#YOURE AN AMAZING HUMAN STAWP

[ja3yun]

TDH Spoilers Ahead!

NAHHHHH CAUSE LIKE…NAHHHHHH, LEGIT LEGIT I LOVED THE ALT ENDING, I LOVED BOTH SO FREAKING MUCH.

Just as the room falls into a heavy silence, punctuated only by the echo of your racing heartbeat, a frantic knocking at the door shatters the calm. Jongseong's desperate pleas slice through the air, his voice laced with worry and fear. "Soonyeol?! Baby, are you in there? I can’t hear you anymore, angel…"

STAWP, CAUSE THAT PART ACTUALLY BROKE ME, AND JAEYUN’S PLEAS, PLEASEEEEE, YOU BROKE ME, IM SO GLAD YOU DIDNT MAKE JAEYUN GO THROUGH EVEN MORE MISERY.

BUT, I must be crazy or your writing is literally perfect (Spoiler alert: It is), I actually fell into Heeseung’s spell, cause I legit said aloud “Yeah, fuck Jongseong for some seconds cause you did sin! Why can’t I have what I want and you can?!” After I said that, I felt so bad 😭

I must admit, I was scared of this ending cause I remember there was one ask were you said that he wouldn’t be as interested in the alt as he was in the true ending or smth like that, and I even got more scared when you explained his past lover, cause I was like “Nah man, he just want her.”

BUT THEN YOU COMPLETELY BROKE ME AGAIN, when you started explaining Heeseung’s feelings and how he loved Y/N for who she is and not for his past lover, AND AND AND WHEN HE THANKED ALAIDA, I LEGIT THOUGHT HE WAS THANKING Y/N FOR BRINGING ALAIDA, NOT VICEVERSA. How he tries to bring out his humanity for her, and even for Soonnie at the moment. AND WHEN HE SAID “See, Princess? There’s nothing we can’t handle together.” I ACTUALLY FORGOT HE JUST STUFFED SOONYEOL IN A WARDROBE FOR A SECOND CAUSE SIR, YOU CANT SAY THAT TO ME AN EXPECT ME TO REACT NORMALLY.

Hear me out people, this might sound crazy but, Heelzebub’s my new standard, I KNOW, I KNOW, CRAZY RIGHT? THE OTHER DOLLS ARE TOO BUT HEELZEBUB IS TOP.

Once again, you have outdone yourself. I swear to God, the way you write, like someone said in an ask, really does transport me there, unconsciously, I feel like a part of it, and I really love when a book, fic, story or anything makes me feel like that. You are truly amazing AJ. I will keep loving every single work you do in the future, but I must admit The Doll House will always have a special place in my heart

Once again, congrats on your magnificent work 💕

i had jaeyun suffering in the og but i could not do that to him 😭 he got off lightly compared to jongseong bc that man suffered so bad like imagine losing the soulmate you gave up heaven for?? brutal 😮‍💨

yess i am so glad that heeseungs words made you feel the same way yn did bc he is 100% right??? why cant yn have everything when everyone else does? 😭

heeseung is infatuated with yn i love them sm :( he is my standard now i fear like if a man is not searching heaven and earth and willing to kill.for me i dont want him (jk but i am also not)

i am so happy you loved it!! thank you for reading it baby <3

[sanguinesinners]

Okay listen here you beautiful human being. I freaking love your portrayal. I’ve only gotten two replies on our thread so far but already I fucking love it mkay! You take your time and you really get in there and think like you muse would think and it’s so fuckin cool. Ilysm

|| STAWP! Omg this is so sweet! 🥺 Thankyou so so much! That means alot and you’re right I do take my time but that’s cos Im thinking of how to adapt to what my muse would do (most of them live in my head rent free too 😭) and i try me best to work with the ships I have and get out a good enough reply 😊 so I appreciate you a lot to know that. you’re freaking amazing too. Ilysm ! 🖤

[selfcareparker]

HIIIIII AMAZING HUMANNNNN :):):)<333

Ahhh you‘re the cutest!!! Hiiii how‘re you doing?❤️

[darthwheezely]

friendly reminder that your writing is absolutely ✨perfect✨ and that I’ll personally fight anyone who ever talks shit about it or you and that you’re also a wonderful human being, ily phia💕 (also I’m already super excited for the next chapter of i walk the line because wow that’s some amazing writing if I’ve ever seen any)

MORGAN 🥺🥺🥺

BABY!!!!!

STAWP.

MAAM.

I’m gonna go.

FUCKING weep.

Things like this is why I keep writing

[tinkdw]

14x01: watching notes / mini meta

This episode is just like one long tick list of previous meta and I love it even if the actual ep itself was slightly bland with a few niggles, the thematics are so exciting for what it means for the show overall and the characters we love. Here’s my watching notes / mini meta short versions of the themes, (previous longer meta’s on each theme are linked with x or underlined sentences). Here we go!

I called the Angel wings, yay!

Opening song: shot down in flames by AC/DC. A song about unrequieted romantic feelings. Lmao. OK, good start...

- Dean screaming at Sam “all I see is everything we’ve lost” - cuts to just Cas dying. OK. Thanks for clarifying that meta from last year up for us Dabb ;)

- That freeze frame tho. Even shortened it’s still terrible. Stawp.

- Cut to Sam in the car, this is like the one with Rowena where it went from the opening song to her in the car and I love it, please do more. Oh, bonus if we can get one where Dean does it and he looks at the camera like he’s on the office and switches it from something rocky to, like, Miley Cyrus :p

- The point of the Jamil scene, whilst in itself it is divisive and has offended some viewers (and I do not condone that but I write meta so here is the meta), was clear re: Michael. Showing that Michael essentially is that asshole who doesn’t care how much you redeemed yourself and now are trying to do good but says you want selfish things and remembers that one time you did something wrong 8 years ago and won’t let you get past it. He also enjoys putting words in others’ mouths and judging them from above because he somehow thinks he is some all knowing, all judging clever clogs (and better than Gabriel, pfft he doesn’t even know our Gabriel but just assumes he’s better, ok then...). He’s a self absorbed, self assured, arrogant, genocidal, doesn’t give a shit about humanity wanker with a chip on his shoulder having inherited some power from his daddy he doesn’t know what to do with and has only shown so far that he can balls it up royally but somehow thinks this time, this time it'll work cos he’s oh so intelligent and right. Oh look, Michael is Trump.

- “A better world”. Well I’ve talked about that a lot previously, how this links to the other extreme end of the MoL, essentially we have the MoL at one end telling us the world can only be better if you remove anything supernatural and Michael at the other saying it can only be better if you remove anything natural. Longer meta on these and how they also link to John and the season 1 onwards black/white to grey area progression here: x and x  Dabb is really hammering home the grey area / balance themes in the middle for endgame and I love him for it.

- DEAD MANS BLOOD BULLETS what a great idea! I’ve not seen anyone comment on this yet but honestly, this is up there with salt hoolahoops and exorcisms saved on your phone ;)

- Sam “chief” Winchester. I’m living. I mean let the dude take a nap but the concept and symbolism of him as the leader, taking charge of the hunters and the bunker, Mary as his lieutenant, everyone looking up to him with respect because of what he has done and who he is rather than out of fear or duty... I can’t express just how much I love this and am grateful it’s as blatant as it is.

- Castiel gets kidnapped and used as “bait” (yes there’s like 5 layers of symbolism here and I hate/love it) and the whole thing with Sam telling them there’ll be no king of Hell goes down in Detroit. Yeah sure tell me Dabb doesn’t care about mirrors and previous canon references, parallels and subversions ;)

- I just can’t even with Sassy!Cas *rolls eyes* *uses “GOD” as a blatant blasphemy* is just so human, being so done when Kip makes his stupid OTT grand entrance whilst Cas is calmly sat in front of the fire pit and then tells him he’ll burn him to ash. YES MY SON.

- “Joined at the... (Dick)”. Yes Kip I get you, everyone does, literally everyone thinks they’re boning, cos duh, but you see they could actually have an ounce of happiness within the chaos if they weren’t so bloody miscommunicative and self hating that they haven’t even admitted their feelings let alone touched each other yet below the shoulder. But yes, please, do join the hoards of characters on the show who assume they are a couple. 

*Tink stares into the camera*

- The less said about Michael’s puny ass winged ‘twuform’ the better. Yes it looks like a pigeon with disproportionally tiny wings, yes it looks like Dean bent his halo (lolz) but aside from the humour there’s nothing good about this.

- Michael: Dean said yes for love. Ah yes. The power of love. I love to be reminded that this whole show’s premise since the pilot is love. Thanks Satan.

- Michael thinks Anael is everything Cas is. “The rebel, the Angel who doesn’t like playing by Heaven’s rules” I mean jeez, like a hammer to the face much! Well, Danneel said she did want to play Castiel so ;) x and x 

- Tbh I also got massive self reflection vibes here off the next part on performing!Dean and I just love how all this comes out of Dean’s own mouth, it’s just so symbolic. Every time Michael says something it seems to be a reflection on John or Dean or daddy issues of some sort.

Re: Performing!Dean: “You pretend to care about these things... pretty things, but that’s all it is, pretending. These trinkets, they don’t make you happy they just pass the time, they’re not what you really want”. *Tink stares at all of the meta on Performing!Dean repression by overcompensating, especially with sex to pass the time and try to alleviate his mood with women, especially since season 7, every time Cas is gone and he’s pining*.

- What do you really want? This basically works for both Dean and Cas (and Sam too to be fair but he’s not been mirrored previously so I’m going with the symbolism here being most relevant to Cas mirror Anael and Dean whose literally saying it through a veil): “love, to belong, to have a place a home a family... it’s very very human”.

- *Cough* blatant easy link and exposition of endgame Human!Cas and Nonperforming!Dean. *sends Dabb a giant fruit and donut basket*

- Cleary the theme of season 14 is “what do you want” just as season 13′s was “who are you”. Excellently linked themes.

- Sam is just going around all episode fixing other peoples issues and taking no time for himself, he needs a friend and a nap.

- Jack is actually not doing badly considering and I’m so happy they made him sad and angsty without being an annoying whiney teenager (I do have an issue with how Claire was made into this and am annoyed with the m/f difference but sigh, clearly they were trying to do something better with WS. Sigh again).

- I actually kinda loved the Sam / Nick scene. Since it was clear Mark P was coming back (literally why Satan) I made peace with it and expected Nick and I hope they continue with it as well as I think it started. Mark’s little gestures of itching and wincing really helped with the overall feel here so through gritted teeth I say kudos. Jared steals the show though at his own minute facial expressions and the deep meaning of this scene for him, I’m sure he enjoyed acting this immensely as he’s always cared a lot for the Sam/Lucifer storyline and it’s closure. Obviously it’s got implications for Michael!Dean so let’s see what happens. Sam was amazing obviously, man, I just... really hope Bucklemming don’t fuck this up as Nick’s likely their play thing. Fingers crossed, it’s off to a good start.

- If they really do follow through on this really cack-handed obvious “we can kill Michael by stabbing Dean and save Dean” story then I’ll be really fucking disappointed. This is lazy and too obvious, it also negates all the possibility for the Dean/John mirror from 2x01 with John angry at them for not killing him to kill Azazel and thus leading into Dean’s blatantly exposed self worth arc throughout the season while he struggles to feel worthy of being alive at the potential expense of the world, with his family telling him he does deserve to be saved (>...>). I mean... I just can’t really get my head around this not happening? Or it being so frankly badly written if it is? It feels more like a red herring to me, like, a giant red herring. If it doesn’t happen like this and they just stab Michael with the shittyretconblade then I’ll be shocked. Though I’ll be less shocked if it’s in the Bucklemming episode and I’ll attribute this to their shitty writing and Dabb really having zero fucking says in his own show anymore and the whole thing going downhill moving forwards. So either way it’s bad. So fingers, toes and everything crossed this isn’t what happens.

- The fact that Cas knew Sam would come save him gives me so many happy feels whereas I feel only a few seasons ago he would have said he’s not worth saving / why would Sam bother. He trusts Sam and he believes Sam loves him. Happy Tink.

- “He just told you he’s a demon?” “Yep”. I love Sassy! Sam.

- Bait. It’s kind of what you’re for isn’t it? I just... That was so hilariously triple, quadruple, whatever, entendre... bait for the audience, bait for the Winchesters, bait associated with fish as Castiel usually is, just, it made me laugh out loud and @bluestar86 looked at me like I’d gone nuts but I loved the cleverness of it. Though also fuck you Cas is more than bait ;) I mean Dabb knows that he loves Cas he’s being tongue in cheek but yeah, this made me chuckle big time.

- Michael has been to see Kip and it again hopefully will be a continuation of the theme of Michael being so black and white he turns grey people black or white. I’d love to see an opposite where his asking this question of what do you want actually makes someone choose to do the right thing.

- Mary “I have to think about the good Sam, because if I don’t I’ll just drown in the bad, for Dean’s sake I can’t do that, we can’t do that”. Wow. Mary ploughing on, seemingly cold to others until she’s probed, revealing her internal emotional struggle, forever threatening to overflow and the actual drive for her actions that in full circle are what makes her come across as uncaring. If this isn’t Mary’s whole arc since her resurrection in one sentence. If it ain’t also a massive TFW mirror. IN ONE SENTENCE. GOD I LOVE ANDREW DABB OK?!

- Bobby re-emphasising the family theme to Jack in the impala, reminiscent of Jack telling the Winchester’s they are his family in the impala last season.

- Equating Sam to Beyoncé for his glorious physique, hair and overall legend / icon status is just A. Brilliantly hilarious and reminding us how great Sam is but also B. So cool to give zero shits that Beyoncé is a woman and is just as capable of being a role model for a guy. Kudos Dabb. C. I just imagine Cas looking on like but I’m Beyoncé! ;)

- The fight scene is just too embarrassing, that knife flip between Mary and Sam is so 80’s bionic man and more wires like, my dudes, my guys, stawwwwwwp. I’m also annoyed tbh that Maggie is for some reason a young, relatively helpless and hapless girl rather than being an AU survivor and hunter. Like, why even bring her from the off no questions asked while questioning Jack, if she’s so helpless she’s hiding and gormless to the point Mary had to actually ask her if she knows how to stab someone. This is weird and I hope they’re going to show her developing cos urgh. wtf.

- Cas is “still breathing” after fighting like a human and being all bloodied up like a human without healing himself. straight into the #human!cas tag. 

- Callbacks to Crowley and as @bluestar86 said Kip just reminds us of another demon dude from 14x08 and this is totally true, “Barthamus call me Bart" and “Kipling call me Kip”. What’s next, “Judas call me J”?. 

- Sam’s “enough!” 

is the best moment of this episode hands down and I am excite for this symbolism for his character growth. I don’t personally think this is at all him declaring he’s King or Regent, he’s just asserting his very puny human authority, albeit as the one time could have been ruler but he isn’t and doesn’t want to be, and regardless the demons fear him for who he is as Sam Winchester not as a potential king. 

BOOM> Sam Fucking Winchester amiright?!

He’s feared by demons because of who he chooses to be as a person and he’s respected by humans for who he chooses to be.

It’s a total mirror opposite.

It’s a bookend. 

I LOVE it.

DAMN DABB.

- Cas supporting Sam, the only one who really asks how he is, is such brother / best friend goals. Sam being honest about his feelings and the opposite mirror of Cas deflecting from his own when Sam asks how he is in return is painful. Please Cas, tell us what you want.

- “Sunshine”. OK but literally the whole point of that scene was Bobby calling Mary sunshine while flirting with beer bottles. Nothing else happened. It’s like Dabb is literally wielding a Destiel subtext hammer and bashing it into canon in new and interesting ways every moment he can at this point when they’re not even in the episode or scene. I’m reminded of David/Violet. I wanted Mary/Bobby Destiel parallels and we got it in episode 1. Excellent.

- Cas and Jack have their deeply meaningful mirroring scene about feeling human whilst both sporting mirroring injuries from mirrored wounds and both being punched in the face. (Dabb loves mirrors so much I may send him a fruit and donut basket with a great big mirror inside too for shits and giggles). 

Cas and Jack’s scene is yet more exposition that neither are valid due to their powers but valid and loved for who they are. 

Just as Sam is feared by demons and respected by humans for who he is not due to any demon blood or destiny. 

Just as Dean is loved and will be saved by his family because of who he is not how useful he is as a tool.

I’m reminded of my tag #season who we are 13 because that was so set up in that season from Dabb’s own premiere, showing just how much he does hark back and have a clear and consistent thematic overview of his story. 

You may by this point see why I’m quite so done with the Dabb bashing on SM this week? How it’s totally inconsistent with the actual canon of the show? That he clearly knows exactly what he’s doing thematically even if he’s not so hot on small details and Bucklemming/Singer take turns dumping a turd into his and the others writers’ pot of gold every now and again? Yeah, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

- LET SAM SLEEP 2k19!!!

[elainescookingforthesoul]

TRANSCRIPT for Episode 1.10 “Astro’s Frito Pie” (PART 2/2)

ACT II

ELAINE: Got another one!

ASTRO: Okay, that was impressive. You dropped that from so high, and that cockroach was moving so fast!

ELAINE: I'm getting pretty good. Shall we start in on this dish? I'm getting pretty hungry.

ASTRO: Let's do it.

ELAINE: Welcome back, listeners! We are sitting here at the LA Dental Clinic with my special guest Astro, who is about to share with us an unbeatable Frito Pie recipe.

ASTRO: That's right! And stay tuned after for a tidbit on working with the contours of your hunger-hollowed cheekbones!

ELAINE: So to start with, we have a trademarked bag of Fritos. We also have a can of black beans, a can of enchilada sauce, and a taco seasoning packet. If you don't have the taco seasoning packet, maybe you have cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder--a teaspoon each on those--plus maybe a little salt, pepper and cayenne-- should work nicely too, for those lucky enough to have access to such luxuries. But for us being in such a tight spot, it's the taco packet.

ASTRO: Right. So the first step is...uh...opening the bag of chips, obviously.

ELAINE: That's right, and set your one-quart pot to a low heat.

[GAS/WHOOSH]

ASTRO: Yep! Then you, uh...open up the bag of chips. Like, make sure it's really open.

ELAINE: And we'll go ahead and put our whole can of enchilada sauce in and get it to a simmer. 

ASTRO: Yeah, and now that you've fully and thoroughly opened the bag of Fritos, you're almost ready for the next step!

ELAINE: Which is, of course...

ASTRO: Quality control!

[CHOMPING]

ASTRO: Yep, this corn chip tastes pretty good. Take us through the next step, Elaine!

ELAINE: Well, our version is going to be very very simple. I'm going to open up this can of beans, give them a quick rinse in this hand sink here. 

[WATER RUNNING]

ELAINE: And then I'll add those to the pot, too. What's next, Astro?

ASTR: Oh, probably the most important step is...hygiene. I'm going to go wash my hands. While I do that, feel free to hop on to the next step!

ELAINE: Alright. The next step is adding in those dry spices to the bean and enchilada sauce mixture. We mix it all together, get it warmed through, and set up our dishes.

ASTRO: Most diseases are spread through the fingernails, you know! That’s facts!

[CHIPS POUR IN BOWL]

ELAINE: That is simply false, but I'm too hungry to get into it. I'm just pouring a large amount of Fritos into two bowls here...

[BEAN/SAUCE PLOPS]

ELAINE: And then I'll pour the bean and sauce all mixed up here on top.

ASTRO: Wow, that lavender vanilla handsoap is de-lish. Okay, what step are we on?

ELAINE: Just the eating step!

ASTRO: Wow! Things go so much faster when you work as a team, huh?

ELAINE: Yeah, that is true, typically. Shall we?

ASTRO: Let's!

[CRUNCH]

ASTRO: Um, Elaine?

ELAINE: Hm?

ASTRO: This is amazing!

ELAINE: Oh, I'm glad you think so! I think in different times I would top with avocado, maybe some cilantro or even a little sour cream. But as is, I think it's pretty serviceable.

ASTRO: It's the best thing I've had in months!

ELAINE: I'm so glad to hear that. It's really nothing spectacular when you first heard of it, but I like to think that with a little love and enthusiasm, even the most simple dishes can be special. 

ASTRO: Mmm hmm totally hear you. Love it. Elaine. Do you know what I've noticed about you since we started talking?

ELAINE: Oh, do I have something in my teeth again?

ASTRO: No--you have an entrepreneurial spirit. I'd love to coach you a little to bring it all the way to the forefront so others can appreciate it.

ELAINE: Thank you, Astro. I don't think it's in the budget for now, but I'll keep it in mind.

ASTRO: It's worth every ration, I swear. For six avocados, you get a weekly update from me with some crazy-good inspo. But for six avocados, two ounces triple cream brie, and a bag of Cara Cara oranges, you get all that inspirational stuff, plus my beauty 

slash living life hacks and a handwritten thank-you letter written by yours truly.  

ELAINE: Wait--who--how--who is giving you fresh produce? I haven't seen anything fresh come out of the earth since the nuclear exchange! I was told none existed!

ASTRO: It's really all about networking, Elaine. Mm. This Frito pie, though!

ELAINE: You must be really good at connecting to the right people.

ASTRO: Aw, you're so sweet! You're good at things too, Elaine! Look at all these cockroach friends you captured tonight.

ELAINE: I guess...

ASTRO: Well, Elaine, I'm gonna let you go.

ELAINE: Oh. Okay.

ASTRO: Yeah, seriously, I know you have other things to get into, so I'm gonna let you get to it.

ELAINE: You don't have to leave immediately--

ASTRO: You're such a busy woman, I'm gonna give you the power to just kick me out.

ELAINE: I mean, alright. Bye!

ASTRO: Stawp! Honestly, you are a dream, Elaine! Keep that Virgo energy going! Mwah! 

[DOOR BELL JANGLES]

ELAINE: Well, I'll give Astro this--they really know how to do exactly what they want to do. Oranges! I thought fresh produce was forever lost to irradiated soil, a disrupted climate, and the ravaging of mutated livestock! Am I at the wrong ration swaps? I mean, no offense to our sponsor, of course...Anyway...folks, what we're learning more and more each day is that humanity--what's left of it--strives for connection. It's our curse to both distrust and need one another. We will traverse unlikely roads and endure unimaginable discomfort to be with the ones we love, or to find a place we can live and grow and be in peace, or to find the right flavor of Sour Punch Straw. It's rarely an easy journey, but we could do each other a service if every one of us only extends even the tiniest bit of empathy...I suppose it's time to let my insect-friends loose. After all, I too would like to wander freely without the stifling gaze of unseen forces curtaining and curtailing the small joys of my small existence. Before I let them--and you--go, please consider following this humble podcast. As you know, I sprinkle in coded hints as to where the prearranged drop-off spot is in each episode.  You can then find the tooth-shaped mini-USB I have cleverly hidden somewhere in LA, download the episodes, return the device to its hidey-hole and tell your friends where to find it. It's a lot, I know. I remember it like this: follow, download, share. Follow... download...share. You can also email me at ElainemartinezDDS@LAdentalcare.org.

Remember: you are not alone out there. The provisional government is definitely reading our emails, so be, you know, nice and nondescript. Until next time, this has been Elaine Martínez, not crying, hugging you goodnight.

END OF ACT II.