#Written outdoors

[chiropteracupola]

couple of half-hour dragon paintovers

[shebpaw]

These tags made me laugh because I grew up in Atlanta, GA sorta-suburbia and when I learned Warrior cats kinda also takes place in a similar setting I went "yeah"

[popsicle-stick]

working boatwomen of the british canal system, 19th-20th centuries

[agentmika]

2024

GO TO THE LIBRARY MORE.

SEE MOVIES YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN UNUSUAL AND UNIQUE WAYS WHENEVER AND WHEREVER POSSIBLE.

LEARN THE WORD BUTTERFLY IN AS MANY NEW LANGUAGES AS YOU CAN.

WRITE. EVEN IF IT'S BAD. ESPECIALLY IF IT'S BAD.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND. NO FEELING IS FOREVER.

LEARN HOW TO WIELD A BASTARD SWORD.

SEND MORE POSTCARDS.

BE KIND. DO IT WEIRD. DO IT SCARED. DO IT ALL.

[oflgtfol]

watching the hbomberguy video about plagiarism and hes discussing man in cave. as a certified cave enthusiast, and a certified cave disaster enthusiast, which was kickstarted by floyd collins videos, and particularly by the mental floss article, i must say. i had seen man in cave when it was first uploaded and i did think it was mid at the time i juts didnt realize it was plagiarized that badly. i have watched so many fucking floyd collins videos at this point that they kind of blend together so i thought the script being boring and done-before was because of that, not because it was a word for word copy of the mental floss article. lmfao.

[icewindandboringhorror]

oughhhhhhhhhhhh........ 89 F days in early May..........

[deathtodickens]

these are notes i doodled while working through the storyline of this most recent gift exchange, where emily/helena ends up reuniting with myka because she recognizes their shared childhood story in a graphic novel that several of her students are reading. (by this drawing, they’d already reunited, hence helena’s very personal days). putting a pin in it because i still want it to become a different thing.

[mockingbirdshymn]

"omg mollie omg where have you been it has been like almost a month"

my cat died lmfao so i have not been on tumblr dot com lately, kind of sunk into a depressive episode, and have not had the will to write or draw since it happened

[arielmagicesi]

Every day I regret titling a fanfic after one of the less good CXG songs because whenever I get kudos for it, I get goddamn "Camp Kvetcher Girl" stuck in my head

[scary-senpai]

For everyone following along at home.

Although I have since captured the head seeds in a jar and now I feel a bit better.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

---

(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)

[eyes-on-the-weather]

the cold vein by cannibal ox was a lot of fairly good music- it could’ve done a little better in smaller chunks than a whole album, though. many of the instrumentals had a strong sort of melodic build to them that i enjoyed a fair amount. the vocal delivery wasn’t often that varied or dynamic, so it’s nice how dense & robust the instrumentals frequently were in their stead. the tracks were still a fun listen even when i wasn’t paying attention to the lyrics as much. their words didn’t often convey very much to me, but it at least felt like they knew what they were doing, so i didn’t feel like there was nothing there. the overall quick-step tempo of the tracks worked in their favor to make them fun to listen through; consequently, the ones that went on the downtempo end of lo-fi (for this album) worked best in contrast to those groovier tracks, maybe while not being as engaging on their own. overall, i think this album’s greatest asset is its sound palette, found in the crackly samples with great melodic range mixed together nicely, supporting straightforward vox, and all accented by record scratching (a sweet spot of mine) here & there.

[alphahase]

Went on a walk in the middle of the night to get my mind clear. It actually felt rly good. Maybe gonna do it more often.

[loveluvrs]

the slip up l lando norris x reader

request/summary – lando and reader are in a secret established relationship, until lando accidentally slips up on stream

author's notes – first piece of writing, feedback appreciated!!! this is just my thoughts written down honestly, i didn’t have much idea where i was going with it so enjoy.

Max was streaming with Lando at his place. Lando drags his feet over to the stream room, sitting on a chair next to Max. He was scrolling on his phone, trying to pass the time. 

“Mate, I’m gonna leave, you’re being so boring,” Lando joked under his breath as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I’ll make things more interesting then. Chat, wanna know something really interesting about Lando?” Max asked with a mischievous smile as he looked back at Lando. Lando watched with suspicion of what max could say next. 

“Lando’s got a secret girlfriend,” Max sings to annoy Lando. Lando’s eyes shot up, his heart pounding as he turned off his phone, the same phone he was using to text you, his girlfriend. “I don’t, chat, don’t listen to him. He’s just trying to piss me off,” Lando says as he shoots Max a glare. 

—————

A few months later, everyone has chalked up that interaction to Max simply trying to annoy and rile up Lando, and no one thought much of it. On a miracle of a night in spring, Lando was in Monaco and decided to stream. He had a hoodie on, his hair all messy, but a smile on his face. About an hour into the stream, I knock on the door of his stream room quietly. Lando immediately turned off his video and mic, telling chat to give him a minute. 

I walk in, a black slip dress on with a cropped white cardigan, my hair and makeup done all fancy. “Hi, baby,” Lando says as he pulls me in by the waist, onto his lap. “Girls night tonight, right?” He says with a soft smile. He always makes sure to pay attention to anything I’ve mentioned to him, including my plans to hang out with Lily and Carmen tonight, Alex and George’s girlfriends. 

I hum in response. “Yeah, we’re gonna get dinner and then take some Instagram photos,” I say as I stand up from his lap, “you like the dress? It’s new.” I give him a little twirl to show off the dress. 

Lando smiles brightly. “I love it, baby, you look gorgeous. Like always,” he says as he leans in for a kiss. “Text me when you’re done and need me to pick you up, yeah?” I nod and smile. 

Once I leave, Lando puts his headset back on, turning his mic and camera back on. He scrunches up his face as he’s met by shouting from Max into his headset. “What’s your problem, man?” Lando asks with confusion. Max sighs. “Lando, you had your mic on the whole time. People heard that whole conversation and I was trying to tell you but as always, you ignored me,” Max says with some frustration in his voice, but mostly amusement. 

“Oh,” Lando says as he realizes what has happened. Not knowing what to do, Lando panics and ends stream. 

When my friends and I reach the restaurant, we find it pouring rain, which was the most of our worries since the restaurant was outdoor. With frowns, we all pile back into the car and drive ourselves home. I arrive home only twenty minutes after I left, my dress soaked. My brows furrow in confusion to see Lando on the couch on his phone when i come back, and not on stream. 

I slip off my shoes. “I thought you were streaming?” I ask softly as I make my way over to him. “What happened to you? You’re all soaked! Here, let me get you a towel and you can get dressed into some of my hoodie and sweats to get comfy,” Lando says, trying to avoid the fact that he had just live streamed his whole conversation with his girlfriend. 

I saw the panic in Lando’s eyes. “Stop,” I say as I stood in front of him, “what did you do?” Lando shoots me a bright grin. “I love you, babe. So so much. And you know I’d do anything for you.” This made me even more suspicious. “Lan,” I say as my eyes narrowed.

“Okay, okay. I might have forgotten to mute my mic when we were talking right before you left. I swear I thought I had turned it off!” He says as he panics before beginning to ramble. “And I called you baby, and gorgeous, and your voice was heard too. And Max was telling me the whole time through my headset, but it was off and even if it were on, you know I don’t think about anything else when I’m with you. And there were thousands of people on the stream and you specifically told me you wanted to keep it private because you didn’t want to get hate crimed by the fans and you wouldn’t be able to handle it and I mean, I wanted to but it just slipped and im so so sorry but-“ He stops in confusion when a giggle escapes my lips. “Why aren’t you upset?” He asks slowly.

I smile as I slip my arms around his neck, his hands instinctively wrapping around my waist. “Well. Number one, you’re cute when you panic. Number two, no one saw me, so it’s okay. I mean, considering how in love you are with me, they were bound to find out at some point that you had a girlfriend,” I tease with a smile tugging at my lips. 

He scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully at me. “Okay, yeah. I am absolutely in love with you. Still, you’re not bothered by this?” he asks slowly, hesitation lacing his voice.

“I promise I’m not. It was a mistake. Plus, that just means it’s gonna be all the more fun trying to watch them figure out who it is you’re dating,” I say playfully with a giggle. 

“That’s true,” Lando says softly with a hum, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Although, don’t make me have to have you on adult supervision every time you stream now to make sure nothing else slips out of your mouth,” I tease as I playfully poke his side. 

“Ah! Okay okay, promise,” he says with a giggle as he leans in for a gentle and loving kiss.

[lovegasmic]

  MILF CHASER

──── ꒰ kaveh , childe , thoma , zhongli x milf f!reader ꒱ 

꒰ nsfw : although no specified, this was written with a chubby reader in mind, and if you have a husband or not it's up to you◞ blowjob w kaveh◞ semi public outdoors sex and cheating on your husband w childe ◞ creampie w thoma◞ breeding kink w zhongli ꒱ ★ taglist

( might make another post with other characters once I find the time, comment who you’d like me to include ^_^ ). jjk version

 ✶  KAVEH

a consultancy, that should be no problem, the lady was willing to pay a good sum for a quick couple of questions, or at least that was what Dori had told him, along with a brief description of your physical appearance before she dismissed the blonde for an important client.

but as soon as Kaveh stepped into Puspa café, he found you immediately, and fuck, the description did not do you justice.

he’s a bit, —very much, awestruck, mouth going dry at the sight of your pretty self sipping on a drink, plush hips and soft boobs strained under that dress, he gulps, fixing his clothes before meeting with you.

apparently your kids have moved out from home already, and you were quite loaded, thanks to a very successful divorce with your ex husband, managing to get lots of money from the bastard. and Kaveh was happy for you, happily offering to check your house that was begging for an update into a more personal and comfortable home for one.

he was happy for himself too, one, because you were going to pay nicely, finally getting out of Alhaitham’s hair for a while, and two, because you were sex with legs, swinging your hips so seductively that his cock was already starting to ache.

“this is not professional, this is not professional” he thinks to himself, two drinks in and you’re already on your knees, “we shouldn’t be— a-ahh?!” that pretty and lipstick stained mouth of yours wrapped around the leaking tip, tongue tapping on the underside as if to taunt him, and it works, forcing a bubbling whine from the blonde’s mouth, who curls over your head, hands on the kitchen counter, —the one he suggested demolishing— but not it was a lifeline for his knees not to buck.

“oh, archons, oh... f-fuu-ck, guh... —ah...” he’s so messy, so whiney and pretty, with flushed face and tip splurting pre onto your tongue, the one that eagerly laps and sucks, more and more until you’re just letting out choked ’hmph’s around the base, “this woman is going to fucking kill me” his mind repeats and repeats, with one hand already coming to hold your head, just to fuck tiny thrusts into your eager mouth that slobbers all over his cock and balls and drips saliva down onto the floor.

to be fair, Kaveh is not interested in the money anymore.

 ✶  CHILDE

“i already told you no” it was perhaps the third time in the same day, that Childe decided to continue his never ending pestering.

“just give me one chance!” his steps are quick to follow you around Liyue harbor as you scanned the stalls with different products, the red head was not worried about who might hear, he never did, carrying that confident, cocky smirk with quick but light steps, “i promise you won't regret it” finally you stop, and Childe is quick to lean against the wall with a look that was almost undressing you.

with a sigh you turn, managing to take the man onto a more secluded spot, worried about people overhearing and running to your husband, whenever he returns from his work trips.

“what do I have to do to make you stop?” hands on your hips like you often spoke to your kids when they were younger, not as if the man in front of you was much older than your oldest either way.

a click of his tongue and the smirk is back, not giving you a moment to think before guiding you to a spot behind several houses, steps quick and easy until you’re backed against the wall, “just one tiny, innocent kiss” what a good liar, plastering that good boy look.

but do all liars kiss so good? losing track of time as his tongue explores your mouth, and although he looked a little too thin, his strength was astonishing, lifting you as if you weighted nothing.

a single orange falls from the groceries bag, rolling down the floor against Childe’s feet, not even registering the touch from how dumb your cunt got him, leaving open mouthed grunts against your neck as he fucks you silly.

his hands are on your hips and tits, squeezing the flesh like he’s addicted, “good... fuck...” his grunts are low compared to your almost sobbing mewls, it’s been so long and he knew, “i told you... i’m better than your stupid husband” his tongue meets your throat.

“don’t... hngh... say that— ah!” the thrusts so precise you became a mess, gushing so much slick down his cock, but you can’t stop, his pretty and veined cock rubs on every delicious spot, keeping you spasming and squeaking like a needy little thing.

he’s going to make you cream his cock until all thoughts are gone from your pretty head, until you can only think of him.

 ✶  THOMA

Ayato was a good head of the family, you always believed in him, having practically watched him and Ayaka grow since you and his parents used to be friends.

so of course, they were like your kids, and soon... you met him.

Thoma was new, a bit shy at first, always eager to please, and that behavior did not change through the months, but his stares were definitely new.

you found Thoma’s eyes lingering on you, on your body, whenever you spoke or walked, and an almost permanent blush on his cheeks.

“you should stay the night, it’s raining” he said, a bit too enthusiastic to be hidden behind a mask of concern, and who were you to refuse that pretty boy’s almost begging request.

not even because you decided to chat at the Kamisato state spare room, did Thoma’s blush subside, fidgeting with his fingers at the proximity, at the scent coming from your body.

you wondered what would make him completely let his guards down, not really expecting everything it took was a mere kiss for the blonde to melt, with eager hands tugging on every bit of clothes he could find, and soon, he was panting, with a cute blush on his chest, bright green eyes glossy and staring up at you in sheer adoration as you bounced on his cock.

“s’ good, so good...” Thoma’s babbling grows, unsure whether to stare at your cute face, jiggling tits or soft pussy swallowing his cock down the base, it was too much, his body too hot and cock twitching precum.

“you feel so good too” the fact that you were slightly less affected than him was so hot, almost smiling as you rode him, with swift eager hip movements, keeping his tip lodged pretty nicely into the depths of your pussy, “so good, baby”

you were a praiser, showering him and his cock with cute, soothing petnames, one after another that only turned Thoma into a bigger mess, with his back almost arched and hands gripping your hips, “cu— ah... cu... mming!” he warns, making you just redouble the efforts until he’s shooting a thick load of cum into your womb, with choked whimpers escaping those plump red lips of his.

 ✶  ZHONGLI

the rumor that Zhongli was quite well versed was soon heard all around Liyue, reaching your ears and of course, you had to contact him.

“a... tutor?” that’s what you needed, a tutor for your son who was in need of a little push in his knowledge, and what best that from the most smart man in the whole city.

it didn’t take long to convince Zhongli, truly your charm took part in it, so he does as told, and days pass with the man’s curiosity about you just growing, you were so sweet to him and your kid, offering drinks and snacks after every session.

until one day, he decided to cut the lesson short, your son was too eager to go out to play, so Zhongli used the spare time to engage in a chat with you, having you open up.

he was a good listener and you really needed some sort of relief, the house was empty and quiet for a good while, until the sound of clothes shifting and lips crashing filled the espace.

“stay still” he mutters against your mouth, parting your lips to gracefully suck on your tongue while a hand slides under your panties and rubs on your clit, too painfully swollen and needy, “ah, beautiful” is more of a purr to himself, finding your wetness tantalizing since you got so aroused just from a few kisses.

the world spins, and Zhongli is too hot for your own well being, tall, broad, easily manhandling you against the table where you shared an innocent tea, now spilled and creating a pool atop the creaking wood that scrapped on the floor with each thrust of Zhongli’s fat cock into your soaked cunt.

“ha... ah...” you can only beg, nails on the surface and back arched like he wanted, with breathy and throaty groans echoing.

“so perfect, a body so perfect like yours needs to be filled all the time” words like honey drip onto your brain, sucking on your earlobe and making your pussy flutter, “your son is so lovely... perhaps...” his hips turn slightly, purposely hitting deep and onto your g-spot, “... you can make another one that looks like me this time?”

[lylahammar]

Hi ✋ I have a little Marcille theory/headcanon (which honestly could possibly be canon) to share

I often see people characterizing her as the person who wears inappropriate clothes to a hike, like the girl who doesn’t know how to handle herself outdoors. And I always thought, why is that?? She’s shown to have been kinda an outdoorsy kid

I still think that characterization that people give her is incorrect BUT only partially. I was thinkin about it more and I think that Marcille is a reformed agoraphobe. She grew up playing outside all the time, until her father died and her mother said the worst thing possible to her daughter dealing with that trauma lmfao

Marcille became terrified of death, not just for herself but for others. I’ve seen people joke about how her early life timeline doesn’t have much on it, and I know part of that was because her backstory hadn’t been revealed yet when the adventurer’s bible was written so it was avoiding spoilers, but also. Maybe she actually didn’t do much before going to magic school?

When she met Falin, she was confronted with a kid who was just as, if not probably more outdoorsy than she was as a kid

And she actually got panicked by it! This interaction reads at first like Marcille being a prissy nerd who doesn’t go outside ever, which is why I think people often mischaracterize her that way, but it reads a lot different when you realize she actually used to be outdoorsy herself and is just a (probably recently) traumatized girl with a horrible fear of anyone around her dying

Anyways, it’s very clear that Falin’s carefree attitude and podunk knowledge helped her get past the worst of her fears, and now Marcille’s able to travel and go on adventures again. Which, again, makes their love hit even harder. And also the terror Marcille feels at the idea of Falin dying. Top yuri couple of all time moment