#Tuneful Trio (AU verse)

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Autumn Embers Verse

Omegaverse AU where people who are compatible have complementary scents.

Your friends assure you that the bar they’re dragging you to is nicer than it looks online. You highly doubt that, but you’re willing to go along until the three of them get bored and decide to get a car to the club district. And they will get bored, because you recognize the name and address that they’re trying to go to. You’ve never been, but some of your new coworkers on the base have invited you out for drinks and pool.

When Christie flounces out in a bright pink mini-dress, you can’t help but grin. “You look great. Super cute. But I don’t think that’s the vibe of the bar.”

Admittedly, you’re dressed a bit less conservatively than the bar might call for. But you feel cute in your black skater skirt and white top. Styled with floral lace stockings, boots, and silver jewelry, it’s more dressing up than you’ve been able to do in the last 6 months.

“I’m not dressing for the military bar,” Christie says, checking her makeup in the hall mirror before dropping on the couch next to you. She tosses her brown hair over one shoulder and pulls out her phone to order a car. “I’m dressing for when Mel and Jack decide they’re done shopping for alphas and want to go to the club.”

“Military packs are already cohesive,” Jack sniffs, emerging from the hall in cute jeans, a mesh top, and a sensible jacket. Behind him, Mel is dressed very similarly, though they’ve opted for cargo pants. “It’s not impossible that we might find a couple of someones who might be interesting.”

“If nothing else, they’ll buy you drinks,” you concede. “Pretty sure they have pool tables. If there’s one open, maybe we play a couple of rounds. Give Jack a chance to bend over and show off.”

The car, when it arrives, is a little small, but the four of you pile in gamely. You sit in the front, since your hips need the room. The driver gives a smile and a nod through his cloth mask and starts driving as soon as your seatbelt is secure. You reflexively drop the window a bit, though it’s already open. It makes sense - driving groups around all night definitely lends itself to a lot of conflicting scents.

In the back, Chrissy’s floral omega scent plays well with Jack and Mel’s sweet beta and omega mix. The very subtle floral notes of your own scent don’t clash too badly, but the base note of charcoal does sometimes leave people’s noses a bit confused. You catch the moment the driver catches a hint of your scent and darts a look at you, but he doesn’t say anything. You occupy yourself on your phone for the fifteen minute drive, tuning out Chrissie and Jack’s complaints about work.

When you arrive, the bar is just about what you expected. Run-down in a lived-in kind of way but clean. Dim and quiet. The exact opposite of Jack and Chrissie, but that doesn’t stop them from swanning in through the doors and making their way immediately to the bar. You and Mel follow behind. You make eye contact with a couple of people you kind of recognize, give a quirk of a smile as a greeting.

By the time you’ve decided what to drink, Chrissie and Jack have already charmed a trio of alphas into conversation and a promised game of pool. Mel leans into Jack’s back and introduces themself in their quiet way. You give your name with a wave before ordering a whiskey sour.

“Put their drinks on our tab,” one of the alphas says. He holds his hand out to you to shake. “Daniels. I’ve seen you on base before, yeah?”

“I’ve been working admin for a couple of months,” you confirm as you shake his hand. He’s polite enough not to try to rub wrists on a first meeting, at least. His scent reminds you of the bakery near your house. “It’s not a bad job.”

Once everyone has their drinks and the group makes their way over to one of the open pool tables, you think you could have a pretty good night. Daniels and his friends, Bennet and Bakshi, are actually pretty fun. They’re obviously flirting with Chrissie and Jack (and Mel, by extension), but they’re not ignoring you. Daniels and Bakshi, at least, include you in the conversation and ask questions about your job, how you all know each other, where you’re from.

When Bakshi manages to pull Mel into a conversation about video games and cyber security, you and Chrissie excuse yourselves to the restroom.

“I should have worn jeans,” she sighs. “This is really fun, but kind of a waste of an outfit.”

You’re about to laugh when you pass by a table and make eye contact with a man you’ve only seen in passing before. You recognize Sergent MacTavish by his mohawk, and give him a little half smile. Then you notice Captain Price and Sergent Garrick. The blond in a skull themed cloth mask can only be Lieutenant Riley. You give all four of them a startled little nod of acknowledgment, and then Chrissie is tugging you into the bathroom.

You’ve never met anyone from Task Force 141 before. Any time you’ve heard of them, at least two have been sent off somewhere across the world. You don’t have the clearance to deal with any of their reports, but you know enough to understand that they’re practically rock stars.

“Five quid, Jack and Mel have all three of their numbers by the end of the night,” Chrissie interrupts your musing as she checks her makeup in the mirror. As usual, she’s perfect, and you hear her take a selfie.

“Ten quid, Bennet asks for yours,” you counter from the stall.

“No bet, he’s already asked.” Chrissie answers. “But he’s a tool.”

“You like tools.”

“That’s true. It’s the muscles.” she agrees. “If he asks me on a proper date, I won’t say no.”

“Not a waste of a dress, then,” you point out before flushing and making your way to wash your hands. “Is he wearing scent blockers? I can’t get a bead on him.”

“He’s a subtle bit of tobacco leaf. Bakshi is nutmeg and Daniels-”

“Daniels smells like fresh bread,” you finish.

“Oh, ho, ho,” Chrissie chuckles, leaning her hip on the counter as you wash your hands. “Took notice did you?”

“We shook hands.” You roll your eyes. “Kind of hard not to notice.” When you step out of the bathroom, you’re startled to see Sergent MacTavish leaning against the wall on his phone. His eyes snap up to yours and he stands up to his full height. He’s bigger than you expected, and you find yourself helpless to hold his stare. When he smiles, you feel yourself flush.

“Evenin’, bonnie lass,” he says, after a moment. “C’n I get a moment of your time?”

Chrissie practically skips the couple of steps away to stand at the entrance of the hall leading to the bathrooms. She doesn’t quite abandon you with a strange alpha, but she does turn her back and pull out her phone.

Before you can comment on her absence, or introduce yourself, or even think about what to say, MacTavish has stepped close. His scent, something warm and earthy and somehow also floral, floods your senses. At the same time, he leans down to hover his nose just short of touching your temple. You can’t help but blush harder at how bold he’s being. The way he takes your scent into his lungs is just this side of vulgar.

“So it has been you we’ve been scenting around base,” he chuckles, taking a deliberate step back and leaning back against the wall again. He crosses big arms across his chest and smiles. “Gaz’s been tying himself in knots trying to catch more than faded hints near the caf’.”

What are you supposed to say to that? “…Sorry? I’m new to the base.”

He grins. “Well, I’m glad you’re around. Sergent MacTavish.” He doesn’t offer his hand, but considering the how rude he was before, it’s not like he needs to.

You stammer an introduction and decide to make your retreat. “It was, um, nice to meet you, Sergent. I have to get back to my friends.” “Be seeing you around, hen,” he says, and doesn’t move as you make your retreat.

As soon as you’re clear of the hall, you make the mistake of looking that the 141’s table. All of their eyes snap to your face as soon as you’re visible. You almost freeze under their attention, but Chrissie rescues you. She takes your arm and practically marches you across the bar to rejoin Jack and Mel, who immediately pull you close to drag you into some debate about music.

You can’t contribute much to the conversation. Thank goodness for Chrissie, who gleefully carries the discussion. You’re too distracted to do much more than give vague agreements for a long time.

At the end of the night, when you and your friends leave the bar, you chance a glance toward the 141’s table. Four pairs of eyes stare back.

[vivid-lite]

“Hoenn’s Big Three, The Gem Trio”

My friend and I’s AU, The Hybrid!Verse’s Hoennian Dex-Holders, Maybelle Birch, Eryn Lambert, and Brendan Stuart.  The Hybrid!Verse is basically a rewrite of the Pokémon games with elements, characters and events from the anime, manga and Spin-off’s all in one universe.

Salty (My Friend who I helped co create the Hybrid!Verse) has already posted their rewrite of SWSH, though still unfinished. Check it out here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38717934/chapters/96805962

Meanwhile, “IGNEOUS”, my rewrite of ORAS is still a MASSIVE WIP and still being polished up before the first few chapters can be posted, stay tuned for that!

(P.S; Oh my God, I just realized the Grey on Brendan’s shirt is too low and I ONLY CAUGHT THAT NOW...)

[medic88itup]

I found a rambling drabble that I slung together while on a concert cruise...imagining all the Hells falling into some kind of weird southern gothic roots folk underground music scene. I dunno, I am thinking maybe I will work on this idea a bit and write an actual something. Anyone have positive advice for a nervous non-writer?

Band au

FEARNE is a drummer, imogen is guitar/bass/utility player, and Laudna is fiddle/vocals...la Andrew Bird Trio

So, like, imagine:

First meeting, Laudna has swept into town, performing her macabre puppet show and playing her haunting lullabies on her lovingly restored fiddle. Imogen, leaving a lesson witha young student, crisses paths with Laudna in town square...steps in when a grumbly crowd of drunken sports fans spill out of a tavern, and begin to gather menacingly nesr Laudna.

It's let buzzing like a beehive in her head. she shakes her way through the din to laudna, who is packing her gear with trembling hands. Imogen, guitar slug behind her, whispers "Hey, darlin', it's okay, you just gotta play what they like. Nothing experimental or unwavering around here. Pop/country hits and hymns. You know any?"

Flustered, laudna responds, "whaa....hymns? Uh, not really..." Imogen scoffs not unkindly and asks "well, then, can you follow along with me? Accompaniment..."she gestures to laudnads fiddle case."

"I play by ear, it's no problem"

"Alright, I'll wing something, just follow me, and watch for transitions. Key of Ab."

Imogen takes up a familiar chord change, crisply struming a shining major chord. She works the crowd, making eye contact and smiling, and begins to sing words to a familiar tune, one that every townsperson seems to know. The melody is familiar and infectious, and a calm sense of happiness falls on the crowd. they all begin to sing along. As she shifts to the musical break between verses, she looks to laudna and mouths for her to come in on the next verse. Laudna begins to fill ths seams with creaky fills and trills, her fingers deftly moving through runs. Imogen drives the rest of the song to the big singalong chorus: "SWEEEEET CAROLYYYYYYYYYNE! BAH, BAH, BAAAAAH!" Laudna and imogen are amazing together, almost like they can hear each other's thoughts.

They turn a potential mob sitch into a decent busking session, earning a fair amount of silver, some gold. Imogen offers dinner at hers.

<Or something...that can be tweaked later>

Imogen turns to Laudna, slinging her guitar behind her back once again. "That was amazing, you're incredible, the way you play is so...you have so much musicality! I've never played so seemlessly with someone else."

Launda nods her head viciously in agreement. Imogen worries it might actually fall off. Laudna looks so frail and skeletal...but her enthusiastic smile nearly splits her palid face in half..."oh, my, yes darling, I agree it was amazing! And you always seemed to know what I was thinking," Imogen's eyes flick away, guiltily, "but it was lovely! you were anticipating my melodies and harmonizing beautifully...that was incredibly special, you are so capable!"

[troutfur]

Au for the Aaron and his son's verse where the Leafcrow kits are tasked with finding the power of stars prophecy (presented as 4 cats immediately instead of the 4th being a late game reveal) and immediately assume they're 3/4ths of the prophecy because they're special

Meanwhile, Mousepaw covers his ears at the crack of dawn. In a different world, Dovepaw would understand the struggles of tuning out the sounds of a sun high patrol while trying to sleep

(Aka the power of 3, but the prophecy members are all cats from outside the clans and the cats tasked with finding them are incredibly xenophobic)

OOOH! That's juicy specially if it's the Daisy kits + Firestar (I suppose it could be written off as them sharing a distant kittypet ancestor if we still want 'kin of your kin' to still hold significance?). BUT MAN, yeah. Can you imagine the three classist and xenophobic brats getting their heads all inflated with the prophecy business and then "Ooops, it's been the kids you bullied for being outsiders all along. You dicks."?

They'll be seething and Daisy's kits are gonna be so smug I bet.

I suppose we can have them as:

Berrynose gets Lionblaze's, obviously

Mousewhisker gets Dovewing's

Hazeltail gets Jayfeather's to complete the trio

ALSO! With Mousewhisker getting Dovewing's, Minnow/Mouse anyone? You know, to parallel what Dove and Tiger had going on. We can have him angsting over the unfairness that is Jaypaw getting to swap clans and have an out-of-Clan wife while he can't.

Uh, what else...? Berrynose being particularly obnoxious about his invencibility powers? He feels like the type to run his mouth on this to be perfectly honest.

Hazeltail doesn't have any thread I can pull on, at least that I can think of. Sorry, girl, blame the Erins for not giving you even crumbs I suppose.

[adeadlysong]

A Little Baking Lesson (or two)

@ribbedxgloves

“You want me to teach you baking? I shall teach you!”

Tahirah happily led Freyr to the castle kitchens. It was customary for the Countess of Melodia to personally bake some goodies for others, including Freyr and Apollymi. After Freyr had witnessed Tahirah serving Apollymi some cookies that helped with cramps and then asked about Tahirah’s baking, Tahirah was more than happy to show him how to bake.

“I feel like you’d be very good at kneading dough, that kind of thing, Freyr.” Tahirah giggled happily, practically bouncing on her heels as they entered the kitchens. “You have very strong hands. It works out! Is there...” Her emerald eyes looked up at Freyr excitedly. “Anything specific you wish to bake?”

[dannypuro]

because you asked for stuff that isn't music theory in response to that other ask you totally didn't upload like to minutes ago: Do you think any of the amis can play an instrument (or more) and if so, which (I think Grantaire can play two songs on the guitar and they are Never Gonna Give You Up and Wonderwall). P.s. I, too, am from that one Discord server, please don't think that's weird. And this is music practice, not theory

UGH you understand me. of course i have thought about this. of course i have. thank you i love you. (Something Telling verse: modern au with canon-era, time-zapped enjolras)

FIRST AND FOREMOST: the early 19th century was a time when the piano was an extremely important tool for social interaction in mid-to-high society. everybody who was anybody got a piano. it was really, really normal family entertainment, and when you went to call on another household, it was normal to play a little tune for them. so of course dear françois-marie enjolras was expected to learn to play the piano, the darling little baby of the family that he was.

HOWEVER.

this does not mean that he is any good at the piano. of course not. he is horrible and always has been, to the despair of his mother. she paid for lessons for him for ten years and STILL it is just.... painful to listen to. he should not play. he just... doesn’t really get music and it shows. his fingers are for writing, not piano-ing. one time he was invited over to a classmate’s apartment when he first got to paris and they asked him to play something and instead of facing the mortification that would come of it he simply left and never returned and never talked to them again. 

but jehan has a piano in their apartment, of course, for the vibes. and enjolras mentions the fact that he had piano lessons as a kid, just in passing, and ferre’s like “!!!!! hey!!!!! jehan has a piano!!!!!!! you should get up and play us something!!!!!!!!! play us a tune!!!!!!” and enjolras just “😞😖😬😟🙃😰p l e a s e do not ask me to do so😦😥😔😣😶😞” and is reduced to a shameful lump on the sofa until ferre lays off him. let him rest. give him peace. he is 213 years old leave him alone.

but in other news..... 

jehan plays the flute. this is actually just canon i don’t make the rules. they’re actually really good but mostly just play incomprehensible modern pieces, and also bach. this choice is not up to the listener. you get what you get and you don’t get upset. enjoy your spectralist 40-minute solo flute monstrosity quietly or leave.

i think that musichetta can play the accordion. i think that bossuet can play the banjo. i think that joly can play the clarinet. i think that together they have a stupid little bluegrass/klezmer trio that sounds questionable in concept but in reality is genuinely really good. they don’t perform anywhere, it’s just for fun. sometimes they play on the balcony or with the windows open, to mixed reviews. (the world is not ready for them yet 😔)

cosette can play the cello. cmon. of course she can. her cello vibes are through the roof. marius thinks it’s hot. he’s correct.

i think that courfeyrac actually can kind of play the piano, unlike CERTAIN people. like, he doesn’t play a lot now, but he had lessons growing up and can still play decently well. marius thinks that this is also hot. he’s correct. (RIP to marius’s little pea-brain, fried by musical talent. if courf and cosette ever played a sweet little duet he would simply perish.)

grantaire can’t really play the guitar, but he sometimes does anyways. HOWEVER, he’s actually got a decent voice.... which is a secret, except for when joly and bossuet and musichetta make him join their band for the evening and sing for a few songs. they hold his wine captive to make him stay, but that’s mostly for show--grantaire doesn’t really mind, so long as it’s a private affair and nobody records it. (courf has a recording, anyways--he shows enjolras and enjolras is..... 👁👄👁)

feuilly has the vibes of somebody who should be able to play the guitar, but he can’t. this is confusing to everybody. he does not care. he will not learn. it’s his business and he doesn’t want to. it’s not his problem.

anyways, my askbox is OPEN to questions/prompts/headcanons/etc. send me many i would like to procrastinate extra hard. xoxoxo

[bag-of-broadway-snacks]

My Cats Non-Replica Pt. 1

Here, for your viewing pleasure and no body’s request, I give you- My ideal Cats non-replica production. Now complete with drawings that make eyes bleed!  This is a part one so stay tuned and let me know what you think for 2! (Also this is long as fuck sooo)

Overture Okay, so this production is heavily based on my ragdoll au idea from very long ago. Basically, the production takes place in a little girl’s bedroom. During the overture, we see the girl who own’s the room in front of a curtain, playing with a rag doll version of Munkustrap. As the overture ends, the girl’s mother (double cast as Grizabella) moved onto stage and gestures for the girl to follow. So the girl sets her doll of Munkustrap on a chair and moves backstage. Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats So the curtain lifts revealing the set. We can see large window in the background (with functioning curtains). There’s several things around the room, a bookshelf, a toy chest, a lamp, a doll bed, a teapot, a fallen over hat, and a play tunnel.

Next to the toy chest, there’s also a chair, a bigger replica of the one we saw in the overture. Slumped over on the chair is Munkustrap, sitting seemingly still until his cue. On his cue, he perks up, looking a cross between the usual cats make up and a rag doll. He gets up as many other cat/toys appear out of various corners of the room. Before singing ‘Are you blind when you’re born?’ Munkustrap looks to the window as the curtains open, revealing a large moon in the background. Prompting the Jellicle ball. The rest of the song continues as normal. (Because there aren’t changes, the naming of the cats progresses as normal) Invitation to the Jellicle Ball So this song continues normally, Victoria dancing her solo before Misto starting up the song. In this version, I imagine the little girl will be shortly going on a trip and is allowed to bring only one toy. The Jellicle choice is to decide who will go with her. The Heaviside layer in this case being the outside world. The Old Gumbie Cat To start off the night, Munkustrap begins singing the Old Gumbie Cat, this time however, rather then a car Jennyanydots enters through the toy chest. Misto going over and undoing the latches before lifting the lid with magic. Jennyanydots is half swaddled in a large, leopard print blanket thats extremely fluffy but limited in movement. During the Gumbie Trio’s first verse she has her normal interactions with ‘The mice’ on the side of the stage. In the background, the other cats are scattering toys and paper across the stage in chaos. During the Gumbie Trio’s second verse, Jenny turns around and is shocked at the mess the others have made. Ever orderly, she throws off her blanket to reveal a leopard spot dress and a tiger stripped apron. The tap number in this case being replaced with a choreographed clean up of the room. With Jenny’s ‘Cockroaches’ who are clothed with tissue paper wings, pipe cleaner antenna, and big glasses for eyes. Once the room is clean again Jenny thanks them and the song ends.

The Rum Tum Tugger This one may be my favorite. So as Jenny’s number trails off she continues to move about the room and tidy things up. She goes up to a tipped over tea pot, preparing to put it upright before the lid is pushed off, causing her to jump in surprise. Out of the tea pot comes Rum Tum Tugger, a particularly fluffy rag doll. He looks very similar to his replica design with a few differences. His spots are more obvious and patchy looking, giving us the idea that he’s even worn and repaired with leopard cloth by the child’s mother. Around one leg his tied a pink ribbon and his ‘belt’ is actually a girl’s hairband he’s been dressed up with. He’s also wearing a black biker vest that most likely came from a doll of some sort. He runs around the room, riling up the others with his flirting and generally causing his usual chaos. In this world he’s extremely popular, being one of the owner’s favorite toys. Of course, all the fun stops abruptly as Grizabella appears, crawling out from behind the bookshelf. Grizabella the Glamour Cat

The cats quickly scatter as Grizabella approaches. She’s a beat up toy, ragged with stuffing sticking out in different places. She’s been chewed on by a couple dogs after venturing out of the room to try and find a different place. The scene mostly progresses as normal, everyone shying away from her, the kittens trying to get close but being warded off by the elder toys. Munkustrap shows no emotion but does gently gesture for Griz to leave before things get worse which she obliges, slowly walking away while her song is song behind her. Bustopher Jones

The mood quickly lifts as Bustopher Jones arrives! He’s a wind up toy, big because of all his fancy mechanics and not used very much thus looking extremely well taken care off. They all great him as normal, turning over a hat for him to sit on while presenting him with different plastic foods for him to eat. They even use a sock as a napkin for him. However the atmosphere of fun is broken quickly as the hear aggressive shouting in the background. (Which is the  distance voice of the girl’s older brother) they scream Macavity before running for the hills, hiding in various places in the room. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer  As the stage empties, a large puppet theatre is wheeled out. We hear Rumpelteazer’s laughs before the theatre curtain opens, revealing two stringless puppets, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer leap out of the puppet stage and begin their number doing a healthy mix of acrobatics and tearing around the bookshelf, tossing books around and making a show of stealing things like pens and one sock from a pair. Rumpelteazer is wearing a plastic bracelet as a necklace of sorts. They cause their usual mix of chaos before being found out by the rest of the tribe and chased onto the toy box for the next number.

Old Deuteronomy  The next song begins as normal, cats pointing out they sense the Jellicle leader and Munkustrap beginning the song with Tugger and the others joining in later. Slowly, Old D enters the stage. He’s a large, cat themed baby blanket and was the girl’s first ever toy and is thus a ‘father’ to Munkustrap and Tugger. (Who are the girl’s favorites) He greets the tribe before sitting on the chair to observe the ball. The Aweful Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles Okay so this basically goes as normal so I won’t describe what happens so much as the designs. So the Pollicles are the toms. They wear dangly earrings hanging off their ears to imitate dog ears, dry erase marker caps on their hands to make their feet, and plastic baggies for their other feet. The Pekes are the queens. They wear socks with holes on their heads, and mittens and bags for their hands and feet. The poms merely have little pom pom hair ties fastened around their ears. Now the Rumpus Cat is the most interesting one here. He’ll be double cast as Admetus and is a nightlight. He has a big Cheshire cat light up mask and a light up chest plate as well with a big R on his chest. Other parts of him will ideally light up as well. 

I’m going to skip a bit here, all the way to the second act as there wasn’t much of note during the Jellicle ball portion.

[give-grian-rights]

Do you see there being a timeline between yhs and hermitcraft or as separate continuitys because I like the idea of a timeline for semi angst purposes but I'm not sure how to incorporate it (sorry this is worded weirdly)

Anon, you have no idea how long i’ve waited for an ask like this.

okay,,, so,,, I have actually had a LOT of thought into how to frame a timeline where YHS and Hermitcraft could coexist in the same verse. This involved coming up with many explanations for minecraft mechanics, the differences in lifestyle, etc. This holds spoilers for YHS, and it’s season two Tokyo Soul. A summary is at the end.

 So,,, I see it as a continuous timeline, in most of my sorta,,, au,,, brainstorming. The way I’ve pieced it together the Minecraft world is:

Earth, where YHS would take place, is a sort of central hub. Servers are parallel universes to earth. I think of it as the real world theory, that there’s a different timeline for every action that could’ve been taken. Say in your timeline, you choose not to go to school or wok on a certain day, there’d would then be a timeline where you did.

So, humanity learned how to access these universes. A blank slate, a way to disperse population by opening hundreds of thousands of “servers” in these infinite universes, all with differences varying from the earth we all know.

As hundreds of universes turned into thousands, and thousands tuned into millions, more and more differences began occurring. The use of technology, the odd nature and affects of using such abilities to create an ever-expanding list of oddities, lead to things such as creepers or skeletons to become a normal occurrence.

Many people took to fleeing the “normal” earth worlds, to explore these new, dangerous worlds as a way to have a feeling of greater purpose, to exploit and learn of these new concepts and make the most of it.

With these constantly changing environments, finicky technology and ever-growing list of oddities across worlds, children began eventually being born with abilities and things to adapt to these scenarios and environments.

Live in a slime chunk? possibility of your kid ending up as part slime. (Explains the existence of yhs’ powerdragon, or hc ijevin)

your base is in the nether, you constantly die from blazes or things?  your kid’s got horns or red eyes (yuki and tango)

and so on, and so on. Of course with the dangerous world of Minecraft,  most people choose to raise their children in a hub “earth” which would explain hermits having accents of the counties they live in.

I think, that there would be some countries or towns, or even worlds, with an almost cult-like behavior, that don’t acknowledge the existence of the multi-verse. YHS would take place in one of these worlds.

The end of Tokyo Soul, aka YHS season two, left with their world destroyed. Obliterated, nothing standing but a single house belonging to The Trouble Trio. The only things left in existence being Sam, Taurtis, Grian, their house, and the items they had with them on their inventory. 

Perhaps there was an active rebellion against worlds such as their’s, hiding hte existence of the multi-verse. Perhaps someone left a command block, hidden within the house that went untouched. Perhaps after who knows how long of immortality within an empty existence, Grian found it.

Grian accidentally ends up in a creative, flat world. This is where he learned how to build.  As time went on, and he better understood some of the mechanics the wold had to offer he managed to use the command bock to learn more about the multiverse, Perhaps a “command bock” s more modern looking, functioning more like a tablet than the simple form it has in the actual game

He learned of the existence of survival world. Of ways to live without perma-death, of the multiverse. He decides he wants to experience “beta” worlds, early, finicky worlds that go without some of the oddities of later “Versions” and so he begins Evo.

 Command Blocks, in this context, would also function as forums. Perhaps a notification would go to certain people that a new server had started, and a limited amount of individuals would join. 

And so would begin Grian’s journey into exploring what the multi-verse offers. 

This got,, really out of hand, but i’ve been thinking about this non-stop since who knows how long. in short:

Minecraft is a multi-verse. there’s an earth, this is where most people live. there are multiple earths vaguely similar, some of which hide the existence of the multiverse which hold mobs and elytras and the like. YHS took place in one of these dimensions. After the events of Tokyo Soul, Grian found a command block which brought him to a super flat world, where he began learning how to build. The events of Evo would then follow before he finds himself in hermitcraft.

[everlarkficexchange]

The Raven and The Gods

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 46: Peeta, the Greek god Apollo, hears the most beautiful voice at his temple so he comes down to earth to find this beautiful maiden. Follows how this god falls in love with a mortal and withstand the trials the other gods put them through. [submitted by @animekpopxx​]

  RATING: General (for the foreseeable future)

  TAGS: Greek Mythology AU; Supernatural AU; Apollo!Peeta.

  Author’s note: So this piece is only an introduction of sorts at less than 2500 words. I hope to write the rest in the next few weeks.

  In mythology Apollo is a very busy god. He oversees many aspects of human lives, has many attributes, and has a complexed personality in my opinion. Apollo is one of my favorite Olympians and I’ve always wanted to write something based on him, I just hope this one turns out ok.

KPKPKPKPK

The god of light pulled to a stop in the pristine marble streets of Olympus; his duty to bring the sun to the world finished and weary from his ventures, Apollo dismounted his golden chariot, and allowed the noble Pegasi pulling his transport some rest.

  “Tired my friends?” He asked the two winged horses patting their necks affectionately as the animals nuzzled their master’s arm.

  “Me too.” Apollo smiled softly, then added, “I do not believe ambrosia and nectar will be enough to cure this lethargy that’s taken over me. I am certain it is time I should look at the gathering in my Temple at Delphi, let the restaurative praises of the mortals heal me instead. It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed the worship of mankind.”

  In a moment, the Pegasi scampered off to feed on Olympian grasses, and the god of light walked to the edge of the Eternal City, where the view of the mortal world shifted under the waning morning. Apollo adjusted his sight, like binoculars focusing on a specific point in the distance. His temple at Delphi rushed at him while the rest of the world resided.

  “Splendid!” Apollo exclaimed when a group of mortals filed through the open doors of the temple.

  The crowd was thick and full, milling about the open space, squeezing by columns and statues depicting a young, beardless youth, viril and strong, showing a variety of Apollo’s many attributes. Half a dozen braziers stood flaming in front of each statue, waiting for people who brought fresh fruit, cereals, laurel wreaths, and even the small sacrificial pray, to burn their offerings to their god. Prayers accompanied the offerings as they fell into the fire, and somewhere in the room a musician played the lyre in a echoing corner.

  Apollo closed his bright blue eyes and took a deep, deep breath. The fragrant odor of the burnt tribute invaded his nostrils and filled his chest, cleansing his aura and renewing his depleted strength with his next exhale. An electric wave crackled around him as the sacrificial smokes ascended coiling rhythmically towards Olympus and the god himself. Every muscle in his body tightened and relaxed in quick succession, giving him another inch or so of mass and strength. His golden hair glistened anew in the glare of the sun while he flexed his fingers, craving the feel of his lyre strings under them.

  Just as he was about to summon the lyre to play along the musician in his shrine, the most beautiful voice he’d heard in millennia cut through the other prayers, the crackling of the consuming fire of offerings, and music previously filling Apollo’s ears.

  It was only a short worship song— one verse sang twice and not a whole stanza at that— but what beautiful voice it was!

  Being the god of music, Apollo’s ears perked up and waited for the rest of the rendition, but nothing else came for two long beats of the heart, and then, the song picked up again, less timid than the first try and even an octave higher.

  Apollo leaned forward on the rail-less edge of his sky high home, and his eyes searched the congregation like hawks seeking prey, but the crowd had thickened out if possible. People pressed against each other, trying to get to the specific braziers they sought out, meanwhile the singing kept gaining strength, and he realized the one he was focused on was merely joining in another two voices that sounded less captivating, but still very charming all the same.

  “Three women,” he gasped, “three women singing, where are they?” But there were hundreds of women singing in various size groups all over the temple.

  With a growl, the god took a step backwards and pushed off the edge of Olympus with the tip of his toes, lunging himself straight down to Earth like a meteor. His arms flushed at his sides at first, suddenly opened at shoulder level and tucking his head down, his whole body shimmered, shrinking and morphing while feathers black as night on a moonless sky replaced sun-kissed, fair skin.

  Apollo swooped inside the temple and flew close to the ceiling, cocking his head here and there, scanning the crowd with tiny black eyes that could still bring into focus a specific section at a time. His bird ears perked up when again the sweet voice he sought lifted above the rest of the singers, and he realized it came from the direction reserved for the healers who worshiped him.

  The bird god flew overhead in a circle, enough times he got the unwanted attention of a priest who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

  “Look!” The priest cried out disrupting the prayers and songs of the other mortals, making Apollo glare in annoyance. “A raven! In the temple!”

  “Is it the wrath of Apollo upon us?” Asked a woman trembling from head to toe.

  The fear picked up like wildfire among the mortals, cowering and accusing one another of imaginary transgressions against their god.

  Knowing keeping his current appearance would hinder his search, Apollo turned the plumage on his body to white, causing the crowd to sigh in relief at the sight of the bird’s new plumage. He flew out a small window at the side of the temple on the opposite wall just as quickly as he’d come in.

  Mortals have the habit of taking omens way too close to heart. Apollo should have known better than to use the form of a creature he’d— for all intents— had cursed by turning its feathers the color of soot, but then again, the raven was his bird, he should be able to use it in whatever circumstance he seemed fit. Instead, he was forced to take on a human form.

  The luminescence of his divine skin muted to a dull glow that simply disappeared the more man-like he appeared. His eyes also lost the light of the sun that filled them, and turned into a bright, cheerful blue. His hair went from golden like the rays of the sun to ashy blond and curly at the ends. He debated whether to grow a beard or stay clean faced as he naturally was… he opted for the latter. Then, he looked down at his robes, still too magnificent to be worn amongst the mortals and remaining incognito. A quick wave of his hand left him wearing a cream color chiton, with a brown chlamys fastened at the shoulder with a small wooden lyre broach. Simple sandals kept his feet properly protected. He could be a traveling peasant and nobody would look at him twice.

  Apollo marched into his temple with a single task in mind: Find the singing woman. He made his way through the crowd still gawking at the ceiling of the temple where the raven had been flying not a minute earlier, others had fallen to their knees with renewed fervor after witnessing how the bird went from bad to good omen with the change of plumage.

  The priest was still standing in the middle of the temple, flapping his arms over his head, chanting loudly some nonsense about Apollo’s power and wisdom. The god made a beeline to the old man, knowing he had to snap him out of the trance so the songs and prayers could resume and he could get back to his search.

  “What an amazing miracle to behold.” Apollo said into the priest’s ear, “The sun is bright, the wind is sweet, call to the lyres, our Lord to please. Music and song is what the gods want, ring out your voices, let your poems fall free.”

  As if hypnotized, the priest stood stock still, his eyes turned glassy, but then he started calling for lyres to carry out a tune, and singers to belt out their praises loudly. His job done, Apollo melted back into the crowd.

  The god of music stuck his arm out and his lyre appeared in his hand out of thin air. It was of course disguised as a common instrument to match its master’s appearance, but it was still the most celestial sound in the place. Soon the voices of the mortals filled the god’s ears and he had to close his eyes to take in all the influx of strength and new life pouring into him. And suddenly, the voice he had momentarily forgotten, hit his senses awake.

  “She’s there!” The god looked to his left, and his feet lead him without stopping. People cleared a path for him with a wave of his fingers until he found himself in the middle of the cluster of healers that followed his cult as patron of medicine and healing.

  Three women holding each other called his attention. One was a downtrodden looking woman who still possessed a certain beauty to herself; the other two were younger, a nervous looking maiden with long, braided hair as dark as Apollo’s ravens and eyes as bright as the full moon; the last one, not much older than a child, blonde and fair as the older woman, with features that resembled both of her companions. The god deduced the three women were kin to one another, and simply inched closer to them, to see if he had found his mystery singer.

He played his lyre an approached the singing trio, convinced it was the source of the voice he craved. The ladies sang to his tune as if under a spell. Apollo saw two of The Muses— Euterpe, goddess of song and lyric poetry; and Polyhymnia, goddess of hymns— come to dance around the mortal women, and smiled at them gratefully, knowing full well they came to help him draw out the singing for as long as the mortals could stand it.

  Normally, mortals can’t see The Muses. They can only feel their presence and respond to their inspirational nudgings, but the gray eyes of the eldest girl fixed on Euterpe. Startled by the apparition, her eyes widened in fear and apprehension. The maiden wrapped her arms around the younger girl’s lithe body and pulled her closer to her chest. A moment later, and without taking her gaze from the goddess, the mortal maid had taken a protective stance shielding the youngster behind her own slim frame.

  The action peaked Apollo’s curiosity.

  Apollo dismiss his goddesses, grateful for their help, he lifted the mist blinding the mortals to the presence of the deities, and free them from the trance The Muses had put on all the followers of their leader gathered in the temple.

  Apollo’s fingers rang out a few more notes on his lyre, and then stopped playing his enchanted music. As if by magic, The Muses disappeared, leaving the mortals confused for a short moment. But humans are forgetful, fickle creatures, all bewilderment wiped off their minds almost immediately.

  Apollo watched the women closely. The older girl released her grip on the youngest, who beamed up a smile as breathtaking as it was sweet.

  “That was amazing, Katniss! Thank you for helping me sing today. I’m sure our songs brought the blessing of the dove to the temple today. I’ve never seen anything alike before.”

  Apollo snorted. Mortals always saw only what they could explain. They witnessed a raven turn it’s feathers white above their heads, and quickly pronounced it a dove instead.

  The older girl’s facial muscles twitched, her lips pursed for a second but then she schooled her expression into a slight smile. “Maybe it was, little duck. Maybe the gods know it is your thirteenth birthday and sent a blessing just for you. I hardly had anything to do with it.”

  “Oh, that’s not true!” The girl whispered, blushing before tackling the maiden with a hug. “You have the most amazing voice. And the blessing was for everyone who saw the dove, not just me. Right, Mama?” The girl turned to the woman who’s soft blue eyes watched the exchange as if afraid to be shooed away.

  “It’s, true. Katniss has the sweetest voice ever. And the blessing is a welcome and most needed sign from our lord, Apollo.”

  “Thank you, mother.” Said the older girl less warmly than how she spoke to the youngster. “I’m sure Apollo enjoyed all the other offerings we brought for him.”

  “Sure he did!” Exclaimed the younger sister. “Lord Apollo is the wisest, strongest and most approachable of all the gods in Olympus.”

  “Shush, Prim!” Chided the big sister, nervous eyes flitting everywhere at once. “We must never compare deities as such. All gods are great in their own rights and none is highest than Zeus himself. All gods are powerful and amazing.”

  “You don’t sound very convinced.” Said Apollo immediately regretting his faux pas as the raven-haired maid’s blood drain from her thin face. “I apologize for intruding. It is not my place.”

  “It is not!” The maiden scowled mightily. “It will do you well to stick to playing your lyre, minstrel!”

  Apollo felt his heart swell.

  It was a well known fact, Apollo, for all his might and attributes, obsessing over hard-to-get romantic interests was his weakness.

  “Minstrel you call me, like it is a disease.” Said the god smirking, “But our Lord Apollo finds the musicians to be bearers of gifts, like joy and beauty.”

  The maiden rolled her eyes. “Of course Apollo would.” She muttered under her breath.

  “Katniss, remember where you are!” Hissed her mother behind a fan, tired blue eyes nervously shifting around.

  Katniss feigned a smile. “Lord Apollo is most gracious unto us. Alas, I am not of his service.” She looked at her family warily, “Mother, Primrose, if you are think that you’ve satisfied Apollo with out offerings, I believe it is time to seek the the priest to bring forth Prim’s name to be considered to start the healer training now that she’s thirteen.”

  “Allow me to escort you, my lady. I’m sure god Apollo is eager to bless his new healer in the making!” The god smiled at Primrose, whose cheeks turn a sweet pink.

  “That will not be necessary, minstrel. We can find the priest on our own just fine.”

  “Peeta, my lady, the name is Peeta Mellark, at your services,” said Apollo at once and without putting too much thought into it, took the maiden’s hand to kiss it.

  As soon as his skin made contact with hers, a series of pictures played in the god’s mind’s eye.

  The air thicken, a mystical aura descended into the temple. The priestess Pythia who sat alone in her tripod stool in the Oracle’s chamber rose her eyes from the basin full of water and laurel leaves, the spirit of the Python hissing in her veins.

  Pythia rose from her perch and marched into the public side of the temple, causing an uproar, the high priest rushed to the Oracle, frightened by her presence on a day she was not meant to be consulted, but before the man could inquire what had moved her to the crowd, she spoke, facing in the general direction of the healers section.

  “I am Pythia, Oracle of Delphi, servant of Apollo, hear my voice and heed my warning.”

  The Oracle walked to the cluster of healers with eyes shining and hair flowing. Her white chiton covered her thighs and her feet were bare. She made no sound as she walked a straight line almost in front of Apollo, butat the last second, the woman turned her face to a trembling Katniss.

  “You who fear great losses, will be overcome by hope.

Don’t let the emotions fool you, don’t run away from fear. Embrace your weakness, let go of sorrow. Welcome freedom and hold fast to the rising sun, the dandelion in the spring, the promise of a better dawn. Don’t be fooled by the arrow and the storm. Time is upon you, and the trials ahead will rival the heroes quests. Hold fast to the dandelion in the spring.”

  Pythia stumbled backwards, and Apollo caught her in his arms gently, turning her over to the priests to look after her. When Apollo looked back, the three women were gone.

[soul-heart-and-beyond]

✩ Roleplaying History ✩

(Post ten characters you’d like to roleplay as, have role-played as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can and tag the same amount of people). Please repost instead of reblog!)

(Tagged by: @ducktales-wco-oo and @phooeyonyou​)

(Tagging: Seems like you’re up next!)

Currently playing:

Duckworth - DuckTales 1987/2017/Other AU Versions

Dewey Duck - DuckTales 2017/Other AU Versions

Fenton Crackshell/-Cabrera/Gizmoduck - 2017/1987/ Other AU Versions

Negaduck/Drake Mallard - Darkwing Duck - Show/Comics/Dangerous Currency/Other AU Versions

Skunky Skunk - Bonkers Show/Other AU Versions

Huckleberry Hound - Classic Hanna-Barbera/Trio of Triumph/Other AU Versions

Ludwig Von Drake - House of Mouse/DuckTales 1987/2017/Other AU Versions (@thegenludwigvondrake)

Claire Redfield - Resident Evil

Trish - Devil May Cry

Quick Draw McGraw - Classic Hanna-Barbera/Trio of Triumph/Other AU Versions (I seriously need to update his icons and stuff. The ones I have I feel would not do him justice as of currently.) @quick-draw-mcgraw-rp

Want to play: (I’d share some of the new ones coming with updates, but surprises are surprises! They will be test muses of course, and I may alter or even archive some muses.)

Dynomutt - Hanna-Barbera (With a clumsy but chill and courageous cybernetic pooch like this guy, I just haven’t done much to promote him. He’s a good pal to have and is pretty friendly!)

Hawkgirl/Shayera Hol - DC Comics (Tougher than nails, but good company to keep once you get past her initial meeting phase! DCAU can be pretty weird to mesh in with other folks, but I should still try a little more?)

Howard the Duck - Marvel Comics (Yeah, yeah, he’s still on here, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been trying to push him out there like some of the ones I currently play. He’s a guy with issues that many people can probably relate to, and is fun to irritate.)

Hokey Wolf - Hanna-Barbera (As my favorite HB character of all time, well, it’s not that out of the ball park that I’d like to rp as him on here. There aren’t that many that I think would know of Hokey though. Suave, calm, and sassy is his thing, and he’ll con you a new one better than Yogi Bear ever will!)

Roxas - Kingdom Hearts (”But he’s on here and I have done a thread or two with him!” Yeah, that’s true, but just recently have I kinda noticed some things about how I’d play Roxas might not mix well with other muns, mainly because of the constant preaching of “friends over family” that KH has, it kinda leads me away from thinking Roxas would consider anyone older than him like a parent and just friend zone them instantly. I might be overthinking it, but it’s just something I don’t see happening, and until I can find my confidence and hopefully a better method of playing Roxas, he’ll be in semi-hiatus for the time being.)

Sylvester Pussycat/Daffy Duck - Looney Tunes (I have done very little with either, though I can do something with Sylvester as of now, just Daffy needs some tweaking and icons for other verses. But when I have a good grip on both situations, they’ll be put out into the open for all to interact with for the other verses!)

Dracula Duck - DuckTales (As I have not been working on his icons like I should have, with very good reason for so too, I still have so many great ideas and AUs for him that I’ll share when I can get him completed.)

Gideon McDuck - Duckverse/Disney Comics (”But you play him too!” Ohhhhkay, Gid is a tough topic to deal with as even the mere mention of his name can serve up controversy in times when it is not need, like any time, but he is still a favorite of mine and technically still a good or possible character in DuckTales 2017. He can or doesn’t have to be related, I mean, look at Huge McDuck and what he did and he’s not even a real relative. What I want to do is continue giving the chief editor a chance to shine and be noticed for all of his straight-forward but considerate mannerisms, search for truth and justice, and all of that from the news side of the world.) @gideon-mcduck

John D. Rockerduck/Roller Dollar - Duckverse/Disney Comics (”Also him as well!” Look, John is more known and very well received to be the third richest duck in the world, and as he aims for first place in besting Scrooge, he’s also not that bad of a guy. Sure, he may have a devious, mischievous, and even cheating side to him, but get to know the guy well and he’ll treat you like family. Not his of course as there’s a lot of turmoil in his but better than any average person for sure. Not only that, but he has gone through some radical adventures, giving him versatility, and even has a supervillian persona, one akin to Magneto. Polaris [Marvel], Doctor Polaris [DC], and Cosmic Boy in some terms of powers. When he hits the stage, he makes sure his appearance is known! Until he’s forced to munch on another one of his bowler hats.) @john-d-rockerduck

Underdog/Shoeshine Boy - Terry Toons? (Being a big fan of some superheroes, and knowing that Underdog has become a rarity in that of the super hero fandom, I decided it might be nice to try and help bring him back! As overpowered as he is, of course he can get the good old nerfing rod, or not, however you want it! Mainly what seems to be cool would be the situations in which he saves the day that don’t always involve Polly Purebred, or just his daily life as a shoeshine boy?) @underhcro

Have played:

Ralph Runner - Loonatics Unleashed (Boy, is this 50′s-60′s esque father of a roadrunner something! He’ll probably have you smacking your head in frustration from the very fast speak he talks. Ralph can slow down though, so that’s not much of a problem! Keeping up with him physically though is another thing, like for some reason, he still has a potbelly but can move at super sonic speeds? I guess not every speedster has a hyper fast metabolism? Either way, if you’re in the future sometime, you might find him at his business or somewhere in Acmetropolis, if it’s in the same time and universe!)

Snagglepuss - Hanna-Barbera (Ooooh, this guy. I have SO many ideas with him that they pale in comparison to Huck and Hokey, when just using my ideas and not the combined efforts of mine with others. A moment that explains how he went from being an antagonist and rival to being a good friend along with his fur change? Got it! An explanation for how he loses some of his daring and adventurous backbone? Already thought of! And the list goes on for this mountain lion! I may not have played him on Tumblr, but I have played him before, and I have hear I am really good from others.)

Bathound/Ace Wayne - DC Comics (A detective that likes to do his work more than anything, and does it best when alone? Oh yeah, that is a vigilante I can get behind! I still have yet to promote him more and such, but he is a good guy to antagonize since he does hate silliness and such when it comes to the mission. Though not as devoted to the mission as Bruce/Batman is, he can be at times and that is one of his best traits/worst flaws.)

José Carioca - Disney (As he is literally my most favorite Caballero, sorry Don and Pan, he does get a lot of love from me. With his questionable past of having what can be debated to be regular magic or black magic, coy and sly demeanor when on his con work, or just being the cool and levelheaded member until a party arises. Maybe it is because he reminds me too much of myself in some cases, but I do not know. He is still available for whoever wants for me to make a starter with him! I also have to continue the thread that has him in it.)

Morrigan Aensland - DarkStalkers (I question on how I should approach making her icons as she is well, look at her. Though she is a succubus and gets away with that because it goes back into the lore of succubi, I feel like some people would be uncomfortable with her around, which is normal. She is kinda one of those..... characters that I don’t want to type the acronym of. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to play her. She’s a good character that has an intriguing personality!)

Igor - Count Duckula (Ah yes, my first rp blog that I had when I decided to rp on Tumblr. It’s still up, and I’m still working on it! But for all that do not know, here’s a little thing about my writing; If it wasn’t for me rping as Igor, and also having knowledge of Alfred Pennyworth, I might not have been thinking about playing Duckworth as early as I did. I do love Duckworth still to about the same amount as Igor, which is a LOT, but they kinda are two sides of the same coin. Heck, they even wear almost similar attire except for their appearance and tastes in some things.) @butlerofthecount

Dante - Devil May Cry (I definitely need to work on this blog again, as DMC5 sparked my thrist for some good demon slaying threads. Hopefully the pizza hasn’t gotten cold or moldy by now, but if it has, one can always order a new one!) @merciless-style

Goofy Goof - Disney (It’s no joke! I may not have him on here, but then again, not all of my muses are on here. Some are exclusive to here, and others are exclusive to other places. While I’d love to present my take on the cherry and clumsy goof, I prefer to see everyone else’s interpretation on here! Goof Paradise is Nice, but I’m too impure for that life. XD)

Tidus - Final Fantasy X (I swear, I’m still making icons for him in the PS2 original Final Fantasy X because I’m sorry, that’s the only way I like Tidus’ face in the first and second games, Kingdom Hearts and Dissidia series are okay, but not the HD Remasters [in my opinion].) @caladbolgdreamknight

Gemerl/Emerl - Sonic The Hedgehog (I definitely wouldn’t mind giving this copy bot a chance to get some light again!)

[so-shiny-so-chrome]

Witness: KirkyPet

Creator name (AO3): KirkyPet 

Creator name (Tumblr): kirkypet 

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirkyPet/works

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: I was actually quite fixated on Fury Road after watching it on DVD. I didn’t expect to particularly like it - I’d never seen the previous Mad Max movies (I finally have!) - but I was transfixed. And I didn’t particularly ship Furiosa and Max until the haemothorax/transfusion scene (although then I very much did). There were just so many layers of detail and backstory there waiting to be explored, because so little was actually said or explained. It’s like a neutron star of fic-fodder. And I didn’t discover ao3 til summer 2016 so I spent a full year wandering around like a lost soul. So, yeah. Quite a huge deal for me really.

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: Music. Minor characters looking on and commenting on the protagonists (big fan of Thomas Hardy’s more comedic efforts, where this happens a lot). Reasonably happy endings.

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: Maybe the small town modern AU (Ordinary People), because it was a nice change from the Wasteland setting. I’m not very Wasteland-minded at all. But the Bladerunner AU (Do Androids Dream etc) and the new Firefly AU are lots of fun because the two sets of movie worlds mesh together way better than I’d expected. 

The most difficult? - My Wasteland headcanon stuff. It’s too fluffy and not remotely violent which doesn’t really ring true. I’m very aware that my Furiosa is hardly ever violent, or my Max particularly mad. But that’s the great thing about fanfiction - the infinite versions of characters and scenarios. Surprisingly the Blues Brothers AU is quite tricky. I can’t quite make Jake Blues and Furiosa the same person. But it’s an excuse to listen to great tunes. And Jessie will make a comeback in that one though (she’s not dead, I should make that clear). 

On the old kudos-to-hits ratio, the Firefly AU is taking off surprisingly well, but it’s quite smut-focused so that might well account for it ;) early days yet. Bladerunner AU is doing well for a multi-chapter. Up Around The Bend (an oldie, the escape from the Citadel) is hanging in there. 

Most successful? I’m happy enough with all of them, except maybe I Kissed A Girl. Please don’t read that. Favourite overall - It’s a toss-up between Ordinary People (a chance to explore my headcanon in a modern small town setting) and the Bladerunner AU (it makes me weep). 

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?

A: Hopeful and silly and everyone has access to a record player somehow. This is why I stick to writing AUs these days. But I’ll happily read all of the above!!! And entirely intend to!

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: Watch a film, browse tumblr, listen to music, get an idea. Have a good think about it, think about it some more, find a starting point, write it down, go from there. Maybe stick a draft on tumblr if I’m not sure if it’s going to fly. Write it anyway. 

For OCs, figure out what someone looks like. That’s weirdly essential for me. Zal (Furiosa’s Dad) is Ed Harris, Young Val (Furiosa and Max’s grownup daughter) is Alicia Vikander and Toots (rescued-kid-turned-Wasteland-son-in-law) is Didier Drogba (bit of a blast from the past but hey). I was getting nowhere with Blues Mothers Jessie until I recast her as Sofia Boutella (because if Max is getting a generational update, she needs one too). And Firefly AU’s Mister Jobassa is Jakob Oftebro. All very pretty people, but what are you gonna do? But they’re only these people in MY head - they can be whoever the reader wants them to be. Oh, and Pin from Ordinary People was 100% an actual real tour guide I met on holiday once. 

Preferred environment? Usually while half asleep in bed, or walking, or In the gym, or watching tv - world building seems to be something that happens away from the keyboard. Writing itself is exclusively on my phone so can and does happen anywhere at all. Rough patches are usually caused by guilt that I’m not spending enough time on the day job :P

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: I listen to music all the time anyway, mainly upbeat pre-90s tunes. Disco, funk, ska, motown, anything like that. And it always find its way into the writing. Sometimes artificially (where I’m on a song-lyrics-as-title theme - it took ages for some of the Wasteland fics) but most times it can help shape the story in a BIG way. I can’t listen to certain songs now without reliving a chapter or a whole fic - Dionne Warwick’s Do You Know The Way To San José is Bladerunner!Furiosa’s Green Place song, and Ash’s Angel Interceptor is StarTrek!Max’s flying music - it’s noisy enough but also speaks to me about a longing to not be alone in the universe. Concrete and Clay is smalltown!Max’s bittersweet lament for Jessie and Twistin’ The Night Away is the final party scene in Cheedo’s update of The Rivals. Some fics wouldn’t have been written at all if it wasn’t for a particular song. The Black Keys’ Heavy Soul was my original Wasteland Furiosa/Max ship theme back in 2015, before I’d even heard of ao3 - that’s the closest I’ve come to a song fic. Caleb was only Caleb because of a line in Symarip’s Skinhead Moonstomp, and I was so desperate to write a fic with Leo Sayer’s You Make Me Feel Like Dancing In it that it was the final excuse for a whole modern mirrorverse to my Wasteland headcanon series. Bet you’re sorry you asked now. But I’ll have to go and put together a Kirkyverse OST list.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: To put the damn thing down and walk away. To not assume it’s awful if I don’t get a kudos in the first thirty hits. Thumb cramp from phone-typing.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: I didn’t write at all before the Mad Max fandom. Apart from a ghost story when I was about seven (it did win a prize tbh) and a truly god awful Stephen King rip-off when I was fourteen (which makes me nauseous from embarrassment when I think of it). So a fair bit, it’d probably be fair to say. It would be impossible not to, you know, from zero :) My work has changed from spinoffs of inspirational fics (thanks Squid!) to ‘well, I suppose I’ve got a head canon, let’s see if I can make this work’ to ‘goddammit I’ll finish this if it kills me’. Then I missed my exit on the Roundabout of Fic Endings and had to go round again in a modern AU mirror verse. Now it’s all movie mashups, which is lots of fun and probably never-ending. During which time I have learned that crossovers are my favourite to write. And that writing fanfic is probably not a temporary fad :)

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: I don’t really have a favourite tbh. They’re all their own people and do their own thing. Writing them is very dependent on their environment, and it’s often surprising how they behave and where they end up. It feels a bit like they’re on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: Hah yes. The first one was Zephyr the annoying visitor in Witches and Ogres. Young Val’s social awkwardness in As was very much on loan from me. 

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?Furiosa and Max are pretty much always there - sometimes it’s probably platonic, and sometimes there’s a third person involved (nothing posted yet but but but). It depends on the fic.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: One big long chronology for the headcanon series (childhood to old age), then a whole bunch of little universes for everything else.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: Not to break, as much as I can. But it depends.

Q: Share some headcanons.

A: Furiosa was never actually a wife - she was captured but dodged the whole Vault experience. Max is the original Max, of Jessie and Sprog fame. Toecutter was Joe’s younger self - he scooted around on motorbikes and raised hell before deciding to settle down and take the Citadel. AU Toast and Dag are twins (from a shady mob family). Furiosa’s Dad is a friendly Wasteland bandit. 

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: They’re supplementary characters who make the plots fit together, and sources of conflict or humour (usually both). I think I like Ordinary People’s Alexa and Mallory best. Although the Irish War Boy crew in Beyond the Pale were fun to write. Ace’s trio of love interests (Brick, Big Dave and Caleb/Pin) are a consistent theme. Sometimes I steal characters from other sources (stand up Christopher Brookmyre) when it’s convenient.

Q: What sparks your many wonderful AUs?

A: Movies, tv, gifs, tumblr prompts and general chitchat (thankyou btw!!!)

Q: A lot of your fics are light-hearted and hopeful, which is great to see for the apocalyptic Mad Max world. Your thoughts on that? What is it about the characters that inspires you to reframe them?

A: I just really like comedy and am committed to winkling it into every fictional scenario whether it’s appropriate or not. Glad people don’t hate it!

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?

A: Well, it was Squid’s ( @sacrificethemtothesquid )Length and Breadth of Fury Road that got me out of the starting blocks! Christopher Brookmyre’s The Sacred Art of Stealing was a big influence on my headcanon series, as was a particular Coronation Street storyline from some years back :) 

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: Blues Brothers AU series (Sweet Home Chicago) -Wasteland Star Trek First Contact AU (Angel Interceptor) -Firefly AU (Our Mister Jobassa) -His Dark Materials AU (unnamed as yet, just brewing in my head, hope it just stays there for the meantime) -Will combine all the headcanon works into one long fic sometime. That’s everything from Witches and Ogres through to Ordinary People. Probably be called ‘All the Things that I’ve Done’ (basically the two lives of Furiosa: Wasteland and mirrorverse).

Thank you @kirkypet

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/02/2021 (Lil Tjay & 6LACK, Taylor Swift, slowthai)

Okay, so we’ve got a busy week ahead of us, actually a pretty massive one to deep-dive through – and it’s immediately obvious from the second song on the chart, but for now, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo hangs on for what I believe is its sixth week at #1, and we’ve got a lot to cover.

Rundown

First of all, why’s this a big week? Well, there is an album bomb – or at least all that the UK Singles Chart allows for album bombs – and everything that could have debuted... debuted high. So in the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, we’ve got an awful lot to discuss. First of all, our drop-outs, other than debuts from last week, include “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish, “All Girls are the Same” by the late Juice WRLD, “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo and fittingly, “Skin” by Sabrina Carpenter. We also have  a fair few losers, like “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey down to #16 off of the top 5 debut and all of Fredo’s tracks skidding down off of the album bomb two weeks ago, like “Money Talks” with Dave at #19, “Ready” featuring Summer Walker at #37 and “Burner on Deck” with Young Adz and the late Pop Smoke at #51. We also have “34+35” by Ariana Grande not getting a remix boost at #30 (though it can get the album boost next week), “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka collapsing at #39, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #48, “willow” by Taylor Swift at #49, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #50, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #52, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #55, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #56, “Be the One” by Rudimental featuring MORGAN, Digga D and TIKE at #58, “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #59 (I’m surprised we didn’t get “GNF (OKOKOK)” debut, by the way), “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #61, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #62, “Loading” by Central Cee collapsing at #63, “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix doing the same at #65 (probably both victims of streaming cuts), “Apricots” by Bicep at #68, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #69, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #70 and “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #73. What may be more interesting than our notable fallers are our notable gains and returning entries, however, as whilst only “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper returned to #64, we also have some inexplicable or just plain bad gains. “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek seemingly has a second wind at #67, along with “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran at #57 and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #42, but our other gains are mostly recent debuts, like “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #45, “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Maxed Wolf at #44, “Believe Me” by Navos at #43, “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence at #33 and finally, “Friday”, Riton’s ugly Nightcrawlers remix featuring Musafa & Hypeman dopamine re-editing itself into the top 10 at #10, becoming everyone’s first in that category, except the Nightcrawlers themselves getting their first top 10 since 1995, even if it’s just “Push the Feeling On” getting into the top 10 a second, separate time 26 years later... and it’s scary to think 1995 is indeed 26 years ago. Anyway, let’s start to make sense of these new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “MAZZA” – slowthai featuring A$AP Rocky

Produced by SAMO, slowthai and Kwes Darko

Now, the charts may be chaotic because of the general weakness of it all but it also allows for artists you wouldn’t really expect to do that well get #1 albums, and slowthai’s riding the waves of controversy, his well-received debut album and, you know, a genuinely very good quality of work, as his sophomore effort, TYRON, debuts at #1 on the UK Albums Chart, and we’ve got three songs from Ty on this singles chart, which is the highest amount the chart actually allows, meaning this is an album bomb. Yeah, an album bomb from slowthai – that’s the one thing you can guarantee ONLY ever happens on the UK charts... well, okay, there are many things, but we’ll get to those later. I’m surprised “MAZZA” didn’t debut higher given the music video, big-name feature, being one of the catchiest on the record and the fact that it’s getting radio play, but it’s still here, so who’s to complain? This track, from the emptier A-side of “bangers” in the first half of the album, relies on a quirky synth loop and a bouncy trap beat for slowthai and Rocky to individually prove themselves on and, yeah, the song is pretty great, with a really infectious hook and mostly really smooth flows, propelled by the charisma that just so easily spreads out of every word Ty raps. The title itself is slang that basically something is “mad” – that in, crazy and fun – and that is fitting for the song, which seems to be at a disconnect between the content, beat and feature. Ty flip-flops between flexing, depression and drug addiction, whilst A$AP Rocky just delivers some flexing... but when it’s one of Rocky’s best verses in years, I’m just glad to have him spitting here finally. This is far from the most interesting track on the record but it’s definitely an empty banger cruising on energy more than anything, which is good because it has that in spades. I’d like to point out though that much like the rest of the first half of this album, it is derivative: this is a beat you could see either Rocky or Playboi Carti on, and Ty seems to be doing mostly Rocky-esque flows with a definite attempt at doing the same ad-lib-focal song structure as Carti would. This is unfortunate by now but I can see him growing out of his influence as time comes, although it is a concern when it’s clearer on your bangers than it is your retrospective tunes, which are also pretty clearly Kanye- and BROCKHAMPTON-inspired. Speaking of...

#72 – “terms” – slowthai featuring Dominic Fike and Denzel Curry

Produced by Mount Kimbie, JD. Reid and Kenny Beats

It’s crazy to see production credits from Mount Kimbie and Kenny Beats on the UK Singles Chart... but with that said, you’d expect that to end up as one of the best songs on the chart, especially with this trio of artists. Sadly, the tracks that debuted this week are not close to my favourites off of the project, but if songs like “45 SMOKE”, “push”, “nhs”, “focus”, “PLAY WITH FIRE” and my personal favourite, “i tried”, aren’t going to chart, then I guess we can deal with this to show the more introspective side of the record and slowthai as a whole... except this song is exceptionally shallow in that lane, discussing the downsides of fame in a way that feels tired and done before, even on the same album – and we’ll get to that in a bit. Dominic Fike discusses his words being “jumbled” when in reality I don’t think anything Ty has said has been confused or taken out of context. It doesn’t help that this beat has a drowned-out guitar sample that just sounds ugly below a dark, menacing 808 and trap percussion that take Dominic Fike out of his element so much that he just sounds awful on the hook. Slowthai may have a faster flow here but he’s remarkably unfocused content-wise, and Denzel Curry doesn’t deliver more than a badly-mixed Memphis rap interlude that you can barely tell is him. This is far from bad, I do like the subtle vocal samples in the chorus and slowthai’s second verse about his daily schedule is genuinely really great, but it feels like wasted potential. Fun fact: This is actually Denzel’s first ever song to chart in the UK... if you can even call it his song. We’ll see Ty more later as we get higher on the chart.

#60 – “Cover Me in Sunshine” – P!nk and Willow Sage Heart

Produced by the Struts

Okay, so this is a song by P!nk with her young child daughter... Hmm, okay, so this is a ballad relying on acoustic guitar picking and some really ugly echoed percussion as well as two voices that go from meshing not at all to meshing too well together for voices 30 years apart. I’d like to end it here because this song really isn’t interesting past the novelty factor and some strange mixing in the first verse especially but as a bland uplifting “Fight Song”-type song, I guess it works though I don’t know about you but if I were going through a global pandemic right now with no real source of income, no end in sight and constant governmental error that’s killing thousands of people nationwide, I wouldn’t want a child who was born into millionaires telling me that it’s all going to be okay... oh, yeah, we are in that situation and I don’t want to hear this at any point, especially because this is generic and frankly, not worth anyone’s time.

#54 – “Mixed Emotions” – Abra Cadabra

Produced by TR the Producer

Okay, so when I said this would be a big week I did not mean or expect that it would be a good week, as we can tell already, but Abra Cadabra is here with a “thugs-need-love-too” track to drive that point home. Apparently a snippet of this went viral before its official release in a Valentine’s Day EP I didn’t know existed, which I honestly don’t get because there’s nothing stand-out about this song, like, at all. It’s got a guitar-based trap beat as Abra Cadabra croons in his admittedly pretty interesting, rich voice but he’s not saying anything interesting and this beat is just incompetent, with those badly-mixed swooshing sound effects that come in way too many times, and the fact that half the song is lacking percussion for no reason other than to make the beat sound busier than it is, even when it already has that ugly acoustic guitar lick playing through the whole thing in the front of the mix and... yeah, what’s the point in really critiquing this? Abra can’t even really hold much of a flow, especially in the meandering second verse, so not much of value is lost when this inevitably drops out next week.

#53 – “Big” – Rita Ora, Imanbek and David Guetta featuring Gunna

Produced by Mike Hawkins, Toby Green, Spenser, Sam Martin, David Guetta and Imanbek

This is the lead single – if you can call it that – from a trainwreck of a collaborative EP by COVID-19 super-spreader Rita Ora and everyone’s favourite Kazakh DJ, Imanbek, who seems to be chasing hits here with no real gain. You can already tell this is going to be hilariously bad, right? There are four primary artists seemingly picked out of a hat who had never collaborated prior to this EP, with two vocalists that would not mesh at all, and two producers... as well as four others to engineer this mix out so that the actual DJs and producers here become pretty much in name only. So, this is an already pointless song in all capacities, but then we find out that Ed Sheeran had a hand in writing this... this is just prepped for disaster. Fittingly, the song’s bad in a hilariously boring way. It starts with a bassy synth lead and some generic house production before Rita Ora comes in with a really unconvincing delivery that does not help to propel some genuinely bad singing in the pre-chorus and awkward songwriting. “Blame it on the city how I’m ballin’”? “Big tanks looking like Transformers”? It’s even funnier when you note that that line is where the beat cuts out (kind of) and it doesn’t rhyme with the rest of the verse at all. There’s some really bad vocal processing that makes Rita Ora sound overly digitised, much like a lot of Imanbek’s production, but also emphasises her in the mix along with the vocal mixing being generally overly loud compared to the rest of the production, which doesn’t really have a proper drop so it just goes nowhere other than a brief drum fill that comes out of nowhere and serves no real purpose. Rita Ora delivers rap clichés or at least lines I’ve heard before in the most generic possible way in the second verse, with as much charisma as Gunna’s literally phoned-in verse, mixed awfully, where the beat doesn’t even dignify his existence by just staying on the build-up and not even properly giving him the trap breakdown that it’s clearly going for. There’s this one stray kick or 808 note in that verse that goes nowhere. It’s honestly hilarious how dreadful this song is, lacking any groove or punch that it would need to become even a guilty pleasure... if you still use that term, anyway. Just fascinating. Anyway, let’s get to the top 40.

#39 – “CANCELLED” – slowthai featuring Skepta

Produced by SAMO, Kelvin Krash and Kwes Darko

Yeah, okay, so this song isn’t great either. Although I’m glad slowthai is in the top 40, it won’t be for long and it’s not because of Ty. It’s because this is a Skepta song through and through. He does the hook, has a verse and a presence on the intro and post-chorus. It’s probably good that it is as well because Skepta does the best he can with his menacing delivery over a pretty weak flute-trap beat that sounds as sleepy as Skepta’s flow on the chorus, which is even more awkward when it takes a left turn for an unnecessary post-chorus. Ty brings energy here and some pretty funny lines but is overall a non-presence on his own song, being over-shadowed by the bass knock and interrupted by Skepta’s hook at the end of his verse. Skepta brings a better verse, with some genuinely really fun flow switches but nothing content wise to make this song that’s already barely two minutes feel like it adds anything to... well, anything. The song itself is trying to prove a heavy-handed yet misguided point about cancel culture, which I don’t think even exists, and how it “kills art” when in reality anything further than stans or trolls on Twitter is probably deserved. When a book shop stops selling J.K. Rowling books, it’s not because they’re silencing or censoring art as much as they are not giving profits to a terrible person with too much time and money on their hands. Thankfully, neither of these guys are terrible people but what backlash they have had has been either from a deserved place or not from the left. There was an incident at an awards show with Katherine Ryan that didn’t get him cancelled but got Ty some brief backlash. Everybody swiftly moved on, and nothing changed except I think he delivered some kind of apology, not that I would remember because this song retcons whatever regret he has for it. He also got some backlash from the British news media – see: the right-wing – from displaying a severed head of Boris Johnson on stage, but again, if backlash “killed art”, you wouldn’t have a #1 album. As much as it wants to be a middle-finger to cancel culture, it ends up as a worthless flex track from rappers who’ve done much better. It’s not bad at all – and I’m glad the guy’s having success (I mean, after all, the album is overall good and he’s a fellow Northamptonshire resident). I just don’t think this song really works at all for what it’s trying to do.

#35 – “Siberia” – Headie One featuring Burna Boy

Produced by TheElements and AoD

This is an awfully rap-centric episode, huh? Well, this is from the deluxe edition of Headie’s album Edna, because that trend’s not going away any time soon... and I think Abra Cadabra could learn from this because this is how you do a low-key guitar trap single, with those watery, almost Blink-182-esque acoustic loops under a somewhat off-kilter trap beat as Headie mumbles in his smoother voice and faster, fun flows that do remind me too much of Gunna but overall sound pretty great. The cadences, especially in the chorus, are pretty infectious, and honestly the song could just use with some refinement in the mixing category and with Burna Boy’s verse, as whilst the singer definitely delivers the energy here, his voice is particularly muddy in this mix and his flow is more janky. With some multi-tracking or backing ad-libs, this could have definitely sounded better. The strings and electric guitar that come in at the final chorus were a welcome surprise though, and Burna Boy’s soulful delivery on the final outro verse sounds better than his actual verse, so I don’t really know what went wrong here. The content isn’t all too interesting, but I’m a sucker for geography references so the hook would have always made me chuckle and that’s before the shallow but deserved political commentary in Headie’s verse as well as Burna Boy making... perhaps insensitive references to infections in his more Young Thug-like inflections that do sound fun and more out-there as a contrast to Headie keeping it a bit tighter. Yeah, this isn’t perfect but it’s a pretty good trap banger so check it out.

#27 – “UK Hun?” – United Kingdolls

Produced by Freddy Scott and Leland

And now in stark contrast, drag queens. I don’t follow RuPaul’s Drag Race at all but I very much understand its appeal, especially now that it’s come to the UK on BBC Three, with I believe Graham Norton at the helm. This is a song from its second season that apparently takes homage from Eurovision for a song which has a title that is literally a pun. “You okay, hun?” but because it’s Britain, it’s UK. Very, very clever. At least it’s up-front right out of the gate so you can expect what will end up as pretty dumb fun... and this is immediately obvious from the intro which introduces you to the chorus: “bing, bang, bong, sing, sang, song, ding, dang, dong, UK, hun”. Okay, so this wasn’t ever going to be a prowess in songwriting, although you’d think there’d be something more here given MNEK’s involvement. Each contestant in the race gets a rap verse here over a pretty rote late 2000s dance-pop beat, with varying levels of charisma but ultimately a lot of energy from people who pretty clearly can’t sing, not that it matters when there’s the Auto-Tune slathered on top of the pre-chorus and chorus. I do feel like I’m separated from the show enough to be completely mystified by this, but really, the song’s not bad, and I can dig the upbeat synths in the chorus, even if the childlike novelty of it makes it a lot less enjoyable to me, personally. At the end of the day, it’s a sugary pop song about confidence with a pretty great fourth verse about loving yourself for who you are, so I can’t hate that. Also “gender-bender, cis-tem offender” is kind of a bar.

#25 – “We’re Good” – Dua Lipa

Produced by Scott Harris, Emily Warren and SLY

Future Nostalgia is a great album, and like all great albums, it needs a mediocre deluxe edition with snippets of leftover, unfinished tracks and remixes... no, wait, no album ever needs that. Sadly, life doesn’t go my way all of the time, so Dua released a “Moonlight Edition”, the fifth version of the album to be released as far as I know, and other than a hilarious JID collaboration in the form of “Not My Problem”, it’s not worth listening to past the first 11 tracks that were already on the standard edition. This track is the worst of them all, stripping away any of the disco groove and grandiose strings that defined the vibe of the album for a really bland, vaguely tropical trap-pop tune. The only remnant of the disco theme is the chorus referencing cocaine, which seems bizarrely out of character if anything, although it doesn’t help that Dua sounds checked-out, especially on the verses but also on the chorus which definitely takes some inspiration from emo-pop in those guitar tones but not in those awkward, first-take vocal deliveries that make the chorus flow pretty awfully. This songwriting is consistently janky too, with the overly short bridge serving no real purpose and the song itself feeling like an under-written, over-produced waste of everyone’s time. I’m surprised Dua couldn’t debut higher than #25, but at the same time I understand why people aren’t enjoying this as much as the prior singles, because this is bad.

#23 – “Commitment Issues” – Central Cee

Produced by mokuba

This guy is just releasing a bunch of singles and squandering any potential I saw in him, huh? Well, okay, this is from an upcoming album but that doesn’t make its acoustic guitar loops any more interesting or the content any more dissonant from its hard-hitting UK drill beat and his aggressive delivery. Like, there’s nothing about his flow or the instrumental that makes sense for a song where he’s apologising to his ex and trying to convince her to come back to him... at all. I’d get annoyed by a song that’s not cohesive in its content, but this one is annoyingly so, with the content never giving a reason for the dark, menacing 808 slides other than the... arguments with the woman he describes in the hook? It does kind of work with the flow there, but, like... why? Why does this exist? This isn’t convincing, it can’t be a banger because of its overly-specific break-up themes and it’s just a mess of a song, not helped by the fact he goes off trailing in the second verse about how many “hoes” he has, which is honestly kind of funny given in the first verse, he acknowledges that his ex hates those types of lyrics. Man, Central Cee was onto something with the jazz-drill on “Loading”, where did any of that go?

#12 – “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

The original “Love Story” is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs. There’s something so sweet and Mew Mew Power about it. I don’t know if that’ll work as an adjective for anyone else but what I’m saying is it really emphasises the inner “white teenage girl in the 2000s” that many have hidden in them, with its cute banjo intro and honestly kind of funny misinterpretation of the original Romeo & Juliet text, none of which has been fixed in this new version. Out of the stuff I’ve heard from the country-pop era of Taylor’s work, it’s definitely one of the catchiest, most melodramatic choruses, probably second to my favourite from this era, “Mine”. Well, this new version has to be made so that Taylor Swift can own the rights again to her music that Scooter Braun sold after she left the Big Machine label. Honestly, I think I prefer a younger Taylor Swift in the context of such a cutesy, pretty song with all its childlike novelties – I mean, a 30-year-old Taylor Swift won’t misremember details from Shakespearean texts. Not to say that she sounds bad here because she sounds great, especially over the more refined, modern production and the incredible strings in the chorus that are emphasised in this mix. I can’t say that much of a cover that takes the original and does exactly the same thing with it, just with a more modern instrumental that honestly has a pretty epic instrumental bridge. Ultimately, this is taking a great song and making it sound better and more accessible for an audience a decade or so detached from the original “Love Story” and it sounds pretty great doing it.

#2 – “Calling My Phone” – Lil Tjay and 6LACK

Produced by Non Native, Bordeaux and G. Ry

This chart week ended up being less of a beast to tackle than I thought it was, mostly because there are a couple good fun songs sprinkled in the range of mediocrity here. Now this is the final song to discuss and... this is just as inexplicable as “drivers license”. If it weren’t for the streaming numbers, I’d be convinced this is an error and this should have been switched with the second-highest debut, as it makes no sense for Lil Tjay and 6LACK to debut at the #2 spot in the UK. For context, Lil Tjay is an Auto-Tune crooner from the Bronx, in a similar vein to a Lil Tecca or A Boogie wit da Hoodie, who I thought would completely disappear post-“Pop Out” given he seemed to be on the Lil Tecca route as most of his other singles just couldn’t stick the landing other than I guess “F.N.”. Admittedly, that might be because they were pretty bad, and I think he actually kind of ruined “Pop Out” by killing its momentum with his non-existent presence and gross Auto-Tune whine, but he seems to have gotten a lot of traction since then from a posthumous Pop Smoke record as he wastes time on “Mood Swings”, which became a pretty massive hit for Tjay and the late Pop Smoke, with a lot more longevity than I expected, even though it was my personal least favourite on that posthumous album. 6LACK is more for the alternative and hip-hop head crowd, known less for his street bangers than he is for his smooth alternative R&B collaborations with guys like J. Cole. He has mainstream attention and has tried to cross over before, but ultimately he’s probably better guest-starring on robotic Gorillaz singles with Elton John of all people... or at least that’s what I thought, because they seem to have just released a single with no real promo other than TikTok previews and a music video, and it blew up immensely almost immediately. Maybe it’s good timing given Valentine’s Day but this seems like a combination of weak charts and a genuinely organic sudden hit, pushed by a label of course but not without word of mouth and... I don’t know, I’m kind of clueless on why this is so big here, and seemingly everywhere, but I’m not complaining. Wait, no, I am complaining because I’m not a fan at all. I can go for smoother, more soulful R&B but something about this is way too jagged for it to work for me, with Tjay delivering some pretty bored, mumbled crooning over melancholy pianos and an infectious but off-beat chipmunk vocal sample that acts a refrain because nothing Lil Tjay does is catchy enough. His verse is really sloppy, as is the piano, and the percussion is kind of just gross in how it’s mixed. Thankfully, 6LACK is here for some brief relief on the second verse, as he actually has a presence with his cruising, subtle multi-tracked delivery that sounds genuinely pretty great and would be at better use with bass that isn’t mastered like this and maybe an actual chorus. In fact, I think this would work as a UK garage song with that vocal sample if you speed up the whole track and add some actual groove to it, so someone please get on that because otherwise I don’t see any reason why this is so high. It’s just lethargic R&B, really just basic and tired.

Conclusion

Yeah, this was a big week but sadly I think it is shrouded in a lot of mediocrity that I think will be gone by next week, so whilst the UK chart chaos can be fun, especially when I’ve got nothing else to do, I’m not sure if any of these songs really stick. Best of the Week goes to Taylor Swift’s re-recorded “Love Story” with a really close Honourable Mention in slowthai’s “MAZZA” featuring A$AP Rocky, just hedging out Headie One. With the worst, we have a lot to choose from but because of its high debut and hence the expected hype, I’ll give Worst of the Week to “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK, with tied Dishonourable Mentions to “Big” by Rita Ora, Imanbek and David Guetta featuring Gunna, and honestly Central Cee’s “Commitment Issues” for not working on any level, though it really easily could have gone to Dua Lipa, P!nk or Abra Cadabra. Here’s this week’s top 10:

Honestly, I have no idea what’s coming for next week other than Ariana Grande’s deluxe edition. Maybe Trippie Redd’s pop-punk album can make somewhat of a splash? I don’t know, I don’t think anything too big is coming but I’m probably wrong. I just know that a lot of this’ll be gone by next week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you feel the need to do so and I’ll see you next week.

[crimsondomingo]

I literally can't stop thinking about your Lizard Camp AU. I'm dying to know what happens after Barry wakes from the Coma. Does he immediately go to Len? Does Len resign? Does Len still be come Captain Cold, only this version helping the Flash? How does Len being the love of Barry's life effect EoWells's plans?? I'd say I'm sorry for all the questions, but...I'm kind of not, cause this AU sounds awesome.

I actually love this AU so much despite the silliness of howit starts and that it’s the Lizard Camp AU, lol.

Because we have Lisa, who we know can just devour any topicand make anything of herself, so now she’s a biologist and zookeeper, who Ithink would add another layer to Team Flash, as she’d have a different take onthings than Caitlin as a human doctor. Imagine how beneficial that could be whendealing with mutations and the craziness of meta humans?

You also have Len and Mick as partners on the force whowould be friends with Joe.

Again, this AU has Len and Mick younger, only like 4-5 yearsolder than Barry and Lisa, so I think Joe would feel responsible for them. He helpedthem get the internship, helped them through the force, encouraged them to gofor detectives young.

Imagine they both really like Eddie too and are on his sideabout Iris, despite Joe being like NO COPS. Mick buying Eddie a drink to easehim about how Joe is going to kill him someday is my jam.

Everyone is doing quite well as the months wane on fromBarry’s accident, hard as it is, but Len…he’s not the same. Sure, Joe and Irishave even more to mourn, but Len…he’d been so close to finally admitting hisfeelings. He’s crushed, sees all his dreams wrapped up in the tubes in Barry’sbody and can’t take it.

Then Barry wakes up. Barry in this has moved on from Iris,so his first memories are—oh god, I was going to meet Len! Why am I such a dorkand I had to be late, and that’s why I got struck by lightning!

He doesn’t know where to go, because he assumes no one willbe home in the middle of the day. He goes home anyway to get some fresh clothes—thankgoodness Joe still keeps the spare key in the same place—then sets out.

He goes to the zoo first because it’s closest, and he findsLisa, who is beside herself. In this, Barry, Lisa, and Iris are like aninseparable trio, and Iris and Lisa grew even closer while Barry was away. Shetells him where he can likely find Iris, since the rest are all at the CCPD oraround town on cases, so Barry chooses to see Iris next.

We get almost the reunion we saw in canon, only Len is theretoo, and when Barry hugs him after Iris, he says, “Sorry I’m late for our date.”He’s joking, doesn’t think Len meant it as a date, just a friend thing, but Lenis overcome with emotion. Barry’s never seen him so emotional. Still though,Len can’t say anything yet, it’s too much for him to handle having Barry back.

Neither of them confesses anything because as soon as theythink they might, Barry’s powers start to manifest and Barry starts spendingmore time at STAR Labs. Joe asks him not to tell anyone because if Lisa or Lenor anyone else knows, it’s that much more likely Iris will find out and be indanger—plus he thinks of Lisa, Len and Mick as his kids too, so he doesn’t wantTHEM in danger.

Barry hates it. He wants to tell his friends the truth sobadly. Plus because of becoming The Flash, he’s spending more and more timewith Caitlin, Cisco, and Wells, so his friends feel like he’s pushing themaway, and Len wonders if it’s just another sign that Barry would never beinterested in him.

But then of course The Flash keeps popping around to giveIris leads on stories and Len leads on cases, and much like he flirted withIris in canon, he flirts a little with Len here too. Len can’t help beingintrigued, even if the person he really wants is so much simpler than asuperhero.

Meanwhile, Wells was expecting things to turn outdifferently. He’s from our canon universe (sort of), but his meddling causedenough ripples that for whatever reason, Lisa wanted to go to that camp, whichchanged everything. On the plus side, it means there won’t be a Captain Cold toslow Barry down, but he didn’t expect to have Leonard Snart, Mick Rory, andLisa all in Barry’s life another way. His larger support system makes thisharder.

Because Len is naturally suspicious and worries about Barryspending so much time at STAR Labs, being Wells’ guinea pig.

Let’s say Cisco still made the guns, the same guy stole themand sold them to bidders, just people other than Len. The guns are used in someheists, but these people obviously don’t know what they’re doing. Len and Mickare on the case and confiscate the guns, and given the meta humans around,Singh decides to form a meta human task force with Len and Mick using thosevery guns to protect themselves, making them Heat Wave and Citizen Cold, withCisco making them other gear on the side.

Before Barry knows it, Len and Mick are on the streets withhim as The Flash and it gets harder and harder to hide his identity. It’s onetime after a big fight that Barry gets hurt and flashes back to STAR Labs fortreatment that Len and Mick come in looking for Cisco to tune-up their guns anddiscover the truth.

Len is hurt more than anything that Barry didn’t tell him. Barrytries to explain it was because of Joe, but there’s still a blowup. Barryconfesses the truth to Iris and Lisa later, both of whom are like…yeah, we figuredit out a while ago, Bar, though Iris still gives Joe a hard time. Now it’s upto them to get Len and Barry through this.

One thing Len can’t ignore is the way The Flash flirted withhim all the time. He wonders and hopes that Barry meant it, and then Barrycomes to him and finally confesses everything on a rooftop they’ve met on manytimes as Flash and Cold, only for Len to confess he’d been meaning to sweepBarry away since before the accident. Ice and lightning go together perfectlyturns out.

Wells, however, isn’t happy with this development becauseCold on Flash’s side is far more dangerous. He sets his sights on ridding himselfof this new threat immediately.

Bonus points for Eddie and Mick becoming besties, andCaitlin and Lisa too. GoldenVibe of course also happens. And I’d go forKillerWave, but Ronnie wouldn’t die in this verse, so maybe…Mick and Hart?

[adeadlysong]

"Countess, do you like Freyr or Apollymi? We're confused, honestly."

@ribbedxgloves

“I love both of them!” The Countess declared. “There is no one or the other in this case. It’s Freyr *and* Apollymi.”

Having polyamorous relationships in Melodia were more commonplace. Not as much as monogamous, but it was generally accepted here. Tahirah couldn’t fathom choosing between one or the other. She loved both of them wholly and truly.

[adeadlysong]

Freyr believed some clarification was necessary, so he elaborated, "I meant she is herself, and you are you. But you both are very wholesome, I feel lucky to have you as my lovers."

@ribbedxgloves

“Ahhhhh i see.” Tahirah blushed softly, but hugged Freyr. “Thank you, Freyr....and I feel lucky, to have you both as my lovers, too.”

[adeadlysong]

Freyr referred to Apollymi as he stated to Tahirah, "she is who she is, baby. Just like you."

@ribbedxgloves

Tahirah smiled softly as she looked from Freyr to Apollymi.

“You think she’s just like me?”

Tahirah looked from herself to Apollymi. Apollymi was clearly taller than her, even if they were both women, and Apollymi had different combat skills...oh, wait, did he mean by personality?

“I think she’s wholesome, too!”