#VeggieTales fic

[rumor-weed]

Double Date(s)

((random plot generator drabble)) ((PetuniaXLarry)

Petunia felt an electric shock go through her body when she saw the note on the calendar. Interview with Larry-Boy.

She had scheduled the interview for the channel, put it on the calendar, and then proceeded to delete the information from her brain once she clocked out. This was how she ended up, two weeks later, calling Larry and asking him excitedly if he might go to the renaissance festival with her. Larry loved the jousts. They bonded over a shared love of the annual festival during her first movie, Duke and the Great Pie War, and she had finally worked up the nerve to invite him to go with her this year.

She didn’t have the heart to break the date, but she certainly couldn’t risk losing the interview. Larry-Boy was always so busy with crime-fighting, it was hard to get any time with him.

Her work cellphone rang, and she answered it quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey, ‘Tunia, I -”

“Larry? Why are you calling my work phone?”

“Your... what? Wait. Oh, shit - I mean - I thought this was your personal.”

“I never gave you my work phone number,”

“I... lost my contacts. New phone. Who this?”

“Larry.”

“I uh, had to look ya up,” Larry said. “This came up under your name, and... well, anyway. I um... well, I wanted to say... I um, I’m really lookin’ forward to the festival tomorrow and all -”

“Oh. Um... yeah, me too! I’ve been looking forward to it all week, and I don’t wanna -”

“I mean, we don’t gotta do it if you don’t wanna.”

“I do wanna! I very much wanna. But uh... I just... can’t decide,” she said, giving in when she realized she couldn’t bring herself to disappoint Larry. It had taken so long to work up the courage to even ask him out in the first place. “Should I dress up? Are you going to dress up?”

“Oh. Um, yeah. Yeah. Probably like, a pirate.”

“You and your pirates.” She said teasingly.

“You could be a pirate too. Like a couples costume. Uh, not that we’re - we’re not like, a couple-couple, but uh...”

Petunia’s cheeks turned the color of her namesake. “Yes! A pirate. I’ll do that. Thanks for making up my mind for me, Larry! I’ll uh... I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Wait -”

But Petunia hung up, her stomach twisting with knots and filling with butterflies. She calmed herself, took her phone, and dialed the number for Larry-Boy. She’d just ask if they could reschedule. Surely he’d understand.

The phone answered all too quickly, and a voice answered, somewhat deeply as if putting on a voice, “Uh, hello?”

“Larry-Boy, it’s Petunia Rhubarb, the news reporter? We had an interview scheduled, and -”

“Right. The interview. Um... truth is, I uh... I forgot. And scheduled some... crime-fighting that night.”

“You... scheduled your crime-fighting?” She asked, eyebrows narrowed. “I thought that was just... like, when you were needed.”

“I’m always needed. It’s a very dangerous... Bumblyburg is full of criminals, and crime. And criminals doing crime.”

“Well, um... I guess that works out, because I have... I have something too, and I had um... I had scheduled two things without thinking, and...”

“Phew. Well, I’m glad that works out for both of us.” Larry-Boy said, sighing in relief. “Because I gotta... I gotta fight that crime, ya know?”

“I mean, it’s very important,” she said, nodding solemnly. “When do you want to reschedule?”

“The day after tomorrow?” He suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea. I feel so bad. I was going to cancel my other plans, but I... the guy I like, he’s just so sweet, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

“Like?” The voice squeaked. “Like, like-like?”

“Oh. Um, yes. I - I guess,” she said with am embarrassed, soft chuckle. “It’s kind of like... the first time I’ve asked him out. But uh, the interview is super important, and I scheduled with you first, so -”

“Okaysoundsgreat, gottago and figure somethings out. Enjoy the renaissance fair! Bye!”

Petunia stood there in silence for a moment after he hung up, stunned. It took her a moment before she realized with faint amusement:

She had never mentioned the renaissance fair to Larry-Boy.

[goliaththegiantpickle]

Goliath the Giant Pickle was dead.

Dead tired of people always remembering him for boxing and his one role in Dave and the Giant Pickle, anyway. He did miss boxing, but he wanted more. He wanted people to know his real name, his real passion.

Goliath Gottik. Back before his boxing days he had been a prolific fanfic writer, writing for the Larry Potter and Twidusk series as a true goff with his best friend at the time, who went by the username xxxunogoffboi666xxx. People only ever seemed to care about Bring Me to Life, but nobody cared that he had written the original fic, Helena. xxxunogoffboi666xxx had blatantly ripped off his fic. Had ruined his reputation with accusations of stealing his sweatshirt (it never would’ve fit Goliath, and it was merely accidental that he had kept it for so long anyway, really. He just liked the way it always smelled faintly of onion. Nothing wrong with that.)

Things between him and... well, xxxunogoffboi666xxx, to protect his wishes to remain anonymous, hadn’t been... good, since then. Messy, complicated, like their entire relationship had been thrown in the blender and made into an animosity smoothie.

Was it all really over a sweatshirt? He had been annoyed with Obsidian Shadow Blackbird Madness Gontier, the goffik Scallion protagonist of Bring Me to Life, who thirsted over Larry Potter (known as Evil Incarnate in BMtL), and had a love rectangle with Bob Weasley (known as Ghost Pepper) and Dad Malfoy (known, for some reason, as Draco Asparagus). Goliath, upon reflection, didn’t think it was the ripoff that bothered him, but the many relationships xxxunogoffboi666xxx’s self-insert character seemed to have.

Well, xxxunogoffboi666xxx’s parents had been assassinated in a Hot Topic around that time, and recently had been adopted by an elderly grape, and it seemed to mostly be venting and therapeutic, so Goliath let it go at the time.

Things only changed when suddenly xxxunogoffboi666xxx’s claims of sweatshirt-stealing came up. Maybe he escalated things a bit, dropping xxxunogoffboy666xxx’s “less goff” name into the story, called him a “stupid fucking bastard”, and straight-up accused him of plagiarizing Helena. In his defense, xxxunogoffboy666xxx had killed off Goliath - known in the story as Oak, having had Petunia Granger (known as Demonmania) murder him - his character, and just offhandedly mentioned it. Didn’t even have the creativity to show and not fucking tell. Well, I’ll tell you, Goliath felt very angry about that.

Then, one day, xxxunogoffboi666xxx reached out to him again through a plea in one of his ANs. Well, okay, he could’ve spoken to Goliath, they literally lived in the same apartment complex, but he tried, and that mattered the most.

“AN: Goliath if ur reeding diz plz u can kep the stoopid swetshrt u can have anyting else of mine dat u want 2. u can come take anyting from my closet dat u want an i wont mind at all. i promise! u r a betr riter then me. i’m not ok (i promise) [gettit???] i luv u (in a gay wey)”

Goliath tried. Tried to write a new fanfic, collaborated with xxxunogoffboi666xxx, but... I Don’t Love You hadn’t felt right. It never felt right. Tragically, Goliath had grown out of his goffness. It was a phase, his mother was right, damn her pickled soul. xxxunogoffboi666xxx stayed goff, until being goff was less cool than being emo, and then he became emo, and eventually punk came back, and Goliath just didn’t recognize xxxunogoffboi666xxx anymore.

They moved on, made new friends, left their fanfic days behind, and watched from a distance as someone named Tobias Tomato claimed to be both of them, claimed to be none of them, claimed to have emailed the real author (though Goliath knew xxxunogoffboi666xxx had long ago lost the password to that email, and Goliath had pretended not to still have the notebook that had it written down on a page beside several favorite song lyrics written in blood-red pen ink) as they watched their silly stories grow into a beloved internet mystery.

Goliath often wondered why people always looked for xxxunogoffboi666xxx, why they quoted Bring Me to Life, why they often assumed xxxunogoffboi666xx had made it all up - including Goliath, including the sweatshirt - just to troll the internet.

They never looked for Goliath Gottik, who never loved boxing as much as he did writing and My Chemical Romance and Three Days Grace, and who never loved boxing as much as he once had loved xxxunogoffboi666xxx. They never looked for the pickle who still held on to a sweatshirt that never fit, that still smelled faintly of onion, that had eyeliner stains and colored hair dye streaks soaked into the soft, faded grey fabric. Maybe he was jealous of the attention xxxunogoffboi666xxx got. Maybe he just missed xxxunogoffboi666xxx.

Goliath was Not Okay (I Promise).

[frankencelery]

Frankencelery was dead.

His celery skin, gleaming in the faint moonlight, captured an eerie ghoulish glow. Almost as if he were... alive.

Alas, his body lay without movement, lay dead and still and utterly empty, soulless eyes weeping celery juice from their tear ducts. If it had been raining, the narrator would say that the angels were weeping for him, however, it was unfortunately very clear, and the weather was being very unsympathetic to him.

He was too perfect for this world. Created from the most beautiful parts of different celery, given the sexiest eyebrow known to man, the purple eyeshadowed eyelids of a supermodel, the bolts from a really sexy hot car fastened into his neck, he lay there beautiful and dead as the day he was made.

His creator was nowhere to be found when the body was discovered. The man who brought him from death, who molded him, who placed a gentle kiss upon his forehead and promised to protect his new creation, gone.

The doctor’s tattered lab coat, with a name plate, F. Rankeinstine. That’s all the evidence of his life that was left, draped over the body like a blanket, as if it might keep his cold, lifeless body warm.

If Frankencelery was dead, it could only be by the hands of the man who made him, who knew his weaknesses. His Achilles peel, if you will.

A voice not unlike Vincent Produce came from the heavens,

“You can’t make the perfect man, you just have to meet him. Meet your new Ghoulfriend or Boyfiend on MonsterDates dot com. We make finding Loathe easier.”

“Cut! That’s a wrap!”

Phil Winklestein sat up, shaking his head tiredly.

“Something wrong, Phil?” The director, an old friend of his named Kyle Lill asked. “I thought that take was great. I really believed you were dead.”

“No, it was... it was fine.” He said faintly, and said, “I just... feel weird doing commercials like these.”

“Dating commercials?”

“Always being Frankencelery. Don’t you think there’s more to me than that?”

“Hey, people love Frankencelery. It’s your brand! Own it.”

“Maybe, just for once, I wish people would love Phil.”

[hwatermelons]

art student!hongjoong watercoloring you in his cold-pressed notebook while you pose for him on a stool in a dimly lit room. the only light source being the moonlight through the circular window in the ceiling that shines like a spotlight on your perch. he's getting a little frustrated, making tweaks to his work, wondering why he can't quite get your likeness right. maybe it's the lighting, or the anatomy, or even the medium itself?

he looks up to reference you again and notices you smiling encouragingly, despite sitting there in the same position for half an hour. the way your cheek twitches up with your expression. your eyes shifting colors as you blinked, going from their natural color to a vivid, iridescent version of it as the moonlight fell on them. the shimmering dust particles in the beam of light giving you an air of ethereal beauty, radiant against your dark surroundings.

thats when he realizes--there's no capturing the real thing.

[itsamepatches]

""edgy"" veggietales fics written by nonfans on AO3 be like

"title: sexy fruit talez and larry the cucumber has sex with u and peas are squashed by god

summary: I wrote while high lol :)

content: rape, vore, underage, violence, major character death rating: Explicit"

[barleyo]

Tour guide.

Mayor Archibald X Fem! Reader X SW! Petunia (smut)

A/N: I’m sorry. They’re human, if it makes you feel better.

Summary: Oh dear.

(Y/N) walked down the darkening streets of Big-City, stopping by a large building. The sign on the door read, ‘town hall.’ She gently pushed the door open, and found it completely empty.

“Hello? Uhm, is anyone here?”

“Hello, hello!” A tall man walked out from behind a door with and iced window, keeping peeping eyes out of it. “I am the mayor, Archibald. What can I help you with?”

(Y/N) quickly looked him up and down, trying not to come off as rude. She noticed his highly business focused attire, with a monocle and bow tie accompanying his outfit. 

“Hello, Archibald. I am (Y/N), I’m Madame Blueberry’s niece. Sorry if I came too late. She told me it’d be wise to come down to city hall and get a tour of the town. Is that something that could be arranged here?”

“Oh, of course, dear! Not too late at all. Madame Blueberry is a good friend of mine, you know. Here,” he ushered her to the office from which he walked out of, “I can get you all set up here.”

She took her seat across from him at a small desk. Papers and assorted pens were scattered around the table.

Archibald adjusted his monocle briefly while scanning through various documents. His brow arched a bit in confusion.

“Is there a problem?”

“Oh, well, not really.” He shook his head. “It’s just that I can’t seem to find your documents. You need them to move here, but if they are on the way now—“

“No, no, I’m not moving to Big City, Mr. Archibald. I’m just staying for a bit, like a vacation,” she said.

“Oh? For how long, if you do not mind my asking?”

“For this week and half of next. Auntie wanted me to pay her a small visit, but I’m sure she doesn’t want me here forever,” she said through a small chuckle. “The women in my family sure love each other, but we love our personal space a bit more.”

“Well then, paperwork isn’t necessary. Now, about the tour,” Archibald said while placing the papers back down, “I’d be more than happy to show you all our main spots here, but there are a few places that I cannot take you.”

He pulled out a small map with certain places circled in red.

“Here,” he pointed, “is the shopping district. I would show you around there, but it will be extremely crowded there. Holiday shopping, and whatnot.”

She nodded.

“This is the port, which I see no point in showing you, nothing but fish and cargo ships there. I’m sure a young lady, like yourself, wouldn’t be too interested in something like that, would you?”

“No, I’m sure I can do without the port.” (Y/N) let a small smile cross her face. She thought Archibald was quite funny, though perhaps a bit ‘dorky.’

He flashed a sweet, wide smile back at her. “Here is one of our college buildings. There was another place, I believe I forgot to circle it.” He stood up from his seat and walked to where (Y/N) sat, trying to read the street names. “Oh. Yes, uhm, I can’t take you here either,” he tapped a spot.

“What’s that? Another shopping center?”

“No, it’s, uhm…” His face slowly started to heat up. He rolled the map up and held it under his arm during his pause in speech. “In the city we have some unsavory places, you see. That is one of them. It just isn’t the type of place a someone like you should be.”

“Why is that? No to be rude, but maybe it’s my type of place. Maybe I would like to be there. Urban areas don’t scare me.” She crossed her arms lightly, curious to know why she could not be there.

“I cannot take you there because it’s, uh, it is where our ‘gentlemen’s clubs’ are located. That is where the strip clubs were built.”

She made a small ‘o’ with her mouth and nodded slightly.

“Yes, uhm, well, that’s about all there is our little city.” He took the rolled up map and placed it under his desk, procuring a smaller version to hand to (Y/N). “Here, hold onto this for our tour tonight. I’d do it now, but later tours are so much easier. Oddly enough, people around here act like we’re a small town: going to bed early and such.”

“I guess I’ll see you tonight then, Mayor Archibald.” She grabbed the small map and walked out, already making her way to her aunt’s house down the street. 

(Y/N)’s head was filled to the brim on her journey to her temporary home. She thought about the mayor, about how strange, yet kind he was. She thought him quite smart and perhaps a bit attractive, but too awkward to be called suave. A flicker of connection passed through the two of them, enough for her to want to explore him and dig up information. She shook these thoughts out of her mind just as she reached the door. She walked right in, it was unlocked.

“Auntie, I’m back home. You have such a weird mayor,” her voice faded out a bit at her last statement.

The small, round woman turned the corner from the kitchen, wiping her dainty hands off on her apron.

“Hello, dear. Welcome back, I was just in the kitchen. Come, I’ve made your favorite.” A plate of small assorted tarts sat on the wooden dining room table. Madame Blueberry sat across from (Y/N). “Now, eat up, but you simply must tell me how the little meeting went!”

“Oh, well, it wasn’t anything special, just, uhm,” she paused while chewing on a tart, “The mayor, Archibald, is pretty nice. A bit strange, though.”

A snort escaped the older woman. “Yes, he’s quite eccentric, but I suppose that’s why I enjoy being around him so much. Such a fun man when you get to know him.”

“Really? He seems like the prudish kind, especially when he was talking about…” (Y/N)’s voice trailed off again, but her aunt did not seem to notice.

“Prudish? You should’ve seen him in his youth,” Madame said with a giggle, “He has not changed much either, he just hides that side of himself for professionalism’s sake.” 

“I’m sure he was a real party animal, hm, Auntie?”

“He really was! I remember, for instance, he had his eighteenth birthday at, what was it called? Oh, yes, ‘Show Stoppers.’ It’s the oldest strip club in Big City.” 

“Oh? Which district is that in?”

“Well, our stripping district is its own thing, it’s down by the port. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” (Y/N) reached down for another tart, a chocolate one. “Just curious.”

“I see. You know, it’s still open after all this time. The same man still owns it, he’s a good friend of mine. They have the best drinks in the city too.”

“Sounds nice, I might take a little trip there. I was itching for a drink the whole plane ride here,” (Y/N) confessed. 

“Are you positive? It’s the filthiest part of town.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Besides, I’m not a child, the deep part of the city is nothing new.” 

Madame chuckled, “Well, when you do go, tell the owner Bluebell said hello.”

“Bluebell?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Just an old nickname.” A red tint graced her face. “Go on, I’ll just be here.”

(Y/N) nodded and ran upstairs to change. She ended up choosing the first thing she saw in her suitcase and a pair of her aunt’s highest heels. She left without a word, seeing that Madame Blueberry disappeared back into her kitchen. 

She pulled out the map she had folded into her pocket, finding where she needed to go. It wasn’t a very long walk, so she reached her destination in no longer than fifteen minutes, as it really was a small city. A large neon sign confirmed where she was, along with the explicit posters on the outside of the windows. She eyed the small “now hiring” sign as she walked in.

“Hey there, young lady,” an older man said, “Could I take a quick look at your I.D.?”

(Y/N) handed the plastic card over.

“Blueberry? Do you know a Madame Blueberry, by chance?”

“Yeah, she’s my aunt, actually,” she took the card back.

“I knew you looked familiar! God, has anyone told you that you look just like her? It’s like looking at a photo,” he chuckled.

“You know her well, I assume?”

“Mhm, haven’t seen her in awhile though. I actually own this place. I’m Ted, by the way.”

“Oh, in that case, she told me to let you know that ‘Bluebell’ says hello.”

He started to walk over to the bar, she followed behind him quickly. They sat down in the nearly empty club.

“Gee, I sure remember that name! Well, anyway, what are you doing here? You’re not here to—?”

“To work?” She shook her head. “No, I’m not. I shouldn’t be in the city long enough for all that, I’m just here for a drink.”

“I’ll tell you what, kid, since you drove me around memory lane, drink whatever you want on the house.” He slapped the tabletop lightly and smiled, “Oh, and, you know, if you ever need a job, I got you covered.”

“Thanks, Ted, I appreciate that,” she smiled crookedly.

(Y/N) took her drink and walked down to the mostly empty tables by the stage. Strobe lights flashed and the music blasted as a tall, ginger woman walked out. She took notice of the few people in the crowd and decided to focus on (Y/N), holding eye contact as she did her set. She spun around on the thin pole on the stage, supporting her with her legs as she felt up and down her body with her hands. 

She went on for only a few minutes more, flashing vulgar signs and lusty looks (Y/N)‘s way.

The woman finally ended by edging over to (Y/N)’s table, stopping right in front of her on her knees. She leaned over the side of the stage.

“Hey, there,” she purred, cupping (Y/N)’s face, “You’re a bit too cute to be patronizing a place like this, don’t you think? You a new hire or what?”

(Y/N) gulped and looked up at the woman through her eyelashes, not noticing the club’s door opening. She quickly grabbed a small stack of bills and held them out to the woman. “No, I’m just here to, uhm—!”

“To watch me? You’re too sweet.” She pushed (Y/N)’s money back to her. “You keep that, honey.” 

“No, please take it! You looked so beautiful up there!”

“Pop the money right in there, if you want me to have it so bad.” The woman cracked a small smile and cupped her boobs, pushing her cleavage out to (Y/N). 

She tucked the money in between the woman’s breast, averting her eyes the best she could. 

“Thanks, honey. I’ll see you later,” she patted the money further down her bustier. She slid off the stage and collected from the few others around the stage, then disappeared to the back.

(Y/N) jumped as she felt a hand gently tap her shoulder. 

“Ted? Oh, you scared me.”

“Sorry, kid, I saw you watching Petunia, and didn’t want to interrupt, but, uh, someone’s here asking for you.” He pointed to the front of the club where Archibald stood nervously. “What’s with you knowing all my old friends, eh?” He chuckled.

“Archibald?” She walked over, her face still warm. “Sorry, were you looking for me?”

“Yes, your Aunt said you would be here, and I didn’t want you to miss our tour,” he fiddled with his hands. “Shall we get started?” 

Before she could answer the same woman appeared behind her, but she had thrown a dress on over her lingerie set.

“Bye, Petunia, see you tomorrow?” Ted asked.

“You know you will, Teddy. Hey, mayor! Hey, cutie, where are you going?” Petunia came up behind (Y/N), slightly snuggling into her neck.

She gasped.

“I’m taking (Y/N) here on a tour, as she’ll be staying here for a bit, that’s reminds me, your aunt wanted me to tell you—!”

“Oh, a tour? I know this place like the back of my hand. Mind if I tag along, Archibald?”

“No, I don’t.” Archibald felt his teeth grit together at the interruption, yet he shook his head. “No problem at all.”

Petunia grabbed (Y/N)‘s hand and ran out with her, leading her across the street. Archibald ran after the two, but he struggled to keep up.

“Here, right over here is my favorite restaurant.” Petunia pointed at a crammed building with one hand while she used her other to hold (Y/N)‘s.

“Luigi’s? What, is it a pizza place?”

“Yes, literally the best one! We should go one day. Would you like that, sweet pea?”

“Yeah, I’d love to. Uhm, I’d love to go with you. (Y/N) felt her face warm up at Petunia’s boldness. The prospect of ‘one day’ intrigued her. They barely knew each other, but somehow, (Y/N) didn’t mind that fact at all.

Archibald finally caught up to the pair. “Please, don’t rush off like that,” he huffed while he tried to catch his breath, “I cannot run like I could when I was young.” 

“Auntie says you could do a lot when you were young,” (Y/N) said suggestively with a snicker. 

“Really? Seems unlikely.” Petunia joined her in laughing.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I was quite a player as a youth! Some would’ve even called me a ladies’ man.”

Petunia let her laughter die out before she held (Y/N) from behind, gently slinging her arms around her neck. “Oh, really? I bet he’s lost all that experience by now,” she whispered into (Y/N)‘s ear. 

“I heard that! I’m not that old, you know! I have some life still in me.” Archibald crossed his arms, cinching his eyebrows together.

“Hm, you wanna prove it?” Petunia asked in a low, husky tone. 

He blushed.

“What do you mean by that? I don’t—“

“You know what I mean.” Still standing behind (Y/N), Petunia let her hands fall over the girl’s chest, gently massaging them. “I don’t live far from here, mayor. You wanna cut the tour short and prove yourself to us there?” Her purring voice aroused (Y/N). She felt her nipples harden under Petunia’s hands. 

Petunia gave him no time to answer as she lead (Y/N) to her apartment. They both heard loud steps follow behind them quickly. She was right, she lived only two minutes away. Petunia pushed the door open and left it cracked open so Archibald could come in. 

(Y/N) pushed her lips onto Petunia’s as she was pushed down onto her bed. Petunia quickly pulled away to unhook (Y/N)‘s bra and returned to her mouth, sucking on the girl’s tongue with a strong dominant energy. She ignored the sound of the door closing and footsteps walking over as she pulled down (Y/N)‘s panties. She dragged her finger through her slickness and brought it to her mouth.

“Here, I won’t hog her all to myself,” Petunia scooted to the side of (Y/N) and held her legs open, exposing her glistening cunt to Archibald. 

He slowly sunk to his knees at the corner of the bed, placing himself between (Y/N)‘s legs. He started to reach out, but brought his hand back. “Is it okay if, uhm…?” (Y/N) dug her foot into his shoulder, bringing him down to her slit in response. He pushed Petunia’s hands off and replaced them with his, hooking them under the thighs of the girl in front of him. He peppered the inside of her thighs with kisses, working his way up to her pussy. 

Petunia pushed her lips back against (Y/N) as her hips lifted up in an attempt to gain any sort of friction from Archibald. He obliged and sealed his lips over her clit and flicked it lightly, just enough to fulfill her. She stifled a moan behind the back of her hand.

“No, baby, you can’t do that.” Petunia snatched (Y/N)‘s hand away from her mouth and stroked the top of it with her thumb. “Don’t you want us to hear how good you feel? Yeah?” She let her hands cup (Y/N)’s boobs, groping them gently. A loud, slutty moan escaped the girl.

Archibald continued to lick stripes over her heated cunt and pushed two of his fingers into her entrance. He kept a steady pace as he fucked her with his digits, feeling her walls clench and release with each thrust. He gently curled them to hit the spongey spot inside of her. 

“Please, more, please,” (Y/N) babbled incoherently, pushing herself over his fingers.

“You heard her,” Petunia giggled and returned to (Y/N)‘s mouth.

“Okay. More, then.” He quickened his pace, now slamming into her aching cunt. Her walls spasmed quickly, trapping his fingers inside of her. She bit Petunia’s bottom lip gently to curb the shaking sensation within her. She tried to clench her legs together, but Archibald forced them back open and flipped her around on her stomach. He unzipped his pants, quickly slamming his cock into her. 

“Fuck, too much—“

“Hush, you’re doing so well, you know you can take it.” Petunia stroked her hair and wiped the tears forming in the corner of (Y/N)‘s eyes. “You look so pretty when you’re filled up!” 

(Y/N) pushed Petunia back onto the headboard, balancing herself on one elbow, and placed her hand between her thighs. She slipped under her panties and curled a finger into Petunia. She gasped at the prodding feeling. (Y/N) slipped another finger into the Ginger woman’s pussy while Archibald dug his nails into her hips, hitting deeper and deeper each time. She tensed up again, cumming over his length instead of his thin, nimble fingers this time. 

Archibald felt his core light up, and allowed himself a few final thrusts into (Y/N). He pulled out and let his cum spurt out onto her back. 

Petunia pulled (Y/N)’s shaking body up to her and snuggled up to her. She held her closely and threw a blanket over her shoulders. 

“You did so good, baby. Fuck, you were so pretty while he fucked you.” She stroked the girl’s hair, placing small kisses on the top of her head. 

(Y/N) felt herself sink into sleep as exhaustion crept up on her. She could faintly hear Archibald ask Petunia something.

“I’ll tell her, don’t worry. Goodbye, old man,” she snickered. Footsteps trailed off. “Honey, how would you like to stay in Big City? Archibald said your aunt wants you to move in.”

She hummed into Petunia’s shoulder, “Stay with you?”

“Sure, stay with me. Would that be okay?”

“Wanna stay with you,” she yawned, “I’ll stay.”

[obadiah-bumbly]

If VeggieTales Was A Popular Tumblr Fandom:

(I don't know anything about this fandom, I'm just making stuff up)

Larry/Bob shippers and Larry/Petunia shippers are at constant odds. A popular Barry blog says Parry is unimaginative and homophobic. The Parry clapback is a lengthy call-out about disregarding platonic male friendships and fetishizing gay men. There is never a resolution to this conflict.

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything Polycule truthers get constant pushback due to Pa Grape's 20 year age gap between Larry and Mr. Lunt. There is an absolute dumpster fire of an argument in the fan art community about whether it's ableist to give eyes to the human versions of Pa and Lunt. A controversial artist twinkifies all three of them. The fatphobia discourse starts and don't stop. They deactivate after being sent one too many hate asks.

A Jimmy/Jerry incest blog ended up with the URL of VeggieTales-Official.

There's a Junior Asparagus hate blog that posted weekly oneshots of Junior suffering in increasingly bizarre and gruesome ways, until they post a very long rant about US politics one day and never post again.

There is an unsurprisingly large vore community that is ignored by the fandom at large.

The longest fic in the fandom is a still ongoing Larryboy au that is nearly 650,000 words and gets progressively more grimdark as the story goes on.

The fandom at large accepts that the vegetables have invisible genitals, in the same way they have invisible hands. However, one adamant theorist insists they reproduce asexually, or at least have cloacas. This leads to the infamous blog veEGG-stables being created, the contents solely being related to the blogger's egg laying kink, and fascination with Scooter.

Archibald becomes a Tumblr Sexyman.

Mrs. Blueberry is the fandom milf, and often shipped with The Peach. Anyone that even implies that she's under the age of 40 gets dog piled.

The Boyz in the Sink are given the boy band treatment. They constantly clash with BTS over acronyms.

Someone attempts a New Testament fancast. They get sent death threats instantly.

[cherries-in-wine]

HIHI ADITI IM READIN A REALLY GOOD FIC RN AND ONE OF THE CHARACTERS REMINDS ME OF YOU LOL

BANGER

HI HI HI ELLIE OMG THAT'S SO COOL

I'm okay just tried HOW ARE YOU <3

[rumor-weed]

Secret Santa gift for @madame-blueberry

“How do I look?” Bob asked, adjusting his tie and nervously fiddling with the collar of his suit. “Ya look great, Bob! Don’t sweat it!” Larry chirped, smiling at his best friend from behind him in the mirror. “It’s a big day for her; I don’t want to disappoint.” “It’s a big day for both of you,” Larry pointed out. “You’re both getting married. To each other!” “I know, but Megan’s so worried about everything being perfect. It has to be perfect for her.” “Does it, Bob? Or are you just usin’ Megan as an excuse?” Bob stiffened at the accusation, and without turning around, he nervously laughed, “What do you mean?” “I mean, I think you’re the one nervous, and you’re the one who wants it to be perfect. You’re treatin’ this like one of the shows! Ya can’t direct your weddin’ -” “I can too!” Bob blurted out, indignant, before catching himself. “I mean, I - for her, not because I -” he broke off abruptly, and he said, “So what if I want it to be perfect? It’s supposed to be grand and beautiful, and… and I had this planned for so long, since I was a kid, and…” Larry nodded and said, “I know, Bob, but you’re too close to the worry to wedding - err, the wedding to worry. Nothin’s gonna go wrong!” “What if she changes her mind? What if she realizes she doesn’t like me like that?” Bob fretted. Larry gave a half smile. “Really, Bob? Ya don’t think she loves ya? She’s Madame Blueberry. She gave up a career on Broadway to work with ya on the show. She had that role in the Funny Girl revival - we couldn’t escape her singin’ Don’t Rain on My Parade whenever she had a minute to practice, and she gave it up to do more shows with you when you offered.” “Well, she failed that audition like, three times, but I get it,” Bob said, and he sighed. “Well, what if she comes to her senses? What if she realizes she can do better?” “She wants ya Bob, and what Megan wants, Megan gets. I don’t wanna be the one who has to go out there on your behalf and tell her ya got cold feet.” “Won’t be the first time she’s shot the messenger, but I made her promise not to bring her pistol this time,” Bob said. “If that makes it better.” “Nope, I’m not takin’ the chance, Bob.” “Is everyone else ready? The - the ring bearer, and the flower girl - are they -? Do they have the ring? The flowers? Do they know what to do?” “Egg Boy and Bathroom Girl are very capable, don’t worry!” “I’m nervous, Larry. What if I forget what to say when I see her?” “I’ll mouth the words to ya,” Larry said, adding, “I even wrote down what I remembered of your vows, so in case ya forget, they’re right here.” Bob turned and took the piece of paper from Larry, and he smiled tearfully. “You’re such a good friend, I - wait a minute,” he looked down at the paper and narrowed his eyes. “Larry, these aren’t my vows! These are just lines you wrote down from that weird Victorian play that predicted 9/11.” “Oh! Yeah, but they’re pretty romantic!” “I’m not reading these to her. I remember my vows; it’s fine,” Bob said, handing Larry back the note. There was a knock on the door, and Nezzer popped his head into the room. “Hope you’re ready - everyone’s seated, and it’s time to start.” “Okay, we’ll be right out. Thank you, Mr. Nezzer.” Bob answered hurriedly, waving him off. “You ready, Bob?” Larry asked as Nezzer left. Bob thought of Megan then: her laughter, smile, sparkling eyes, and cruel but playful teasing. He loved every moment with her, and he would love every second of their future. “You ready?” Larry repeated, looking concerned at Bob’s hesitation. Bob smiled then. “I’m ready. In fact, I can hardly wait.”

-

The wedding had gone off without a hitch, and it was as beautiful as Bob had hoped for, though not nearly as beautiful as his new wife was. Wife. He loved that he could call her that now. He rolled the word around in his mind as a tired Megan slumbered beside him in their wedding bed. Even now, he admired her beauty, gentle and slow breathing, fluttering eyelashes, and content, resting frown. Her blonde wig had been set aside, and her dark brown curls draped across the silk pillowcase. He was also tired from the wedding, but the day's excitement kept him awake, replaying the ceremony on a seemingly endless loop. It starts when he sees her walking down the aisle, her cheeks glowing pink and her elegant wedding dress and veil seemingly designed to rival Princess Diana’s in glamour, making her appear as if she is effortlessly floating among the flower petals. His first instinct is to draw his breath in awe and hold it until his heart begins to beat again. It fast-forwards then to when she’s standing in front of him, and instinctively, he reaches out to gently brush her cheek with the back of his hand affectionately. She doesn’t complain that he might ruin her makeup; she merely smiles, her eyes crinkling joyfully at the edges. Suddenly, he’s aware the officiant is speaking, and he remembers that there’s an audience, though, for the moment before, he would’ve sworn it was just the two of them. They say their vows, and he recites them without fail, and when it’s her turn, he finds himself hypnotized by how she forms her red-stained lips around each accented word and how she sews a tiny smile into each syllable. He savors the moment again when they share their first kiss as a married couple, pressing his lips into hers, melting a little when she embraces him passionately. He feels a little chill run down his spine. Before he knows it, his memory has caught up to the reception. He only steps on her foot once, clumsily, because he is too busy staring into her eyes to watch his feet. They laugh it off, and as their dance ends, she kisses him again, and his heart soars. This memory melts away, and he returns to the ceremony, watching her glide towards him down the aisle. This time, he is awoken from this memory by a sleepy, murmuring voice, “Robert, go to bed, mon ange.” “I’m sorry, Megan. Did I wake you?” “Non, but it’s been a long day. You should sleep. We have our honeymoon tomorrow. I cannot wait to show you Paris, but it is a very long flight.” Bob sighed, snuggling under the covers with his wife. “I love you.” “And I you,” she answered with a smile, curling up against him, “Or else I wouldn’t have married you. Now, goodnight, I am very tired.” He chuckled and kissed her goodnight on the forehead, and he closed his eyes and let his memories turn into dreams.

[snowbellewells]

Fandom Birthday Rec List for @jrob64

Happy Birthday, dear Joni! Happy Birthday to You!!!

Okay, when I set out to make this list of my favorites of your works, I had a couple in mind right off the top of my head, and thought "This is a no-brainer! It'll be easy!" You would think I'd have known better after the massive list I created when Krystal asked for our favorite fics overall a couple years ago and I ended up making a Sweet 16 style bracket to even narrow mine down. Needless to say, I ended up with a solid dozen stories on my paper, instead of the five or six I needed, and discovered a few hidden gems from way back before I knew you that I hadn't even read!! However, my very, VERY favorite has never wavered and is still exactly the same - you'll see! ;)

Anyway, I am so glad I found your wonderful writings, have gotten to know you in person, text with you, travel with you, and become genuinely good friends. Your are a blessing in my life, and I hope this gift brings a bit of a smile to your face as I try to celebrate the joy you've shared with us all in creating further adventures for our pirate and princess. Happy Birthday!!!

**Top 6 Favorite @jrob64 Fics (in descending order)**

#6 - "One Thrill Ride Leads to Another" (my own birthday fic! ;p )

This five part (six, with the epilogue) story is pure fun and chemistry and sweetness overload. I adore it more than I can really say, and am beyond flattered that a handsome sight and chance comment of mine helped to birth the original idea. And no, it isn't even just because this one include an alive and happy Graham as supporting character and a hilariously hot secondary Red Huntsman plot line -- though it certainly doesn't hurt!! ;) My rambling can't really do this one justice, so if anyone reading this has missed it, I beg of you: Check it out for yourself! It's a perfect summer treat!

#5 - "Silly Songs With Killian" (Modern AU one shot - adorable!)

Okay, I realize that I am using a valuable spot on this list for a fluffy little one shot, but it's just that much fun and has that much heartwarming power. I dare you to get the image of Killian playing VeggieTales on the guitar for a wildly enthusiastic audience of one small boy who is madly excited by the effort out of your head! You won't be able to - it's gonna stick with you and make you smile every time it floats back in!! If you've had a bad day and need a pick me up, this is your fic right here!

#4 - "Taking on Mrs. Jones" (hilariously hot silver fox one shot)

This is another more comic/lighthearted one shot, but I just can't resist it. In fact, I re-read it in making certain of my list, and I love it all the more. This one features a slightly older, professor Killian (one of my serious weaknesses) and a married version of CS. Plus, when he gets an overly flirtatious new co-worker who makes him uncomfortable - Emma comes perfectly to the defense of her man and teaches that girl a lesson.

#3 - "Ghosted" (a WIP supernatural modern AU MC for @cssns24)

This story is still in progress, but it has very quickly jumped the list to become one of Joni's best, best offerings (in my humble opinion)! I love the unusual and intriguing plot and can't wait to see how it will turn out. The inclusion of Will and Belle as secondary characters (and a secondary love story) is wonderful👩🏻‍🍳 *chef's kiss!* And a ghostly version of Liam absolutely tugs on my heart. Definitely check this one out if you haven't yet.

#2 - "Always in my Heart" (5 Part Modern AU, so feelsy and angsty and deep)

This one moved me to tears in the process, way more than once. I loved the long lost friends reunited aspect of this story, right from the start. I loved the sense of adopted family Emma has with David and MM, and most especially Ruth. (I always loved David's mom in canon, and the chance to see a lot more of her in this fic, and to see what this version of her means to Emma was priceless, even if heart wrenching too.)

#1 - "Sowing Seeds of Trust" (and its extra chapter "Marco's Legacy")

This story was the first one of yours I discovered, Joni, and I was completely captured! It was wrapped around my heart from the very first chapter. I loved the vulnerability and need, but also strength and resilience, in this version of Emma. I loved Killian's support, understanding and love in how he reached out to her. I love the friendships with David, MM, Ruby, and of course MARCO!! (He steals the whole show here, honestly!) The faith and restoration and perfect "happy beginning" after trials in this story are original, unique, and unforgettable. It's always going to be my favorite, I think, as it lead me to your writing to begin with, and it touched me deeply.

*Honorable mentions - if anyone is curious - also not to be missed:

"Snowstorm Confessions"

"Lonely No More"

"Faultline"/"Seismic Waves" (Liam x Elsa)

"Where Her Heart Belongs"/"Her Heart's Home"

"For the Sake of Henry"

Hope you enjoy your little list - and an absolutely wonderful day!!! Very Best Birthday Wishes to You!!!

[hballegro]

ive decided to make a veggietales reference in the next chapter of my bj goes to maine fic

[bunnyjoyce-blog]

I love your VeggieTales and Peanuts fics so nuch. <3 Especially loved the ones centering around the Larry-Boy universe. Are you okay with people sending you random asks to talk about that stuff? I love a good discussion. If not I hope all is well and God Bless!

As long as they’re healthy and respectful, I don’t mind ^_^ Thanks for your interest! 🎉 God bless you as well!

[itsamepatches]

Oh no, after almost four (4) years of absence, it's finally making a comeback thanks to this fic for inspiring me to continue the craziness of Angelique Angel Alexandria Avocado

Chapters: 1 (here) / 2 (here) / 3 (you are here)

🥑 (Story) Summary: It was just an ordinary day for me at my job at Big Idea Studios, but then I met up with a man whom I've adored for as long as I could remember. I have to have him! But I also have feelings for another. What do?

[enchantingruinscandy]

Okay uhm I looked it up and we started out STRONG OMG

For context I looked up veggietales fanfictions (further context in the tags of this post aka my previous post)

There are 263 results for veggietales

Slash fic and major character death in the first two fucking results

Also

How did that become 8 chapters? There's gotta be a chapter break every 600 words like w h a t

THE FACT THAT THE LAST ONE SAYS 'WOW NO SMUT'????? THEY ARE VEGETABLES

I can't T.T

[kairoscler]

Hey! I see that you write hcs for all the Sekai boys, so can please we get some for Akitoya (separate) and maybe Tsukasa to finish out the boys? Thanks and I loved your Rui fic!

Sure! Just starting off so sorry for the lack of consistent formatting, but what can I say? Lol, and I'm answering this ask at basically 6am, I did not sleep yet

Also THANK YOU SO MUCH it was my first Project Sekai fic and the first fic I've written in a while!

Also all the boys are getting surpruse tickle attacked because apparently none of them want to come home anymore aaaaaaaaa-

Akito Shinonome

This boy, fr, I feel like he's worse than Rui at asking for tickles, I mean, why the hell else would he wear layers casually???

Totally likes to act all ler until he's the one being tickled

But the only person he'd openly tolerate is Toya because HAVE YOU SEEN THEM SMILE AT EACH OTHER???

Even IF they're not gay for each other, they're still close enough friends that they would totally have tickle fights!!

Rui or Tsukasa try and tickle him? "Oops, my hand slipped, sorry senpai!" He is not at all sorry, especially not with Tsukasa

I mean he ocassionally tolerates them because they can also make Toya smile

As for spots, he totally D I E S if someone gets to the armpits or upper ribs or hips or thighs, basically layers help prevent him from dying whilst also looking rather stylish

Akito is so very much likely to tickle either Ena or Toya if he doesn't want to eat pancakes or cheesecake alone and they're reluctant to go with him.

That last point, you can thank one of the fics on here for, but I'm too lazy to find it...

Anyway, this ginger has a laugh as amazing as ginger ale to a sick plane passenger, I swear his giggles can cure Minecraft effect Nausea irl hhhh-

S c r e a m s when surprise tickle attack by An

Actually would scream when surprise tickled at all, but I think An is the most likely person to do it to him

Reeeeaaaaaally struggles with admitting to liking being tickled

Totally admits to liking tickling other people, even if it makes him look like a big softy

He blushes a LOT, like his hair and face kind of just automatically color match at some point and you can see it on his neck too

Looks like the tomato from VeggieTales

Toya Aoyagi

Quiet boy, so ADORABLE!

You can't tell me he doesn't totally have two lee moods, because one is more straightforward and he would only ask for tickles from Akito or Tsukasa, and the other is only slightly less straightforward because he'll hint at it, and then he'll get asked if he wants to be tickled and he'll blush and nod hhhhhh-

Less straightforward lee mood would probably be with the girls in VBS or Rui, and with the vocaloid peeps... I have no reasoning for this, it just would be, I think

He and Rui have plenty in common until it comes to tickles

Like he's totally straightforward about liking it and moreso than Rui about wanting it, and Toya is less likely to get back at someone for being tickled

When Toya is in a ler mood, he'd go for Akito... after asking permission of course

Too polite to ler for long, but will totally giggle with the lee

Comfort tickles, this boy loves them!!

I feel like he totally would tease actually, because he does to others as he wants done to him, but teasing also KILLS him

Neck tickles, gentle back tickles, kneecaps, those spots get him to a louder volume than he would otherwise be while talking

This boy totally giggles adorably, and it's as musical as his singing voice!

Imagining Akito or An asking him to do his scales whilst tickling him silly aaaaaaaaaa-

Is it just me, or would this boy totally be ticklish if one played with his hair just right?

Tsukasa Tenma

Much like his role in his troupe, he totally shines when he's being tickled, like his smile is so freaking bright and radiant it's like the sun just descended upon us all and oh God everything is burning-

Gets tickled quite often due to his reactions being overdramatic

Gets ESPECIALLY tickled by Rui and Emu and sometimes even Nene or Akito

Toya would totally tickle him too if he said he wanted it or if Toya asked and got permission

HIS NAME IS TSUKASA TENMA! HE IS A STAR! A WORLD FUTURE STAR! And Akito and Nene get tired of hearing it, so they resort to tickles instead

Much like his smile, and much like Rui, his laughter must be FREAKING SENT FROM THE GODS

IT WILL INSTANTLY BRIGHTEN ANY ROOM

Stick a Tsukasa being tickled into a room full of depressed Nightcore members, and watch the darkness temporarily recede

I swear, his laugh is MAGIC

Emu says it's very WONDAHOIII!! and Rui would probably agree

Emu and Rui would be right

He's such a struggler, like even though he likes it, he will not stay still AT ALL and it is no one's fault if he flails and smacks someone but he'll still apologize profUSELY

Wouldn't outright ask for tickles most of the time, but if he's moping around and Rui or Toya ask him what he needs, he MIGHT admit to it

Even if he doesn't, if they ask to tickle him and he needs it, he will agree and allow it to happen

Gets tickle attacked the most because sudden tickles break him right away and LIKE I SAID THAT LAUGH IS LITERALY SUNLIGHT

In terms of spots, for sure the usual chest, armpits, belly, ribs, sides, but his death spots are probably his hips and feet

What can I say, man has a good skincare routine so the soles of his feet must be well taken care of, right?

Is it just me or is this man also ticklish when others wash his hair? Like someone else's touch in his hair just sends e l e c t r i c i t y though him down to his ass and he squirms SO MUCH because of it

Last but not least, he totally hugs Rui just to tickle his neck with those luscious golden locks

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk~

[zooone]

would it be wrong of me to name part two of the gr fic after a veggietales song or no