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“Let me tell you...” Hamilton to Laurens, 16Sept1780

History of this letter: it is currently with the Massachusetts Historical Society. It may have once been in the possession of Tristram Coffin (I do not know how he came to be in possession of letters to John Laurens; see my prior post on how the 30June1780 letter came to be in possession of the Hamilton family) and perhaps donated to them. The MHS may have more details about how they came to acquire this letter.

I do not know when this letter first makes an appearance in Hamilton biographies. We can be fairly certain that the Hamilton family was not in possession of this letter through the 19th century: John Church Hamilton noted (1840) that the only letter he had received in response to an inquiry was the April1779 letter from his father to Laurens, and by publication of his History of the Republic vol 2 (late 1850s-early 1860s) they had the Aug1782 letter from Laurens to Hamilton. This letter also does not appear in Henry Cabot Lodge’s Alexander Hamilton (1882) nor can I find it in his Works of Alexander Hamilton (1904-1910) or Allan McLane Hamilton’s The Intimate Life (1910), both of whom had access to the Hamilton family papers. Notably, the missing 12Sept1780 letter from Laurens to Hamilton also does not appear in any of these volumes, suggesting that it was lost well before the earliest biographies of AH supported by his family. Before any nefarious conclusion is drawn, I’ll state that an enormous number of letters are missing, including at least 30 letters to Elizabeth Schuyler/Hamilton between 1780 and 1781, and she would have been most likely to preserve her husband’s letters to her. We can also consider James McHenry’s comments on AH’s forgetfulness/carelessness with letters sent to him:

...recollecting that you are a little subject to lose [letters] by not putting them into your [pockets]...McHenry to AH, Oct1792

And that AH sometimes destroyed the letters he received:

I will willingly testify what you mention respecting Mr Cabot but having torn up your letter trusting to my memory...AH to Wolcott, 13Jun1795

It’s in some of the links below, so I’ll briefly state that AH marrying while still in military service is unusual, even rare, among his social circle. Almost everyone else waits until their military service or public duties are complete before marrying, even if it means that their courtships span years. But AH was also desperately unhappy in early 1780 - in a letter to Laurens (8Jan1780), he wrote:

I am chagrined and unhappy but I submit. In short Laurens I am disgusted with every thing in this world but yourself and very few more honest fellows and I have no other wish than as soon as possible to make a brilliant exit. ’Tis a weakness; but I feel I am not fit for this terrestreal Country.

About a month later, and after a few other recorded flirtations/romances of AH with other women during that period, Elizabeth Schuyler enters the picture (according to a letter from Kitty Livingston to Sarah Jay, ES arrived in Morristown in February 1780). By early April, their engagement is approved by her parents. Fast forward to Sept 1780, and only ten days before this letter to Laurens, AH wrote ES the following [6Sept1780]:

I was once determined to let my existence and American liberty end together. My Betsey has given me a motive to outlive my pride...

AH’s disgust with the operation of the army and repeated refusals to give him a rank and command commensurate with his abilities/experience continues, but now at least he has an alternative, the opportunity to make another life-plan. Indeed, around this time he is planning a 6+ month leave from the army following his wedding, which they were at this time anticipating for early November at the latest. Philip Schuyler is in and out of headquarters, likely contributing to the wedding talk, and McHenry also likely composes and send his wedding poem to AH at this time. In the above 6Sept1780 letter to ES is also where he composed these lines subsequently crossed out:

Do you know my sensations when I see the sweet characters from your hand? Yes you do, by comparing [them] with your [own] for my Betsey [loves] me and is [acquainted] with all the joys of fondness. [Would] you [exchange] them my dear for any other worthy blessings? Is there any thing you would put in competition[,] with one glowing [kiss] of [unreadable], anticipate the delights we [unreadable] in the unrestrained intercourses of wedded love, and bet your heart joins mine in [fervent] [wishes] to heaven that [all obstacles] and [interruptions] May [be] speedily [removed].

So this is what we have of AH’s headspace re ES around this time: romantic, quite lustful, eager to be married to her.

Before my analysis, I encourage comparison to the content, tone and language in AH’s letter to Laurens of 12Sept1780. Especially towards the end of that letter, AH is notably direct about his feelings and emotions, even confessional. This is the emotionally honest AH, complaining about the conditions of the army.

Yet AH wrote Laurens again only four days later, having received a letter that he must have felt he needed to promptly respond to: “I wrote you fully by the post and have just time to tell you that I have received your letter of the 8th.” In this 16Sept1780 letter, AH is friendly, but the confessional aspect is missing. Whatever was in that 8Sept1780 letter has upset him a bit, which we will see below. Breaking it down:

I wrote you fully by the post and have just time to tell you that I have received your letter of the 8th.1 & that tomorrow morning I set out with the General for Hartford to an interview with the French General and Admiral.2 My hopes increase, that Guichen is coming to enable us to act.3 For your own sake, for my sake, for the public sake, I shall pray for the success of the attempt4 you mention; that you may have it in your power to act with us. But if you should be disappointed, bear it like a man; and have recourse, neither to the dagger, nor to the poisoned bowl, nor to the rope.

AH is urging Laurens to not attempt an honorable death, and in poetic terms. If suicide was AH’s serious concern, I doubt he would phrase it so cutely: “the poisoned bowl.” I also don’t think the rest of the letter would continue in the tone or with the content it does, with the frequent references to AH’s fiancee and his wedding.

That you can speak only of your private affairs shall be no excuse for your not writing frequently. Remember that you write to your friends, and that friends have the same interests, pains, pleasures, sympathies; and that all men love egotism.

AH is reminding Laurens to write - to his friends - which I do not think he’d spend time doing if he were seriously concerned Laurens was suicidal.

In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for my friends [above insert] you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; - a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now.

This is the first (and only) letter where AH refers to Laurens’ impatience to see him married. Within the context of what was going on in early September - McHenry sending the poem to AH about his wedding, AH discussing his planned leave, AH expressing elsewhere that marriage and military service should not mix - also see this post also linked below on “Empire of Hymen” - I suspect talk about AH’s upcoming wedding - which they had at this time planned for late October/early November - had reached Laurens.

We can only guess that there was a “hurry up and get married so you cease to be preoccupied with your wedding to her and can focus on Army/public goals” notion in the missing 8Sept1780 letter, perhaps also in response to AH’s 12Sept1780 letter where he was clearly openly expressing his troubles. Perhaps Laurens felt once AH was married to ES, his frustration would lessen, although we cannot be sure. In this conjecture, I am informed by both Laurens’ and the Marquis de Lafayette’s examples of husbands who certainly placed military duty over matrimony. But does AH share this belief? AH expressed the following sentiments to ES (20Jul1780): “I hope for a decisive campaign. No one will desire it more than me; for a military life is now grown insupportable to me because it keeps me from all my soul holds dear.”

Next phrase:

a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted [missing prepositional phrase] than I am now.

Notice the “as if” - as in, it’s really bizarre that this would be suggested. Based on the sentence structure, there are three things that could be the object of this phrase:

1. “a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted to the public than I am now.” We already know he intends to be less devoted to the public - this is repeated by him in letters often enough during this time and the next two years.

2. “a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted to you than I am now.” Getting married will naturally reflect less devotion to Laurens, so it’s hardly a strange cure. It would be a very obvious (attempt at) a cure, nothing “strange” about it. Further, I don’t see evidence that AH showed much devotion to Laurens post-ES’s entrance into AH’s life. I think the strongest reason for this interpretation is that “you” [Laurens] is the last in the list.

But there’s also another problem with this interpretation - AH wrote “In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for my friends [above insert] you; so your impatience...” The “you” is edited in by AH (we assume). AH probably initially wrote that sentence as follows:

In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for my friends; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; - a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now.

I don’t think it’s likely he was arguing that matrimony would be a strange cure to devotion to his friends, either. (AH will plead in letters to his friends dated from 1781 and 1782 that either his matrimonial occupations or family matters or his studies to support his family have delayed his writing to them.) But the [you] as an insert above the sentence makes the argument that he was referring to Laurens specifically even more doubtful when he wrote the full sentence.

3. “a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted to her than I am now.” Unusual sentence structure apparent, “to her” is the only logical reading of this phrase. The usual promise of matrimony is to be devoted to one’s spouse - it’s a “strange cure” to suggest that matrimony would make one less devoted. Marrying ES certainly would be a “strange cure” to devotion to her. AH is writing that he still has a part for the public and for friends Laurens so there’s no reason to be impatient about his wedding, but getting married will be no cure for a devotion to ES. About a year later, AH writes to EH that he’s not even factoring in the public anymore and intends to “[devote] myself wholly to you.”

I have noticed how often the very next line is skipped in books although it’s a context clue for the prior sentence. But it starts “Let me tell you,” i.e., make special note of this; let me make this clear to you; this is important:

Let me tell you, that I intend to restore the empire of Hymen and that Cupid is to be his prime Minister.

AH is expressing the type of marriage that he plans to have - one of strong romantic/erotic attachment within the “sacred ties” of matrimony that Hymen binds. He is telling Laurens to take note that his marriage will fit within the ideals of the companionate marriage: AH intends to restore the land of the god of marriage (Hymen), where the god of love/romance (Cupid) will lead. Hymen and Cupid were common images of an ideal companionate marriage - Hymen joins the partners in sacred bands; Cupid ensures their romantic/erotic attachment to each other. People had jewelry (wedding bracelet ca NYC 1785), medallions, even performances with persons costumed as Cupid and Hymen as part of their wedding celebrations. The chaste, morally scrupulous John Adams used the phrase “Cupid by Hymen was crown’d” to express this ideal of marriage and romantic love joined. Humorous and somewhat bawdy poems were written expressing fear that Cupid and Hymen would not be attendants to one’s marriage (leading to an indifferent sex life), or Cupid kindling the torch of Hymen (ensuring love and romance within marriage).

Laurens would have gotten the reference right away. Once one understands the Cupid and Hymen reference, it’s even more obvious that the object of devotion in the prior sentence is ES.

AH is also making clear - let me tell you - that his marriage is not a cynical endeavor just so he can rise in station through a family connection, but one that he intends to fit to the ideal marriage. In the next several lines, AH continues to present Laurens with images of his own attachment and partnership with ES. [An aside: “Cupid and Hymen” was also the title of a published 1775 fable by Thomas Paine or Philip Freneau (authorship unclear) that was an attempt at allegory to the British and its colonies.]

I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania.

One could think this is a bawdy reference, and for awhile I thought AH meant it in a “violation of religious obligations” sense (since he is using other religious terms in this and other letters to Laurens), but considering AH’s other usages of the word “transgress,” I think he simply meant to do something illegal - violate parole.

I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.

I think there’s some wordplay in “after the fall”, referencing religious terminology - echoing the fall of man because of a woman - that reflects phrases he’s used in letters to Laurens re ES before, “my doom,” “guilty,” “confess my sins.” AH is trying to get some wordplay about the time of year and his “fall” into this relationship with ES that also makes him unworthy to be a soldier (or weak, as McHenry described it). The sentiment is similar to one who uses about a month later in a letter to ES:

I would not have you imagine Miss that I write to you so often either to gratify your wishes or to please your vanity; but merely to indulge myself and to comply with that restless propensity of my mind, which will not allow me to be happy when I am not doing something in which you are concerned. This may seem a very idle disposition in a philosopher and a soldier; but I can plead illustrious examples in my justification. Achilles had liked to have sacrificed Greece and his glory to his passion for a female captive; and Anthony lost the world for a woman. AH to ES, 13Oct1780

I have written about final consummation a lot, as it has specific meaning that is not “sexual consummation.” To summarize, the meaning of this sentence, using the final consummation metaphor, is “I would invite you after the fall [of man because of a woman] to Albany to witness [the end of the world/the consummation of all things in Christ].” AH is drawing a sharp line between his life pre- and post-nuptials - emphasizing how it will be forever changed in a manner comparable to major religious events in the Christian tradition - actually comparing it to the culminating event of unity between God and the world in Christian belief. He’s also taking the opportunity to reference his wedding and invite Laurens to witness this change, possibly in case he has any doubts about AH’s sincerity for his life-changing marriage.

My Mistress is a good girl, and already loves you because I have told her you are a clever fellow and my friend; but mind, she loves you a l’americaine not a la françoise.

AH states that ES is a good partner for him and lets Laurens know that he has already disclosed his friendship with Laurens to ES (he refers to Laurens as “My Laurens” in an earlier letter to her); and he’s bragging here about how much influence he has over ES (she loves you because I’ve told her you are clever and you are my friend) and showing their unity in these matters. AH is also letting Laurens know that her love for the latter is not romantic/sexual. But with the Hymen/Cupid use, the “consummation” reference, and the reference to “Schuyler’s black eyes” - noting something he finds attractive about her - AH could have just written “In spite of Miss Schuyler,...” - AH shows how much HE thinks about romantic/sexual engagement with ES (which we already know from his letters to her from this period, in addition to the reference about how sexually pleasing ES is to him in his 30June1780 letter to Laurens). AH was also jealous at the thought of another man watching her sleep in his own dream and wanted her sister to report on every flirtation. He had some pretty strict notions of chastity and fidelity for ES.

Adieu, be happy, and let friendship between us be more than a name

A Hamilton

The General & all the lads send you their love [skipping the post-script]

AH’s sign-off, if Laurens hadn’t already gotten the point throughout the entire letter, is also a pretty strong “Be happy, you’re my friend and let’s not be men who just call each other friends.” With all of its allusions to life-changing events, romantic/sexual love in marriage, and references to ES, this letter is providing Laurens with AH’s framework of his life moving forward. AH felt this was so important for Laurens to understand that he provided a response only four days after his prior letter, likely because he knows (or suspects - we are really missing a lot by missing the earlier letter) that Laurens has heard about AH’s planned lengthy leave, his thoughts (with Meade) about leaving the army entirely, and so on.

Given the timing of this letter, AH clearly thinks that two things are important to tell Laurens- 1) that his own marriage is not some cynical endeavor and it will take priority in his life; 2) that Laurens will continue to have a role to play as his friend.

However, AH is evading directly telling Laurens about his (now seriously wavering) commitment to continuing with the military duties he currently has, and public life (although this was perhaps in another letter, now lost). AH wants to get a command and then get out and go about the business of supporting a family with ES. All these references to his marriage and relationship with ES show where his focus is, while not outright revealing his career and life plans - take an extended leave, get married, study the law, try to get a command*, then leave the army - that he does in his letters to others. I speculate that he’s concerned that Laurens will be, at the least, disappointed in him, which is also reflected in all the dire language in this and the June letter to Laurens about guilt and doom, confessing his sins, the fall of man and the end of the world. His fear that Laurens will think less of him is very real; thus, all the emphasis on their friendship, while not confessing outright his plans to leave the army entirely if he doesn’t get his way. After about two years of disappointments, AH is enticingly close to the solution to many of his problems, both personal and professional, and analytically-driven as he was, has formulated a new life plan that puts him in a different sphere from Laurens.

There have been questions raised about why this letter isn’t quoted in every recent biography of AH to communicate something about his relationship with Laurens. My response is that once one understands the references, it’s not that interesting of a letter except for AH’s wordplay and use of mythological/religious allusions. The statements he makes here are consistent with the statements he makes in his letters to ES in 1780 and through the following year - there are numerous other examples of him writing emotionally about his marriage, his feelings for ES and his devotion to her, and how life-changing her entrance into his has been and the plan he hatches to get his way/get out of the army. Flexner quotes this letter, but also includes an insert: “a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted [to her] than I am now.” There are others that cut off the quote before “Let me tell you,” I suspect because the author doesn’t know the allusion.

Back to the beginning of this letter, considering how AH goes on to Laurens with references to his wedding and feelings for ES, it’s difficult to believe he really thought Laurens was suicidal - the expression seems more poetic than anything.

Links to prior posts, some already linked above:

AH on marriage Part 1, Part 2, engagement timeline, Part 3, Part 4, more about AH, McHenry, and Pope, AH telling JL about his engagement and the timeline, some more about AH/Laurens and public service , AH’s views that marriage and military service should not mix that links most of the other posts too.

*AH’s desire to have proved himself in combat remains, likely because he sees that his influence in his future career will be embellished by having been a war hero. Here are some references:

Sometime last fall when I spoke to your Excellency about going to the Southward, I explained to you candidly my feelings with respect to military reputation, and how much it was my object to act a conspicuous part in some enterprise that might perhaps raise my character as a soldier above mediocrity. AH to GW 22Nov1780

You know I shall hate to be nominally a soldier. AH to Greene, 19Apr1781

He would remain a hawk throughout his life.

#Alexander Hamilton #Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton #John Laurens #18th century correspondence

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