#Which honestly felt like a personal attack because it's gorgeous and possibly my favourite

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

Bai Yu Studio

[enbies-and-felonies]

KOTLC peeps!!!

I posted my first KOTLC oneshot about @everyonehasthoughts baby, Simon Foster :D Check it out on my Wattpad @pan-with-pans, or hit on that Keep Reading Button :D

My Name Is.... Simon

tw: internalized transhobia

tw: mild swearing

~~

  Sophie tugged at an eyelash. Today was NOT a good day, and knowing her life, it would probably get worse. Sitting under Calla's panakes tree, with its flowing branches and the sweet smell of its tricolor flowers normally helped calm her, but now...

    She was dirty from helping clean Wynn and Luna after they found a muddy meadow, but she couldn't stand the thought of taking a shower. Angrily, she shoved her hair long out of her face. She wanted to yell. Why did she feel so... so rotten?! She looked down at her form-fitting tunic and felt her stomach heave as she scrubbed her eyes in an effort to keep her frustrated tears from falling.

    She, Biana, and Linh had planned a girls outing for today, so they had had a sleepover and in the morning Biana had done their makeup. They had picked out gorgeous outfits; Linh wearing a dark grey, slim-fitting dress with silver embroidery that looked stunning with her hair, and a pair of leggings decorated with a flame pattern. Biana had chosen a light, flowy sundress with strawberries on it, leaving her arms and shoulders exposed. The light pink contrasted beautifully with her dark skin and hair, and she had even put her hair up with a matching strawberry pin.

    For Sophie Biana had helped pick out a form-fitting white dress with gold trimming. Despite it being pleasing to the eye, it wasn't too flashy and Sophie had liked the way it looked. Biana had said it fit nicely, and showed her curves. At the time Sophie had laughed at the compliment, but now its memory made her stomach churn even more.

    Why why why was she feeling like this???

    Groaning, Sophie curled up into the fetal position. The tenseness didn't fade, but at least with her eyes closed she could focus on the bark cutting into her back and a stone pressing against her hip. It was a better discomfort than the way her stomach felt. It made her want to tear every single eyelash out, the more it hurt the better.

    "Hey... You okay?" It was Keefe, and for some reason that didn't make her feel better.

    "Fine and dandy," She groaned, now grateful for the curtain of hair that covered her face, and therefore her tears.

    "BS." Damn empaths.

    "Maybe I'm not fine, but it doesn't matter anyway because nothing's wrong." She wasn't trying to be difficult, but how else was she supposed to say that she had no idea what was happening?

    "Sophie-" She may have been able to hide the flinch, but he felt the emotional recoil at his words.

    "Foster, please," He tried again, "Let me help you?" An idea niggled at the back of his mind.

    There was a pause, and a blue panakes flower  gently settled onto Sophie's shoulder.

    "Okay," She whispered, "You can try."

~~

    "Okay, so I'm thinking I just say things and feel your reaction to it and then we build off of that, so that then we can pinpoint what's up." The two blondes were sitting on Sophie's bed, cross-legged and with a plate of mallowmelt between them.

    Sophie raised an eyebrow.

    "What?! I didn't have much time to make a plan of attack!" Keefe raised his hands defensively, but a smirk played at the edges of his lips.

    "Well... I did already say yes." In all honesty just being around Keefe and his jokes had already helped. He had poured a bucket of water on her, which had actually helped her get the motivation to take a shower, and then Grady had made some mallowmelt for them as a surprise. His still didn't really like Keefe, but he had a secret fondness for the boy.

    "Will you need my enhancing?"

    Keefe swallowed. "I think it would be better if we didn't make it more... complicated." Sophie didn't exactly know what he meant by that, but she went along.

    "Ready?" She nodded, "Okay.... um... I should have come up with a question before I suggested this." He rubbed the back of his neck ruefully.

    "Wait! I'll just start with some generic questions, so you get comfortable with answering questions, since I know you don't like telling all of your secrets. You ARE the Mysterious Miss Foster after all." A twinge swirled in with her general 'sucky-feelings' and 'gently-amused-anticipation'. Keefe thought it was interesting, but didn't push it just yet.

    "Uh... So your favourite human thing." He needed to figure out some better questions to get to know people.

    "Well, I really miss music, but I do still get to listen to some of it via my iPod. Other than that... probably miss movies the most."

    "Favourite movie, and why?" 

    "Booksmart." There was a swell of happiness at the memory, immediately followed by reservation and hiding. Maybe... disgust? But why would she be disgusted at her favourite movie?

    "Why?"

    "Because the two girls were such close friends, and back then I was so lonely... It was nice to imagine people being so close." It was a good answer, but it didn't match the feelings she was radiating.

    "Sophie," That twinge again, "I can't help you if you don't give me the bare-chested answers. I don't plan on judging you for a movie, so you can be honest. It's okay. I mean, unless its about eating meat, but I could probably forgive you for even that." She smiled, and he grinned at his success.

    "I guess I liked it because..." She tugged an eyelash out.

    Abruptly she jerked her head up, staring into his eyes, and he instinctively brought a hand to his stomach against the churning anxiety and reservation.

    "Keefe."

    "Yeah Foster?"

    "How do- in the lost cities- How do you feel about the lgbtq community."

    Oh damn, did she know?

    "Like, personally or...?"

    "Personally." Her anxiety was the main emotion now, bubbling and swirling in his stomach.

    "I support them, for multiple reasons. And that includes ALL of them." He didn't know if she was trying to get him to say something or if she honestly just wanted to know, but at his words the storm of anxiety calmed slightly.

    "Oh. Okay. I guess I liked it because it showed representation." She was still holding back, but Keefe was too busy recovering from the abrupt onslaught of emotions and then the change in subject.

     "Cool... uh, favourite... Human celebrity??"

    "Rain Dove." There was no hesitation, but afterwards she paused. "I don't- I don't really know much about them, but they seem cool." Them? Nonbinary maybe? The idea burrowed deeper into his mind, but he still didn't put it into words.

    "This one will be more personal, okay?" Keefe waited until after her feelings had settled, not just once she nodded, before he asked, "Why don't you like being called Sophie?"

    Her heart stopped, which probably shouldn't 'technically' count as an emotion, but Keefe still sensed it. Then there was a twist of confusion as she tried to answer.

    "I don't know...?" She wasn't lying or hiding anything this time, but she still pulled at an eyelash and flicked it away.

    "Every time I said Sophie this evening you have flinched. Not always physically, but still. Is it because that was what your human parents named you?" He regarded her as she thought, turning the idea over in her head like a pebble at the beach, before frowning and shaking her head.

    "It's not that..." Her brow furrowed, and she reached her hand up again, this time continuing to tug at her eyelashes even as she pulled three out.

    Keefe took a deep breath, steeling himself for her emotions before taking her hands in his.

    "Foster, have you considered that maybe.. you aren't cis?" He really hoped he wasn't stepping out of line, and that it didn't offend her. What if he was just projecting? What if she didn't support trans people?? What if-

    He cut the thoughts off when he realized that the majority of the panic was from Foster. Her eyes were wide and she pushed away from him, nearly slipping of the bed.

    "What?! I'm not! No, I'm a girl!! I-" Her voice was shrill, but he felt the anxiety get replaced by disgust, and an undercurrent of guilt. She was lying...

    And then she was crying.

    "Keefe what if I'm broken? I don't know what I am. I think I'm a girl?? What else could I be?" She hiccupped, "I've always been a girl. I was *sniff* born a girl and I- I don't want to disappoint anybody and-"

    Keefe hugged her hard. 

    "You are not broken, you have never been broken, and I am so sorry that you might even entertain that possibility. I'm sorry for pushing, and making you uncomfortable, I just wanted you to feel better and I noticed how you never liked 'Sophie' and you didn't like 'miss' and I didn't know what to do!! I'm so sorry Foster." 

    She hugged him back, "I think, I think I just need to be alone for a minute. Can I call you later?" She sniffed.

    "Of course, I'm always here Foss-Boss."

~~~

    Sophie rocked on her bed for a while after Keefe light leaped away. She had already tugged out five more eyelashes, and now she was rocking back and forth.

    Was she not a girl? She had never thought of herself as trans before...

    But now that she thought about it... It made sense with how much she hated makeup, and dresses, and formfitting clothing... So if she wasn't a girl, then who was she?

~~~~

    "Hey Keefe?" The whisper was barely picked up by the imparter, but Keefe still heard it.

    "Yeah?"

    "I... figured some things out."

    "That's great Foster, I'm proud of you." 

    "My name is.... Simon. I think I'm a demiboy."

[fantasyfandommaiden]

The Many Kisses of Carmine Regal

Carmine is completely fine with physical affection, she is a serial cuddler, is always open to give hugs, and kisses on the cheek. However, sometimes certain kisses means more than others…

(AKA What happens when Maiden wants to write some fluffy shippy stuff. Anyone have a favourite or thoughts on who else my OC could possibly be shipped with?)

~~~~~~~

Carmine was looking at her Nathalie with a raised brow as she continued to throw dress after dress out of her closet and onto the bed, clearly not impressed. 

“Nathalie, why do I have to wear a dress?” Carmine asked in a bored tone as one said dress landed on top of her head, the red haired woman making no attempt to move it.

“Because as my plus one to this event, you need to wear formal wear.” Nathalie stated in a matter of fact tone, examining one of the dresses before shaking her head and tossing it. “Gabriel wasn’t exactly pleased with me informing him you were my plus one, so I refuse to give that man more ammo than necessary…”

“Not my fault your boss is a paragon of a scum and an all around dick.” she muttered, pulling the dress off her head as she looked at her friend. “Besides, I was nothing but cordial with him when he visited me for his session after the whole ‘Collector’ incident.” 

Nathalie turned around and looked at Carmine with an unimpressed expression “Really? So you didn’t throw shade at him about his career and parenting style?”

“Can’t throw shade about a parenting style if he doesn’t have one Nathalie.” Carmine stated simply “Parents need to have an even balance of care and discipline Nathalie. Gabriel is all about discipline and punishment for Adrien when he is anything less than perfect, and that's not healthy for a boy his age. Heck, you are already more like a parent to him than Gabriel is.”

Nathalie, who had been looking into the closet again, span around, her eyes wide. “That’s not funny Carmine.” Nathalie stated simply. “I’m an assistant, not his parent.”

Carmine and Gladiolus looked at eachother, than at Nathalie “Oh really? Tell me, who calls me every other week for articles about childhood development and mental health?” she asked, looking straight at Nathalie “Or at the beginning of the school year how you asked for any and all thesis papers and articles about the benefits of public schooling over homeschooling? How you fight tooth and nail just so that kid can have a few spare hours a week to hang out with friends and be a normal teenager?” Carmine looked at Nathalie with a softer, more understanding expression, even as the dark haired woman remained mostly expressionless. “Or for that article about the grieving process when Mme Agreste’s disappearance reached the one month mark, and you asked for therapist that specializes in it that knew how to handle children going through loss.”

Nathalie remained silent as she turned back around, going through the closet “... Why do you own so many cardigans?” she asked, clearly looking for a change of subject. Carmine rolled her eyes not saying anything.

“Wait, what is this?” Nathalie asked, bringing something out. Carmine looked over uninterested however her eyes widened at the garment that Nathalie was holding. 

Nathalie was holding a white, off the shoulder floor length dress that had a slit that went all the way to the mid thigh, the sleeves went all the way to the floor as well. The dress has ornate gold trip along the sleeves, and around the neckline, as well as a wide strip of it that went around the waist just below the bustline. Overall the dress had a mystical feel to it, as it should; it was one of the dresses that Carmine would only wear for rituals or for gatherings with other magical people. 

Carmine was usually careful with keeping her mundane clothes and her ritual clothes separate. Normal clothes in the closet, rituals ones go into a tote under her bed. It wasn’t that the clothes themselves were magical in anyway, but the dresses were so unlike anything Carmine wore that she just kept them separated so her friends wouldn’t ask questions about it. Carmine must had finished washing this dress and hang it up in her closet without even thinking about it. 

Nathalie was still looking at the dress, examining the inside of it “There’s no tag. Did you make this?” she asked, looking at her with an impressive expression.

“Yes.” Carmine stated truthfully. The red haired woman was no Marinette, but she knew how to work a sewing machine and had an abundance of patients for the craft. “I needed a dress for reasons.” 

Nathalie looked at her with a raised brow “... Reasons?” 

Carmine looked at her friend, her friend of almost twelve years who Carmine could tell anything, except for the fact that she was a mage. Not because she didn’t want to, or couldn’t but the fact that Carmine was waiting for the opportune moment… but this wasn't it.

“... I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Later when?” Nathalie asked, her eyebrows still raised. 

Carmine looked at her friend, thinking it over “... At Christmas.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.” Nathalie stated, walking over, still holding the dress “Your wearing this to the event.” 

Carmine looked at her with wide eyes “Wait, why?! This isn't a designer, and you said you didn’t want to give Gabriel more ammo than necessary!”

Nathalie rolled her eyes “Well, this isn't a designer but it IS gorgeous, and has excellent craftsmanship. If Gabriel cant see that then he really has lost his edge. Besides, it will look amazing on you.”

Carmine blinked, looking at her friend with a slight smirk “Flatterer.” 

Nathalie sighed, shaking her head as she leaned down and gave Carmine a soft kiss on the forehead, lingering a second or two longer than necessary before standing up and looking down at her friend. “Shut up, and show me where your shoes so I can see what I am working with.”

~~~~~~~

At any given time during the school day, nine times out of ten Carmine could be found in her office. The only exception to this was during an akuma attack, staff meeting or if she was going to get her kettle filled with water to make more tea. 

This wasn’t any of those times luckily, as she was at her desk, writing down some notes about the latest akuma victim when she felt SOMETHING enter her office. Carmine sat up straighter, her eyes narrowing at the door. One of the perks about being magical was that when someone entered her office (which she considered her domain) she could feel it. 

When the door didn’t open, Carmine stood up slightly, looking down at the ground only to scowl as she saw just WHO had entered her office. A small grey dwarf hamster; also known as Zeus, Adrien’s familiar. 

Carmine sat back down as the hamster climbed up her desk and crawled over the surface to stand at the edge looking at Carmine. Carmine just looked at the hamster with an unimpressed expression. “You know your not suppose to be away from Adrien for too long.” Carmine scolded him lightly, sipping her tea. 

A soft light emanated as the hamster turned into a fair skinned and blonde haired man, wearing black dress pants and a matching vest over top of a white button up shirt. Her wore a smirk on his face as his striking blue eyes seemed to shine with mischief. He was leaning against the edge of Carmine’s desk, right beside her, looking down at her in his usual mischievous way. “He’ll be fine for a couple of moments. You shouldn’t scowl my dear, its proven to lessen your mood… although your grumpy face is adorable.” he lightly teased. 

Carmine rolled her eyes, however a small smile was on her face. “What brings you here Zeus?” she asked him, sipping her tea. 

“I wanted to know about the laws regarding killing.” he asked in the same tone you would use to ask someone what the weather was like. 

Carmine froze for a moment, looking at the man who looked at her with the same smirk on his face, however Carmine could tell he was being serious. Carmine ran through a list of people he could mean, knowing that it had to be someone close to Adrien, since those were the only people Zeus could observe. After thinking about it for a moment, only one person came to mind.

“... It is still very illegal and Adrien would hate you.” Carmine said shortly. “He’s the only parent Adrien has left, even if he is a dick.”

Zeus rolled his eyes “Understatement. Besides, it’s not like anyone would notice right away, the damn reclus stays in his office most of the time. It’s no wonder Adrien is able to sneak around so much without anyone noticing.” 

“Zeus, you can’t kill Gabriel Agreste.” Carmine stated in a more firm tone, looking at the man in the eyes. “Even if you don’t like Gabriel, that doesn’t mean you can kill him.”

Zeus let out a soft snort “Oh, my dear, I most certainly CAN kill him.” he said, his eyes flashing something dangerous for a moment “However, Adrien told me not to. I was just wondering if it was still an actual law or not.” 

Carmine gave him an unimpressed look, sipping her tea “Not ‘your dear’.” she stated simply “And what exactly has Gabriel done to make you so upset?”

Zeus let out a soft hum, leaning back slightly as he looked up at the ceiling “Where to begin… He doesn’t keep his promises, he allows other people to make him uncomfortable for his so called ‘fashion’, the only time he pays attention to the kid is when he wants to scold him, he hasn’t taught Adrien that he is allowed to have boundaries, doesn’t even hug the poor kid and those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head.” he said, letting out a sigh “Honestly, I haven’t even been with him for two weeks and I’ve given the kid more physical affection his father has in the past month from my understanding.” 

Carmine looked at Zeus, a small sad smile on her face “... that still doesn’t mean you can kill him.”

“Not even lightly stabbing him?” he asked with a slight pout.

“Not even lightly stabbing him.” Carmine replied to him, pausing for a moment to think “... If, however, something were to happen to make his day more of a hinderance, like, say, his computer short circuiting, or his sketchbook falling into water, or other minor things that just make his day simply awfully, I wouldn’t complain.” Carmine said, off handedly, looking at Zeus with a slight smirk. 

Zeus returned the smirk, leaning down so that his face was barely two inches away from her face “Why, Carmine my dear, that is simply a wicked thought, don't you think?” he asked, his blue eyes dancing with a mischievous glint “I knew there was a reason I liked you~” he said, lightly kissing her jaw line.

Carmine simply brought her hand up, pushing his chin away as she looked at him with a raised brow “Didn’t Gladiolus give you a warning about kissing me?” she more told him than asked.

Zeus gave a coy smile “Oh, I thought that was only meant for when I kissed you on the lips! Terribly sorry!” he said, smirking “May I kiss you again~?” 

~~~~~~~

Later that night, in Carmine’s apartment, Gladiolus was not a happy familiar. He was pacing back and forth in the living room, clearly in a huff, as Carmine sat on the couch in her pajamas, writing away on a notepad. The ferret finally stopped pacing, looking at Carmine.

‘Why do you let him get away with it?!’ he asked for about the tenth time that night.

“Because he doesn’t mean anything by it Gladiolus. He’s a flirt, once he sees that he doesn’t get a reaction from me, he’ll stop.” Carmine stated simply, not looking up from her notepad as she wrote. “It was just a kiss on the jaw.”

‘Which is a very intimate place and you know that!’ the ferret chirped back. ‘This is why I should be with you at work! Than this kind of thing would happen-’

“Gladiolus.” Carmine interrupted him, looking at her familiar who looked straight back. “... This isn’t like when I was a teenager and Dustin Northcott wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’ve spoken with Adrien about Zeus and he has assured me that although Zeus is a flirt, and somewhat of a perve, that if he won’t cross any lines ones they are drawn, and currently he hasn’t crossed any of mine.” she told him. 

Gladiolus didn’t utter a word, simply slowly crawling over to and climbing onto the couch to sit next to her. Carmine gave him a soft smile, gently bringing her hand up to gently pet this side of his furry face with her knuckles “... I’m not some fragile flower that needs to be guarded Gladiolus. I know when I need you, you are just a thought away, you will always be the first one I call when I need help. No one could replace you.” she said, smiling softly. 

Gladio glanced at her, a flash of light occurring as he transformed into his human form. He gently linked fingers with her, brining her hand to his lips as he placed a soft kiss on it “I know… Still hate the guy.” 

Carmine smiled at him warmly “I know, but try to play nice.” Carmine insisted, the familiar only rolling his eyes as he placed his chin on her shoulder.

“What are you writing anyway?”

“Well, this is some new information that was gathered about Hawkmoth…”

[reelgalsofglasgow-blog]

The Golden Gals: The Reel Gals Academy Awards

The time has come. The envelopes have been sealed (with the right cards in each - we hope). We’ve been sewn into our best outfits. In lieu of an exuberant opening musical number featuring the ubiquitous James Corden, please enjoy a short clip of the best Oscars moment ever:

Honestly, if this year’s ceremony doesn’t open with just those fourteen seconds on a loop for a solid seven minutes, we’ll be sorely disappointed.

...

We know that all you’ll be thinking about now is that clip and basking in how gloriously weird it is… so maybe take a few minutes, watch that clip another eight or so times just to be sure; grab yourself a cuppa and settle in - because it’s time to announce our own Reel Gals Academy Award winners! The ‘Osc-hers’, if you will.

Ask any professional in TV - and they’ll tell you that the best entertainment always starts not with an idea or any spark of passion… but with a spreadsheet. Spreadsheets are the equivalent of Amino Acid for British TV programmes. Boring, but true. So we put together a spreadsheet listing each category and, depending on how many nominees, numbered them 1-5 (or 1-8 in Best Picture’s case) where 5 = favourite nominee. Then the magic spreadsheet worked out the average for us because damn, we’re not NASA.

With all our votes cast (unfortunately four of the categories had to drop as we just couldn’t get viewing copies in time - sorry Documentaries, Short Docs, Live Action Shorts and Foreign Language films!) our WhatsApp group chock full of planning for hectic last-minute trips to the cinema, trailer breakdowns, Spotify playlists, Adam Driver spam [Sorrrrry ~ Jen] and late night Netflix binges - we’re ready to present our own personal winners of each category - JUST in time for the ceremony itself.

Will we be as off-the-mark as the Academy not putting Emily Blunt up for a Lead Actress nomination for her stellar work in A Quiet Place? Or will it turn out that we are actually a collective of omniscient New Age Mystics, ordained by the gods of Hollywood themselves - imparting our sage wisdom and knowledge of the Future? Who can tell? Not us. (Or can we??)

So, get Red Carpet ready and join us for our 2019 Oscars picks and their close-fought runners-up, as voted for by us!

LEAD ACTOR

1. Christian Bale - Not gonna lie, it’s difficult to completely lavish Bale with praise considering that a major part of the prep in his transformation into the illusive Dick Cheney was “eating a LOT of pies”. If I was paid on the premise of my pie eating abilities, I’m pretty sure I would be up for an award too, just sayin’. Anyway, he does a pretty good damn job of depicting someone that no one really knows a great deal about in the first place, especially viewers outside the UK (I had to google him twice).  His flair for delivering an all consuming, intense and seminal performance is as apparent as ever despite the layers of latex and make up to contend with. Particularly during the heart attack scene in which I found myself worryingly questioning how much red meat and cream I’d had in the last month. It worth saying that his performance owes a great deal to the aforementioned hair and makeup team, whose work is nothing short of astonishing.  It’s literally the only Christian Bale film in which I’ve never been attracted to Christian Bale, for real.  Considering that his last Oscar win was in 2011 for The Fighter, another dramatic, transformative role then he might be in with a chance. The voters have shown time and time again that they award convincing portrayals of famous figures so I reckon It’s a toss up between Malek and Bale this year, although with utmost respect to Malek, I hope it’s the latter. [~Marie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Viggo Mortensen 

3. Rami Malek

LEAD ACTRESS

1. Olivia Colman - So, I always hear “Olivia Colman can do no wrong” and I have to admit that The Favourite is absolutely no exception. I first stumbled across her while heavily invested in Peep Show during my late teens, but it was really in Broadchurch that I fell in love with her as an actor (and while watching her acceptance speech for her recent BAFTA win, I fell in love with her as a person). I know that us Reel Gals were definitely a little divided regarding The Favourite as an overall film, but I don’t think any of us will have any major qualms if she picks up the Oscar this weekend. Her performance and portrayal of Queen Anne more than deserve it, and I stumbled around looking for the perfect phrase to express this embodiment, and her ability to make us empathize with this rather “brutish” historical figure. In the end what sums it up is Colman’s lack of fear to exhibit ‘grotesque charm’ balanced with her open vulnerability in the role of Queen Anne that (along with the other female-lead performances) kept the film afloat for me. [~ Kayleigh]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Yalitza Aparicio

3. Lady Gaga

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

1. Mahershala Ali - Ali, to me is one of those faces (handsome faces) that, when you see, you can't quite put your finger on and when you IMDb search him you find yourself saying “Oh yeah, that's what he's in”, and to me that includes the fact that I forget about his Academy Award winning performance in Moonlight.  After Green Book I don't think I'll be forgetting him again and us Gals believe he should be receiving his second Oscar tonight to join his BAFTA and Golden Globe for the performance.  His portrayal of Classical and Jazz pianist Dr Don Shirley is the perfect accompaniment and antithesis to the uncouth Tony Lip portrayed by Viggo Mortensen.  I don't know enough about Dr Don Shirley to say that Mahershala embodies him, but I don't think that matters as much as the feeling watching his performance gives the viewer.  You can feel his frustration with Tony during their road trip, you can feel his loneliness in the hotels at night, you can feel his passion for music and playing the piano, you can feel his anger at how he is treated by the ignorant white southerners purely based on the colour of his skin and you can feel his love in the tear inducing final scene.  Any performance that can make me empathise with the emotions of an American male, mid-30s, black, upper-class, talented performer trying to overcome racism and ignorance in the American Deep South in the 60s (and if you hadn't guessed I fit none of those categories), is a powerful performance indeed.  Good luck Mahershala!   [~Robyn]

JOINT RUNNERS UP:

2. Richard E Grant / Adam Driver

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

1. Regina King - This may well have been the easiest category for me to vote on. (Even though I actually felt that this year showcased a whole lot of strongly-delivered performances, by so many talented women.) Regina King - wow - what a badass lady right there. I thought that the acting from all parties in If Beale Street Could Talk was so incredibly sincere, but especially that of King's. Together with the colour palette, soundtrack and cinematography, I was honestly so moved by the whole film (and am *entirely gutted* that it's been overshadowed by its competitors). I have only one complaint about IBSCT and that is that Regina King should have got more screen time. Everything I've seen King in I've loved and I have to admit that I was just happy to see this nomination, let alone think that her performance in IBSCT was flawless and even although she has some tough competition, that she fully deserves to win the Oscar. If Beale Street Could Talk represents love, passion, strength and power, whilst addressing themes such as race and equality - everything this film stands for, Regina King embodies in herself as a person and channels in her character, Sharon Rivers. It was refreshing to watch King and just believe her, believe in her character and believe in her as woman and a mother. You will forever be one of my heroes Regina, thank-you for sharing your talent. [~Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Rachel Weisz

3. Emma Stone

BEST DIRECTOR

1. Spike Lee - I’m almost pained to admit that my first experience of a Spike Lee film only came about during my 3rd year of studying film at uni (for shame).  The module was ‘The Importance of Soundtrack’ and in particular, the inclusion of pop, hip-hop & R&B music to accentuate social commentary and help establish mood, setting and underlying tension that any director worth their salt can’t express through dialogue alone.  I remember leaving the tiny Gilmore cinema on a Tuesday afternoon having watched Do the Right Thing and feeling unusually energised, awake and slightly angry -  but in a good way. Cut to roughly 7 years later, I’m leaving Cineworld, on my 29th birthday, no less,  after a screening of BlacKkKlansman, still vibrating with anger and frustration 5 minutes after the film ended. It’s the most powerful last 10 minutes of a film, but it’s not Spike Lee’s best. Nor do I think it’s the best film of the year (although I’m possibly in the minority of my Reel Gals peers in saying that). However, in light of a barrage of recent injustices in the US  - social and political -  it cannot be considered anything less than a vital and timely film which (despite its shortcomings) deserves all the Oscar attention it gets. Lee is a complete master in his unique ability to inject comedy and style into a hard-hitting subject matter such as blind, racial hatred. Since next year will mark the 30th year since Lee’s first infamous Oscar snub, I feel like it’s only right that the academy should Do the Right Thing (heh, you see what I did there..?) and honour him for managing to stay angry (or #woke, if you prefer) and keeping us angry - in a good way. [~Marie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Alfonso Cuarón

3. Yorgos Lanthimos

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - If you were to pause this film on any frame, you could print it and hang it on your wall. Every single frame is a work of art. The Best Animated Feature category was extremely strong this year with the usual gorgeous Pixar and Disney outings that ordinarily would have snatched the title as they have done in previous years. Such is the power and unique brilliance of this film to take on the two Animation behemoths at their best and come out on top. Boasting twice the normal number of animators (177!!) to bring to life Phil Lord and Christopher Miller’s vision for Miles Morales’ colourful and diverse world, it utilises a glorious twist of new and old forms of animation as well as ideas from print - halftones, hatching and overprinting as well as inserting comic cells and onomatopoeic graphics (“THWIP!” and “BAGEL!” are particular favourites). Not only have we mixtures of frame-rates for characters within the same frame (Whaaaaat?!) to denote Miles’ initial clumsiness versus the other Spider-People’s practised grace; but we’re treated to mixtures of graphic styles with Manga, Noir and classic American cartoon for each of the Multi-Verse Spiders - which shouldn’t work, but does here so, SO well. It’s easy to understand how 10 seconds of final cut content took an entire year for 177 people to create. Lovely little touches like characters stepping into Noir’s space being affected by his immediate ‘windy’ environment and the hand-drawn overlays and inserted comic style frames make this the most exciting, innovative and beautiful-looking animated film not only of 2018 but we believe also of the last decade. It is a true cinematic experience and one that not only deserves the Oscar, but also deserves recognition for changing the landscape of what’s possible for film animation. Also, not going to lie - a lot of us came out of the film inexplicably attracted to Peter B Parker and wish he was real. We would buy that man as many bagels as he wants, for sure. [~Jen]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Isle of Dogs

3. Ralph Breaks the Internet

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

1. Bao - Pixar shorts. They are great. One of the Reel gooduns is, Bao. It’s kinda silly, it’s a bit weird, but ultimately it does what Pixar does best. It taps into very touching, emotional aspects of the human condition. Bao is a 2018 computer-animated short film written and directed by Domee Shi and produced by Pixar Animation Studios. It was released with Incredibles 2 on June 15, 2018. It’s the shortest film of the shorts-lineup. Focusing on a middle aged mother is a wonderful perspective to choose. The film is about an ageing Chinese-Canadian mother, suffering from empty nest syndrome. She receives a rather unusual second chance at motherhood when she makes a baozi dumpling that comes to life as a boy. The film takes you by surprise at several points, after being lulled into a place of “OK, maybe this human baozi is something I can get on board with”, but it ends on a beautiful note. So, as Danny Devito once put it: “I like it, I love it, I want more of it”. [~ Caroline]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Late Afternoon

3. One Small Step

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

1. BlacKkKlansman - Last year Get Out won the award for best original screenplay for its haunting, hilarious, terrifying, and almost ridiculously scary tale. Some thought this tale of fiction was too simple in its over-the-topness, but the message it wanted to pass was far from it. This year, the equally unbelievable and extremely important story of racism and bigotry comes in an adapted script form based on the true reports of police officer and KKK infiltrator Ron Stallworth. Released as a memoir in 2014 by Stallworth, screenwriters David Rabinowitz and Charlie Wachtel were shocked to find out that no studios even bothered buying the rights to this unbelievable tale and independently adapted the work. It’s not just a brilliant story cause of what happened. It’s not just an amazing comedy cause of the clever dialogue. Its ingenuity, lies on how contemporary this ‘period’ piece reads. From dialogue that feel as if you’re reading the latest Trump supporter’s tweets, to the unbelievable and unapologetic beliefs some have and march for even today. And in case quotes from the Grand Duke of the KKK like ‘I just want to make America great’ didn’t give the film a terrifying enough case of the ‘history is repeating itself’, the brilliant end scene sure does. Thank you for your public service, one day *hopefully* we’ll learn from past mistakes. [~ Lia]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Can You Ever Forgive Me?

3. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

1. Green Book - Well, I can genuinely say that Green Book is one of the most beautifully written and delivered films I have been blessed with watching at the cinema in a long time. Based on a true story, it invites the audience to join a world class African-American pianist and his Italian-American driver from the Bronx, on a concert tour of the Deep South in the 60′s - a difficult storyline, fraught with potential pitfalls, executed in a gentle and respectful way. Named after a legitimate travel guide that listed businesses that would accept African-American custom, Green Book confronts infuriating themes such as racism, segregation, class and sexuality – all of which are still issues today. The story encapsulates the growth of an unlikely partnership between the musician Dr Shirley (Mahershala Ali) and Tony Lip (Viggo Mortensen) – quick note to talk about how outstanding, heart-warming and believable their performances were – as with time, the begin to respect, understand and care for each other. [Obviously there are questions about why Green Book would frame a story about racism in the Deep South around a white man’s experience - and have the man of colour take a back seat. Literally. My takeaway from the film was mostly that people aren’t defined by their class as much as they aren’t by their colour - just because Dr Shirley is black does not mean he ought to fall into tired old stereotypes - just because Tony is poor (by comparison) and working class, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the ‘perceived spoils of the upper classes’ - classical music or any of the rest of it. Dr Shirley expands Tony’s experience and understanding with regards race - while Tony expands Dr Shirley’s in class. In a post-Brexit and Trump world, where working class people are feeling increasingly marginalised and are partaking in scapegoating of people of colour as a result, perhaps Green Book (however problematic it may still be) presents a message that might get through to those people in today’s political climate? But of course, all of this is my opinion as a lower middle-class white lassie from the UK. ~Jen] 

As such, Peter Farrelly, Brian Currie and Nick Vallelonga (notably Tony Lip’s son) presents us with a rather Hollywood (in other words: soft) version of this story, resulting in a mixed response for this film (not from us down at Reel Gals HQ, we loved it), however, he tries to carefully balance out the hard-hitting, dark scenarios that our duo face on the road with the cleverly written dialogue and characterisation running into some really special, incredibly warm moments of character-driven humour.  

All in all, I would say Green Book is a cinematically stunning piece of work as well as a story of growth and respect; a feel good film that deserves the Oscar (I'm going to give Roma a quick S/O, as I do believe that it it too would be a worthy winner). I can also say that Farrelly really surprised me after some of the (in my opinion) trash that he’s previously had his name on (Dumb and Dumber, I’m looking at you). You will leave the film feeling warm, with faith in cinema and the inability to stop thinking about how much you want to fold up an entire pizza and eat it like a sandwich – I know I did. [~ Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Roma

3. Vice

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

1. Roma -  Rumour has it that the revolution will not be televised, and up until recently, the category for Cinematography was almost relegated to the ad-breaks. Why John Bailey, why? Thankfully, after a public ballyhoo, we will be able to see the award presented via live stream (as well as Editing, Live-Action Short, and Makeup and Hairstyling). So why is Cinematography so vital to us?

 Let’s go back forty-eight years for a moment. Director, Norman Jewison once talked about how he created the warm, earthy haze of Fiddler on the Roof (1971) with the director of photography, Oswald Morris. They lined a lens with a pair of brown nylons seen on a woman on set (hello, 1970’s Hollywood!). Though Jewison shrugged this story off as a lucky spur-of-the-moment decision, it was made and carried out to stunning effect. Watch it and see. Almost half-a century later, and cinematography has continued to thrive in ingenuity and style.

 The Reel Gals have come together to appreciate Alfonso Cuarón’s, cinematographic mastery in Roma. Originally, Emmanuel Lubezki was set to take on this task, but there was an availability clash. Cuarón took over as well as writing the screenplay and directing the film. Lubezki remained an influence to Cuarón who said in an interview with Variety that Lubezki’s voice was in the back of his mind as he worked.

Roma is a semi-autobiographical take on Cuarón's upbringing in the Colonia Roma neighbourhood of Mexico City. Cuarón said of his stylistic choices:

 “I would say it’s the ghost of the present that is visiting the past, without getting involved, just observing, not trying to make a judgment or commentary.”

 With this in mind, I can see why he shot it in black and white. Actually, he shot it in colour with the Alexa 65, then paired it back to black-and-white, like a photo-realistic painter. The effect of this is that the film is crisp, and each scene seems almost 3D. When you take the colour away, other senses become heightened. The sounds in Roma, for example, are so much more present. The less you see, the more you fill in with your mind. Strangely, things seem more vivid in black and white.

 I recommend this article as it gives much more information about the visual decisions which were made. All I can say at this point is that as viewers, we intuitively respond to what has been crafted for us, and this craft should be celebrated. Alfonso Cuarón has given us an incredible film which (like Fidder) will be talked about by new generations of Reel Gals in another fifty years.  [~ Caroline]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Never Look Away

3. A Star is Born / The Favourite

BEST FILM EDITING

1.Vice - Of all of the films shortlisted for the Oscars, one has stood out as being one with as many ideas laid out in the edit as it was in the writing and shooting of the piece. Hank Corwin makes use of syncopation like the greatest of musicians - very frequently going places creatively you would never expect… cuts to black; use of archive; the visuals quite often were at odds with the sound, but in the best possible ways. It is frantic, meta, fourth-wall busting, juxtaposition-filled mania with a persistent overarching feeling of extreme unease and increasing dread - perfectly fitting for Cheney’s journey into Power.[~ Jen]

RUNNERS UP:

2. BlacKkKlansman

3. Bohemian Rhapsody

BEST SOUND MIXING

1. Bohemian Rhapsody - So quickly, for those of you (like myself before casting my votes) who didn't know the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing, Sound Editing is the creation and use of sound effects, Sound Mixing is the overall use of soundtrack including music, dialogue, sound effects, the whole shebang really.  Overall, although I thoroughly enjoyed Bohemian Rhapsody, I'm not sure I agree with the amount of award attention this movie is getting.  Maybe being a big Queen fan the movie left me feeling like it was mostly a celebration of them as a band and lacked any profound revelation.  However what can be truly marvelled at in this movie is the recreation of Freddie Mercury's performances; credit where it's due, Rami Malek did a great job of becoming him on screen; but the reproduction of that incredible voice and Queen’s Greatest Hits is what really makes the film what I would call “The Queen Experience”.  After seeing the movie and rediscovering an old love by listening to the soundtrack on repeat I noticed that it included live tracks and demos, and doing a bit of digging I discovered that for the concert scenes they used the real live sound from the concerts being recreated, in fact these sequences were chosen around the choice of recording (although don't quote me on that, my sources are from the internet, could be fake news).  Also, to make the Freddie Mercury voice perfect some of the recordings were mixed with Canadian Christian Rock artist Marc Martel whose voice is so similar you can barely tell the difference.  All of this attention to detail along with the cinematic surround sound effects means that for millennials like us, unfortunately too young to have seen Freddie perform live ourselves, can feel like we were actually at Live Aid (sorry Adam Lambert, you don't quite cut it).  That sounds award worthy to me. [~Robyn]

RUNNERS UP:

2. A Star is Born

3. First Man

BEST SOUND EDITING

1. First Man - As I mentioned above, for those of you who don't know, the Sound Editing category celebrates the creation and use of Sound Effects.  There are certain members of the Reel Gals that would disagree with me on my analysis of First Man - I found it boring and too long and to be 90% Ryan Gosling not really acting and mostly just being mopey (and this is coming from someone who loves Ry-Go as much as the next girl).  However I can appreciate that creating the illusion of space travel relies heavily on sound effects, on this I cannot fault the film.  Any scene that features people in the cockpit of a space rocket or bouncing about the face of the moon (spoiler - Neil Armstrong is the “first man” to take one small step for man and one… blah blah blah you know the rest), is beautifully soundtracked with what I imagine since I have never been to the moon, realistic sound effects. [Like Pavlov’s Dog - if I ever hear that intense rattling from this version of the cockpit of Apollo 11 again, I will take a serious whitey. ~Jen]  There are no dodgy Wilhelm Screams during the upsetting cockpit fire scene or Star Trek-like door “wooshes” here.  Now maybe if these types of sounds had been included I would have been more entertained, but the sound effects were so realistic and in the moon landing scene almost beautiful.  So well done to the sound team for keeping me too firmly in reality with this film. [~Robyn]

RUNNERS UP:

2. A Quiet Place

3. Bohemian Rhapsody

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

1. Mary Poppins Returns - I thought it was impossible to make a new Mary Poppins film and that attempting to remake a classic was just Hollywood proving it had run out of ideas but in the case of Mary Poppins Returns’ production designer John Myhre strikes a fine balance of appealing to the old eyes who watched the original and the fresh new ones experiencing this story for the first time. If you’re the one wearing the nostalgia glasses then each and every set in this film will make you feel like the kid you were all those years ago - from the cobbled streets of the reimagined 1930s London to the whimsical wonder that is the upside down house. This is where Myhre’s talent shines as he pays homage to the old while never quite replicating it. The house of 17 Cherry Tree Lane still looks and feels as if it has been lifted from Emile Kuri’s original designs but feels reimagined, the fingerprints of Michael Banks life as an adult are prevalent in every room - especially in the attic. Taking a trip up there feels like throwing yourself back in time filled with a clutter of old easter eggs that would thrill any fan of the first film - you don’t have to look far to spot the blocks used by Julie Andrews in ‘Spoonful of Sugar’ or the sash worn by Jane’s mum and of course the most notable throwback of all - the kite. In the end, this is a real house for a real man, in real depression who has lived a very real life but then cue Mary Poppins. The drab, brown and grey colour palette across the set bursts into colour as her mere presence turns this gritty reality into a magical fantasy. The mix of fantasy and reality blends seamlessly together so much so that even the expertly recreated scenes like Big Ben’s tower have a flare of magic to them.

I hadn’t realised until the credits started to roll that somewhere along the way I had taken my nostalgia glasses off and started to view this film as its own entity. Through beautifully crafted sets that meld seamlessly into the classic stylings of the animations, meticulous in detail, it captures the spirit of its predecessor but has an identity very much of its own. So, now I am prepared to eat my earlier retort and believe in the words of Mary Poppins herself - “everything is possible, even the impossible.”  [~Isla]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Black Panther

3. The Favourite

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

1. Shallow - A Star is Born - I have to admit, I’m rather gutted that All The Stars missed out on our number one spot (thanks Gals) but Shallow undoubtedly is a bit of a banger. “Is there somethin’ else you’re searching for” - Shallow poetically (when I say poetically, I mean pretty darn obviously) offers the audience an insight to both Ali and Jackson’s character growth throughout the film: Ali, looking to get more out of her life than it was offering her and Jackson, his deterioration in light of his dying career (is that a spoiler? Surely not!). Don’t get me wrong, I loved A Star is Born and genuinely think Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper *pauses for Bradley Cooper’s voice* have an undeniable connection, the way they perform together - both in this song and the film as a whole - left me with chills (an opinion shared by fewer than half of the Reel Gals) [I may have hated the film, but that won’t stop me beltin’ this mother out at the karaoke ~ Jen] - Shallow will live on and I am sure will be leaving with Academy award, however in my opinion, it’s not particularly inspiring or lyrically imaginative. Still love you, Gaga. [~ Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. All The Stars - Black Panther

3. The Place Where Lost Things Go - Mary Poppins Returns

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

1. BlacKkKlansman by Terence Blanchard - BlacKkKlansman marks the 19th project and 30th year of a Spike Lee/Terence Blanchard partnership and wowzers! Blanchard has composed a score that beautifully enhances the exquisite direction of Lee, capturing a sound that really drives the audience’s emotion throughout the film. Although I found it almost impossible to choose between all the nominations for Best Score, Blanchard has stolen top spot at the Reel Gals’ Academy Awards and to be honest, rightfully so! Terence Blanchard uses “his passion and desire to serve the story” when it comes to anything he composes, which is just one of the reasons he is fully deserved of the Oscar when it comes to the BlacKkKlansman score. He pulls in influences of Hendrix with the electric guitar (which in my opinion really captures Ron Stallworth’s character as a whole) and couples it with the power of brass, a combination that successfully delivers both chilling and comedic moments – alluding to what the audience should be feeling, rather than being on the nose. Terence Blanchard had the responsibility of composing for an unbelievable and haunting TRUE story and respectfully does so, joining Spike Lee in telling the a story of hate from the 70s and leaving the audience with the hard-hitting truths that we still deal with similar hate, even now. [~ Katie]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Mary Poppins Returns by Marc Shaiman & Scott Wittman

3. Black Panther by Ludwig Goransson

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIR

1. Vice - Makeup and hair are such a crucial part of building the characters we see on screen - they help the actors embody the person they’re playing (literally!). The outcry when the Academy dared to suggest that they might bump this and other critical categories (Cinematography and Editing to name a couple for gawd’s sake - HOW DO YOU MAKE A FILM WITHOUT THOSE??!) to being hidden in the ad breaks was so vehement - and rightly so. I don’t know how many times I walked past the poster and ad screens for Vice and had next to no recognition at all for any of the main cast. When I eventually read the names under the pictures, I remember very loudly going “WHAT?! WHAAAAAAT?! all the way down the escalator in our local Cineworld (my partner can attest to his embarrassment at my outburst)… Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell, Amy Adams… and then we have Christian “So Method” Bale. 

Some people might argue that his transformation was mostly down to, as Marie suggests in our Lead Actor category, his increased pie intake and his unmatched ability to give himself over completely to the character.  But without the design and hard work every day of Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe and Patricia Dehaney, he would have just been “Thicc, Evil Christian Bale” - not an almost-indistinguishable-from-the-real-thing embodiment of political monster Dick Cheney. 

There is an absolutely excellent article I found in which Cannom talks website Vox through his design and daily process and it’s frankly incredible. < find it here >  More incredible still, once he had a cast of Bale’s head (whom he says was wary of the process of SFX makeup and prosthetics as he hadn’t done it before) he only had two weeks to design and build the various ages of Cheney onto Bale’s very differently-shaped head. The quality of the skin (given a sweaty shine by an application of KY Jelly as a final step to the process, hilariously) is impeccable; the build of the silicone to completely change the shape of Bale’s face is grotesquely gorgeous. Across the board this is one of the most impressive examples of practical makeup and hair SFX I’ve ever seen - and in an age of CGId top lips to remove stubborn moustaches and digital de-ageing processes getting more and more advanced, this film proves the practical way is as strong and vital as ever and fully deserving of taking centre stage - on air - at the Oscars. [~Jen]

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

1. Black Panther - I couldn’t possibly pretend to be an expert on costume design or on the numerous African Tribal influences that have given these costumes their heart and soul. But, I can say that while watching Black Panther I was utterly blown away with the attention to detail, combined with the bold bursts of colour and creativity. I also can’t explain my sheer relief and empowerment of watching fierce female characters kick ass without the carbon copy, over sexualized outfit with matching heels. Now I don’t want my first blog post to cause too much of a divide, but I’m definitely referring to my eye roll during Wonder Woman right after I spotted those raised golden beauties... and just for the record, I actually loved Wonder Woman (and I love heels) but it was just so refreshing, and practical, without losing any of the superhero escapism we all long for.  The head costume designer Ruth E. Carter absolutely fulfilled all my ‘tribal-warrior-female-fantasy’ dreams (is that a category from RuPaul’s Drag Race?) and I left the cinema envious of her talent. Some of the costumes were literally pieces of wearable art and will no doubt be celebrated as such. [~ Kayleigh]

JOINT RUNNERS UP:

2. The Favourite / Mary Poppins Returns

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

1. Ready Player One - This was one of the most difficult categories to vote for. All five films brought amazing innovations in the art of cinema and definitely deserve to be recognised for them and you know what, Reel Gals will! First Man combined a mixture of diverse sources for its aesthetic; visual effects, special effects, and even archival footage of the NASA launch. Solo gave us the perfect visual effect adaptation of the legend that Star Wars fans everywhere know as the 12 parsecs run. Christopher Robin created a photoreality mixed with shot on location footage so good, that its parody Trainspotting mashup video attests to its VFX perfection. Avengers: Infinity War had two different effects teams (TWO!) building the most realistic performance from Brolin’s onset one and could possibly land Marvel with their first ever effects Oscar. However, Ready Player One, created an entire virtual world that immersed characters and viewers alike by combining effects with animation. Remember The Overlook Hotel part from The Shining in the film? The blood? The scary twins and old lady turned into a zombie? That’s right, hand them that award now and then in true Mean Girls fashion, break it up and share with the rest. You’re all VFX queens. [~Lia]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Avengers: Infinity War

3. First Man

Which leaves us with just one more award to lay out… it’s the big’un. Can you guess what it might be, from our voting habits above?

BEST PICTURE

1. BlacKkKlansman - Winning our Best Picture vote - based on a true story, BlacKkKlansman is a spectacularly timely look at institutional and societal racism and bigotry - holding a mirror up squarely in the face of modern audiences. Set against the backdrop of the Ku Klux Klan’s ‘organised hate’ in 1970’s Colorado, it is equal parts horrifying and hilarious; poignant and relevant. The performances are compelling and perfectly balanced - most notably, the relationship between buddy cops John David Washington’s ‘Ron Stallworth’ and Adam Driver’s ‘Flip Zimmerman’ is nuanced and brimming with mutual respect, both for one another in character and as actors. The two have spectacular comic timing - but they both also boast the finely-honed acting chops to carry the Singularity-strength gravity of the themes presented by Ron Stallworth’s incredible true story. The beautifully-composed shots and off-kilter score compliment Spike Lee’s characteristically brave and politically-biting choices as director, exemplified particularly in the closing scene of his latest Joint, which (after a moment of levity and possibly the biggest laugh of the film) is affecting, desperately sad and deeply terrifying - and will stay with you for a long time.     [~ Jen]

RUNNERS UP:

2. Green Book

3. Roma

And that’s that. The audience’s sugar levels are low… The ‘get off the stage’ music has started playing… and the awards organisers are threatening to cut to an ad break. But before they can send the heavies onto the stage to forcibly remove us - it’s NOT OVER YET - *grabs microphone*  here are some nominations we would have added:

BEST PICTURE: First Man [Genuinely thought this was a shoe-in! ~Jen]

BEST SONG: Sunflower by Post Malone & Swae Lee for Spider-Verse [Honestly, the entire score for Spider-Verse was spectacular and I'm gutted it didn't get a nomination either, although it was tough enough as it is for best original score, as all nominations are stunning - BUT BEST SONG, where is this nomination? And WHY, GOD WHHHY is ‘I'll Fight’ on there? It genuinely made me want to pull out my eyeballs ~ Katie] [Couldn’t agree more. Ruth Bader Ginsberg deserves more than this old-fashioned early 2000s-style credit-roller ballad. You’re better than this, J-Hud. ~ Jen]

LEAD ACTRESS: Emily Blunt for A Quiet Place

LEAD ACTRESS: Viola Davis for Widows 

LEAD ACTOR: John David Washington for BlacKkKlansman [This omission I think has slightly tarnished Driver’s well-deserved nomination for Best Supporting; with a lot of people asking why the ‘white guy is the only one to receive an acting nom from a film about a black man’s struggles with the KKK’. I would suggest that Driver’s character Flip, as DJW’s character Ron states: “Also has skin in the game”, being Jewish - it’s hardly him doing a ‘Scarlet Johansson’, given the point of the story is that he’s Ron’s proxy and crucial to his takedown of the chapter. But then it *is* difficult to argue that the intentions of the Academy were (whether subconsciously or not) entirely well-intentioned on the matter of not including Washington in the nominations. ~ Jen]

LEAD ACTOR: Steve Carell for Beautiful Boy

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Steve Carell (again - what a year he’s had!) for Vice

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Timotheé Chalamet for Beautiful Boy

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Danai Gurira for Black Panther

VISUAL EFFECTS: Welcome to Marwen [This!! ~ Kayleigh]

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: Whitney [I would also say the editing of this was fantastic, if it's good enough for the Edinburgh Film Festival then it’s good enough for an Oscar consideration ~Robyn]  

And despite the outwardly more-diverse-than-usual (which still isn’t saying much) nominee list this year thanks to an extremely influential #OscarsSoWhite campaign and hopefully the beginnings of a turning of the tide for Hollywood (we hope - it's about bloody time something improved) - it seems the Academy aren’t quite there with equality and representation yet...

BEST DIRECTOR: A woman. Any women, for goodness’ sake. It’s 2019! A nod to Glasgow-born Lynne Ramsay for You Were Never Really Here, Marielle Heller for Can You Ever Forgive Me? and Debra Granik for Leave No Trace. Just in case the Academy didn’t think they had enough choice! [~Marie]

At time of writing, the other main awards events for the year have been and gone - and the differences in nominations and winners laid out by the Oscars, BAFTAs, Globes and Critics’ Choice nominees lists vs the reality of women’s film work in 2018 are still quite stark - specifically in contrast with events like the Independent Spirit Awards - (admittedly films like Green Book and blockbusters etc wouldn’t qualify) - who lavished their awards last night on films like If Beale Street Could Talk; You Were Never Really Here, Leave No Trace and Sorry to Bother You - notably with many of the winners crying out for more female representation in the nominations for Directing and other categories in film in general.

2018 was the strongest year for representation of women in film yet - with places like the BFI Film Festival presenting more female-led films than ever before in its history and how vociferous the support is getting for equal opportunity and recognition - importantly not only from women - in calling out these omissions-by-gender, here’s hoping the Academy will catch on. Eventually.

But until that time… thanks for joining us for our little pre-Oscars ceremony and our first proper blog! Cheers for reading, sharing and any hits of the like button are greatly appreciated… Thank you to the Academy… we’d also like to thank our parents, everyone who believed in us, Adele Dazeem, dogs (all of them) for being excellent...

*Rugby-tackled by security guards and dragged off-stage*

Xx ~ The Reel Gals

(Find us on instagram: reel_gals_of_glasgow | twitter: ReelGalsGlasgow)

[thelovre]

Taylor,

I can’t believe Reputation is already one year old. This is such an important era for me. It started out really bad for me personally. I had so much stress and anxiety due to school and the exams that were coming up. I didn’t feel like myself anymore, I was overly tired, moody, sad. Just not at all what I usually am. Meanwhile, my anxiety was eating me up. However, nobody suspected a thing, because I was being happy around others, but once I was alone I just broke down. It was so bad. During these times the thing I would turn to was your music. It was what kept me going, what would cheer me up. I found comfort in certain songs, especially. Whenever I was having panic attacks, I would put on New Year’s day because the soft and calm tones would help me calm down. Delicate and Dancing With Our Hands Tied helped me during times of bad anxiety or insecurity.

However, these are not the things I think of anymore when I think of these songs. Because by some kind of miracle, I graduated. I passed my exams and I graduated. After that, I felt like I needed some time for myself, so I decided on a gap year. In August I moved to Spain for a month. I lived with a Spanish family in the Pyrenees and taught the kids English. After that month I moved to Greece, for 1,5 months. Here, I finally was able to really settle down. I had nothing on my mind and was able to really calm down. Though it may sound cliche, it was truly where I found myself again. My usually happy and positive character came forth again and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt happy. I didn’t have some voice in the back of my mind telling me something bad was going to happen to me soon anymore.

I was doing better than I ever was.

Reputation has been the soundtrack to this journey. When I think of Reputation, I think of all the good things that have happened to me. Certain moments are brung back while listening to certain songs. When I think of New Year’s Day, I think of the night I took a walk on the beach in Greece, at 1AM. When I think of Delicate, I think of me and my mom driving around in the car, blasting the song as loudly as possible, screaming the words. When I think of Look What You Made Me Do and Ready For It I think of the vacation I took with my family in Greece during the time those songs dropped. I vividly remember the exact spots I was in when I heard those songs for the first time. When I think of Dress I think of the time I was standing on top of a mountain I just climbed, looking out over the sea and the pink sky because the sun was slowly setting. When I think of Gorgeous I think of the hike I took in Spain, wind in my hair, surrounded by fields filled with beautiful yellow flowers. When I think of Call It What You Want I think of sunlight on my face, sounds of waves crashing onto the beach in the background, smile on my face. When I think of Dancing With Our Hands Tied I think of a dip in the freezing ocean, snorkeling in the midst of all these gorgeous fish, and hurrying out to lay in the sun and warm up. When I think of King Of My Heart I think of the moment my plane took off, when I left the country all by myself for the very first time. When I think of This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, I think of the road trip I took with my mom, and especially the “and here’s to my mama” part that we always scream at the top of our lungs.

This era, I also got to witness my first ever show of yours life, and let me tell you, it was even better than I thought it was going to be. The Reputation Tour was such an incredible experience for me. In December I got tickets to the first Dublin show. My angel of a best friend wanted to come along with me, which was honestly so sweet of him. We flew from Amsterdam to Dublin on June 14th. Our show was on Friday the 15th. I danced and sang my ass off, it was so much fun. I finally experienced what it feels like to dance like nobody is watching, because that’s what I was doing all night. So much so, that I kind forgot to look at the stage at times, but luckily my friend filmed my favourite songs for me. That day I also got to meet Anni ( @newromannitics ). We originally met through an instagram group chat but remained friends long after that chat died out. That day was the first time seeing each other in real life, it was so wonderful. She’s the sweetest human being on this planet. I can honestly say that that whole day was one of the best days in my life.

Every song on Reputation takes me back to a happy place and manages to put a smile on my face. It’s got such a special place in my heart. This album has helped me grow and learn. It’s been there by my side during the hard times, it has helped me keep going and reminded me not to give up, and then it was there for me when everything was over. I’m so glad I’m finally able to say that I’m doing better than I ever was, and I’m so happy you can, too. You honestly deserve the world and I’m so glad you found the right people to share your life with. Thank you so much for being so honest and truthful in your songwriting, because your songs mean the world to me. I love you so much.

Xx Inge

[ylove-bandaesthetics]

My Brother’s Best Friend! (Brendon Urie/Josh Dun Imagine)

Requested by anon! 

Sigh, I don’t even know what the hell the time is right now, but according to my clock that is currently sitting on my nightstand it is a quarter passed (Y/N) go to sleep already!! But unfortunately, that is pretty much mission impossible for me at the moment. You want to know why? Well, you probably don’t, in fact you probably have something much more better to do than to hear me bitch about this amazingly gorgeous rock star that is sleeping under the same roof as me as we speak, and how I am going completely nuts because I have feelings for him, strong feelings actually, I mean why even try to hide it right? You know what? I apologize, but I’m gonna go ahead and ramble on anyway, because obviously keeping all of this bottled up inside of me and tossing and turning like a idiot in bed clearly isn’t helping me in this situation.

Alright, where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start off with his name, which would be the obvious thing to do…. His name is Brendon, that’s right, I’m talking about THE Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco! One of the most awesome bands in the world which is also personally my number one favourite, I can assure anybody that I know every single song of theirs by heart. And now that his awesome name is out there in the open, I’m pretty certain absolutely NOBODY can blame me for feeling this way.

Now you might be wondering how someone as sexy, funny, and down to Earth guy as Brendon is in my house…just down the hall from my bedroom may I quickly add… The answer to that question is quite simple, when you have a rock star BROTHER who so happens to be a world famous drummer for an amazing band called 21 Pilots, it’s pretty much easy to meet very important and amazing people. And the way I met this very important man, I will truly never forget… I feel like it was only yesterday when Josh, whom I like to consider more of my twin than my older brother because we are too much alike, came home from his big tour with Tyler, that featured Brendon’s band….

*FLASHBACK*

I had gotten a call the previous night from Tyler saying that they were on their way home, that they did their very last show from their almost year long tour and it was the biggest one yet, and as always he started going into detail with me about how epic it was, I swear I consider Tyler to be the second brother that I always wanted, well he sure as hell acts like it overall but I actually love it, he’s more understanding than Josh that’s for sure, Josh could get so overprotective with me almost all the time and it really gets under my skin. Although I couldn’t help but feel so much excitment in hearing the awesome news, lord knows I almost never get to see these guys, sure sometimes they would take me to their shows and I would watch them in action from back stage, but that’s only if they’re playing in our hometown, I often wish that I could go on tour with them, just being able to go to different cities all around the world sounds like the biggest dream come true, but unfortunately with Josh I would not have the greatest time anyway. He would be too busy the entire time watching out for boys talking to me and trying to get me to go out with them, and telling them “Hey, take your peverted ass somewhere else!”

Don’t get me wrong now, I love my blood so much, I would actually take a bullet for that guy, but sometimes I just seriously want to kick him in the balls so hard that he ends up turning into my sister. Anyways, I don’t want to waste too much time just ranting about him, let me cut to when I actually got the honor to meet Brendon. The time was approximately four thirty in the morning when I heard the loud knocking on my front door, no joke I jumped out of bed even though I was deeply half asleep and pretty much stumbled everywhere as if I had one too many, including being the clutz that I was born to be and hitting my face on the doorframe like an idiot. Thankfully that helped me fully wake up though and I made it down the stairs without getting badly injured. “Oh my God Joshy!! I missed you!!” I squealed as I ran to the door, but when I opened it, the man standing on the other side was certainly not my bro… “Hi there.” Brendon nicely greeted as soon as his eyes caught sight of me, standing with his luggages beside him.

I cannot even begin to describe how heavenly he looked, the way he was standing perfectly tall, enough to make my neck hurt from looking up so much. And also the sexy scent of that cologne of his he was giving off, not to mention his forehead, I know a lot of people make fun of it but I actually find it to be cute and it was a hell of a lot cuter in person. He was dressed pretty casual of course but he still looked stunning in my eyes. At this point I really couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not, but I must’ve had a stupid look upon my face because I instantely snapped myself back into reality at the sound of a chuckle comming out of him.

“Um…(Y/N)? Right?” He asked with an adorable smile. “What? OH! Yeah yeah, that’s me, wow…holy shit…Brendon Urie?!…Uh I’m so sorry if this sounds rude but what the hell are YOU doing here?!” I asked, a huge grin appearing on me. “Hahaha, I’m guessing your brother didn’t tell you?” “Tell me what?” I quizzed, but before he could answer Josh came into the picture. “(Y/N)!! Hey!” He cheered, but I was too concentrated on the angel standing in front of me to even pay attention. “Well shit…” I heard him mutter and once again, I snapped myself back into reality. “Hm? Oh crap!! Josh!!” “Yeah that’s more like it!” He exclaims with slight laugter as I give him a huge hug. “I missed you bro!” “Missed you too brat, I see you’ve met Brendon.” Once again my eyes land on him and this time I try my best not to allow myself be hypnotized by his radiant beauty.

“Yeah….w-we met…hi again Brendon.” I beamed. “Hi again (Y/N).” He played along. “Yeah my bud here is gonna be staying with us for a few weeks before he flies out for his next performance.” “I’m sorry did….did you just use stay here and weeks in the same sentence?” I asked, feeling like I was gonna have a heart attack right then and there. “Yes, I did, whyyy?” Josh pressed in a radther curious tone. I rolled my eyes and punched his arm… “Dude! What do you mean why?! You know how much of a fan I am of this guy!” I squealed, smacking my hands together for a happy clap. “Are you really?” Brendon chimed in. “Hell yeah! I especially loved you as a demon for that one music video for Emperor’s New Clothes!! Seriously bravo! That’s like one of my all time favourite Panic songs! How does it go again? Oh yeah! I’m taking back the croowwwwn!!” I began to sing, I was about to stop immediately in fear of looking stupid in front of my favourite singer of all time, but to my shocking, tit twitching surprise, he actually sang along with me…. “I’m all dressed up and naked!! I see what’s mine and take it!!” “Finders keepers!! Losers weepers!!” I playfully add. “Oooooohh yeaaaah!!” He sang loudly, causing my mouth to drop, his voice honestly sounds ten times more beautiful up close in person.

I couldn’t even sing along anymore… Josh had to go ahead and ruin everything though by interrupting him with a pat on the shoulder. “Hey man, first of all it’s late and I have neighbors, second, you just came from doing a night long performance you should be on vocal rest.” “Fun sucker.” I glared, earning myself his middle finger. “Right, sorry bro.” Brendon sweetly apologized, shyly looking down and I could’ve sworn his eyes looked back up to stare at me for a couple of minutes, although it was a little dark to tell. But seriously from that little moment we had, I could tell that having him under my roof for the next couple of weeks was going to be awesome. “So (Y/N), I’m gonna help him carry his stuff in, you prepare the guest bedroom. We are gonna catch up on as much sleep as possible.” “Sure thing.” I assured, running upstairs to clean up a little in the room Brendon was going to be sleeping in. Only moments later as I was still doing that, I heard footsteps comming down the hallway. I was done preparing the room anyway so I stepped out, only to be a clutz again and bump into Brendon, causing him to drop his stuff and make a loud noise. “Shit! Brendon I am so so sorry, ugh why does that always have to happen to me?” I whined. “It’s okay don’t worry about it, it’s not like you meant to do that…right?” “Of course!” I promised, helping him bring everything inside.

“(Y/N) did you kill Brendon?!” Josh called out from the living room. “Ha ha dumbass.” I huffed, rolling my eyes once more. “You guys are pretty funny.” He complimented. “Not even, just natrual brother sister crap.” “Right. You know Josh has shown me a lot of pictures of you during tour.” “Oh God don’t tell me he showed you the one where I had chicken pox and he played connect the dots with me…” I pleaded, genuine fear evident in my face. “Um….no…more recent ones like from your instagram.” “Oh…” Was all I could manage to say, way to go (Y/N)… “Did he really?” “Yeah, I can tell you guys have a really close relationship, I think that’s pretty cool, and he also told me that you want to be a singer?” I felt my cheeks go red in less than a second at the mention of my life’s dream… “He’s such a big mouth, but yes…I do want to be a singer, him and Tyler have inspired me a lot to just go out there and show the world my talent. I never thought that these guys would be as big as they are now, it still shocks me.”

“Oh yeah they’re truly amazing, but I bet you are too, I would love to hear you sometime.” “Well…technically you just did, like a minute ago downstairs.” I pointed with my thumb behind me. “True but you really held back, I want to hear you go all out.” I couldn’t help but smile a little at his sweetness, especially because he kept smiling himself everytime he got a sentence out to me. “R-Really?…” “Of course.” Just then Josh came inside with the last of his luggage. “Alright man here are the rest of your things, you know how the saying goes, mi casa su casa, so make yourself comfortable and have a good sleep, (Y/N), quit bothering him and get your butt to sleep too, you’re starting to get crow’s feet as we speak.” “Shut it asshole!” I glared at him again, back handing his stomach. “Hehe it’s okay man she’s not bothering me at all, in fact you interrupted our nice conversation.” Brendon playfully stated. “Hey now I’m just trying to save you from having nightmares.” Josh said, motioning to me, and I gave him an even harder smack for that. “Ow!”

“Don’t be mean to your sister.” He tells him. “Yeah don’t be mean to your sister!” I gladly repeated. “You know that I’m just joking (Y/N), don’t start getting all sensitive on me now, besides, I really did miss you brat.” He says, side hugging me and roughing up my already messy hair. “I missed you too idiot.” I assured, fully hugging him this time. “Good, well my ass is gonna go to bed now I’m tired as hell, you guys have a good night.” Joshua yawned, waving goodbye at both of us. “Goodnight, and thanks again for letting me crash here man, although I could’ve just stayed at a hotel or something.” Brendon pointed out, high fiving my brother. “Dude no, I wasn’t gonna let you do that, and no need to thank me I’m happy to open my doors for you.” So am I brother….so am I…. Brendon thanked him once more before he finally left us alone again.

For a minute I began to picture this moment  like those sappy love movie scenes where as soon as the two people who are secretly in love with each other are alone again, they start making out like crazy and even start to take each other’s clothes off. I know I sound completely insane because him and I had literally just met moments ago but hey now, a girl can still fantasize all she wants. But I should really get to my room before I jump on him without me even knowing it. “Okay uh…I should go back to sleep now so, yeah have a good night, and it was really nice meeting you Brendon.” I said, taking steps towards the open door. “Wait!” He quickly called out, and of course I turned around to face him. “What’s up?” “Are you gonna keep your promise?” “Hm? What promise?” I slightly laugh. “That you’re going to sing for me.” He smirks, good lord, smirking really suits him well. “Hold up, I never once said I promise to sing for you.” “Now you did.” He grinned like the devil himself.

My mouth almost literally dropped to the floor, wow, he’s good I must say… “Smooth.” I compliment with squinted eyes. All he did was chuckle in response and finished with a… “Goodnight (Y/N)…” I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems to me like he loves to say my name a lot. “Night Brendon, oh and I’m sorry I so don’t look like my instagram pictures right now.” I tell him, seriously if you could see just how much of a wreck I looked that night, it just makes me want to facepalm myself a thousand times. “It’s okay, you actually look better.” I couldn’t find the right words to say to him other than a simple thank you, his words really touched me and made me feel major butterflies form in my tummy, was he really flirting with me? Was all I could think of over and over. Obviously it was extremely hard for me to believe because of who he is, I mean sure I’m Joshua Dun’s younger sister, but that’s it. “Are you joking?” I accidently blurted out, but then I was happy to have asked that because of his answer… “Not at all, you’re prettier in person, trust me.”

“Well…wow thanks that’s really sweet of you…” “What can I say? I’m a really honest guy.” He shrugged, grabbing one of his suit cases and began unpacking. I just gave him a shy smile and walked away into the hallway, down to my bedroom. It was very safe to say that I went to sleep with probably the brightest smile of my life that night, and little did I know that that wasn’t going to be the only time Brendon would make me smile so hard meanwhile he became our handsome temporary roommate.

For the next four or five weeks or so, how can I describe them really? They were the absolute BEST weeks of my life, Brendon was just what this house was missing all along, he would take Josh and I out to the most amazing places we didn’t even know this city had, there was never a dull moment because of his great sense of humor and goofy personality, but what started getting to me the most was the way he was with me whenever Josh wasn’t in the house. Don’t dare begin to think wrongly of him now, Brendon in no way would try to get all touchy and disrespect me, not at all. In fact, he would be the sweetest soul in the world, and the more days he spent with us here the closer the two of us became. I started to feel like I could be so open with him,  and he was seriously the best listener on Earth. He also knew exactly how to make me smile whenever my brother and I would have a fight and it left me feeling down in the dumps. Soon, I even began to see Brendon more as a person, not just a famous band singer, and I was loving the fact that I was getting to know him more and more on a deeper, more personal level.

But it also led me to develop some really emotional feelings of love for him. I know it was very much obvious from the start that I was head over heels for him, but now that I think about it, those feelings were just nothing more than a fangirl crush. Now that I know him this way, I would really want to be a in a true connecting relationship with Brendon. And if I’m not mistaking, he kind of feels the same way for me…I mean I really don’t want to get my hopes up high either, but I can easily tell when a guy is truly feeling a girl, and Brendon is surely showing signs of that with me. It might sound just a wee bit crazy because it’s only been a few weeks, but this close bond that we share makes me certain about how my heart beats loudly like a drum for him, that I can never deny even if I wanted to. He’s just so amazing and beautiful inside and out. He’s for sure everything that I ever wanted in a man. Plus I love playing with that great hair of his very much.

Well, besides all the amazing weeks I got to spend with him, absolutely nothing could prepare me for what happened just this morning….

I had gone out to the grocery store since since it was my turn to make dinner tonight, big surprise there since fucking Josh burned the food he was trying to make the night before. We didn’t even know what it was, hell, my brother himself didn’t even know what it was. So of course, I volunteered to save our stomachs some food poisoning, I just hope that Brendon likes what I’m going to cook. Right as I was putting away everything in it’s place in the kitchen I heard his angelic voice call out to me… “(Y/N)?! Is that you?!” “Yeah it’s me Beebo what’s up?!” I yelled in return. “Is Josh down there too?!” “No! Just me!” I answered. “Oh! Can you come up here for a moment?!” My brows furrowed for a bit, and I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous, I swear if I find him naked on his bed with rose petals spread all around…I’m not gonna hold back…just kidding….maybe not.

“Comming!” I notified, placing a few more things away before going upstairs to the guest room. Unfortunately my fantasy didn’t come true, he was just sitting on his bed with a small keyboard in his hand and a few crumpled up pieces of blank papers all over the floor. “Hey, come on in, crap, sorry for the mess I’ll promise I’ll clean it up.” “Don’t even worry, Josh’s room looks like a damn cave with weird undiscovered creatures inside.” He chuckled and cleared the chair he was resting his foot on, then patted the seat signaling me to sit. “So what are you busy with here?” “I wrote a new song, and I wanted to show you, tell me what you think okay? I really need an honest opinion.” I nodded in agreement and got comfortable, as he began to play his little keyboard which looked super adorable by the way, the melody was already sounding amazing. But it really hit home when he began to sing the words that were beautifully put together.

I was so lost in his talented voice, and it made me feel so special that I was the very first person to hear this new track, live. Our eyes were locked the entire time, this had to be the most romanitc moment him and I shared, I didn’t even realize that the song was long over… “(Y/N)?…(Y/N)!” He laughed, waving his hand in my face to bring me back. “Huh? My bad…” “Soooo? What do you think? It wasn’t stupid was it?” “What? Brendon no that was completely breath taking, in fact I think I have a new favourite panic song. It was amazing believe me.” I smiled. He also beamed very thankfully… “I’m very happy you think so. You know you never fullfilled your promise.” “What are you….oh…right…” I giggled. “I think now would be the perfect time.”

“Look man….I know I said I wanted to be a singer but my shyness is bigger than my confidence.” I couldn’t help but let in a small gasp when he grabbed a hold of my hand… “(Y/N), you might not believe this but I was just like you, I was so scared and I had the biggest fear of performing in front of atleast one person. But in all my time as a singer I’ve learned that you are never going to really enjoy life if you allow fear to hold you down all the time. Now come on, you can do this. What other song of ours do you like besides Emperor’s New Clothes?” He questions. “Hmm….I always did love to do covers of This is Gospel.” I replied. “Good, that’s awesome! Go with that. Here I’ll even play it for you here.” “No!” I blurted out. “You want to go acapella?” Brendon asks. “It’s not that it’s just…I don’t know why you holding my hand would make me feel more comfortable singing…” I hesitantly confessed.

But Brendon, as I have mentioned, being the nicest guy ever, he lovingly held my hand securely in his with an assuring smile. “Better?” All I could do was nodd and clear my throat… “Okay…one…two…three..go..” “This is gospel for the fallen ones, locked away in permanent slumber….” I began to sing, truthfully I did hold back a bit, but then as I sang more of the song I started to get really into it. Although I was having fun whaling my heart out, my cheeks were burning like crazy as I saw Brendon grinning brightly, but even more when I saw how dangerously close his face was getting to mine. “Cause these words are knives that often leave scars, the fear of falling apart, and truth be told I never was yours…the fear, the fear of falling apart…” I trailed off, witnessing how our lips were just mere inches away from each other.

“Beebo?…” I softly muttered… And his response was pressing his lips against mine, I felt such a fire inside of me, I couldn’t believe that he was actually kissing me, his beautiful tastey plump lips felt sensational upon mine. I don’t even remember how long the kiss lasted, but all I knew at that time, was that I never wanted it to end. When we finally got the strength to lean away from each other, with our eyes slowly opening, things were quiet, but then I got the courage to speak up… “Brendon…w-what was that all about?…” “God I’m so sorry (Y/N)…I just…I’ve been wanting to do that for some time now…but I’m sorry I should’ve asked first.” He says, looking down, once more I grabbed his hand and made him lock eyes with me again. “No no, don’t be sorry…I’m actually happy that you kissed me.” “You are?” “Yeah, Brendon ever since you came here and, I got the pleasure of getting to know you more over time, well, I really like you.” I tell him. “You have no idea how happy I am to know that, I really like you too…” He chuckled.

“Then kiss me again please.” I softly murmured. Now I was feeling like I was in a sappy love movie scene. I saw how his bottom lip was taken in between his teeth with a smirk while he slowly leaned in and kissed me again. Now that I knew for certain that he was into me like I am into him, I embraced our little make out session…until unfortunately… “What’s going on here?” We both heard a voice sternly inqure behind us. We quickly leaned away from each other and sure enough my brother was standing in the doorway, and the expression he had was very unpleasant, I felt like I was in for the embarassment of a lifetime. “Josh-” I began but he cut me off in less than a micro second. “Hey man! Just because I invite you to crash here doesn’t mean you’re allowed to hit on my sister!!” He yelled, slightly pushing me to the side.

“I wasn’t hitting on her!! I’m sorry but it’s more than that! I really like (Y/N) and she really likes me.” “Well guess what Brendon?! I don’t want my little sister dating a rock star! I already know how much of heartbreakers you guys are! So (Y/N)! You stay away from him! And you! You pack your shit and leave tomorrow!” Josh yelled. “Excuse me?! But what about what I want?! You may be my family Josh but you’re not the boss of me! And you especially don’t get to run my love life!” I spoke up. “Look I know what I’m doing!” He claimed. “If that’s making your little sister miserable! Then good job jackass!” I shot. “Shut up!! You’re not gonna be with him and that’s final!” “Don’t talk to her like that!! And how dare you accuse me of being a heartbreaker?! I thought we were cooler than that Josh! I thought you knew me better!” Brendon stepped in. “Dude I’ve known you for half a year!” “Wow…well It only took a couple of minutes to really know YOU.” He death glared.

“Alright look!” I announced, both of them glancing at me. “Brendon I really like you, I meant it when I said that, but I don’t wanna be the cause of your friendship being ruined, so you know what? Let’s just pretend that none of this ever happened, that way everybody is happy!!…. except for me…” I halfway whispered at the end and walked away to lock myself in my bedroom before they could even respond to me. I heard them calling my name but I just wanted to be alone….

*END OF FLASHBACK*

And that is how I am where I am now, I’ve literally stayed locked in here the entire day up until now that it’s way passed midnight. This is why I said from the start that my brother really gets under my skin with his overprotection. Obviously the only time I would get out of my room was for the bathroom, both Brendon and Josh would come and knock on my door to try and talk to me, but I knew I was going to explode with anger and tears so I kept on ignoring like if they weren’t in the house. A heavy sigh released itself from me in frustration to know that I have to go to the bathroom yet again. Hopefully these two are deep asleep right now and not trying to rip each other’s heads off. I got up off my bed and walked to open the door, when I stepped into the hallway I saw Brendon with his packed up luggages, exiting the guest room, he was all dressed up and ready to go from what it seemed. Seeing that made my heart shatter and my eyes water almost instantely…. “Brendon…” I loudly whispered, immediately he looked up and stood almost frozen. “(Y/N)…what are you doing up at this time?”

“I was getting up to go to the bathroom…are you leaving?…” I fearfully question, my voice trembling at the end. “Yeah…I am…I have to go.” “What? No you don’t! I don’t want you to go!” I truthfully said, raising my voice slightly. “But your brother does…” “Who cares what the fuck my brother wants! He clearly doesn’t care about what I want!” He looked as if he ran out of what to say to me, but I see the sadness in his eyes, I know he didn’t want to leave either, he was just forcing himself to. “Hey listen I am so sorry for ignoring you the whole day but Josh got me really upset and….just please don’t go Brendon! Please! Don’t leave me yet!” I begged, running right towards him and wrapping my arms around his waist. As soon as he held me back in a tight and loving embrace, I allowed my tears to fully run down my face, quiet but also loud sobs escaping me as well.

“I don’t want to leave you (Y/N), trust me baby if it were up to me I would stay and be with you as your boyfriend. But I can’t….” “Son of a bitch….” We heard Josh’s voice sigh one more time behind us. I leaned away and gave him the biggest death stare of his life… “I hope you’re happy Joshua.” “(Y/N)-” “No!! You’re gonna listen to ME this time! Brendon and I are gonna be together whether you like it or not!!” “(Y/N)-” “And no matter how much you BITCH about it it’s not gonna stop us!!” “(Y/N)-” “And you know what else?!-” “Shut up brat!! Let me talk!! Geez! You’re worse than mom when you get heated! I feel sorry for your future gremlines that you’re gonna call your children! Now keep it zipped for one moment and hear me out!” He yelled.

Brendon took a hold of my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze to relax me. I took a really deep breath and persuade him to go on… “I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier okay? I’ve been giving it some really deep thought the whole day and…you’re right I shouldn’t get to run your love life. I should be able to just trust you in making the right choices. And I hate to admit it but, Brendon is a really nice guy, I know he wont break your heart because I’ve seen the way he treats you from the time he’s been here with us. I’m sorry for being a jackass sometimes with you but you’re my little sister, just like dad would always say to you, no guy is ever gonna be good enough for you.”

More tears came down my face, but this time they were tears of happiness. This is also why earlier I said, that I would take a bullet for this guy, I really would. I ran up to him and gave him a bear hug… “Thanks bro.” “Yeah yeah, now get away from me.” Josh joked, playfully shoving my head which I did back. “Thank you Josh.” Brendon tells him, also approaching him and giving him a handshake. “No problem dude, and you don’t have to leave so put your stuff back in your room. You can stay here until you really have to go. BUT! If the two of you are really gonna be together, I’m gonna lay down just a few rules!” My brother sternly states, pointing his index finger at us. We both took a deep breath, and waited for him to hit us with all the strictness he has.

“Okay what are they?…” I lightly pressed. “First of all, no making out in front of me! No PDA whats so EVER in front of me. Or I will kill both of you in your sleep!” “Sounds fair.” Brendon slightly laughed, and eventually I agreed as well, although it’s gonna be hard. “Alright, second! If you guys are gonna do the dirty-” “Joshua!” I scolded, I don’t ever want my brother even thinking about that with us! Doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen though just saying. “Wait I want to hear this.” My new boyfriend smirked. “Watch it Urie.” Josh warned, making his sexy smirk dissapear. “As I was saying, if you guys are gonna do the dirty it has to be OUTSIDE of this house! And I’m gonna be able to tell if you did because I’m the one who does laundry here! Understand?” “Yeah yeah.” I roll my eyes. “And lastly, you sleep in your own bedrooms every night.” “But-” “Period!!”

We both huffed and slowly nodded in hesitation to agree with his stupid little rules. “Got it.” We said in unison. “Okay, now can we please get some sleep while the moon is still up? Goodnight.” “Goodnight Joshy.” I replied. As soon as he was out of sight I pulled my man’s shirt down and kissed him. He deepened the kiss a little and then peppered my face in pecks that made me giggle. “So I guess we’re official now huh?” He beamed. “I guess we are, see you in the morning boyfriend.” I grinned. Brendon pecked my lips once more and them my cheek. “Goodnight, my beautiful girlfriend.” We went ahead back inside our rooms, atleast now I’m returning to bed with a huge smile on my face that makes my cheeks surely be sore when I wake up. I grab my pillow and hug it tight as my eyes slowly drifted off to sleep, but then I wake up in a realization that…

I still need to go to the bathroom….

(Hopefully I did a good job on this and this is what the anon who requested this had in mind ✨) -YessyLove🌶