#Vex Blackheart

[vamprnce]

3 am vampire postin 🦇🩸

my old ass oc named Pandora, she's a folk metal singer :)

bonus lines bc I like em:

[lizisshortforlizard]

Living Dangerously - Chapter 30

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster?

A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs.

But would they die for it?

Jurassic Park novel/Jurassic Park film (1993)

Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc

Warnings: some swears, harassment and misogyny in the workplace

Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @ocappreciation @wordspin-shares @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @themaradwrites @starryeyes2000 @kmc1989 (please lmk if you would like informed of my sporadic updates)

Read on Ao3

Chapter 29 | Chapter 31

I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

It turned out be a different sort of sleepless night to what Lizzy had been hoping for.

The wrong kind. 

She had lain awake for what few hours remained until morning, tossing, turning, occasionally weeping. Any sleep she managed to grasp was fitful, feeling like it only lasted a few seconds at a time.

She kept replaying what had happened in the clearing, each time a little more painful. Wondering how she could have behaved differently. How it could have turned out better than this unbearable limbo in which she didn't know where she stood anymore. Whether she'd just forever destroyed one of the best professional relationships she'd ever had. 

It was all her fault, of course it was.

Why did she keep doing this? It felt eerily similar to the last time she’d engaged without thinking of the consequences. It had nearly ruined someone else’s life back then, as well as her own. History was repeating itself, and she only had herself to blame. 

And now, once again, she had to live with the uncomfortable reality. She’d argue that it clearly wasn’t taking advantage from either side, in fact Lizzy would be bold enough to say they were both very much in agreement. But InGen’s legal department probably wouldn’t see it the same way. 

Admit it, girl. You fucked up. 

Dawn came, and she finally forced herself to get out of bed and pretend to be human. She should be looking forward to going out into the park again and seeing her animals, now that she wasn’t alone and it was relatively safe to do so, but she was dreading it. Unsure what she’d do when she inevitably bumped into Muldoon again.

Pretend it never happened or meet him head on? 

I don’t think I have it in me this time. 

She was in the canteen, laying low, listlessly poking at her scrambled eggs with a fork. Lizzy had cooked them herself, but they were far from her usual standard and didn't taste of anything other than disappointment. 

She heard the familiar Jeep engine outside, and the shower of gravel as it ground to a halt. Lizzy shrunk down in her chair, staring at her plate in dread. 

I’m better at breakfast.

Be the one to wake me up in the morning.

God, why did I do it?

At least the coffee was worth leaving her room for. 

It was the first thing Muldoon noticed as soon as he walked in. She hadn’t brought one over for him, like she usually did. Message received, loud and clear.

The one small act she did for him almost every day, and he hadn’t even appreciated it properly until it had stopped. That was enough to get him to talk first. Armstrong did something when she made coffee. Invoked a higher power. Witchcraft. Somehow she always got it exactly right.

This wouldn’t do at all.

“Good morning.”

“It is?” She replied dully, glancing up with red-rimmed eyes. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“You’re late for work.” He pointed out. “How are you doing?”

“Well, that’s a kick in the teeth.” She muttered. “But, if you’re genuinely asking? Annoyed. No, that’s not right. Vexed? Hm. Frustrated. Mostly at myself.” 

“Armstrong-“ Muldoon awkwardly stood in front of her. “I probably owe you an explanation.”

“No need. I thought you made it pretty clear, actually.” She felt the sting of rejection anew. It was more painful than she’d reckoned to talk about it. “You don’t owe me squat.”

“I could have handled things better.” He pulled out a chair to sit opposite her. “It all happened rather quickly.” 

“You were handling things just fine.” Lizzy gave up on her eggs, pushing her plate away before sitting back and folding her arms. “What changed?”  What exactly had changed? It was hard to explain, but what it came down to was-

“Too fast." 

She blinked, confused. ”Say again?”

Muldoon wished more than anything that Baker was around to keep him on the right track, guide him with what to say. 

”…moving too fast.”

”Well, thanks for the clarification.” Lizzy replied dryly. “And that’s…bad?”

It was, it didn’t feel right, to be suddenly rushing matters in the dark. Outside…fair enough, but in the back of a bloody Jeep?! 

Or maybe on the bonnet of his Jeep-

No, stop that. 

He wasn’t sure quite what had happened, but he’d forgotten his responsibilities. Keep her safe. And risking her career for the sake of one night together did not fall into that bracket. No matter how strongly he felt.  How he felt didn’t matter. Hadn’t mattered for a long time. 

“Don’t want one and done.” He tried to explain, despite the relentless stare from the other side of the table. “Can’t do it.”

Not with her. Everything or nothing at all. Anything else would never be enough. He was trying to voice that sentiment out loud, but he didn’t have the words. He barely had the syllables.

“It’s not right, either. We already knew that.“ Muldoon gave up. She’d have to trust him, he was doing his best. If she could still trust him. ”Does that help, at all?”

“Yes…” Then her face crumpled.

He looked at her closely. ”Are you lying to me?”

”Yes!” It all came pouring out in a high-pitched hurry. “You’ve been mad at me before and I’ve understood why. But, after, and when we were driving back-…I couldn’t read you, at all!”

Lizzy put her head in her hands and mumbled something beyond his range of hearing.

She thought he was angry with her? That’s what she was most upset about?

Muldoon reached out and gently but firmly pulled her hand away from her mouth.

”Again, please.” 

”…really thought I’d lost you.” She whispered. 

“Well, you certainly have a flair for the dramatic, Lizzy.” He kept hold of her hand, she let him.

”Are you implying I’m overreacting?” She choked out. “Because women love that.”

”To be clear, I’m not mad at you. I’ve never once been mad at you.”

”Are you sure?”

“Positive. Annoyed, maybe. Vexed? Once or twice.” Lizzy groaned when she realised what he was doing. “Frustrated…you get the idea.”

”Oh, that’s not fair.” She muttered. 

“But I’d find it very hard to live with, if you were dismissed because of something I did. Or might possibly do, if we were to, er-…” He looked uncomfortable. “-you know.”

"Suppose that’s a good point. Damn you for being so rational. I love my job.” She glanced up. “The people, eh...."

"Indeed, people are awful. Most people, at any rate." He quietly agreed. "This island would be bloody idyllic if we weren't going to be overrun by guests in a few short months.”

“So, where do we go from here?” Lizzy was already dreading the answer.

“I don’t think…we are going anywhere. You and I-" Muldoon looked resigned. "-have to carry on as before.”

“Like nothing ever happened?”

”I’m afraid so. Strictly professional.”

“But that’s not what I want.” May as well say it. 

“Nor me.” Lizzy wondered if him tracing circles on the back of her hand was conscious or otherwise. “But it’s what we have to do.”

Sobriety would be a distant memory if he was responsible for ruining her career.

“Still the funniest story I’ve ever heard.” She muttered after a few moments, breaking the tension.

“Good.” Her laugh. That ridiculous laugh that he couldn’t stop thinking about. “That’ll keep me going for a while.”

Lizzy nodded and managed a wonky smile. She felt like crying again, it seemed horribly like saying a goodbye. "We'll be okay, right?"

"I don't even want to imagine the alternative."

This is the right choice. This is the right choice. This is the right choice.

Doesn't feel right. Feels bloody awful. 

Lizzy tilted her head, pushing her body towards him, her candour returning. “Did you like it, though?” 

”Excuse me?” He had to have misheard, but the mischief in her expression was telling him otherwise.

”You heard. Did you-“

A noise from the doorway startled them both. Muldoon dropped her hand quick as a flash, Lizzy tried not to let her face fall in dismay. 

Kathy Baker was clattering into the canteen, struggling yet again with her bag, which looked even heavier than when she’d left before Christmas. 

“Found you, finally!” Kathy called and waved. "Oh, hey, you came back early! What gives?"

“Nothing.” In a role reversal, Muldoon quickly answered for them both, while Lizzy was the one who baulked.

“O-kay…jeez, answer faster.” Kathy gave up on her bag and abandoned it at the door, clumping over to their table, still in her winter boots. “Girl, before you ask, yes, I got the goods. Here, you’re welcome.”

She passed Lizzy a box of liquorice which was met with a pleased but slightly frantic ‘ooh!’. 

“Have you been crying?” Kathy asked her matter-of-factly. 

“Just allergies.” Lizzy sniffed and wiped her eyes, looking at the floor. 

“Uh-huh...” Kathy darted a quick glance at Muldoon, before drumming her recently manicured nails on the back of a chair, building up. "This is kinda perfect actually. I wanted to tell you two first out of everyone, obviously, but not over the phone. I, uh...I have some news."

The way she was avoiding eye contact with both of them, Lizzy could guess what it was. She quickly forced a smile. "You got the job?"

"Yeah, I got the job..." Kathy tried her best to look dismayed, before the grin burst through and she bounced on her tiptoes. "Guys, I got the job!"

Lizzy scrambled up to congratulate, quelling the geyser of rage, dread and panic that was bubbling up inside, feigning happiness for her friend. “What’d I tell you? You’re incredible!”

”I know, I’m kind of a big deal!” Kathy giggled, squeezing her tight. “First woman to ever hold the post in the history of the Smithsonian! I’m gonna have an office! I don’t have to work weekends anymore! I’m gonna have a life!”

“Alright for some.” Muldoon wasn’t so enthused. 

Kathy broke away from Lizzy, hands on her hips. “Go on then, let me have it.” 

"Well done. Knew you’d get it."

Lizzy shook her head. Damn man was proud as Hell, just doing his stubborn best not to show it. 

“It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be here for a while, until you can find my replacement.” Kathy pointed down at the top of Lizzy’s head and stage whispered pick her. 

“How long have I got?”

”Until August. “I can hang in there until August, right? What could go wrong before then?” Kathy laughed nervously then abruptly stopped at the alarmed look they both gave her. 

“Plenty.” Muldoon huffed.

Lizzy agreed with him. ”Best not to answer that.”

***

Kathy wasn’t the only one who brought Lizzy dessert as a souvenir on their return. 

Rico, the youngest but not least talented member the Carnivore Team was making his way towards her brandishing a Paupério tin that was far too dented and discoloured to be new. This looked promising unless, God forbid, it turned out to contain a sewing kit. Lizzy had been burned before. 

“For you!” He was calling to her as he jogged along.

Her face lit up at the sight. “That looks homemade, boy. Tell me it’s homemade.”

Rico caught up, handing her the tin. “From my mama, for you.”

“You really didn’t have to…” Lizzy tried to remain polite though she was dying to rip the lid off and tuck in. Dinner time was still achingly far away.

“Yes I did. She made me swear I wouldn’t touch any.” 

Have you been making friends, niño?

I have, at least one.

The strange Scottish lady was always nice to him, even if she was scarily forthright at times, and it had taken Rico a couple of weeks to figure out that she used certain rude words not as insults, but as terms of endearment.

“I’ve got good cigarros too if you want one, but don’t tell mama about those.” He tapped the side of his nose.

“Have you done something bad?” Lizzy asked warily. “I’m not being funny, but this is too much-“

“It’s just a thank you. You look out for me.” Rico said simply. “It was rough, at the start, but you wouldn’t let me stay in my room alone. I hated it at first, when you dragged me out all the time, but I know why you did it.”

His shoulders drooped. “When I can’t remember the word for something, you don’t make fun of me. The other guys still do, sometimes.”

Lizzy hadn’t really thought about it before. But he was around the same age as her brothers. And it was true, his English hadn’t been the best at the beginning. She knew all to well what it was like to be the outsider, not being confident to chip in when everyone else spoke a different language to you. She hadn’t wanted the youngest member of the team to feel left out or worthless.  The boy was good. Not long left school and already working for InGen? He was going places.

Rico was somewhat of a phenomenon. He was quiet and thoughtful, introverted, but he had a way with the dinosaurs that Lizzy was envious of. Even the most timid of creatures could be coaxed forward by Rico. He was just good at it. Something about how he spoke to them, how he moved, he had a calming influence. 

People had their favourite animals, and the reverse was equally true. The dinosaurs just liked him, most were comfortable being around him.

It had made other people jealous, some who weren’t as happy to just shut up and deal with it as Lizzy was. She had even considered asking Muldoon if Rico could become a handler for the infant raptor. He would be good for her, she was certain.

“It’s just banter.” She reassured. That was true enough, but one or two of the guys had a bad habit of pushing it into cruel territory. Words needed to be had. “Although Tom really is an arse. Don’t ever listen to him.”

She resisted the urge to ruffle Rico’s hair, like an unbearable aunt. He’s a grown man. He’s taller than you.

But he had such a baby face she couldn’t help but want to look after him. Maybe it was guilt. She missed her brothers by far the most out of all her siblings. It had been so long since she’d seen them.

“What would I do without you, kid?” She glanced down at the tin gratefully. “And your mother’s baking. Seriously, she could sell these.”

“You won’t ever find out.” He sidled closer, looking like he was getting ready to tell her a secret. “Listen, I want to see Africa. The Africa you and the boss talk about. See a wild elephant.”

“All these dinosaurs right here and you want to see an elephant?” She couldn’t help but smile. 

He laughed. “A wild elephant. Just promise you’ll take me along, next time you go, yes?”

”Sure. I might know somebody who could give you the tour.” Unable to resist any longer, Lizzy started breaking open the tin and she nearly teared up at how delicious the contents smelled. “Oh my God. Can you bring your mum too?”

He seemed to seriously consider it before nodding. “I’ll ask her?”

***

“Hey!" Later that day Kathy sneaked up behind her and tapped Lizzy on the shoulder. “Got a bone to pick with you.”

The old reliable Baker intuition was yelling loudly in her head, yet again. Niggling in her thoughts for several days. She couldn’t ignore it any longer. Kathy pointed a finger in accusation at her friend and cried triumphantly:

”You got laid!”

“What?!” Lizzy's eyes darted back and forth. "Shhhh!"

"You did!" Kathy gasped. "Oh my God, you did!"

”I did not!” Lizzy made a grab for her friend, trying to clamp a hand over her mouth, something, anything to stop her. “What the Hell, Kathy?”

“You’re, I dunno-“ The Team Leader wriggled free and shrugged, unconvinced. “-different?”

“Yeah, well. You’re wrong. Nothing happened at New Year.” Lizzy insisted. “Ro-uh…Muldoon and I went out for a drive, that was all.”

The at least partly true white lie that both of them had discussed and agreed on together.

“Who said anything about New Year?” Kathy raised an eyebrow.  “You…did?” Lizzy stalled helplessly. 

“I didn’t mention Muldoon, either. That’s where your mind went though, huh?”

”Er-“ Lizzy started to panic. 

”He came back early, to check you were okay, you were all alone here for a whole night and- oh, don’t give me that look! And ‘nothing happened’?” Kathy was still sceptical. “Yeah, right!”

She recalled the moment she had first suspected things may have changed between them. She peeked through the window just before she’d entered the canteen, nearly screamed in exhilaration and then saw how quickly Muldoon dropped Lizzy’s hand when he heard the door opening. Like a hot potato. Her heart had dropped just as quickly, and she caught the noise ready to burst forth from her throat in the nick of time.

Whatever had been going on, she clearly wasn’t meant to see. “Cross my heart.”

”Really? Nothing?” Kathy was still crestfallen. “You finally had the island to yourselves, and nothing at all?”

Lizzy considered how he had made her laugh harder than she had laughed in a long time, maybe even in her whole life. A moment that regardless of whatever happened between them now, she’d likely remember until the end of her days. 

Kathy was looking at her expectantly, while Lizzy’s memory was a mile or so away, in her favourite place in the park, with the stars above and the Rex rumbling away like a purring cat as the fire crackled.

”Well, not exactly nothing at all.” Lizzy’s mouth finally curved into a smile. “But if I told you, you’d probably never believe me.”

***

”Regis, why is my Jeep boxed in?”

”Uh…sorry Muldoon, I’m losing you-crrrhhhsshshhh.” The group of animal handlers all saw Ed discretely switch his radio off with a loud click. 

A couple of weeks into January, New Year a distant memory, but Lizzy’s stomach still flipped whenever she heard the park warden’s voice. Carrying on as normal was working, for the most part. But she couldn’t simply forget and move on. Feelings don’t just go away, you only adapt to get better at dealing with them over time. If you’re lucky.

Fortunately, a welcome distraction was in progress. Preparations were underway for an official event on the island. The front of the visitor centre was positively bustling. 

"Thought they weren't opening the park until the autumn?" Lizzy critically eyed the deliveries that were turning up left, right and centre. The  supply boat that morning had been sitting much lower in the water than usual.

"These are investors, idiot. They aren't guests. They need to see we’ve made good use of their money, so that they give us more!" Tom flicked her ear for emphasis, causing Lizzy to take a swipe at him, which he dodged easily. "Or we’re screwed. So Eddie’s gotta get his nose right in there."

"I don’t think they’ve ordered enough stuff.” When she turned back to look again, Lizzy could have sworn the number of boxes had somehow tripled.

”You’re doing a great job, buddy. Keep it up!” Tom yelled over to Regis, whose neck quickly turned red under his freckles.  “Don’t call me buddy!”

“Would you stop?” Lizzy elbowed him. “One of these days, he will throw something at you.”

”Hope it’s not gonna be valuable, cos it won’t have my good self to cushion the blow. He’ll miss.” His self-assurance was still grating.

”Wanna bet?” Lizzy remembered Trenton Thunder. “Baseball nut over there.”

”So Daddy played catch with him, big whoop.” Tom replied, grinding out his cigarette with his boot heel. 

“Can you guys make yourselves useful and keep an eye out for the ice sculpture arriving?” Regis trotted over to them. “I gotta go do a thing…”

”Yeah, sure. We basically get paid to stand around, anyway.” Kathy replied cheerfully.

“This event-“ Lizzy queried. “-are we invited?"

”Absolutely not.” Regis denied. “In fact, you in particular are barred, Armstrong, for obvious reasons.”

”Aw, Ed!” She feigned upset. “You know that just makes me want to go even more!”

“Ain’t gonna happen, Liz.” Regis carefully pulled a transparent plastic garment bag out of a box full of packing peanuts. It contained a very short, very red cocktail dress. “So quit asking.”

“That’s gonna clash with your hair.” Tom pointed out.

”It’s for María!” Regis snarled back at him.

“That’s not fair! Why does she get to go? You have catering staff flying over.” Lizzy was still on his case. 

Ed gave her a lopsided grin. ”Eye candy.”

”Huh?” Lizzy and Kathy said in unison, shooting each other confused glances.

“Okay, I see what happens.” Tom stepped forward. “Let me paint a picture for you, girls. You’ve got a lot of rich, lonely, powerful men in a room together, far away from their wives and mistresses, trying to prove who’s got the biggest dick. You need a little entertainment. Something pretty to look at. Grease the wheels.”

Regis clicked his fingers. “Bingo.”

“Oh, that’s disgusting. That’s disgusting.” Kathy was horrified. 

“Nobody touch anything.” Off Ed Regis went, garment bag slung over his shoulder. Presumably to find the unwilling future occupant of the dress. 

"Team Meeting, now.” Lizzy announced. 

The eight animal handlers huddled.

”I move that we do something. I want to find out where all their money's going. Because it sure as Hell isn't on the animals. Or us. Y’know, the people who actually do the work.” Lizzy's expression became stormy. "They're going to take advantage of her. And Ed's going to sit back, drink his lite beer, and watch it happen."

"In another win for human evolution, public relations manager achieves upright stance sans spinal column." Kathy muttered dryly.  “That’s cold, Kit.” Tom sounded impressed. “Attagirl, you’ll be as cynical as Liz and I by the time you leave this place.”

“Well, she has a point!” The Team Leader gestured. “We can’t leave María there alone. They’ll eat her alive.”

"So you agree?" Lizzy jumped on her chance. “I’m commandeering the situation?”

"Girl..." Kathy shook her head. "Girl, he's gonna kill you...getting involved…”

"I can handle Ed." Lizzy said confidently. 

"Ed's not the one I was talking about, sweetie.”

“We’re gonna see Liz in a dress? Looking like an actual woman?” Tom smirked at her expression full of disgust. "Hey, you gotta. It’s a formal. You’ll need something that doesn't scream 'I shovel crap for a living'." 

”Oh sure, let me just go pick one of my many ballgowns out of the wardrobe.” Lizzy gestured from her flyaway head to her mud-caked boots. "Are you blind?"

”You and María are about the same height. You wouldn’t look terrible in red, if it’s low lighting-“

”Jeez, Tom! Stop encouraging her!” Kathy moaned. “This is a terrible idea.” “As much as I hate to admit she’s right, better Liz than María.” The Texan stuck to his guns. “And you know it, Kit.” 

“That’s settled then. All in favour?” Lizzy called the vote. 

Six ayes were heard from the men before they looked to the Carnivore Leader for her choice. But she still hesitated. 

Come on, girl.

The seconds ticked by. Tom smirked confidentially at Lizzy before asking loudly:  “Kit, you wanna go grab Ed that cappuccino, or what?”

“Oh, I’m so gonna regret this.” Kathy wearily nodded. “You win.”

***

God, I'm starving. 

Lizzy had poured herself into the tiny cocktail dress meant for Maria, far more petite and less muscular than she was. The Haitian was more than happy to be relieved of her duties for the evening, kissing Lizzy on both cheeks before practically flinging the dress in the ethologist’s direction and gliding away down the corridor to do God-knew-what. Watering the plastic plants, probably.

The cheap fabric was working particularly hard underneath her arms and around the tops of her thighs. As well as doing hair and make-up, Kathy had reluctantly helped pile her into the nightmare dress and zip her up. She felt like an overstuffed sausage, and already had blisters forming from the high heels, rubbing her feet raw as she shuffled around with tiny steps.

But the place Lizzy felt most under-dressed was on her left hand.

She wished she’d had the foresight to put her engagement ring back on, which she still hadn’t found the willpower to shove in an envelope and send back to Simon. At least it would offer some protection for a few hours. Lizzy looked around the room. String quartet, ice sculpture, flowers everywhere…the opulence of it made her feel uneasy. 

She had a flashback to her apartment in the States, something Simon had divulged while complaining about a flamboyantly rich but cantankerous client as they were unpacking groceries together.  Very rich people didn’t show off how much money they had. They didn’t have to. They tended to be quietly generous and classy about it. People who acted like they were still trying to prove something, they might be well-off, but they weren’t rich rich. 

Lizzy herself had fallen for it in the beginning, but as time went on, increasingly often she began to suspect that Hammond was the latter. Everything for show. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

She caught sight of the man himself in the corner of her eye, amber-topped cane in hand, and remembered the reason she was enduring such torture in the first place. To secure better care, more money specifically for the dinosaurs. Lizzy tottered over, tugging the hem of her dress down as she approached. 

“John?”

He turned and looked at her blankly. She knew what he was thinking. You weren’t on the guest list. 

”It’s me, Lizzy.” She could forgive him a few moments hesitation, she’d probably never worn this much make-up in her life.

“Lizzy?” 

She began to get annoyed. What happened to ‘my dear old granny was a Lizzy’? Anyway, she’d always considered herself fairly memorable.

This was not a good start. 

“Doctor Armstrong? From Namibia?” She gestured helplessly, at a loss for what else she could say to jog his memory. “The ethologist.”

“It’s Mr Hammond, tonight, dear. If you don’t mind.” 

“Alright-“

“I’m fairly busy, I’m afraid. Why don’t you go and mingle? We’ll catch up later.”

“Wait, no-“ Lizzy knew well enough that there most likely wouldn’t be a later.

“Please, Miss Armstrong. Another time.” And he gently took her arm and guided her away, leaving her all alone, facing the wall as he resumed his conversation. 

Not quite sure how she had lost her hold on the situation, Lizzy vowed to try a different tactic. As she was busy scanning the rest of the venue for anyone who might be worth talking to, she didn’t notice one of the businessmen swanning over to her, until it was too late to get away. 

“Where’s Hammond been hiding this one, then?” American. Mid-West. Sweating profusely. “Forget the ice sculpture, why didn’t they just put you up on the table?”

Lizzy recoiled. “I’m a scientist.”

“Ah, she’s funny too. Not dressed like that, you aren’t.”

Lizzy really wasn’t a fan of being referred to in the third person.

”Really, she’s a PhD.” She flushed in anger. “She studies animal behaviour.”

And you’re behaving like an animal.

”Wait-“ He pointed at her face, closely scrutinising. “-I know you from somewhere-“

Not again.

In yet another event from her past that occasionally came back to haunt her, Lizzy had undertaken a couple of modelling jobs as a first-year student at NYU.

Nothing big. One or two jobs for the campus magazine, then it had kind of snowballed. She didn’t even know what some of the photographs were ultimately used for. But her face, and the rest of her, was definitely in print for something other than behavioural research. It offered a few extra dollars here and there, until Simon had asked her to stop, telling her she didn't have to worry about money now she was with him. She'd obliged, but it had been kind of fun, at the time.

It happened more than once in New York, sometimes a stranger, usually an older man, most likely on the subway would give her a funny look. She’d know exactly why, and she’d huddle closer to Simon and try not to make eye contact before they reached their stop.

New York and a tiny Costa Rican island, it seemed. Just her luck.

”No, you don’t!” She insisted and turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist and she had no choice but to turn to face him to keep herself from toppling over in her high heels. 

”How much-“

His grip hurt. Lizzy looked around in panic, searching for Ed Regis in the crowd. She didn’t want to make a scene, but if there was no other choice…Ed would help her, right?

Right?!

“Hey, back off, pal. The only one who gets to talk down to her is me.”

From somewhere close behind her came the low Southern drawl she both looked forward to and dreaded equally. The voice she hated being on the wrong side of, the one that meant trouble, had antagonised her time and time again. And she’d never been so glad to hear it defending her. 

Tom’s hulking frame cast a long shadow over both Lizzy and the strange man who was intent on getting to know her better.

“Look, here-“ The investor was bristling at the intrusion.

”Move along, now, buddy.” Tom gave him a firm pat on the shoulder, a little bit harder than was polite or necessary, but not enough to get him into trouble. “Trust me, you don’t wanna find out the price for this one. It’s measured in rounds, and I don’t mean at the bar.”

The stranger grunted unhappily and finally beat it, avoiding looking Lizzy in the eye. 

She relaxed slightly, her hands trembling. The smell of old cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave had never been so reassuring. 

“About damn time.” She tried to act breezy, but the words sounded forced. Lizzy was more shaken than she'd care to admit. She glanced down at her wrist, red finger marks already burned harshly into her skin. Shit.

”Ma’am.” Tom tipped the brim of his stetson towards her without the slightest trace of irony. He had gone all out for the occasion, wearing a bolo tie, white shirt, dress jeans with a big belt buckle and leather boots. A real-life cowboy.

Lizzy cleared her throat, trying to restore her bravado. “Didn’t know there was a fancy dress shop on the island. Where’s your tinfoil sheriff’s badge?”

“You get straight to Hell. This is my good stetson. I’ve not worn this baby since prom night.” He flicked the rim. “You realise how privileged you are, getting to see me in my good stetson, right?”

”You have more than one?” She stifled a giggle. “Didn’t know you moonlighted as a Village Person.” “You like a man in a hat.” He winked at her disarmingly, and her steel nerve buckled. 

”Piss off.” She muttered weakly. 

"There it is." Tom grinned in satisfaction. “On that note, what has your man got to say about you hitting the town, all dressed up?”

“Not my man, what are you on about…”

“Ah, I see. He still doesn’t know, huh?” He shook his head, tutting. “You are in so much shit.”

“I do what I like.” Lizzy scowled. “Although I don’t like this. Quite literally taking one for the team.”

“You scrub up pretty nice.” He gave her a sly look. “Trim your moustache, did ya?” “Ha!”

At the other end of the room, Lizzy spied Regis’ ginger head, still wearing his ever-present baseball cap (seriously, at a black tie?), jerk upright at the noise she’d just made. Lizzy quickly turned it into a cough.

“Insults aside, glad you’re here.” She meant it. "Dickhead.”

She meant that too. 

”Save it.” Tom grumbled. “I just didn’t wanna miss the look on Ed’s face when he sees you of all people gatecrashed his fancy event.”

“Keep telling yourself that, mate.” She didn't mind anymore whether he hated her or cared for her. It was a blurry line at the best of times. But she mattered to him, in some way, that much she knew and was grateful for. If he hadn’t intervened when he did…

One way or another, it would have gotten messy.

“How’s An Audience With Hammond going?” He interrupted her thoughts.

”It’s not.” She told him about how she had failed miserably at her mission. “I am very low priority on his list of people to schmooze tonight.”

Tom was eyeing up a tray of glasses making it’s way past them. “In that case, when in Rome-“

She scoffed. “Beginning to see the real reason you’re here…”

“They don’t got bourbon?” Tom grumbled at the sparse choice of red or white. “I hate wine.”

“The single malt is for much, much later this evening-“ The waiter somehow managed to look down his nose at the taller man. “-sir.”

”You’ll get what you’re given.” Lizzy took a glass of each colour and handed him the white. “It’s free.”

”How about a toast?” Tom sardonically eyed the blue InGen banner hung over the door, company slogan in italics beneath the ever-present logo. “To…Making Our Future.”

”Spare no expense!”

They clinked their glasses. 

“Hell with it. Let’s pound as much of this food as we can before they throw us out.”

”That-“ Lizzy waved over a tray of canapes. “-is the best idea you’ve had in weeks.”

***

“He was talking so fast, I couldn’t keep up, and he said Hammond personally asked him to make it happen!” Rico was hurriedly trying to explain as he stumbled into the control room after the park warden. “To show the investors.”

”That may be true.” Muldoon was barely keeping his anger in check. “But there’s a very good reason we stay away from that animal.”

”Not all of us.” Arnold added loudly as he blew smoke upwards, causing Muldoon to shoot him a venomous look. 

“I sincerely apologise, boss.” Rico continued, visibly trembling in fear. “H-how can I make this right?”

”Just stay out of the bloody way. Something like that, you really should have checked.” He dismissed him with a wave of his hand before shouting “Where’s Baker?!”

“Here, I’m here!” Kathy popped up from behind a console. “Ray called me, we’re watching her now. They weren’t kidding, she’s fast.”

Rico went mute, eyes downcast, he took the opportunity to slip out of the control room like a shadow while everyone else was bustling around. Nobody noticed. 

Muldoon moved around to look at the screen beside his colleagues. “Arnold, can you send out an alarm?”

”Manually.”

”That doesn't sound very efficient?"

“It ain't. As in, I’m going to have to go check the manual.” Arnold looked at him pointedly, cigarette dangling. “Or you can just grab a radio and alarm everyone all by yourself.”

”You’ve got to be joking.” Muldoon ground out. “There’s no system in place?”

“Looks that way.”

Meanwhile, Kathy was wringing her hands. All the procedures she’d gone over in her head. All her studying of emergency exits, muster points and evacuation routes. All her carefully constructed contingency plans and she still wasn’t ready for this.

“What are you going to do?” She hesitantly asked.

“What’s required.” Muldoon was looking for the key to the locker in his office. “Don’t interfere.”

Kathy solemnly nodded. “In that case, what do you need?”

“I need my best shot, for backup.” He grabbed his radio. ”Kennedy, come in.”

No response. 

”If anyone can see Kennedy, pass him a radio, now.”

No answer.

What a mess.  Muldoon conducted a quick head count. Only six animal handlers present. Baker-Esteves-Harris-O’Reilly-Palmer-Yamada-

Another was unaccounted for.  “Baker, where’s Armstrong?”

”Er…”

Oh, balls.

Muldoon impatiently took her by the shoulders. “Is she indoors, yes or no?”

”Yes, definitely.” No way would Lizzy be seen in that dress anywhere outside the function room. “Unless-“

His eyes narrowed. “Baker, it’s important for your lifespan that you tell me exactly where she is.”

Arnold had momentarily stopped typing, holding his breath. 

“She’s with Tom. If he smokes, she usually goes too.” Kathy confessed nervously. “I mean, they could be outside?”

***

”Nah, you’re doing it wrong. No chewing, you’ll be there forever. Down in one, like this-“ Tom was trying to show her how to handle an oyster.

Lizzy stared at the cold shell in her palm, the corners of her mouth downturned. ”Tom, it’s looking at me.”  

She’d eaten far more questionable things in her lifetime. But this was turning out to be her Everest. 

”Ah, forget it. These ones are just okay, need some tabasco.” He took the offending mollusc from her and swiftly dealt with it. “Better barbecued fresh, out on the water.”

“If you say so.” Lizzy wasn’t convinced. Sub-par oysters, she’d rather not take the chance. Yet more cracks were appearing in the InGen foundations. 

A very familiar silhouette caught her eye, making his way through the crowd to their secret corner of the room with purpose. He’d clearly spotted Tom’s stetson from the doorway. 

“Uh-oh, busted.” Lizzy whispered as Muldoon drew level with them both.

“Kennedy. With me, now.”

Lizzy tutted. He was clearly dismissing her as ‘just some girl’ Regis had flown in for the night that Tom had decided to try his luck with. It must have been the heels giving her an extra couple of inches that was throwing him off.

“Tom, I think you’ve pulled.” Lizzy nudged his arm. Muldoon did a double take at the familiar voice, only recognising who she was the second time around.

“Oh Christ, it’s you.” He frowned. “What’s happened to your face?”

“Rude.”

“Don’t like it.” He was looking her up and down in disbelief. ”And I can bloody well see what you had for dinner-“

“Stop staring at me.” Lizzy hissed through gritted teeth. “Surprise, I do in fact have a waist under the tattie cloths they pass off as uniforms.”

“Of course. Your waist is what’s drawing the eye.”

He wasn’t at all a fan of the look, but he still couldn’t drag his gaze away from her with everything…pushed up like that.

”Aw, Jesus.” Tom seemed genuinely upset. “Not cool, boss.”

”Why are you two in here, anyway, without your radios on?” Muldoon recalled the memo Regis had flashed around about keeping a certain animal handler away from the event at all costs. “No, never mind. I don’t actually care.” 

“I would love to know-“ Lizzy remarked sweetly. “-where exactly I would be keeping a radio on my person, in this thing.”

”Talking out your ass, no doubt-” Tom muttered. 

Another of the investors had broken off from the herd and started to sway his way over, bleary eyes fixated on Lizzy, and the parts of her body the dress wasn’t quite managing to cover. She could already see the words say, you look familiar forming in his head as she began to back away in fear. 

But she wasn’t alone this time. Both Kennedy and Muldoon abruptly stopped what they were doing and gave the interloper a hard stare so intimidating that he about-turned and wobbled straight back the way he’d came without uttering a single word to anyone.

Muldoon shook his head, looking like his motor was rapidly winding down. “Christ alive, I need to get out of here. I hate this sort of thing.”

Lizzy cocked her head. He doesn’t do crowds.

“So if you’re both done wasting time-“ He continued.

She quickly sobered, not averse to making a quick getaway herself. “What’s wrong?”

There was a faint rumble of thunder from outside and the overhead lights dipped and came back on with a flicker. The drone of conversation around them lulled, then resumed.

The next thing the park warden said made Lizzy’s ears ring and edges of her vision darken as the adrenaline kicked in. 

“Don’t react, either of you-“ Muldoon dropped his voice low enough that she had to crane her neck to hear him. “-but there’s an animal loose in the park.”

Son of a- Tom was already pushing past Lizzy, making his way to the exit doors, the sea of businessmen parting before him as he cleared a path.  

“Don’t react. I said don’t react.” Muldoon quickly turned to follow him. 

“Hang on-“ Lizzy caught up before he moved out of reach. “Which animal?”

Muldoon gave her a certain look while saying nothing, which told her everything.

Lizzy knew exactly which animal had broken out. 

“Oh-“ She reached for the wall to steady herself as the lights flickered off again and thunder boomed over the island. “Oh, no.”

***

Thanks for reading!

If you worked out what this chapter is leading up to I will personally send you a gift basket or something.

[vexblackheart]

undefined

STOP BULLSHITTING! Go Vegan_

Vex Blackheart

[not-close-to-straight]

“The Wager” (ThunderIron/ FrostIron)(ABO)

(I couldn’t help myself. Should I write more? Someone save me from all these words??)

**************************

“You’re bothering me.” The Omega didn’t stop writing, the scritch of the quill pen against paper a constant noise in the other-wise awkwardly silent room. 

“I’m breathing.” the Alpha replied calmly.

“Yes, well your breathing is bothering me. Stop it.” 

“What would you have me do then, Omega?” The Alpha folded massive arms across an equally massive chest. “Leave the room because my breathing bothers you?” 

“Yes.” 

“You’re forgetting that you’re in my chambers. If anyone should leave, its you.” 

“Good-bye.” the Omega scooped all the papers up off the desk and stormed away, leaving the Alpha staring after him in disbelief. 

“Oh, bra-vo brother mine.” Slow clapping from the corner, accompanied by the single snidest tone ever to be heard in this realm or the next. “Father all but hand delivers you an Omega pretty enough to make even Heimdall look twice, and you offend him with your breathing. Bra-vo.” 

“Loki.” Thor raised an eyebrow and waited for his brother to shimmer into view to his left. “How long have you been hiding there?” 

“Right about the time you were informed that your breathing was offensive.” Loki laughed at the supreme annoyance that crossed Thor’s face. “He’s got quite a sharp tongue doesn’t he? Your Omega?” 

“Sharp enough to cut myself on.” Thor grumbled. “Irritating.” 

“Yes well,” Loki poured himself a healthy amount of mead and swirled the jeweled cup thoughtfully. “Do be careful getting that horse cock of your near his lips then, hm? Wouldn’t want to get bit, would you? Would be a damn shame if your Omega had to spend his wedding night in my quarters because you made him angry.” 

“You wouldn’t dare.” Thor narrowed his eyes indignantly. “You wouldn’t dare attempt to woo my Omega to your bed. What an earth would you do with him anyway? Two Omegas together?” 

“Mmm.” Loki licked his lips and made a noise that could only be called a purr. “What could two Omega’s do together indeed?” 

“You wouldn’t dare.” Thor repeated, standing to his foot to loom over his brother. “Anthony Stark is my Omega, and if he is to touched by anyone before our wedding night, it will be myself and no one else.” 

“Shall we wager a bet, then?” Loki popped a grape into his mouth and grinned in as vexing a manner he could. “I can guarantee that your intended mate will be screaming himself hoarse in my bed long before he allows you to pin him to a bed and mount him like you do all your other conquests.” 

The Alpha growled, low and threatening and the Trickster God Omega only grinned wider and waited for the inevitable answer. 

Thor would give in. He always did. The Alpha Prince was entirely too arrogant to let his younger brother win at any wager, and especially not one that would call his manhood and Alpha-ness into question.

“Length of the wager?” Thor finally snarled and Loki smirked triumphantly. 

“Shall we say thirty days? Is that long enough to woo fair Anthony to your bed?” 

“Plenty.” the Alpha bragged. “I shall have him begging for my knot in less time than that.” 

“While your confidence is entirely charming--” Loki rolled his eyes. “lets stick with thirty days.” 

“And the prize?” 

“Is the promise of a sweet Omega in your sheets not enough?” Thor didn’t answer and Loki nodded. “Right, no of course not, not for you. If I win, I want that ridiculous cape mother had designed for you. The one with the jewels on the edge and the cuts on the side so it swirls when I walk.” 

“And if I win, I want you to serve me drink at every meal for two weeks.” Thor decided, knowing that nothing irritated his brother more than to have to cater to anyone elses needs. “Agreed.” 

“Agreed.” Loki raised his cup in a salute. “To the wooing of an Omega then, hm? I suppose mortal’s are much easier to woo than Asgardians. Simple folk aren’t they?” 

“Entirely.” Thor grunted, filling his own goblet and draining it as fast as he could. “Who gets first crack at him then?” 

“Me.” Loki said instantly. “I’m younger.” 

“But I’m older.” Thor countered. 

“But I--”

“If you two are quite finished wagering over my ass?” Tony’s voice broke into their bickering, and both the demi-gods turned a little guiltily to find their conquest standing in the door. 

“All your magic and you couldn’t divine him eavesdropping.” Thor accused in a whisper. 

“All those Alpha senses and you couldn’t smell him?” Loki hissed right back, then smile and said smoothly, “Anthony. Sweet Omega. How are you?” 

“I need some where to complete my studies?” Tony held out his papers again. “And since apparently I am not allowed out of the Royal Chambers at this time, I have to sit in here so if you would both please vacate the room?” 

“Anthony.” Thor let his voice rumble, the deep tone one that never failed to make the Asgardian Omega’s swoon. “Surely you don’t wish to sit in an empty room by yourself. What a lonely Omega you would be. You are far too pretty to be lonely” 

Thoroughly unimpressed with both the rumble, Tony stated, “I really, honestly would. You breathe like a horse that just finished a marathon, and Loki has an entirely unnerving habit of hovering over my shoulder. You expect me to know all of these rules and decorum for life as an Asgardian Prince, you need to let me study.” 

“Anthony.” Loki crooned, pushing his dark hair away from his face and letting his green eyes spark invitingly. “I would be more than happy to assist your studies. Thor has never concerned himself with this sort of thing, but I have devoted my life to the studies.” 

“You’re a Trickster God.” Tony said flatly. “I wouldn’t trust you to not magic away my supplies or something equally annoying. Vacated the room please.” 

“Um--” 

“The room please!” Tony said a little louder. “Thank you!” 

Somehow Thor and Loki ended up on the outside of the Royal Chambers, the door slamming shut firmly behind them. 

“It-- it might take me more than two weeks.” Thor admitted. 

“Yes, I’ll admit I didn’t expect Anthony to throw us out quite so quickly.” Loki frowned. “Stubborn thing.” 

“He’s an only child.” Thor retorted. “This is why siblings are best. Keeps a child from growing up petulant. I shall give Anthony at least four children. That way none are spoiled and all are pleasant.” 

“Like you, brother?’ 

“Exactly like me. Tis a good thing you and Anthony couldn’t have children. Good lord, a pack of melancholy, dark haired, smart mouthed--” 

“I CAN HEAR YOU!” The Omega yelled from behind the door. 

“Strong willed brats!” Thor continued in a whisper. “Odin forbid we have a passel of Loki’s running around this castle!” 

“Oh because a horde of Thor’s would be better?” Loki hissed. “Giant golden buffoons, trampling everything in their wake? Eating us out of house and home? Terrorizing the servants with shenanigans and pranks?” 

“My children will be darling.” Thor snapped. 

“And mine would make even the realms align to stare at their beauty.” Loki snipped. 

“Hi.” the door opened again, and the demi-gods straightened to smile politely at the mortal. “Listen, I might be mortal, but your godly version of whispering is loud even to my puny ears. I will not be having your children. You’re so big you’ll break me in half.” Tony pointed at Thor with his quill. “And as far as you--” A glance at Loki. “Well you’re gorgeous. But I won’t be having your children either. Now if you would please leave me to my studies?” 

The door slammed, and Loki sent Thor a look. “He thinks I’m gorgeous.” 

“I’m going to hang you out a window from your ankles.” Thor growled, and stomped away. 

In the room Tony stepped away from the door with a reluctant smile on his face.  

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world to have both the Alpha Thunder God and the Omega Trickster God trying to get him in their bed. 

************************

@bethy-sue @thesmollestgay @the-ice-goddess @redqueenblue @babypinkbunny @lilwitchybee @kloudbby @alice-hope @shipeveryonetogether @shadowrayven @deppfan16 @hausoffro @darkangelalex @plutoisstillsalty @thereaderandwriterwithin @thecat-theparrot-theonion @zerokrox-blog @zuretha-metal @hurricanesass @tstilcr @ulnusilmukka @kahowl-knight @oswolfpack @larissaloki @stuckony-stank @blackhearted @iona-laia @itsallyd @youarenewformetoo @megahuffledor @nerdy-ladybug @starks-avengers @tabziecat @stitchinaride @scottishaccentsareawesome @ceealaina @cwar1864 @trinidaddee @emogoddess24 @my-drowning-in-time @pidgist

[genehumphrey]

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[drflonight]

Blackheart Knights -Hell's Angel prod by Bklyn Vex (full version on #youtube & #soundcloud ) album #coningsoon

[vamprnce]

decided to revamp some of my vampire ocs (no pun intended) Pandora Blackheart (L) and Vex Cyprian (R) and they're married!! 🖤 Panda is a famous lead singer of her rock band and Vex is a commander in part of an assassin group

Pandora also have 3 daughters before she married him but they all love Vex and see him as a father figure

[vamprnce]

okay but Pandora mastering the hurdy gurdy and just fuckin do mad solos and heavy metal covers on stage

[vexblackheart]

Everything is as it should be. The injustice, the hypocrisy and the hatred. Embrace it. Use it until it shapes the perfect Universe that was meant to be born from it.

Vex Blackheart

[not-close-to-straight]

Dont Leave Me (Holmes/Watson --Ritchie-verse)

(So this isnt really anything, just a little scene I cant get out of my head. Ritchie-verse Holmes/Watson because I love RDJLaw)

(Takes place sometime between the first and second movie?? From Watsons POV because I love the old style of him narrating.)

(I just opened a text box and started writing so it doesnt have my usual editing, please ignore any weird grammar mistakes lol)

(PS– I sort of love this. Its sort of flowery and romantic and I dont usually write in this style, so you know… say nice things)

********************************

“Dont leave me.” 

The words startle me, and I glance up from my reading to cast an eye at the man sprawled in haphazard fashion across his favorite chair. 

“Holmes.” I inquire, curious, for I had assumed the man to be asleep for quite some time now. “Are you speaking to me?” 

Surely he hadnt been speaking to me, such plaintive words muttered in such a sad tone. 

Dont leave me. 

I am aware of course, more than anyone, that behind the caustic words, the razor sharp wit, and general disdain for anything society deemed appropriate– the great detective Holmes is very nearly a broken man, slave to a mind that never slows, an intellect that hungers for more and a heart that loves either not at all, or in a manner that consumes his very soul. 

But with these words– Dont leave me– he sounds as if he is begging. Begging, and yet he sounds as if he has already seen the bleak future when all this begging is for naught, and whatever he had wanted has slipped through his fingers. 

“Are you sleeping?” I try again, to keep my own thoughts from traipsing inevitably down the path that only ever ends in despair- the forbidden ideas that accompany the place of Holmes in my mind and heart and in my darkest hours, I will admit they have taken root in my very soul. 

“Holmes!” My voice is admittedly sharper this time, too much for the situation, but I must attempt to keep myself from– from yearning. From wishing that perhaps this great man cares for me in the way I care for him…

“Don’t leave me.” there they are again, these words that are so distressing in their simplicity, and Holmes sounds exhausted, he sounds washed out and pale, the usual vigor coloring his voice completely lacking, leaving things fragile and thready and in this moment– frightening in their implications. 

“She is lovely.” Holmes continues, and now a hand lifts to pat at his unruly hair, the dark curls in worse disarray than usual, evidence of the depression that has seemed to grip him in its talons these last several weeks. 

“Mary.” he clarifies when I remain silent. “She is lovely, a perfect match for you in temperament, and she brings about a softness in you that I–” a hitching breath, nearly a sob and my fingers tighten on the arm rests to the point of pain as I wait for him to continue. 

“A softness that I– that I will miss in my own life.” a silence, an eternity before he speaks again– 

– “I suppose I should be saving these confessions for your wedding, so I might raise a glass in your honor and blather on about true love, about l'amour vrai, but I have found myself unable to put pen to paper for these sentiments and it is… vexing.” 

“I see.” I answer, all the while not seeing at all, for as always, Holmes is speaking in riddles, turns of phrase that obscure his true intent, and though I should be accustomed to this after so long as colleagues and friends, after his startlingly plain–Dont leave me– I find myself frustrated with his circumlocution, and wish he would speak plainly, as he does when he is deducing, when he is peeling back the layers of a mystery until all is laid bare. 

“My dear Watson.” there is a distinct fondness in his tone now, a warmth that is present only here in our rooms, away from the watchful eyes of society. Perhaps in private moments after he has solved yet another case, when adrenaline is coursing and we are still laughing as if we are quite mad over the brilliance of one Sherlock Holmes, and the inevitable stupidity of a criminal to believe he can escape consequences for whichever heinous crime has been committed. 

It is those moments when I find myself drawn impossibly closer to him, when my errant hands drift towards his body, when my lips purse with the thought to embrace– and he calls me dear Watson as if he would be agreeable to those things I dream about in the dark–

“Dear Watson.” Holmes says again. “As always, you see but you do not observe.” 

“Holmes–” I prepare to argue, as I tend to do, but he waves me off. 

“Tell me, Doctor.” he begins again. “I shall tell you my symptoms and you may diagnose me, hm?” 

“Very well.” I sigh and put my book down. In these interminable few moments since Holmes first spoke, I have not read a single word, though my mind has traveled miles as it dissects every nuance of the sentences we have shared this evening. “Your symptoms.” I prompt and wait with studied patience for him to begin. 

“I have no appetite.” he says shortly and I refrain from commenting, for even on a good day, convincing Holmes to slow down long enough to eat in nigh impossible. 

“I want to stay in the dark.” Quieter now, and I sit up straighter in concern. “To be outside with people, the sunlight– I cannot bring myself to stomach it. I prefer it here in my rooms, shutting the world away.” 

“Continue.” I make a vague motion with my hands, but he is not looking this way, so he does not notice. 

“I find myself lonely, even in the company of others, for I am never in the company of the one I want. Or at least not in the way I long to be. Not with– not with the one I want.” The last word is emphasized, even as it is whispered and naturally I pick up on it. 

“The one you want.” I repeat, and my heart– traitorous thing– beats faster within me. “I– er–.” 

“Mary is lovely.” Holmes sits up now, pins me with that all consuming gaze, staring into my heart and soul and searching–

“She is lovely.” he says yet again, as if repetition will resolve something within him that disagrees. “And yet I think I hate her, for she has come into your life and taken your affection from me. I am not trying to suggest that your for me affection is anything other than perfectly proprietary, Doctor, but I will admit to–” 

Now his eyes shutter, and fall away, he seems to shrink in upon himself, folding further into the chair. “I will admit to hoping, to thinking perhaps you might–” he falls silent, picking at a thread on his trousers.

Then, “Please.” he is begging again, and the word brings me off my own chair, crossing the sitting room until I can kneel before him. 

“Don’t leave me.” his eyes close entirely now, and I cannot keep myself from touching him, my palms on his knees, and it seems unnatural for an innocent touch to burn so hot, but at this moment, I swear it does. 

“I wont leave you.” I wish I had lovely words in this moment, better words, flowery phrases to explain to this man, to this wondrous soul the intensity in which I want– no, need– him, but I only have these four, so I say them again. 

“I wont leave you.” 

I see just the beginnings of that beguiling smile, just a hint of what is surely a full fledged flush in that lovely skin, before his lips are on my own and we are tumbling backwards together, my head hitting the floor with a thump that is ignored in favor of bringing that tempting mouth to my own again and again. 

Holmes is lying entirely against me now, his hands in my hair and the tug and pull at the strands is the most wonderful thing I have ever felt, the novel feel of a mans strength and angles completely different than the feel of a womans curves, and I find that I enjoy it more, now that it is this man in my arms. 

“I need to bathe.” Holmes pulls away to chuckle, and I smile at the mussed hair and joy in his eyes. “But then we should continue–” he leaves the sentence unfinished and leans down to kiss me again, sliding his tongue between my lips in way that is no small hint as to what he wishes to do. 

When he presses against me hesitantly, and I feel the line of his arousal against my thigh, it is the most natural thing in the world to lift myself into him as well, and the gasp that leaves that kiss reddened mouth has me tightening my fingers on his waist, urging him down to me yet again. 

“We have time later.” he whispers, and it is nearly a question, so I nod as best I can to assure him that I want this as badly as he does, if not more so, for I am feeling rather like a man who was not aware he has been starving and now has been handed a feast.

“I wont leave you.” I promise. “Sherlock–” his breath catches when I use his given name. “Sherlock.” I say it once more if only to see him smile again. “I will be here always.” 

**********************************

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