#UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT TO END IT HERE BUT THIS IS JUST .... UHMMMMMMMMMMM

[yoakenouta]

ㅤㅤRITSUKA blinked at the accusation, taken aback by how annoyed Dark was by the prospect. He listened to Dark's reprimands with an unreadable expression before a simple smile took his lips in response. " ... When you put it that way, I guess it can be pretty selfish. I mean, it's not like I don't understand where you're coming from; I have been on the same end more times than I can count so I do agree that it's pretty frustrating but ... isn't it normal to feel like you shouldn't be loved by anyone ? " He said it so matter-of-factly to the point it seemed like a given. " Well ... people have varying reasons for feeling this way but it's not as if we don't consider your feelings. It just feels ... unfathomable, I guess ? Like there's some kind of unbreakable glass between the other person and I. At least in my case, I still don't think I have much to offer ... rather, there's nothing that I can give at all. " His gaze momentarily faltered and flicked elsewhere as if he resented that very fact but the moment came and went and he was back to his usual smile ( it was if he hadn't just said anything at all ).

ㅤㅤ" That's the spirit ! If there's anything that I admire about you, it's that you're determined. Or maybe persistent is the right word ? " He laughed. " I really hope things work out for the both of you either way. Even if nothing happens now, you can at least look forward to the time you have with her. " That was the great thing about being in love after all. " H - huh ? Ahaha ... you don't need to go out of your way return the sentiment. I mean, we've been a lot less clumsy about it compared to the start so I think we're finally settling in. Besides, it's pretty embarrassing when you bring it up but ... well ... right. " The brief fluster had come to a wane and there it was again, that same distant expression with a smile still somehow plastered with a smile.

ㅤㅤ" Thanks. "

' don't lie to me , you little ... ! ' grr , grr ! whatever , he wouldn't press ! there were more important things to worry about , anyways ! ' --- the heck do you mean you understand where she's coming from ? are you saying you'd give someone that kind of crap , too ? ' the thin , serpentine slits of his eyes stare and jab at the other . ' ... when someone works up the courage to confess , and you say you don't want to be with them because of yourself , then even if it's supposed to be for the other person's sake , isn't it still selfish ? i mean , it's fine to worry , but rejecting someone solely off the basis of yourself alone , ' he huffs , and his voice softens with a muffling smother of faint , faraway hurt , ' it's frustrating . '

with that alone he sinks into his own quiet thoughts . true , it wasn't as if the girl he liked was screaming and running away from him at first sight , but having to endure a scowl followed by ruthlessly cutting words offered up with a smile might have been even worse in some regards . knowing that she might have similarly , if not even more relentlessly verbally whipped herself like the way she did him was just ...

' ... well , everything should be fine . ' a sigh . his head turns , his eyes set away and left to roam about the room , away from ritsuka's features . ' nobody can say what'll happen in the future , so i'll look forward to it . moreover , it'd be more surprising than not for the great me to miss out on his real treasure , right ? ' with or without ritsuka's faith and assistance , he'd have kept going until something became of himself and his other . ' --- as for you , i can only wish you happiness as well , master . after all , a clumsy dance is still a dance : even if you both end up stomping around inelegantly or stepping on each other's toes every once in a while , there should still be a warm and precious hand in your hand . '

[hobisolostan]

85 question tag thing 🏹

tagged by: @sleepbugs (ilu !!! 😙)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 (lmao funnyyyy) people

tagging: uhmmmmmmmmmmm @libraop @justinsgf @lilchims @namugf @brightjoon @moon9oddess @joonsgoth

last:

1. drink: h2o 

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my yearbook group chat .. its just spams from my friend cause she’s touring Europe ALONE , lucky bitch

4. song you listened to: always you - astro (stan talent !!!) 

5. time you cried: two days ago ish

ever:

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: what is this kiss?

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: is this a question?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

12. favorite colours: blues/neutrals 

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: yup!!

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: yea ig ?? not like crying with tears streaming down my face but definitely a few tears slipped out 

18. found out someone was talking about you: o yea

19. met someone who changed you: yup

20. found out who your friends are: lets not go there :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them ??? stranger danger kids dont friend people u dont know irl

23. do you have any pets: skjfl i wish :(( 

24. do you want to change your name: no actually, as much as i hate when it gets mispronounced and not like even a tiny mispronunciation, it literally gets butchered :) , it has a lot of ties and significance to my culture which is important to me

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friend whom i would die for (the one in Europe rn) invited me over to her place and her and two other friends planned surprised gifts and hot pot ! her mom literally paid for all the ingredients akfdskjl i love her sm :(( 

26. what time did you wake up today: 7 am, my body she just did it ? idk lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching a horror movie

28. what is something you can’t wait for: MONSTA X CONCERT TOMORROW AKFSJD;LF IM SO MFCKING EXCITEDDD GONNA SEE ALL MY BABIES 🤩🤩🤩🤩

29. what are you listening to right now: aint nobody takin my baby - russ

30. when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no

32. something that gets on your nerves: narrow-mindedness, arrogance, ignorance, when ppl chew with their mouth open skfsjldfjs

33. most visited website: definitely between tumblr and youtube 

34. hair colour: black

35. long or short hair: short, it’s just below chin level rn sklfjsld

36. do you have a crush on someone: u ask me when hoseok is right ... there ?

37. what do you like about yourself: uh my lips and dimples and the fact that I’m pretty self-driven 

38. want any piercings: more like need ????? ive been wanting double helix piercings for the longesstttt time. might get some this year .. hopefully

39. blood type: i literally dont even know sklfjskd but its definitely a or b or ab since my parents are a combination of those 

40. nicknames: utshee ? just my normal name but instead of the ending ah sound its an “e” as in the letter e lol and then ironically its usa, long back story id rather not get into lol. shira if ur reading this u know 😔

41. relationship status: married to hoseok obviously

42. zodiac: this is virgo solidarity !!! 

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv shows: dont really watch tv shows anymore tbh but the last good one i can remember was supernatural but its .. been awhile lmao

45. tattoos: nooooooo , i want a few small ones tho one day when im of age

46. right handed or left handed: normal regular righty 

47. ever had surgery: nope, i did fracture my arm once tho when i was like uh 2-3 

48. piercings: 2! just regular earlobe piercings, one on each

49. sport: volleyball, lacrosse, and gymnastics i did for a while competitively. i also love ultimate frisbee and long distance running on my free time

50. vacation: i havent been out of country since i came here to the states ksdjsdf my family just isn’t one of those that take family trips, at least out of country 😔ig my last family vacation was 2016 winter break where we drove down to las vegas and arizona to see the grand canyon. it was so damn cold omg

51. trainers: um i have superstars and two pairs of nikes that i wear on the daily. i really want some new van slip ons tho ugh 

more general:

52. eating: i eat literally everything lmao, im one of the least picky eaters tbh but i prefer seafood over meat. i still like and eat meat but sometimes id just .. rather not lol

53. drinking: water !!!!!!!!!! ( i down a good 10 cups at least everyday) i also love boba so much omggg u dont understand but i really do try to limit myself 😔

54. i’m about to watch: perfect man jimin focus skdjfklsdf jimin stans raise up for ur national anthem !!!!!

55. waiting for: college apps to be over even tho they technically havent opened yet akfjds;lfs

56. want: to go into my career field with zero in debt so basically impossible but a girl can dream :( 

57. get married: yea if it happens sure

58. career: medical !!! looking into anesthesiologist but im not set on anything, just wanna do Doctors Without Borders as my end career goal 😔

which is better:

59. hugs or kisses: kisses pls 

60. lips or eyes: eyes bc they just convey sooo much about a person but also pls ... if ur lips are as cracked as the sidewalk outside of my house we’re never smooching 

61. shorter or taller: definitely taller, also wanna be the little spoon during cuddles so yea

62. older or younger: older for sure because i look at the underclassmen and shudder in disgust bc they’re ur typical overgrown yet immature high school students. honestly dont know wtf happened to selecting genuine students to enroll into our school but skfjsdfjs im out of there in less than a year so whatever

63. nice arms or stomach: arms bc i like tummies but if u have abs i dont mind either

64. hookup or relationship: can’t really see myself doing hookups so relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: depends? i definitely want a playful relationship but they should know when their behavior is verging on immature so ig slightly  leaning on the more hesitant side

have you ever:

66. kissed a stranger: no

67. drank hard liquor: o yeaaa, new years eve and home alone with my in-college cousin lmaoo

68. lost glasses: I LOST MY FIRST PAIR IN 5 MONTHS AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHERE THEY ARE ???? i had to buy another pair after begging my parents for a good 2 months bc the first pair were so mfcking expensive ksfjsld tbh the ones i wear right now are a lot cuter tho so 

69. turned someone down: yes

70. sex on first date: no

71. broken someone’s heart: maybe ? dont know to the extent the other person liked me so

72. had your heart broken: no

73. been arrested: no

74. cried when someone died: yea

75. fallen for a friend: yea 

do you believe in:

76. yourself: love urself right hahha :)) lmao im trying ig

77. miracles: hmm sure 

78. love at first sight: idk depends, im neutral. definitely think theres more to it tho

79. santa claus: no, wish i was still at that age where i did 

80. kiss on first date: hmm depends

81. angels: yea

other:

82. best friend’s name: i have two: one’s andreana and the other is sybil (the one who left me here to die while she went to europe yea, love that betrayer)

83. eye colour: dark brown

84. fave movie: was gonna say black panther but thats too much of a popular opinion so the ritual ?? its a horror movie which i love so much omg fljsd and it was surprisingly good ??? definitely have not said that about a horror movie in the longest time bc the newer ones are always so cringy and predictable 

85. fave actor: mistre kim seokjin of course 🤩🤩