#This would take place in the Naruto time skip pre-shippuden

[tennome]

"So it was all for nothing?''

"No, because I'll cherish what we shared, it may have been fleeting but memorable. I can't control how you feel but I hope you'll be able to look back on it fondly someday," the Hyuuga said in reply. It was an inevitable clash she would have with him. The end of a bond. Shinju enjoyed his company even when it was shared in silence. No words needed to be exchanged between them, their shared company was enough. It saddened her to let him go and commit fully to her clan. No distractions from the outside. A distraction - is that what he was? No. Yes… Behind her controlled mask of emotion raged a storm of conflict. 

"Tomorrow I'll officially take my place within my clan and retire from active duty. They need my full commitment without any distractions." She gave him a bow, "I'm most grateful for everything. I hope only the best for you. I mean it," the last part was said while she returned to her normal posture. A self-assured woman with a classic elegance that was commonly displayed by someone of her standing. 

@tenzx

[chatonyant]

Some hella messy doodles for the shippuden designs! Excuse the every changing details because I am never truly happy with final designs dear lord-

I’ve got design notes! Long wall of words belooowww

Starting with Naruto once again!

his clothes are based off of several unfinished ideas I had of Uzushio and how their proficiency with seals would allow them to be more flamboyant or lighter in their gear. The magic of storage and protective seals!

there are seals embroidered into the inner lining and occasionally the exterior, acting as both armor and pack. Uzushio always seemed like a rather bright place, connected to the sea, so I made the robes generally blue themed but also darker as they are still shinobi in the end and bright colors are harder to hide. 

I added a hood because Naruto just,,,, he has modern streetwear vibes. He’d love hoodies

The whole Uzushio inspired ensemble is cause I was thinking that in this au he finds the opportunity to find and visit the island itself. Probably during the time skip, considering it’s hard to really place the discovery of a long lost village within the six-month period between graduation and the chunnin exams

At first I wanted to give him like a mesh crop top to show his seal but then it kinda didn’t have that traditional vibe that I wanted, so I added the kimono top and a red obi with symbols that kinda symbolize the seal (because Naruto connects with Kurama much earlier in this AU)

The headband was honestly ridiculously tricky to place because i was trying to draw this longer hair without making it poof weirdly at the top. Plus I wanted to keep the headband where it was cause,,, cause i was thinking when he goes into tailed beast mode the ribbons flare up to look like Kurama’s ears :”DDD peek design amiright-

his hair. is longer. because i love long hair Naruto to bits and it makes him look like his parents ;;; both of them

the gloves. I have no excuse. They just Look Cool

Sakura:

I gave her an undercut

she deserves it

I didn’t mention this in the other redesign post but she has dimples (though i’m really bad at drawing them

that one scene where she tied up her hair in the Kazekage Rescue Arc was so fucking beautiful I couldn’t resist throwing it in here lmaoooo

i can’t draw it right but imagine the ponytail kinda flowering out like a sakura blossom 

I took a lot of different things I liked about the older!Sakura designs and smooshed them in one with my own twist

like sleeveless qipao

Belt from pre-timeskip period stays, except now with an extra medical supply bag

longer pants cause they look nice

Sasuke:

honestly I like his normal shippuden design a lot so i kept most of it

I added a cape though, cause he does travel around a bit

and as i was drawing him the collar reverted to a similar shape to his kid clothes

fun fact

the reason that his outfit remains largely the same is because

Sasuke does leave

the action itself doesn’t change, but the circumstances and the ensuing effects do. quite a bit, actually.

and no it does not take the entirety of shippuden to get him back

because he is not a revenge obsessed angry kid here

the biggest reason for all this change is cause I want to change Orochimaru cause i wanna make him live purely because I love mitsuki so fucking much

also i gave him a little half ponytail cause i wanted to give him longer hair but then realized that idk how to draw that and make it look good sO new style boyos

Kakashi? what are you doing here?:

I wanted to change up Kakashi’s look as well because it’s actually really fun to design these outfits no matter difficult it may be bUT it was difficult because I just... can’t see him without a vest. 

Not that i can’t see him without wearing a vest, because i have and it’s good and I like it, but i can’t see him going into battle or on missions without one. 

I’ve got this headcannon that the vest is lowkey like a security blanket and it’s this grounding weight whenever he’s in this adrenaline filled situation where he may suffer many varieties of consequences if he’s not careful. It has his tools and it’s his armor. Replacing it with a robe feels like robbing him of something he’s always had and is always used to

SO

he keeps a vest

i modified it a bit to make it more right hand sided (i may headcannon Kakashi to be ambidextrous but there’s no denying he uses his right hand more) and the collar to be a bit thinner

Kakashi is like, made for biker fashion. like leather or denim jackets on motorbikes. So I gave him a haori that emulates that look 

Naruto came back, saw that Kakashi didn’t change at ALL and took it as a personal offense and dragged him around to get new threads because “Kakashi-sensei, we all upgraded our closet, you should too!”

kind of a sad headcannon that Kakashi didn’t quite let himself enjoy things that wouldn’t benefit him as a ninja and therefore just stuck to his normal outfit of ninja clothes and jonin vest. Icha Icha was the one exception and he picked it up because he had no idea what to do once he was out of ANBU (i would like to back this hc up by pointing to Boruto where Kakashi no longer really holds himself to this rigid ideal of a ninja and lets loose and has fun with Gai and Mirai)

ANYWAYS

he actually likes the stuff Naruto finds for him, though he has no idea where the boy is actually finding all this shit

some misc info about the outfits:

Naruto began learning sealing after the Wave Arc, and he took to it like a fish to water. (i have uzushio spirit hc that I will tell at a later time)

a rare nugget of information he found about uzushio seals was that they were often stitched into the clothing itself

so Naruto went wild with this

he learned sealing while practicing normal embroidery on the side and as he went on his 2-3 year trip with Jiraiya he learned more and just got better and better

He added the seal to his own haori himself and actually made one for Kakashi too. Kakashi just didn’t see him whip the gift haori from one of the stitched sealing scrolls

embroidering takes a really long time and matching it with sealing? oof, hard work. So he actually only got two done and is in process of Sakura’s next. Now that he’s back in the village, he can talk to her about certain things she would want/need considering Naruto isn’t sure what a medic-nin requires.

he made additional gifts for everyone in team seven (even sasuke, even if he doesn’t know what will happen) and hopefully as time passes little trinkets will start to appear

i just really like the idea of naruto being a really craftsy person. He just keeps making small trinkets except these trinkets have sEALING POWER cause he’s very chaotic with his experiments like that

[senbons]

what do you think of shikatema's relationship after the war and in boruto? genuinely curious

So, as a disclaimer, I have neither read nor watched Boruto. I have seen some panels and watched a few episodes (specifically those which feature shikatema), but I am not really well-versed in the material. I may rally one day and sit down and read it, but I have no plans for that as of now. So keep in mind that my conception is not formed from strong knowledge and is not particularly well-based.

But okay! So in short: I don’t dislike all of their portrayal post-war, but I don’t like much of it. I think it is a bad combination of their relationship in pre-shippuden and shippuden.

To break that down semi-coherently, in the beginning when they meet, Shikamaru is often an asshole in the way he speaks (generally toward women) and Temari, honestly, is a bitch. But they are young. And these flaws, the specifics around them, are very complimentary, and we as readers saw how these two characters, who already, in their brief time together, had shaken the other’s foundations, could mature together. The things that would make her stronger and better, he had, and vice-versa. They were young, but we saw how they could develop to bring out the best in the other.

In Shippuden, this is exactly what happened. In what little bits we saw, they pushed each other to be better versions of themselves. They connected in a way with the other that we had never seen either of them connect before. Of course, it’s not like Temari was the sole influence on turning Shikamaru from boy to man or anything like that, but you saw how she understood him in a way we hadn’t seen before except from his immediate family (and I count team 10 in that). And the same for her. Even in the very beginning after the time-skip, after Naruto accuses them of being on a date, right? That next morning when he wakes up early just to accompany her for a few minutes longer… when he waits for her? That sort of acknowledgment of the other, of the desire for the other’s attention, of confidence in the relationship… that was so strong, so powerful to me. To see both of them genuinely want to spend time with the other (have we ever seen anything like that from either of them before?!)… that was the kind of relationship we had all theorized pre-shippuden. I also always love that filler episode where Konohamaru tries to fight her and he comes and interrupts and speaks of her without even looking at her — that’s a deep-rooted level of confidence in a relationship… and it was very REAL (and very sexy). (I won’t go into this more here, but @sylversmith and I wrote a whole thing about their relationship a few weeks ago).

So then in the next gen, post-war, it often feels like all the development of Shippuden goes out the window. They revert back to their original, pre-shippuden ways as far as their relationship goes, with only the occasional sprinkle of shippuden-era development.

I see this specifically in the way in which Temari is portrayed. She has suddenly become the “annoying housewife” that parrots Shikamaru’s immature imagination when he was twelve that turned him off marriage in the first place. It’s a parody of her character. She was strong-minded and independent and all those things, but she was also sensible and she and Shikamaru were equals. Now she nags, and screams, and hits Shikamaru and Shikadai as a joke. It does away with absolutely all the maturity she had found since we met her at the chunin exams. It might as well have been the last time we saw her as Kishi just threw out everything else! And Shikamaru, while he does show his maturity since childhood in his work, he is once more portrayed as that sexist little kid from childhood at home. He talks of Temari like he is scared of her to his son. That’s so fucked up in light of where they had been and where they should have gone. And that whole Shikaku “the hardest women are soft w the men the love” or whatever bullshit — that is portrayed against both their characters as well. Temari, when she is “gentle” or w/e with Shikamaru, is almost always so only in relation to sex or to romance. And then suddenly she is unsure and girly and shy and blushing (childlike, honestly) and Shikamaru is The Man and he takes charge of his now mild-mannered wife…. 

That being said, there are moments where we see that old, shippuden-era relationship. I think specifically of the chunin exams w Shikadai where they think on the other with that old admiration and confidence. And once when Temari was talking to Shikadai about his father and his strength as a strategist — that sort of relationship is very attractive to me. You could see how they knew each other and loved each other and were raising a son together — how they wanted the same things with the same ends. You could see how they complimented the other without it being a mockery of their characters.

(and DO NOT get me started on her moving to konoha full time because that’s the biggest load of bullshit i’m sorry and I’ll argue this point forever)

So in summary, that’s my general (not well researched) understanding of boruto. And of the other eras too I guess. But that’s how I understood the characters and what I wanted to happen. It’s just my opinion! I don’t think I’m “right” or anything!!!

I hope that answers your question!

[myentertainmentthoughts]

Naruto - a 15 year journey

I'm not sure if the above statement/title of this post says more about me than anything else. But I finally finished episode 500 of Naruto Shippuden this week, and it's a little unbelievable that it has taken me this long to finally wrap up an anime that I still to this day, acknowledge as one of the most instrumental series in getting me into anime as a genre. Period. (I guess it takes a global pandemic, and the world falling apart for me to hunker down and actually invest time into watching TV, lol.)

While I'm sad to say goodbye to Naruto, I'll admit that finishing Shippuden was actually a bit of a relief. The characters in this show will always have a deep and special place in my heart, and the strength of said characters is what makes this series so iconic. That being said, digesting the writing in the final arc of Shippuden was a labor, not a joy.

I think where the series shines the most is in the first parts of both the first Naruto, and Naruto Shippuden. This is where we get to see the characters grow in strength, and in motivation. First and foremost with title character Naruto, but also arguably with most if not all of the side and supporting characters. Again - I feel that Naruto as a series is outstanding in large part to how interesting and likeable its characters are. They're the kind of characters you truly root for - it's what kept me watching hundreds of episodes of content.

I also think the themes of Naruto are extremely relevant, especially now in 2020 where we are all experiencing very tumultuous and turbulent times. I am a huge fan of the primary message of this show. While the cycle of humanity's hatred is nearly impossible to break because of how difficult it is to understand one another's pain - we will find more success at prevailing and breaking this cycle when we stand together united. No one is able to solve their problems alone.

Lastly - the world of Naruto is just cool and creative. I like this concept of entire villages of ninja, and it's fun to see each clan and each ninja's different unique abilities. There are a lot of stand out arcs throughout Naruto and Shippuden in terms of the fights. I think that this property clearly excels in 1v1 battles. I would've liked to see much better teamwork battles, and this is probably why the last arc of Shippuden was particularly painful for me to slog through. Nonetheless - there are tons of fun fights to see throughout the show. Lots of solid action.

That said, this series is flawed. I'm not going to lie - I feel that Kishimoto got lazy with the writing in trying to wrap up the main storyline. There's too many plot twists involving the villains in the last part of Shippuden that it just isn't really that believable anymore. The last fight involving the final villain vs. our heroes being probably the most ridiculous. By the time they circle back to Naruto and Sasuke's final confrontation and resolution, it feels very short, anticlimactic, and even empty. I felt that this was a disservice to this relationship that is so central to the series.

I am also going to call out Kishimoto's writing when it comes to the female characters. I know that I am not alone in my frustrations with this, and that many in the Naruto fanbase have voiced this opinion as well. But straight up, the kunoichi in this series serve to be plot devices for their male counterparts. Which is incredibly disappointing, because I actually find the female cast of this series to be likeable, and equipped with some formidable and interesting abilities. 

This was particularly frustrating for me in regards to Tsunade - one of, if not my favorite character in the series whose character and strengths are essentially abandoned, even pre-Pain arc. And sadly, this fault in the writing for female characters most affects Team 7's only girl – Sakura. Her considerable and admirable growth from the first series to Shippuden quickly reverts back into "useless" category, especially with Sasuke's reintroduction, and it’s grueling to watch it. Especially with all the hate her character receives from the fanbase when I feel that her storyline of rising up from sidelined, to useful and strong with her own unique skills, was relatable and had so much wasted potential.

Luckily, my experience with Naruto didn’t span over the actual air time of the show. I got into this series in late junior high/early high school, never finished it, attempted to go back several times, and failed because of all of the filler content. It wasn’t until just now that I made the resolution to finally give the series a proper watch through (skipping the filler episodes, of course, was the key to being successful).

I do strongly believe that this affected my perception on the series – I think that my disappointment with the writing quality in the later part of Shippuden has been helped out by not waiting for so long for the series resolution. I think that Naruto, much like any popular, long running content suffered from pressure on the creator to deliver an ending that could satisfy the hype that the series gathered through the years of its run time. So that being said, I could accept Naruto as a whole for what it is. A solid, action-based shonen series that will always be special to me for how long I’ve been acquainted with, and loved these characters.

But is it worth the time investment of 720 episodes? It’s a lie if I say that I think the ending truly paid off and satisfied. I will always recognize and understand why Naruto has played such an important role in manga/anime, and why the series remains so beloved. But I would caution anyone who is going into the show, that it is far from perfect. Come into the fandom with a filler list handy, preparation to skip through huge portions of repeated flashbacks, and with an expectation that the writing of Shippuden in its second part dives significantly.

Regardless of my opinion on the consistency of this series, Naruto and his friends will always be special to me. A real thank you to Masashi Kishimoto for this series that has meant so much to so many people, despite its flaws. Now, onwards for me to digest new content!

[kakashisavakening]

Chapter 4 - The First Ray of Sun through the Clouds

Quick disclaimer about the story line - this really doesn't fit on the Naruto Story line. It is kind of around the time when the Shippuden starts, but not entirely. I wanted to make Sakura of legal age, cus ya know.... I wanna include some adult content and we don't want Kakashi to bang a minor. So she is about 18 here, but the story is still back between the skipped years before the shippuden. (with all those filler episodes I would say they should have aged anyway before the series continued but that is just my opinion)

I wanted this series to be definitely pre-war and be in the time when Naruto was begging the Fifth to go on missions to find Sasuke, and Sakura still being trained by Tsunade. So please consider this as an alternative universe.

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Kakashi was taken aback by Sakura's sudden - and unexpected - confession. In her heart, he felt confusion and distress, but he also felt that her words carried the truth. 

He, too, felt conflicted. He knew that this was wrong somehow. He knew that they weren't supposed to talk about this or act on this... this... felling? Desire? What was it? What was it really? Was it something primitive, like lust? Was it more complex? Was it love? 

Did he know what love was? Did she?

"Please forgive me, sensei. I thought you should know.. in case.." - She suddenly grew quiet and looked out the window. The sky seemed to be a bit less grey than before... even some hints of blue peaked through the clouds.

"In case of what?" - Kakashi asked back. Sakura closed her eyes and smiled at him. 

"It's nothing. Doesn't matter." - Sakura didn't know how telling him that they were both dying right now would help their case. She knew he felt her lies, but since she couldn't hear his thoughts, she assumed he couldn't hear hers either.

Kakashi let out a half annoyed sigh. - "Why are you lying to me?"

For a second she remained quiet. What could she say to that? To protect him? That sounded cliché... and would also be a lie. She decided not to tell him to give them a chance. If they were to die here - because nothing pointed in the direction of the possibility that he would regain his memories or will to live - they might as well enjoy the time they have left. But how could she tell him that? It was a very selfish decision to keep it from Kakashi, but at the same time she thought if he never returns to what he used to be, then burdening him with the responsibility of her death as well would be cruel. There were lots of other ways to make him remember... 

"It's all good, Kakashi-sensei." - She stepped to the window and opened it to let in the breeze. It still carried the scent of the rain with a hint of sweet cherry blossoms. 

Kakashi wanted to hug her from behind and bury his face in her shoulder. He knew she would let him - after all, she had just confessed that she also had feelings for him... but he stopped himself. This wasn't real. She might be not real. Her lips felt real, her body too... it all felt like she was there with him, but how could she really be here.  He closed his eyes and let his mind wander, alternate between desire and self-restriction. An image floated into his vision. Of her... carrying a huge stack of books. A memory. His eyes popped open in surprise. This wasn't something he had seen before. He closed his eyes again and concentrated on the image. She looked different... younger. There she wasn't woman like at all... just a kid. 

The Sakura standing before him was very different from that child... not just because her body had matured but her eyes were less filled with that sparkle. The sparkle of childhood and naive beliefs. This Sakura carried the scars of a ninja in her soul. He joined her by the window, leaning on the frame without touching her.

"How old am I?" - he asked - "Out there.." 

To be frank, Sakura didn't know. He never told them anything about his personal life. - "I'm really unsure... around 30-ish."

"Please don't tell me I turn into a pedo..." - He sighed and massaged his temples. Sakura flushed and shook her head violently.

"No! You never did anything to me... never really paid much attention to me, to be fair. Did't even train me as much as you did the other members of team 7." - She sighed - "Of course I have always admired you as a teacher and you never failed to protect me, but it was never a romantic relationship. Or any kind of relationship, really. Just a sensei and his student."

"Then why is this shit happening?" - Kakashi waved at the cherry blossoms in the city.

"I am not sure. But you never tried to approach me that way before." - She said, her cheeks still flushed. Kakashi couldn't help, but stare.

"What about you? Were you having feelings for me before coming here?" - Kakashi asked. His bluntness made her uneasy. You can't just tell a person you love them out of the blue... Obviously she wasn't neutral to him. She had risked her life to come here after all.

"Since the Fifth took over the office, she had sent the Jonin out on missions nonstop. We haven't really been on a mission since I was 13. That was a while ago, really. I was't around you enough to know.. to realise." -She began playing with her fingers, occasionally pressing a nail into her fingertips in attempt to ease her discomfort. Here, Kakashi was barely a year older than her. Seeing him like this might have had some influence on her feelings coming to the surface. Here, she was allowed. Not just because here they were around the same age - she didn't mind him being older, really - but because this world was theirs. Nobody was here to judge or blame them for feeling anything.

"Walk with me?" - Kakashi asked suddenly and jumped on the windowsill, reaching one hand out for her. She took it without hesitation and they jumped to the ground gracefully. The wind blew swarms of cherry blossom petals around them. She smiled at the sight of a couple rays of sunshine peaking through the clouds. Maybe it was a sign? Was he getting better? But now she wasn't sure she wants to leave this place anymore. If they go back, what would happen? Would they pretend that nothing had happened?

"Where are we going?" - Sakura asked curiously.

"Just having a stroll, don't worry." - He smiled. She had told him that he was at least a decade older than her in reality. It was so confusing to think of himself as  a 30-something man. He took a deep breath. He was still barely just 19 here. His real self must have so much experience in these kinds of things. - "Sakura, do I have a partner out there?"

"I haven't seen you with a romantic partner if that's what you are asking. You never really told us anything about yourself... heck, I haven't seen your face until now!" - She almost growled the last bit. It had really annoyed the whole team that Kakashi let himself be this blank canvas for people to imagine and pin things on. He never corrected anybody, but never really confirmed anything either. Kakashi chuckled at her latter comment. 

"I have never been one to show my face much, that's true." - He smiled. - "But how was I supposed to kiss you if I left my mask on?"

Sakura's heart jumped at the mention of their previous kiss. - "What will happen to us?" - She had blurted out, not really thinking about the consequences this conversation might carry.

"You mean if we go back?" - Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Sakura nodded. He looked at the sky and put his hands in his pocket. - "Dunno. I mean, it was just one kiss, what do you expect me to do?"

That's right.. She thought. In the world of the adults, a kiss was next to meaningless. Sometimes even a night spent together meant nothing in the next morning. But this kiss was not something she could just forget and move on easily from. And she wanted more. Every time their eyes met, she felt this unexplainable force, pushing her to take a step towards him. She wanted to take that stupid mask off - and maybe some other clothing items too - and kiss him again. Filled with these thoughts, he didn't answer his question. 

But there was one thing she also forgot besides his question. He could feel what she felt. He felt her lust wash over him, and he needed to swallow and take a deep breath not to be taken over by it. It might have been hers and not his, but it affected him just as much. He closed his eyes and tried to think of sad things to make his desire fade away... but no matter how much he tried, all he saw was her face, even with his eyes closed. He knew that if this went on like that he won't be able to contain himself. - "Do you want me?" - He asked. That was somewhere a pointless question, since he felt clearly that she did. But desire and will were two entirely separate things. She might want to contain herself just as much as he does - probably for different reasons. But as much as he wanted to remain collected and calm, this primal feeling wouldn't settle, driving his thoughts to scenarios that would make anyone blush from head to toe. 

Their eyes locked for a long moment before Sakura finally answered. She needed that time to really grasp what he meant. He didn't mean to ask wether she wanted him in his life... he meant here and now. Finally she too a deep breath and only said - "Not here." 

Kakashi felt a sense of victory in his chest. As if he had just won the most precious prize in the world. He interlocked their fingers and pulled her close. She reached up with one hand and freed his face from the mask. He immediately kissed her. Much more passionately than before. Their kiss before was - despite being full of emotions - very careful. They tiptoed around eggshells, making sure the other really wasn't against anything they did. This was different. Their breath was heavy with lust when they finally broke apart. Kakashi pulled her towards a building she finally recognised to be her house. She pulled him back for a second. He shot her a questioning look.

"How do you know I live here?" - She asked, pushing her feelings aside as much as she could.

"I don't. I just assumed this house has a bed, and since this village is empty, nobody will mind..." - For a moment there she thought he might be remembering, but that was a false hope. She took a deep breath, not really feeling the moment anymore. Kakashi felt her resistance and stopped. - "We don't need to do this.  I don't want you to do things you don't feel like doing." - He said, letting go of her hand. She smiled.

"Would you just come and lay down with me?" - She asked. Seeing her house reminded her of the family she had left behind. Her friends. Now, all she needed was a tight hug. Kakashi nodded, bit disappointed, but completely understanding. Sakura guided him up to her room, and went to the bathroom to change into something more comfortable. She put on an oversized t-shirt and pyjama shorts, then went back to find Kakashi already under the covers. His clothes neatly folded on the chair. He lifted the covers for her to climb in. She felt a bit relieved and disappointed to find out that he still had his boxers on. He had warmed up the bed to a comfy temperature already and she felt strangely comfortable in his embrace. He kissed her forehead and tightened his arms around her a bit. He plopped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Thank you Kakashi." - she whispered into his chest. She couldn't see, but a smile sneaked to the corners of his mouth. A long time has passed since he felt loved. A long time has passed since he felt anything besides sadness, emptiness and bereavement. The soft material of her t-shirt was thin enough for him to feel her heartbeat against his chest. He was surprised when he realised that they had perfectly synchronised heartbeats. He opened his sharingan eye and looked at her. All he saw was a thin red thread tying her right pinky to his left. He had never seen such a thread before. He took a deep breath and decided to ask her about it later. 

Rich orange light illuminated the room as the sun went down. Sakura's breath became even and her lips parted a little as she fell asleep in his arms. She looked like a porcelain doll with her fair skin and her perfectly shaped cherry lips. He brushed a strand of pink hair out of her face. Even her eyelashes were this light shade of pink.  The sunset slowly turned into a cool shade of blue as the sun dipped under the horizon and the night spread across the sky. Finally, he fell asleep too, listening to her breathing.