#WHEN Sarah Janet?????

[pinkwhite]

"Cresseida made many sacrifices on behalf of her people", Tarquin offered gently- to me. "Do not take her caution personally " "We all made sacrifices." Rhysand said, the icy boredom now shifting into something razor-sharp.

Rhysand dismissing Cresseida's trauma in UTM is baffling to me because like what? They did nothing to you and your acting rude for no reason? And SJM too, like why is it that SJM dismisses Cresseidas trauma and make it less significant, even though she is a minor character SJM shouldn't dismiss her trauma as well.

[gwandas]

N*ssian stans acting like it’s unreasonable to expect an "I love you" in a romance novel is kinda hilarious honestly.

[skyfallscotland]

I would like to register my official guess for Violet's dad's name as "Sam". Feel free to register your own guess below between now and January 21st and we'll see if anyone gets it 💀

[theostrophywife]

skinny dipping.

masterlist (azriel x reader) author's note: this is warm, fluffy, and entirely self indulgent for all my azriel girlies out there. please enjoy. warning: a bit of smut but mostly heartwarming fluff. summary: in the midst of montesere, you talk the shadowsinger into skinny dipping with you in a lake full of starlight.

The High Lord promised that the mission to Montesere would be an easy one. 

As you trudge through the dark woods covered in grime and blood, you were beginning to think that you and Rhysand had two very different definitions of easy.

The task at hand seemed simple enough. Seduce the Prince and steal his supply of faebane. It was a pretty standard plan given your line of work as a spy in the Night Court. The only problem was that you hadn’t caught the royal’s eye — Azriel did. 

However amusing it was to watch the shadowsinger navigate his way through the male’s advances during the ball, you busied yourself with finding the faebane while Azriel distracted the prince with his charm. You were successful in your task until you and Azriel reached the castle gates where a dozen sentries blocked the only exit. It took nearly an hour to cut through the prince’s guard. 

Despite the fact that you were grossly outnumbered, you and Azriel managed to escape without a single scratch on either one of you.

After your narrow escape, you follow the shadowsinger further into the blood forest, stepping over the twisting vines of the crooked trees and watching the crimson leaves crumble underneath the heel of your boots. With your power expended from tonight’s altercation, you weren’t able to winnow out of the Continent, which meant that Azriel would have to fly you home. 

In an effort to avoid being spotted, you needed to travel to the edge of Montesere before ascending to the skies. An hour had passed since you first started walking and there seemed to be no end to the dark woods. You yawn, stopping in place to shake out your weary limbs. 

Beside you, Azriel halts underneath an oak tree as beams of moonlight bathes his handsome face with a silver glow. Not unlike your own armor, the shadowsinger’s leathers were soaked in blood and sticking to every hard plane of his toned body. Shadows twist through his dark wings and crowns him in glorious night as he turns around to face you. 

“Are you alright, angel?” Concern floods his eyes while he carefully examines you. 

You nod in return. “I’m fine. I just need a drink of water.” 

“There should be a lake up ahead.”

Azriel holds out his hand and you gladly take it, lacing your fingers with his scarred ones. You gave him a gentle squeeze to remind him that you were completely comfortable with his touch. It had taken a while for him to even allow you to hold his hand so you made it a point to remind him that you recognized the privilege of his trust. 

For some time now, you and Azriel have been teetering between friendship and something more. You’ve been in love with the shadowsinger for as long as you could remember and while you knew that Azriel reciprocated those feelings, you were also aware of his tendency to lean on the cautious side when it came to romantic relationships. You understood the hesitation that stemmed from the heartbreaking doubt that often skewed Azriel’s view of himself and you were more than willing to wait until he was ready to fully open himself up to you. 

At the moment, you were content to savor the shy gazes and stolen kisses while you two explore the evolving nature of your relationship. Slowly but surely, you worked towards showing Azriel that you were here to stay. In all your centuries of knowing him, you knew that he was the type of male that would only be convinced by actions and not words. 

Regardless, you were determined to show Azriel that you loved all of him completely. You saw every part of him - the good, the bad, the ugly, and none of it scared you. 

A small smile graces that achingly beautiful face as the two of you walk hand in hand underneath the starry sky. Just beyond a grove of ancient oak trees, the forest parts into a clearing. In the middle of the grassy knoll, a crystal clear lake shimmers amidst the dark woods. You stroll by the banks before kneeling at the shore and dipping your hand into the glittering water. Starlight trickles through your fingertips and you beam in awe at the hidden wonder. 

“It’s beautiful,” you breathe, smiling up at Azriel. “How did you find this place?” 

The shadowsinger kneels beside you and spreads his long legs over the grass. “I came across this clearing on a mission years ago. When I first saw this lake, it actually reminded me of you.”

Through the soft light emitting from the serene water, you could make out the fond smile on Azriel’s face. You lean back on your arms, tilting your head to face him. “What could I possibly have in common with a lake, Az?” you ask teasingly. 

He twines your fingers together, brushing his lips against your knuckles. “Because like you, this lake is full of starlight in a world surrounded by darkness. Even when this endless existence threatens to swallow me whole, you serve as a reminder that the light is just around the corner.” 

At his sincere words, your heart soars. Azriel was looking at you with such tenderness in his eyes as if he could see into the very depths of your soul. 

“I want you to know that I feel safe with you. You listen and you understand. You never try to push me even though I know that I can be frustrating sometimes,” he cups your cheek and you lean into his touch instinctively. “It’s still going to take some time for me to figure out why you chose to love me of all people, but I want you to know that I’ll work every day to be worthy of you.” 

Tears prick your eyes as you meet that gentle gaze. “You don’t have to work for my love, Azriel. You’ve always deserved it.” Azriel presses his forehead against yours as he holds you closer. “It might take a while, but I don’t mind reminding you every day that you’re more than worthy of me.” 

You were barely breathing as he cups your face. Azriel scans your features, searching for any sign of hesitation, but he only finds the same yearning twisting through his own heart at the sight of you. The shadowsinger beholds the plain and simple truth written all over your face. Your heart beats for Azriel and Azriel alone. 

“I love you,” he says softly. 

Those three little words, whispered by the love of your life underneath the cover of moonlight, was more than you could ever ask for. 

You smile brightly. “I love you too, Azriel.” 

“My heart, however torn and scarred it may be, is entirely and irrevocably yours, angel.”

Azriel closes the gap between you, those hazel eyes of his filling with shimmering hope as he savors the feel of you in his arms. Time slows as he brings his lips down to yours and kisses you gently. His mouth was soft and warm, tasting of mead and honey while his lips melded to yours. 

You could’ve spent an eternity kissing Azriel, letting his tongue slide over yours in languid movements while your whole body leans into his touch. Fireworks erupt all over your body as Azriel pulls you flush against him. Your fingers tangle in his hair while he trails a burning path down the hollow of your throat, nipping at the soft skin just below your ear. The soft breathy moan that escapes from your lips makes the shadowsinger grin against your neck. 

“Mine,” he declares as he leaves his mark all over your skin. 

“Yours.” The entirety of your mind, body, and soul seemed to agree with the statement. There was no doubt about it - Azriel was the only one for you. 

Despite the fact that there was barely a wisp of space between you, it still didn’t feel like enough. You craved for more of him. Tonight, you wanted all of Azriel. 

As you pull away, Azriel groans in protest at the loss of your warmth. You grin, standing upright while you tug at his hand. He watches you curiously as you unlace your boots and kick them off to the side. Your leather trousers come off next and the shadowsinger chuckles as you wriggle out of them. He steadies your waist so that you can remove them with ease. 

“What are you doing?” 

You shrug nonchalantly. “Undressing.” 

Azriel smirks. “I can see that, smartass. As much as I enjoy the view, would you care to fill me in on the plan?” 

“I’m taking a dip in the lake,” you state as you discard the knives strapped around your waist. “You’re more than welcome to join me. I promise I don’t bite, unless you ask.” 

The cheeky wink you sent his way was enough to convince Azriel. “You sound like Cassian.”

You raise an amused brow. “I’m undressing in front of you and you’re thinking of Cas?”

Azriel’s laughter strikes you like a bolt of lightning. “You’re absolutely right, angel. How terribly rude of me.” 

With a wicked grin, you tug your shirt over your head and chuck it at Azriel’s chest. “I guess you’ll just have to find a way to make it up to me, Az.”

His loaded gaze burns right through you as Azriel begins taking off his clothes. While he was busy shrugging out of his shirt, you took the opportunity to toss aside your underclothes. Suddenly, you felt extremely conscious of Azriel seeing your naked form. To settle your nerves, you wade into the lake so you could find cover underneath the water. 

The shadowsinger follows you soon after, watching as you shake out the mud and blood from your hair. In the middle of your scrubbing, he grabs your wrist and pulls you flush against him. 

Underneath the glow of the full moon, Azriel looked absolutely beautiful. His dark hair fell in soft tendrils atop his cheekbones and grazed his full, pouty lips. You can't help the smile that curves at the corner of your lips, reaching out to swipe at a splatter of blood staining the shadowsinger's sharp jaw. Azriel’s eyes flutter close at your touch. He sighs in contentment, nuzzling into your hand. 

“Hi,” you say softly.

Soft, hazel eyes appraise you tenderly. “Hi,” Azriel replies as his arm snakes around your waist. 

Brushing the hair out of your face, he tilts your chin up so he can examine you from a better angle. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” 

You flush, smiling softly. “Not tonight, no.” 

Azriel’s lips brush against your cheek. “You’re breathtaking, angel. An absolute dream.”

His fingertips trail a path down your torso, his light touch igniting the fire in your core while he traces a line through your collarbone all the way down to the curve of your hips as though he was committing your body to memory.  You clamp your fingers onto his wrist, guiding his hand up to your breast.

Azriel inhales sharply as his eyes darken with desire. With his flushed cheeks and swollen lips, he looked utterly angelic. Completing the imagery, his dark wings flare behind him while he gazes down at you.

“Are you sure?” he asks so softly as though he was half expecting you to change your mind. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my immortal life, Azriel. I want all of you tonight.”

Azriel kisses you again with more hunger and passion, pausing briefly to hike your legs around his waist. You take the opportunity to admire his solid chest and the perfectly sculpted abs that flexed underneath your touch. It was honestly criminal to look this good while covered in grime and blood. 

The shadowsinger takes his time with you, kissing and nipping at your skin and letting the desire for him build as he takes your bottom lip in between his teeth. You take turns scrubbing at each other’s skin until the both of you are clean and spotless. Starlight trickles down Azriel’s wings while he wades over to the shallow end of the lake with you latched onto his waist. With your back pressed against the smooth, pale rock behind you, Azriel pecks your cheek once more and positions you against him.

“I want to take my time with you,” he says as he brushes a dark tendril of hair behind your ear. From up close, you could make out the golden flecks smattering those warm hazel eyes. “I want to remember this night for the rest of my life.” 

You smile, pressing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I do too, Az.”

Those powerful wings unfurl behind him, covering the both of you with the red and golden hues shimmering against his back. Azriel braces himself against your entrance, slowly pushing his length into you while he carefully watches your expression to ensure that he wasn’t hurting you. He shudders at how wet and ready you are for him, dropping his head down at the crook of your neck while placing a gentle kiss on your collarbone. 

“Are you alright, baby?” 

Azriel was only halfway in, but you could already feel your walls stretching to take all of him. The pressure of his length sliding into you uncoils in your lower belly, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. As you sink down lower into him, you could barely bite back the moan from crawling up your throat. 

“Look at me, angel.” Azriel says as he cups your jaw in his hand. “Promise you’ll tell me if it gets to be too much, alright?”  

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. The sweet and gentle way he was looking at you told you that he’d stop at nothing to ensure that this experience would be nothing but pleasurable for you. This was the Azriel that you knew and loved. 

“I promise.” 

The husky moan that left his lips as your walls clench around his cock awakens a dizzying wave of pleasure to course through your body. You could tell that Azriel was trying his best to restrain himself and he attempts to anchor himself by gripping your hips so hard that you were sure the marks of his fingertips would leave bruises. 

“Can I move, baby?”

“Gods, yes.”

Azriel snaps his hips into yours and the sensation was so heavenly, it had you arching off the pale stone. The water shimmers around you as the shadowsinger makes love to you, slowly pushing and pulling in and out of you while your moans echo in the clearing. His gaze never once leaves your face, examining the cries of pleasure you were making, reveling in the sight of you naked and bare before him, while you straddle his waist in desperation.

He loved seeing you like this, needy and desperate for him, knowing that no one else ever got to witness this side of you. Azriel was well aware that it was a privilege to love and be loved by you and he made sure to worship every inch of you to convey just how special it made him feel. 

“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, latching his lips onto the sensitive spot just below your earlobe. 

Your lips part and Azriel takes the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth, tasting every inch of you while he guides your hips with his large hands. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces and the pleasure of the gentle roll of your hips onto his length had you murmuring Azriel’s name into his neck. 

“I love the way you moan my name,” Azriel says with a grin. “It’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.” 

You place a trail of kisses upon his neck, sucking lightly on his earlobe as you shamelessly moan his name again and again. “Azriel,” you drag out, tasting every syllable on your tongue as his thrusts pick up the pace. 

Just like he promised, Azriel relishes every inch of you slowly. He savors every sound, every sensation, every bit of praise that falls from your lips. 

“You are mine,” he says, fingers splayed out at the back of your neck possessively. “And I am yours.”

“Forever and always, Azriel,” you respond, lips parting in utter ecstasy as he grunts in approval. 

Dropping his forehead down to yours, the shadowsinger ruts into you, hitting the right spots at just the right angle as your nails rake over his back. The growl he unleashes sets a fire in your core. You bounce on his cock impatiently, taking all of him in and out, your walls memorizing every ridge and curve of his length while you writhe in pleasure. 

"Are you close, angel?" he breathes, barely hanging onto the sliver of restraint he had left. Azriel wanted to mark you, to have his scent seeping from every inch of your skin so that everyone would know who you belong to.

"So close, Az." You pull away, meeting his burning gaze with a satisfied smile. "I want us to come together."

Azriel growls his agreement, watching as you roll your hips into him, letting you control the tempo while you stare into each other's eyes. He moans your name sharply, head tilting back as your own walls tighten around him, signaling that your orgasm was fast approaching.

"Together," he says, dipping his forehead down to yours.

You nod and the sight of him unraveling underneath you nearly brings you to tears. Azriel was completely vulnerable, lips parted, eyes rolling back while his arousal fills you. He groans as you soak him with your own orgasm, gasping and panting while he kisses you again and again.

It’s only after the third time he makes you come when Azriel finally relents, wrapping you into his arms while the two of you lie back on the grassy knoll, fully dressed and warm as his wings shields you from the cold breeze. 

“Should we start heading home?” you ask with a yawn, resting your head on Azriel’s shoulder. 

The red and golden membrane shimmers at his back as his wings curve around you protectively. “In a second. I’m not ready for this night to end yet.” 

You smile, placing a kiss at the nape of his neck. “Thank you, Azriel.”

His brow furrow in response. “For what, angel?” 

“For showing me this place,” you start, gazing at the beautiful lake once again. “For opening up to me. For loving me. For…everything.” 

The smile that spreads across his face tug at your heartstrings. It was the most breathtaking sight you’ve ever seen. “I love you angel,” he says again as he kisses your forehead. “Forever and always.”

You nuzzle into him, feeling like the luckiest female in the realm. “I love you too, Azriel. Forever and always.”

taglist: @cherryjain17, @moony-thoughts, @sporadicfestivaldragon, @i-opened-the-chamber-of-secrets

[lifesizejosuke]

reading anne bishop literally reaches inside my chest cavity and rrrrrips the feminism out of my body. like yeah i get why sjm plagiarizes her work so much lol

[thatapologisttoyourantis]

Thought of the day:

It literally makes no sense that The Spring Court isn’t the most wealthy court in Prythian…

Not only does the court have the most to offer in trade in terms of food, it most likely develops the majority of fabrics in Prythian, not to mention herbs for medicines etc, then there’s wood exporting & possibly jewel mining. All of this most likely coming from just The Spring Court alone & then whatever overseas trade they do too…bruh The Spring Court is literally basking in riches!

This is why I’m adamant that Spring Court is the wealthiest court but is frugal with its spending, the high lords of Spring only spend when necessary.

The Spring Court is the very definition of a self sufficient court, it doesn’t really need anything from other courts & every return trade the do is really just an added luxury for them.

It also doesn’t make sense that The Night Court & Winter court are wealthy, by rights they should actually be the poorest of all the courts.

If I had to rank the courts in terms of wealth it would go like this:

1. The Spring Court

2. The Dawn Court

3. The Summer & The Autumn Court

4. The Day Court

5. The Night Court

6. The Winter Court

This is also why Sarah Janet Maas needs to spend so much more time on her world-building skills because we need more information on how the other courts operate their courts & gain their wealth

[stargirlie25]

Sarah janet mass will you please make Lucien put Elains legs over his beautiful shoulders when he is fucking her? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

it would make my entire life

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

GIVE PEACE A CHANCE - J.M

Warnings: mentions of sex, runaway children?

Pairing: pre-outbreak Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: you had never thought that finding s little girl injured in the street would lead to loving a man that you had just met.

Wordcount: 3.1k

The summer sun was sweltering as you walked down the street, shopping bags heavy in your hands as you tried to make it back to your house. The summer of 1997 was too warm for your liking and you couldn’t wait for it to cool down into the fall.

You had just moved into the Texan neighbourhood and didnt know anyone yet; your best friend who you were sharing the house with had met a few people including the new mother Janet and the Adlers who seemed like the classic gossipers. Your introverted nature was challenged here where all the neighbours seemed to be friends.

You placed your bags down at the end of your drive as you tried to reach for your keys in the pocket of your shorts, rummaging round for them and finally pulling them out when you heard a little girls cry.

Your head instantly whipped around as you looked for where the sound came from and when you spotted the little girl in the middle of the street, lying there as she clutched onto her leg, you looked around. There was nobody else coming for her and normally, you would assume that someone was going to come and get her, something in you told you to check on her.

You looked at the little girl as she jogged over. She had dark curly hair that was tied into two pigtails on either side of her head and her face was distorted with the tears. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she clutched onto her knee and that’s when you spotted the gash along her leg, it was dark with blood and dirt.

Once again you looked around to see if there was anybody looking for the girl and when nobody came at the sound of her cries, you assumed she must have been some kind of runaway and that piqued your interest. You didnt want some little girl to be stuck out here in the heat by herself.

You knelt down next to her and she looked up at you, eyes wide and mouth turned into a frown as she scooted a little bit back, “My daddy says not to talk to strangers,” she said between her sobs, her words coming out in hiccups.

There was a reassurance that she had parents and once again you looked around for them but they were nowhere to be seen and that made you even more worried for the little girl.

You smiled, trying to seem non-threatening, “I just moved onto the street, that’s my house,” you said, pointing at the small bungalow on the corner of the street where you had dumped your bags. You pulled out your key from your pocket to show the house number on and she looked over your shoulder at your house, “See, I’m not gonna hurt you,”

She sniffled, the hand that wasn’t clutching onto her leg going up to her face to wipe her face clean, “You’re the pretty girl my Uncle Tommy was talking about,” she said nonchalantly.

Your face heated up as you looked at her, you didn’t realise that anybody had noticed her and hoped that her uncle wasnt some creepy old perv, “Where is your uncle Tommy?” You asked and she shook her head before turning her head to wipe her nose on her shoulder.

“At home,” she explained between her sniffles but it seemed that your presence had calmed her down because she wasn’t sobbing anymore at the pain from her leg

When you noticed a car making its way across the road, you extended your hand to her, “Let’s get you out of the road kid,” you said and you could see the way she hesitated before taking your hand and allowing you to pull her up.

You helped her up, hand on her shoulder as you ushered her out of the road as the car sped past through the cul-de-sac and towards the exit of the street. She winced when she stepped up the curb before sitting back down on the side.

“What’s your name honey?” You asked and she looked up at you, eyes red from the crying.

“Sarah,” she said and you said your name to her and she repeated, “That’s a pretty name,”

“Thank you Sarah, your names very pretty too,” you said, the pad of your thumb brushing a tear away from her cheek and she smiled at the action.

You were still curious as to why this little girl was crying in the middle of the street and why she was out here all by herself. You looked around again and nobody was coming to get her so you began to fear the worst.

“What’s happened to your leg?” You asked and she looked down, sniffling to herself.

“I was looking for fireflies in the garden and followed them out here and I fell over,” she explained and you nodded, looking at her knee. It was just a bit of a graze that needed to be cleaned up but she must have been in pain because you could see her wincing every time she touched it.

“Does that hurt?” You asked and she nodded, her demeanour turning shy.

You pressed a kiss to your pointer finger before placing it on the wound and she grinned, “You feel any better?” You asked and she nodded, a chuckle on her lips.

You smiled at the girl and looked around again, hoping she didnt see the worried crease between your brows.

“Where do you live honey?” You asked and she pointed at the house only a few doors away from where you were sitting. It seemed like a nice home with a porch and a big bay window that pointed out to the street.

“I'll take you home yeah, your daddy’s probably worried about you,” you said and you picked her up, the little girls legs wrapping around your waist and your hadn coming under her legs, supporting her.

As you walked across the street, you could hear yelling and assumed that it was the new couple thaat had moved in. It was a typical suburban street and as you looked around, you wondered what kind of dream you were living in.

“How old are you Sarah?” You asked as you walked the distance to her house and she looked over at you, her arms wrapped around your neck.

“I’m six,” she said and you nodded.

“You’re such a big girl,” you said and her face lit up, “I’m 23,”

That’s when you heard the door slam open at Sarahs house and some man stood at the door, yelling into the house, “Damn it Tommy! You don’t leave the gate open!” He exclaimed.

He seemed stressed out, his hands running through his hair and down to his beard as he scanned the area for his daughter and when his eyes landed on you holding the little girl in your arms, his shoulders sunk as all the tension left him.

The man immediately started running towards you and you finally got a good look at him. He was an attractive man who was probably only a few years older than you who had a grey hair or two growing from his hair - probably from the stress of this runaway child of his. He had deep brown eyes and a deep crease between them from where he was furrowing his brows.

You couldn’t imagine what he was thinking as he saw some random woman holding his child in the middle of the street and you walked faster to get there.

“Sarah, there you are babygirl,” he said, holding his hands out and you seamlessly passsed her over to her father. He ignored you for a second as he doted on the little girl, his hand coming to her face to smooth out the curls on her forehead, “What were you doing out here,”

“I was looking for fireflies daddy, and I fell over,” she said and her father instantly checked her over, spotting the graze on her leg.

He tutted to himself before bringing his hand back to her face, “My brave girl, does it hurt?”

She nodded her head before turning to look at you, “But our neighbour made it better,” she said before saying your name.

Her fathers attentions turned back to you and you felt like as he looked at you, eyes narrowed, that the entire gaze of the world was on you and he was somehow looking into your soul. Your face lit up under his gaze, the warmth spreading over your cheeks as you lifted your hadn up for a wave.

He repeated your name back to you and you nodded. You could almost see the cogs turning in his mind as he tried to figure out what your intentions were so you clarified it for him, “I was putting my groceries away when I heard her crying,” you explained.

Once again, you watched some of the tension fall out of his shoulders and the crease between his brows lessen. He was about to say something when he heard someone call his name out, Joel.

“Joel! Did you find her?” The voice asked and you turned to see a man standing at the doorway of the house, one hand holding onto the doorway and the other by his side.

You assumed that this other attrctaive man was his younger brother, the uncle tommy who yous attention you allegedly had caught. Joel turned back to look at him and you saw his face contort into one of annoyance.

“Yeah, no thanks to you! Get dinner set up, we’ll be in soon,” he called out and Tommys eyes locked with yours.

“Can she stay for dinner daddy?” Sarahs voice asked innocently and you turned your attention away from the man at the door to the man standing here.

His eyes scanned you over again and you could already tell that he was an untrusting man who wasnt sure what you wanted. But as he looked at you, he couldn’t deny that you were beautiful but you seemed younger than him and at thirty, he wasnt used to having dinner with beautiful girls.

“I don’t want to intrude,” you said, taking a step back as your introverted side came out, clear and apparent.

Sarahs eyes were wide as she looked up at her father and he sighed as he looked back at you, “We have enough for one more if you want,” he said, his tone gruff and almost reluctant.

A smile tugged at the corner of your lips and you nodded, “Let me put my groceries away and uh, ill be back,” you said, your hadn reaching out hesitantly to brush a piece of hair behind the girls ears and her face lit up.

Joel watched as you rushed back to your house and he walked back into the house, looking down at Sarah, “Let’s get your knee cleaned up okay,” he said and she nodded.

He carried her into the bathroom, sitting her down on the toilet seat as he pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink. Gently, he brushed a wipe against the dirt on the graze, looking up to see the tears welling up in the girls eyes - he hated to see her cry.

He placed a colourful themed plaster on her knee before pressing a kiss to the plaster and watching as the tears left her. He wiped a tear away before helping her to her feet, taking her hand in his.

“She’s very pretty daddy,” she said as she looked up at him.

He shrugged, “I guess so,” he said as he looked away from his daughter and out of the window to see you lightly jogging back over to his house.

As soon as you had left his house, you knew that he was a special man with a very lovely little girl. You rushed into your house, fumbling again with your keys as you rushed to make it inside so that he wasn’t waiting too long.

You sprayed a bit of perfume on, trying to look nice as you brushed your hair out. You didnt want this man to think that you were a slob. to say that you were instantly attracted to the man would be true, the second you laid eyes on him you had fallen completley for him even though you didnt know what he was like.

You knew your best friend would never let you live it down if you didnt at least try to look nice and shoot your shot. You rushed back to his house, trying not to look too eager as you knocked on the door.

Sarah was the one who opened it and before her father could scold her for opening the door when she didnt know who was outside, the words were taken from his mouth. It was just a quick bit of a makeup and a nicer outfit but he thought you were stunning.

“You want to come in?” He asked and you nodded. He watched as you walked in, merrily chatting to Sarah and he cursed himself. He hadnt felt these feelings bubbling up in his chest since Sarahs mother had left him and he knew what had happened to him then.

He hadnt dated in six years, hadn’t kissed a woman since Sarahs mother and although he got plenty of action and was hit on by every single mother in the school district, he hadn’t dated anyone in a while.

He pulled out the chair for you at the table and you smiled, sitting down and thanking him. Sarah rambled on about something that she was reading and he watched as you listened intently, asking questions and stoking her joy.

As Tommy and Joel started to grab the pasta that he had made for dinner, the younger brother had a smirk on his face as he saw the way that Joel watched you.

“Ive never seen you look at a woman like that before,” He said with a teasing smile on his face.

Joel turned to him, a glare on his face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, picking up a kiddy bowl of pasta and another one for you.

He placed the bowl down on Sarahs mat and smiled at her before turning to you, “I hope you like it, you’re not allergic to anything right?” He questioned.

You blinked, thinking over what he said before shaking your head, “No, nothing, and this is lovely, thank you for inviting me,” you said, trying to hide your nervousness.

“You want wine ma’am?” Tommy asked and you looked at Joel before nodding, watching as the man poured you a glass of red.

He pursed some for Joel and himself before putting a glass of milk down for Sarah, “So, when did you move into the neighbourhood?” Joel asked you.

You finished your mouthful of food before looking at him, “A few weeks back, me and my friend just finished our gap year and I’ve got a job locally,” you explained. His eyes went wide and you could tell he was wondering how old you were and you chuckled at his reaction, “I’m twenty three,”

He nodded, a slight smile on his face as Tommy smiled ast his brothers reaction, hed ever seen him this comfortable in front og a girl he had just met before and knew that you were someone special but he could also tell that he was insecure about the slight age gap.

Once dinner was over and Sarah had said goodbye to you, you stood at the door, the evening setting sun illuminating down on you, “Thank you so much Joel, I had a really nice night,” you said, a smile on your face, “And if you ever need a babysitter, I’m just across the street,”

“I might just have to take you up on that, good night,” he said and you repeated the sentient before taking a step outside of the house.

Joel looked back at his brother who stood in the doorframe, shaking his head at his brothers inability to make a move. There was a moment where he hesitated as he looked at you start to walk away.

He had been scared ever since Sarah’s mother to fall in love but there was something about you after you’d only known each other for a few hours that he knew he could trust. He was worried about introductions a woman into Sarahs life but she had already warmed up to you so he wasnt too worried.

He called out your name and you turned back, a smile still evident on your face from the dinner “Would you like to have dinner sometime? Without Sarah?” He asked and your face lit up.

You nodded a little too enthusiastically, “I’d love to,” you said, walking back and digging around your purse for a pen before scribbling your house phone number onto his hand, “Call me sometime, or you know where i live so,”

Your voice trailed off and you leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek that made both your faces heat up in a blush before you started to walk away.

You were halfway across the street when you turned back to look at him still standing in his doorway, waiting for you to go into your house and you smiled to yourself at the situation. You could already tell that you were going to like him a lot.

I loved writing this and was thinking of doing s sequel of their date and something just because I think that'll be cute, let me know what you think :)

[soupforsoup]

Fifth tardis team dvd commentary moments that kill me (with honourary colin baker):

*the doctor walks out in a dressing gown*

Peter Davison: *chanting* sexual awakening sexual awakening sexual awakening

Sarah Sutton: sexual awakening alert

Janet Fielding: personally I'm going to sleep

.

The Doctor: "[a steam train]... I always wanted to drive one when I was a boy"

Matthew Waterhouse: DiD yOu ReAllY?? A sTeAm TrAiN?? oN gALLiFrEY???

Everyone else: *losing their shit*

.

Peter: what is that you're holding there?

Matthew: my, my belt thing! My rope belt

Peter: ohhhhh, trousers have fallen down

*Adric literally dies in an explosion*

Janet: *about pockets* nothing to put your hands in now!

Matthew: no hands either!

.

*the cyberman leader is threatening Tegan*

Peter: oh to hell with it, kill her

.

Peter: oh the waitress has just stepped in! Uh should you be sitting down, waitress?

"Waitress" Janet: they're picking on me! I haven't even started yet and you're picking on me!

.

Janet: have I just walked into the middle of two saddo middle-aged men talking about who they fancy?

Peter: yep. yep.

Colin Baker: and funnily enough, your name didn't come up

Janet: thank god I haven't had breakfast

.

Peter: we've managed to kill off Adric

Sarah: yep, we've dumped Tegan

Peter: and uh, lose Tegan at heathrow airport... Result!!

.

Colin: last time I saw you lying on the ground like that, you turned into me!

Peter: fate worse than death Colin

.

Janet: *about a piece of set with a green light coming from it* are you cooking something? Nyssa's making a pot of soup

Sarah: cabbage soup!

Janet: broccoli and stilton!

.

Janet: I think I was very mean to you on this story Matthew, I took to calling you "boom-boom waterhouse"

Matthew: what?

Peter: *wheezing the whole time*

Sarah: oh yeah, of course and the other one was, "matte-finish"

Janet: *laughing* oh yeah!

Matthew: I don't remember any of this!

.

Cyberman in the episode: *about the doctor* "the tall one with the fair hair"

Everyone: *dying*

Janet: and the highlights!

Sarah: the highlights yeah, with the expensive highlights!

Peter: *imitating the cybermen* and the blush on the cheeks

Matthew: *also imitating the cybermen* and the fake tan

.

Sarah: That’s the trouble with all this chat, I can’t listen to the programme, find out what’s going on.

Matthew: You’re not missing much.

[kookygranger]

Fairytale of Hawkins: Valentine's Special

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: The lovebirds return. Robin comes to the conclusion that you and Eddie are in fact perfect for each other when you denounce Valentine's Day and all things Hallmark romance perfect. Eddie softens your edges.

Warnings: 18+ minors dni, allusions to sex, swearing, reader and Eddie are in their late 20s/early 30s, fluff baby fluff

Word count: 2.6k

Author's note: A little look into the burgeoning relationship of towtruck!Eddie and you, a cynical city girl, post-Christmas romance.

Masterlist

Valentine's Day

“Fuck sake.”

Your colleague laughs as you swat away the paper hearts hanging in the doorway of the office lunchroom. “Why do I have to be assaulted every time I get coffee? I’m about three seconds away from tearing this shit down.”

“Yikes, somebody’s not feeling the love today.” Joel smirks over his mug, legs crossed at the lunch table and highly amused by your mood.

“I’m not feeling the love every day. Don’t see why there needs to be a stupid holiday to remind me.” You grumble as you reach for the pot of black coffee, filling your Bikini Kill mug almost to the brim.

“Trouble with the boyfriend? I thought it was going well.”

“He’s not my–“ You sigh. Joel was a work friend. One that shared stock in the workplace trauma and loved to gossip over a Manhattan at Friday drinks. And yeah you knew a lot about each other’s personal lives, but you always struggled with bringing down your professional walls and knowing when it was okay to share; to stop compartmentalising your life so much. Inherently mistrusting, even when it was unnecessary.

“It is–I just. I can still hate the holiday even when I’m…”

“In love?”

You make a face and walk back to your desk, Joel cackling behind you. He leans on your unstable cubicle wall as you sit back at your desk.

“So, prince charming not send you anything?”

“Of course not. He probably thinks it’s just as stupid as I do.”

“You didn’t talk about? Make any date plans?”

You shrug, “There’s no point in him coming all the way up here just for that. We’re both busy.”

Joel purses his lips and hums. You give him a sharp side eye and he backs off, hand up in surrender as he walks away. You roll your eyes when he walks past another cubicle and you hear the sass in his voice, “Beautiful roses Sarah! Somebody isn’t afraid to express their love.”

You let out a sharp exhale, rolling your neck to try ease the tension.

You hate that you were a little upset that he didn’t call to tell you he was thinking of you. You hate that this made-up day could make you feel like that when you had talked to him just yesterday, and your relationship was doing just fine thank you very much. Eddie called to tell you he was thinking about you all the time. Eddie sent flowers when he knew you’d had a rough day. Eddie sent you love letters full of poetry and blush-inducing accounts of what his mind wandered to all day when he was driving around town in his tow truck.

So why did it still sting when none of these things happened on the day that they happened to everyone else.

You should be secure in the knowledge that Eddie Munson didn’t need a commercialised day to show his affection towards you, like many other men in this world. Janet from accounts may have been cuddling her “lovebug” plush toy all day with a faraway look on her face but you knew for certain that she’d be grumbling at her husband Greg come tomorrow night when she was left to do the dishes after also cooking his dinner, despite working just as many hours as him.

But still –

Valentine’s Day sucks.

And you hate that the boy you are… incredibly fond of isn’t standing in front of you nodding his head in agreement as you dish out the Chinese takeout for dinner. Waiting with open arms and magic fingers to relieve the tension in your shoulders as you step through the door of your apartment.

You know you don’t have any right to think these things really. You and Eddie had only been dating since Christmas.

Maybe dating was a loose term, but you had been on dates. You were almost inseparable the week between Christmas and New Year's before you had to head home and back to the office and had been calling each other regularly since. Eddie had taken a trip to see you a few times (three, almost four due to bad weather) and you went on dates.

Good dates. Great dates. Dates that always ended with you wrapped in each other’s arms under your bed sheets. And god, you loved every moment spent with him.

Every full-bellied laugh you’d get out of each other, every glance as you walked side-by-side and soft kiss you shared in between conversations. He was always on your mind. Maybe you were even teaming on the edge of infatuation, and maybe this had a little something to do with your foul mood. The pressure of deep-seated denial of your feelings teetering from innocent to something, compounding in your head. Boy, was that headache really digging its heels in.

Robin’s chuckle cuts through the static over the line as she listens to you grumble.

“Wow, you really are the perfect girl for Eddie Munson.”

You stumble, “You think– wait what do you mean by that? Are you coming over to hear me grouch face-to-face or what? I got the strawberry cheesecake Ben & Jerry’s.”

“Actually,” you can picture her face scrunching up as she elongates the confession, “I kinda have a date.”

You squeal, “Excuse me?! Buckley you’ve been holding out on me! Why’d you let me ramble on about my misery when you have a hot date?”

“Because you hate Valentine’s Day.”

“Well yeah, but I love you. I wanna hear all about your cavity-inducing V-Day plans.”

Robin sighs a long-suffering exhale.

You decide to take your bad mood straight to bed and skip calling Eddie. It wasn’t his fault, and you certainly didn’t want to call just to vent and drag him down. You were tired. You missed him. You were worried that might be too much for you to admit over the phone.

***

Valentine’s Day had set the mood for the rest of the week; by Friday you were done. You were dragging your body up the stairs to your apartment, thinking that maybe it was time for you to go to Eddie. Go back to Hawkins if they’d have you. You couldn’t shake this missing him thing, and the fact that you hadn’t heard his voice in days wasn’t helping.

The past couple of nights your calls had gone unanswered. You weren’t worried, just sad. And you were finally coming around to the fact that it could only be fixed by one boy. God, maybe you had more in common with Janet from accounts than you thought. Both of your moods were heavily influenced by men.

When the fuck did this happen?

Your inner pity party clouds your awareness, taking no note of the sounds or smells coming from your kitchen as you push your heavy front door and kick off your uncomfortable business casual shoes as soon as you’re past the threshold.

It’s the loud clatter of a pan and hissed fuck that has you jumping out of your skin.

“Eddie?”

His head whips around, grin spreading across his face as he spots you by the door. A tea towel over his t-shirt clad shoulder and hands busy stirring things over your stove. Things that smell good.

“Hi.”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

His eyebrows raise, lips forming that stupid smirk that has you virtually already on your knees.

“I’m gonna take that as a good what the fuck and not a get the hell out what the fuck.”

You jog the last few steps and crash into him, arms wrapping around his neck. He takes some of your weight as you melt into him.

“Of course it’s a good what the fuck.” You mumble into his chest, feeling his chuckles under your cheek. When you pull back he cups your face and greets you with a deep kiss. “Do I wanna know how you got into my apartment?”

His laugh hits your face in a warm breath. “Robin lent me her key.” He goes in for another peck before he starts rubbing your cheek soothingly with his thumb, taking in your tired face.

“Pretty sure you’re safe from amateur thieving hands with those two deadbolts, sweetheart.”

“Don’t mock Munson, I’m a girl living alone in the city.”

He nods, “You’re right. Maybe I’ll install a chain too. Gotta keep my girl safe.” He places another quick peck on your lips before turning back around to mind the boiling pots of water and simmering sauces.

Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps at the thought of this man calling you his.

“What is all this anyway?”

He scratches his face, still turned away from you when he gestures to the vase full of wildflowers that you’re only just noticing, and the pink box stamped with the logo of your favourite local bakery sitting on your kitchen table.

“Robin told me you hated Valentine’s Day, which I totally agree with by the way, commercialised bullshit – but uh, I thought we could have like a not-Valentine’s Day dinner, and it gave me a good excuse to break into your apartment and see you so…”

You bite your lip, containing the grin threatening to break out on your face even though he’s still not looking at you. You wrap your arms around his middle, leaning your chin on his shoulder as he continues to work.

“So uh, how long on dinner?”

He keeps stirring, “Maybe 20 minutes. You hungry sweet girl?”

“Famished.” Your lips start to trace a line up his neck, doing that thing with his earlobe that makes him blush furiously.

“Oh. Wait, wait, wait–let me just,” he quickly turns off one of the burners and puts a lid on two of the pots, “Okay.” He spins around, beaming at you when you keen into his touch, warm hands cupping your face. “Hi.”

You return a lip biting hi before you practically pounce on each other. All the stress and inner turmoil from the week leave your body as he walks you backwards to your bed on the other side of your studio apartment.

You spend the next 23 minutes getting reacquainted under the large frosted glass windows that frame your bed, lips parting only for short gasps of air, before Eddie hops up, almost tripping in his attempt to put his underwear back on and jogging the short distance to check on dinner. You giggle at him, and you see the flushed pink return to his cheeks as he winks at you over his shoulder.

Dinner is amazing. Apparently, Steve taught Eddie the basics of cooking when they moved in together (Eddie taught Steve all about tater tots and oven food) and he experiments further when he’s got spare time, especially if he’s cooking for someone that he loves…like Dustin or Wayne.

The night ends much the same as it started after you gorge on the pastries from the bakery, which coincidentally all happen to be your favourites.

Eddie’s chocolate brown eyes are far away as he traces patterns along your jaw and bare shoulders.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask softly.

He exhales slowly through his nose, “Just thinking about how much I miss you.”

You smile at him, his eyes dart to your lips, “I’m right here.”

His eyebrows twitch in that frown you’ve learnt to adore. “I know, it’s just–“ he leans in, forehead touching yours, “I think…” you feel his frown deepen against your skin as he pauses.

“Eddie, are you okay?”

“Yeah…and no.” He leans back, head hitting the pillow beside you, his hand coming up to rub his forehead as his eyes scrunch tightly. You let him take another deep breath. You let him take the time to find the courage to spill out his next words. “I’m in love with you.” The hand that was tracing soothing circles in his bicep stops as his head rolls to look at you. “Like, I never really knew what real love felt like until we started doing whatever this is,” he gestures to your bodies curled up under your sheets, “kind of love.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” His face scrunches up again. “And I know, that’s a fucking lot when it’s only been what, a couple of months? And we don’t live in the same city and this is supposed to be fun and casual and you’re a cool city girl with your own life and friends and I drive a tow truck in a small town that thinks rock music is the devil’s music. And trust me,” he shakes his head, hand braced on his chest, “I tried not to. But you make it really fucking hard with your pretty face, and the fact that you look hot as hell in your little corporate outfits but also in my gross Slayer t-shirt, and the whole saying anything that comes to mind sassy without even trying to be thing, and the great taste in music, and the fact that you try to watch all my favourite horror movies even though they give you nightmares and you’re scared that your sleep paralysis demon or whatever you call it is gonna pay you a visit – which by the way is fucked – you know, you don’t make it easy sweetheart.”

He sounds kind of angry. The way his chest heaves after his admission and his brows stay perpetually creased would make anyone who didn’t know him concerned. But you know Eddie Munson.

“I’m in love with you too.”

“What?” His head snaps so quickly you're concerned he might’ve pulled a muscle.

“I didn’t think we were purposefully keeping things casual, I just thought ‘cause of the distance that’s what worked but…I’ve missed you a lot lately and I kind of came to the realisation this week it’s because I’ve fallen for you. Hard, by the way. You know I was gonna call the airline and sus flights to Indy after work. It’s not fair for you to keep having to drive all the way up here. Especially since you end up spending more time on the road than you do here with me.”

He's still frowning, but his eyes are as soft as a puppy’s as your confession sinks in. “Sooo…what do we do now?”

You shrug, moving closer to him as his arm snakes around your back, his hand rubbing soothingly up and down your spine. “I don’t know. But, I do think that I can swing a lot more weekends in Hawkins. Like, at least half the month.”

He beams then, frown lines smooth as his smile, “Really?”

“Yeah. Would that be okay?”

“I think I can handle it.” He places a soft kiss on your lips.

“What about Steve?”

“Fuck Steve.” Another kiss. “Wait, what do you mean?”

You laugh, “I mean, would he be okay with me staying over?”

“Of course he would. If not, I’ll kick his ass.” He shrugs.

“You think you can fight Steve?”

“Ah sweetheart, Steve has never won a fight in his goddamn life. Plus, I got street smarts. All he’s good for is swinging around that damn nail bat.”

“The what?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, smirking before distracting you with another kiss. “You love me, huh?”

You puff your cheeks up and exhale, “Apparently so.”

“You love me.” You giggle as he teases you with sweet kisses along your jaw.

“Don’t get too cocky Munson. You’ve got it bad too. You bought me flowers within the window of Valentine’s Day.”

You feel his smile against your jaw. “Yeah, I’ve got it bad. Real bad, sweet girl.”

Tagging: @storiesbyrhi hi x. And @eddieslooneymoonie, @micheledawn1975, @skrzydlak just in case.

[operafantomet]

I’m curious, what is the reason a production will give a Christine actress a blonde/different colored wig? I know smaller productions often have a blonde Christine (I think at least) but like- London for example, I thought they had a few Christine’s with a blonde wig, I assumed because the actress was a blonde but I swear there were some blonde Christine’s that also had a dark wig as well. Is there any reason for this? Or is it just random?

I the earliest days of POTO there was a will to adapt the 'Degas' wig to whoever played Christine and Meg. Whereas all three original Christines in West End followed the Sarah Brightmanesque look with big brown curls, they did feature Patti Cohenour on Broadway with a much lighter brown wig, to adapt to her colouring. It wasn't blonde, but it was a light auburn / reddish brown:

For the original Toronto production they also changed Susan Cuthberg's wig from brown to blonde during her run, making her the first blonde ALW Christine out there. This too was due to it being closer to her own colouring:

Equally, Janet Devenish started out with a very red Meg wig in West End. Later in her run it was changed to a blonder one. It's the blonde look that's stuck on Meg, but interestingly she was a redhead first!

A final example from early POTO days is that original Australian Meg, Sharon Millerchip, started out as a blonde, but it was decided that a brunette wig looked better on her. Once again to adapt to the actress' natural colourings.

But later in the 1990s the general formula stuck. Christine as a brunette, Meg as a blonde. A handful of Christines in West End was featured with auburn wig to match their own colouring, and one or two Megs got a brown wig, but they were definitely the exception rather than the rule. Especially in the US and the World Tour the Christines has worn a general dark brown wig completely unrelated to what hair colour they have in real life. This is what is generally done for the replica production, as the design indicates brown curls, but with some exceptions here and there.

With the first ever non-replica production, in Hungary 2003, their Christines partly wore their own hair, braided, with extensions in the back. This meant that a variety of colours has been seen there: Vanilla blonde, darker blonde, auburn, brunette. Here's barbara Fonyo (auburn), Renata Krassy (blonde) and Andrea Maho (brunette):

The non-replica productions that followed chose different strategies:

The 2008 Polish production emulated the 2004 movie, with curly brown wigs

The 2013 Restaged Tour did a less curly, general brown wig

The 2014 Estonian production featured their Christines with their actual hair colour (one brunette, one blonde)

The 2014 Czech production stuck fairly close to the original design, with long brown curly wigs,

The 2015 Finnish/Swedish production tried out different shades of red; first strawberry blonde, then flaming red.

The 2015 Romanian production and later Norwegian/Greek/Tour version went blonde. The Romanian production featured the actress' own hair, while the others has done wigs. But there's been different shades of blonde, different lengths and different curls. Gaston Leroux has been mentioned as inspiration.

The 2017 Serbian production also featured their Christine with their respective hair, which gave one blonde and one brunette.

Ditto for the 2019 Bulgarian production, ranging from light brown to black hair.

The 2020 Swedish production first went red for Christine. I have read they thought it was never done before and that's why they wanted to try it out (but as seen above, the Finnish/Swedish production beat them to it). When a new principal Christine was cast they gave her a blonde wig, to better match her colouring.

The 2022 Sydney Harbour production did fairly classic brown curly wigs.

The 2023 new Romanian production also feature Christine with her own hair - like the original Romanian production, and incidentally the same actress. But it looks like there's a bit of extensions going on as well.

Last, but not least, the 2023 Mediterranean production premiering in Italy did somewhere between honey blonde and auburn.

So in large, a non-brown Christine wig seems to be a way of adapting the hair to the actress - whether a wig is in use or not. In some cases it's also a way of actively differentiate the look from Maria Bjørnson's original design (as well as the iconic Mary Philbin look).

In replica production the 'wildest' things they did in the 1990s and early 2000s was auburn Christine wigs, and primarily in West End. But in the later 2000s more variations started to appear. The very light brown wigs of Janine Kitzen in Stuttgart and Robyn North in West End comes to mind, and Anne Görner's fairly redhead wig. Then Harriet Jones' first auburn red wig in West End, and them going all blonde on Emmi Christensson. Again the overall strategy seems to be to match the actress' own colours and the wig. Left: Anne Görner in Essen, and right: Emmi Christensson in West End.

In recent years there's also been a will to adapt the texture of the curls. From recent West End examples there is Lucy St Louis, Beatrice Penny-Touré, Paige Blankson and Chumisa Dornford-May with afro-textured hair. Ditto for Emilie Kouatchou on Broadway. Here's Lucy St Louis with Killian Donnelly:

And then the recent wig change for Eve Shanu-Wilson in West End, which is meant to closer reflect on her heritage. Though the Phantom historian in me also thinks it brilliantly reflects on the 1990s West End wigs, so I'm doubly happy...

So yeah. Usually the variations in wig colour and curls is due to a will to reflect on who the actress is and how she looks in real life. But the wig is of course also a tool to create a certain look for a certain role. Which means that every wig is an interpretation, and a negotiation between wanted look and the many possibilities for adaption.

[ae-neon]

Sarah Janet, do NOT piss me off

“Enjoyed that*, did you?” Chaol growled.

“Immensely.” Celaena patted Chaol’s arm as she took it in her own. “Now you must pretend that you like me, or else everything will be ruined.”

“You and the Crown Prince share the same sense of humor, it seems.”

“Perhaps he and I will become dear friends, and you will be left to rot.”

“Dorian is more inclined to associate with ladies of better breeding and beauty.” She whipped her head to look at him.

He smiled. “How vain you are.”

She glared. “I hate women like that. They’re so desperate for the attention of men that they’d willingly betray and harm members of their own sex. And we claim men cannot think with their brains! At least men are direct about it.” (🙄)

*The "that" in question being Dorian telling Celaena about her alias as a jewel thief

(after picking her up from the mine, spending a night there, spending 2 weeks on the road to the capital and having spent at least a night in the castle. He has already said her real name out loud in public, she has introduced herself to a servant and signed a letter with that name but sure...)

Then Dorian insinuates both him and Chaol are both sleeping with her/gonna sleep with her? All to slight Kaltain, instead of just telling either his mother the queen or Kaltain herself that he has no interest in her. So no, men are not direct about it.

Also Celaena earlier drops a potted plant from a balcony, aiming directly for Kaltain because Kaltain was bad mouthing her over Dorian (Celaena's captor technically) but misses, so really saying she hates Kaltain for betraying and harming members of her own sex for male attention is too ironic. Not to mention Celaena almost breaking her neck when Chaol implies Dorian is out of her league. Typical sjm MC hypocrisy

ALSO ALSO Kaltain is a lesser noble woman in a patriarch feudal society. Her life DOES depend on men. She literally has no choice in the matter

“They say that her father is as rich as a king,” Chaol said. “I suppose that’s part of why Perrington is so infatuated. She arrived here in a litter bigger than most peasant huts; it was carried here from her home. A distance of almost two hundred miles.”

“What debauchery.”

“I pity her servants.”

“I pity her father!” They chuckled, and he lifted the arm linked with hers a bit higher.

First of all, Chaol is a lord. Celaena is a princess. Both are in the favour of the prince whose dad basically owns the continent and benefits off of slave labour. Pointing out that Kaltain's father is rich is supposed to do what exactly

Second, Celaena girl...

"I pity her father🤣😭🙏💯🔥💀"

Literally I wouldn't care if Celaena hadn't tried to justify her behaviour and just said she hates Kaltain

but to try to use the mental gymnastics of liberal feminism to say Kaltain is bad because she's competing for the prince's attention (her literal job as a lady of court) while also saying men are naturally less messy? And being a messy catty bitch with your colonising male friends while you do it?

So much of this book is nonsense like this. Celaena tells us she loves clothes and dressing up and being pretty and so girly

but then swears she being stabbed by her corset and that her dress is impractical and that's why she prefers tunics and pants because it's easier to kill 37 grown men in combat that way

But then dresses in a corseted dress for the first day of the competition despite not knowing what to expect

Nothing is adding up.

To be fair, these things can coexist but in better writing they would present themselves appropriately. Here it is just thrown together one sentence after the other with no attention to the blatant contradiction

[exhaled-spirals]

« This is a book about [...] why the early part of this century was such a monstrous time to be famous and female. It’s about how the concept of privacy came undone and why that was a catastrophe for women. [...] Those of us who came of age around the millennium lived through Britney’s descent from virginal schoolgirl to public disgrace, through Paris’s sex tape, through Lindsay’s partying. We lived through Aaliyah’s death (and the peculiar coyness around her relationship with the man who publicly groomed her), through Janet’s humiliation in Nipplegate, through Amy’s destruction by the addictions she romanticized in her music. [...]

When I say we "lived through" these things, I don't mean merely that they happened while we were alive. Nor do I mean they were somehow ordeals that we, the public, had to suffer. (Whatever suffering there was, it belonged to the women this book is about.) What I mean is that the stories of these women, as told by the tabloid press and celebrity blogs, became vehicles through which we made sense of our own existence. For the public, tearing these women to pieces was both a social activity and a form of divination. In the entrails of their reputations, we hunted for clues about what a woman ought to be, and this has always been one of the functions of celebrity women. »

— Sarah Ditum, Toxic: Women, Fame, and the Tabloid 2000s

[arson-09]

Acowar Review✨✨ sjm needs to pay for my therapy✨✨

Its not as infuriating as acomaf but its still… bad.

Point 1: the court of ignorance and dumbassery

Lets cut to the chase. why the FUCK didnt feyre read Tamlin and Luciens minds at ANYPOINT while she was doin her hot girl shit of taking the spring court down??? huh sjm??? why is your fmc only powerful when convenient. So much could have been cut down. Acowar was way too long.

The whole destroying of the spring court didnt even make that much sense. Im all for a girlie getting back at the people who wronged her but feyre ended up hurting a lot of innocent people in the process. Feyre even tries to ignore the consequences of her actions. She had to invade peoples minds and manipulate people to get them to turn against tamlin and all this could have been avoided if she read his damn mind and learned he was a double agent. Lucien even hinted towards it

Part One: Princess of Carrion »

Chapter Six

None. It was either go to war with the Night Court and Hybern, or ally with Hybern, let them try to stir up trouble, and then use that alliance to our own advantage further down the road." "What do you mean," I breathed. But Lucien realized what he'd said, and hedged, "We have enemies in every court. Having Hybern's alliance will make them think twice." Liar. Trained, clever liar.

If feyre is supposed to be so smart, and she did pick up on this, why didnt she do anything? This is so frustrating.

Then once she leaves the spring court i found myself frankly not caring. Acomaf hadnt given me enough to care about the inner circle so i didnt and sjm cant make me like rhysand. which i have so many gripes but for word counts sake let me name my main ones

Point 2: Sarah Janet Maas and her shitty love interests

the ignoring rhysand sexual assault of feyre and EXCUSING it and his little habit of not telling his court things

Part Two: Cursebreaker »

Chapter Twelve

Was it going on before you even left?" I whipped my head to him, even if I could barely make out his features in the dark. "I never touched Rhysand like that until months later." "You kissed Under the Mountain." "I had as little choice in that as I did in the dancing." "And yet this is the male you now love." He didn't know-he had no inkling of the personal history, the secrets, that had opened my heart to the High Lord of the Night Court. They were not my stories to tell

here we have sjm acknowledging that yeah, rhysand Sexually Assaulted Feyre UtM in Acotar. Without her consent he dressed her inappropriately (which she was uncomfortable with) had her dance provocatively in his lap, kissed her, and made her drink alcohol so she wouldn't remember the details all without her consent. Yet Sjm is going “its fine” now and feyre herself going “you just dont get it…” ⁉️⁉️⁉️

Now see if sjm actually planned for rhysand to become the love interest why didnt she just avoid all this by having Amarantha make rhysand do this to feyre? Because that would have solved some issues but no. Because Rhysand did all this of his own free will in acotar. He actively chose to do this to feyre. To humiliate her and anger Tamlin because rhysand is obsessed with Tamlin.

Rhysand also loves to not tell his own court things. I was and still am very angry over him not telling Mor, Azriel, Cassien and at the very least his Wife about his plan with the court of nightmares. Just why.

Mors anger towards Nesta also makes no sense. sjm stop writing girl on girl hate challenge impossible

Point three: That one toy story scene “I dont wanna play with you anymore!”

Now tamlin. Tamlin tamlin tamlin im so sorry love for what sjm has done to you. If i start ill never stop. What Tamlin said to feyre and rhysand at the high lords meeting was out of pocket but he also wasnt wrong about some things. Also from established character these actions make no sense and his actions havent made sense since acomaf because sjm threw him and his character away to play with shadow daddy and bad morals. But she also cant commit to making a character of hers actually evil so tamlin saves the whole day by bringing the autumn court to fight and saving rhysand life. Tamlin has redeemed himself by sjm standards but she then wrote the holiday novel which i have read and detested.

Overall the plot was fine. i guess. it probably looked better when compared to the characters.

Sjm learn to redeem characters outside of “ooh they were abused and have trauma so everything they do is okay” for guys and “she fell in love/had sex with the most PERFECT MALE TO EVER MASCULINE.” its boring and flat. Also i know what happens in Acosf (i will not be reading that ty) so wtf happened to Nesta bro. she got the tamlin treatment. boooo 👎

to end off heres some of my favorite highlights from acowar 50%+ thru the book.

[theshadowsingersraven]

I think one of the things I'm most looking forward to is seeing how Lucien will push Elain’s buttons and rile her up. I think that newfound boldness Elain has will flourish once she settles her own internal conflict(s) with the mate bond that makes her so distant with Lucien.

I think what will be the catalyst for that is if Lucien begins attempting to "move on" from Elain or he goes to Rita's with the IC and Elain hears all about the females that were flirting with him the next morning. And IMAGINE the drama and jealousy and simultaneous guilt, confusion, desire and angst Elain will feel? I'm picturing it like:

She doesn't want a mate, she wanted her human fiancé and Azriel was a comfortable place for her to land for a little bit but what fucking fae witch has the nerve to try and flirt with Lucien?

He's not Elain's--she hasn't claimed him or made a move, but he's even less so some random female's male! Lucien is hers but not hers, and Azriel is somehow even less loosely defined, but he's "safe" and close by. And yet does she have the "right" to move on from Graysen yet, anyhow? How long is long enough to grieve an engagement? Does she have any right to be upset when someone else wants Lucien? How does she know what feelings the bond influences versus what she organically feels?

But imagine when Lucien realizes she's jealous and is somehow excited but irritated because what the fuck? How is it far that she seemingly doesn't want him but he can't be with anyone else?

I'm picturing full Kanthony Bridgerton style polite "insults" back and forth that just add on layers and layers of sexual tension and drama.

And I need it yesterday, Sarah Janet Maas!

[ennawrite]

currently echo-signaling to Sarah Janet Maas so she’ll give us a Tamlin centered book where it’s ACTUALLY Beauty & the Beast but like it doesn’t end with Beauty becoming the Beast of the Night Court and we actually get a Tamlim healing journey/love story. AND MORE OF THE SPRING COURT!!! I wanna go home 😭

I’m sorry but nobody can make me hate him, especially not when the guy we’re supposed to be rooting for is doing the same shit Tamlin gets ridiculed for.