Au Réveil
Au réveil — upon waking.
Was sixteen hours without sleep enough to hallucinate, Tobio wonders, because the tall blond waiting in the Arrivals Hall of Narita International couldn’t really be there.
Story rating: T (cross-posted to AO3)
tags: tsukikage, canonverse AU, post timeskip, manga spoilers
Was sixteen hours without sleep enough to hallucinate, Tobio wonders, because the tall blond waiting in the Arrivals Hall of Narita International couldn’t really be there.
Could he?
Tobio doesn’t remember telling anyone other than Miwa his flight number, and that’s because she’s pushy and paranoid and keeps the flight tracker open on her laptop until he’s safely back on terra firma every damn time.
“Good, you’re here,” the vision says and oh speaking hallucinations couldn’t be a good sign. “Do you remember which baggage claim your flight is going to?” But Tsukishima is already standing, long body unfolding into his consistently-impressive 195-centimeter frame and moving to stand in front of a status board. He checks his phone for something before looking back up, eyes darting quickly over the list of flights and their designated carousels.
“Umm,” Tobio manages to get out, still trying to reconcile himself with what must be a lucid dream because there’s no way that Tsukishima Kei is here for him.
“Seventeen,” Tsukishima says, nodding in confirmation to himself before moving towards the large “17” sign hanging from the ceiling. “C’mon, King. Let’s get your shit and go home.”
Which — what? Home? Did he — did he mean Tobio’s apartment in Tokyo or Tsukishima’s in Sendai or their family homes back in the Miyagi countryside? The latter’s the closest he’s ever had to a ‘home’ with Tsukishima — memories of study parties and movie nights and sleepovers at any of the Karasuno 5’s houses flooding in — but a ‘home’ with Tsukishima was a daydream come true.
Too bad this is all only happening in the recesses of his mind.
Except —
Except when Tobio reaches out to touch him, brushes the tips of his fingers against the the thick wool covering the blond’s obnoxiously attractive elbow, Tsukishima doesn’t disappear in a puff of smoke or collapse in a pile of dust.
He feels real.
He feels real and looks back at Tobio with golden eyes and a quirked eyebrow.
“Yes?” he asks.
Tobio says nothing, shaking his head and hurrying to catch up.
He’s beginning to question his sanity because Tsukishima insists on rolling Tobio’s suitcase to what he clearly remembers is Yamaguchi’s car, putting the luggage in the trunk before folding himself into the driver’s seat. Tobio sits next to him in the passenger seat and if this were a dream, wouldn’t they fit in the car a little better? As it stands, the blond seems like he barely fits behind the steering wheel, hair brushing the felted lining of the car and knees sticking up over the gear box.
Tobio adjusts the seat to be as far back as it can and it’s better than the plane — infinitely better, with the radio playing and the smell of Japan and fresh air (as fresh as it can be, in a car in the parking lot of Tokyo’s major international airport) and Tsukishima Kei to his right — but his knees still brush against the glove compartment every time he shifts his hips.
Tsukishima starts the car and puts it in reverse. Tobio reaches out to touch the hand resting on the gear shift, long fingers and a smattering of fine spun-gold hair, and it occurs to him to ask, “Where are we going?”
Pale features turn towards him once again, and the look on his face is soft. Not fully a smile but more than neutral and while Tobio had evidence that this was real, the fondness written around those golden eyes had to be a dream.
“Your apartment,” he answers. “Unless there’s somewhere else?”
“No,” Tobio responds, settling into the seat. The car is pleasantly warm without being stuffy and though the car is small, he is comfortable. Soft music plays through the speakers and he’s drifting off, awake for far too long and seven time-zones out of sorts. “I’ll go wherever you take me.”
He doesn’t realize he’s intertwined their fingers.
~*~
The man sitting next to him is beautiful, Kei thinks, even though he’s spent the better part of the past 24 hours traveling and is not his freshest. Kageyama Tobio is a vision, an absolute dream, and he’s sitting just to his left, no more than a foot or so away, and Kei isn’t sure he’s realized he laced their fingers together.
Kageyama’s hand is unsurprisingly warm, the callouses on his palm rubbing pleasantly against the back of Kei’s as he changes gears, navigating out of the parking lot to the highway.
The man asleep in the passenger seat next to him is beautiful, even as his head lolls to the side, lips slightly parted, snoring lightly from the awkward angle of his neck. He is beautiful and Kei is fairly certain he is in love. He had his suspicions when he asked Miwa for his flight information in the course of casual conversation as she cut his hair. He had his suspicions when he asked Yamaguchi if he could borrow his car, a plan already half-formed in the back of his mind. Those suspicions were confirmed when he looked up from his phone to check the arrivals status board for the umpteenth time, eager to get on with whatever this was, only to lock eyes with a hauntingly familiar blue gaze.
Tobio hadn’t talked much — he never did, really, always more expressive through actions — but Kei’s heart leapt when Tobio reached out to touch him.
The man who slotted their fingers together before dozing off is beautiful and Kei is pretty certain he loves him, and has an inkling that maybe Tobio loves him too.
It should feel sudden, it should feel abrupt and like an earthquake or a tsunami or volcanic eruption. The realization should irrevocably change him, like there is a Kei-Before-Tobio and a Kei-After-Tobio but Kei realizes that the realization hardly changes anything at all, that the Before and After versions of himself happened a long time ago.
The man sitting next to him is beautiful and Kei thinks that he’s probably been in love with him for a while now. Kei thinks that maybe, just maybe, Tobio has been waiting for Kei to realize it too, given the sweetly sleepy way he told him he’d follow Kei anywhere in not so many words.
He doesn’t fully know what he’s doing — the plan was still only half-formed when he left for Tokyo earlier that morning, wanting to see Kageyama first and play it by ear — and he’s glad that Kageyama’s not awake to see him internally panic over his next steps. Those blue eyes always saw more of Kei than he intended to share.
The hand on top of his twitches and he takes a deep breath, inhaling until his rib cage protests and letting it all out in a whoosh. The stretch of his diaphragm provides a nice counter to the strangle-hold his emotions have around his heart.
For now, there’s only one course of action: drive to Kageyama’s apartment. Only time would dictate his next move. Well, time and Kageyama.
Kei isn’t good with rolling with the punches, too accustomed to analyzing details and playing the long game. But Kageyama has always made him act rashly and all of his meticulous planning hasn’t gotten him anywhere so far.
It’s both too far and not long enough before he’s pulling in to the parking lot and shaking Kageyama awake.
~*~
Tobio is confused about the dream-ness of this all because he thinks he fell asleep in a car with Tsukishima outside the airport but now he’s waking up with Tsukishima in a car outside his apartment. Waking up from a dream within a dream is not something he’s ever done before. He wonders if Yachi would know if it’s possible, since the only other person he would think to ask is sitting next to him, and he doesn’t want to clue Tsukishima in to the fact he has no idea what’s happening.
Cause whatever is going on? He likes it. He likes the Tsukishima that shows up unannounced at the airport for him, he likes that Tsukishima got a car to drive him, he likes waking up to a gentle nudge coupled with a, “we’re home.”
He likes it a lot and would prefer it not to end. Tsukishima was like a wild animal in that regard, though — easily startled and highly likely to revert back to better-established behaviors.
And then he’s being herded into an elevator and down a hallway and through his front door and he’s home, as much as this can be home considering he’s only here for roughly five months of the year.
He’s hungry, tired and smelly, equally tempted by the shower, bed and prospect of dinner. Tsukishima pushes him towards the bathroom.
“Clean up. I’ll cook us something.”
And Tobio rolls with it. Pointing out how out of character this all was would be akin to asking ‘why’ and he didn’t want to venture into that territory.
He pulls a clean set of lounge clothes from his bag and heads to bathe.
As an athlete, Tobio has learned to relish the burn in his lungs and ache in his muscles associated with a good workout or productive practice — they’re signs of progress, of steps forward towards his goals. But nothing ever quite compares to a hot shower, whether after a game, a run or a flight.
Near-scalding water beats down on his head, neck and back and while he feels more relaxed than he has since he last went to sleep in Rome nearly 30 hours prior, the exhaustion and aches associated with sitting in the same small seat for prolonged periods of time are making themselves known.
He presses his forehead against the cool tile of the shower stall, trying to get his bearings in between washing his hair and body. Facts, as they currently stood, were as follows:
Tsukishima Kei met him at the airport, which required him to have found out from Miwa when exactly his flight was.
Tsukishima Kei met him at the airport with Yamaguchi’s car, which meant he had driven the more-than-five hours from Sendai instead of just taking the train.
Tsukishima Kei met him at the airport and drove him ‘home’, to Tobio’s Tokyo apartment, where he is now making them dinner while Tobio presses his head against the wall, trying to determine if this whole thing is a dream.
Tact and deductive reasoning — key for navigating this situation — have unfortunately never been his strongest suits. His setter hands, normally so dexterous, are more likely to fumble this blown-glass-delicate thing they’ve built over the past two hours.
He finishes up and heads back to the kitchen.
~*~
Kageyama steps out of the hallway with sweatpants slung low around his hips, a towel slung around his neck and if not for the exhaustion written into every plane of his overly-pretty face, he’d be the manifestation of Kei’s wet dreams.
He ambles over to the island, leaning against the counter near to where Kei is stirring miso soup.
“You’re still here,” he says. He sounds like he doesn’t believe it.
Kei checks on the rice cooker before meeting Kageyama’s gaze. “I said I’d make dinner, didn’t I?”
“I thought…” he trails off, looking off to the side.
“Thought what, King?” Kei prods.
“Thought I’d imagined it. This. You, here.”
“You thought you imagined me driving you home?” he teases but, truth be told, Kei’s heart has been racing since he heard the water shut off. The only task left on their to-do list for the day was ‘talk’.
Kageyama shoots him a deadpan sapphire stare, then lets his head drop forward. He grunts at the stretch. Kei wants to reach over, dig his fingers into the muscles presented to him.
“I’m — leave me alone, I’m tired.”
“You can go to sleep,” Kei says, “I’ll stick this in the fridge.”
“No!” Kageyama reaches out a hand, wrapping long fingers around Kei’s wrist. “No. I…is it almost ready? I’m hungry.”
The rice cooker chimes that it’s done and Kei shoots him a soft smile. He pulls away, plates the food and brings it over to the table with a pitcher of water. Kageyama isn’t sitting down yet so Kei turns to look for him.
He’s closer than Kei anticipates, within arms reach and Kei sees his hand outstretched but low, aiming for the hem of his own sweater.
“You’re really here?”
Kei’s breath catches in his throat. There’s a naked vulnerability in Kageyama’s eyes that makes him swallow, pause and relent even though most of his instincts are yelling for either flight or defensive tactics. For all that he’s supposedly good with words, these don’t come easily to him. He wants many things: to eat, because he is hungry; to run, because he has never traversed difficult conversations with grace; to kiss the man in front of him and welcome him ‘okaeri’, because his heart finally, finally understands what it wants after years of denial.
If only they could step into the relationship without the requisite preamble. If only they could regain the time they’d lost to foolishness.
“Yeah,” he says, voice more of a whisper than any substantial thing. “Yeah, I’m really here.”
“How long are you staying?” As long as I can, Kei thinks. As long as you’ll let me. “The night? It’s late for you to drive back.”
Kei can’t suppress the small smile that overtakes his face. He huffs a laugh.
“I’m not sure I’ll fit on your couch, King.”
They both look at the sofa, broken-in but more decorative than anything and definitely far too small for Kei’s lanky frame.
“Then you’ll have to sleep in the bed,” Kageyama says, taking a tentative step closer.
Kei bites the inside of his cheek, wrapping an arm around Kageyama’s waist and pulling him in closer.
“I guess I’ll have to,” he says, like it’s not a dream come true.
You're in a car with a beautiful boy,
and he won't tell you that he loves you,
but he loves you.
Richard Siken
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Tsukkikage - colored pens
"It's this one."
"It is not. That clearly says thick felt-tipped pens."
"Was that not the one we're looking for?"
"No, you dumbass." Kei pushes his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose. They've been standing in this art supply store for the past hour, bickering over the coloured pens section. He should have brought Yamaguchi. At least he would have been able to tell the highlighters and markers apart. But when Kei had complained about this stupid situation, all Yamaguchi had done was laugh. So maybe it's better Kei didn't bring him along. He's suffering enough as it is.
Kageyama is holding up two different packs of pens now. His pout is more pronounced when he's confused. It makes Kei twitch with how much he wants to press his finger to the other boy's mouth.
"Are you sure Yachi-san had these ones? Why do they look so different?"
"You're the one who broke them."
"You used them, too!"
"I used them gently, unlike someone."
"How do you use pens gently, that makes no sense."
Kei turns his face up, feeling the familiar urge to taunt grip him. "Not everyone can be an artist, huh."
Kageyama frowns at him. "I'm not an artist. I'm a volleyball player."
This boy, clumsy off the court and the most beautiful thing he's ever seen inside those white lines, something about him makes Kei lose his braincells every single time.
Kei grabs the pack in Kageyama's right hand. "Yeah, I got that, King. Let's get out of here."
"Don't call me that." Instead of protesting, Kageyama follows Kei to the counter. He doesn't say anything while they pay for the new pack of coloured pens, not until they're outside in the evening air. Then, out of nowhere, as if this is the natural trajectory of their interactions, as if this was always the plan, he goes, "What do you want to eat for dinner?"
Kei stares at him. Kageyama stares back. "What?"
"You're not hungry?" Kageyama says. "I am. Let's go eat before we head back." And then he turns and starts walking, clearly expecting Kei to follow.
Kei stares for a moment longer. His stomach rumbles. He looks at the pack of coloured pens, swinging in a bag from Kageyama's hand. He sighs.
By the time Kageyama turns back to look at him, Kei has already caught up, matching him stride for stride.
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💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss - Tsukishima x Hinata or Tsukishima x Kageyama? Totally fine if no!
send a heart and a ship for a brief snippet
(is 950 words brief? idk and idc cause, if you've been around much you know, i do what i want. also, why chose when i can do both?)
Kageyama is waiting for him to finish changing after the neighborhood game — a game he let Kageyama talk in into joining because he is so absolutely gone for this idiot — because he knows that Kei doesn’t really like walking home alone after the games, that he gets too lost in his own mind going over mistakes and whatnot even though it’s just a silly neighborhood game. So Kageyama waits for him even though they live in opposite parts of town and it takes him twice as long to get back home after games simply because he waits for Kei.
Kageyama doesn’t even look up when Kei stops next to him at the bench. He just holds out his hand for Kei’s bag — another ridiculous thing he does that Kei lets him do because he doesn’t understand Kageyama’s need to do things like this except he does but that’s too much thinking for right now — and wriggles his fingers when Kei doesn’t immediately hand it over.
Kei can’t think about it. Because if he thinks about it he’ll talk himself out of it like the hundreds of other times he’s had the urge and thought just a little too hard about it. Which is easier said than done because he thinks about everything. He’s not impulsive. He doesn’t just go with his instincts, no matter how good those instincts tend to be.
Well. That’s a lie. His instincts are pretty spot on when he has the right people at his back and side. People he can trust. People who trust him just as much as he trusts them.
That’s the thought that finally convinces him that next time he feels like this, the next time the warmth bubbles up in his chest, he’ll give in and just do it.
So he does.
Kei nudges Kageyama’s foot and steps between his legs when Kageyama widens them, going along with Kei’s whims even though this is nothing they’ve done before. Kageyama glances up at him finally, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion, and Kei leans down and kisses him.
Kageyama kisses him back.
It’s different with Hinata, it always is. But at the same time, somehow, it’s not all that different at all.
He’s waiting outside Kageyama’s apartment for the both of them. They’re going to some party for one of Hinata’s teammates and Kei only vaguely remembers the reasons for the party let alone the convoluted reasoning that Hinata had come up with for why Kei, of all people, needs to come with. He’s halfway through a message to Kenma about their plans for next month when he hears the familiar pounding of Hinata’s feet along the steps and then Hinata is hanging from his back, trying to wrestle his phone away from him.
It’s easier to just let Hinata take it. He doesn’t even bother looking to see what Hinata adds to the message before sending it and then shoving Kei’s phone into his own pocket. Kenma is just as used to Hinata inserting himself into their conversations these days as Kei is.
He looks down at Hinata’s grin and, just like with Kageyama, he doesn’t let himself think about it this time. Doesn’t let himself hesitate or doubt.
It’s different, because Hinata is already stretching up towards him.
It’s the same, because Hinata kisses him back.
If Kageyama is surprised to see Hinata sprawled on his couch when they get back from a neighborhood game he doesn’t show it. He just shakes the bags in his hand to get Hinata’s attention and nods toward the kitchen counter. Hinata hops up with a grin and hurries to join Kageyama at the counter. Kei finishes taking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket before he flops down on the couch Hinata had just vacated. There’s food but he’s never too hungry until much later after games. He knows that Kageyama will stick his food in the fridge for later.
He hears them bickering behind him but he doesn’t really pay attention until Hinata goes suspiciously quiet. He turns and peeks over the back of the couch just as Hinata quietly asks, “What do you mean I have my own?”
“This is mine and Tsukishima’s. Yours is in the other bag.”
“What?”
“What do you mean what? I’m eating mine. Tsukishima’s goes in the fridge for later. Yours is in the other bag for you to do whatever with.”
“You bought me food?”
Kageyama looks past Hinata and meets Kei’s gaze but he can only shrug because he’s not sure what Hinata’s point is either.
“We always buy you food,” Kei says, turning back to the tv.
“You didn’t even know I would be here, that I would be back today.”
“We never do. Still buy you the food anyway. You never noticed before?”
Kageyama lets out a startled noise from the kitchen and before Kei can even turn to look Hinata is leaning over the couch and planting a kiss on his cheek, just shy of his lips.
“You two are the best,” Hinata says, breath warming Kei’s cheek.
Kei turns enough to return the kiss and then watches Hinata push off from the couch and hurry back into the kitchen. Hinata leaps at Kageyama and starts peppering his face with kisses when Kageyama catches him.
When he finally finds his balance and manages to get one of his hands up to catch Hinata’s chin, Kageyama kisses Hinata. Kei shakes his head and turns back to the tv again, patting around on the couch for the remote. He won’t interrupt them. If they’re too busy making out then he can pick the movie for once.
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