TW: Self harm. Suicide
The horror first dawned on him when he took a sharpened rock to his wrists and still woke up when the sun next rose.
He’d had nothing left to fight for. Arceus had denied him, that child had stolen his chances, everything he’d worked and dreamed for, made a mockery of him under his own nose, and Volo had fallen.
He couldn’t even drag himself back to Cogita, the one person with the slightest chance to hear him out, couldn’t bring himself to grovel for pity from the neutral party. The idea almost stung more than the scrapes from the battle, so broken from his goals being shattered his pride barely let him think.
He’d let his pokemon go, folded into a heap in the rain at the base of the mountain, tucked away just enough that no one would see him if they wandered by.
Togekiss had refused to leave his side, even as he ignored her cries, her feathers dull as she laid beside him.
He could only spare a flash of guilt for what he was going to do to her, taking his own life. But what else was there for him? Perhaps he’d be granted a small enough mercy to finally meet Arceus in the afterlife.
The righteous anger he snarled at Arceus’ chosen bleeds from him alongside the rivets of red, the whirlwind of emotions soaking into the muddy ground as calm seeps in to take it’s place.
His head feels heavy, he tips, shivers, closes his eyes…
And wakes to Togekiss barking at a Psyduck that’s wandered too close for her comfort.
He spends the next three days in a haze, trying to process what’s going on, and comes to the conclusion this is punishment.
Three days of cold, empty shock gives way to vicious spite with the realisation.
So this is the game Arceus wants to play? To mock his failures like this? Then so be it.
He can make good on his threat. He will search for eternity if he must, but he will find all the secrets Hisui-this world-has to offer on its heartless, pitiful excuse for a god, he will face Arceus one day, and he will finally prove himself.
So he wanders. Keeps up the pretence of a simple merchant now and then. Finds he can grow hungry, he still needs food, but he can’t starve. After a while he finds he doesn’t age. He outlives Togekiss, and is all alone.
He tries again when she’s gone, at least it’s something less barbaric than a rock. The loneliness is colder than the winter he’d almost frozen to death.
He wakes up the same as last time, gives a poor stranger who’d come across his body a fright. Moves on quickly before questions start being asked.
He can scar. It’s dangerous to travel without a pokemon, but anything that would injure him badly enough to be a deterrent to anyone else suddenly feels as trivial as a papercut. He’s littered with silvery, puckered patches of skin within a few years.
He watches. He learns. The world around him grows and advances. He gets to see people and pokemon grow closer than he’d thought he’d get to see, he’s baffled by how fast technology changes, stubbornly tries to stick to tradition as much as he can.
He avoids making friends. Refuses to take another pokemon. He embraces the loneliness, starts to believe it’s what he deserves, just another part of the curse he’s under.
He never stops searching, meticulously uncovering every mystery he can. He chases tales and rumours across the world, visits regions he’d never heard of, never once stops, never once slows.
He doesn’t know what he wants in the end anymore. But he knows he will meet Arceus, even if it takes him eternity.
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A very small trip through a very mean man’s life
WOW this went on for a while!!
What started as a quick rundown of Val’s backstory quickly turned into essentially a mini-fic summarizing Val’s story (up until endgame stuff).
I’ve had a few people curious about Val’s whole dealio, so here you are!! I appreciate anyone who reads this whole thing bc MAN is it a lot lmao!!
Originally, Val is from Unova and was supposed to be the protag for Black/White and Black/White 2, kind of a mash up of the two plots and settings. Keyword being WAS supposed to be the protagonist, though, as this is a sort of alternate universe where instead of Hilda becoming the big damn hero, it’s Hilbert, leaving his childhood friend Hilda, or Val in this case, in the dust.
Val and Hilbert were absolutely inseparable through grade school, all the way up until Ethan decides to leave his hometown to try and become Unova’s next champion.
And that act ate Val alive. Because not long after Hilbert sets out on his quest to become champion, word from him quickly dwindles. It’s only years after separating that Val finds Hilbert not only having become Unova’s latest champion like he dreamed, the youngest in history in fact, but he defeated Team Plasma in the process? Gained favor and friendship with legendary dragons? Got to travel the world and meet other powerful trainers and champions? Meanwhile, after moving out to Driftveil alone in his late teens, Val was stuck barely scraping up enough rent every month. Needless to say, Val felt bitter And lonely.
And maybe he wasn’t necessarily bitter at Hilbert himself anymore. They were both like 14 when they parted, and Val at least grew enough to chalk up his initial anger to general teenage angst. But the feeling still lingered. That should’ve been HIM getting to travel with his team of super-powered best friends and meeting celebrities and sailing out to Paldea to visit the Great Crater or whatever, because boy was there suddenly some buzz around That place for some reason.
See, Val had always struggled figuring out what he wanted in life. Where he was meant to go. There wasn’t a whole lot he was good at. At least, not a whole lot HE thought he was good at.
He couldn’t really hold down a job. He pushed away a lot of potential friendships and opportunities out of some weird form of spite. He wasn’t a Bad guy. Just a big jerk.
The past year or so, he spent most of his days getting cash from unofficial (see: slightly illegal) pokemon battles in back alleys and the less tourist-y streets of Driftveil (and Nimbasa, when he had the spare cash to ride down there). He started with a modest team: a shiny Hypno named Vim (that Val now considers his ACTUAL childhood friend. lmao.) and a Drilbur he got in a trade, that he nicknamed Valor. But with time and steady practice, his team grew from two to three to five, eventually even a full six. He grew more confident taking on gyms, taking what little cash and chances he got to travel, slowly accumulating a few badges for himself over the years. Just barely six along with an attempt at the Battle Subway once (which uh. Went really badly not good when he got to the Subway Masters themselves, both in terms of the fight’s results and Val’s subsequent handling of said results).
Mind you, despite his team growing stronger and stronger, he wasn’t particularly Good at battling or strategy, wasn’t particularly good at directing a whole team all with wildly clashing personalities. But he loved his guys so much anyway, and they loved him back <3. They were practically his only sense of companionship as he neared the end of his 20’s. His own little dysfunctional family.
Still, even on his badge-collecting quest, Val wasn’t really sure Why he was doing it all. Was it to be champion too? To get the same sense of thrill in his life Hilbert probably got? He wasn’t even sure he Wanted to be champion. And Lenora kept urging him to try his hand at applying to be a gym leader. She was sure he had the capabilities with enough practice, if he only chilled out a bit. But no, gym leader didn’t feel like Enough. He certainly didn’t want to just Settle, either, he was sure of it.
All these options seemed like they were opening up to him again, and yet none of them felt right. And it was in this perpetual confusion and quiet agonizing over his direction in life that something. Else. would find him. It would appear only as an undersized Aerodactyl skull on the soft sands of a small, hidden beach outside of Driftveil. It was something that would cause a spark to creep through Val’s skin, and quietly stuff it in his bag and hurry back home.
It was something that was not meant to exist. Something that caused Palkia to labor over spacial tears ad nauseam and Dialga to have to smooth out so many ripples in time, it lost count. It was something that was not meant to exist. It was not pokemon, but close to it. It was not legend or myth, but you would not be called a fool to regard it as one. It was something that repeatedly slipped through the cracks and layers and fabric of reality and it pulled back curtains to sights near incomprehensible and it was something that was Arceus’ and only Arceus’ deepest secret that He did not even let His own children know of and it was something that was not meant to exist.
Many throughout history would falsely assume Giratina was Arceus’ polar opposite and equal, but she was merely another of His children. Powerful, certainly, but a power He could douse if ever need be. Giratina was not Arceus’ equal. That title belonged to something Val would later affectionately nickname Missing Number, due to its bizarre absence from the pokedex. Missingno, for short.
Missingno promised Val power and infamy beyond anything Val could imagine. All paths would open up before him. He could have free pick to the story he wanted to be in, free pick to be the person he wanted to be. Val kept it his little secret between himself and his new friend, who was still literally just a skull, and did not talk or move, but Val knew nonetheless this is what it promised him and spoke right into his core. And Val knew it had the capability to do everything it told him.
But Arceus knew of Val’s secret little friend as well, and fearing a world He so lovingly crafted falling into chaos, and with little power to destroy the early creation He meant to discard, Arceus was left with no other choice to deal with this intrusion. Like Val separated from his friend as a kid, he would be separated from his new friend again. Flung back in time and space, as distant but as safe as Arceus could think, Val would wake up on the sands of Hisui, greeted by a frantic, frightened professor(?) and his defensive ace Vim. He has no memory of how he ended up here, but somewhere in his core again, he knew it was Arceus that sent him here. Why, he couldn’t tell you.
Laventon would offer Val a job with the Galaxy Team after witnessing his skills in battle with Vim. And Val would ultimately reject Laventon and Cyllene’s offer to join the security corp, and subsequently, was kicked out of Jubilife Village for refusing to get a job, essentially, lol.
At the very least, a local merchant didn’t think it was Quite that fair that this weird faller isn’t even allowed to get acclimated before being thrown out into the wilds. The merchant gave him a tent and a bedroll and some food, along with a little spending money to get some proper clothes and cover up. A strange guy, claimed they were ‘investing in the future’ or whatever, but they were nice. Val’s new Cyndaquil lost to the guy’s Togepi, and Vim wasn’t happy about everyone being so wary about her, but at least they had somewhere to start, Val supposed.
Val wasn’t particularly close with Volo at first (he learned that was what they called themself, apparently). Val set up his camp not far into the Obsidian Fieldlands, but he was woefully inexperienced in ‘roughing it’. And the merchant, Volo, visited on the regular to help. He just felt it was only right! Felt like if he just left Val to die, he’d have as much blood on his hands like. Well. Let’s not continue that comparison. :)
And by all means, Volo was not fully honest with Val either, at first. He wanted the stranger to be safe, of course! But he wanted information just as much, and he figured a quiet exchange of survival tips and supplies for knowledge was a very good trade, even if Val didn’t exactly know he was involved in one. And that was the beauty of it! Val didn’t have to know!
Granted, Val spit venom and vitriol at the merchant. A lot. Val didn’t trust a soul out here, but Volo could understand. They took way worse from Cogita, they could handle Val. They kept their distance just enough to keep Val comfortable and talking. Just enough to keep themself from getting attached.
Unfortunately for the both of them, Val was feeling a lot more emotional and, frankly, vulnerable out here than he’d like to admit. Even if he didn’t trust the merchant. Even if he was sure he was being used. It was nice to have company for once. Human company.
And Val would start to seek Volo out himself, much to the merchant’s dread. But Volo had to keep up appearances, didn’t they? To keep their secret exchange going? So they would camp together and share stories over firelight. Val had a love of horror movies and stories he read on the internet, and would recount tales of faceless men in the woods and cursed photos of grinning Arcanine. And Volo was, admittedly, very intrigued. Some stories were entertainingly ridiculous, but some had them utterly enraptured. Finding themself some nights begging Val to continue his stories after abruptly announcing he was going to bed. And Val looved Volo’s tales of myth and legend, stories gathered from Hisui and regions beyond. The way their face lit up at the prospect of someone actually being interested in their little history lessons.. It was cute. Admittedly.
And the two go from distant acquaintances, to friends, to accompanying each other constantly on deliveries and trips to ruins and sharing meals and beds with each other every other night.
Val and Volo would eventually pry at each other’s fears and pains and find they both shared a feeling of being lost in their own world. And Val would maybe let spill in a heat of emotion and tears that Arceus couldn’t even be bothered to tell him why he was sent here. That Val was expected to pick up the puzzle pieces on his own in a world out to kill him, with no sense of direction or why he was being punished (and Val was sure by this point it was a punishment. What else could it be?). And Volo’s guts would churn with a mix of anger and gloom. At yet another cast aside by God itself? Disappointing, Volo thought, but not at all surprising behavior from the Parasite-in-Chief. And Volo, with his ever present shut-eyed smile, would swallow his frustrations boiling up into his mouth and promise Val that they would find out just why Val was here, and how to get him back on the path he wanted.
Eventually, in their collective quest to find answers, they would get to gathering plates. Would attempt to speak with the lake spirits. Something, anything, to cure Val’s (and Volo’s) woes. More fallers from another world would appear. This time, two children. But these children were different from Val and the older man in the mountains Volo talked about. They had a shine in their eyes and an excitement in their chests that couldn’t be hidden. These children were here with a purpose, a mission. As Volo would correctly assume, a God-given one. And his stomach would churn again and his grin would nearly falter.
And later, Val, alone, would find a small, lavender skull among the seafoam of the coastlands. And Val was sure it was meant just for him. So he would shove it in his knapsack and keep his new friend for himself. And eventually, his new friend would become his old friend. A secret, old friend Volo had never even heard of. And wasn’t that the beauty of it? Volo didn’t have to know.
And Volo would see a bizarre shift in personality with his beloved. Not a bad one, certainly. Val would suddenly be so chipper and upbeat, so excited to move Volo’s plans along.
So so eager to stay up allll night to watch him sleep, as if Volo hadn’t been sleeping with one eye open those nights. But this was Val! This was his dearest friend! He knew Val better than anyone here. Not Vim, not Irida, not Ingo. Volo knew better than anyone. This was just Val getting himself back up on his feet, just a bit overeager. He was sure. This was Val.
He was sure this was Val.
He would continue try to ignore the chill that crept up his spine every time he glimpsed Val’s wide, unbroken grin. He would continue to sleep with one eye open.
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Tl;dr: local unovan is such a massive jerk and loser, he gets preyed upon by an actual eldritch abomination. Arceus says nope. Nuh-uh. No sir. And shoots him back in time where he invents the world’s first queerplatonic relationship with a merchant that wants to kick the holy spirit’s ass. Hilarity ensues when said eldritch abomination returns to posses said merchant’s girlboytoy and torment them for a laff.
Local merchant has spoken to reporters and claimed ‘Fine, I GUESS i’ll go through a redemption arc about it.’ in response.
Bonus things i did not get to mention bc i didnt know where to put it and this thing was getting so long already include:
-How Val and Vim met.
-Val frequently scaring Volo at the start of their relationship by just. Running off in the middle of the night sometimes in a homesickness-induced panic.
-Literally everyone keeps their eyes on Vim at all times, presumably bc, in the age of much Much more dangerous pokemon, Hypno are very like. Understandably feared, alongside those that choose to train them
-Val bonding closely w Irida and letting her air her grievances w being clan leader, and her kind of joining Val and Volo on their adventures sometimes.
-Val’s insane level of guilt over meeting an amnesiac Ingo who’s nothing but nice to him after all that shit in the Battle Subway went down..
Volo eventually introducing Val (and Irida, probably) to Giratina, among other spoilery endgame story things gkdgkj.
-Missingno just straight up like. Fusing personalities with Hisui!Val to the point where its very hard to tell if Val’s a completely innocent party anymore or if Missingno has just warped his grip on reality That Much. That shit sucks Ass for Volo a lot once Val starts doing some Really fucked up shit let me tell you :). (Let alone the weird body horror missingno puts him through like GOD.)
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