#WHY does tumblr sometimes fuck up the resolution it’s fine half the time when I look at this post and then blurry as fuck the other half

[harleybarbarahandler]

i am LaRoyposting once again

[sushigirlali]

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Epilogue 

Summary: Grifter!Rey helps U.S. Senator Leia Organa's son, Ben Solo, out of a jam when a couple of muggers invade her turf. Afterward, she debates robbing the rich American herself, but can she protect her heart while stealing his?

Pairing: Rey + Ben Solo | Finn + Poe Dameron

Rating: E

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: For the first time ever, I’ve actually written most of the story before I started posting! I think it will be way less stressful since I don’t have to “keep up” with updates. New chapters will be posted each Friday. Enjoy!

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

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If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I

By: sushigirlali

——————

Kennington, London

——————

There are moments in life that make you question everything that came before. A look from a stranger, an incident at your job, a terrible movie... things Rey Niima was usually able to push past without pause, but tonight, she was finding it extremely difficult to ignore the feeling that her life was about to change forever.

"Hey, give us your wallet!" A pair of brawlers had cornered a man at the mouth of a nearby alley, drawing Rey's attention as soon as she stepped out the back door of her favorite pub, The Black Prince.

"Excuse me?" the would-be victim responded indignantly. His voice was deep with an American lilt, his stature intimidating.

Did these fools really think they could steal from a man like that? But then, not all criminals were as intelligent as her.

"You heard me! I want your wallet!"

Rey hung back from the potentially violent situation unfolding before her, sizing up the assailants. Their outfits were all black, including the ski masks covering their faces, but she couldn't see any identifying marks or gang affiliations. "Must be lone wolves," she thought.

There was something familiar about the tall one doing the talking, but she couldn't place them. It probably didn't matter, though, because the redwood with the nice accent looked like he could take the both of them with one hand tied behind his broad back.

Still, for some reason, she was finding it hard to walk the other way. Definitely not because the man was the most striking person she had ever seen. No, it had to be due to the fact that these bums were causing a ruckus on her turf. At least, that's what she kept telling herself, frozen to the spot as she was.

"Listen, I just got done volunteering at a shelter all day and just want to get home. Please allow me to leave unmolested."

"Volunteering at a shelter?" she muttered under her breath. "Well, fuck. But it's not your business, don't get involved." Rey was turning around to go back inside the pub when the sound of a gun cocking drew her up short.

"Don't make me repeat myself again, pretty boy."

"Whoa, hey, there's no need for that!"

"Then empty your pockets! Now!"

"No," he said crossly. "Put that thing away before somebody gets hurt."

"Dammit," Rey groaned, retrieving the silver baton clipped to her belt. Sometimes, she really hated having a conscience; in her line of work, it was a real liability.

"Hey, get your hands off me!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she growled, resolutely stalking toward the turbulent scene. "Oi! You lot!"

The big guy and his sidekick paused to look in her direction. "What?" the leader said in a surprisingly feminine voice.

"Not a guy," Rey mused. "Based on your absolutely abominable bullying technique, I don't think you're getting that guy's wallet any time this century, so why don't you just leave him alone and move along."

"Excuse me?" the woman said threateningly.

"I'm sorry, did I stutter?"

"You move along, little mouse, this doesn't concern you!" the shorter guy spat.

"You do know who's neighborhood this is, don't you?" Rey said tauntingly.

"Yeah?" the first one said dismissively. "So what."

"So, knock it off! We don't need the fuzz coming down here because some hooligans are roughing up a foreigner."

"Hooligans?! And who the fuck are you?"

"Me?" Rey sneered, flicking the baton out to the side so that it extended into a long poll. "I'm no one."

"Phas," the skinny guy said nervously, obviously recognizing her at last, "we should go."

Rey had never been so proud of her reputation as a grifter who was just as likely to steal an expensive piece of art from the peerage in an elaborate heist as kick a thug's ass in the street.

"But the boss—"

"He'll understand."

"But—"

"Phas!"

"Fine. But don't think this is over!" the woman yelled before running off with her companion.

"Well," the American said slowly, "that was an experience I never wish to repeat again." He smiled at her. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Rey replied gruffly, still riding high on adrenaline. "Do you always walk around by yourself at night in a city not your own?"

"Do you always save unsuspecting passersby from thieves?" he retorted.

Her phone went off, but she didn't answer it. Up close, the man was even more attractive than she had initially thought. "Suit looks expensive, too… and is that a Breitling?" Perhaps it was her lucky night after all. "Only if they're handsome," she said smoothly.

"Oh, uh…" he flushed at her compliment.

"Hmm… not the reaction I expected." It was kind of refreshing, though. "Sorry, I—ugh, one sec," she said as her cell went off again. "My brother," she explained, checking the caller ID. "I have to take this or he'll just keep phoning until I pick up."

The man shrugged, "No problem, I'll just wait over here." He stepped up onto the curb and walked a few paces away.

Rey nodded and lifted the phone to her ear. "What?" she said shortly.

"Who's the stiff?" Finn asked without preamble.

"Nobody."

"Right," he huffed. "Are you working him?"

"Undecided, stop pushing."

"Whatever you say, Rey. Just be careful."

"I will. Where are you anyway?" she said, humored by his tough older sibling act.

"Hanging outside the pub, just around the corner. Why? You need me?" Finn teased.

"No, I'll catch you later. Don't wait up." She ended the conversation before he could respond and stuffed the phone into her back pocket. "Sorry about that, uh…?"

"Ben," the stranger supplied, moving closer again. "Ben Solo."

"I'm Rey," she said, holding out a hand.

Ben's lips quirked and he gave her a firm handshake, his huge hand dwarfing hers. Rey felt a shiver run up her spine at the brief contact, but she shook it off.

"So, what's that for?" he indicated the weapon still in her hand. "Joining the circus?"

"No," she grinned, "it's a bo staff. I use it for self defense."

"And the defense of others," he said warmly.

"On occasion." She folded the bo staff back into a baton before reattaching it to her belt.

"Can I get you a drink?" he nodded toward the pub. "To say thank you?"

"I was actually on my way home before I… bumped into you."

"I could… walk you home? If you want." He didn't sound desperate, but it was a near thing.

"I'm not from around here," she said evasively. She couldn't really bring him back to her base of operations, which was only a few blocks down the street, but she didn't want to stop talking to him either. "What a dilemma."

"No? Where are you from then?"

"Nowhere."

"Okay… Well, I promise I'm not a pervert or a serial killer or anything," he said earnestly, "so you can come back to my hotel with me if you want. It's late and I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

She crossed her arms. "Because I'm a woman?"

"Hey, I'm 6'3" and double your weight and I almost got jumped like ten minutes ago," he reminded her. "It can happen to anyone."

"Fair enough," she allowed, lowering her defenses. "Still…"

"I can call my security detail if you want verification that I'm not a psycho," he offered. "I'd just like the opportunity to get to know the woman who saved my hide."

Rey's interest sharpened. "That's sweet, but uh… security detail?"

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly. "My mother is a U.S. Senator. I'm in town on her behalf. She was supposed to come herself, but her re-election campaign is heating up and she couldn't spare the time."

"You disapprove," she said perceptively.

Ben's dark brows shot up. "Yeah, actually. You a mind reader, Rey from nowhere?"

"Something like that," she smirked. "I prefer the term grifter."

"Grifter?" he said curiously. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"Oh, you know," Rey winked for effect, assuming the privileged American was about to run in the opposite direction, "I swindle rich people out of their valuables by preying on their weaknesses. Basically, I'm a professional bad guy."

Ben looked hopelessly confused by her explanation. "But you just helped me."

"Well, sometimes I like to help out the little guy." Rey looked him over. "Little big guys too."

"Like Robin Hood?" he said, disarming her with a crooked smile.

"What? I wouldn't say I'm—I'm a hero or anything," she stuttered.

"Well, you're my hero," he said smoothly, holding out a hand. "That's my driver pulling up over there, in the black Jag. Join me? Please?"

"I… okay," she agreed, placing her hand in his, "but just for a little while." This time, she couldn't ignore the shiver.

——————

Alarm bells should be going off in her head, but Rey felt perfectly comfortable with her new companion. It was odd, considering her trust issues, but Ben didn't seem to be only interested in her looks. And she knew she looked good tonight, her dark leather leggings were basically painted on and her lacy bra was visible through a mostly sheer black tank top. Add on her subtle smoky makeup and half-up hair style that emphasized her cheek bones and...

"Rey?"

She loved the way he said her name, almost like a caress. "Yes?"

"Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet."

"Oh, sure," she said, never one to give up a free meal. Though she did kinda wish something else was on the menu… "What is wrong with you? You just met the man! Note to self: masturbate more."

"Chinese okay?"

Her mouth watered. "Perfect."

"What do you like?"

"Besides you?" she said without thinking. "Uh, I mean—anything, really. Noodles, if they have them."

Ben let her comment pass, but he was beaming. "I like noodles too. Maybe some kind of chicken? Orange?"

"Excellent," she seconded.

"You're easy," he said, but then caught himself, looking horrified. "I mean to order food for, not—"

"It's okay," she laughed, patting his thigh. "I know what you meant."

"Sorry, I haven't done this in a long time," he said sheepishly, catching her hand before she could remove it.

"This?"

"Gone on a date."

"Oh." Was this a date? Rey couldn't remember the last time she had been on one. Pretty much anytime she'd been alone with a man not her brother in the past ten years it was because she intended to rob them.

"Not that this has to be a date," he said quickly, releasing her hand. "Sorry, I keep saying stupid things."

Dammit, but he was cute. "You don't have to keep apologizing," she replied lightly. "Let's just have dinner and talk and see where that takes us." Maybe the night would lead to some fun extracurricular activities, maybe not, but at least she'd be able to case his place. Based on what she knew so far, the guy definitely came from old money. "Just keep reminding yourself that he's potentially a mark, not a boyfriend, Rey."

"Sure," he smiled, looking relieved. "Hey, Poe?" he said to the driver. "Can you pick up some food after dropping us at the hotel? We're starving."

——————

Ben fumbled a little opening the door, but quickly recovered and ushered Rey inside with a gallant sweep of his arm. The hotel was nice, but not extravagant, something she found odd for the son of a U.S. Senator. Then again, he had apparently been helping out at a shelter all day, so maybe he really was as down to earth as he seemed.

"The bathroom is through there if you need it," he pointed toward the bedroom.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Okay, I'm just going to grab a quick shower. Poe should be back within the hour, so make yourself at home."

"Can I join you?" she was tempted to say. "Sure, I'll just watch the telly."

Ben nodded and left the room. A few seconds later, Rey heard the water start. Flipping on the TV, she left it on the cartoon channel before having a look around.

There weren't any expensive electronics or pieces of art in plain sight, so Rey could only assume that anything valuable would be in his room. "Oh, well, nothing gained, nothing lost. Better update Finn, though."

Yanking her cell out, Rey sent a quick text to her brother with Ben's name, the hotel's address, and a couple sentences about the modest state of his living room. He answered her almost immediately, sounding concerned.

Finn: Are you sure about this bloke? If you're not there to rob him, I assume that means you're interested in something else?

Rey: Yes? Maybe? I don't know. We just met, but…

Finn: At least text me later, okay? So I don't have to worry

Rey: I will. Love you 3

Finn: Love you too, peanut

Finn: ...check the room safe if you get a chance. Those types of hotels always have them and you never know what might be inside ;)

Rolling her eyes, but knowing he was right, Rey listened for a moment. It sounded like Ben was still in the shower, so she took the opportunity to pop into the bedroom and search his closet. A standard issue hotel safe was at the back, surrounded by some very nice black suits.

It wouldn't have been hard to crack the safe if she had her gear, but her heart wouldn't have been in it even if she did. She didn't want to rob Ben Solo, which was a first. Still, she did appreciate a challenge...

"Did you need something?"

Rey whipped around to see her host in nothing but a low slung white towel. "No, I—uh…"

"Would you like something to change into?" he inquired kindly.

Unable to respond with his magnificent chest and long thighs on display, Rey just shook her head in the negative. His brow creased and she felt like a kid who had been caught snooping for Christmas presents. "Shit, shit, shit, I've totally blown it!" Backtracking to the living room, she wasn't surprised when he followed. "What should I do? Oh, god, I don't want him to think…"

"Rey, what you said earlier… about being a… what did you call it? A grifter? Are you—mmph!" he started, unable to complete his thought as Rey impulsively reached up to kiss him.

But instead of pushing her away and demanding an answer, Ben threaded his fingers through her hair and dragged her closer. Taking his response as permission, Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, gripping his bare back as the kiss went on and on.

Somehow, they ended up next to the couch. Rey pushed Ben into a sitting position and climbed onto his lap, rubbing her clothed core against the tent in his towel. "Rey," he whispered, lips trailing down to her neck, "Rey, I want you."

"Yes," she responded as he reached for her waistband. Coming up on her knees, she growled when he yanked her leggings and underwear down her hips with one forceful tug. Things were getting out of control, going too far too fast, but she didn't care; she wanted him too. "Help me," she demanded, legs trapped by the constricting garments.

"I've got you," he huffed, reaching behind her to unzip her black combat boots and pull her pants the rest of the way off.

Meanwhile, Rey tore her top and bralette over her head before going to work on the towel barely covering his lap. "Wow!" she blew out a breath, zeroing in on his ardent erection when it was uncovered. He was big, maybe bigger than anyone she'd ever been with. Would he fit?

"Fuck," Ben sighed, sitting back to stare at her body, "you're beautiful, Rey."

Feeling weirdly shy about the sincerity in his sinful voice, Rey kissed him again in lieu of a response, reaching between them to spread herself for entry.

"Wait," he said, gasping for air, "what about protection?"

"Implant," she mumbled, rubbing her slit against the tip of his penis. "I'm clean, are you?"

"Yeah, I haven't—oh, god—uh, done it in a while."

"Good." She felt strangely possessive of him, this man she had just met. It pleased her that he didn't sleep around. "Fuck me, then. Raw."

Ben slammed his mouth down on hers again, positioning his dick with one hand and gripping her left buttock with the other. But he didn't ram himself home, instead he teased her hole, sliding only a fraction of the way in before retreating. He did it over and over, mimicking the action with his tongue until she was incoherent with desire, squirming, imploring him to fill her…

And then he was, and she found that he fit very well inside her indeed. His thick cock seemed to be made for her, hitting all the right spots and ones she hadn't even known existed until now. "Ben!" she cried, furiously pumping her hips in time with his thrusts. "This is—you're—"

"I feel it too!" he returned, palming her breast and teasing her erect nipple. "From the first moment I saw you, I—"

She licked his mouth, begging for entrance, not wanting to hear his sweet words even as they made her heart soar. He opened for her, but was obviously frustrated that she had cut off his declaration. Before she knew it, the hand squeezing her ass drew back and lightly smacked against her butt-cheek.

"Oh!" Rey jolted at the slight sting, but it wasn't in pain. On the contrary, she requested, "Again! Ben, do that again, please! I'm—"

Knock, knock.

"Oh, shit, Poe's at the—"

"Don't you fucking dare, Ben Solo," she growled, bouncing up and down on him with renewed vigor. But the driver started knocking harder, likely because of the guttural sounds erupting from Ben's throat. "Come on, man, can't you tell we're busy?!"

"But—shit!" Ben hauled her against him, no longer playing, just looking for relief before his friend broke the door down.

Rey found his soft grunts and swears endearing, so she took pity on him and increased her pace even further. "Come for me, Ben," she instructed, grinding down on him with all her might. "Come now and then we can eat. Or you can eat me, whichever you prefer."

The dirty talk seemed to work, because in the next minute, Ben was biting down on her shoulder, shaking with the force of his orgasm. Not far behind, Rey led his hand to her swollen nub, needing just a hair more stimulation to tip over the edge. Almost instantly, his trembling touch sent her into climax. Still vaguely aware of what's-his-name banging on the hotel room door, she pressed her mouth to Ben's pectoral to muffle her cries and came for what felt like ages…

"That—was—amazing," Ben panted, hugging her so tightly she thought she might pop. "The—best—I've—ever—had!"

"Me—too," she couldn't help but admit.

Loosening his hold, Ben cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly. "Thank you."

"Ah—you're welcome," she said, smiling like an idiot. Before she could lean in again, Poe resumed making his presence known.

"Ben? Are you okay? Answer me! Did that woman kill you? Your mother will be so pissed if you're dead." He hit the door again. "Either answer me in the next ten seconds or I'm going to get security!"

"I'm fine, great, alive, whatever!" Ben called back loudly. "And annoyed," he said to Rey. "Go into the bedroom for a minute while I get rid of him."

"Okay," she agreed, gingerly getting up. They both groaned when he slipped out of her, which Rey found gratifying. "Can I use the shower now?"

"Sure, there are towels under the sink. My sleep shirts are in the top drawer of the dresser," he offered.

"He wants me to spend the night?" she mused, feeling giddy and terrified all at once. "Alright," she said aloud, picking up her clothes and disappearing into the bedroom she'd been casing earlier, "call out if you need backup."

"Will do," he chuckled, "will do."

——————

Ten minutes later, Rey emerged from the bathroom feeling fresh and back in control. Picking a long sleeve shirt out of Ben's dresser at random, she pulled it over her naked body before toweling off her wet hair. The black cotton was as soft as it was big, but Rey didn't mind; it smelled like Ben.

Catching her reflection in the floor length mirror by the closet, she was amused to see that the garment fell to her knees like a sack, giving her already slender body exactly zero shape. "Oh, well, it's not like I plan on wearing it lon—"

A disturbance in the living room suddenly diverted her reverie. Sneaking to the door, she carefully cracked it and peaked out.

"You can't just keep her here!" Poe nearly shouted at Ben.

"Keep your fucking voice down," he snarled back. "You're not my boss or my mother and you can't tell me what to do. I'm a grown ass man!"

"Maybe so, but you're acting like a teenager! You can't just sleep with some chick you picked up off the side of the road when Leia is counting on you to—"

"I told you," Ben said through gritted teeth, "she saved my ass and I wanted to get to know her. I didn't hire her for the fucking night!"

"Could have fooled me," Poe scoffed. "For all you know, she could have been in on the attack and—"

"Get out!" Ben ordered, clearly at his wit's end. "I'll call you when you're needed again, if you are."

"Are you firing me?!"

"Not yet," Ben said grimly, marching to the door and flinging it open. "Just go before I forget that you're my best friend and say something I regret."

"Fine," Poe said, storming out of the apartment. "Let me know when you come to your senses!"

Ben slammed the door shut, then turned around and leaned on it. Scurrying back into the bathroom before he caught her eavesdropping, she started combing her hair, attempting to look natural in case he came in after her. When he didn't, she tried not to feel disappointed.

Leaving her damp hair hanging loose around her shoulders, Rey found him sitting at the dining table in his towel with several brown paper bags in front of him. He looked lost in thought and she hoped he hadn't taken Poe's opinion about her motives to heart. "Wotcher, Ben?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?" he said, looking up at her. "Sorry, I was just...uh…" The arrested look on his face made her toes curl. "Wow, you look amazing."

"This old thing?" she joked, sidling up next to him. "I borrowed it from a mate."

"He has good taste," he said, opening his arms.

"I certainly think so," she said coyly, moving to sit sideways on his lap. Rey curled one arm around his neck and placed the other one on his chest. "Are you still hungry?"

"For food?" he choked, holding her so that she wouldn't slide off.

"Food," she nodded, leaning her forehead against his, "and other things."

One of Ben's large hands inserted itself between her thighs. "These kinds of things?" he murmured. "I think we can—fuck!" he bit his lip as he discovered that she wasn't wearing anything underneath his shirt.

"We can certainly fuck," she teased, "but—oh!" Rey gasped as he stood with her in his strong arms. "Ben? What are you…?"

Before she could get the words out, he'd pushed their dinner out of the way and laid her down on the table. Placing the backs of her knees in the crook of each arm, Ben pulled her forward until her butt was on the edge of the table and her pussy was level with his mouth.

"Having dinner," he said in the most ridiculously sexy tone of voice she'd ever heard, flipping his nightshirt up so that she was bare from the waist down.

"Oh, god!" she whimpered as he lowered his head. "Ben, you don't really have to—ah!" Gripping the back of his head as he started to lick her folds, Rey shuddered every time his long nose bumped against her clit.

"Enjoying yourself?" he said a little arrogantly. "Is this why you came home with me? Cause you wanted me to make you feel good?"

Considering how very well he was treating her, and the uncertainty on his face, she decided to play along. "Yes, Ben, I wanted you the second I saw you!"

He smiled slightly, then resumed tasting her. "So, does that mean you want to come?"

"That would be lovely," she sighed, enjoying the pressure of his wide mouth.

His mouth quirked at that. "Never heard sex described that way before."

"Then you're doing it with the wrong people."

"Oh?" his gaze turned hot. "And how many people have you been doing it with?"

"Not many," she said hurriedly, "and not in a long time."

"Good girl," he said silkily. "So, if I were to put my fingers inside you, would your cunt feel… full?"

"Yes!" she panted, so wet she was dripping onto the table now.

"Let's see then."

Arching her back as he slid two fingers inside her body, Rey realized that she had never really known sexual satisfaction until tonight. She was twenty-five and still basically knew nothing about sex and relationships. "Huh."

Ben stopped moving, lifting his dark head to look at her. "Rey? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily. "I guess I've just never felt this way before."

He held her eyes for an extended moment, amber striking against hazel. "Yeah, me too." And then he was fingering her again, sucking and teasing her slick opening until she was crying out his name in ecstasy.

Afterward, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Needless to say, they skipped dinner that night.

——————

Rey grunted as she felt Ben leave the bed the next morning. He had been her heater since the sheets and pillows were strewn about the room. "Come back," she said hoarsely, throat worn from use. "I'm cold."

"Just a moment," he laughed, opening the bedroom door to fetch something from the living room. "Your cell has been going off for an hour straight."

"My cell?" she yawned. Then, "Oh, no." She sat bolt upright. "Wait! Don't—"

"Rey?" Ben called in disbelief. "Who the fuck is Finn?"

——————

A/N: I love Kingsman and always think about Rey being a punk with a heart of gold like Eggsy. I didn't include the spy angle, but I was able to visit The Black Prince, where scenes were filled for the movie, a couple years ago and have fond memories. Anyway, reviews are appreciated! <3 

[nautilusopus]

Serious non-troll: What if you like the cop-outs and the scrambled bullshit plots and the nonsense towers of half-constructed ideas? I agree that for example Nomura is a goddamn crazy person but I find his convulsions fascinating and want to see more of them.

i mean, you’re entirely within your rights to do that. it’s just frustrating that there’s visibly no effort put into any of it, and he’s just writing for the sake of what makes the trailer look good, and that’s been 100% to the detriment of the story ever since he’s started doing it

i’m not even inherently opposed to ridiculous convoluted bullshit. i’m one of those pretentious fuckheads that unironically likes End of Evangelion and thinks it made perfect sense, obviously, duh, with all its absolute nonsense of adam and lilith and rei being a god-analogue from absorbing both the white and black seeds and allowing shinji to dictate the ultimate outcome of third impact in the culmination of a couple of really fucking long and extremely obtuse character arcs. i mean, hell, i’m 38 chapters into a fic that is running off nothing but weird high-concept ideas of how reality and parallel universes work and abstract metaphor andsleep deprivation. in any other circumstances, i’m fine with convoluted batshit nonsense.

i think the best way to explain the heart of the issue is to look at what happened to the matrix trilogy. or actually wait this is tumblr, everyone’s in high school and would’ve been foetuses or something when Revolutions came out. homestuck, then. we’ll look at homestuck. 

okay so homestuck. remember when that was as big as it was? initially, the big stumbling block was the slow pace of act 1 where john just kind of fucks around throwing glass at clown dolls for a while and if you weren’t into that kind of humour that was where the comic immediately lost you, but what ultimately got the ball rolling was [S] WV: Ascend. the general metric back then was if you weren’t hooked by that one, you wouldn’t like homestuck at all, and for many people that was the point of no return. the reason WV: Ascend was as big of a deal as it was is that we’ve been seeing a bunch of disconnected nonsense happening all over the place, and this is the first time we see our first major time loop actually closed, with the promise of a few more being set up. all that supposed joke nonsense we’d been watching the whole time? it actually mattered, surprise! from there, the narrative spends a lot of time introducing a lot of new concepts – we have captchaloguing and paradox slime, and time travel, and doomed timelines, and exiles and future versions of planets from a parallel universe the metanarrative being perpetuated by the author being diagetic and fuck knows what other things i’m forgetting about. and then, to throw you for a loop twelve whole other characters show up on top of that. so then the narrative needs to spend time establishing who these people are and what their relevance to the story is – which it does, by having them be active participants in the first arc as things go on. this ultimately culminates in [S] Cascade, where we see all these different concepts eventually tie into one another because they were deliberately set up to, and it’s at that point that you figure, well shit we’ve hit a point where all the time travel stuff has finally come to a head. and with it, you’d expect it to also bring all the character stuff to a head too, but instead hussie has an entire extra act to go so we can’t have that resolve yet. 

so in the meantime, here are 20-ish whole other characters doing some other things. but we don’t have time to establish what’s effectively the silmarillion by now, so we have to speed past it, meaning we aren’t given a chance to care about these new people. but we can’t have a chance to care about them either, because we still have to tie all this into 5 whole previous acts that are meant to feed into this. at this point, homestuck is visibly collapsing under its own weight. character arcs are forced to fart around in circles because the status quo can’t change because we still need to make it to endgame with these character dynamics more or less intact. but that’s boring to read so we’ll do this entire “what if” thing and then retcon it all out of existence, and then have the fact that you can retcon things suddenly become vital to the resolution of the coming in place of anything we’ve already established previously – not the time travel, not the parallel universe with the trolls, not even the whole thing with the Scratch leading to the alpha kids being here in the first place – when the mechanic was only introduced in the first place to sloppily patch a story together that had long since devolved into infodumps that served to paint hussie further and further into a corner as he was forced to define his lore to get the plot to keep moving forward despite the fact that the narrative wasn’t focusing properly on the people that could make that happen anymore because the story had since switched focus from those people almost entirely. 

and in the meantime the damn thing got eaten up by filler, and suddenly characters from that filler are showing up like they were totally relevant to the main story the whole time even though literally nothing they did in their own subplot had any direct bearing on the story at large, unlike the initial 12 trolls. why yes, Alternate Universe Calliope was a completely necessary addition to the story! didn’t you see our important sidestory thing where they do Stuff, and then her showing up in the climax to resolve some other things that are sorta disconnected from the main plot anyway?

not to mention the shipping. nothing ruins a story faster than throwing in a love triangle or eight, and then immediately invalidating all the character growth that happened on top of that anyway by having it literally never happen. not that it would’ve mattered anyway, because remember, we never actually got to have any of this really developed to begin with. 

by the time we hit end of act 6, there’s been so many new concepts haphazardly stapled onto the story and so many threads brought up and discarded entirely when we already established back with [S] Cascade that the story works best when they actually do this and it is doable, that it stops being merely complicated and off the wall, and starts being spread too thin, incomprehensible, and ultimately no longer part of a whole narrative deliberately comprised of interlocking storylines. shit’s just kinda happening at you, and rather than getting to see parts of a text interacting as a result of them coming from somewhere for the express purpose of then going to somewhere, you’re just being asked to accept that, yup, that’s a thing that’s going on right now. neato. sure is some stuff happening and whatnot. and in the end, for all that posturing, it didn’t even do anything. in pre-cascade homestuck that wouldn’t have even been a full flash. a bunch of nonsense happens, and then They Fightan Good, and then it’s over and there’s not a single time paradox or meta-interaction to be found. none of the stuff they built up to over all these years mattered, and neither did any of the stuff they just threw in, either. 

i’m sure you see what i’m getting at with this. 

(also he treats the women in his stories like shit and quite frankly i’m sick of it and even more sick that people keep giving him a pass for it because it’s practically reached parody levels at this point , so there’s that)

i have no problem with convoluted twisty bullshit in and of itself. but it has to accomplish something aside from just existing, and nomura doesn’t do that. by his own admission, kingdom hearts wasn’t planned, and it shows really badly. characters and entire story mechanics and plot lines are introduced solely for the sake of introducing them. they don’t go anywhere or build to anything, because they can’t, because fuck we have to stall for kh3 shhhh just keep adding more soras and hopefully no one will notice. i think the last time any of this actually mattered was kh2, and even that had a lot of the issues i’ve mentioned here. as a result of all of this, the character arcs suffer a lot, and you’re left with nothing but a big ball of plot twists that goes nowhere, and a bunch of characters that only somewhat have anything to do with any of it. 

i don’t feel like it’s overly nitpicky to find this kinda gross and seriously insulting of the audience’s intelligence. it’s just lazy time-stalling. i get that people sometimes really don’t care about stuff like narrative and character development and are just here to see riku punching mike wazowski in the teeth or whatever, but i think it’s disingenuous to pretend that these aren’t nonetheless important parts of a game’s construction – especially a studio that used to openly pride itself on selling games with a focus on story. 

and the genuinely frustrating part is, no one cares. people are gushing all over everything square puts out because it’s square, so they know they don’t have to put effort into their stories. i’m well aware i’m in the minority for saying that these games are bad. but i also thought we were done with treating, “it’s just a video game, bro! why do you care so much about the story having quality as a narrative? this isn’t an english class!” as a valid rebuttal. 

maybe i should’ve used the matrix trilogy instead. most people hate movies 2 and 3 for the weird “YOU’VE ALREADY MADE THE CHOICE/EVERYTHING THAT HAS A BEGINNING HAS AN END NEO” shit and the bonkers christ-allegory ending. i hate it because neo is about as interesting as the rock that cracked goofy’s skull open.

[super8motel]

Gillian didn’t say it as ”thankfully I’m not intersex” she was joking she wasn’t a fish and half human because the character is half fish and half human. Human upper part of the body and lower body is a fish. Ya’ll be reaching for something she didn’t even say! It was a direct joke connected to a dumb show that isn’t funny and it’s not ignorant because intersex people are not half fucking fish! They are only 100% human!! And GA’s 2017 book is dedicated to anyone who identify as a woman.

Ok look, first of all, you don't need to come at me with this energy. Calm down. This interaction you're referring to was very inconsequential to me, I was making a brief attempt at an explanation. I was not 'reaching', I literally love Gillian Anderson. Which is why when some random Tumblr user said she is transphobic, I searched for whatever they could possibly be interpreting as such. I Googled the words 'Gillian Anderson transphobic' and was linked to this tweet:

For anyone who doesn't understand, Old Gregg is a half fish, half man creature from an Adult Swim show called The Mighty Boosh (which isn't a 'dumb show that isn't funny'....Like wow, how dare you...it's dumb as hell but it's funny). One of the most notable bits Old Gregg does is offer to show people his 'mangina' under his skirt. It's honestly a pretty stupid bit and I always found it kinda juvenile, but it's a dumb weird show that came on at like 2am, so you can't expect much.

However, your logic about what she actually meant isn't lining up. First of all, Old Gregg is not a mermaid. He doesn't have a 'human upper half' and a fish lower half. He has legs. He's basically a normal human man with fish scales and big lips. His fishiness isn't at all connected to his 'downstairs', whatever you interpret that to mean. It's a loose joke so you can see it however you want, but I really don't think Gillian was like "I look like Old Gregg in this picture, but thankfully I'm not half-fish" but chose to say that as "no mixed-up downstairs" like that makes no fucking sense! She is almost definitely saying "Thankfully I don't have a mangina" because it's one of Old Gregg's main jokes.

That being said! I'm not personally offended by this joke. It's not the funniest joke in the world, I probably wouldn't have said it like that, but it's not like Gillian hates anyone with non-standard genitals. She was just messing around. All I was doing was explaining to someone WHY people are calling her transphobic, I was not taking part in that accusation. I'm sure she doesn't give 2 fucks what's between someone's legs.

The reason I used the word 'ignorant' (which is to LACK knowledge/awareness) is simply because I don't think she considered how an intersex/trans person would perceive this joke. I don't think she realized how many times ambiguous genitalia are made the butt of a joke, and supposed to be funny inherently because they're 'weird'. In a world where intersex people are accurately represented, I don't think she would make this joke, because there wouldn't be any negative connotation to having a 'mixed-up downstairs'. But it's not like I'm saying she actively hates or disrespects non-cis people. I'm just saying it was a little off-color. If you wanna continue to believe she was merely referencing his "fish downstairs" then I cannot stop you. But I think it's a weird take for sure.

Anyways, I feel like you really misinterpreted my feelings towards this woman. Like, you can't even begin to understand the adoration I hold for Gillian Anderson. She's smart, funny, takes no shit, she played one of the most influential women in 90s television, she helped me realize I'm attracted to women, not to mention she's aged like a fine wine. She seems to have done much more good than harm. If I could choose to have dinner with any 5 people, she'd be one of them.

And honestly, I've made much worse jokes in high school than her Old Gregg tweet. I don't expect her to be morally perfect, God knows we live in a confusing world where you can't live without offending somebody. It's always been that way. People live different lives and sometimes don't see how their actions/words look from someone else's perspective. We can help each other be more sensitive without being assholes about it. I think it's kinda stupid to label her as a complete transphobe rather than someone who made a joke in poor taste, but people are obsessed with labels and categorizing people as good and bad.

You don't have to defend her to me. Neither of us actually know her, so all of this is speculation. I just try to keep updated on what my fav celebs are willing to say publicly because it gives me an idea of who they are personally. But we don't know about her life. I'm not one of the people making broad assumptions about her and trying to smear her reputation, I'm a neutral party, so IDK why you came to me with this... I hope this reply offers you some resolution.

[eldritchsurveys]

o62.

[[ Random Survey Questions // By @x-hallie-x​ ]] What is the most you’ve ever eaten in one sitting? >> I have no idea, really... probably like 7/8ths of a pizza? Or maybe something else. I also don’t pay a whole lot of attention, so, you know.

How often do you skip breakfast? >> “Breakfast” is a hard concept for me to lock onto, because I usually eat at some point after waking up, but it’s not like... a dedicated meal. I just eat when I’m too hungry not to.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? >> Here, probably five days or so.

Where are you going the next time you go out? >> Sparrow is going to this... idk, informal memorial thing or something for one of her grandparents so I guess I’m going with her lol.

Did/do you miss a lot of school or do you have a good attendance record? >> I had an impeccable attendance record until high school, and the only reason I didn’t have an impeccable one in high school is because I was in and out of the hospital by eleventh grade.

What are some weird habits you have while eating/about food in general? >> I don’t like certain textures (things being mushy when they’re not Supposed to be is the best example). Produce has to be inspected and vetted before I put it in my mouth; any imperfection is liable to put me off eating it. I don’t like messy sandwiches (have had shutdowns in restaurants because of messy burgers and such). Probably more, but I don’t really think about it until someone points it out or I inconvenience someone else with a habit of mine.

What kinds of things are likely to make you cry? >> Certain movies. Grey’s Anatomy. Some of the things Can Calah says. A lot of the things Wednesday says. That’s really it as far as “likely” is concerned.

What are some things that make others cry that don’t make you cry at all? >> Animal death and most people’s deaths (David Bowie was a special case and I’ll fight anyone about it) are the only things I can think of that are almost guaranteed to make other people cry but generally don’t affect me on that exact same level. Other than that, I feel like the things that make people cry are as varied as people themselves, and it’s really difficult to compare this sort of thing.

If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? >> As of the past month or so, I’ve been drinking significantly less in comparison to earlier habits. I opened a bottle of wine a couple of weeks ago and I only just drank the last of it a couple of days ago. I’ve had a four-pack of Backwoods Bastard for at least a week and a half, and I still have two left. I don’t even drink enough to get past tipsy anymore, I just kinda stop myself when I notice the “hey we feel great, so that means drink more!” impulse, because I know it’s a fallacy and it’s one discipline-related thing I can teach myself right now -- to ignore that voice. I don’t really just... sit and drink anymore, which is an improvement. I think it’s finally just lost most of its appeal -- alcohol is too much of a stressor on the body-mind and I’m tired of it. I don’t smoke anymore; I try to sometimes because I still have this pack of cloves and I’m just like “meh” every time. I would still smoke weed, though, but I don’t have access to that.

Where was the last place you went out to eat and what did you order?What do you think of fast food? >> I actually don’t remember... I’m sure we went out at some point after Chicago but I’m just blanking on it. So I’ll just say Nando’s, which was in Chicago, and we ordered wings and chips (and I got one of the custards). I like fast food, I think it’s great. I just can’t eat it often because I have a bougie body. (You can thank my father for that.)

What website do you spend the most time on and why? >> tumblr, because I genuinely enjoy it here.

What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? >> Like, in a day? All of it. And yeah, that’s pretty standard for me, although video games now influence how much time I’m actually on the web (as opposed to using the internet connection for the game).

What is something you daydream about often? >> I don’t know that I daydream. I am either in meatspace or inworld, but I don’t think I play around in dreamscapes much. Inworld kind of is like a dreamscape, in the sense that it’s sensitive to Our needs and wants and adapts accordingly, so I guess that limits my need for daydreaming...? I don’t know. When I do daydream it’s to get ideas for writing stuff, I think.

What is one belief you used to have, but no longer do? In what ways are you influenced by the opinions of others, if ever? >> I used to believe that my identity was set in stone and I couldn’t do anything about that. And I guess I’m reasonably influenced by the opinions of others -- like, I’ll always consider a convincing argument. I try not to get caught up too much in confirmation bias, but that’s always going to be a pitfall, too. Mostly I just try to keep an open mind, because it’s valuable to me not to get too tunnel-visioned or “this is how it is and anything else is wrong!” about anything. After all, what do I know, right?

What was the last thing to make you feel good about yourself? >> I don’t remember. Uncertainty (regarding myself, my development, my contribution to society, etc) has been a struggle lately, but I guess that’s just human.

How would you describe your overall (or preferred) personal aesthetic? >> Right now I’m just kind of a lazy goth/metalhead. It’s difficult for me to shop for clothing and I also don’t have a lot of money. Plus, it doesn’t matter as much to me as it did when I was a little younger and had to look like a goth fashion plate at all times. (I did look good, though! :p)

What kinds of small judgments are you likely to make about others? >> I make a lot of inconsequential snap judgements about people on tumblr, mostly, because that’s the most contact I have with strangers on a regular basis. You know, like... “oh god you must not get off tumblr much if you’re discoursing about whether aces belong in the queer community” or “oh my god you really can’t stand to see the word queer ever in your life? smh” stuff like that. Mostly because I’m fucking tired of the discourse, but luckily I don’t see much of it on my dashboard so I usually don’t have much snarky internal commentary to make. 

What was the last thing you did mostly because society expected you to? >> That’s a good question but I don’t remember, lol.

When was the last time you felt out of place? >> In “bougie Meijer” (the Meijer in Cascade, which is an upscale part of town... they have Tesla charger ports in the parking lot, if that’s any indication) earlier. It’s such a low-grade alienation that I don’t even notice it anymore, but like... just going a lot of places in Michigan makes me feel out of place and socially/culturally alienated. I have never belonged here and I don’t expect to ever feel like I belong here.

Do you believe in aliens, spirits, or angels of any sort? >> Sure. I see no reason not to.

In what ways are you superstitious? >> I’m not sure. I don’t think I am, really; I think I have a few minor compulsions at best, but I’m not really superstitious per se.

What is something you wish for right now? >> To not have a reproductive system.

Where was the last place you went walking and how far? Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? >> Uh... the mall, I guess? Does that count? LOL. Wasn’t very far. I don’t do much walking these days. And I don’t know, I’d just... rather not exercise at all. Doing it with others doesn’t really make it any more fun for me because that’s how much I hate it.

What kinds of nail polish colors do you prefer to wear? How about makeup? >> Black, usually. I like other colours, I just... feel more comfortable in black. I like gold and dark shimmery colours in makeup, and plum-toned lip colour.

How would you describe your own relationship with makeup? >> I don’t really have a relationship with it, I wear it sometimes for the lulz but usually I don’t have the patience for it. It’s a huge hassle for someone like me.

Who has been in your life the longest amount of time? What about the shortest? >> I think Elle has been in my life for the longest amount of time (9 years). Shortest... Rez, I think (maybe 7 or 8 months? idk time isn’t real).

Who was the last person to leave your life? How about return to it? >> I just realised some of these questions got mushed together when I copied it and they weren’t supposed to be answered that way, lmao. Oops. Oh well, what’s done is done. The last person to leave my life was Sigma and the last one to return to it was Hallie.

When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? >> Culturally-rich places, places where people look more like me, places where colonisation and/or Westernisation hasn’t completely supplanted the local culture and religion, places where nature isn’t treated like something to conquer.

Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? >> I think it’s an amazing idea, and I love it. Whether it’s a “good” idea or not is better argued by people who have knowledge of these things. I don’t know if it’s a “good” idea or not, but I know it makes me very excited, and that’s all I can speak about. I would absolutely go if I could.

What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? >> Probably a few miles. Well, there was one time when I was stuck in North Carolina and I wanted out and I... well, it’s a long story, lmao, I’ll certainly tell it but not in the middle of a survey. I’ve also walked many city blocks in a day when I lived in New York, for funsies or for free travel... but I don’t know how to translate that unit of measurement into more standard units.

Why do or don’t you prefer to make New Year resolutions? If you make them, what kinds are likely to stick? >> I don’t make them because there’s no way a New Year resolution is going to stick any harder for me than it would if I made the resolution any other time of year. I think NYRs are cool and fine, they just are ineffective for me personally. Also, I try not to put that kind of pressure on myself unless it’s absolutely necessary, and if it is, then it doesn’t matter what time of year it is.

Do you have a chore/housecleaning routine or anything like that? >> Not... really. 

How organized would you say your living space is? >> My room is vaguely disorganised only because my storage options are limited and the space is small so things get out of hand really quickly. It does bother me but I try not to get too far into my head about it because honestly, it really isn’t that big a deal, I’m just crazy. The rest of the apartment is in various stages of array or disarray because Sparrow, lol.

What is one thing your ideal living situation would include? >> A big bathroom with a big glass-door shower with dark stone instead of white tile. (Or maybe no doors. Just the showerhead(s) and a sloped floor for proper drainage. I don’t know, I just have this badbrains complex about small white bathrooms with a lot of “hidden”/hard-to-clean nooks that’s really been ruining my life.)

What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? >> Me. Hurr hurr. :B Uh... I can’t think of anything specific, you know, it’s just... life. Things about me and my development, things about how I can be a “good/better” (that’s not the word set I would use exactly, but you know what I mean... like “effective” but not quite so clinical) SO, things about being human and what it means for me to be human, things about my fear of death and how to deal with it, things about how to help myself since I can’t seem to get any professional help, adulting things like finances and stuff, and so on.

What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? >> Hmm... I don’t know! Probably like... how much I miss NOLA. That ain’t important. But it feels important to me! :’(

Do you find it easier to forgive yourself or others? >> I don’t really think about forgiveness, it’s not a concept that has much use for me. I really do think it’s like... a religious sort of thing, like a ritualistic “I have let go of this thing for the moral good” kind of cathartic... rite??? I don’t know. All I know is that I’ve never felt the need to make a point to Forgive Someone. It always seemed like an extra step, like... I’ve already processed this pain and I’m learning how to accept myself as this new creature with this new scar and I’m moving on with my life... oh, wait, now I have to Forgive too? I’m already moving on! Isn’t that the same thing? Or like, if I let someone back into my life, then I have to Forgive them too? That isn’t the same thing???? It really confuses me and I know sometimes I just sound Dense or like I’m playing dumb or something but like... listen, I live in this brain, and it works the way it works. Sue me. And if I’m not wreaking bloody vengeance on you, then just... call it “forgiven” if you must, and let’s move on! Please, for our fathers’ sake! :’)

Have you ever had to call 911? For who/what reason? >> Yeah. My first boyfriend, Tommy, was an addict and overdosed twice in one week. I had to call the ambulance both times. (His GP had prescribed him a giant ass bottle of Vicodin for this “old injury” pain he complained of. When I say “giant”, I mean like... there were 150 pills in there. I remember this because the EMTs had me count how many were left, and it was something like 70. He’d only gotten them a few days prior, like a week prior at most. They made me count twice because it seemed so implausible to them. But nope! His GP was a fucking idiot and he was a career addict!!! It be’s like that!!!!!) (And THEN, to top it off, this fucking dude came over and brought drugs with him! And gave them to Tommy! He got his ass beat in the hospital elevator by Tommy’s best friend and threatened into disappearing, though, so that solved that problem. (I know because I was there.)) Great story, huh! I was also still in pharmacy tech school at this time! I did my homework in the ER! I don’t think I knew what sleep was for a week! ...I know there are a lot of exclamation points in here and it looks like I’m still upset, but actually I’m just fucking amazed at some of my experiences sometimes. Like... and yet! I’m still out here!!!!

What was the last book you purchased? Have you started reading it yet? >> The last book I bought was... hmm... I don’t remember. But the last book I was bought was A Book That Takes Its Time, which Hallie bought me because I thought his copy was so neat :’) <3 I read one chapter, I think (it’s not a reading-book as much as a, like... doing-book, a contemplating-book), but then other stuff took precedence so I haven’t gotten back to it yet. Soon! I promise :p

Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? >> I do! I haven’t eaten it lately because I don’t eat a lot of heavy stuff in the summertime, but I love it in fall and winter. I usually just put ghee and cinnamon and honey or maple syrup in mine. Very filling, hehe.

What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? >> I was thinking about when I lived in 7F, and like... there’s no way I would ever, ever, want to go back to living in that rundown NYCHA apartment where I slept on the living room floor along with anywhere from 1 to 4 other people (sometimes up to 6 on random nights), where I had nothing to myself and I was at the whim of the leaseholder (who could be capricious sometimes, just like us all), and where I basically spent 90% of my time intoxicated in some way just to... not fall into the black pit of despair or boredom or loneliness. I don’t. I would be perfectly happy to never see it again barring maybe a couple of visits in the future, if that’s a thing that happens. But nostalgia is patently stupid, and it tries to form unnecessary attachments to every memory, and so sometimes I’m like “damn, them were the days” and like, really, Shadow? Really? Them were NOT the days. ...But one thing I will say-- I’ve got some great stories from living in that apartment.

How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? >> I pay a moderate amount of attention... like, I could definitely stand to pay more attention, because I do find it interesting, but I just never make time for it, yanno. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to assume their influence in our lives, since we’re all star-stuff and ~cosmic relativity~ and... I don’t know. It just gels very well with my worldview (my universe-view, if you will) and I don’t see any reason to debunk it just for the sheer sake of... cynicism, or whatever gets people hard these days.

When was the last time you were afraid to tell someone something? >> I really don’t remember.

When was the last time something didn’t go the way you expected it would? >> When I went to the Love Wins thing and the Blue Bridge did NOT light up rainbow at nightfall!!!! I was mad as hell, lmao. I wanted to show Hallie.

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? >> Hmm.... Silent Hill 4? That was a long time ago, though, so my memory of its difficulty might be skewed by exactly how bad I was at video games back then. Maybe WoW, because it’s an MMO with a lot of elements, and it took me a long time to figure out all those elements -- but once I did, it really helped me with other games, so I really enjoy how the learning curve is getting smoother and smoother with the more games I play. It’s kind of like muscle memory but also like... just pattern recognition, really.

What was the last thing you just couldn’t understand? >> Why people glorify terrible child-raising practices instead of thinking, “you know, maybe that was fucked up and maybe I shouldn’t repeat it”. I also still can’t fucking understand why Jay sent me a friend request on facebook. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!!!! WE ARE NOT FRIENDS

Other than this survey, what was the last question you were asked that you didn’t want to answer? >> The last question that I was asked that I didn’t want to answer.... yeah, I really don’t know??? I just have a hard time remembering this kind of thing unless there was specific reason for me to hang onto it and rehash it in my mind or whatever. idk! good survey tho. :B

[elecman108]

Happy New Year everyone. I’m plotting to do nothing specific for like resolutions this year (I never do) but I’m gonna start the year off with some thoughts in general about the world.

So I’m gonna spew out some ideas in text format under the read-more line so y’all don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Alright, so, yesterday, late as usual, I was catching up on my Youtube. Yogscast, Madcat, Game Theory, the usual mumbo-jumbo I watch. I was watching more of a Zelda Ocarina of Time playthrough by FWOB (Episode 16, Recording Goblins if you’re interested) and Dad and Dillon were talking about their christmas shit they went through, and one of them said something really woke, I can’t find the exact bit, but it was something to the effect of “Parents don’t care about your information you might have backed up in science if it’s something that was around when they were younger.”

So, if it’s like their example, dieting by drinking protein shakes, and it’s not exactly what you’re supposed to do, because those are for building muscle mass (And if playing Persona 3/Q has taught me anything, is that Aki is a muscle nut who drinks protein shakes to build muscle, so... I learned that from a video game!). But like, whoever it was who was talking about it had a background in that sort of thing, so he KNEW about it. And his parents were like “that’s your OPINION”. Like, no, that’s science. I thought nothing of it aside from “man, adults are dumb” because it was almost midnight and I was tired.

But today I was chilling at my grandma’s - as my family does on New Year’s Day for some coffee and chatting - and I realized exactly how true that their little statement was. Lemmie set the scene for a moment.

My parents and grandma were chatting about meats, and someone mentioned antibiotic-free meat. Now, in a class I’d had this past semester, I learned that, at least for chicken in Canada, that “antibiotic-free” applies only to how the chick is raise, not their parent chickens. Most of these grain-fed chickens come from antibiotic-overusing places and thus, those superbacteria on the chickens that are immune to antibiotics gets spread down the lineage to their eggs. So I mentioned that casually like “it’s not necessarily a good thing, antibiotic free. You gotta know where the egg originated from, otherwise it’s like, probably got superbacteria on it.” And INSTANTLY all adults (aside from my bro) were like “Are you sure? Because its antibiotic FREE. That means free of antibiotic use.” And lemmie tell you, I wasn’t entirely going to step down, but I had to otherwise I had three adults telling me my founded in facts science I got from a reputable source study from a class where my teacher only used reputable sources was not reputable, and I’d be “argumentative”. And that got me thinking.

What the fuck?

Because it’s science. We know it’s science. Use a thing, body gets used to it, bacteria/viruses try to get used to it. That’s how it works. You take the drugs too much, your body lowers itself as to not cause you harm from overusing the drug, stop using it and the bad things that have gotten used to it remain and cause problems later.

So why is that science “wrong”?

And here’s another thing for thought: why is it that things about COMPUTERS, instantly adults turn to the younger generation, because they know computers? Why is that fine and understandable, but science might not be if coming from a younger generation’s mouth?

And here’s the thing: It got me thinking.

And that’s never a good idea, because I think a lot. And when I do, I put it to the world.

Here’s something we all know about: Gun Violence in the US. It’s rampant, it makes me nervous when I go through and see guns in random stores, I’m constantly on-edge. Why? Because I don’t... want... to get shot? A logical thought. I don’t want anyone ELSE to get shot. Guns are causing issues, get rid of them. But why won’t they? Because back in earlier decades, when the people in power were younger, guns were fine. They were useful. Now people are getting guns and being all bah whatever about them and they’re just ending up in bad hands and causing shootings regularly. But they won’t change it because the young people who are trying to force change are “wrong”.

How about anti-vaxxers? They don’t want to vaccinate their kids because they think it’s “wrong” and could cause bad things to happen. Why? Because when they were growing up, their parents most likely didn’t believe in vaccinations and put their values on their kids.

Any new information is bad if old information, however false it might be, contradicts it.

Even if the new information is a solid fact.

This new generation of people, these millennials and such, we’ve grown up with the internet. We’ve grown up with phones in our hands 24/7. We’ve grown up in the age of information, where you can check your facts and check what other people say, but we don’t check. Why? Because we’ve been raised to think if someone’s older, they’re wiser, even if they know jack shit about what they’re talking about.

Mansplainning! It’s the same deal! Someone older (or who thinks they’re superior in knowledge, it might just be that) thinks that everyone else doesn’t know shit, so what they say is true, even if the person they’re explaining it to wrote the book.

The world is run on two sides of the same coin. People who won’t change their opinions or knowledge for new information, and people who’ve grown up with so much bullshit being thrown at them that they’ve learned to take everything with a grain of salt and double-check their sources, information, and make an educated and logical opinion. And the people who want change are the second side, and the people who can make change are the first.

It doesn’t work.

People are stubborn, I know this. I’m stubborn. Hell, I take information with a grain of salt all the time and will stick my foot in the door to wrong information if I’m under the impression it’s right. But I have to check. That’s my problem. I hate being wrong. Everyone hates it.

Actually, I might just hate being wrong because I had crippling social anxiety issues growing up from being bullied for the longest time for being “smart”. Which makes me now be incapable of taking a compliment without almost crying or replying with “but I’m dumb, let’s be real here”. Which I am. Well, I think I am. Because I’ve been told this, and I’m not open to new information.

So take this with a grain of salt. I have no backup information. No research, no studies, no nothing. All I have is life experience.

Tumblr’s nipple-bot-ban? User-base can’t change it because the company thinks it’s superior to its users, and thus their information over-rules our logic, fact, and experience with the platform. Our thoughts? Fuck those, they’re not ours, they’re wrong. That’s their logic.

Companies cut corners to make things cheaper for them to make so they can make money. But that’s wrong. Slavery by whatever food company that was (Nestle, I think? Don’t take that for fact, I forget the company...) is fine, because  they are right, and you, the person with the facts, are wrong. But you’re not. But they insist it’s needed or you’re wrong.

If it doesn’t make money instantly, they don’t want it.

Our society is being run by money-hungry capitalists stuck in their old, outdated information, and the new age of people who fact-check are screaming at them. Sometimes literally.

And some are just typing for half an hour on Tumblr because they have nothing better to do, and no other platform to put their thoughts on. Because the other one are... well, not the same sort of thing.

I’m not saying we’re going to have to outlive the old population to get anything done, but it might come down to that.

TL;DR: To make meaningful change, we need to fact-check our information and make sure we’re using the most up-to-date facts. And everyone needs to. The younger generation can’t do anything because the old generation controls everything.

Or, something along those lines. Regardless, I’m exhausted. Thinking about society and the world is exhausting. It’s... kind of scary. Really scary...