.

In short — I got no money to pay for additional graphics/drawing programs, not yet at least

Hello!

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my writing - I'm curious to know what's your favorite piece / part? Also I'm so happy you like my headers? Makes it feel worth it to spend time on them! :D

I have excellent news for you, I used a mix of Canva and Photopea. They're both FREE!

I'll be explaining the process for making these two kinda? The full tutorial is below the cut, to be courteous to the other folks, hope you don't mind?

Though I am hearing that Canva has given people some grief. But Photopea is just *chefs kiss*

If you've ever used photoshop, Photopea is essentially a free photoshop, and it even has the automation tools! An absolute lifesaver when you have multiple layers you want to export (but that's for larger projects not this)

I'm going to assume you have basic knowledge of layers in digital drawing programs for this. If anything isn't clear: ask me, I'll clarify!

//-------------------------------------------------

My General Process is:

Search for official art / images

bring it into canva / photopea

crop / arrange images to match the dimensions

select a thematic color that is associated with the character

separate the foreground from the background

mess around and test things until they work

//--------------------------------------------------

Given "Louder than Words" is the latest one I've made, I'll start with the process for it.

Dimensions: 3000 x 1055 px dpi: 96

//-------------------------------------------

Let's Get Crackin'

Alright let's grab some official art so we're not using any fanart without the artist's permission

I try to pick images that feel relevant enough to what I'm trying to make. For example: the image for the Matching banner shows the ASCE tattoo which is super important in that fic

2. Let's arrange them onto a banner where each individual image has the same/similar dimensions to the rest

That's probably part of why you like these. To a certain extent they have similar dimensions, so they have a uniformity that's pleasing to the eye! (It's not perfect because I threw perfectionism to the wind because this is tumblr not my portfolio) Tip: if you have 3 images and only 2 that have similar dimensions, and the 3rd one can't be cropped logically: but the one that's a different aspect ratio in the middle!

3. lets arrange them in such a way that the borders all feel like they're the same/equal width/thickness

you might find that you have to shrink some images for this, that's fine.

ALTERNATIVELY: if you're going with one image crop it so it's just the relevant info and it matches the dimensions (3000 x 1055 px)

We have our base! Now let's add some color, and direct the viewer's eye together!

4. pick out a color that you think matches your character / vibe - that color is going to be your background Given I'm making an Ace banner: orange is the color I'm going with

I went and named my layers for this lol. The numbers represent the opacity, and they aren't important. I just kept changing the opacity until I liked the way things looks. But here's the secret to the 3D feel:

Motionblur (+ moving it about)

Separating the foreground and background and dulling out the background.

I'm going to show you my process so you can see the effects, but first let's give you some quick skills:

//------------------------------------

SKILLS / THINGS I THINK ARE HELPFUL

//------- Select Similar

magic wand -> select something -> right-click -> select similar This works best when you have high contrast images (like manga panels that are black and white). You can select the black or the white areas. Depending on what works better for you. TIP! Invert selections with ctrl + i Say you know that you want to select everything but Ace's face in the second panel. Select his face with the magic wand then ctrl + i, and that's the only thing NOT selected

TIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, please, please, duplicate your original image and work on the duplicate layer. This helps you SO much. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIP! Check your selection tolerance! This could be why too little, or too much is being selected.

//------- The Move Tool

Shortcut key: v While the move tool is active, you can nudge the stuff on whatever layer with your arrow keys Shift + arrow key = 10 px move (generally)

//------- Layer Locking

1- Layer Blending Mode (see Overlay vs Multiply vs Normal) for how this can affect results) 2- Opacity: how see through it is / isn't 3- Lock Transparency (it's the little checker board) 4- Lock Layer (looks like a lock) 5- Lock icon that appears when anything on the layer has been locked More on 3 Lock Transparency: You can only paint on / modify what's on that layer. You CANNOT add anything to any area that is already transparent Here's a demo of what you can do with this power:

Here's the original Image - notice how it's just the lineart with a transparent background.

It's powerful: abuse it

//------- Overlay vs Multiply vs Normal

I think seeing this is the best way to visualize how different modes can affect the color.

//--------------------------------

Back to the Tutorial

!!I IMPORTANT NOTE !!

Please play around with the opacity slider to figure out what opacity works best for you on the multiple different layers we're about to make / work with. It's up to your own style to figure this out. Next: please feel free to not follow all of it. Add more layers, add less layers, take the base principles and go wild! :D

5. Separate the lineart from the background and save it as a new layer 6. Duplicate it and set it to overlay, or set it to overlay immediately

7. Duplicate that lineart layer twice and set the blending mode to overlay 8. lock transparency on the top one and change it to be a dark grey 9. Apply motion blur to both:

Main menu bar -> Filter -> Motion Blur I made it so that the grey layer was blurrier than the black layer

10. More them around a little to give it a "3D effect" as you called it.

It creates shadows under the lines - I was aiming for an effect similar to chromatic aberration (chromatic aberration is a valid way to add punch to your stuff too!)

So this is what things look like now - painful, but let's keep going

11. Duplicate the ORIGINAL / BASE lineart layer, that you DID not apply motion blur to -> set the blend mode to multiply (reduce opacity for it to actually take effect)

okay that's less painful here's what the layers look like right now:

let's bring more focus to Ace's face, and push the background farther away:

12. Use the magic wand tool to quickly select large areas of the faces / focal area / foreground and the lasso tool to refine things

TIP! Hold shift + click -> add to selection Hold Alt + click -> subtract from selection

13. On a new layer with blending mode -> lighten, fill that selection to be white

If you look at it, you'll notice that it is ALREADY starting to draw our attention to his face, but the background is kinda aggressive, so let's dim that down

TIP! Right-click on the gradient tool to find the paint-bucket tool

TIP! Sample All Layers: Turning this option off makes it so that you only work with the content on THAT specific layer. Turning it on makes it so that it is working while taking all other layers into consideration.

14. ctrl + click on the "white foreground" layer to select the contents of that specific layer (pink thing is your mouse)

15. ctrl + i to invert selection and ON A NEW LAYER (layer mode -> multiply) fill that with a complementary color

16. I did one last thing where I took the original base (before we separated the lineart) and added it to the very top and played with the opacity to get something less in your face (layer blend mode was set to NORMAL)

And that's it!

More considerations that I take:

I want the banner to be "thin" or not square, so it doesn't take up too much screen real estate on people's devices

I don't want readers having to scroll too much to get to my writing (which is the whole point of the post, let's not waste their time making them look for things)

I want the banner content to be relevant enough?

ie: with Matching: I wanted the ASCE tattoo to be visible. With matching I wanted Ace to not look too happy in some of them.

I'm also trying to avoid spoilers, I hated getting things spoiled, so I'm trying to be careful that the images I pick don't spoil anything really.

Congrats on starting life on your own! I did that whole living by myself thing too! Tip: keep the pantry stocked with lentils, beans, pastas, baking essentials, rice. They really come in a clutch when you're hungry.

[japage3moondog]

Got to Get You into My Life! (paul mccartney x reader

[ gender neutral reader, bit of an age gap, i'm aiming for slow burn but will probably fail at it. reader is intended to be around 10 years younger than paul but age is not detrimental to plot. in this universe, paul and linda are not married and are just friends (no infidelity in this one). reader is a photographer, bit of an amateur. i'm not in lowercase for the first time lol. also posted to ao3]

part 1: With A Little Luck

part 2: So Glad To See You Here

Shock is not the right word to describe the way you feel. The words escape you entirely. You receive a phone call from a man about a job. You've been applying to places for a couple weeks now but you were sure your embellished resume and shaky composure in interviews had doomed your chances. Photography has been your main hobby since your senior year of high school but it's only recently become a viable career option.

Your portfolio was slightly smaller than the industry standard and full of pictures from live gigs you'd weaseled your way into being the photography for. Needless to say, any sort of job follow up is worthy of rejoice let alone a photography job. The process of capturing an image was so satisfying to you and much more appealing than some hospitality gig and you didn't want to fall into the sterotype of starving artist condemned to wait tables for the rest of time.

The man on the phone speaks quickly, almost incoherantly, spewing a string of details at a near impossible pace. His name is Allen Klein, he's calling to inquire about a position as a tour photographer for the band Wings' debut tour. You pause for too long, trying to hold back a squeal of excitement which he interprets as confusion. He recites his spiel once again. You agree enthusiastically before he can finish. He gives you the location of his office and a time so he can ask you a few questions and to do the official paperwork, if the interview is successful.

His office isn't too far away from your home but it's still unfamiliar territory. You scribble down the address, checking it with him three times before he gets fed up and gently tells you he'll see you soon. By the time he hangs up, your hands are shaking terribly, it felt so surreal. You knew who Wings were but not much beyond that Paul McCartney was in it and they had released their debut album the previous month. After you had applied, you promised yourself that you'd look more into them so you wouldn't look like a total poser but it had slipped your mind completely.

It wasn't the glamour of Wings that was so exciting to you, though you'd be lying if you said that the possibility of working with Paul McCartney didn't get you at least a little starstruck. You're a little scared that you'll mess up the interview and drop the ball on the most thrilling job opportunity of your entire life but you try to keep yourself calm enough to stay on your feet. Going on a tour across the country was similarly daunting but you did your best to keep your worrying focused on the now rather than the possible future.

In the days leading up to the meeting you had laid out and put away your photography equipment over and over in anticipation of the job. It wasn't much. A small portable Polaroid for more intimate souvenirs, then a standard 35mm digital camera and a tripod that was slightly too small.You triple-check the number Mr. Klein called you on was indeed belonging to an Allen Klein. You call friends and ask if you're going insane enough for them to start saying yes.

You were the most excited about meeting Linda, a fellow photographer and artist, who you're hoping will be charmed by your ambition rather than call out your faults. You were too young to experience the mania of the Beatles-dominated 60's to truly fangirl over Paul but you'd heard some of his songs on the radio and had enough of a grasp on his appearance to understand the hype. This awareness, however little, you vow to keep to yourself. The last thing your boss needs is another wannabe groupie.

When the day comes, you feel like all you can do is shake. The hours pass by much too quickly and you feel almost drained of air. The night before you had gotten almost no sleep. You spent your time, barely eating your breakfast and listening to the radio. Before you leave the house, you straighten up your outfit, brushing off any potential creases with a swift swipe of the hand. A motion pretty much entirely a placebo to your already ironed clothes.

The road to the building is a long and winding one. You wrote the directions on your wrist but your palms had gotten so sweaty that the ink had been turned into a black smear. You swear you're lost near fifty times before you finally reach his office. Allen Klein's office is nice, you're slightly dissappointed that you don't get to see it again, or at least until the end of the tour. It's spacious but still has a lived in feel. The band isn't present, something you are relieved to discover. He greets you and makes a little small talk, speaking a lot less hastily then over the phone.

"Please make yourself comfortable." He gestures to the seat in front of him. You sit down, almost falling onto his desk in the process.

"Thank you for having me." You say sheepishly. "Your office is lovely."

"Thank you." He smiles warmly, your nerves are not soothed. "Now, why did you apply for this position?"

"Well, I've always had a passion for photography and most of my work has had musicians as the subject so it felt fitting." You answer, hiding your fidgeting hands in your lap.

"This would be your first professional photography gig, correct?" He says, scanning your resume.

"Yes but I have plenty of experience in the field." You reply. He looks at you as if trying to sus you out, reasonable for a job interview but still a little unnerving.

"Have you heard of Wings before?" Mr. Klein inquires.

"In passing and on the radio, I think, but I don't know enough to call myself a fan." You say honestly. 

"What about The Beatles?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Of course, but I wouldn't consider myself anything more than a casual enjoyer." You reply. He seems pleased by your answer.

"Good, good," He says, seemingly to himself. "It's nice you at least know who they were. We just need to weed out the superfans who aren't serious about the position, Paul is particularly insistant on that. I was initially concerned because you fit the demographic."

"You'll be pleased to know my time is spent taking pictures and not listening to records." You smile. He chuckles and seems at ease.

"I'm happy to give you the opportunity to indulge your hobby." He says. "In a professional setting, of couse."

"Of course." You agree.

"Well, as long as your a fast learner, I think you'll get along well with the team." He holds out his hand for you to shake. You accept graciously. Once you let go he hands you the paperwork. He lets you read over the contract before signing. You carefully scan the document for any secret sex slave clauses and offer a nervous smile, waiting for him to give you the pen to sign. You do your best to maintain a steady hand as you sign your name but you can sense he sees your nervousness. Whether Mr. Klein does or doesn't, he keeps quiet about it, something you are very grateful for.

He tells you another time and place for you to meet the band and the rest of the crew that you jot down onto the back of your hand, making a mental note to keep it away from your palm sweat this time. He offers you one last sincere smile before a short goodbye which you return gratefully. You're a little scared about meeting the band, especially accidentally coming off as some crazy, obsessed fan but that fear is almost entirely swallowed but a massive wave of relief.

By the time you leave the office you feel like flying, you're shaking more than before from shock. The world could end at that moment and you would die fulfilled. Your dream was coming true and you get to work with one of the greatest rock bands of the coming decade. You could've sworn you were dreaming. 

[demonfuck]

thinking about making art that is patient

being the way that i am, this maybe kind of comes naturally to me

as a teen i found it interesting to make art with no audience in mind. as in, NO audience. it will sit on a server somewhere gathering dust

and it doesn't try to make you feel guilty for its isolation. it was never your responsibility to find it and interact with it and understand it. it's patient. it makes peace with itself

i'm happy with that process making it kind of timeless. there were never any references or details that demanded that it be read this week, or this year, or within this lifetime. i've always been fascinated by outsider art, including stuff that doesn't get found until after the artist has passed away

it makes MAKING art feel less urgent to me. to be able to make something, "put it out there", and then continue making it. i feel the URGE to get wrapped up in expectation and disappointment. to say, why did i make this if no one saw it? should i continue making it? if i continue making it, will resentment seep in to the text? what good are my good ideas if no one is looking at them?

i think there's a part of me that deliberately tries to avoid the pain of disappointment and unpopularity by expecting to be discovered long after my death. to say, well, wouldn't it be exciting if someone discovered my weird art blog or my unfinished book sometime in the future? i know of lots of comics and anime that have meant the world to me, that i didn't get to participate with in real time

still. it's all too possible to go too far with this sort of thing. i appreciate when this way of thinking let me work on art one piece after the next without stopping myself and forcing myself to try something different because this wasn't Doing Numbers. but doing it like this forever would cut me off from lots of wonderful experiences within my lifetime. to be able to learn what works and what doesn't. what's too difficult to parse, what's boring, what's annoying. unintentionally anyway. i don't mind making something difficult, boring, and annoying, but i rarely want to make something impossible to parse that puts you to sleep

when i was making art for myself, for my own needs, i'm glad i made it in a way that was criticism agnostic. and while i'd like to allow myself to maybe, advertise myself more, consider an audience more, i really want to retain the lessons i've learned in making patient art

idk. i want to push myself more this year ! because there's a major keystone of motivation in the back and forth conversation between audience and creator. i work faster when i know, specifically, that someone will see and respond to my work. and criticism plays a major role in becoming more effective at achieving whatever your art was meant to achieve. comforting someone, discomforting them, sharing a lesson, imparting a warning, or just helping them lose track of time safely in a world full of demands and danger

and then there's the money game. the "make something that will fund your next something" type game. make a portfolio of things that communicates what you're about, what your capable of now, that makes people imagine what you would make in the future if you're allowed to continue creating without starving to death. this basically runs in the opposite direction of my entire spiel about patient art, but i don't think it contradicts it. potentially, anyway

generally i think i've turned myself into that portfolio. when i talk to people, i'm showing them my Self as the thing i'm capable of. my problem solving, my comfort, my patience, my passion. i practice being valuable as a person and i hope sometimes that maybe that will be the avenue which sees my life get funded. "if you like talking to me today," i imply, "you should buy me dinner so that i am around to keep talking tomorrow!" is this normal? is this moral? join my patreon

[bizarredawdler]

Ever since I've pursued art as a hobby and started drawing and learning at my own pace, I've really come to realise just how insidious and stressful the entertainment industry is. When teaching new artists, so much of it is "make stuff everyday" or "learn a bunch of things fast" or the one I hate the most "go out there and get some new experiences in life". What if I don't have the time or money to do all that?

All of those things put so much pressure on the artists because if you can't keep your portfolio up to date with good art by following all of the above advice, you'll be out of a job and have to find another job unrelated to your art interests just to pay the bills. It's such a weird paradox to me. And the worst part is a lot of people teaching theses things don't realise how much pressure and stress this puts on artists or if they do, they just expect you to take the heat which is something I strongly disagree with. People learn things differently and at different paces, and yet this industry borderline FORCES you to learn at the same speed and the same way as everyone else just to keep up. It's completely nonsensical to me.

That's why I'm so glad I ditched trying to work in that field and just get a stable job that pays well and gives me free time to draw/create for fun. I want to experience the joy of creating and learning without all this pressure to improve or constantly comparing my art to others. Even to this day, I still have these bad habits that I got back when I was studying to go into that feild of constantly comparing myself to others or pushing myself to learn and improve fast and I've been trying to "deprogram" these thoughts. THAT'S how dangerous this type of thinking that is.

[thessalian]

Thess vs AI

So, the SAG-AFTRA deal with Replica.

I posted a link about this yesterday, and reblogged several more, but it's something that's massively on my mind. Mostly because it frustrates the hell out of me on so many levels.

Like, this came up in one of the subreddits I follow, and there was this one guy there going on and on and on about how he wanted this exact thing - he wanted to buy voices like art assets because he couldn't afford to hire voice actors and wanted to "realise his dream". And obviously he didn't want to turn around to uni students who might do it for a portfolio reel, some pizza and a promise of a cut of the profits (if any, because seriously, like fuck is this dude's asset-flip bullshit going to sell to any massive degree); he wanted real actors ... except not, because you're not getting real acting out of a computer. (And I'll go back to that point in a minute.)

But ... I have stories that I'd love to turn into games. Thing is, though? If I can't afford actual actors to voice this shit, I will do without voices! A lot of games have done that and done pretty damn well, all things considered! Hell, Dredge has, like, two or three acknowledging noises and the entire rest of the thing is text only. Being able to work within your resource limits to create something wonderful is just ... how you do it, when you're being creative. Everything from movies to cookery demonstrate to us time and time again. So expecting to be able to buy someone's voice off a virtual shelf and plug it into your game just because you can't "realise your vision" without a voice actor voicing a thing? That's just cheap cop-out bullshit.

Going back to the point about real acting - it really grinds my gears that voice actors aren't actually considered actors by a depressing percentage of people. Like, again we have Reddit (sometimes I have to see what the non-Tumblr version of the internet looks like so I can cozy back up into my blanket fort and be glad I curate my online experience so well) going, "There are only just a very few voice actors, right?" when stating how this is fine because it's not going to affect that many people. Which ... dude. There are only a few famous ones that you know about. There are a surprising number of people who make their livings doing "additional voices" in video games and three lines of "shop clerk" or "third soldier from the left" in Western cartoons and anime dubs. It's the same problem actors have - so many people think that the only actors that exist are the really famous ones, not the ones who are doing whatever bit parts they can to pay rent and hopefully find a line on a better role at some point.

Also ... I guess it's a bit like how too many people don't consider actors who are predominantly in sci-fi, fantasy, horror, anything that isn't "serious cinema" as "real actors". When I personally respect those actors an awful lot. I'm sorry - you've got people expressing a mix of fear and defiant rage while staring at the fucking tennis ball standing in for the big-ass demon they won't see until the final cut of the movie. How can you not give that props? Similarly, voice actors are giving those performances to a blank wall. To use our most recent epic example, you've got Astarion giving those lines - everything from debonair malice to barely-controlled terror-pleading to pure trust and gratitude - to a wall. In a little soundproof room. He made up all that - everything he needed to - in his head, and he gave those lines, and it was epic.

A computer cannot do that. I've heard some of Replica's AI voices. Gods, they're awful. Maybe - maybe - you could get that shit for "reactive NPCs" (although I'd personally hate that; even if it was done right, it feels creepy ... and I get a kick out of wandering around a major city covered in blood and nobody appearing to notice, thanks), but it'd still be awful. And you couldn't do it with main characters. Or if you did (and you know some of these awful companies would try), it'd be just awful. We're a long way away from a nuanced performance from a computer.

I respect artists because of the work they put in. Hell, I'm one of them. I see the phrase "AI DM" (yes, one of D&D Beyond's things was talking about a VTT with the potential for an AI DM), and I shudder because ... have they met a D&D group? Ever? At all? How could an AI determine "rule of cool"? Just ... ugh. The idea of an AI scripting TV shows or writing novels ... as a writer, it makes me sick. And actors? They hardly get any respect as it is unless they're some of the big names who do Serious Cinema (or make a hell of a lot of money); this is just shitting all over them even worse. What happens to the next generation of voice actors if greedy-ass corporations give the little roles that most VAs cut their proverbial teeth on to a fucking computer?

I hate it. I keep saying - the whole thing about automation was that it was supposed to let machines do the grunt-work while humans created art, and now it's the other way around as art is considered "just another saleable commodity". So ... maybe it's not that video games stopped being considered art, as I was thinking awhile ago. Maybe it's just that art itself stopped being art, because the money-makers are chewing it up into one big spitball of off-grey blech and throwing it at a wall.

[gameminds]

Tooth Gone

I got my tooth extracted. hooray

lol but seriously. I already feel substantially better psychologically just to have it out and not have to worry about it, and it hurts less than it has when it was at its worst already anyway. I'm glad I was at least able to be on top of my shit for long enough and consistently enough that I was able to get that done.

I'm still a little short on the financial side, and unfortunately I still haven't been able to monetize streaming or writing in any way yet. But really, I'm still in a very happy hobby space with both of those, and I've been very successful with school and work in the mean time. Partially because I sold a house last year, I'm essentially getting exactly zero dollars back on my tax return. So it may be another few weeks of grinding pretty hard until the end of the semester in the first week or so of May.

This summer, I'm going to be taking 4 full credit classes, so my school schedule is going to ramp up pretty dramatically. But I'm in a place where my productivity level and focus level is at all time highs, and I'm feeling more comfortable and fulfilled than I maybe ever have. Unfortunately again, I will probably have to reduce my content output a little. But basically no one is consuming it right now anyway XD

If you've stopped by the blog or my stream, I'd love to hear from you! I've been really interested to get feedback and hear from people who share interests with me, and I'm eager to build a bigger community of people that I feel like a part of. If you read my stories and you enjoy them, please please please share them, comment on my posts about them, send me a message, anything at all to let me know you're out there! Helping me share my stories with new people is the most important way you can help me meet more writers and content creators, share queer, progressive content you enjoy with people you love, and grow my channel so that I can keep adding more stories to the portfolio! Letting me know what you like and don't like, what you want to see more of, what keeps you coming back, and how I can help you see yourself in my stories is the most important way you can let me know that you appreciate the effort I put into crafting stories that speak to people, and help me get better and better all the time!

Anyway today I'm feeling very grateful after having several very bad weeks full of a lot of pain, stress, and depression. For anyone out there who reads this blog, reads my stories, watches the stream, hangs out with me on twitter-- thank you for spending some of your time with me and my weird thoughts!

the patreon can be found through my linktree if you want to support or check out my stories-- everything on patreon except the story outlines is available TOTALLY FREE. any amount you want to contribute goes directly to supporting me as a writer and content creator.

I've been posting stories sort of scattershot between a bunch of different profiles, but this week I'm going to migrate all of them over so that they're linked on both the patreon page and my writing blog, AB sci-fi. All of the stories will also be migrated to Google Docs in the process. I may even do some updates and edits 😉

Hope all is well with all of you! Enjoy the stories!

Catch you next time-

-AB

[onedayatatime-please]

Thursday, Aug. 15th, 2024. 1:03 pm

I've spent the whole day with extreme anxiety. I did my breakfast sandwich, shower, and everything like I said I would, but in between has been spent doing breathing exercises to try and calm myself down as my heart has been racing. I have been sitting in front of my computer emotionally prepping for my therapy appointment only to get a call five minutes before its supposed to start telling me that its been cancelled because the therapist had some sort of emergency and is now no longer taking new clients. This is fine, shit happens. Im now just emotionally exhausted and a bit upset that I had to change the person I wanted to be my therapist, and the new person im going to do intake with seems good but not quite as good. Who knows, maybe im wrong and Im gonna end up loving them but Im so fucking tired.

Also I had a dream last night where I was back on Randy's farm and got to say hi to Bandito. He must be a very old horse now if he is still alive (I know his mother passed a few years ago), and in my dream his hairs were greying a bit, but he still had the white pattern around his eyes. There was a girl there working on the farm and we were flirting, and in the dream I was kinda hoping to get with her. Most of the dream was spent on the farm, but at some point it shifted to a desert scape and suddenly I was in a war zone and hiding out in some low mud buildings from a group of soldiers. As some point a soldier found me and the last thing I remember from my dream was crying and begging for my life as he pointed his gun in my face. Very weird to have those two things happen one after the other.

I woke up feeling like I had not slept at all, which has been pretty much how I've been waking up every day recently.

I'm gonna clean the house and get ready for my cousins to be here in 3 hours. I am also going to try and photograph some more drawings for my portfolio so I can work on uploading them when I am visiting with my grandparents.

I am not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

9:42 pm edit:

Dinner went well and now I am very tired. I had a call with 🪶. He’s going to another city on the same days I’ll be near him. I think it’s time I move on from him. I loved him so much, and it’s not his fault that his life is falling apart. I want to be there for him and I want to keep loving him because I love loving him but I know it’s not sustainable. A part of me feels like I should just go along for the ride, I’m twenty, it doesn’t need to be sustainable yet. But I don��t want a ride, not really. He does tho, he wants to do crazy shit and that would be fine if we could work together to sustain our relationship on top of that but that doesn’t seem likely. This has been coming for so long I don’t really feel sad about it yet, I just feel lonely. I haven’t felt like I’m actually in a relationship for a while. And he was the one who made me want a sustainable relationship in the first place. I was so set on being lonely, but then I met him and it made me realize that I really do want another person, I want to be married, I want kids. But he doesn’t want any of that yet and he probably doesn’t want it with me either way. I’m glad that we were able to love each other for the few years we did. I wish things could be simple, but they are not. I don’t want to break it off with him because I’m afraid of experiencing true loneliness again after knowing what it’s like to actually not be lonely. Either decision leads to me being fucking miserable for a certain amount of time and I keep doing this thing where I try to negotiate and find a middle ground where I can be kind of okay for a little bit but that’s not how all this shit is gonna work in the end. I love him and I know that he loves me but we are at a time in our lives where we cannot fulfill each others needs in a stable relationship and so instead we are probably going to part ways and never hear from each other again and the thought of that makes me fucking sick.

I feel like a coward for wanting to leave him when he is struggling even though he is actively pushing me away.

I Wanna be an Astronaut floating through space

And be tied to a ship by a cord and just be simple and quiet.

But instead I’m a dog.

I’m gonna go to the ocean soon, so I can float in the water.

I’m not dead yet, I will do my best to keep it that way.

[meditating-dog-lover]

Rough year but I have some hope

Unfortunately 2023 had some rough moments for me.

I don't know what caused it at first. I am convinced it was my sack of shit dentist who left me scared and anxious about my health and wellbeing, which in turn made me stressed out and develop poor confidence and body dysmorphia. The first part of the year I was full of anxiety. I had 3 car accidents and 2 accidental spills in the lab (I spilled virus and sulfuric acid by mistake). And I had poor self confidence due to my weight and my teeth. I had the occasional concern about finances, but I have a semi-diversified portfolio and have 40k$ in savings now so I feel I'll be fine here (just want to invest more this year). I was anxious and had poor confidence. It was bad and interfered in my day to day life. Thank goodness I have better control over my health now and I am intermittent fasting, no doctor gets to lecture me on my health and IF will be a great fat losing tool coupled with power walking (I did not walk this week because we had a snowstorm, but generally speaking I love walking).

Anxiety has always consumed me. I did eat a healthier diet (my diet used to be littered with sugar but my cravings got better with my supplements), but I was eating large portions, more than I was burning. So I was exercising a lot, but this resulted in me building muscle and not losing fat, looking big overall. I'm hopeful IF helps here, where I get to consume ~2000 calories and walk to burn calories effectively. Disciplined eating puts me in a powerful and happy mood (like in college), and I get to do it with IF instead of calorie counting. But anyways I did feel very miserable and personally unconfident with my body despite what I would tell myself. I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror and would not buy clothes. Obviously this impacted my psychological wellness along with my already existing anxiety.

I was generally okay in the summer and early fall. Then came October 7th and I was devastated over the genocide happening in Gaza. Spending hours a day checking my Tumblr and Instagram feed and seeing pictures and videos of the destruction, orphaned children crying for their parents, dead babies, people with their legs blown off, children having surgery/amputations performed on them without anesthesia, dead children with their bones sticking out because they were hit with flesh-dissolving white phosphorus. This impacted my performance at work which caused me to fuck up as well. I swear the combination of what I saw and the disaster at work made me run to the bathroom and lock the door and start crying. And I never cry in public.

Then the following weekend I go see my fucking therapist to process all of this only for her to downplay my emotions and victim blame. Honestly fuck her and I'm glad I stopped going. I gave her a piece of my mind in my termination email about thinking twice before victim blaming. The news coupled with my declining performance at work and my therapist made me want to crash my car.

I have not felt this level of hopelessness since 2013-2017. Where I felt the whole world around me was fucked up and I only had myself. I felt some hope eventually later, which made me feel better. But that all went away. I can blame Israel, I can blame my therapist, I can blame my anxiety, though I cannot blame my job and employees because that was on me. But I feel like the world around me is a disaster and I only have my own personal happiness, positivity, kindness, and personal drive to keep me going. I remember this was a feeling I had in college, now I have it again thanks to the flashbacks.

Anyways I yelled at my therapist and quit our sessions. I'm still devastated by Israel's brutality against the Palestinians, I still struggle with anxiety. My work performance was good overall with some areas of improvement due to my declining efforts as a result of my anxiety and depression over the news. I take my job seriously and want to eventually be promoted, I hope this doesn't influence my chances negatively. I am worried.

So yeah, pretty much a fucking dentist, body dysmorphia, Israel, my therapist, anxiety, etc... led to my stressful year of car accidents, work accidents, poor self image, anxiety, resuming feelings of hopelessness I had in my late teens and early 20s, and my declining performance at work. As a result I quit therapy, am constantly talking about Palestine, am trying out IF, switched to another dentist, and am looking into ways to manage my anxiety (that and my eczema which are 2 health issues I want to heavily focus on this year combined with my IF).

I do not trust doctors, dentists, nor therapists at all anymore. I want to heal myself on my own which is why I post a lot of health and wellness and preventative care tips for myself on this page. I will continue to expose Israel's war crimes on my blog (they are losing the media war thanks to people like us). IF will help with my dysmorphia. I will find solutions for my anxiety and eczema. And I will continue to do well at work.

[ketbra]

sorry to bring up ancient history from mid-October, but someone who codes using AI tools IS a programmer, just like someone who uses them for art is an artist. Most programmers learned to code by copying other people’s code piecemeal, maybe tweaking the parts they could figure out until it did what they wanted, and it doesn’t make any difference if they get the code from an AI instead. People cribbing from Stack Overflow are programmers, people who code with those building-block UIs are programmers, people who write basic bash scripts for the commandline are programmers, people arranging machine instructions in binary are programmers. Do you see? They’re all creating. Where would we be if we had stopped at punchcards because typing a program was too easy? However easy we make it, there will still be further goals to strive for. (Also, anyone who claims you need to know bubblesort to be a programmer is a fool and probably a poser.)

Hi anon, I'm actually glad my posts from mid-october don't get read and forgotten and i really appreciate the question because I don't think this website has enough middle ground on the topic to have a conversation that isn't just hate from both sides.

So, I get where you're coming from, there are many different types of programmers and there are many different types of artists, and it's true that not all of them know bubblesort because maybe some programmers kept on working and developing other aspects (an assembly programmer and an html developer have surely different views on the same topic)

and it's so very much true that you can find code on stack overflow, or directly ask chatgpt for a function and you can add those strings to your code. or you can use tools for building the UI all you want

but there is a difference between asking AI tools for a piece of code and knowing how it works. You can have a completely working program or app that you ask AI to code for you and you might have the idea for that app, but if you don't know how the code works then you're not the one who programmed it. And I don't mean it to minimize anyone's work, but if one reads a piece of code, (with all the context needed to understand it) and doesn't know how it works, then that person isn't a programmer.

I'm not saying different types of developers need to know everything about every language, but they do know the one they're using.

The difference between copying a piece of code into your code and getting the code completely written by someone/something else is that in the first instance you know what you're doing and you're asking for help, in the second you're commissioning a final product.

And I think this can be applied to art as well, an artist knows so many things we take for granted, the pressure, how light and shadows work, anatomy, prospective, materials, contrast, which color evokes that specific emotion and so on.

Now, is every draw painted by a real person art? (tumblr is going to hate me for this but) no, not every draw is art, there's always a subjective element in these discourse but personally I don't think everything is art, or that everything is a ode to the human condition, sometimes one draws a doodle and it's fun and doesn't hold the weight of being called art.

Is every draw painted by AI shit? (and tumblr is going to hate me for this as well but) no. sometimes AI art is wonderful and sometimes it's just fun, I use it with friends, we make silly pictures to send eachother and birthday cards. and it's fun, and pretty and we're all programmers and it's harmless.

And the thing is, that I am pro AI-art just not in the way it is now. I think the scraping of every picture on the internet to train AIs has been a little invasive and kind of unfair. I think the best way to get AI tools and human artists together is to have AI trained on every classical painting and draw at museums and in history books, and then, if there are specific modern styles a company selling AI tools wants to add to its portfolio then they should get in contact with said artists and pay them for their work and ask permission to use their art.

the way I see it, it's like if you made a funny post on the internet, and a company copies and pastes it on their own profile and makes it look like it was its pr team who thought about it. And I mean they don't get anything directly out of it, but also there's a value in the image a company has online.

I think this answer is very long already and I just want to finish it with the actual answer to the question. I don't think AI artists can call themselves that. I don't think they're artists, they're for sure creative people and they can have good, great, ideas like everyone one else but if they don't have the knowledge to create those pieces on their own then they're not artists. Designers, picture architects, prompt makers, people with great ideas but not artists.

And before you tell me yeah but you still need some tools to make art, you can't not do it "on your own", yes but there's a difference between drawing with an ipad and typing a prompt into mid-journey.

You could end up with the same exact result and people might not even recognize one is AI but it's not the same thing as being an artist.

I can design a wool hat to the detail, but that makes me a designer, not a knitter. BUT those figures can and do collaborate, it's just that in this very moment AI tools aren't making it possible to have a conversation. they stole from the world wide web and they did it for profit. and it always ends up like this, it's always a marketing tool.

[lavoixvida]

Vida Blog #1

05/11/2023

Hi! And welcome to my first of many Vida Blogs!

So the reason why I am writing this blog is because it's part of my assignment on becoming a Certified Voice Artist. We're required to write down our insights on the first week of the workshop. So yeah, below are the following insights:

Being a voice artist is no easy feat - I know this way before I enrolled. But I guess, some do think it is an easy thing to become a voice artist thinking that if you have good chops then you can be one immediately. I know it's gonna take a lot of work and effort to get where I want to be someday as a Voice Artist.

This is the right time for me to pursue being a voice artist - they do say timing is everything and I do think that's true. It did take a while to push this. I went through some difficult life hurdles (and still am). It took a good amount of time for me to get back up on my feet and take charge again in my own narrative. And this is one of them.

What's in it for me in the future? - I don't know. For someone who's been pretty much a compulsive planner most of her life, this being a voice artist put me in unknown territory. Will I do this long-term? Will I be able to get gigs? I don't know. I'm nervous at the same time excited about it. And this does motivate me to train myself better and try to gain experience (expand my portfolio). So I'm glad that they're making us do these assignments such as making social media accounts using out brand name and stuff. It's pretty daunting especially since I'm an introvert but this is literally the price I pay to get here. hehe~

I guess, that's it for now. My writing is pretty bad in this one because I really didn't know how to start writing this and just wrote whatever went on my head.

Anyway, see you in the next blog.

<3 Vida

[cosmicyeen]

Entire twisty dragon completed (at least the lines, dunno if there's any color scheme that could potentially be adequate for a drawing that keeps defying colors every time i look at it

I started this on jan 12th ish, worked on it most days like an hourish but up to like 5 hours some days. Lots of refinement and details and everything. Powered forward using the power of corvus corax's music as well as music shared by friends

this sorta dragon is something ive drawn a lot of iterations of in the past but this is by far the most cohesive and complex as well as just condensing the most time and detail i could and just, , it's fascinating to see it because in a lot of ways it's like i'm Finally seeing the dragon i've been drawing shadows of for years

Here's some closeups:

there's a lot of threads that i've sort of tied together here; the eyes especially are something i'm glad i focused on as i'll often do these strange mupils and rings of scales around them. The scale ring almost seems to rotate out of the corner of my eye and a lot of the other detailed bits tend to buzz or swirl as well, likely a phenomena like pattern glare.

the antlers are also interesting, since when i did the paper sketch I noticed i had inadvertently made a sketchy shape that reminds me of a specific high pitched sound in a lot of corvus corax songs, especially in bärentanz

i also just love repeating patterns and overlapping twists and turns and figuring out how to keep an asymmetrical drawing balanced visually

here's a similar dragon i made as a part of my AP art portfolio back in high school, as well as a hyena and bird i did with the same theme of an intense, almost garish display with eye contact and baring fangs

More buzziness for the eyes, more eyes to demand attention, more attention split when you try to see the subject yet the subject drags your gaze

I forget when i did this one specifically, it was a while back. Definitely closer to the subject of this post I've recently completed. Still a simplification that can't fully display itself through this one drawing. there are also earlier and earlier examples of this idea breaking itself through art and sketches. So this is an intense accumulation of it all.

SO BASCIALLY i like this dragon. the seeds of the idea definitely stem from east asian dragons, as well as wyrms in general and the dragon from beowulf. Shoutout to anger and eye contact and staring into the face of fear and awe and finding it is a crystallization of life itself and all the joys and sorrows.

[kellymaher]

November Portfolio - Entry 1

Title: Glass Bumblebee

Date created: 11/30/22

Materials: Pre-Cut Glass, Copper Tape, Flux, Brush, Solder, Soldering Iron, Chain, Press Board

Description: This was an attempt to make a hanging stain glass bumblebee from a kit. Each glass pieces must be wrapped in copper tape, all of the tape smoothed with a little press board, coat the copper with flux, rearrange the pieces into the correct order, solder the tape on the top, bottom, and sides of the piece, and last but not least, attaching the chain to the top.

Inspiration: My aunt recently took up colored glass design making and it sounding interesting and challenging, plus I initially considered using this as the companion piece for my blowing glass project, given the similarities of using glass, metal, and heat to fuse the pieces.

What I learned: Just because something is in a kit, doesn't make it simple! I was actually shocked by how much more intense the process was than I had anticipated. It took more steps, a lot of close attention, a steady hand, and very careful movements to do. Unfortunately, I also didn't anticipate that the kit would not come with enough solder to finish the piece (or, at least, not for a sloppy first timer like myself). Because of this and my poor timing, I could not complete the piece for my portfolio, but I will complete it in the future. This was also significantly more difficult than I thought it would be to create and trace free-handed lines with the solder and the iron. Like with the glass blowing, I'm also proud of myself for doing it despite being very nervous about using the soldering iron. Sometimes I can be a bit of a klutz, so there was a part of me that was sure I would manage to burn myself while working on the piece, but thankfully I was wrong, and I'm glad that I chose to challenge myself. That said, I also found it a bit frustrating that I am currently unable to complete it and that it does not look neat or polished in the way that I'd like for it to, but that perfectionism is something I'm trying to confront in myself and let go of a bit.

How this could be used with a client: Just for the safety concerns I don't know that I could use this exact activity with a client, however, I think it could be adapted to a bead ironing activity, or some other craft kit. A less dangerous alternative could work with a variety of populations as it could be a simple practice in following instructions/ paying attention to details for children or those with ADHD, the activity being simple and coming with all the pieces could allow anyone to complete the activity even if they don't consider themselves to be creative, and the encouragement of completing the activity and walking away with a cute piece or trinket may boost self esteem/ self efficacy. Last but not least, the activity could help clients with anxiety, OCD, or a need for control or perfection a chance to practice letting that control go, just like I had to with this incomplete and kind of sloppy stained glass piece.

[endrae]

Hey! I was wondering what you've done to get where you are in your art career. I've been following since your Dishonored days and now to Arcane. It's honestly amazing, and as an aspiring 2D and 3D artist you are a huge inspiration.

Hey anon, thanks for dropping a message! I'm glad to hear you still find my art interesting after all these years!

And for any tips, I don't have anything mind-blowing to say that other artists haven't already, but imo keep creating art you personally enjoy, especially if we're talking about a professional career. Only include pieces into your portfolio you would like to be paid to create as that's basically what you're hired to do if the hiring is based on your work samples. This sounds like an obvious thing to say, but it's something that people often forget when they only concentrate on what they "should have" in their portfolio.

And if there are some areas you're not so good at and think you should know but don't have a deep interest in, try to find some way around the issue. For example, I didn't do any environment centric illustrations for the longest time but then I found a way to combine the 3D blocking with the pieces so I got around the tedious starting part which always stopped me originally.

And ofc, if you're interested in how I especially do things, I have my a bit outdated tutorial tag. Most of the posts are quite old, but I still quite much use the same ideas, techniques and principles, I've just learned how to rend more in detail I guess lol