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#Yandere illumi zoldyck
cheesecakethots · 1 year
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“Whore.”
You could’ve sworn the teacup in your hands cracked a little from how hard you’re gripping it. If you were Illumi, it would’ve shattered into a fine powder by now. But you’re not, which makes you susceptible to being called such things.
They’re at it again. You’re unsure as to what you’ve done to upset some of the butlers and maids, but god do they not like you. No matter. You hate everyone in this stupid boring ugly manor anyway. Huh. Maybe that’s why they hate you, too.
It must’ve been a shock to see Illumi of all people one day bring home his future wife. One he never cared to mention to anyone else beforehand, and one that was still kicking and screaming over his shoulder.
You’re not really sure how long you’ve been here. Months? A year now? However long it’s been, it didn’t take anytime at all to realise that maybe you’re not as safe here as Illumi swears you to be. His mother most definitely hates you, but, oh well, she’s never really tried anything, as far as you know.
The help started muttering things when Illumi wasn’t around, things that hurt more than you wanted to admit. When you didn’t go running off to Illumi at the first few instances of it, it got worse, as though they knew you would never tell him about it.
First off, you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being your saviour when someone says mean things to you. Secondly, you may hate these assholes, but you have a conscience.
Only last week Illumi came into your shared bedroom, absolutely drenched in blood, asking if you could shower together. You quickly found out that whoever he had been torturing wasn’t dead yet, and he still had more to do.
Thinking about what Illumi does to people he doesn’t care about, those he’s only hurting for a job, makes you shiver at the thought of him actually harming someone who did him, or you, wrong. But, despite your mercy on them, this time you’re considering just telling him. Only a little.
You’ve had a notably stressful day, being pranced around by his mother who’s insistent on ‘training’ you to be the perfect wife for her son. Her explaining to you that the family expects at least six children from you both had you rushing to the bathroom to vomit.
Then you ran into his father, on your way back to your room. He doesn’t seem to actively dislike you, but he scares the absolute shit out of you. The man seems to think you’re some house pet rather than an actual person with thoughts and feelings, but you suppose that’s a modicum better than wanting you dead.
You also bumped into Illumi’s grandfather. You’re not sure if you can bring yourself to hate him, but you do hate the look of pity in his eyes whenever he sees you. Sometimes he’ll save you from a lecture Illumi’s mother is giving you, so he’s nice in that regard. He’d never free you, though, so he’s just another kidnapper you can’t become friendly with.
You eventually got back to your room, expecting a nice nap before being forced to attend family dinner, only to find Illumi had gotten back earlier than expected. You cringed at how hungry he was, and not for food, but just allowed him to do as he wished. You were too tired to argue. After he was done, he seemed to take note of how quiet and exhausted you were. Too bad, dinner time. You hated dinner times more than anything else.
You ate the admittedly lovely food in pure silence, but quickly became sick to your stomach at hearing Illumi and his mother discuss the prospects of you becoming pregnant. You didn’t eat anymore after that. You’re pretty sure his brother, Milluki, made some comment about you that Illumi didn’t like, which explains why his wrist was snapped in half a few seconds later.
Illumi tried spoon feeding you when noticing how full your plate was, but you managed to convince him that you weren’t hungry. That got you another lecture from his mother about how you’ll soon be eating for two. You were tempted to tell her that if you ever got pregnant you’d throw yourself into Mike’s jaws, but managed to refrain.
After that, you finally got to go to bed. It wasn’t something you were looking forward to anymore; you struggled to sleep when Illumi was home because he’d spend the majority of the night just staring at you.
“Can I go outside?”
You don’t remember why you blurted it or where the thought came from, but you remember the confused blink Illumi gave in response.
“Um.. just for.. ten minutes? O-Or five..? I just want to sit in the garden by myself for a bit… If not, it’s alright..”
You hated how pathetic you sounded, unsure as to what Illumi was thinking when he stared at you with that expressionless face.
“Alright.”
“What?”
“Would you like me to ask a maid to bring you out a cup of tea?”
You didn’t really think about his words too much, just happy you got something your way for once, and nodded rather enthusiastically. You should’ve said no.
The first few minutes of being in the garden, sat on the bench and allowing the cool nights breeze to settle on your skin had you relaxing for the first time in a while.
“Your tea, mistress.”
Oh. It was one of the ones you were sure hated you, and behind him was another. Oh, well. You took the tea from his hands, thanking them nonetheless.
It was much more bitter than you liked it, but you didn’t complain. You didn’t really want tea in the first place. They didn’t leave, but you didn’t complain. Illumi probably asked them to watch over you, maybe to make sure you didn’t try to run. It’s alright, you still have a nice view to relax with.
“Whore.”
Your eyes widen a little, and your grip on the cup increases. They continue muttering amongst themselves, but you catch small, demeaning phrases that you’re certain are aimed at you.
Why are you a whore? You’d never even had sex before you met Illumi, and if you had, it wouldn’t be their business. You’re hardly allowed to interact with anyone other than who Illumi allows you to. Where would you have the chance to sleep around? The insult doesn’t make much sense.
That’s what you tell yourself, despite the fact that your shoulders and hands are shaking and you feel something cold and wet running down your cheeks.
Shit.
You put the cup on the floor, hands moving to cover your face and wipe away any evidence of tears. Illumi hated when you cried.
Why are you still crying? What they said doesn’t make any sense. Stop crying, enjoy the view. You don’t have long left before you have to go back inside.
You’re still crying. You don’t notice that it’s gone eerily silent aside from your own muffled sobs, too busy working on shutting yourself up.
“[Name].”
Shit. Shit!
He’s been sat next to you for god knows how long now, and you didn’t even realise. God, this sucks.
“Why are you crying?” Illumi asks, and you can feel him move closer to you on the bench.
“I-I’m not,” you say, a hand still covering your eyes. What excuse do you give? If you say hay fever will he never let you out in the garden again? If you say you have a cold, will he keep you inside your bedroom for a few weeks? Months?
He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel him staring at you.
“Would you like to stay outside for a bit longer?”
Oh.
“Ye-Yeah. Y-Yes please,” you eventually reply, gulping down another sob.
He doesn’t leave, but you’re less bothered by his presence than usual. Despite it being… him, it’s not horrible to have some company, even though you’d never admit it out loud.
You’re not sure how long you sit outside before he stands, prompting you to do the same. Neither of you say anything, not until you reach your bedroom and Illumi tells you in a tone softer than you’d usually hear from him that he has something he must do, so you’ll be sleeping alone tonight.
You turn to go to bed, but he grabs your wrist. He doesn’t look at you for a moment, seemingly considering something. Then, he stiffly leans forward, pressing his lips to your forehead rather robotically. Sometimes you wonder if he is a robot, it really would explain a lot.
The kiss ends soon after it begins.
“Get some rest. You look bad.”
You huff a little, but can’t bring yourself to actually be offended due to the thinly veiled concern in his tone.
The sleep you get is better than you expected. Maybe not having a mass murderer eyeing you up while you try and rest is a reason for that.
Illumi doesn’t show up for the entirety of the next day, which is a little strange. He likes seeing you off in the morning, giving you a kiss before he departs - you’re certain he copied it from a romance movie you used to enjoy watching from time to time. You don’t question his absence too much, you don’t exactly enjoy his company, after all.
The day you have is better than the last. Illumi’s mother seems to be a bit less of a bitch than usual. That’s a win in your book.
It doesn’t take long for you to be back in your warm bed, wrapped up in covers and drifting off to sleep.
You wake up to the feeling of something wet hitting the tip of your nose, and quiet breathing above you.
“Are you awake?”
You are now. It’s pitch black in the room, but you can make out Illumi looming over, his hair framing around you like some makeshift cage.
Still sleepy, you groan a little, “Illumi? What… time is it?”
Something wet hits the bed.
“2:57 AM.”
Huh. You breathe in through your nose. Illumi absolutely reeks. Metallic, is it? You’re not sure it’s the best idea to comment on it.
“Oh. Okay.”
Another drip of something onto the blanket. He doesn’t seem to be in the talking mood.
“Have I done something wrong?”
“… Yes.”
Another.
You gulp. “Are you mad at me?”
“I don’t think so.”
Another drip, this time it hits your arm.
“Are you going to hurt me?”
You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes narrow in the darkness.
“No.”
The silence is deafening. Your hands clutch onto the end of the blanket. He leans impossibly closer, and the stench of whatever is on him becomes all too familiar. He’s smelt like it before, but never this strong.
“How long were the help bothering you?”
“Since I got here.” There’s little point in trying to lie about it now.
“If you hide something from me again I’ll break three of your fingers.”
A little specific, but the threat certainly does the job.
“Okay. I’m… sorry.” You’re not.
Finally, he pulls away, eyes still trained on your face.
“Go to sleep.”
You don’t. You’re certain that you can’t, at least not for tonight. Especially not after hearing him turn the shower on, and after he’s done leave the room once more.
Instead, you sit and stare at the ceiling, and wonder if any of those in the basement will even have three fingers left of them, by the time he’s done.
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animeyanderelover · 3 months
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Anon: Soulmate AU headcanons for Akashi, Murasakibara, Aomine, Satoru Gojo, Illumi, Draco Malfoy and Inumaki Toge. I don’t have anything specific in mind besides probably a couple of details: can I ask it to be 1)meeting his soulmate for the first time for Gojo(maybe there was a prophecy when he was born) and Illumi, and 2)finding out that their s/o is the soulmate for KnB boys after they started courting them? Will they use this fact as an excuse for their actions or they can finally become less anxious and paranoid, because they “own” their darlings by fate?
Tw: Yandere themes, possessive relationship, toxic relationship, obsession, delusional behavior, stalking, clinginess, manipulation, blackmailing, guilt-tripping, isolation, abduction, paranoia, threats, violence
Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @cynniical @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59 @lovley-valentine7
Soulmate AU
Illumi Zoldyck
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🤎​A newborn baby crying, the pause of the nurse holding him as she held him before her eyes glazed over, her Nen suddenly spiking up before she spoke with a voice that didn't belong to her, declaring the boy to be incomplete for his other half, his soulmate, is not with him. A prophecy that has been following Illumi's life since he could comprehend words. It is the first story that was ever told to him, his first memory he could ever recall in full detail. The notion of a soulmate has always confused him and since he is one of the few individuals born with it, no one from his family could help him as neither one of them was born with one. He has never understood it. Is he incomplete? Is his current condition the feeling of imperfection? How will he even find his soulmate? How will he know that they are the one? What will it feel like? So many questions yet so little answers, the phenomenon of soulmates bound together by fate a rare instance that no one could give him throughout his youth any useful information.
🤎​Time flies, Illumi becomes an adult and infamous assassin yet he still remains without his destined soulmate. Though his expressionless face may not give it away, this bothers him deep down. Whilst he still doesn't know what it will feel like when he finally meets them, he only knows that there is someone out there who belongs to him and who isn't by his side. His soulmate isn't with him even if destiny has molded him and them to be made for each other. When he has free time he likes to spend it searching for hints to find a person who was also claimed to be born with a soulmate as soon as they left their mother's womb. His real attachment is limited though as it is simply the possessive courtesy of it all that pushes him to go on. Still unaware with the feelings he is about to experience, Illumi considers to take his soulmate simply as if they were an object specifically designed for him. There will be nothing wrong with it either as his soulmate is his and for that he can do what he wants to do with them.
🤎​People screaming, guns being fired, needles embedding themselves into the skull of the shooters, bodies dropping, fighting and killing. All of it is background noise to Illumi on another mission. No survivors are to be left. Black eyes dart around the room, counting all of the people attempting to flee before they are also stopped by his needles. Then his eyes land on you, the long and cold needle already in the palm of his hand. All he has to do is throw it and watch your lifeless body dropping to the ground. He has done it already hundreds of times before. His body doesn't move though. It is like every muscle in his body has turned to ice, the world suddenly narrowing down until only you and him seem to exist, even if only for a few moments. You remain leaning against the wall as he strides closer to you, walking through the bodies littering the ground all whilst black and captivating eyes do not pull away from you. The silence is thick as soon as he stops, his body only inches away from you all whilst his eyes seemingly try to glimpse into your very soul.
🤎​Cold hands suddenly grab your face, guiding your head so that your gaze is focused on him. His hands are cold and rough as if not knowing how to touch someone gently yet even if you feel the cold dread sending shivers down your spine, you find yourself unable to break eye contact with him. The man in front of you is still not saying anything, the silence thick and awkward yet you are too overwhelmed to speak up yourself. Until he finally seems to take pity on you and states bluntly that you must be his soulmate, a discovery he seems to tell himself more than you. Upon hearing those words you feel dull shock zapping through your veins. Really? This is your soulmate? You don't know how to react to the news but you don't need to think for too long either. Illumi simply knocks you out, your world submerging into darkness as he catches you whilst your legs lose their strength. He instantly returns to the Zoldyck mansion and gathers all possible information about you that he can get his hands on. As soon as you wake up, he'll already be waiting for you to explain your new situation to you. You'll stay with him. You belong to him after all and now that he has found you, he won't let you get away.
Aomine Daiki
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💙​Aomine gets to know you through Momoi as the pink-haired girl has befriended you outside of school and insists on you getting to know her childhood friend. You've heard of Aomine before as he is rather famous due to his aptitude in basketball. You won't lie, he has always appeared as a rather intimidating individual on TV but Momoi assures you that he has a good heart under that rough shell. She has to drag his lazy ass to the meeting as he is initially quite unmotivated to come and simply tags along because he knows that Momoi wouldn't give him any peace otherwise. That bored attitude of his disappears the moment he catches a glimpse of you though. Almost immediately he seems to be starstruck and he is so thoroughly unprepared for it that he nearly trips when you turn around and look at him. It's only thanks to his reflexes that he saves himself a big embarrassment on that day. Overwhelmed with the way his heart suddenly goes crazy inside of his chest though, the normally intimidating man turns rather flustered on that day but still manages to pay attention to your every word.
💙​The tables turn from that day on as he is suddenly the one bothering Momoi. He wants your number, your address and if he can't reach you Daiki turns to his friend and asks her if she can try so that he can meet you again. The fact that you attend a different high school than he does is messing with his mind daily. He's simmering with frustrated irritation that has caused his temper to worsen dangerously and on some day he skipped school completely only to turn up in your school. You're always slightly scared but you can't deny that a part of you has longed secretly for him as well. You only wish that he would be less aggressive whenever he sees you interacting with other classmates or being more touchy and friendly with your friends. It's not a secret that he wants you for himself, he has bluntly told you that much one time, promising you that he'd make you his. His words left you stunned yet you couldn't help the feeling of your heart pounding against your chest after his vow, a strange excitement rushing through your veins.
💙​You do not rush things though as you make it wordlessly clear to Aomine that you aren't that easy. You still have your own pride after all. As frustrating as that is for him at times, he'd be damned to back away from your silent challenge. Fine by him. He'll show you that he's going to fight for you. It is no surprise for Momoi when Daiki approaches her and asks her for advice on how to court you properly. She has been watching the development of you two for a while now after all and she is all too eager to help him. For a while things work out just fine as Aomine courts you like you wanted him to court you and in return you stay away from any other romantic involvement. It's during a date that things take a more dramatic turn. You felt particularly bold on that day and initiated the first kiss. The moment your lips touch his though, your mind is suddenly spammed with memories and emotions that do not belong to you. It's too much at once and frightens you. You pull away and stumble back in shock, your vision blurred as you try to comprehend what just happened.
💙​You don't get far away though as Aomine suddenly grabs you by your arms and yanks you back to him, instantly pulling you back into a rough and hungry kiss. This time there are no memories at least but your mind is still trying to recover from what you just saw all whilst your oxygen is cut off by Daiki who seemingly tries to devour you through the kiss. Only when you hit his biceps urgently does he finally pull away, giving you some time to gasp for air before he presses you against his body and keeps you there, wrapped in his arms whilst murmuring in a rumbling voice that you really are his. You are his soulmate. After that realisation settles in, Daiki sees no reason to not make your relationship official. Both of you were born for each other after all. His irritation if someone should every try to make a move on you will only increase as you belong to him in ways their shitty minds could never comprehend and he's more prone to use violence which is why you always have to stop him before he breaks someone's jaw.
Murasakibara Atsushi
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🍭​Born a normal and healthy baby, things took a unique turn when Atsushi was only a few months old. A peculiar birthmark appeared right above his pelvis in the shape of a bonbon. Its shape has always been unique and nowadays Murasakibara wonders if perhaps it is this strange mark that has made him crave sweets so much the older he grew. He may have displayed some mild interest in this birthmark of his when he was younger but as he grew older, he kind of starts to forget about its existence. After all it is just there on his body without posing any risk to his health like his parents initially fretted it to be when it just randomly appeared overnight. He doesn't really care when other people notice it either when he changes and address it to him as he treats it nonchalantly. It is strangely enough in college that for the first time he feels something going on with the birthmark. The spot starts getting hot, especially when he passes a convenience store. It isn't painful though, just noticable for him so Atsushi brushes it off. The only reason he visits the convenience store is to buy sweets and ice cream. Well, and to see you since you work part-time in there.
🍭You're pretty cute, he'll admit that much. Normally Atsushi takes longer to warm up to people around him but one flustered grin from you the first time he visited the store was all it took for his heart to beat out of his chest. The both of you seem to instantly connect with each other and the relief he feels when you tell him that you actually attend the same college as him is unspeakable, though you two have different subjects. From that day on you have this giant of a man following you around everywhere on campus but you truly don't mind as you have also struggled a bit to make new connections in the college. You always bring him snacks and sweets you could get for a discount in the store you work in since you know how much he adores such things and he always wants you to feed him the food, pretending to be too lazy to open the packages and eat them himself when in reality he just wants you to give him the attention and affection. His birthmark is noticably warm whenever he is around you, his hand sometimes subconsciously placing itself over the spot.
🍭​It is during a hot summerday that he sees it. A strong breeze sweeps through the hot streets and you stretch out your arms, relishing in the cooling wind as the weat is gathering on your temples. Your shirt is lifted up enough to show off a sliver of your skin and Atsushi's eyes are instantly drawn to it, lazily observing it before his gaze is glued to a spot right above your pelvis. You let out a startled shriek when large hands suddenly grab your waist and hold you still and you start struggling when one of his hands lifts up your shirt before tugging your pants down a bit. As soon as his fingers brush over the bonbon-shaped mark, he feels a zap of heat going straight to his own mark all whilst feeling the own drum of heat gathering on the spot on your skin. You let out a gasp when you feel it before you somehow manage to push yourself away, stumbling back before catching your balance. One of your hands clasps your birthmark before glancing at him with confused fright. As a response Atsushi wordlessly lifts his own shirt, showing off the identical mark that he has on his skin.
🍭​In hindsight it now makes all sense. The birthmark was a soulmate mark all along and appeared on the day you were born. Perhaps it's because the notion of soulmates used to be always somewhat ridiculous to him that Murasakibara never considered the mark on his body to be an indication that he had one himself. Even the instant attraction he felt upon seeing you for the first time now makes sense and through heated cheeks you admit that you felt a similar pull to him when you spotted him for the first time. The only difference seems to be that you ask for more time to come to term with the changed situation whilst Atsushi is instantly willing to skip a few steps and start a relationship. Your hesitation confuses him. You admitted to feeling the same as he does and in all of the fairy tales regarding soulmates both people almost always end up falling in love with each other and getting together instantly. Why do you want to do it differently? Both of you are going to be together anyways so you two might as well start now.
Akashi Seijuro
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🏆​Shy glances thrown in his direction, hesitating eyes always glued to his back as soon as he lets you believe that he is not looking your way all whilst being very aware of the way your eyes keep on being drawn to him. From the very first day you found out who he is, Seijuro has taken notice of your frightened curiosity in regards to him. You've never talked to him nor approached him yet he knows that you keep on looking at him only to quickly glance away as soon as his gaze meets yours. You are not the first person who has admired him like this, from a safe distance but it is the first time Akashi has found himself equally as invested. There is just something about you that demands his attention even with the writting of the first sentence his soulmate will say to him tattoed on his abdomen ever since he emerged from the womb of his mother. It's utter nonsense what is written on there, a sentence which makes absolutely no sense as if the person chose random nouns and verbs and tried to construct a sentence out of it. He has often wondered in what state of mind his soulmate must be in when conjuring up these words to him.
🏆​Recognising that you seem to be satisfied watching him idly from the distance, Akashi decides to make the first move and approach you. He waits though until he knows that you are alone before he suddenly emerges, introducing himself once more to you now that all of your attention is on him. The moment those words leave his lips and he stands in front of you, you freeze like a deer caught in the headlight. Your eyes widen and you stare at him in shock and surprise. His eyebrows furrow a tad bit when he sees your peculiar reaction but just as he is about to ask you what is wrong you bow wordlessly before fleeing the scene, leaving him standing there stunned. Soon Akashi learns that this seems to be a common thing you love to do as soon as you spot him. The moment you spot him you turn the opposite direction as if both of you are like poles of a magnet who repel each other. Another thing he notices is that you never talk to him directly. You either shake or nod your head or talk to one of your friends whilst answering his question without speaking to him. It's an insult and low-key disrespectful, only adding to his growing frustration.
🏆​He feels his darker self slowly emerging as you keep on avoiding him, scheming and wondering if he should perhaps resort to other methods which would get him to his goal even if it means blackmailing you. One last chance. He decides to give you one last chance by using the school principal and convince him to tell you to visit the office later. The moment you are inside and are slightly confused when finding no one inside, he also steps into the room and locks the door up. His gaze is sharp, a contrast to his deceivingly soothing words as he assures you that he just wants to talk with you. Your eyes dart nervously around as you look in that moment more like a cornered animal than anything. You grit your teeth as he demands in a soft tone that you talk to him as Seijuro can almost see the way the gears turn in your head before you ball your hands into fist and open your mouth, spitting out whatever random words your mind produces in that moment. Deadly silence befalls the room and when you dare to hesitantly open your eyes and glance at his face, you nearly scramble away as you see his pupils quivering whilst he stares at you with gleaming eyes.
🏆​He doesn't say anything, instead his fingers unbutton his uniform. You ask him frightened what he is doing before he reveals his abdomen to you, your eyes landing on the writing etched onto his skin. You are in utter disbelief that the jumble of words you just spat out is actually engraved on his skin. His voice slices through the room as he demands you to show him your own writing, leaving no room for objection. You hesitantly tug down your own uniform to show him the tattoo on your collarbone and he clenches his jaw the moment he sees his own name engraved on it, recalling instantly that this was the first thing he ever said to you. You knew. Even before both of you had spoken a word to each other you had already known about him being your soulmate. Why did you never tell him? He doesn't allow you to leave the room until you have told him everything, anger and disappointment tightly woven into each other. You find yourself unable to lie anymore and just admit to him that his status as well as the rumors you heard of him intimidated you. He can only let out a dry chuckle as he grasps your hands and presses a kiss against your knuckles. Now, who filled your head with such nonsense?
Inumaki Toge
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🗣️​There has always been a voice inside his head, an internal voice that organised his thoughts and held his inner monologues. He's been told that a lot of people have such an internal voice yet he has always wondered if his internal voice is supposed to be one that doesn't belong to him. He has never heard the voice inside of his head before yet it is still there and always holds his inner monologues and thoughts for him. Toge knows this voice in his head better than he knows what his own voice sounds like as he rarely speaks and if he does, he does so in only short words by using ingredients to not endanger anyone with his abilities. At one point he decides that perhaps the voice really is just a product of his own mind or he did actually meet someone with that voice before but simply forgot whilst his mind somehow still remembers. As he grows older, the voice inside his head also matures and he wonders if that is simply because his mind is trying to tell him that he has also matured.
🗣️​Then one day he hears the voice in his head. Only that this time it isn't confined to only his own mind. No, his ears pick up the soud of a voice that he is more familiar with than with the sound of his own mind. A sudden urge to turn around overcomes him and as if he were possessed he acts on this urge as he suddenly walks through the streets, desperately trying to find the source of the voice. Then he spots the source of the voice and his body instantly stops. Only a few feet away from him are you, on your phone as you busily discuss something with someone without even noticing his presence. A weird warmth washes over him as he hears you talking energetically whilst you walk through the street and without noticing it, Inumaki starts following you. He loses any feeling of time as he slowly walks behind you, his eyes never leaving your back. Apparently you notice him at one point though as you suddenly turn around, your eyes narrowing as you spot him. That's when he suddenly seems to regain his senses and leave his trance as he bows sheepishly before turning around and leaving.
🗣️​The voice is gone from that day on. There is no familiar sound inside of his head anymore and the emptiness almost overhwelms him. He blasts music into his ears all in an attempt to blend out the silence that rings louder than anything else he has ever perceived and he finds himself missing the sound of a voice, a voice that has belonged all of his life to you. Toge knows that he has to see you again, knows that he somehow needs to find a way to discuss with you what is going on. If he has been hearing your voice inside of his head for his entire life, do you perhaps still experience hearing his voice inside of your head? He stopped hearing his internal voice when he heard the real source of it but you haven't heard his voice. Does that mean that you still can hear him inside of your mind? He spends days wandering through Tokyo in desperate attempts to find you yet finding the infamous needle in the haystack would have been an easier task than finding you between millions of people. A lump of anxiety and stress rests in his gut as he feels himself growing quite anxious. Until he finds you one day in the same spot where he found you first. It's almost as if you have been waiting for him...
🗣️​He leads you to a more isolated place where the both of you can enjoy more privacy before he tentatively speaks in the only language he can use to not activate his abilities. Your face morphs into confused shock when you hear him suddenly saying the name of an ingredient but above all it is the sheer familiarity in his voice that completely catches you by surprise. Once again your eyes narrow as you observe him and the hint of apprehension and distrust in your gaze almost breaks his heart. He does not want you to look at him like this. You ask him who he is and Inumaki knows that he has a lot of explaining to do, especially since you are a non-sorcerer. He tries to be gentle and careful as he slowly introduces you to a world you did not know of prior to meeting him as well as the concept of soulmates that is more commonly known amongst people who are able to control and use cursed energy than normal humans like you. He finds himself longing for the sound of your voice since he's been listening to it since his youngest days and tries to communicate more with you as well since you probably feel the same.
Gojo Satoru
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🩵​Gojo Satoru has always been the special one. From the moment he was first born into the world, he was gifted with power that would be feared by everybody. Perhaps it is because fate already knew of the lonely future he would be burdened with as the strongest sorcerer of his time that he was given a soulmate. A prophecy that befell the eldest of the Gojo clan who proclaimed that his soulmate would be the only one who Gojo would be able to truly see and that his soulmate would likewise be the only one who would be able to truly perceive him. The prophecy was strictly kept as a secret though, even from Satoru as no one knew what would happen if information would leak outside. From his youngest days on countless people tried to murder him, to restore the balance of the sorcerer world that had been thrown out of bounds the moment he had been born. Only when Satoru was deemed to be old enough did the clan decide to tell him the truth of the prophecy that had appeared when he was born and he was warned to strictly keep it a secret as he was reminded that other people were just waiting for a weakness they could use against him.
🩵​Satoru, who had already been disillusioned from any innocence from a very young age on, complied surprisingly enough with the wishes of his clan. He knew best after all how many people wanted him dead and to what lengths they were willing to go to murder him. They wouldn't bat their eyelashes to spare an innocent person or even non-sorcerers. He sometimes wonders what it would be like to meet his soulmate and what the prophecy meant by proclaiming that his soulmate would be the only person he would be able to truly see. Another part of him hoped that he would never find you as he grew older and experienced the true loneliness that came with being Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer and tool of his world. Perhaps he'd never meet you in the first place and as much loneliness that thought brought him sometimes, even more than he already felt deep down, he tried to come to terms with that thought. It would be best for his life as well as your life if the both of you would never meet.
🩵​A gasp of air is heard behind him as someone collides with his body, bags carrying groceries drop to the ground as he feels smaller arms wrapping themselves around his waist so that that the person doesn't lose their balance. Such a simple touch yet his whole body reacts. A warmth he has never felt before prickles his skin as he can perceive his own heartbeat speeding up as waves of feelings pulse through his body. He turns around, removing the sunglasses he is wearing as his eyes land on you who is still clinging to his torso before your gaze also moves up and you instantly let go. You apologise, embarrassed and sheepish as you bow over and over again all whilst Satoru looks at you in disbelief. He sees you. Not his Six Eyes. His actual human eyes see you. And you touched him. You broke through his Infinity as if it was nothing and touched him, stumbled against him and now panic whilst apologising over and over again, unaware of who he is. It's like he experiences a tunnel vision as he blurs everything out, only perceiving you with basic human senses as he experiences something that is incredibly hard to explain with words.
🩵​It's only when he feels your hand grasping his shoulder and shaking him carefully that he is suddenly brought back to the real world. You look worried at him and when you ask him why he is crying, Satoru suddenly realises the wetness dripping down his cheeks. He's crying. Whatever it was he just experienced, it was enough to bring him to tears. You offer him a tissue to wipe his tears away before you gather your bags that fell on the ground again, not minding your surroundings. But Satoru does. Suddenly the noises and the liveliness of the city is anxiety-inducing. Blue eyes dart back and forth, trying to perceive anyone or anything that could pose a threat to you whilst you innocently collect your bags, oblivious to the inner turmoil he experiences. It is only when you stand up again and awkwardly bid him your goodbye that his hand reaches out and wraps carefully around your wrist, forcing you to stop and turn around to look at him again. You want to say something but one glance into those bright blue orbs punches all air out of your lungs, too many emotions staring back at you all at once.
Draco Malfoy
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You've always despised Malfoy from the very first year of Hogwarts. Slytherin students have already a reputation for being arrogant and evil but he has always been an especially big pain in the arse. His family is pure-blooded and rich and he embodies everything you loathe about the ideologies of some wizards and witches in this world. You're in a different house than him and you are immensely proud of that yet share a lot of classes with Draco and are constantly submitted to his condescending remarks and his pathetic tries to get your attention. No matter what you do, he always seems to just wait for the next chance to embarrass and provoke you, especially once you befriend Harry and his circle of friends. He scoffs at you, jokes within earshot of you how fitting it is for you as a loser to join the group of weaklings. Ron and Hermione had to stop Harry and you more than once from throwing spells with him and his friends, Hermione always reminding you that this is exactly what Malyfoy wants.
You think he just hates you but that could not be further away from the truth. In fact Malfoy actually is utterly infatuated with you but is clueless and overwhelmed with those feelings. He wants you to love him yet you can't stand him and instead have chosen Potter and the mudbloods over him. Why? What do these people have that he doesn't? Insulted and hurt with his feelings he started to spite you to release some of the bitterness he feels due to your decision but mainly because deep down he is just desperate for your attention. Worst of all is that throughout the years you learn to control yourself better. Instead of hating on him you now just glance at him as if he was a slimy worm under the heel of your shoes and it drives him mad when you observe him with such a cold gaze. How dare you... How dare you to look at him as if he were no better than an insect?! Do you even know what his family is capable of?! The more indifferent you treat him, the more extreme his attempts to get your attention get. Look at him! Just look at him for once with all of your undivided attention!!
Then he goes too far when he targets your friends. The very same day he receives a note from you where you challenge him to a duel, furious and fed up with his attitude. Your anger is only fueled when he brings Crabbe and Goyle with him. You lash out, call him a wimp and a coward before he hisses at you to shut up. Please...he just wants to talk with you. He knows that this is a rare chance, to have you all alone like this so he uses it to do the unlikely. He confesses to you. He admits to you how he has been feeling for all those years, insults you by openly telling you how he feels about the friends you chose over him. You're dumbfounded by the end of his rant, your mind utterly stunned for a moment before your face twists into a disgusted sneer that Draco feels to the marrow of his bones. You opt to just leave instead without even saying anything, only angering the desperate boy even more as he grabs you, his skin touching yours. A sharp and burning pain suddenly cuts through your wrist and Malfoy feels the same as he stumbles back and lets out a string of curses, clutching his wrist before his eyes widen as he looks at your name being etched onto it whilst you stare at his name being etched onto yours.
You threaten him on that night with your wand pressed against his temple to not tell a single soul about this. The very next day as you walk into the hall for breakfast you are instantly flooded by other students from all houses, one of them tugging the sleeves away from your wrist to reveal his name written on it. Some are shocked, others jealous and you receive a punishment later that day for chasing after Draco and firing spells at him. You're enraged beyond words. Of course he'd run his pathetic mouth to state to everyone that you are his simply to feel like he has any sort of control over you. You avoid him like the pest from that day on and as a result he only gets more unbearable. Some of your friends approach him and tell him that just because you two are soulmates you do not belong to him and he flips out and hisses at them that they don't know anything. You are his. If at all, they should stop acting like you belong to them. Eventually you find yourself with a letter in your hand, the name Lucius Malfoy telling you all you need to know even before opening it and reading the content where you are 'friendly' invited to visit them during the holidays.
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cheenapri · 6 months
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Transactional [Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x Reader]
Day one
Summary: Illumi had decided to spoil you for once, little did you know how much it would cost you in the end.
Word count: 7.6k
Notes: yandere, kidnapping, gender neutral reader, unhealthy relationships, unbalanced power dynamics, mentions of past abuse, Illumi is kind of an asshole but when is he not, reader is not having a good time
Day two + three Day four + five
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Shit.
Why didn’t you figure this out sooner?
You had deluded yourself into believing that maybe he felt bad, that he had actually changed for the better, for your wellbeing, that he actually wanted to treat you for once just to make you happy.
Of course not.
There’s always a catch. It was chiefly for his benefit under the guise of strengthening the involuntary relationship you had with him.
“Fate brought you to me. And thus, it is my duty to protect you.” he explained over and over during his many lectures, trying to drill it into you. 
He had only given the illusion of change.
You held your breath, his body looming over you with one hand interlaced with your own and the other straddling your hip to keep you still. He left bite marks on your neck, too rough and inexperienced to be interpreted as anything affectionate, though what he intended, blood quick to seep out of the wounds. He had slowly lapped it up, taking far too long for it to be seen as any sort of foreplay. A part of you wondered if he changed his mind and decided to cannibalize you instead. 
He didn’t really care how strange his actions were, though. He had you right where he wanted you — where you should’ve been long ago. He moved like he was following a script; his long, black hair draped down as he went in for more “love bites”. His face was expressionless as always, cementing just how empty this relationship was. How did he develop such a twisted sense of love?
You question why he even bothered preparing you for this, though you appreciated it for once, as he took the time to organize a five day vacation with you – or rather order the butlers to organize it. What was the point? Everything was lifeless and awkward, just like back at the estate. Was this the only sense of normality he was willing to give you? 
Your mind recalls when it was first announced to you, it was through your appointed butler, Shiori. Shiori was around the same age as you, chosen deliberately to increase your chances of opening up to her. He gave her the task, having her inquire about your likes and dislikes, favorite hobbies, movies, fashion taste and more just so he could surprise you with it later. You assumed he’s either too awkward or doesn’t care enough to learn about your interests directly from your own mouth.
Sitting at a white desk in your prison of a master bedroom, you assembled a DIY house kit. It was a little greenhouse, the tediousness of it giving you something to do while you tried to maintain your sanity. The room was windowless, the walls soundproof, and there was only one door, a titanium maximum security door that could only be opened with his permission. A security camera with a speaker loomed above you, seemingly always pointing directly at you.
You try not to think about how many times he’s watched you through that camera.
The distant sound of one of the security gates opening catches your ears. Someone’s coming. 
You set the tweezers down, heart quickening as you continue listening. It doesn’t take long for the door to be unlocked, the multiple clicks ringing throughout the silent room. Audible footsteps could be heard, causing you to relax a little as that was your indication it wasn’t him. You turn as Shiori emerges, swiftly locking the door behind her and standing with her white gloved fingers interlaced neatly in front of her. She smiles at you and you return a half hearted one. 
“Good evening, Master (Name).” she bows her head with formality, her short brown and blonde hair briefly falling over her face. She straightens up again and quickly fixes her hair. “The Master has a message for you. You are to freshen up and dress yourself, you will be escorted outside shortly.”
Your interest immediately piqued. You had only been outside of this room once since you got here – when you attempted your first escape. It was during a time when you had a different assigned butler named Junpei. Junpei had fallen for you in their short time taking care of you, bonding with you in ways no other butler would ever be able to. They were genuine, they actually cared about you and your well-being rather than what their employer had tasked them with. There were no cameras in the room at the time so the two of you made plans to escape whenever they visited under the guise of wanting to keep you company. Unfortunately for you, your captor had already planned for something like this, though he didn’t think anyone had the gall to actually up and do it. Both your and Junpei’s heart dropped to your feet when you saw him standing menacingly outside the first security gate. He was silent, but his bloodthirsty aura spoke for him. You soon found out what it sounds like to physically rip someone apart with bare hands. You actually thought you'd die that night as you found yourself unable to breathe or even think amidst his extreme, malicious aura, eyes widening further when he questions if you truly loved Junpei. You never want to see him like that ever again. 
You were let off with a broken ankle and no one spoke of the incident again. 
Shiori could see your confusion mixed with awe. “That is all I can tell you, Master (Name). It would be best for you to begin preparing yourself now.”
You slowly stood up, looking at your project for a moment as you pondered what he may have been planning. This was strange. He definitely wasn’t rewarding you for good behavior. You’ve already tried that route of buttering him up in hopes he’d let his guard down; he, in fact, did not and you were punished for dishonesty. How would he know what true love was anyway?
You make your way to the large, luxury bathroom, turning on the warm water and letting the shower run for a bit. You hear Shiori’s footsteps through the door, assuming she’s going through your wardrobe and picking your outfit at his request. You hate him. 
You slowly stepped into the tub, the warm water embracing you like a comforting hug. Hot showers restored a bit of your sanity. You liked to stand there and allow the water to splash onto you, imagining you were anywhere but in this hellhole. Shiori, however, encourages you to pick up your speed, well aware of your tendency to reminisce in the shower for far too long. You sigh, stepping out of the tub and finishing your routine. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror, not wanting to see what months of stress had done to your features. You threw on a fluffy robe before leaving the bathroom. There was an outfit sprawled out on the bed, one you knew he really liked on you though he’s never admitted it, only staring longer than he should.
“Is this some kind of special event?” You ask sarcastically.
It’s a rhetorical question, but Shiori humors you regardless.
“The Master is in a good mood today.” she smiles gently, her voice somewhat monotone. 
She reminded you of him in a way. Why did she even choose to work here? You stare at the outfit for a moment, reluctant to even touch it. Shiori notices your uneasiness, fully understanding your anxiety but feigning ignorance nonetheless. “Is something the matter, Master (Name)?”
“I have a bad feeling about this.”
Your anxiety continues to build. Everything in your strange, unstable relationship with him has been purely transactional. Want dessert? Speak kindly to him. Want a new video game to play? Butter him up but be careful not to overdo it, there’s only so much dishonesty he could allow. Want the privilege of having a full belly for the next three days? Behave. Do everything he says without question, regardless if you have to swallow your pride. So despite all of this, why was he suddenly treating you so graciously? Allowing you to leave your prison cell masterfully decorated to resemble a bedroom belonging to a ten million dollar mansion?
Shiori chuckles a bit. You’re aware of how disingenuous it sounds, but you don’t comment on it. “You shouldn’t worry yourself, Master (Name). The Master has been planning this for a while now, I’m sure you will enjoy yourself.”
Great, now you’re worried Shiori has said too much. You’re no stranger to how strict the Zoldyck family is with their servants, how strict he must be with Shiori. You think of what happened to Junpei again, of the desperate pleas that fell upon deaf ears as he continued to mutilate them, how his expression seemed more uncanny than usual.
Shivering at the thought of it, you drop the topic, not wanting to continue to allow her to dig her own grave but grateful for the hints. You remove your robe, ignoring Shiori’s presence as you’ve changed in front of her countless times, and put on the outfit along with your assigned shoes. 
Shiori confirms that you’re ready before the two of you move to stand in front of the large security door. To say you were apprehensive was an understatement. Perhaps this was your chance to finally escape? No, that would be stupid. Obviously he’d already accounted for that, most likely had medical professionals on standby in case he needed to break your ankle again. Maybe he’d break both of them this time or even saw your legs off. You wouldn’t put it past him.
The multiple clicks of the locks could be heard again before the door was pulled open, multiple butlers on the other side. Shiori steps out and you’re hesitant to follow, not wanting to give away how eager and ready to bolt you were. Not like you could anyway, not with five highly skilled butlers watching your every move. 
Not a word was spoken as they escorted you through the two security gates, your eyes stinging when sunlight poured over you. 
You’re outside. 
You’re actually outside.
You would scream and cry if the situation was different, falling to your knees and feeling the grass on your hands in your frenzied state. 
You look around, taking a mental note of every little thing. You could see the Zoldyck’s mansion in the distance, far away from your separate living structure. Good. 
“Eyes forward, (Name).”
The sudden order breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whips forward while your eyes move to look at the source of the voice. It was a taller, older lady with pink, pigtail type hair. She must’ve been serving the Zoldycks for a long time. She’s silent, giving you a stern look before turning forward again. You fight the urge to look around, to run even, as you’re led through the forest that surrounds the estate.
“Where are we going?” you couldn’t help but ask. Your voice is somewhat soft and timid, but it’s clear they all heard you. 
“It’s just up ahead, Master (Name).” Shiori answers, her hands now folded behind her.
You’re taking in as much information as you can without actually looking around, taking note of the distance between the Butler’s Quarters and your prison cell. Approximately one hundred fifty seven steps, you’ve been counting. An additional two hundred seventy four steps from the Butler’s Quarters to the front gate. Would you even remember this information?
One of the butlers effortlessly pushes open the giant front gate, the feat reminding you just how weak you truly are. Those gates weigh four tons and the bigger gates above it are many times heavier. 
You can’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. A part of you fully believed he had come to his senses and was releasing you like some wild animal, throwing you off of the property and leaving you to fend for yourself. Surely it would be better than going back to that room. 
Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case. Instead of throwing you out and shutting the gate behind them, the butlers led you to a black Mercedes truck sitting in wait.
Your head hurts. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Typical reaction when you know he’s near. You could just die right now. You knew you were bound to see him again, but that doesn’t repress the dread it fills you with.
He’s staring at you through the tinted windows, you can’t see him — you just know it. You don’t want to see him, you haven't had enough time to mentally prepare; you’ll never have enough time to mentally prepare. Shiori steps ahead of you, opening the passage to hell as the Devil himself sits patiently, his black, empty eyes gazing upon you.
You nearly vomit.
You swallow hard, holding your breath in an attempt to mellow out your facial features as you climb into the backseat. You didn’t acknowledge him yet, slowly buckling your seatbelt and staring at Shiori with widened eyes as she shuts the door, sealing you inside with that monster.
It’s suffocating.
Overwhelming.
You forgot to breathe.
Sucking in sharp breaths, you shut your eyes tightly. The silence is deafening. He’s waiting on you. For once.
“H-hello… Illumi.” saying his name was the equivalent of swallowing a cup of hydrochloric acid. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth, pains your throat, your stomach, everything. 
Illumi hums in approval. “Hm. I’m thankful you hadn’t forgotten your manners, (Name). I thought I’d have to discipline you sooner than I anticipated.” you hear him shift, surely turning to fully face you. “I won’t need to, right?” his monotone voice does your ears a disservice despite its smoothness.
“No.” you quickly wipe your eyes, knowing how much he hates seeing your tears. 
You finally force yourself to look up at him, his piercing, cat-like eyes filling you with the unwavering desire to do something drastic. Maybe throw yourself out of the car when it’s moving and hope it runs you over, killing you in the process. 
You look away just as quickly, tightly gripping your pants to quell the need to gouge your eyes out. At least you wouldn’t have to look at him then. He shifts again, facing forward but not looking away from you. “I’ll assume you’re overwhelmed. You’ve missed me so much you don’t know how to convey it.”
“I didn’t miss you. I actually had hoped you died and I’d never have to see you again.” is what you would say if you were fond of getting the life strangled out of you. Instead, you stay silent, staring at your hands intertwined on your lap. 
“What have you been getting up to?”
Shouldn’t he already know? Shiori is his human security camera plus the actual security camera he has in your enclosure. What are you even supposed to say to this? You’ve been rotting in bed and crying your eyes out because you can’t leave? You had thought of creative ways to end your own life? He’d have you restrained to your bed for all eternity if you mentioned that last one. 
“Nothing of interest.” is all you say.
“Tell me. I want to hear it.”
Bastard’s trying to force conversation. 
“I’m working on that greenhouse project Shiori had given me-”
“I had given you.” he corrects. Silence falls over the two of you as the car finally begins to drive off. 
Illumi was always out on missions or some other job, how were you supposed to know it was a gift from him? You wouldn’t have touched it otherwise, preferring to rot in bed than encourage him in the slightest. You’re actually thankful for his extended time spent away doing fuck all, not seeing yourself surviving if you had to physically endure him day and night constantly. Hell, you were barely keeping your composure just sitting next to him and you’d only seen him for two minutes. 
“Thank you.” not knowing what else to say, you simply thank him, hoping he’d be satisfied with just that and leave you alone. 
“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’ve been doing?”
Of course he doesn’t.
“Killing people?” you state the obvious, hoping he wouldn’t interpret that as you trying to be smart. Assassinating people is his job, it only makes sense to assume that’s what he’s been doing. You wish he’d kill you and get it over with. 
“Naturally. Take a better guess.” what the hell does he want from you? You don’t know anything significant about him to be able to give a good guess. You’re clearly stunted, your lack of a response giving it away. He narrows his eyes slightly, reaching out which causes you to flinch. He retracts his hand momentarily upon seeing your reaction before going in again slowly, softly cupping your chin and guiding your head to look at him. “Do you assume I don’t think about you?”
What? He must be fucking with you.
Illumi brings forth his other hand just as slowly, now gently cupping your face with both. You were always shocked by how smooth and soft his hands were. They’re cold though.
“Answer me.”
His owlish eyes were staring directly into your soul, almost hypnotizing you. You shift your head and look away. If you were as bold as you used to be, you would’ve swung on him by now, turning his gentle hands cupping your face into violent claws gripping your throat. It took many lessons for you to learn that you simply could not fight him.
He backs down and lets go of you when you fail to answer, pulling his hands into his lap again. He was aware of your fear, he found twisted comfort in it, believing it would keep you glued to his side. You glance in his general direction but not at his face. He was wearing that purple outfit again and his long, black hair was as silky as ever.
“Aren’t you curious as to where we’re going?” 
He sure was talkative today; Shiori did mention he was in a good mood. He’s usually very blank, even around you, his supposed partner. It forced you to learn to read his emotions using his micro expressions, tone, silent indicators, and of course aura. Aura was mainly reserved for more intense emotions, ones you should avoid inducing at all costs.
You were always on edge whenever you were around him, and this unusual shift in attitude didn’t help. 
“So where are we going?” you finally ask.
“You’ll see when we get there.”
Motherfucker. 
You don’t respond, looking away from him in favor of staring out of the window. You were seated awkwardly, not fully allowing yourself to relax, not that you could in the presence of Illumi. You could almost drown him out completely if it weren’t for his uncanny staring, something you still couldn’t get used to. He barely blinks; it reminds you of some sort of Creepypasta.
“Talk to me.”
It was an order.
“I don’t know what to say to you.” your voice was quiet. You’re really not in the mood to speak right now, especially not to him. This wouldn’t do, however, as Illumi was determined — something that proves to never end well for you. 
“You can talk about anything you want.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“(Name),” it was a warning, a hint of irritation laced his otherwise monotone voice. “Do you really not have anything to talk about… or do you just not want to?”
You didn’t want to clearly, but you also didn’t want to taste his wrath. 
“Could you tell me about your day?” you chose to interview him instead, hoping that if you got him to talk in length, you wouldn’t have to. He brings his hand up to his chin as if he was thinking, his eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was robbing you of your life energy just by looking at you. 
“My day?” he repeated the question, falling silent for a few moments before speaking once more. “If I told you, that would ruin the surprise.”
You reply with a mere “oh” before looking out of the window once again. 
“(Name).”
He’s never been this persistent for your attention before. All the times he’s returned home and “spent time” with you mainly consisted of the two of you sitting in silence while he watched you do nothing; an occasional short and awkward conversation. It felt more like he was being forced to interact with you rather than wanting to on his own volition, despite him being the one keeping you there. 
“I’m sorry, Illumi.” 
You only said his name when you were trying to soothe him, hoping to avoid consequence. He knew that, but he wouldn’t admit that it indeed worked. The slight drooping of his shoulders betrayed him every time, however. 
He doesn’t accept nor reject your insincere apology, choosing to silently savor your calling of his name. You will never understand him.
“I answered you, now it’s your turn to talk. Tell me about your home life.”
This question immediately raised flags. He’s never asked you something like this, let alone allow you to cry about it. You look at him, eyes slightly widen for a brief moment. Was he only bringing this up to bait you into talking? “Don’t you already know everything about me?” 
He indeed did. He made it known to you that he’d stalked you for five months before making his move, talking about it as if he was stating what he had for lunch. He had no sense of morality, no awareness as to how his extreme actions affected others. He’s insane.
You’ve noticed a slight change in his stare. You’re pissing him off.
“I want you to tell me.”
“Uh,” you quickly scrambled for things to say, “I had my own house and car as well as a really good high paying job.” you used “had” for a reason. You were positive that all your assets were repossessed when search parties couldn’t find you and weeks were flying by without a single clue regarding your whereabouts. Illumi keeps staring, quietly pressing you to continue. 
“I had a really sweet dog.” you used “had” again. You don’t recall all the details of that night, only that you had gotten a rude shock when you woke up to a strange man in your bedroom. Surely you would have woken up sooner if you heard something happen, but you didn’t. You decided to ask what you were always afraid to ask before, taking advantage of this moment to finally get closure. “Are… are they okay? My dog?”
Your hesitation was obvious. Nothing good ever happened whenever you brought up members of what he refers to as “your past life.” you were positive he intended for you to talk about things you did alone rather than actual people or living beings you connected with. They didn’t exist anymore, according to him. They don’t matter. Don’t talk about them. 
“Your dog is dead.” 
You’d been preparing for this moment for months now, but the bluntness of his answer still hit you like a truck. “H-huh?”
“Your dog is dead.” he repeated again with no sense of remorse. ”I didn’t want to risk it alerting you to my presence, so I killed it.”
Something felt off that night, your dog was more anxious than usual, pacing back and forth and staring out certain windows. They even refused to go outside when you tried to let them out, their tail tucked between their legs and fur standing on edge. You should’ve known. You should’ve taken them and ran.
It was even worse that you also ignored all those strange people you had met that week. They all had a gold piercing sticking out of some part of their head, almost like a needle. Their words were slurred and their movements puppet-like as they asked you unsettling questions. “Do you have a romantic interest?” as well as  “Do you have any exes?” and “Do you live alone?”
That should’ve been your sign to get the hell out of there. 
Illumi tilts his head and watches you attempt to bottle your emotions. Your hands gripping the fabric of your pants tightly as you bit your lip, your heart was hurting. You’d already mourned for your dear pet, assuming that killer had taken their life when he broke into your house, but still having slight hope that he had spared them. 
Why had he even bothered to answer your question let alone allow you to ask it?
He doesn’t initiate anymore conversation for the rest of the car ride, thankfully, allowing you to simmer in your emotions. That doesn’t mean he averts his attention from you, though. 
The car finally pulls into a parking lot belonging to a grand, luxurious hotel. You’re as confused as you are shocked. The parking lot is empty aside from several black Mercedes trucks holding Zoldyck butlers and presumably cars belonging to the hotel’s employees. It’s a normal working day and this is a well known, upscale hotel, so why was it so empty? 
Illumi looks away from you for the first time since you’ve entered the car, pulling the door’s handle and exiting the vehicle. You didn’t move, you’re too afraid to, you didn’t want to make the wrong move. 
Shiori approaches your side of the truck, but Illumi steps in front of her, opening the door for you and holding out his hand. You slowly unbuckled your seatbelt and attempted to slide past him, he only grabbed you and placed you back into the car before extending his hand again, silently commanding you to take it. He took note of your blatant disobedience, but said nothing, deciding against giving you a much desired punishment. He took what he considered to be a softer approach, giving you a chance to correct your mistakes. 
Feeling as though he’s one inconvenience away from breaking you, you hesitantly take his hand. His grip was firm, his assistance useless. He ignored your attempt at pulling your hand free the second your foot touched the ground, choosing to let go only after both feet were firmly planted. 
Illumi doesn’t explain the situation as he begins walking with you in tow, Shiori and some other butlers trailing behind the both of you. Butlers were all over the place actually, standing guard as if this was a maximum security prison rather than a hotel. You feel like they’re all watching you, fully expecting you to try something in vain. You don’t blame them, if you had super speed, you would’ve run off by now. 
The hotel was completely vacant of people, aside from more butlers and concerned hotel employees. As you enter the lobby, your eyes lingered on the receptionist, praying they had seen your missing person’s report months earlier; if it had even been reported as such. They only look down, guilt seemingly spread across their face. Were they threatened or perhaps even paid off to stay silent? 
Who knows.
The silence was louder than the shuffling of the butlers’ footsteps or the tune of the faint jazz music coming from the ballroom. A butler approaches Illumi and informs him that all preparations were ready, earning them a nod in response. You silently follow as the both of you are led away, the uneasiness on your face evident to anyone who dared to look at it. 
The butler soon stops in front of a particular door far at the end of a long hallway. The space felt liminal, you’d almost think you’d gotten sucked into a different reality if the two people next to you weren’t present. The butler bows slightly before leaving you and Illumi alone. He looked at you, like he was trying to read your expression, before twisting the door’s handle and revealing the room’s interior. 
He must’ve paid a fortune. The room was large, decorated with luscious furniture you couldn’t even begin to think about affording. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room, a flatscreen TV almost as wide as the bed propped on the wall in front of it, a glass sliding door leading to a balcony on the far right, and a lounge chair in the corner to say the least. 
You awkwardly step into the room, hugging yourself as you attempt to make sense of the situation; taking note of the clicking of the door’s lock. 
“Well, here we are.”
His lack of enthusiasm spoiled the mood. Not that the mood was bright anyway.
“So… what’s the point of this?” your voice was a bit low and shy. He didn’t like it, he’d have to chip away at that. He had bigger things to be upset over, however, as you appear, or choose to pretend, to not understand what’s going on. His intentions should’ve been obvious by now. He doesn’t respond right away, causing you to ask yet another ignorant question. “Are we attending some kind of special event?”
“No.” his answer was short, intentionally vague to encourage you to figure it out yourself. Illumi casually moves about the room while you continue to stand in the same spot, presumably checking for himself to make sure that everything was in place. You were on edge, that much was apparent as he stopped a few feet in front of you. “Do you like the room?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I will be back.”
You feel a slight wind as he walks past you, a little too close considering the amount of space around you. You immediately relax once he’s gone, taking a few deep breaths as you cautiously inspect the room. The thought of trying the handle to see if he’d locked it behind him doesn’t even cross your mind, the odds were against you and you knew that. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try the balcony door, however.
It was locked, just as you’d guessed. 
Sitting on the edge of the bed and resting your head in your hands, you think in vain of a possible escape. Maybe when he leaves you alone again, you could use something to break the glass then use the bed sheets to craft a makeshift rope? The problem with that is the bedsheets wouldn’t serve you as you were several stories off the ground. Your plan didn’t even account for what you’d do if you even reached the ground as you were sure Zoldyck butlers surrounded the premises.
You decided it was best to just roll with it, see where this was going. Maybe you could exploit him as he does seem to be more lenient with you. 
The door clicks and it opens, Illumi standing in the doorway looking in at you, noticing how much more relaxed you appeared to be in his absence. He motions for you to follow and you do so without fuss. 
Following him down the long hallway felt surreal, you couldn’t hear anything aside from your own footsteps as his were completely silent; traits of an elite assassin. You watch as his long, black hair swayed behind him, almost glaring as you study his robotic movements. He doesn’t feel real.
The two of you entered the hotel’s restaurant, it was just as desolate of other patrons as the rest of the place. You were led to a lone, two person table placed next to the glass wall, the table’s decorations stood out amongst the others as its setting included rose petals and candles. 
Corny. You don’t like this.
You take your seat, now being forced to fully face him for who knows how long. You turn your head to the right, looking out of the window. Your breath hitches as you notice people in the far distance. People. Actual people clueless as to what’s happening to you right now. You give Illumi a side stare, his blank yet judgemental one challenging yours.
“Where is everyone?” you couldn’t help but ask despite knowing it was a question he did not want to hear. 
“They aren’t important.”
Why should they matter? They’d only interfere and distract you from what’s important: him. You should only be focused on him and his efforts to please you. 
“So what exactly is this?”
Your inability, or unwillingness, to comprehend the situation was beginning to annoy him. Wasn’t it clear? Did the dim lighting and candles not give it away? The rose petals on the table? The romantic — or what he deemed to be romantic — atmosphere? 
“It’s a romantic dinner.”
He didn’t offer any further details, upset he had to state that it was a date rather than let his efforts speak for him. You were sitting across from him, the two of you were almost completely alone. This was a date.
“All of a sudden, though? You never let me leave that room before.”
“Why does it matter?” his tone was still flat. 
Illumi couldn’t believe you’d question his acts of kindness. He was doing it because he wanted to treat you for once, deciding to take you somewhere appropriate and fitting to your taste. 
“I’m just trying to understand you.” you state, holding your hands together on the table as a self soothing mechanism. 
“You don’t need to understand me.” his voice hinted at the tiniest bit of annoyance. He had no need to explain his actions, he had his reasons and that’s all you needed to know. “Just enjoy the dinner.”
You say nothing as you turn your attention to the only other people present in the room: the butlers standing at the exits and the chefs working in the kitchen. None of them looked at you, their attention focused on anything but. 
“Don’t stare at them. The butlers are simply here to protect you.” his monotone voice made his last sentence sound oddly intimidating. 
You fight the urge to question if it was him they would be protecting you from in the case that you anger him. 
“It feels like the rapture has happened and we’re the only ones left.” you pick up one of the rose petals, inspecting it as an excuse to avoid his gaze. 
“That would be ideal.” 
“Is something bad going to happen to me?” your forward question caused his thin eyebrows to raise slightly.
“Not if you behave. I just want you to enjoy this date.” his tone was a bit softer now, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t, or forced to be, close to him. He didn’t like your anxiousness, worried it would ruin his meticulous yet futile plans to make amends with you. 
You were still on edge as the butlers served a lavish meal to the both of you, your facial features failing to soften as you inspected the food. He was fully aware of just how much damage he’d done to you and he wasn’t going to justify his behavior, only wanting to make you feel better. 
It was hard for him to stay silent, however, as you were continuing to look around and stare at the butlers.
“Is the sight of them bothering you?” the sound of his voice catching your attention. “I could have them move out of view if that would ease your nerves.”
He doesn’t get it. Maybe he pretends not to, choosing to ignore your uncomfortableness with him in favor of deluding himself.
“It’s not that, it’s just…” 
Your words couldn’t come out, you didn’t know what to say. Ask him to get rid of all the unnecessary escorts and open the hotel to the public again as this felt more like a standoff than a romantic dinner? You hated the silence between you, not that you wanted to speak to Illumi, you wanted to hear the chatter of other diners over the classy jazz music, the clinking of utensils as they enjoyed their meal.
“Oh?” he slowly tilted his head, his uncanny expression observing your every move and sound. It’s as if he was daring you to ruin it all with some sort of stupid comment; it’d give him a reason to drag you back to the estate and lock you away for good. 
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” you manage to finally say. It just wasn’t worth it.
He continues staring, features unmoving as you assume he’s thinking of various ways to brutally murder you. He only straightens himself.
“I see.” 
You’re internally thankful he dropped it, your shoulders drooping in relief as you watch him continue to eat unnaturally fast, a strange habit of his. When was the last time he’s blinked? You can’t stand him. 
Illumi obviously didn’t believe that you had nothing to share. He knew you well enough to guess that whatever you were about to say would’ve angered him, so you kept quiet in order to avoid problems. Good, you were learning. 
Silence fell over the two of you, increasing the tension in the air. He’d already finished eating, choosing to gaze at you rather than anything else. He was making you lose your appetite, but you somehow managed to finish your meal.
“Would you like dessert?” Illumi inquired, barely giving you enough time to chew and swallow your last bite before asking.
“No thanks.” you don’t explain why. The truth was that you didn’t want to sit in front of him any longer, you were tired of his eyes boring into you. 
“Are you sure?” he tilted his head again, pressuring you for a different answer.
“I’m sure.” 
You wouldn’t budge, much to his dismay. You had unknowingly foiled his plans to spoon feed you a strawberry sundae. 
“Very well.” he doesn’t push any further, only slowly nodding. “Did you enjoy the food?”
“Yummy.” 
Illumi didn’t immediately react to your childish response, only straightening himself after a few moments. He had made sure this dinner would be perfect, planning everything to the last detail, and you’ve shown your gratitude by looking at everything other than him and rating his endeavor with a one word answer. 
He remained still for a few more moments before deciding to ignore your strange behavior once again. He stood up from his seat, looking away from you for the first time since he’s sat down. 
“Let’s go.”
You follow him as commanded, taking clear note of his slight annoyance. He led you to the hotel’s theater, the sound of your footsteps slightly echoing in the large, spacious room. He picks two spots in the center and takes a seat, you follow suit. 
Choosing to stay silent, you don’t ask any questions about what movie the two of you were seeing, only staring forward as the lights turn off and the showing begins. Illumi had carefully selected this movie for you. It was lighthearted and fun, chosen specifically to improve your mood. The date wasn’t meeting his expectations, as you weren’t quite throwing yourself at him, but he was determined to change that. 
You tried your best to ignore his constant glancing in your direction for the entirety of the film. It was as if he was looking for something, for reassurance to soothe his ever growing concerns. He didn’t like your indifference, he didn’t like that he couldn’t tell how you were feeling in detail about his attempts at courtship.
The movie was good, you liked it. Illumi was already staring at you by the time you faced him, the credits rolling on the screen. It was subtle but he still looked upset, the image of you leaning away from him as if you were trying to put as much space as possible between the two of you was still fresh in his mind. 
He would break that physical barrier, desensitize you to his presence.
As you silently walk back to the suite, Illumi suddenly grabs your hand. Your heart jumps into your throat, fully expecting him to crush it as punishment for upsetting him. He stops walking and stares at you when you impulsively try to pull away, not saying a word as he gives you a second to collect yourself. 
You were ruining his passionate act of love. He knew he wasn’t the most expressive, as he was raised to mask his emotions, but his straightforwardness made up for that. You should be happy. This is an act of love. He had done his research — asking his father — and knew what he needed to do in order to please you. He won’t let you spoil it. 
Eventually you somewhat simmer down, still tense in his firm hold. He continues walking, slower this time. He wasn’t even holding your hand correctly as yours was balled into a fist. He didn’t care though, as long as he was holding it.
The night hadn’t gone his way but he had plenty more tricks up his sleeve, optimistic that tomorrow would be better. Illumi would not put up with failure. 
You were in for a ride.
You reach and enter the suite once again, Illumi locking the door behind him. He lets out a sigh and begins to settle down, having no issue kicking his shoes off and changing clothes right in front of you. You, however, move to sit stationary on the lounge chair, staring at the ground to avoid any awkward interactions with your naked “husband”. 
You had no desirable reaction to anything he did, which he found disheartening. You finally look up when he’s fully clothed, watching as he sits on the edge of the bed. He decided to risk it, to ask about your experience. He figured a blunt and bold answer would be significantly better than overthinking and assuming the worst. “Did you enjoy anything I did today?”
Truth be told, you did. You just didn’t like him. Had anyone more deserving taken the time to do this for you, you’d throw yourself all over them. 
“It was the typical Illumi experience.” 
You regretted saying that before it even left your mouth. “The typical Illumi experience” was not a compliment, it was a brutal insult disguised with subtlety. You had just compared his month’s worth of intensive planning and preparing to a regular day being around him back at Kukuroo Mountain. 
Something you didn’t like flashed in his eyes, your fingers nervously grip your pants yet again. What you’d just said was so dismissive, condescending, everything he didn’t want to hear. He turns away from you, looking out of the glass balcony door as he takes several slow and deep breaths. He was collecting himself.
He reasoned in his mind, internally arguing that this was his chance to dissect your feelings and see how he could improve. He turns toward you, expression unreadable. “Elaborate.”
“Am I allowed to express myself?” you ask, your question was legitimately innocent. However, you were saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. 
“You were always allowed to express yourself, you just seem to have a habit of doing it disrespectfully.”
“I’m sorry.” you lower your gaze, apology insincere. 
You don’t know why he’s changed. You can tell that he’s being softer with you. If you said something like that a few months ago, you’d be unable to speak for the next two weeks. 
“Do you harbor resentment towards me?”
That was a rhetorical question. He didn’t want an answer; an answer other than a loud, confident “no” anyways. 
You stay silent, continuing to stare at the ground. He didn’t acknowledge that your silence was your way of saying yes. 
“Are we going back tomorrow?” you ask, changing the subject in order to lessen the heavy atmosphere. 
“Back to Kukuroo Mountain?”
“Yes.”
“No.” Illumi doesn’t provide further details. This trip won’t end unless it’s on a good note. “You should get changed.”
He stands up and rummages through the wardrobe, pulling out a silk pajama set. You slowly stand and retrieve it, making your way to the bathroom to change. He assumes you’re just being shy. You eventually come out, having put your dirty clothes into the hamper, before making your way to the lounge chair once again. The lights have been dimmed in your absence.
He was sitting up in bed, halfway under the blankets, staring at you expectantly. You didn’t want to come to terms with the reality that you had to sleep in the same bed as him; that fact wasn’t lost on him. It was obvious you were avoiding having to deal with the inevitable conclusion of the night by seeking comfort on the lounge chair. He wouldn’t allow you that comfort. “Come to bed.” his tone was flat, it was an order. 
“I’m not tired yet-”
“Come to bed.” he wasn’t hearing your excuses, only repeating himself while patting the empty space next to him. You look at him with a saddened expression, silently pleading to be let off the hook; the issue is that he’s let you off the hook multiple times today already and he wasn’t planning on letting you rob him of this. “Do as I say.”
Sensing the impatience in his tone, you reluctantly head over to your side of the bed and slide under the blanket, making sure to curl up as close to the edge and as far from Illumi as possible. You face away from him, silently making it clear you weren’t interested in anything other than sleep. He doesn’t comment on this, choosing to stay silent as he thinks to himself. He wanted to hold you, but he knew not to push too far. At least not so soon.
He sighs, continuing to sit up in bed as he watches your sleeping figure. Tomorrow will be a better day, he’ll make sure of it. 
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yandere-daydreams · 8 months
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Title: Obedience Training.
Pairing: Yandere!Illumi x Reader (HxH).
Commissioned by the very lovely @h2o2-and-baking-soda.
Word Count: 1.6k.
TW: Kidnapping, Prolonged Imprisonment, Physical/Psychological Abuse, Pet Play, Dehumanization, and Controlling Behavior.
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The ring was beyond repair.
It was the ugly kind of damage, too – the gold chipped and dented, some parts entirely flattened while others had scratched and tarnished to the point of virtual unrecognizability. The jewel itself (a diamond the color of the sky just before sunrise and the size of the nail on your pointer finger) had been pried out of its casing and polished with the blunt side of the hammer you’d pilfered from collection of one of the more forgetful servants. Any fragments that might’ve been worth salvaging were then washed down the sink of your en suite, and the near-microscopic remnants glistened against the table’s dark mahogany – twinkling whenever they caught the ample sunlight.
It'd been his mother’s ring; albeit, one of countless. Breaking it in such an obviously deliberate way had been a stupid thing to do, and a part of you must’ve known that while you were doing it. A part of you must’ve basked in the idiotic rage of it all, must’ve been dying to see what Illumi would be like when he couldn’t hide behind those big, blank eyes and that unreadable expression. As hazy as it seemed, you could remember being excited to see how Illumi would react, what he thought he could do to you that he hadn’t already put you through.
Now, though, standing next to him as he evaluated the damage, watching as those dark, glossy eyes skirted from the splintered wood to the decimated ring to the sparkling residue…
You weren’t excited, anymore.
Several seconds passed in silent paralysis. Images of braided rope and rusted chains and broken legs flashed through your subconscious, but he managed to draw you out of your spiraling thoughts with a low hum, a startling click of his tongue. Finally, he turned toward you and raised a hand, and you braced yourself for the feeling his fist around your neck, two fingers piercing the fragile bone of your skull, his pointed nails clawing out your eyes and leaving you to ble—
His palm came to rest on top of your head, petting over your hair gently. “Sweetheart,” he muttered with a tone as warm and as affectionate as a corpse in a snowstorm. “Would you come with me?”
You opened your mouth, but closed it again just as quickly. You nodded, the gesture stilted and jerky, and Illumi offered an approving smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, letting his hand fall to your wrist. He pressed a lingering kiss into the top of your head before tugging you gently towards the door.
Neither of you spoke as he guided you through the halls of his mansion. Usually, you could count on running into one of the sociopaths that made up his family or a member of their bloodthirsty staff whenever you left your room, but today, his sprawling home seemed to be vacant, lifeless, as empty as the killers who dwelled inside of it. Steadily, you moved downward, the marble walls turning to rough stone, the filtered sunlight soon traded out for the artificial glow of dim gas lamps. He didn’t drag his feet or try to prolong your walk to the gallows, but he didn’t rush, either, didn’t seem to be in any rush to carry out your inevitably punishment. Eventually, he came to a stop in front of a simple wooden door – unremarkable in every aspect save for the deep well of dread it managed to dredge up inside of you.
With little ceremony, the door was pushed open and you were ushered inside of ahead of him. Your attention quickly fell onto the object most immediately in front of you: a dog crate.
It was almost shockingly mundane; not overly massive, but big enough for a large pitbull or golden retriever, the bars thin but close together and the bottom cushioned by a small bed with pink and white paw prints splattered across it. A handful of miscellaneous items had been laid on top of it. Your attention caught on the collar, first, the cutesy type with a bell and fake (or, knowing Illumi, very real) gemstones studded into the leather and a matching leash, and then headband with what couldn’t be—
Illumi moved past you, approaching the crate and taking up the undeniably, indisputably dog-eared headband. He turned it over in his hands once, then twice, before speaking. “Strip.”
It sounded like gibberish; partially muffled by the static buzzing over your conscious mind and made even more difficult to process by your own unwillingness to do so. “What?”
“Strip,” he repeated. “Or I’ll break every bone in your right hand.”
It was the specificity of the threat (paired with the implication that your left wouldn’t be long to follow) that had your shaking hands reaching for the hem of your shirt and hauling it over your head. You looked towards him for approval after every shed article, but he only seemed to notice your obedience at all when you stood bare and vulnerable in front of him, completely unprotected from both his prying gaze and the chill of the damp dungeon air. You started to move towards him, but he stopped you with a quick shake of his head, a new softness to his expression. “Kneel.”
With a shallow breath, you complied, lowering yourself onto your knees. Now, now, he took his time, his terrible eyes raking over your trembling form as he came to stand in front of you. The collar was fastened around your neck deftly, the leash allowed to hang loose and pool in your lap. He was more careful with the headband – meticulously lining it up with your ears, your face before sliding it into place with a satisfied hum. In a very distant, very muted way, you found that you were surprised less that your hitman-turned-kidnapper would have a pet play lair hidden away in some dark corner of his basement, and more that the aforementioned kidnapper would use that pet play lair to dress you up as a dog, rather than a cat. Illumi was as cat-like as a man could be – silent and skulking, prone to digging his claws into what he loved most – but the more you thought about it, the more sense it made. Cats were smart and sly and perfectly capable of surviving on their own, whereas dogs were stupid and clumsy and almost painfully reliant on their owners. People get cats because they want something that can choose to love them back. People get dogs because they want something that doesn’t have another choice.
“I--Illumi,” you managed, his name still awkward and bitter on your tongue. “I… I’m really sorry, and I’ve learned my lesson, and—”
One second, you were staring at his feet, and the next, your head was snapped to the side, a searing pain stitched deeply into your cheek. His open palm slipped downward, cupping your chin and tilting your head back, forcing you to face him properly. “Good pets don’t talk.” His tone was shockingly sweet, coercive, as if he was trying to explain something very simple to a very stupid child. “Good pets only follow commands. Can you do that for me, puppy?”
Tears were starting to gather in the corners of your eyes, a tight knot lodging itself at the base of your throat, but you did your best to keep both at bay. You started to nod, then thought better of it, straightening your back and squaring your shoulders, trying to communicate the only thing you could seem to think – please don’t hurt me please don’t hurt me please don’t hurt me – without giving him a reason to land another blow. In the end, he rewarded you with the ghost of a smile, his free hand held in front of your mouth. “Good puppy. Now lick.”
You hesitated, but the steady ache pounding in your cheek was enough to make you swallow your pride. Your tongue darted out from between trembling lips, and with no small amount of trepidation, you lapped over the back of his closed fist. He let you begin to pull away before moving – before forcing two fingers into your open mouth and pressing the pads of his digits into the back of your throat. You gagged, your body instinctually recoiling, but he didn’t relent, his thumb digging into your jaw as he held you in place. Your hands shot to his thighs, the tears you’d forced back resurfacing and flooding down your cheeks, but he didn’t budge, didn’t pull away until you were gasping and breathless and utterly humiliated. Finally, he drew back, wiping his spit-soaked digits on your shoulder as his eyes moved from your open mouth to your hands, still balled around the fabric of his pants. “I have something upstairs for those,” he said, voice dripping with all the warmth and affection he usually denied you. “I’ll forgive you this time, puppy, but good pets shouldn’t be able to grab.”
He reached down, taking you by the leash. You were too detached to resist as he half-led, half-dragged you towards the crate. This time, you couldn’t stop yourself from shaking your head, from stammering out little ‘no, no, no’s as his fist curled around your collar and forced you past the metal gate and into the confined space, suddenly so much smaller than it’d seemed from the outside. You had just enough time to scramble for the door before Illumi slammed it shut, letting the clasp fall into place and leaving you withering inside the makeshift cage. You couldn’t stop yourself – hands curling around the bars as you looked toward him with your most pleading expression, but Illumi only shook his head. “You don’t have to sulk. Maybe, with some time, we’ll be able to move your bed somewhere warmer.”
He paused, his grin widening into the first real smile you’d ever earned from him.
“After you’ve proved you can be a good dog, of course.”
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citrus-writing · 24 days
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What do you think the phantom troupe would be like with a darling who needs medicine for their mental state? If this request doesn’t suit your tastes don’t pressure yourself to write it please
Thank you for the request! If you have anything else you’d like to see, feel free to request again! 
Yanderes with a darling who needs mental health meds--- 
Warnings: discussions of mental health and mental health meds, discussions of beign denied your meds  
Yanderes who are adamant about you taking your meds, who never let you miss a dose and who watch you take your meds obsessively. Because you're their darling, their love, and they can't let anything bad happen to you. 
Chrollo, nobunaga, uvogin 
Chrollo- he’s obsessive when it comes to you, never careless with the thing that is most precious to him; you. And your meds are no different. He’s certain to make sure you take your meds at the times you're supposed to, at the same time everyday. And if you take some meds as needed, he doesn't mind when you need to take them. He’s diligent with your wellbeing, wanting to prove to you that he can take care of you. 
Nobunaga- he worries so much about you, about your health and your wellbeing, so of course he makes sure you take your meds. He’s not quite as intense about it as chrollo is, but one glaring difference is that he is always the one to give you your pills. He likes knowing you rely on him, and while he’d never deprive you of the meds you need, he’s not above making it seem like he might. So everyday he makes you ask oh so nicely if you can have your pills. 
Uvogin- the least obsessive about your health of these three, uvogin feels confident that if you could take your pills before you can still be trusted now that you’re living with him. Of course, if you prove him wrong about that he’ll have to adjust his strategy, but he wants you to maintain some level of independence, even if you never get to leave your shared home. He will remind you if there’s a chance you forgot them, but other than that, he leaves it to you. He also never threatens to take them from you, because he knows he’d never be able to hurt you like that. 
Yanderes who will take your meds from you as a punishment, who don't mind being the bad guy and taking something you desperately need if it makes you behave. And you’re always so grateful when you get them back, so just be good and don't make them mad, and you’ll get to keep your meds. 
Phinks, shalnark 
Phinks- he doesn't want to take your meds from you, afterall, you’re so much happier when you're on them, and he loves when you're happy. But after seeing how desperately you need those pills, and how you’d do almost anything to get to keep them, he realizes that taking them is the perfect threat. He won't hesitate to take them from you if you refuse to follow his rules, but he’s always willing to give them back once you settle down and start behaving. 
Shalnark- he doesn't mind taking your meds from you if he has to. While he fell in love with your smile and your laugh, your tears are equally beautiful. And if you can't leave to behave, you’ll have to be punished, and really, this is quite tame compared to what he could do. He’ll mock you all while youre without your pills as well, teasing that if you were good this wouldn't have to happen. So really, it’s your fault. But once you learn to behave, he gives them back gladly, ecstatic to see your smile return in the following days. 
Yanderes with a more complicated relationship with your meds, who can't seem to settle into any certain schedule with them. Why should you need these pills when you have them to care for you? Why should you need these pills when you have them to make you happy? Would it really be so bad if they took them from you? But they soon realize that you do need the pills, and they relent. These yanderes are hard to predict in this regard.  
Feitan, illumi 
Feitan- he doesn't mind you taking these meds in theory, but he hates knowing you're so reliant on something like medicine for your happiness. He wishes you didn't need the meds, both because he wants to be all you need and also because he has to supply you with your meds, and getting them is a hassle. For a long while he tries to take you off them completely, but eventually he learns life is easier if he lets you take your pills. 
Illumi- he is on some level offended that you have to take these meds. Shouldn't you be happy just to be with him? Shouldn't you be more grateful? At first, he thinks you're just throwing a fit when you become so distant after he takes them away. But as the punishments stack up and you dont relent, he realizes you do actually need them. He gives them back to you when you’re behaving well, but as soon as you start to act up he takes them away again. 
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Yandere Illumi Zoldyck Headcannon Pt. I
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Illumi is the type to be so unfamiliar with a simple crush he thinks he’s bewitched when he keeps thinking of you
So when he diverts from his trip home after a successful job it's completely logical
He’s just trying to release himself from this hex
He might even recruit Hisoka 
he’s so sure of it
Whether you’re hanging around Killua and Gon or just hanging out in a city where he was working he makes his way to you
With tons of plans up his sleeves, he goes in
Only to freeze on the spot when you look him in his eyes
“Uhm can I help you?”
“....”
Hisoka’s intervention is the only thing that will save him
Physically shaking the man’s gaze is the only way he starts functioning again
Hisoka will have a good laugh 
But his family wouldn’t 
Whether it's a worldwide disaster that brings the heads of the Zoldyck family together and you're a fighter
or just investigating on their own they’ll bear witness to it
The way you arrive on the scene and Illumi.exe just stops workin
Of course, you don’t notice that the assassin is just wigging out because you’re (inadvertently) talking to him
When they do realize you’re not putting him under some spell 
And he’s just weird
They encourage him to just have you take you if necessary
Whether that’s abducting civilian-you or trying to defeat you on a wager to marry him
All that advice goes out the window because he can’t even talk to you
He doesn’t know the embarrassment 
He doesn’t know butterflies in the stomach
Not until you
You suddenly become this onus that baffles him in every which way
Whether you’re strong enough and aware enough to confront him
Or have little to no use of nen and have no idea who he is
He won’t be able to do anything until he’s able to handle you
But why would he ever 
He loves you 
Even if you’re making him seem like some incompetent lobotomite
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ssailormoonn · 2 months
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❛ UM, WHAT? ❜
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Yandere! Illumi Zoldyck X Fem!Reader
| YANDERE CONTENT |
WC; 1.5k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: in the pre timeskip, i imagine it to be younger illumi there (so when he's around 18-19 and has the short hair), reader is aslo 17-18 before the timeskip. after the timeskip illumi is 26 and you are 25, stalking!!! death
⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) Could you pls write yandere illumi who has been stalking reader for years now, he finally decides to make his move, bumps into you, casually invites you for a date. But as you start talking to him, he's so in love and obsessed he lets creepy things slip during casual conversation eg. Reader: yeah I go to dance classes, though recently I haven't been enjoying them as much because our teacher keeps complaing about his life problems! Can you believe it! And Illumi replies "Yes, that idiot should've left his cheating wife months ago haha" and Reader's like, how did you know that *sweats* Anyway just creepy illumi pls:3 - ANON
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You were just a high school student when you first noticed him, but only just briefly.
It was a normal day but if only you had paid more attention to how this man looked like, maybe your life would've turned out different. The man, you noticed had quite noticeable features, a tall, solemn young man who watched you across the street with a curious expression to which you quickly ignored. 
It felt as if a gaze was pricing into your back from the man who was donned in a simple jacket and baggy pants. The way he was observing you frightened you to a certain extent.
You almost immediately forgot the thoughts about the man in your mind with a shake of your head, manipulating yourself into thinking that he wasn't looking at you.
Illumi had taken an interest in you, not knowing the reason why. You were a simple girl, not an assassin, and probably (more than likely) didn't even know how to use Nen. Yet, you caught his eye. His curiosity was peaked by your simple life which contrasted so much to his life of killing and death. The way that you looked so innocent in his eyes, so pure made him want you, to taint you with something darker. 
It wasn't long before his curiosity turned darker, into something more obsessive. 
He began to follow you more frequently, always remaining in the periphery of your vision, never approaching you directly. He learned your schedule, your favourite spots, and your friends. 
His presence was like a ghost, an ever-watchful eye that followed you through every mundane task, every joyful moment, and every sorrowful sigh. To him, you were a puzzle that needed to be solved, a mystery he had to uncover.
Years passed, and his obsession only deepened. The thrill of watching you, the satisfaction of knowing every detail of your life, became his solace. He admired your strength, your kindness, and even your vulnerabilities. You were his secret obsession, his hidden treasure that no one else could touch.
Then, one day, it happened. As you walked down the busy street, absorbed in your own thoughts, he decided it was time. He approached you with an air of casualness as if he had just bumped into you by chance. His heart raced, not from the excitement of the encounter, but from the thrill of finally making himself known to you, even if just a little.
"Excuse me," he said, his voice smooth and controlled. You looked up, startled by his sudden appearance. There was a hint of something unsettling in his gaze, but it was masked by a polite smile. "I couldn't help but notice you. We've crossed paths before, haven't we?"
You felt a chill run down your spine, but you forced a smile. "I don't think so," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light.
You had felt as if you had met this man before but you couldn't place to who it was and where you had seen him. 
"Perhaps not," he said, shrugging lightly. "I suppose I was mistaken. I'm Illumi. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you be interested in going out sometime?"
His invitation was delivered with a nonchalance that belied the intensity in his eyes. You hesitated, unsure of what to make of this stranger who had bumped into you too casually. The unsettling familiarity in his gaze was hard to ignore, but there was also something oddly compelling about him.
"Um, sure," you said hesitantly, unable to shake off the feeling that something was deeply wrong but unable to refuse the polite request. "When would you like to... go out?"
"Would now be okay?" he asks with a tilt of his head, his height was towering over you, you noticed.
"Um, sure," you replied, unable to say no.
You two go to a quaint little café downtown. It was a cozy place with soft lighting and a welcoming atmosphere. You arrived a few minutes early, trying to shake off the strange feeling from your earlier encounter. Illumi arrived shortly after, his presence still carrying an unsettling air, but his smile was warm and inviting.
As you both settled into a corner booth, you tried to focus on the pleasant surroundings. Illumi made small talk, his voice smooth and pleasant. You found yourself slowly opening up, chatting about your daily life.
"So, what have you been up to lately?" Illumi asked, his eyes never leaving your face, as if he was trying to memorise every detail.
Not to your knowledge, he was. This was the closest he had ever gotten to you and he wanted to memorise every single detail on your face.
"Well, I’ve been going to dance classes," you began, trying to keep the conversation light.
He already knew that.
"Though recently, I haven’t been enjoying them as much. Our teacher keeps complaining about his life problems. Can you believe it?"
Illumi’s eyes glinted with an unsettling intensity as he responded. "Yes, that idiot should've left his cheating wife months ago. It’s pathetic how he drags his personal drama into his classes. Haha."
Your heart skipped a beat, and you froze, taken aback by his response. "How—how did you know about that?" you stammered, a cold sweat forming on your brow. "I’ve never mentioned it to anyone."
Illumi’s smile widened slightly, but his eyes remained cold and calculating. "Oh, I have my ways," he said smoothly. "I pay attention to the details, you know. It’s just a shame he’s so miserable. I suppose that’s why he hasn’t been able to focus on teaching properly."
You tried to regain your composure, forcing a nervous laugh. "Well, I guess you’re right. It’s just frustrating sometimes."
Illumi nodded, still maintaining that unnerving gaze. "I understand. It must be hard for you, having to deal with his problems on top of your own. I’m sure you’re doing your best."
You tried to smile, though the unease in your chest was growing. "Thanks. I guess it just feels like everything’s piling up lately."
Illumi's eyes flickered with a strange, intense focus. "Is there anything else troubling you? Perhaps something outside of dance class?"
You hesitated before continuing, feeling a bit trapped by his penetrating gaze. "Well, there’s this guy at work who’s been bothering me. He keeps making inappropriate comments and trying to corner me when I’m alone. It’s really unsettling."
Illumi’s expression darkened momentarily, his frown deepening as he processed your words. "I see," he said slowly, his voice taking on a more serious tone. "I wasn’t aware of this... inconvenience," he mumbled to himself, cursing himself to how he could've missed something like this in your daily life.
He thought you didn't hear what he said, but you did. A chill ran down your spine at the way he said it as if he was mentally assessing the situation with an unsettling calmness. 
You quickly tried to change the subject, eager to escape the intensity of his gaze. "But enough about that. I’m glad we could meet today. It’s been nice talking to you."
Illumi’s smile returned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Yes, it has been. I enjoyed our time together."
You stood up, gathering your things and preparing to leave. Illumi followed suit, walking you to the door of the café. As you both stepped outside, you noticed him pause for a moment, his gaze fixed on something in the distance. It was as if he was calculating his next move.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now," you said, trying to sound cheerful.
Illumi’s smile was oddly reassuring, but there was something underneath that made you frightened. "Indeed. I’ll be looking forward to our next meeting."
With that, you parted ways, heading towards your home. As you walked away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Illumi’s gaze lingered on you for just a moment too long.
Later that evening, Illumi found himself deep in thought, his mind racing with the unsettling new information about the man bothering you. How could he have missed this particular nuisance? 
He prided himself on his meticulous surveillance and had always been keenly aware of every aspect of your life. 
This intruder had slipped through his watchful eye, and it angered him.
Illumi’s expression darkened as he made his way to the location where you worked. His movements were precise and calculated just like how he was trained to be. He found the man who had been harassing you. As the man prepared to leave for the night, Illumi approached him, his presence undetectable.
The man turned, startled by the sudden appearance of the tall stranger. Before he could react, Illumi’s hand was around his throat, his tight. The man’s eyes widened in fear as Illumi's voice, low and threatening, cut through the silence.
"You’ve caused my precious one unnecessary distress," Illumi said quietly, his tone chilling. "And for that, you will pay the price."
With a swift, merciless motion, Illumi ensured the man’s silence forever, his actions deliberate and ruthless. 
The threat to you had been eliminated, and your world would remain undisturbed by anyone other than him. 
No one would come between him and the object of his fixation.
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Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.
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ataraxiaspainting · 2 months
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Sweet Love.
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Yan Illumi x F Reader.
Synopsis: His stare brings more death than a guillotine's blade.
Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping/forced marriage, dub-con, the reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns respectively, pregnancy, threats of violence, manipulation, misogyny, mentions of physical abuse/isolation, and descriptions of murder.
Word Count: 1.3k.
*~*~*~*
In the morning, you were given a nightgown slightly shorter than the one you laid in the evening before, and your houseshoes were nowhere to be seen. The dress had no sleeves and a space above the bodice which made your collarbones and neck show.
Nothing covered your injuries from the night before – even though you know that everyone knew about your escape attempt last month, and everyone knew the way Illumi dragged you back under the full moon. Kikyo scolded you and threatened to sear your tongue and palms with a hot iron, Silva refused to let you have treatment for your sprained ankle until you apologized, and Zeno won’t even look at you.
Your assigned butlers said even less than usual. Remina merely said two words. Stay here. Haruhi had more to say, but not by much. Master Illumi will be here shortly she said, and then they were both gone. 
You were sitting upright on the bed as your more injured leg was surrounded by pillows – a tactic made by yourself to attempt to not make the sprain worse. Jalil… Jalil taught you that.
“I’m coming in,” Illumi’s voice rang in your ears despite his tone being on the quieter side.
When he locked the bedroom door up again, you smelled something faintly sweet. Soap and shampoo and conditioner, perhaps. Or maybe it was just cologne. Either way, it was odd for such a scent to be coming from Illumi. He usually just used products that had no scent at all. There is less of a chance of being caught, he said when you had asked. His steps were slow and steady. They would be undetectable if he did not announce his appearance prior. It was not surprising, because you know what he is, what his whole family is. 
You welcome him just as you were taught. Illumi simply nodded.
“Illumi… I…”
He puts his hand up, a gesture common among family members when you speak when you are not supposed to. Compared to all of them, you are just a dog. A rowdy street mutt that was taken in by force and must learn what its job is; to please its master. 
“Not yet,” Illumi says. His tone wasn’t the harshest you had heard from him – that title by far goes to him yesterday as he threw around furniture attempting to find you and Jalil. “I have questions, and you are going to respond with a nod or a shake of your head.”
You stay quiet. He sits across from you, leaning on the lower side’s bed frame.
“I understand,” You murmur, not daring to make any eye contact just yet.
“Was that man someone you knew before you married me?” He asked. “Nod or shake your head. It doesn’t matter what your answer is, you know. He is already dead because of you.”
You flinch. When you don’t answer, he asks the question once more. You can feel Illumi’s eyes widening and narrowing with each second that passes on the ticking clock above the vanity. He asks the question two more times, slightly harsher. You don’t say a word because all you can see and feel is red – it’s sticky and warm and smells awful and-
“[First],” Illumi repeats your name enough times to make you come back to reality.
“I’m so sorry,” You whisper, accompanied by a shake of your head.
Illumi’s face doesn’t soften. Perhaps it did in the past, but that feels like an eternity ago. You got away with things back then, as small as they were. When you apologized, it all went away. Illumi defended you against his mother’s ideas of punishment, saying you will learn what it means to be his wife. But… that time never came, the lessons weren’t drilled into your skull enough. You didn’t heed any warnings from the younger butlers. You didn’t learn how to read Illumi’s body language fast enough.
“You aren’t forgiven.” 
His tone is sharper, more akin to a hiss than something more crooning, but it isn’t full-on anger. 
You’ll take what you can get for now.
“However, we’ll continue, and discuss your aborance later.” 
You can only imagine what that means. It makes your heart deflate and attempt to free itself from your ribcage – banging and screaming to be freed from the hell that is your body, that is Illumi, that is this family, that is this mansion, that is your life from now on. 
“Had you lived with this man for two weeks or more during your escapade?” He asks.
You nod. Illumi didn’t seem to like that answer, from the way the corners of his lips turned downward. Then he buries it inside himself now, just like everything else he dislikes and feels and wants.
It’s only a matter of time before that bomb explodes and burns you to ashes.
“Third question,” You grip your knees, onto the thin soft fabric of the nightgown. If you had more hands you would hold onto the blankets too. The pillowcases and the mattress cover too; just anything to give you the illusion of safety and stability. “Did you have sex with this man?”
Your life flashes before your eyes like you’re a moth about to be absorbed by a lantern’s flame. The good memories, the bad ones, everything. Everything relies on your answer here. No. You rely on your answer here.
If he finds out what is inside your stomach, what you have done when you were free to do whatever you pleased, what would he do then?
Would he kill you? Kill the only part of Jalil you have left?
You cannot bring yourself to allow either of these things to happen.
You shake your head. No. No, you didn’t. You don’t want to forget the memory, but you don’t want to scream it from the rooftops either, especially if it means your life ends then and there.
Illumi liked that answer, you think. His kind smile was uncommon, but all things considered, you and Killua were the only ones he ever did smile at. 
“Good. That’s good. Final question,” You dodged a bullet with that last question. You don’t think it can get any worse, and it doesn’t. “Do you want to be a true Zoldyck?”
Not for the first time or the final time, you nod.
*~*~*~*
The sheets were as cold as Illumi’s skin, just as pale too. The curtains were already shut far before you were brought back – his room was untouched because he spent weeks looking for you, after all. Sitting on the edge of the bed, unbuckling his belt, Illumi is grinning. It feels unnatural, like a puppet who has gained sentience or a devil who is learning what it means to be human. His wide eyes were essentially crawling on you, looking everywhere he wouldn’t let anyone else see. 
“You’re beautiful,” He whispers.
The lights are off at your request.
Later, when you assume he is asleep, you take the pin off your discarded nightgown that is on the floor. The puncture wound blended in with the rest of your injuries well, and when enough blood was spilled on the mattress, you wiped off the excess under one of the pillowcases, one of the black ones you think. 
There.
You put a hand on your stomach. The baby shouldn’t be bigger than those little inch-long cat figurines you used to have in childhood, so everything should be fine.
You are now a Zoldyck too.
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depravitycentral · 1 year
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Yandere! Illumi Zoldyck General Profile
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Yandere! Illumi Zoldyck x fem! reader
Tw: kidnapping, stalking, non-con, breaking and entering, slight somnophilia, misogynistic undertones, traditional gender roles, mentions of forced breeding/forced motherhood, murder, violence, lots of descriptions of killing methodologies, slight mentions of self induced wounds, fem reader, MDNI
I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!
WC: 11K
DARLING PROFILE:
Gentle
It takes Illumi a long time to develop feelings for his darling for a multitude of reasons.
Emotional unavailability, high expectations, and disinterest, just to name a few, and while he isn’t actively searching for a partner, there are a few base requirements he knows his future partner must meet.
Strong, intelligent, hard working, everything desirable that he knows both he and his family would approve of.
But once he meets his darling, his interest slightly peaked in them, that list begins changing slightly.
Because while the feelings are slow to solidify, Illumi notices quickly that his darling is so, so painfully averse to being harsh.
They’re not confrontational, treat others with a level of attentiveness and care that initially makes him scoff, and he doesn’t think he’s once seem them ever lose control of themselves and explode.
It’s uncanny, unnatural, as far as Illumi is concerned, and yet it’s fascinating. He slowly grows to admire this trait in his darling, how they can be so unconditionally soft with everything and everyone around them, eventually finding himself more and more attracted to them with every kind deed they do. It makes them weak, easy to manipulate, easy to kill, but Illumi finds it oddly endearing.
He’s always firmly believed that mothers should be nurturing to their children, to help them grow and shape them into the best versions of themselves possible, and while they’re opposite to his mother in many ways, maybe that gentility they possess is a the perfect thing needed.
Once he’s decided that his darling is his future wife, he’s immediately moving to experience this kindness for himself.
He comes back from missions with a little more blood and bruising than was necessary, but the way his darling gasps and quickly grabs the medical kit makes Illumi blink in wide fascination, unsure what drives them to eagerly spring into action but more than ready to feel their soft touch.
(They don’t need to know that Illumi allowed the target to get a few more hits in than necessary, just to keep them fawning over him as long as possible, or that he had to refuse ten different medical personnel in the mansion before making it to their shared ‘bedroom’.)
He likes the juxtaposition between his darling and him, and while it occasionally irritates him that they’re so soft and weak, it’s more endearing than anything else – just don’t be soft with anyone else but him, yes?
Smart
Illumi may be morally misguided, but the man is intelligent. He knows more about the human body than many doctors, and is skilled beyond belief in the art of combat and stealth.
He understands the best ways to go about gathering intel on a target without being traced or caught, and is able to apply that knowledge to set up traps correlating to his employers’ requests.
And this is a trait he’s simply unwilling to compromise when it comes to a partner – they must be able to keep up with him mentally.
They don’t need to have the same kind of intelligence as him, but the ability to critically think and quickly understand is a necessity. Illumi has very little patience for stupidity, and the thought of spending time with someone who doesn’t understand most of what he says is irritating.
And so, once his feelings for his darling begin appearing, Illumi is putting them through a small series of tests to make sure they live up to his expectations. It’s nothing too intense, nothing he wouldn’t be able to do himself.
He’s leaving extra clues that he’s been in his darling’s apartment – clumsy signs that he’d never normally leave, in the hopes that they’ll realize they’ve had an unwanted guest.
Cabinets are left ajar, their bed slightly unmade, though the thing that really clues them in is the presence of long, dark locks of hair around their apartment that they know aren’t theirs.
They’d never leave hair on the kitchen table; they’d see it and remove it, mildly disgusted. And yet, here three locks lay, making them a bit paranoid as they call the police.
Illumi intercepts the call, making sure it never rings through, but he’s still proud of his darling, satisfaction pooling in his chest because he just knew they’d pick up on it.
He likes knowing his darling is competent, and that their future children will be so too – the next Zoldyck heirs can’t be clueless, after all.
Generous
In general, Illumi isn’t particularly selfish with those he holds dear.
With the exception of Killua, Illumi has always willingly done as he’s been told.
He’s never demanded much from his parents, never insisting on material goods. He’s never felt cheated out of anything, either – his parents have molded him into the perfect assassin, and he couldn’t be more grateful for the rigor and training he received as a child.
And yet, once his darling enters his life, Illumi finds himself feeling strangely overwhelmed. They always seem to be giving things away – their time, bits of food they’ve cooked, their love, other things material and not alike.
It confuses Illumi; it makes him wonder why they’re wasting their resources on people they don’t know well, on those who likely wouldn’t reciprocate.
It’s a mystery, and frankly he finds his darling to be foolish for it – until one day it’s focused at him.
Illumi can’t comprehend why his darling is willingly giving away a bit of their time when they encounters him – in another body – disguised as a homeless man begging for change.
There’s a pitied look in their eye as they hand him the bills – two dollars, just what they had in change and could afford to give away – and tells him there’s a gas station nearby with cheap snacks he can eat.
Illumi just stares at them, not understanding why they’re helping, and soon he’s asking just that.
They startle and awkwardly laugh, telling him it’s because they don’t like seeing others in need, and they were only planning on spending that money to buy junk foods for themselves, anyways.
Illumi blinks, but his darling is soon speed walking away, the interaction feeling strange and uncomfortable.
Illumi still doesn’t understand, but it becomes another one of the facets of his darling that he simply learns to enjoy.
He yearns to understand what compels them to put others before themselves (something that yet again irritates him a bit), but he finds that the more he interacts with them, the more he enjoys being the recipient of it.
He’s finally receiving a bit of love and support that isn’t forced from his parents, and he quickly grows addicted.
Enjoys children 
The reality of the situation is that as Illumi’s darling, they will be forced to interact with children whether they want to or not.
Namely, their own.
Having a family with him is not optional, and Illumi will never present it as such – once he decides his darling is to be his partner, they automatically become his future wife, the future mother of his children.
He cannot be swayed, regardless of what his darling wants.
However, while it’s still possible for him to grow obsessed with a darling who isn’t especially fond of kids, it’s much more likely that he grows attracted to the ease with which they’re able to communicate with them.
He likes the way they get so happy when a child walks up to them, how they’re immediately squatting down and smiling, playing hide and seek with their own face as the child giggles and beams.
He never knew that sort of innocent and sweet interaction when he himself was a child, but he doesn’t view it as a bad thing if his darling is able to make a child happy.
It’ll only benefit them as parents – it’ll help strengthen the bond, and make their children more malleable and receptive to their guidance.
Besides, there’s something about seeing his darling next to a baby that makes his skin feel hot, eyes blowing wide and his trousers tightening.
The image just looks so right, so natural and perfect that Illumi has to hold himself back from bending them over and fucking them right then and there.
Talent with children is an incredibly attractive trait for Illumi, and likely it's the final nail in the coffin that seals his obsession with his darling – one giggling toddler is all that’s needed to seal their fate.
GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:
Stalker
More than anything, stalking you is the only method of ‘interaction’ with you that Illumi feels truly comfortable with.
He knows how to stay invisible; tracking others is easy, as is staying in the shadows and keeping that wide, unnaturally glassy stare on them. He’s used to watching but not being seen, and it’s only natural to extend this towards you. It feels right to be watching you, like he’s where he’s meant to be, and for the beginning of his obsession he spends every free moment stalking you, hiding in corners or shadows and just staring.
 (And really, this behavior lasts all throughout his infatuation, even when he’s got you trapped in the Zoldyck manor, even when you’re nursing his baby, even when you’ve both grown old and death approaches – it’s just that in the beginning, you’re not aware of the black eyes that follow your every move. And that’s a luxury that gets taken all too soon, as you find yourself longing for ignorance of Illumi in every possible way.)
Not to mention, there is no part of him that feels any guilt for it – he’s a cold-blooded assassin, of course, but at no point does it occur to him that it may be strange to be following you, or that you wouldn’t appreciate him watching over you (and watching you, generally).
He doesn’t understand that he shouldn’t approach you like he approaches a target – of course, you won’t be on the receiving end of his needles (at least, not with death his ultimate goal – perhaps something less lethal, like love or submission or lust), but otherwise his intentions are the same.
(Well, mostly – not really, actually, because Illumi doesn’t feel this strange, pleasant warmth in his chest when he’s watching his targets, nor does he feel particularly intrigued when he’s staring at them as they sleep, watching their chest rise and fall and the relaxed, utterly content expression on their face.)
The process of stalking you is remarkably similar to his jobs – first, he’ll choose a place within your home that gives him a good, solid vantage point with minimal risk that he’ll be noticed.
(Though, it’s not exactly hard to hide when you’re so damn oblivious – Illumi swears you have little to no awareness of your surroundings, if the way you sometimes knock into tables or trip over shoes in your doorway is anything to go by.)
His stand-by places are usually in a rarely used storage closet with the door cracked open, just wide enough for his dark eyes to peer through, or perhaps behind a chair you rarely use, crouched and peeking behind the cloth, and when you sit down in said chair, it gives Illumi the opportunity to stand up slightly, towering over you and getting a perfect view of your pretty body and smelling your hair.
But if it’s nighttime and you’re already snuggled up in your bed, eyes glued to your phone screen as you scroll and scroll and neglect your sleep, he'll stand silently and deathly still in the corner.
He’s able to stay perfectly still and maintain the same position for hours at a time, hardly blinking, hardly moving, hardly even breathing, it seems.
And he’s utilizing this skill set to its full potential when it comes to you – Illumi is greedy, and while this doesn’t initially get channeled into being overly possessive of you (though that certainly comes later), it instead translates into this insatiable need to constantly have his eyes on you and to be in your presence every moment he isn’t needed on a job.
There are no boundaries with him, because Illumi genuinely doesn’t see the need to have them. You’re already destined to spend your lives together, so why shouldn’t he start the process of learning more about you?
Autonomy doesn’t really exist with him – he could be considered clingy if his view of your lives being so irreversibly intertwined wasn’t as clinical and matter of fact.
And so Illumi doesn’t operate barred by any sort of moral guidelines – so when he’s using his needles to morph into another face so that he can practice the lines and compliments he’s been told by his mother that will make you swoon, it doesn’t register to him that it might be creepy that he’s practicing wooing you in another body.
(The man is disturbing, and you’re uncomfortable with the way this stranger doesn’t seem to be getting the hint that you want him to leave you alone; why is he standing so close to you? Why is he staring at you like that? Why is he following you?)
It doesn’t register to him that it’s a breach of trust to be pretending to be someone you love and trust, just to extract more information about you.
(Your cousin is acting strangely when they speak to you – their words are clipped and sound just slightly off, and you’re sure they already know what your dreams for the future are. You’ve talked about this with them before, so why are they questioning you on what your ideal house looks like, your ideal partner, your favorite baby names?)
He spends a lot of time observing you, collecting information on you in every way he can, and this doesn’t stop once you’re trapped by his side and with the rest of his crazy, horrible family – it’s a habit, more than anything, but it’s so much worse when you’re aware, when you can see and feel his dark eyes boring into you, making you squirm under the intensity of his gaze.
Of course, talking to him about it won’t do a single thing – only earning you a slight head tilt and a question of does it bother you when I watch you? I apologize, I only meant to keep an eye on you, my dear.
He genuinely doesn’t understand that stalking you and keeping a tab on you at all times is something that you very much don’t appreciate, but you’ll quickly come to learn that with Illumi, there’s only so much you can change – so much being quite literally nothing.
Controlling
This particular manifestation of his obsession with you is a culmination of many different things.
Firstly, it’s simply his personality – when he loves, he possesses, this ugly, carnal feeling stirring in his gut that pushes him to be in control, to guide and oversee every little thing the target of his love does. He’s always felt this way with Killua – he loves his brother immensely, but that love translates as being controlling and always keeping a finger on what Killua does, says, and feels.
Secondly, it’s the intense pressure coming from his family. Kikyo expects your total obedience both to her and her son, and while Illumi can sometimes stand up to his mother on matters where your safety and wellbeing are concerned, he can’t deny her expectations of you being absolutely subservient to him, bending to his every whim and allowing him to dictate every aspect of your life.
And finally, it’s his own paranoia that pushes him to micromanage you in every way possible. He’s never had someone to call his before – he’s unselfish in nature, dedicating himself to his family in every possible way, and now that he’s been given a woman to call his own, to spoil and love and keep by his side, he’s not entirely sure how to react.
Your presence soothes him in a way he’s never experienced before; you’re so soft and caring and warm, all things he’s never had. His life has been hardships and tough love, training and never being good enough, and now that you’re in the picture, Illumi isn’t entirely sure how to handle himself.
He doesn’t doubt himself, per se, but he’s unsure how to successfully navigate a marriage. Would you like it if he was more physical with you? Perhaps you’d like more hugs or for him to hold your hand or kiss you more often – that’s what all the popular media resources he’s looked into have told him.
Or maybe you’d prefer a more quiet, subtle kind of love, where you both support one another with meaningful looks and the occasional touch, whispered words that carry more weight than they seem.
He’s not sure, despite all the stalking and information retrieving he’s preformed in your name, and that makes him nervous. He doesn’t like that he can’t anticipate what you’ll want or how to make you happy – it makes him feel less-than, as if he’s not quite the perfect match that his mother and father have always said his wife will be.
He doesn’t like not being sure of himself, and so this worry manifests itself as becoming firmer in his treatment of you, locking down on the few things he’s absolutely sure of.
It comes off as controlling, sure, but Illumi doesn’t mean to be when he’s telling you what to wear, rifling through the closet he procured for you and pulling out a dress he thinks suits your complexion – you may hate it, but he likes it, so you’ll wear it.
He’s not trying to be controlling when he’s clicking his tongue lightly and telling you to keep your posture straight, dear every time you sit down, even if your shoulders are only barely, slightly slumped.
He’s not trying to be controlling when he’s standing over the bathtub and watching you wash yourself, telling you to use more soap, darling, don’t you want to be clean?
(Nevermind his dark eyes blinking slowly and getting stuck on the soapy outline of your breasts under the warm water – surely you’re just imagining that, along with the tent forming in his trousers.)
He’s not trying to be controlling when he’s roughly grabbing your hand and forcing you behind him when you’re walking through the hallways of the manor, his gaze narrowing at the butler standing at attention, paranoia eating away at him because he could have sworn the man was staring at you as you entered the room, and he can’t have that. Even as an employee of the family, no one but Illumi can look at you with any degree of desire – you are his, and if it means cleaning up a body and finding a new butler to replace him, Illumi will do what is needed to keep you his.
IIlumi is quite frankly totally unaware of his controlling behavior – he doesn’t realize anything is wrong because in his eyes nothing is wrong. This is love – it’s how his father always treated his mother when he was young, his eyes cold and his heart even colder, his words cutting her down and remolding her into a woman more fitting of being the matriarch of the Zoldycks.
And while he doesn’t want to break you down or remake you, he’s following his father’s example in making sure that you’re entirely accounted for. You’re his responsibility, and while he doesn’t view you as merely a pet, you’ll often feel like a glorified dog with the way he controls your life down to every second, always telling you that it’s time to go eat, or time to sleep, or time to shower, or time to kiss him and let him undress you.
He's pushy without even meaning to be, but if you bring this behavior up to him, he’ll be surprised. Genuinely – his brows will quirk up ever so slightly, his already wide eyes getting a hair wider because really? I had no idea, my dear. Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I will reduce the frequency on my instructions towards you.
But he doesn’t, even if he promises he will.
And it’s not entirely his fault – he thinks he is, even going so far as to be expectant of your praise when he holds himself back from telling you to use the other fork when he’s dining with you privately. Surely you must be proud of him – he’s doing as you asked, being a good husband and fulfilling your desires and wishes.
So why aren’t you praising him?
Why aren’t you mentioning anything about how generous he’s being, how considerate he is?
You’ve blatantly disregarded his attempts at trying to be less ‘controlling’, as you claim, and Illumi takes this as a sign to only double down and become more omnipresent, because obviously you haven’t quite learned how to be a kind, grateful, adoring wife.
You haven’t quite yet learned the lessons he’s been trying to teach you – so you need more guidance. You need more advice, a firmer hand to push you towards becoming the best, most noble version of yourself, and lucky, lucky you has a loving, oh so eager husband right there willing to step into that role.
He’s domineering and in control of every aspect of your life, but there’s almost a small sense of relief that you’ll eventually feel. Because really, while it makes you feel weak and pathetic and pitiful to have him controlling how long you brush your teeth every morning and night, isn’t there something kind of nice about relinquishing your responsibilities? Isn’t there something oddly nice about not having to make your own decisions, to let Illumi take care of everything, to not have to worry about anything ever again?
It's the Stockholm Syndrome talking, and you may even know it – but it doesn’t matter, because the longer you spend under Illumi’s thumb, the less you’ll find yourself caring about things like choice and autonomy and preference. All that matter is what he wants, what he thinks is best – because really, doesn’t he know best?
Isn’t he superior to you in every possible way?
Protective
Illumi has a very, very good understanding of the human body.
He has to – his job depends on it, after all, and Illumi is nothing if not dedicated to his work. He knows every muscle, vein, and bone, their purpose and exactly what it would mean if it was removed.
He knows what organs must stay in tact for survival, how much blood a person can lose and stay conscious, how cold temperature can drop before hypothermia begins, even how long a person can survive without sleeping.
And it’s this wide breadth of knowledge that leads Illumi to know just how pathetically weak you are.
There are so many possible ways to hurt you – everything from a gunshot to a paper cut could potentially end your tragically fragile life, and the longer Illumi watches you, the more uncomfortable this knowledge becomes.
It’s not that you’re objectively incapable of defending yourself – perhaps you know some basic self-defense, or perhaps your survival instincts are sharp enough to keep you away from dangerous situations. No – it’s more that Illumi knows what other people are capable of, what nen is capable of, and he knows that you’d simply be no match if someone were to attack you.
And so, this puts him into a rather uncomfortable spot; at the beginning of his obsession with you, when his feels were still freshly formed and underdeveloped, he felt no sense of protectiveness over you. You’re an adult, you can care for yourself – you’ve survived this long, haven’t you?
But then he starts noticing how wide your smile can get, or how soft your hand is when you’re sleeping, or how pretty your voice sounds when you’re singing in your kitchen and making yourself dinner.
He starts noticing that you’ve been biting your lip, the skin a little puffy and swollen and stinging a bit. Did you know that your lip could get infected, and if you don’t get to a doctor fast enough, that infection could cost you your life?
He starts noticing that the skin of your hands is a little dry, and you keep getting hangnails. Did you know that dry skin can be a sign of serious nutrition deficiencies, and if you don’t enough potassium you could end up in the hospital and slowly waste away until you eventually can no longer hold on?
He starts noticing that sometimes your voice gets a little hoarse after you try to sing a particularly high note, your voice cracking and a series of coughs racking your body. Did you know that if you cough too hard, you can actually strain your lungs and affect their ability to take in oxygen, potentially suffocating you?
Time passing brings him to the realization that the idea of you dying makes him frown, something unpleasant brewing in his chest that he guesses is sadness. He doesn’t like the idea of you passing away – he wants you alive, and if you were to die, he wouldn’t be able to watch you anymore, to feel that warm, addicting feeling in his heart you give him. If you were to suddenly keel over and die, he’d be left all alone – like normal, yes, but now that he knows what it's like to have someone, to want someone, Illumi doesn’t think he could return to his old existence.
And so, the solution is simple: keep you alive.
Except, it’s much harder to keep someone living and breathing than it is to simply kill them, and quickly Illumi is realizing just how tall an order this is. Because really, there’s just so much that could potentially injure you, that could potentially lead to your life being in danger.
You’re just so damn clumsy – he’s watched you trip over air, and if you’re that naturally unaware of your surroundings, who’s to say you wouldn’t be susceptible to even the most minor injuries? How can he be sure that you’ll manage to evade even the most innocent of accidents?
You won’t. He’s sure of it.
And so, he’s growing slightly paranoid because every new object you encounter is immediately a threat to him, five different ways that object could endanger you immediately flashing through his mind.
A pair of car keys? They’re dull and blunt, sure, but if they were thrust into your chest just right they could rupture something, cause you to bleed out, give you tetanus or metal poisoning.
A book you’re obsessing over? You could get a papercut, a slice across your pretty skin, and Kalluto has proven that paper can be incredibly deadly.
Your damn cell phone? Well, the screen is horrible for your eyes, your information could be sold and land in the hands of someone nefarious, and he knows you look at it while you’re walking on busy streets.
There’s just so many avenues for you to get hurt, and Illumi works himself to the bone to prevent any of them from successfully causing you harm. And he’s effective, too – you’ll find your knives have suddenly disappeared, your razors too, even any sort of pill you have that’s stronger than Ibuprofen.
All your outlets have suddenly stopped working, your ovens too, even your dishwasher.
Your shower doesn’t seem to be able to get as hot as it used to, and you don’t remember your pillows being as fluffy or numerous as they currently are.
You’ll know something is wrong, your anxiety shooting through the roof because someone must be robbing you, setting foot into your home and stealing all your things.
The reality is much more sinister, much more terrifying, and as soon as you wake up in Illumi’s hold, you’ll realize that your situation is much, much worse than you’d imagined.
He’s going to every length to keep you safe and sound from potential harm, even if it leaves you feeling pitiful and beyond ashamed, the babyproofed bathroom he lets you use making you ill when you see the way there’s locks on the cabinets to prevent you from rooting around for anything that could cause irreparable damage.
It’ll make you feel incompetent, embarrassed even when Illumi tries to comfort you by saying that he doesn’t think you’re incapable, just not entirely trustworthy, my dear. There’s a difference.
(His voice is always just slightly condescending when he talks to you, and this is surely no exception – it’ll make you feel worse, but he doesn’t seem to notice or care.)
Because really, all that matters to Illumi is making sure that you stay alive – he’s selfish, wanting to keep you solely to himself, and even if that means making sure you go nowhere unaccompanied, to nothing without his help, make no decisions by yourself, he doesn’t mind.
He’s doing it for you, for your shared love, for the good of your relationship.
And if you don’t seem to understand that for now, he’s sure someday you will. Someday you’ll realize the extent to which Illumi cares for you – why else would he do so very much for you, his devotion to you spanning long before he finally got to sink his claws (and cock) into you?
So really, shouldn’t you be grateful?
DEALING WITH RIVALS:
Jealousy is very much not something Illumi has ever really had to deal with.
His whole life has been training, killing, devotion to his family and the Zoldyck name, and as an assassin he’s never really been envious of anyone, or really had strong enough feelings about anything to want something.
It’s a concept he understands in theory but begins questioning it when it comes to the way it makes people crazy, the way people act so strangely in circumstances where envy and jealousy are concerned. It seems entirely stupid, something that only serves to derail situations.
And yet, once a strange nagging feeling begins at the edges of his mind, Illumi finds himself wondering if this is the famous jealousy he’s always heard of.
It doesn’t feel good – it’s like there’s something pulling at his heart, a hand wrapped around it and squeezing every so often, the feeling almost painful and certainly irritating.
But the more he’s around you, the more it persists – almost seeming to grow by the day, even if you’re fully alone, in your apartment reading a book or scrolling through your phone. Illumi very suddenly understands why jealousy is known as something so horrible, something that eats you up inside and won’t leave you alone – that is, Illumi quickly begins noticing that he isn’t the only man vying for your attention and love.
Because he’s constantly watching you, following you and making sure that he knows everything there is to know about your life and relationships with others, he doesn’t miss the situations where you interact with another man, where you smile and laugh and even compliment other men, all right in front of him.
(Illumi tends to conveniently disregard the fact that you aren’t able to sense him, that you aren’t aware that you have a dangerous, murderous stalker trailing your every move.)
It’s irritating, frustrating, distracting enough to be seriously affecting his work – he’ll have a fleeting thought of the way you’d smiled at that other man a week ago as he goes for the final stab into the target’s chest, but the slight snarl he lets out has him missing just slightly, instead nicking the target in the shoulder and giving them an opportunity to scramble away.
Illumi’s irritation only increases at that, and soon there’s blood splattered along the floor as he breaths deeply, the red staining his clothing standing out bright.
He really tried to ignore it at first, but once it began affecting him even when he’s not in your presence, Illumi knew he had to solve the problem. And after a quick, rather detached conversation with his father about it, Illumi was quickly enlightened that he was in fact jealous, his father having laughed lightly and patting him on the arm, telling him that it’s natural to feel that way about your wife, Illumi. Your duty is as an assassin, but as a member of this family. If the woman you’ve chosen to bear your heir is giving you such feelings, I see no harm in acting upon them. It will serve you well to focus more on your work, as well.
And so Illumi embraces this newfound permission to foster this emotion - it’s odd, the way what he’s fairly confident is anger coils around his heart, making his fists clench slightly, his nails digging into his palms as he watches you talk and laugh with that man. That man, who probably doesn’t even know how to use nen, who probably doesn’t even understand how perfect of a wife you could be, how good of a mother and perfect addition to his family you’d be.
It’s strange, and while Illumi doesn’t particularly enjoy it, he can’t deny the odd sense of finality that comes with killing without being paid to, the strange sensation of enjoying ending a life. He finds himself smiling after plunging his nails into a man’s jugular, but Illumi isn’t too horribly bothered.
It’s new and strange, but so is everything else you make Illumi experience, after all. Why should this be any different?
As he trails behind you in the shadows, his dark eyes train in on your figure as you bite your lip and look over the selection of fruit displayed out on the cart of the farmer’s market.
Illumi stays perfectly still, completely focused on watching you. You’re wearing a pair of jeans today, pants that hug your figure a little too tightly for his tastes, along with a sweatshirt that does quite the opposite – hiding your upper body, which Illumi only finds slightly more agreeable.
(In the back of his mind, he makes a mental note to have a talk with you about proper dress for a woman such as yourself – a woman who’s to become part of a powerful, wealthy family, and as such must represent them - and her husband - with her head held high and confidence oozing from her. He’s sure a nice skirt and blouse will do the trick – silky or satin, shimmery and soft like you. Or, perhaps, a dress – maybe a floral pattern or a deep magenta. Of course, you’ll eventually be wearing purple, the Zoldyck family color, but he knows women enjoy fashion, and he's interested to see what you’d pick.)
As he thinks through what he’ll say to you, already planning out how the conversation will go, he notices a man with shaggy brown hair and honey brown eyes take a deep breath and walk beside you, standing next to you and looking over the selection of apples, pears, oranges and various other fruits.
Illumi’s expression makes no change as the brunette says something about how there’s always too many options at markets like these, types of fruit that he’s never heard of making it difficult to choose, to which you laugh and full heartedly agree.
The assassin makes no move, but as he watches and listens with distaste lodged in the back of his throat, you continue on the conversation, asking the man’s advice on which type of apple you should get.
It’s a short interaction, in all honesty - maybe a minute maximum, but Illumi is still watching with a heavy, piercing gaze, feeling the same odd, sickly feeling rise up from his chest.
He’s already decided that if the man moves to lay even a finger on you he’ll emerge from the shadows, swiftly and triumphantly piercing his chest with his entire hand.
Maybe that’ll get him to stop talking.
But the man doesn’t, and so Illumi begrudgingly lets the conversation run its course. You eventually say goodbye to the man and ask him if he’d like to meet up at the same booth in a week to compare the types of fruit.
Immediately Illumi’s fist clenches, his nails sharpening and digging into his palms, drops of blood littering the pavement below him as his eyes never stray, keeping trained on you as you walk in the opposite direction of the man, who is now blushing and smiling like a fool.
Disgusting, Illumi thinks as he follows the man.
The world won’t miss him, is all he’s thinking as he pulls a pin and flicks his wrist, the needle sinking into his neck. He watches with a dull gaze as the fast acting poison renders the man immobile, falling to his knees as his chest slows its breaths, eventually no longer moving.
You most certainly won’t, he thinks as he picks up the body, unsheathing the needle after life has left the body, finding a nearby trash bin to stuff the man into.
It isn’t the most efficient method of dealing with a body, but Illumi can’t be bothered – after all, in the some thirty seconds it’s taken him to deal with the man who thought he had a chance with what Illumi has already claimed as his, you’ve managed to make it a bit further from him, wandering through the maze of stalls with the bag full of produce in your hands.
He’s immediately falling into step behind you, the flexing of his fingers doing nothing to distract him as he brings back his stare, internally sighing as he sees another man – this time blond – look over at you and not so subtly rake his eyes up and down your body.
Illumi’s brow twitches – he only brought twenty needles this morning, and you’ve only been at the market for some fifteen minutes. Already he only has three left, and with a small sigh he reminds himself to bring more tomorrow, as he’ll surely use them.
And really, while Illumi doesn’t enjoy that other men are looking at you, being deluded enough to believe that they have a chance with you, he needs to make sure that there are no complications with your union, that there will be no problems to take care of when he eventually whirls you away to his home, where you’ll be his lovely wife that provides him with children and a warmth he can’t explain.
There’s a certain thrill that comes with letting himself feel, with not pushing down the emotion as his father said – a certain thrill that he can only feel where you’re concerned.
After all, you’re just that special.
TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:
From the moment Illumi decides that you’re a good match for him, it becomes a known fact (at least, among his family) that you would eventually be living alongside him in the Zoldyck manor.
You don’t have a choice, really – all of his family lives together on the mountain, and you will be no exception, despite your temporary status as an honorary member.
(This status is temporary if only because now you aren’t an official Zoldyck, but the moment you become pregnant with his child, this status changes – you’re a real Zoldyck then, because inside you grows the family’s next assassin, a product of Illumi’s devotion to you and proof of your resolve to commit yourself to the Zoldycks. It’s all terribly romantic to Illumi, even if it makes you want to hurl, and he’ll have no qualms telling you this information – he’ll even frame it as if it’s some sort of incentive to get you eagerly spreading your legs for him. He treats it like you want to be accepted into the family – like it’s your deepest desire, and no amount of arguing or pleading with him will convince him otherwise.)
You will be sharing a bed with him, living under the same roof and spending all your time beside him when he’s not away for a job, whether you like it or not, and Illumi has known this from the very beginning. You’ll be curled up in his arms, his skin cold and slightly clammy as he holds you, his grip much too tight and stiff even as he sleeps – you can hardly move, every breath you take feeling constricted and controlled, as if Illumi is doing you a favor by allowing you just a bit of space to breathe.
It takes him a while to fully develop and understand what his feelings mean, but once he does he isn’t holding back in any form - his family was, for lack of a better word, floored the night that their eldest son casually mentioned having selected his future wife. Kikyo was immediately pressing him for details, wanting to know every fact and scrap of information about her future daughter in law, which Illumi was happy to provide.
He immediately spouted off your name, age, basic personality, physical features, hobbies, interests, important life events, past and current jobs, relationships with your parents, friends, partners, anything and everything he can think of, Kikyo listening all the while with a scowl on her face. She’s confused on why her precious son has chosen you, considering you weren’t a skilled nen user, a fighter or even someone of great importance.
She���s not completely convinced of her son’s choice, but there’s a strange determination to Illumi’s normally lifeless eyes that she can see that makes her back off a bit, leaving her with an odd sense of finality in his words, confidence in his decision that makes it hard to argue.
(Besides, everyone knows Killua is the true heir of the family – as long as Illumi produces members to join the Zoldyck ranks, it’s not so important who chooses to wed. As long as they’re suitable for conception, she’ll begrudgingly accept – perhaps not with enthusiasm, but she’ll relent nonetheless.)
Silva is listening as well, though not as intensely as his wife, and after Illumi finishes his some twenty minute recall of your information, he merely takes a sip of his drink and nods, telling his son to treat her with care, she sounds weak in comparison to you.
Milluki is rolling his eyes, wondering why his brother decided on someone so normal, though he doesn’t dare say anything. Internally, though, he’s already imagining what you look like, his mental picture of you built upon Illumi’s descriptions, but with just a bit more detail – things his brother hadn’t mentioned, like the size of your chest or if you’re clumsy or if your voice is high and feminine and whiny.
Kalluto only nods, wondering what you’ll be like in person if you’ve managed to catch his older brother’s eye.
His mother is still disappointed in his choice, but wastes no time helping Illumi prepare for your eventual arrival, helping him create a regiment for how to integrate you into the family, how to work with your needs, considering your status as a mere commoner.
And while Illumi lets his mother plan and schedule and bustle about, he’s merely thinking of how he should take you away, tuning out his mother’s shrill words as she yells and commands butlers, telling them to prepare and clean and do everything so that Illumi’s new wife will be received well.
In all reality, Illumi – while very much concerned with his family’s acceptance of you, considering the tightness and loyalty instilled into him – isn’t especially concerned about the plans his mother is running wild preparing. He knows that with enough time and training, you’ll eventually fit right into the mold his mother wants you to, or at least as far into it as Illumi is allowing.
Because really, while he agrees that you need to be toughened up at least a little bit in order to survive in the mansion and be strong enough to bear his children, he doesn’t want your core personality to change – he fell in love with you for a reason, and while you must be trained a bit to survive as a Zoldyck, he doesn’t want you to become a stranger.
And so instead of listening to his mother’s plans, he’s slipping out under the cover of nightfall and climbing through the familiar window of your bedroom, your sleeping form laying so still and peaceful, like you’re just waiting for him to come steal you away.
A pin (as much as he hates piercing your skin with the needle, it must be done) is applied to your shoulder and your sleep is suddenly much heavier, your body visibly going limp, your breaths getting longer and deeper, and for a moment he worries that he’s infused too much nen into the needle, that your breathing will just keep slowing until it eventually stops.
His grip against his spare needles tightens at the thought, the force so strong that it snaps the metal in half, the sound knocking him from his thoughts as he blinks down at you, a small sense of relief filling him because your chest is still steadily rising and falling.
Illumi carries you in his arms back to the manor, not minding the weight of your body holding him down.
And just as he passes through the gates, he feels what he thinks might be excitement brewing in his chest.
Life with Illumi will be, in all honesty, hell.
It’s not so much that he enjoys making you miserable or seeing you uncomfortable, but rather that he’s grown up with such intense expectations, such strict regimes and schedules that he upholds you to similar standards.
Of course, you won’t be going through training to become an assassin while you’re with him – no practice with combat or anything so violent, if only because Illumi’s worry over your safety prohibits him from allowing you anywhere near a knife or a fist cocked and ready to be swung.
(Not to mention the fact that he plans on you going absolutely nowhere without him, and as such there’s no reason for you to learn how to defend yourself. You don’t need to build up immunity to poison, how to most effectively snap a neck, or to learn any number of the cruel things that he thinks are much too unwomanly for someone like you.)
No, the schedule and timetables he puts you on are much more general, humiliating, dehumanizing – being told when you can and can’t use the restroom is something you’ll quickly come to realize takes away even the barest scrap of dignity and independence you have left under Illumi’s control.
He dictates what time you wake up, what you eat for each meal of the day, and your activities between meals - comprised mostly of more feminine things, as his mother advised you learn, like sewing and mending, floral arrangement, proper dining etiquette, and of course, lessons on how to properly raise children, taught by Kikyo herself.
(From the get go, it will be extremely apparent to you that the entirety of the Zoldyck family – Illumi included – expect offspring, assuming with little thought that you’ll be bearing the eldest son’s children in what Silva has expressed as sooner than you think with a small nod and poignant stare. Shivers had run down your spine at the way Illumi’s gaze on you seemed to only grow in intensity at his father’s comment, his cold fingers pressing against the small of your back in a way that made your skin crawl. Besides, the built in conception time, as Illumi so lovingly puts it, makes it more than obvious that he’s fucking you with the intent of getting you pregnant.)
It’s demeaning, the way you’re treated like some toddler, some incompetent idiot with the way Kikyo flutters around you, her shrill voice echoing through the corridors as you cower and obey.
It isn’t that you want to be obedient to a family you’ve come to realize is beyond fucked up, but you’ve also seen Illumi at work. He’s come home to you covered in blood, giving you a small smile as he awkwardly leans down to press a chaste kiss against your lips, his dark eyes staying open the whole time.
You don’t particularly want to be the submissive, obedient future mother of Illumi’s children like everyone in the manor is expecting you to be (with the exception of Killua, whom Illumi desperately wants you to get along with, and he may honestly be the only ray of light within this dark, musty home – at least he somewhat understands how fucked up the situation is, though he’s told you many times that there’s nothing he can do to help you).
But the constant threat of the fact that anyone in the house could kill you with a simple flick of the wrist is not lost on you, and while Illumi genuinely terrifies you for much of the first few months of your captivity, you quickly learn to obey his every word, to live to please him.
He’s really the only ally you have – he’s more forgiving, easier to try and wiggle your way out of a less severe punishment with, especially as you learn to predict his wishes.
He wants you to wear a certain kimono that he thinks looks beautiful on you? You hate the pattern on it and the way the style makes your figure look, but you scramble to slide into the fabric, trying to ignore his ever present stare boring into your naked body.
He wants you to come play with his hair, because he’s been told by his father that it feels nice and he’s seen couples do it? immediately you’re clambering to sit on the chair behind his seated position on the floor, running your fingers through his dark locks while he sits stick straight, silence enveloping the two of you.
He wants you to lay beside him while he rests, recovering his energy from a recent mission? You’re already slipping underneath the sheets, clearing a space for him and letting him wrap his arms around your waist and pull you against him.
(He’s so stiff even when he ‘cuddles’ you – his skin is so cold, his back straight, his grip on you tight enough to make you squirm, and the hot breath against your neck when he tells you that he’s missed you, my dear, my day is less bright without your presence will make you wince.)
Some of his wishes are, admittedly, much more difficult to obey than others, however – when he tells you to lay back and spread your legs while he’s shimmying off his pants, it’s difficult to not fight, to not cry and scream as he pushes into you, his eyebrows twitching together and his pale fists clenching by your head as he slowly begins humping into you.
He isn’t necessarily bad to you per se, though quickly his family picks up on his cluelessness on how to truly treat a spouse, and so after a few comments from Silva about how to properly woo you (maybe she will be less unruly, and you may have more luck producing children this way as well) he actually does take his advice and try to make at least some attempt at romancing you.
He’s telling you robotically delivered compliments, buying you bouquets of roses, even rewarding your good behavior with small knick knacks from your old apartment and life – but it’s not enough; the fear of him is still far greater than the almost charming awkwardness he exudes in moments of intimacy and tenderness will ever be.
You’ll essentially become a submissive, sweet little housewife under Illumi’s care, and even if you hate it, even if you try with everything you have to not be subjected to the future of bearing his children, holding the famous last name of Zoldyck, and being completely subservient to the man who kidnapped you and forcefully began a ‘relationship’ with you, Illumi and the rest of his family have ways of making sure you stay in line.
And before long, you’ll grow to accept your place, to realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do.
PUNISHMENTS:
In all honesty, Illumi rarely gets actually mad at you – he’s much more frequently disappointed when you don’t behave correctly, when you fight him or make some weak attempt at escaping.
He doesn’t get mad, but there is this small sense of pity that he feels when he watches you cry and beg him to not come any closer, to please let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone what happened! Please, I don’t want to be with you or your sick family!
It hurts, if he’s being honest, but he knows that in order to train you, to mold you into the perfect spouse and future mother of his children, he needs to be patient.
Dogs can’t be expected to follow commands from the very beginning, right?
And so, when he kneels down to where you’re curled up in the corner of your shared room, his dark hair hanging around you like a curtain while his wide eyes never blink and stay situated on you, he’s merely tilting his head and asking in a voice much too serious to be natural, oh but darling, can’t you see you’re already part of this family? Now, dinner is to be ready in thirty minutes. I need to properly prepare you.
He actually has a surprising amount of patience with you – you make him soft (or at least as soft as he can be, though anyone that knows him well can spot the differences in his treatment and air around you), and he doesn’t really want to harm you or scare you.
It’s a necessary evil in his eyes, though if he had his way, he’d train you to the point where you’re willingly looking at him with love.
He’d train you until you’re welcoming him home with a sweet kiss to his cheek after a long job with a toddler clutching at your legs, a baby suckling at your breast and a swollen belly telling him and the rest of the world exactly who you belong to, your lovesick cry of his name when you see him making the smile plastered onto his lips that much more genuine.
You make him feel, something so foreign and strange, and to Illumi this new, small amount of emotion feels downright overwhelming, something so strong and powerful and wonderful. It’s addicting, truly, something that he finds himself actively wanting, a concept he’s never felt before towards anything except bringing back Killua.
And so while he doesn’t particularly enjoy punishing you, it’s worth it to keep those feelings alive, to build up to the point where his fantasies of your domestic future with one another come to fruition.
So really, while he doesn’t get mad at you very often, he won’t hesitate to dole out punishments where he sees fit – it’s all for a greater purpose, he tells you, though you have your doubts.
Besides, there’s something even more disturbing about him punishing you when he isn’t even angry – it’s worse because it all just seems so pointless; maybe if he was yelling you would understand why he’s doing what he’s doing. He’d seem human, maybe, capable of emotion – instead, you get those familiar, dead eyes staring at you, his expression carefully neutral as he tells you that this is for your own sake, my dear, and one day you’ll see that.
When it comes to actually punishing you, Illumi’s aversion to causing you any sort of physical harm prevents him from inflicting a whole varietyof punishments onto you – he doesn’t want to taint your delicate skin, to break a bone, to do any number of things that he’s been told over and over by his family would help.
(Milluki insists that breaking both of your legs would be a good way to prevent any kind of behavior targeted around trying to escape, and while Illumi understands the logic and even agrees with it, the look of your teary eyes staring up at him and your desperate pleads to not hurt you are simply too much.)
(Milluki also suggests, with a crude grin and a gulp, that perhaps letting him try a hand at getting you to cooperate would be helpful – besides, he’ll add with a smarmy smile and his tongue flicking out over his lips, a Zoldyck heir is a Zoldyck heir, doesn’t matter who knocked her up, right? That night, Milluki ended up with the broken bone rather than you.)
He isn’t sure why he’s so incapable of hurting you considering his profession, but he just can’t – and so, he finds other methods.
Namely, your mental state is completely fair game; he’s training you after all, and when the basement of the Zoldyck mansion is just so expansive, so cold and wet and so very dark, how can he not use that to his advantage?
Your eyes are casted downwards, your voice soft and unsure as you ask if you can see my family again? Kikyo mentioned that it’s December, and there’s an important birthday in the family this month that I’d like to celebrate with them…
Illumi had been cuddling you (or, at least holding you in his arms while he lay on his side, completely frozen and inhaling the scent of your hair again and again while you uncomfortably squirmed around), but the moment those words tumble from your lips, he’s blinking pensively, pondering your statement.
I don’t know of any birthdays in the family this month.
When you try again, telling him that it’s your family you’re talking about, the one you were raised in and that you love, immediately he’s cutting you off.
My dear, you must be mistaken. The nearest birthday is Grandfather’s, and that isn’t for another month.
His voice is firmer this time, as if he’s trying to tell you something, but some part of you refuses to silently accept his blatant dismissal of your request.
Illumi you don’t understand, it’s –
his grip is tightening even more, practically suffocating you as his nails dig into your exposed arms, his voice somewhere between a hiss and a scold.
No, my love, you don’t understand. Don’t speak of them. They are no longer your family – you are a Zoldyck now, and you’ll forget all of those past imposters. You will not, under any circumstances, be allowed to see them again. Now, come with me.
And it’s not like you have much of a choice – as he picks you up and brings you down the stairs, endless winding hallways that steadily grow colder and colder the deeper you head, you’re flailing, apologizing profusely, anything to not have to spend another few nights in the basement.
And while Illumi doesn’t enjoy the tears that stream down your cheeks, he stays strong and ties you to the chains connected to the walls – loose enough that you can be seated on the ground, but tight enough to restrict any movement.
Once you’re stationary, he stands before you and stares, the light from the door behind him illuminating his figure.
I expect you to tell me who your real family is when I return.
And with that, he’s walking out the room and slamming the door shut behind him, leaving you shrouded in darkness, with nothing but the sound of your own breathing and heartbeat to entertain you.
He generally leaves you down there for three days, give or take – enough to have you dehydrated, your stomach growling and rumbling painfully at the lack of food, cold seeping into your bones and leaving you shivering and shaking, all the while fear envelopes you because there’s something here with you, you just know it.
The sounds coming from the corner of the room are too difficult to ignore, though you have no idea what it could be. You presume it’s some sort of creature, designed to kill you if Illumi so desires, the scuttling noise making fear creep up your spine every time you hear it. The sounds are ryhtmic, predictable, always going off in roughly thirty minute intervals, leading you to believe the creature is smart, or at least trained to be so.
It’s terrifying and your mind will conjure up images of terrifying, grotesque beasts in its bored and fearful state, but in reality the monster in question is Illumi himself – he grows so dependent on you that he can’t be away from you for more than about a day, so he treats himself to hiding in the shadows and simply watching you.
You’re very pretty, even when you’re crying and covered in dirt and covered in your own piss, and it’s in those moments that Illumi truly realizes how deeply his feelings for you run, how badly he wants you to be his everything. He just can’t stop looking at you, those dark eyes raking over your figure over and over and over, moving his position roughly every thirty minutes to get a new angle of you.
(Though, it’s not like he needs to see you to remember what you look like from this angle, he’s stalked you so thoroughly and so heavily that he could draw your face in his sleep with pinpoint accuracy, your features metaphorically carved behind his eyelids so that he’ll always see you you you when he blinks.)
And when he eventually opens the door once more, light cracking into the room and making you violently blink, he’s asking if you’ve learned your lesson yet, if you’re finally understanding who your real family is, and immediately you’re practically yelling that yes, I understand! I’m a Zoldyck, the Zoldycks are my real family! I love them and I love you, Illumi, because I’m your wife and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be!
(If you were in a better state of mind you’d have the energy to be ashamed of yourself, but you’re so desperate to get out of this cellar and into the warmth, to drink something and eat something and be away from the thing trapped in there with you that you just don’t care.)
He nods, satisfied, and opens the locks, only to blink in surprise when you wobbly embrace him, sobbing into his chest and clutching onto his clothes because even though he’s unnaturally cold, he’s still warmer than the hell you’ve been in for the last three days.
And while he’s not the best at physical affection, he’ll wrap his arms around you and pull you tighter, crushing you against his hard chest whispering in your ear that he’s so glad you’ve finally accepted your place.
OVERALL DANGER:
9/10
The danger that lies with being Illumi’s darling is honestly just the fact that once he chooses you, there is absolutely no chance of escaping him.
He’s a trained assassin with connections everywhere; outside of death itself, there’s no way for you to get away from him, no matter how hard you try or who you manage to recruit into aiding you.
(And even if you were to somehow manage to kill yourself, Illumi will keep your dead body by his side – holding it at night while he sleeps, propping you in a chair across from him while he eats and carries on a one sided conversation about work that day, even going so far as to fuck your cold, lifeless body just to feel you.)
He’s lived his whole life feeling nothing at all, and the second that you inspire any bit of emotion within him, his whole perspective seems to alter just slightly, something warm and strange and good blooming in his chest. It’s something completely foreign, but the longer it goes on the more he decides the likes it, growing used to the feeling and craving more of it, finding himself yearning – yes, yearning – to feel it once more when he’s been away from you for long periods of time.
Once he realizes that the common cause of this feeling is you, Illumi is deciding that you’re the one he’ll be adding to the Zoldyck family as his partner, his spouse, his lover.
You’ll be the one to bear his children and continue on the name, all while he gets to enjoy the strange warmth in his chest, the odd protectiveness that forces him to keep you locked up, safe from the outside world, the strange urge he feels to reach out and touch you, to see you smile, to feel your lips against his own.
And so while he won’t ever directly physically harm you, your mental state will be destroyed, and you’ll be in constant fear that someday he’ll decide you aren’t worth the trouble, that once he impregnates you and you give him a few heirs, he’ll kill you off effortlessly.
These fears will never, ever see fruition of course, but the trouble with Illumi is that you just never know.
He’s skilled in the art of killing, but his skills in lying are quite formidable as well – you can never truly tell when he’s being honest with you, and while he’s never fully lied to you (only misrepresented facts and led you to believe something that may not be entirely true), you’ll live in a constant state of unease because you’re so, so very aware that he could kill you with a mere flick of his wrist if he so desired, and what’s stopping him? He claims to be in love, but in what world is this love?
And you, lucky lucky you, get the lovely package deal of not only him, but his fucked up family as well – so good luck, and really, just let him mold you into the perfect, obedient little wife he wants you to be.
You’ll be much, much happier in the end.
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teddy-yandere · 2 years
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Platonic Yandere! Zoldyck Family x Reader
⚠️WARNING⚠️ will contain dark themes
A / N = Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I did not proofread this. Please read my bio before requesting, and make sure that my requests are open or else your request will be deleted. Enjoy <3
«★»———- HXH Adult Trio Masterlist
* .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * * .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * . *.:。✧ *゚ ゚・ ✧.。. *.
★ When you were first born , Silva and Kikyo made the easy decision to not raise you to be a assassin. ( Silva thought that you were too weak , and Kikyo just wanted to have you all to herself ). That being said , you were raised away from the whole “ must become a assassin “ vibe of the house. Instead you would spend you days with mainly Kikyo ( you mother ) .
★ It did doesn’t matter what your gender is , Kikyo loves to dress you up in fancy outfits.
★ Because you are so precious to the family , I can imagine Silva and Illumi being extremely strict over everything you can , and can’t do . Illumi is the type of guy who hovers over you shoulder watching everything you do with his blinking black eyes. He stares at you so much that sometimes you swear that you can feel someone staring at you in the middle of the night. While you are in bed .
★ Before you even ask - yes Illumi gets very jealous of his siblings whenever you hang out with them- especially Killua, instead of him. Illumi will happily let you sleep in his bed at night , when it rains ( or if you have a nightmare ) because he knows that you feel safe with him.
★ He will happily hum you a soft song and rub your back to comfort you whenever you have a nightmare
★ Milluki is the type of guy who would typically charge his other family members for his services - but not you. In fact , I am pretty sure that you are the only meme we if the family who is “ nice to him “. Similarly to the rest of his family , he feels a sort of obligation to take care of you.
★ That being said , he will happily monitor all of your social media accounts , and eliminate any of your online friends who he feels you two are getting “ to close “ to each other.
★ Zeno is definitely a more laid back yandere compared to the others.
★ He honestly prefers to stick to spoiling you , and trying to make sure that you know that what the family is doing for you is good. Since the moment you were born , Zeno made sure to get in your good side ( by buying you ice cream whenever you wanted ). That way , you would follow his rules. Now that I think about it , Zeno and Kikyo are very similar in many ways. They both love spoiling you. <3
★ Killua is extremely clingy to you. Because he is a little spoiled,he will basically demand your time. Whenever you were little , Killua would love to boss you around ( in a playful way ). When he is older , he definitely loves to protect you from any else. Remeber how I said that Illumi gets jealous of Killua ?… well yeah.
★ The two brothers are basically in a emotional battle to be your favorite. Let’s just say that they get very competitive. Poor Alluka has to try to drag you away from their mess.
★ I got too lazy to finish this
* .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * * .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * . *.:。✧ *゚ ゚・ ✧.。. *.
Thanks for reading , Darling !! <3
Have a nice Day / Night ~
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novasdarling · 2 years
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Growing Pains
Yandere! Illumi x reader
TW: Kidnapping Hinted, Pregnancy, Zoldyck Child Training(Idk what to label it as), Sort of Forced Pregnancy and Dubcon, Female Reader.
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A cry woke you from your sleep again. It had to be the fifth time in the last few hours that she had woken up. Heading towards the crib near your bed, you checked to see why Sora was crying again. She couldn’t be hungry again, you swore you had just fed her not too long ago. You silently prayed she wasn’t teething yet, you weren't ready for that. Picking her up, you both sat on the bed. Trying to calm her down so you two could sleep again. Usually, she was in her own room with butlers that came to answer her calls at night, like with the other kids. But when Illumi was gone, it was nice to have another in the room with you at night. Even if she wouldn’t sleep.
Trying to hush her to bed seemed to be insignificant. A knock at the door proved that.
“Mrs Illumi.” You always hated how they referred to as that. Always linking you to Illumi. Master Illumi’s wife. Mrs Illumi. Mrs Zoldyck. Never just your name. “If you please, I can take her back to her nursery.” A butler had walked in. She was new but extremely sweet. You wondered how the hell she got here.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you though.”
The butler left, leaving you with a crying baby. She was the fussiest of all your kids. The others were better sleepers by miles. There was nothing you could really do right now, you had changed her, fed her, rocked her. Looking down at her, wondering what would make her cry like this. You needed to calm her, it would be embarrassing to have to call the butler back because you had failed. Failed to get your own child to rest. She was your child, you should be able to do this. Holding Sora closer, you hummed an old lullaby your own mother used to sing to you. It was more for you than her, a way to calm yourself down. If she sensed your tiredness and stress it would only make things worse.
The cries had finally stopped, looking down you saw Sora peacefully sleeping. It worked, the lullaby got her to sleep. Silently thanking your mother's need to sing all the time. You moved to lay Sora back into the bedside crib, but when you put her down, she woke. She just wouldn’t let you be. Taking her back into your arms, you laid her down on the bed near you. Making sure the bed was cleared on her side. Luckily Illumi had gotten the biggest bed possible. You kept your hand on Sora’s stomach. Humming and rubbing her, trying your best to get her back to sleep. Soon the cries stopped, her heavy eyes closed and so did yours. Both of you letting exhaustion win. Getting the much-needed sleep you both had been deprived all night.
The morning light shining through the window had lit up your room. The drawn back curtains had allowed the golden light to fall in and unfortunately hit your eyes. Waking you up. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, looking to the side expecting to see Sora, instead being met with an empty bed. Shooting up you looking around. She wasn’t by your bed, not in her crib. Where was she?
“Sora, Sora? Oh, god where is she?” You were running around the room the room, scared she fell off the bed and crawled somewhere.
“Mrs Illumi. Please relax. Sora is in the nursery with her siblings.”
It was the same butler as last night, she must have heard you running around the room shouting and came in. Her words calmed you down. She or one of the others most of gotten her before you woke up. You let out a breath of relief. She was safe and fine. Thanking and dismissing her, you got ready. Wanting to go see the kids in the nursery.
All you wanted to do was play with the children today, but Illumi was set to arrive back home soon. He'd never allow you to put all your attention on them when he was there. Dressing in Illumi’s favourite dress, as he was supposed to come home after dinner and always liked you ready to greet him in an outfit he enjoyed. It was like this ever since he had taken you as his wife. He had strict rules for you and the children. It was better when you played the part of the perfect wife. After all these years, it had gotten easier. Especially after having Mary and Silva, the twins. You had them to focus on when he was gone, to distract you from him. Illumi even seemed to change. He had always been somewhat kind to you, after all he had taken you and made you his wife because he stated he loved you. But before the twins he was awkward, not knowing how to communicate with you. All he did before was keep the bed warm with you and spoil you in gifts. Even then, it was detached. It was clear he didn’t know what to do with you besides the occasional conversation, sitting in silence, and sex. At least now he was more aware what was needed in a relationship.
Once ready you headed to the nursery. The butler told you all of them there playing. It was nice that there were still moments they could be kids, even if they belonged to the Zoldyck family. Heading down the hall until you came to the room. The nursery was on the other side of the hall. Illumi stated it was best to keep them far from your two’s room. You argued which made him settle on allowing them to have their rooms on the same floor as yours.
Walking into the room you were met with a different view than what you expected. The kids were playing, but they weren't alone. It wasn’t the usual butler that was watching them, no it was Illumi.
“Hello dear. You look wonderful.”
“You’re home early. I thought you were homing after dinner.”
He explained that the target was easier than originally thought so he was able to come home earlier. Illumi was sitting on the couch, holding Sora while watching the other kids play. They all had some features of his. Whether it be his long hair, his height or his large eyes. At least those that did have his eyes didn't have the emptiness like his. According to Kikyo, their eyes were almost like yours. Held the same emotions as yours, but were his shape. Only Silva and Sora looked more like you. Though Silva had his grandfather’s white hair. Born with a full head of it, Kikyo demanded that he have a family name. You were so tired you would have agreed to anything to get everyone away from you and get some rest.
Illumi signalled you over. Putting Sora on the ground to be swarmed by her siblings. Then pulling you down to sit on his lap. A hand on your waist and one on your thigh. He began to talk about his target. How easy it was, the method and plan he used. You always hated how he talked about these things in Infront of the children. They were still so young, but then again, he always told you that soon they would be joining him. It was hard to look at the twins and think that even though they were only eight, they were already getting trained. Being prepared to be taken out on missions with their father. No matter how much you loved them, they would always be seen as possessions of the Zoldyck family. Belonging to Illumi, not you.
“Sweetie, don’t push your brother.” You went to get up, but Illumi held you down.
“Let them be. They can figure things out on their own.”
Illumi went back to ranting about whatever he pleased until he called the butlers in to take the children to training. You tried to ask him to let them stay longer, you had just woken up. Yet, once again Illumi’s word was final. Once the kids left, he led you out of the nursery and back towards the bedroom. Signalling for you to help him undress, he knew you rather have him change his clothes once he got home. It was foolish, but it made you feel like what he did wasn't real if he changed clothes.
“We should have another.”
What
“You-we, I thought we were only going to have the four?” You two already had the twins, Kilian and Sora.
“Yes, but you seem happy with the kids." He turned to look at you. Scanning your face. "Lay down on the bed.”
He was standing there shirtless while your hands were still helping him with his pants zipper. There was no arguing with him. You originally thought after the twins he’d stop but then Kilian came a few years after that and Sora after that. To you, the others weren't planned. At least not on your part. It was only after you found out you were pregnant with Sora that he revealed he wanted four. Illumi tended to do what he pleased with you. In a sense, you were lucky he even brought it up instead of just doing it.
You laid on the bed, watching as he finished undressing. You realized you were still dressed. Your attempts to get undressed were stopped by him. Illumi telling you to just remove your underwear. Doing as he said, sliding them down and off your legs while Illumi watched. His eyes refusing to look away as he crawled on the bed between your legs. He held position you in the middle of the bed. Keeping himself in the middle of your legs. Using his hands to hold them apart while he lowered his head. Moving towards your clit, sucking on it. He was good, too good. It was rather annoying, especially since he was so good at reading you. Listening and watching you to see what worked best, what drove you crazy and right now. He was succeeding. The way his lips attached around your clit, the way he used his tongue. It made you a moaning mess, struggling to get away from him. Only to have his hand come up and hold your hip down. It was mind-numbing in an amazing way. The way his tongue was swirling around your clit was bringing you closer and closer to the edge. It wasn’t fair how he did this to get his way. Make you a puddle so he could do what he pleased. It wasn’t fair, but then again it was better than when you first got here. He just would position you and did what he pleased. Barely even warming you up.
“Good. Almost there.”
You were more than almost there. You were at the edge ready to fall off. Just a few more swirls and you were screaming his name. Gripping his hair, unsure if you wanted to pull him away or bring him closer. It was intense. You were still catching your breath as Illumi wiped off his face and lined himself up. You could barely look straight, too much in a daze. Not focusing on him moving and lining himself up, until you felt his tip at your entrance.
“I-Illumi, I don’t k-know.”
“Shh. I’m not done.”
He wasn’t a man of words unless he wanted to be condescending or rude. Then he seemed to be very skilled with them. It was best to lay back and let him enjoy himself now. If you were good for him, he’d make sure you enjoy it too. But the idea that he wanted another kid was blocking that idea. Were you ever going to get a break from having kids? Sora wasn’t even a year old, this was sooner after than the others.
“Illumi, please, S-Sora's too young.”
“I want a few more and now.” Illumi dipped his head to your ear. Littering a few kisses by your temple and the shell of your ear. While he pushed in. “You always look good-mmmm so tight-when you have my baby.”
His pace was slow while he pushed into you and let you get used to him. The stretch had gotten better over time, it was less intense than the first few times you two were together. Then again, Illumi also learned to focus on getting you warmed up first.
His thrusts were speeding up. His gentleness only lasted so long, he liked to get you off first so he could focus on him. He was selfish in nature, but better than before. His face was buried in the crook of your neck as his hips slammed against yours.
“Good. So good.”
Illumi was in the heat of the moment. Losing himself in your cunt. Fucking into you roughly. The way he was aiming his hips. Trying to get as deep in as possible. Wanting to also hit your sweet spot. It felt good, rough, but good. If he just slowed down a bit he would last longer and make you cum around him.
“Illumi! Illumi! Please, s-slow down. Please.”
“No. I’m almost done.” He was attempting to keep his composer. It was faint, but there was some strain in his voice. “I’m going to put another baby in you.”
He leaned back for a moment, pushing your legs up against your chest into a mating press. Allowing himself to get deeper. He was getting close to becoming too much. You wanted to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. He was much stronger than you and once he was in the moment, there was very little you could do to push him away.
His grunts were loud and clear in your ear. Letting you know how much enjoyed being with you. He was hitting your sweet spot, ramming into it over and over. He was close, his thrusts were getting sloppy. You were getting close too. It wasn’t fair that he was making you feel so good when this wasn't really for you. He wanted another kid. You knew if he could, he’d probably keep you pregnant all the time.
“You looked good this morning. Laying in bed with Sora. Such a good mom” So that was it. Illumi was getting messy now, something that rarely happened. “I want more.”
The buildup was becoming too much. You clamped down on him, causing him to cum when you did. He held you tighter as he stilled. Filling you as much as he could and as deep as possible. While you were clawing at his back. Illumi was grinding into you, riding out his high. You were trying to catch your breath under him. Both of you lay there coming down from your highs. He came down faster than you, moving off of you to lay beside you. Watching your chest rise and fall trying to catch your breath.
“I hope for another boy like Silva. He’s getting further than I was at his age. Kilian seems to be too sensitive like you.”
Illumi was right, Kilian tended to come back from training in tears. It melted your poor heart. You never wanted this for them. If only all of them were more like Illumi. Mary tended to be a good spy, always telling her dad what you had been up to while he was away. He trained her well. You couldn’t help the way your eyes teared thinking of what your kids had become. They once were innocent little babies like Sora, but even she was receiving some training now and when she got older. She would become like the others.
“They’re kids Illumi...”
“Yes, my kids. They are part of the Zoldyck family and so will the others we have.” He moved closer, sitting up slightly and looking down at you. “I thought we were over this.”
“You're right, I'm sorry."
You remembered how you would cry and beg him to leave the twins alone when they started their training. Sometimes he'd lock you away as punishment so you wouldn't be able to see them for weeks. Spending that time alone crying over them. It was better to let him take them if it meant you could patch up their wounds after and be with them. It was cruel either way.
"Why do you want more now though? Sora is still so young.”
“I saw you with Sora this morning. You were so peaceful with her, you always looked that peaceful when pregnant. You always looked good.”
You smiled at his words. He was always the horniest when you were pregnant or when you two were trying. There was no arguing with him. You thanked him and laid a kiss on his lips. Illumi had come far from all those years ago. He was still cold and calculated, but at least now. Now he had his moments when he was alone with you and occasionally with the kids.
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cheesecakethots · 1 year
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yan!chrollo is the type of guy to try and make any pets you have love him, only for it to fail horribly. any cats you have hiss at him, and dogs will either growl or hide under tables when he shows up. if you have a bird it might start trying to peck him to death.
it’s funny because he’ll be trying extra hard to make them like him, he sees it that if he can get your pets to love him as they do you, you might be a little bit softer towards him (you won’t).
you find it extra funny when he’s trying to flirt with you, leaning over you with a little smirk only for your cat to come along like a true hero and start tearing at his trousers.
i have this idea tho of when you actually make chrollo mad, finally make him drop the gentleman act for just a second, your pets will know before you do. your cat will dart out of the room, dogs will start hiding and whining, birds squawking loudly etc.
pretty horrifying, actually. you’ll be trying to get under his skin, and from the corner of your eye see your cat’s tail spike up, before it sprints out of the room. huh, weir- and then within a split second chrollo is right in your face, leaning over you with a tight smile, asking you to repeat what you just said.
illumi on the other hand does not try at all to make your pets like him. he allows you to keep them at the manor after you beg and beg, but will not go further than a pat on the head or passively allowing it to sit in his lap for a bit.
despite this, your animals love him. cats will rub up and down his legs, purr, sit in his lap, lay on him etc… i feel cats are more his “thing”, but dogs might wag their tails much more, whine when he leaves etc. maybe your bird starts copying the very few words he speaks.
one day he’ll be looming over you, his aura heavy and eyes even darker than usual.
“run again and i’ll break your legs.”
you’re trembling in fear until your parrot speaks up.
“break your legs! break your legs!”
absolute traitor.
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animeyanderelover · 3 months
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Anon: NSFW headcanons for Akashi Seijuro, Murasakibara Atsushi, Aomine Daiki, Snake, Illumi, Kozume Kenma, Inumaki Toge and Choso Kamo?
Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, obsession, possessive behavior, dependency, delusional behavior, clinginess, stalking, isolation, abduction, Nsfw, dub-con, food play, size kink, bondage, temperature play, Katoptronophilia, shibari, impact play, praise kink, choking,claustrophilia, somnophilia, oral sex, breeding kink, impregnation kink, pregnancy kink, non-con, afab reader
Tags: @lovley-valentine7 @leveyani @chxxz @jamayah @cynniical @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59
Nsfw Hc's
Snake
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⚕️​You'd never expect someone who is a snake hybrid to be as mellow as Snake is as those reptiles normally have a feared reputation amongst most people. Your lover on the other hand is nothing like the unjustified reputation that snakes get, awfully shy and flustered whenever the two of you are together. Truth be told, he doesn't think that he is good enough for you at times even if his snakes try to convince him otherwise as they urge him to give in to his darkest desires. Tight suits and a lot of skin are nothing new to Snake as he spent years in a circus where he saw a lot of exposing outfits during performances yet one mere peek at more skin of yours than what he normally sees is already enough to fluster him greatly, his cheeks on fire as he he mutters a shaky apology before he turns around and quickly stumbles away, barely able to walk straight. He tries to sleep boners off though, feeling far too much shame to masturbate to the thought of you. When his cock doesn't go down though, he sneaks away to find an isolated spot where hopefully no one will catch him in the shameful moment, his relief short-lived as guilt fills him as soon as he has spilled his semen all over his hand.
⚕️​Unless he finds himself entering heat, Snake keeps quiet about his arousal and sexual needs around you, scared that you'd be disgusted to find out that you are the subject of his desires. The first time you two share together is going to be most likely initiated by you. A lot of patience and assurance will be required from your side though as Snake is frightened to reveal his full body to you. Even when partially undressed you notice that his shimmering scales cover parts of his arms, his thighs, his chest, abdomen and even his cock but your fascination for this triggers his insecurities as he was often shamed and ridiculed for it. It's very likely that he prefers being partially clothed during sex for a certain amount of time and you don't pressure him as you allow him to do what makes him most comfortable. His body is normally on a slightly cooler side but he heats up quickly, especially the parts of him that are covered in scales radiate the heat of his body. You can especially feel that when you sense the increasing warmth of his cock gliding in and out of you, the scales on it making every stroke smooth, his cheek ablaze with heat as he pants, hisses and grunts softly.
⚕️​Snake, inexperienced and worried that he may not satisfy you, prefers to let you be in charge of everything going on in the bedroom. He trusts you to lead everything and to let you do as you please with him. Whenever both of you get intimate, Snake desires extreme closeness so he always wants to be in a sex position where the both of you can hug each other or have as much skin to skin contact as possible. Outside of his heat, it is unlikely that he brings much to sex life but would be willing to try some kinks with you as long as they do not involve any pain. Since he tends to get very hot during sex you start bringing cold towels and ice cubes with you. What initially was only a thoughtful gesture out of worries quickly turned into the introduction of temperature play. Especially his scales are a very erogenous part of his body and you enjoy drawing an ice cube over his stomach, watching it melt on his skin whilst Snake feels his stomach knotting and his cock twitching inside of you. Even after both of you are finished the cold towely serve a purpose simply to cool him down as he clings to you.
⚕️​You aren't surprised when you discover that Snake loves being praised given his insecurities and his shunned past. After having even lost his family in the circus, you are the only person he really has left and adores as much as he does even if he has settled down in his new life as a servant of the Phantomhive mansion. He wants you to tell him that you love him and desire him, needs that positive reinforcement to fight against his own inner demons. Snake never demands or begs for it though but the way he clings to you during and after sex is always a silent way of expressing his needs. The gaze in his golden eyes speaks what he can't vocalise and you always see it through to ease his anxieties and doubts during sex about everything he feels insecure about. You make it a point to gently murmur your praises and your love to him, to caress the parts of his body covered in the glittering scales and to praise him for how good he is making you feel. His grip on you always tightens and sometimes you even hear his breath hitching when you express your own love and adoration for him. Sometimes those skillful touches and sweet words led to a premature ejaculation.
⚕️​Since the day you found out that Snake is a snake hybrid you have always silently wondered about something. It is the first open-mouthed kiss that confirms your suspicion when you feel his forked tongue tentatively engaging with yours as he allows you to dominate the kiss. You sometimes die on the inside as you wonder how it would feel if he were to use it to eat you out yet you do not wish to make him feel like he has to do it just because you ask him to. His tongue darts out often during sex, tasting your skin on instinct. His bashfulness doesn't mean that he doesn't notice your reaction to his forked tongue as he is quietly on the lookout on how to up his own game and please you better. He's somewhat shy the first time he consciously uses his tongue to play with your nipples, golden eyes glued to your face to see your reaction and you let him know that you enjoy it, encouraging him to keep going. Eventually he gathers the courage to ask you himself if he can pleasure you with his tongue as he wants to provide you with pleasure all by himself even if his preferences are in vaginal sex because of the feeling of intimacy and closeness he always receives during it.
⚕️​The only time where you have Snake ever seen like a different person is when his heat drops by. His normally lower libido increases suddenly, he is in a perpetual state of arousal and acts more aggressive as his body longs for your warmth. His pupils turn into slits as he stares at you like a predator, even startling you the first time it happens. He assures you with a shaky voice that you do not owe him anything yet you express your wish to help him, curious how much will change in the sacred privacy of the bedroom. Snake is more dominant and confident as a more feral part takes over even if he still tries to be more careful. Fangs sink into your skin just enough to scratch the skin, his tongue much more assertive and exploring as he smears his saliva all over your body. Even his friends get involved a few times, wrapping themselves around your wrists that Snake pins above your head, hissing and communicating with his snakes whilst you are left in the dark. During this time he feels the excessive need to paint your insides white with his sticky release, the instinct to breed you hard to resist as his brain is addled with a heat that normally has him in a chokehold for a couple of weeks.
Illumi Zoldyck
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🤎​Illumi is detached from everything around him with his only focus so far having been obsessively lying in the Zoldyck family and fulfilling his duty to maintain their reputation. Sex has never been something he thought of as personal enjoyment and much less as an intimate bonding experience with a partner. It's just been something he has always viewed as necessary to produce heirs and serve his role as a member of the Zoldycks. Things change though when dark feelings of obsessive love blossom in his heart all because of your existence though and initially he himself doesn't quite grasp what is going on with his body. He's had some hard-ons in his life before yet he has never or at least rarely bothered to take care of the problem. Now things take a different turn though. Illumi is an excessive stalker before he abducts you, he gets to see you in all of your glory and even witnesses moments where you masturbate to relieve yourself. He doesn't think much of it as you are his property so it is only right for him to see you like this but what he doesn't account for is the persistent stiffness as dark orbs watch your every movement, his cock pulsing and his tip leaking pre-cum as it is begging for release.
🤎​For the first time in his life is he actually unable to ignore his own libido, your existence throwing him off-balance. Instead of seeking out to control himself Illumi decides to indulge himself. His behavior, though highly disturbing and creepy, is something he thinks of as perfectly normal as you are going to be his spouse in the near future and for that will end up serving him and pleasing him as your husband. Until that day comes though, he resorts to different methods in the meantime. His hand always strokes his pale and stiff length when he is stalking you, especially when he watches you undress for the night or catches you masturbating yourself. He even breaks into your house a few times, your scent almost immediately causing him to stiffen. Items of yours gradually start to disappear. Perfume, shampoo, clothes and lingerie all just vanish without ever appearing again. Perhaps it is better to remain oblivious to the reason why they disappear in the first place though as you'd surely burn it all if you were to get it back, covered in dried spunk and saliva. Whatever scent reminds Illumi of your hair, your skin and your body always gives him a hard-on, no matter the situation.
🤎​As soon as the abduction has happened, things get extremely uncomfortable for you as Illumi possesses not even a slice of shame. He admits openly to you that he has been watching and stalking you and even returns the things to you that he has stolen as he has kept them with him only to tilt his head confused when he notices the disgusted horror on your face. He's a perverted creep yet doesn't understand what your problem is. He has seen you naked before so why can't he watch you when you undress, take a shower or even masturbate? Black eyes always watch you no matter where you are in the mansion, not allowing you even one moment of peace. You never know where he is though, only know that Illumi is lurking somewhere. Now that you are where you belong though, he seems to be permanently aroused as your mere presence is bewitching. Cold and white hands suddenly grab you from behind, his nose buried in your hair as he takes a deep whiff of your scent as he presses you closer to his body, his throbbing cock pressed against your lower back. You have no saying in this all as Illumi's patience will quickly wear thin. His body is acting like this because of you so it is your job to take care of it.
🤎​Consens is not something he deems as necessary and that is rather obvious in his distinctive Somnophilia. There has always been something about the way you so innocently slept all whilst he jerks off right next to you whilst touching and groping you. He has done it even before he abducted you but he takes it to the extreme as soon as you live with him and are married to him. It is not uncommon for you to wake up to him already balls deep inside of you or to him eating you out with his tongue, whether in the middle of the night or in the early morning. He is insatiable now that he finally has his hands on you and his libido needs weeks to calm somewhat down. He mounts you multiple times a day no matter where the both of you currently are. He's taken you from behind in the kitchen, in the garden or even in the corridor even as butlers passed by who professionally ignored the sight of his length shoved in one of your holes as his Nen always picked up dangerously when he sensed one of them glancing at the both of you for longer than one second. You're never let off the hook until Illumi is satisfied and removes himself from you before carrying you elsewhere.
🤎​Whenever Illumi discovers something that fawns the heat of pleasure he is very direct in informing you about it. The first time you tugged at his hair during sex he instantly grabbed your hand and told you to keep on doing it, the sensation of having the roots of his hair being pulled at pleasurable. The same counts for scratches you accidentally give him though hailing from a family famous for producing ruthless assassins normally he doesn't allow people to casually wound him. He doesn't even bother hiding scratch marks when he walks around the mansion but servants and family members alike never talk about it, the only exception is probably Kikyo who sometimes tries prodding around to find out about your sex life yet Illumi silences her rather quickly. Then again, he has no qualms to talk about such stuff when you are around even if other people are within earshot. It is embarrassing, uncomfortable and disturbing all at the same time when he trails behind you like a second shadow and questions you about why exactly you didn't want him to fuck you raw this morning all whilst members of his own family could be around.
🤎​When he gets a boner throughout the day, he seeks you out and tells you to help him with his problem. Whether you'll get away with only giving him a handjob or fucked raw against whatever surface is currently surrounding you remains a surprise. Illumi gains a certain fixation on your hands though, black eyes watching closely when your fingers trail over his body and brush the head of his stiff dick with fascination. He always wants you to use your hands to touch him somehow, whether by stroking his cock, pulling at his hair or scratching at his back. Kikyo has been pestering you about children within only weeks after you arrived and it doesn't take long for Illumi to bring the topic up to you either. What he has so far only ever seen as duty now has become a much more primal desire as he expresses his longing to claim your body even from the inside by reshaping it with his child as pregnancy is a fate unavoidable to you if you are fertile and capable of carrying. Things don't calm down even if you are pregnant though as your swollen stomach and growing breast only seem to unlock a new attraction within Illumi as he can't seem to get enough of you and your changing body.
Kozume Kenma
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🐱​Without having made prior encounters with the obsessive part of Kenma's feelings, it is likely to only see him as an introverted and somewhat socially awkward individual who prefers his time clinging to your side. All of that is true of course but it is only a part of the bigger picture that makes up Kenma. I wouldn't really see him as someone who is overly sexual as I can see him as someone who can cuddle with his darling completely naked without letting it escalate to anything sexual in favor of basking in the intimacy and comfort of it all. Whenever Kenma does get in a sexual mood though you'd be probably shocked to discover that he is more kinky than what you may have expected him to be for the entirety of your relationship so far. Has he researched on kinks on the internet before out of boredeom? Yes. Has this given him some ideas of what he would like to try out with you as soon as the both of you are ready? Also yes. Whilst sex isn't something he views as a necessity for a loving and good relationship, he does enjoy it if you are the one approaching him and vocalising to him your desires.
🐱​When it comes to his preferences of being dominant or submissive Kenma is a switch who is wiling to lean more into one than the other aspect if you should have your own preferences for one side. Whatever role he assumes though, there will be something involved most of the time. Bondage is something on the frontline of things as it is one of the earliest things he discovered on the internet and the one that he still enjoys as one of the most. He's browsed through online shops to purchase quite a few ropes. Some of them are made out of soft and silky material that won't damage the skin on the wrists, others are rough and more likely to rub the skin raw. He'll use the ones you are most comfortable with whilst he switches back and forth between the both of them depending on whether he is in a slightly more masochistic mood or not. Through his interest in bondage he gets into shibari and starts practicing the art of it so that he can hopefully use it the next time you are down for a good time. You sometimes even catch him in the middle of practicing and your jaw got slack the first couple of times when he asked you unashamed if you'd allow him to practice on you or if you'd like to practice on him.
🐱​Sensory depravation is another thing that has caught his eyes on his journey through kinks and another hobby on his on which he has blown quite a bit of money to collect desired items. He has his own cabinet where he stores all the stuff he usually only needs during sex. He's got a couple of blindfolds and earmuffs and together with the ropes restricting movement, Kenma finds a certain thrill in being left with only a few senses whilst having the ones best suited to identify stuff around one cut off. He himself finds enjoyment when light and sounds are taken away from him, leaving him much more aware of the senses he still has left. Every subtle shift of the mattress is something he notices with much more care than he would have before and every ghost-like touch somehow feels more intense when he doesn't know when it is coming as he can only hear his own heartbeat echoing through his body. There is just as much delight when you agree to let him use those tools on you, golden eyes observing the way you wriggle and squirm around whenever he touches you as you never know what's going to happen next yet trust him to hand so much control of you over to him.
🐱​He isn't the biggest fan of vaginal sex or anal sex which sometimes is simply because he doesn't get hard enough. He does feel sorry for it at times but his libido is rather low yet he still wants to be able to please you when your body gets needy. So he starts practicing with his tongue and his fingers to please you as much as he can all whilst using your reactions as a guide to learn where to dig his tongue or how to curl his fingers to get the needed reaction out of you. It's also why he has quite a few dildos and vibrators with which he was quite fascinated the first few times as he'd never seen them in person before. He goes through the effort to use all of them on you to determine which ones feel the best for you and which ones bring you the most stimulation and pleasure as he will use those from that day on more commonly. When he takes on the submissive part which happens mainly when he has an errection he may also ask of you to wear a specific set of lingerie and stockings for him as he gives you permission to even degrade him a bit. You always see it through to never be too harsh with him though and make sure to mix in some condescending praises all whilst he is panting and squirming.
🐱​On some occasions Kenma is too lazy to bother with ropes and other toys though, especially when he finds himself waking up early in the morning whilst being already half-hard for whatever reasons. Then he'll either try to sleep it off or will turn to you for help if it doesn't get better or maybe even gets worse. In such situations the sex is much more lazy and relaxed as you crawl over him and tug his pants down as he leaves the decision to you what you'll do with his erection from that point on. Whether you give him a handjob, a mouthjob or decide to impale yourself on his stiff length and ride him is solely up to you. Both of you converse in such moments in a more normal fashion, unless you suck him off, as no kinky aspects are involved and both of you just share sweet comments and compliments about each other as you set the tempo. He'll look at you with a lazy and small grin as he watches you, golden eyes half-lidded with occasional pants and grunts tumbling from his lips as you slowly get him closer to his release. Both of you usually get back to cuddling before dozing off again after he's ejaculated.
🐱​Eventually he brings up the idea of taking pictures, recording audios or even videos of your sex life and it isn't something you are instantly comfortable with. He promises you to be careful though and to never let those files be leaked to anyone else. He starts with only pictures to ease your still somewhat hesitant mind about it all. It comes very surprisingly when he suddenly pulls your earmuffs off and you suddenly hear the snap sounds of his phone taking pictures of you in your current position. There is always some humiliation that comes with it as you try to imagine what you must look like on those pictures but he allows you just as much to take pictures of him when he is in that position and not you. He creates a specific file where he stores all of those records, can view and watch them without getting aroused most of the time unless he is in a mood. There have been no malicious intentions behind recording your sex life as Kenma deems your relationship to be as very stable yet just in case something unexpected should go down he knows that he has something to blackmail you with.
Aomine Daiki
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💙​Upon first impression no one would have ever expected for someone like Aomine to be so infatuated with his darling. Sure, he is scaring away anyone who triggers his possessive instincts but he is like a tame panther when he is around you. Now, it is no secret that Aomine has a habit of collecting magazines featuring girls who are on the busty side but he starts getting rid of them the moment he realises that he is making you feel insecure, especially if you are someone with a smaller chest, even tearing them apart in front of you to bring his point across. He's already on a rather touchy side at an early point in the relationship and prefers always having at least one hand somewhere on your body to keep you close and feel you. After you have discovered his magazines though you become suddenly very conscious of the way his eyes always linger on your chest, especially if you wear something that pronounces the curves and shape of your breast. Sometimes he is staring almost too much until you point it out to him. He is definitely a bit of a pervert and he doesn't even try to make a secret out of it. Something wrong with enjoying the sight of what is his?
💙​Still he wouldn't coax you into something that you wouldn't want yourself which is why Aomine spends some of his free time masturbating whilst thinking about you. It isn't anything he feels ashamed about, after all how could he not get riled up when you are that sexy and cute? Often he finds himself gazing at a cute picture that he took of you one time on his phone whilst doing so, preferably one where more of your cleavage is exposed or he grabs something that smells like you. He does force you to wear some of his shirts and jackets so he usually always has something that still retains traces of your smell which is used to stimulate him only further. His endurance is already very obvious whenever he jerks off as he can spend hours ejaculating and emptying his balls and still have the energy and spunk for more. At times Daiki can't hide his desire for you and he has probably left you breathless countless times when a hungry kiss turned into a make out session where he pushed you against a wall or forced you on his lap and spent the next minutes letting his hands roam over your body and massaged your breast through your bra all whilst you could feel and see the dent in his pants.
💙​From the very first moment you found out about his magazines you have always been aware that Aomine has a thing for breasts and that has been obvious for you ever since. The man loves your bosom and it's the one thing he loves touching and squeezing on your body the most, no matter how big or small they may be. Nipple and breast worship is definitely going to be a common experience for you once you finally let him explore your body. There is always something that will play and pleasure your nipples. Whether it's his rough fingers rubbing, pinching and rolling the nubs around or by using his mouth as his hot breath fawns your sensitive nipples whilst he licks, nibbles and even sucks on your chest. Foreplay exists sometimes entirely out of him pleasuring your breast and he has gotten so intense with it at times that you have actually had an orgasm solely because he was playing around with your nipples. When he finds out that during your menstruation your chest tends to be more sensitive and tender he totally uses that chance if you let him. After all the pleasure may be able to help you with the cramps you experience during your period so it's a win-win situation.
💙​A good set of lingerie is always something Aomine knows to appreciate and it isn't uncommon that he sometimes buys you one in his favorite colour in hopes that you'll wear it the next time. It isn't the only thing that sets him in a good mood though. Sometimes it just happens accidentally that a situation, especially physical ones, cause his body to produce adrenaline which causes him arousal and stiffens his cock. Especially basketball has always been a sport that has managed to make his heart race with thrill when he faced an opponent that provided him with a good game. The adrenaline doesn't wear down even after the game and stays with him, his hardened cock persistent to not go down which is why he always grabs you after a good game and starts kissing you deeply. You can feel how much his heart is still racing as soon as you put your hands on his chest and now what is going on the moment you notice the bulge in his pants. Sometimes he doesn't even have the patience to wait until the both of you are home as he simply searches for the nextbest secluded area and takes you then and there with his body shielding you just in case someone still finds the both of you.
💙​He is a beast as much in the sheets as he is on the court and whilst he does attempt to restrain himself better, at one point you always end up getting railed into the sheets as his excitement gets the better of him. As someone who stands at 6' 3 feet chances are that you are a good bit smaller than he is and if that should be the case, he is going to develop a major size kink. You're far too precious and cute whenever you are pressed beneath him with his own build dwarfing yours as he gently bullies his erect and thick cock inside of you all whilst trying to soothe you as good as he can if you should experience any discomfort in the process. He loves watching your smaller body bouncing up and down with every thrust of his, your breasts jiggling and your belly bulging when he buries himself fully inside of you as your insides literally get shaped to fit him inside of you. Conscious that he tends to go a bit feral during sex, you two actually establish a safeword that you can use if he gets too rough and if he's too deep immersed in everything Aomine allows you to slap him to snap him out of it.
💙​Normally the one who keeps the role of the dominating one sometimes Aomine does prefer you to be on top and ride him. Mostly when it's still early in the morning and he knows that he has the whole day for himself which only motivates him to stay in bed for a little longer with you. One of his hands is still on your hips though and lifts you lazily up and down whilst the other one finds its way to your bouncing boobs, squeezing and playing around with the sensitive flesh. Even when he is technically still half-asleep he can't help the dirty talk that spills from his lips as your warm walls flutter around his cock whenever he brushes against the sensitive bundles of nerves only he has ever touched. He keeps you seated on top of him even after both of you have reached your climax, just enjoying the sensation of you cockwarming him for a few minutes before he pulls out when it gets too uncomfortable for you. Most of the time he just goes back to sleep right after whilst keeping an iron-grip on you. Both of you have the whole day after all so let him relax with you for a little while.
Murasakibara Atsushi
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🍭​For all of the clinginess Murasakibara expresses when in the company of his darling his intentions never revolve much around any sexual desires he is feeling at the moment. He just genuinely enjoys the physical affection he can get from you. As someone who stands at an astonishing height of 208 cm (6' 10") perhaps it is a natural instinct of his to protect you because you will definitely be smaller than him which in return only increases his desire to just wrap you in his arms and hide you from the world. Who knows, if you are on a small side he may just be able to do that. The first time he actually gets an erection is ironically enough yet in hindsight not surprising when he watches you intently licking a lollipop that he has given you before. Initially he just watches out of boredom because he doesn't have anything else to do but something about the way your tongue swipes over the sweet entrances him, the movement of your tongue fascinating and erotic in his eyes. Before he knows what he is doing, he suddenly asks you what flavor the lolli is but just as you are about to answer that question, his mouth is already pressed against yours whilst his tongue is exploring your own to taste the answer himself.
🍭​He is kind of confused for a while after that incident because he has never been one who felt like indulging in sexual things yet it always seems to be from that day on that the combination of food and you seems to stir his cock awake in his pants. The way you lick your chopsticks whilst eating something or when sauce or ice cream drips down your chin and your tongue flips out to catch the droplets before they drop on your clothes. Somehow Atsushi just can't seem to tear his gaze away from you in such moments and you do notice that and sometimes just can't help but tease him a bit by being more sensual with every little gesture of yours all whilst he slowly leans closer, entranced by it until he catches you off-guard as his own long tongue suddenly appears and licks the food away from your face, his breath noticably heavier and shakier as he does so. Your surprise about the fact that the combination of his most favorite thing in the world, you, and another one of his favorite things in the world, food, is rather limited as you would have probably found it weirder if he wouldn't have found it arousing.
🍭​That is why food play is something that is almost immediately tried out the moment the both of you find yourselves being more intimate. As his height may be something that intimidates and worries you, especially since he is massive down there, foreplay, handjobs and oral sex is something that is a far more common practice between the both of you than vaginal sex or anal sex. Murasakibara never finds himself complaining much though as he actually prefers this much more as it is literally much more tasty for him that way. He buys tons of sweets and cream the moment you actually explain to him the topic of food play and instantly wants to try out almost every flavor possible. He loves placing candy all over your skin or decorating your body with whipped cream or something else, tracing his tongue all over you, nibbling, biting and sucking whilst savoring the sweet flavor. Your pussy isn't save from being coated in something sugary either but do not worry, his tongue cleans up everything just wonderfully whilst the flavor gets mixed with your own juices as the long muscles slides in and out of you, not letting a single drop get to waste.
🍭​He loves combining the flavor of your dripping arousal with ice cream, whipped cream or other sweet things as every combination results in a new favorite flavor for him which is why eating you out becomes quickly a new favorite thing for him. The taste of sugar and your juices is in fact so good that by the end of it he is painfully hard in his own pants, the tip of his cock red and leaking pre-cum. You use your hands and your tongue to coax his own orgasm out of him because he is actually worried that he may hurt you if he would put his entire length inside your mouth. If you can consume the same sweet and sugary creams he gladly uses to paint your body in he would encourage you to rub it onto his cock as well before licking it all off with your tongue. He always cums on you, staining your chest and your chin with his release and his eyes are immediately drawn to you and the way the sticky and translucent load drips down your chin and chest. Seeing you all messy and stained in his release is a sight he rather likes watching, especially if you decide to be a minx enough to use that darn tongue of yours to taste some of his spunk.
🍭​Murasakibara has always been someone who has shared all of his food with you and who has fed you everything he consumed as long as he knew that you could digest it without any risks. It is for that likely that his excessive feeding has led you to gain a few pounds but he'd find that only more adorable. If you are on a chubbier side he probably wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself and would constantly want to touch you and squeeze you, loving how soft you are. He even feeds you during sex if his mouth isn't busily ravishing your moist pussy and whatever else he has decided to try out on that day, popping a sugar cube or a fruit inside his mouth before kissing you and pushing it with his tongue inside your own before pulling back and watching you chewing and swallowing it before repeating the process until you are whining that you can't eat anymore. He always makes a mess and after both of you are done, you're always covered in saliva, body fluids as well as sugary creams but Murasakibara enjoys the sight and the smell of the aftermath and prefers to enjoy it for a while longer before the both of you have to clean up.
🍭​The few times where you do insist on taking his cock inside of you Atsushi preps you carefully so that you are loose enough to not hurt yourself whilst taking him. Since his height poses a problem, the smaller you are all the more, you are always on top of him as he could literally hurt you if he would move wrongly inside of you or go too hard or too fast which is why he lets you set the tempo. Large hands hold your waist as he lays down or sits whilst lowering you slowly down his erect length, violet eyes holding a hint of nervousness behind his normally passive expression as he watches for any sounds or signs of discomfort and pain from you. Once he has lowered you completely on his length, his hands on your waist prevent you from moving for a while as he wants to give you the time to properly adjust to the feeling of his cock inside of you before you tell him that you're fine and he loosens his hold as you start moving. If he is in a seating position, he just wraps you up in his arms and keeps you to himself whilst you ride him. Considering his insane strength he could probably easily lift you up and fuck you whilst standing.
Akashi Seijuro
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🏆​Akashi is always a double-edged sword to have as the person obsessed with you and it all boils down to his own self-control. Akashi has without a doubt the best hold of his own obsession but it is this very fact that can make him so very terrifying as this merely means that he is always in control of his own temper as well as everything going on around him. A master manipulator who knows what to do to achieve his goals of keeping you by his side yet also firm to keep his chivalry and have some rules set for him when it comes to you. This can be more of a curse than it is to be a blessing yet it is this fact that keeps him from touching you sexually unless he notices that he has your consens. He may initiate it to test the water but the moment he realises that your body goes tense or that you look uncomfortable he pulls away and apologises. He's always gauging your reaction whenever he even subtly hints at the topic all to observe and figure out your true feelings about it which will determine whether he'll wait for a bit longer or if it would be safe for him to proceed further.
🏆​As a hard perfectionist Seijuro has weirdly high expectations for everything involving the relationship. Everything has to fit in, everything has to work seamlessly and if it doesn't he takes measurements to see through that it does. The same logic applies to sex life and especially the first time. He has ensured you that your pleasure is something very important to him yet at the same time Seijuro intends to enjoy you just like the work of art that you are in his eyes. You're going to get dolled up so that you are a treat for his eyes that he intends to savor slowly and sensually. He plans the first love making almost meticulously and makes a fuss until absolutely everything is perfect in his eyes. There is no need to rush the process as he actually prefers to set the mood and stretch everything out just enough until the both of you are on edge and the anticipation is thick in the air. Everything is done in a slower and borderline torturous pace for himself as well as you as he slowly helps you to strip out of your clothes and whilst the movement of his hands are calculated and controlled, the burning look of desire and painful dent in his pants is telling another story.
🏆​Clothes are such an important thing to him. Akashi is not only rich but very active when it comes to the clothes you wear as a good portion of them was gifted to you by him. He wants you to look pretty and buys what he thinks would look simply gorgeous on you. Lingerie is no exception to that topic either and based on the clothes he suggests you to wear on certain dates you are actually able to guess how the evening will most likely end. Skimpy outfits aren't part of that collection though as Seijuro seems to view the process of stripping you of all of your clothes just like unwrapping a highly anticipated present. He craves the suspense, partially even views it as a challenge to him to hone and test his own self-control to see how long he can draw the sexual tension out until either you or he snaps. Art like you deserves nothing but praise in his eyes and as your lover he views it explicitly as his duty to see it through that nothing will hamper with your own self-esteem, especially not the words of others. Sharp and viligant to notice insecurities your soul may harbor in regards to your appearance, he'll be quick to correct your thoughts the next time both of you are naked.
🏆Whilst Akashi is absolutely not limited to only indulging in you in the walls of the bedroom, he is very picky with the locations he chooses as all of them will have to be prepared beforehand by him so that the mood is set. He invites you on especially tiring days for you into the bathroom where he has filled the bathtub with hot water for you, rose pedals swimming on the surface as the pleasant smell of oil he has added to the water fills the room as he helps you to undress and ushers you inside. He doesn't pounce on you like a wild animal though as he first and foremost sees it through that you are relaxed and let loose from all the stress you experienced during the day. Other times he preps the balcony in the huge garden, adding your favorite flowers and adjusting other details more to your personal liking before he leads you during the night to the secluded place. This perfectionist attitude of his doesn't allow for any imperfections or dirtiness in places where he plans to claim you for himself to the point where he would feel sorry for you if the both of you were ever forced to become intimate in a place that doesn't live up to his expectations.​
🏆​Visual representation is a key factor for Akashi. Everything he uses is to enhance your natural beauty even more. The clothes and the lingerie is one such example but it doesn't take long for him until he disovers the art of Japanese bondage. He's almost immediately taken by the idea and starts practicing his skills instantly. He's very picky with the material, the colour and the design he chooses for the ropes though. They're meant to make you look even more ravishing after all and should be firm enough to not allow you to move yet also gentle enough on the skin so that you don't accidentally rub your skin raw. The metaphor of unwrapping you like a gift becomes quite literal as soon as he has learned enough techniques to tie you up beautifully, always pulling away and hovering over your form for a few moments to admire and savor the breathtaking sight underneath him. He enjoys the aspect of having control, though it is more subtle if both of his eyes are of the same colour but shibari as well as his eventual suggestion of blindfolding you are signs he exhibits still when he enjoys you fully for himself. The thought of you trusting him despite being immobilised and blinded thrills and excites him deep down.
🏆​Foreplay is always a build-up yet something Seijuro never skips as he deems it as yet another important step to properly set the mood as well as to prepare you to take him in the near future. Through practice, observation and learning he eventually figures out how to use his fingers and his tongue to pleasure you and find all of the right spots to stroke and touch to have you squirm underneath him yet at the same time he also learns to read the signs of your body that tell him that you are close only to then suddenly stop and deny you your incoming orgasm. He keeps you on the brink purposely by denying you your climax, heightens your arousal and your desire to have you completely unwind around his cock much more intensely when he eventually gives you what he denied you earlier. Aftercare is something he has never skipped and doesn't plan to ever do so. He keeps you hydrated and after a few minutes of resting and basking in the afterglow of the pleasure he normally takes a quick shower with you before going back to rest. He's even learnt how to properly give someone a massage and will gladly give you one if you request it of him.
Inumaki Toge
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🗣️​Inumaki is someone who does things in a relaxed and patient manner in a relationship as long as there is nothing that poses a threat to your life. The topic of physical intimacy is very much put under the same label as it is nothing he thinks of as desperately needed in a good relationship and more of an addition that the both of you can indulge in from time to time. He’d wait for you to initiate everything as he truly doesn’t care much about when it happens as long as he knows that you are comfortable with the thought and don’t feel forced to do it because the relationship has been going on for a while now. If he’d notice that you’re secretly desiring sexual intimacy but are too insecure or shy to speak about it though, Inumaki will step up and become more active by initiating it himself. As both of you can’t communicate verbally due to his Cursed Technique he has gotten very good in reading your body language if you do not convey something with your words which is why he notices the lingering gazes you give him and the way your body reacts when it is aroused.
🗣️In public Toge usually covers up the lower half of his face due to the tattoos there to help him using his power but he’s very comfortable to expose it completely around you as the both of you have a rather strong bond even despite his obsession as he flies much more under the radar in comparison to some of his friends. Inumaki is a major giver as I can’t see him having an overly high sex drive which is why he is able to put much more focus on your own pleasure instead. As he normally can’t use his lips to express his love for you verbally unless he uses his own language, he decides to use it much more actively when he pleases you. He showers your neck, your breasts, your stomach and the inside of your thighs with teasing kisses that he trails slowly down your body before he latches onto your sensitive nub between your legs and starts sucking and biting gently to coax an orgasm out of you. His tongue is just as frequently used as his lips are, swirling around your sensitive nipples, smearing thin trails of saliva all over your body, flicking teasingly over your clitoris before pushing the wet and warm muscle inside of you to eat you out.
🗣️As tempting as you may think the idea is, Inumaki refuses to even entertain the idea of using his voice to demand anything from you. By doing so he would force you to do something you do not have any control over and even if you would give him permission beforehand, he’d feel much too uncomfortable to continue any activity with you. Period sex is surprisingly enough a thing though that is mainly because he offers it to you when he realises that you are feeling horny even whilst you have your blood flow. You may be scared that he will be disgusted but Inumaki assures you that as a sorcerer he has seen and experienced more disgusting things in his life than a natural function your body goes through monthly. He’s heard that an orgasm during menstruation can even help against cramps and if you’re prone to strong cramps during your period he’d be all the more down for it. Admittedly, he does use his fingers during your menstruation to help you with your orgasm or he uses a sex toy if you have one in your possession and afterwards just caters to your needs.
🗣️When he himself experiences an erection he is quite neutral on whether or not you want him to be the one on top or want him to play more of a submissive role. Sex with him is always accompanied by a relaxed and attentive mood. It’s slow, considerate and nothing overly kinky unless you specifically want to try something that he would deem as safe and that wouldn’t make him uncomfortable or worried for your safety. He’s gotten so used to fingering you or using his tongue on you though that it feels weird to not tickle at least one orgasm out of you before he pushes himself inside of you so he always insists on going down on you at least once or ask you to sit on his face to let him do what he is by now quite good at before both of you proceed. It just doesn’t feel right until he feels your body trembling and squirming around, heard your pants and sounds of ecstasy and tastes your orgasm on his tongue. Only after he has fulfilled that task and knows that he has given you your climax by using his fingers or tongue does he feel finally eager and excited to move on to the next part.
🗣️If you decide that you don’t want to lie down and want to ride him, he prefers to still be seated so that he has better access to your body, wanting to litter it with adoring kisses and gentle touches of his. Most important for him though is that he always has a good view of your face and can keep eye contact with you. Inumaki always loves looking into your beautiful eyes and it’s the same even in such moments of extremely physical intimacy as it is important for him to always see that you are enjoying yourself, his pleaser behavior truly shining through. Whilst he doesn't fake his reactions to please you Toge does ensure that he doesn't hide any grunts or groans that linger on his lips when he feels your hot walls tightening around his shaft as he can't express the pleasure he receives in normal words. The prominent blush that tends to quickly spread on his entire face as soon as both of you start moving is a wordless indicator though that the entire experience is quite overwhelming for him and his body as well as slightly exhausting.
🗣️Normally he does feel safer if he is wearing protection because even if you do take contraception he just wants to be entirely sure just in case something does go wrong. If you request of him to not use a condom the next time he would still agree but only as long as he knows that your protection still works. ​He usually pulls out before his orgasm occurs though, his milky cum splashing all over your stomach instead before he flops down and just relaxes. He doesn't last longer than one or two rounds if he has vaginal sex with him as his own libido is satisfied after those few rounds which leaves him with only exhaustion. Even in that state of exhaustion he continues doting on you though, fully committed to use his tongue and his fingers if you should still have the energy and the arousal to go on. Otherwise he spends a couple of minutes just cuddling with you in bed, his hands soothingly trailing up and down your body before he wordlessly suggests for the both of you to take a quick shower.
Kamo Choso
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🩸​Choso pretty much thinks of himself as a provider and a protector for the few people he cares about. Those few people are mainly only his younger brothers, at one point only Yuji as he is the only one still alive, and the other person is you. Whilst the love Choso feels for you is obviously different from what he feels for Yuji his desire to protect and provide are at this point integrated into his personality. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he wouldn't be able to care for you and keep you safe from all harm yet those new feelings also mean that he is introduced to things which were prior to meeting you foreign and unfamiliar concepts for him. One of those new concepts is the sexual need of his own body. You have to keep in mind after all that despite being technically quite old he has only been incarnated into a body made out of flesh and blood a few months ago which means that he is not yet familiar with all of the functions that his body has, leaving him admittedly somewhat flustered and dumbfounded when his cock starts pulsing and seems to get a mind of its own as he can feel the blood rushing into it and see how it starts pushing against his clothes, forming a bulge.
🩸​Neither does he turn to Yuji for help nor does he bother to ask anyone else and with not enough knowledge to turn to the internet, Choso is left to figure it out himself. He can eventually draw his own conclusion with what is going on with his body but his own knowledge is limited and his experience is nonexistent yet it is this that seems to stress him out a bit. He wants you only happy and healthy with him yet if he can't provide for you when it comes to sex he can't help but feel like he would potentially fail you and disatisfy you. Somehow he has to figure out how it works though. He starts stalking you more intently, waits until you are in the safety of your own home and start masturbating whilst he watches you and clumsily starts stroking himself at the sight as well. He literally starts masturbating only to learn how his own body and orgasm works yet has troubles getting hard when he isn't watching you so he ends up stealing some clothes from you as your scent quickly causes his cock to stir with interest. Somehow he also stumbles across some magazines but those leave him with more questions than answers and in the worst case with some wrong ideas.
🩸​As soon as Choso actually has you physically with him, whether that is through a more legal situation where Yuji was majorly involved or the good old abduction, his body goes absolutely crazy. Your scent, your presence and even the sight of you keep him into a situation of permanent arousal that won't leave him as his body can't stop the excitement and thrill he constantly feels by simply having you with him which means he is always at least half-hard. He's not touching you though as much as his throbbing cock is urging him to do. He can't stop staring at you and staying close to you though which only makes the situation harder for him as he notices every short peak of more skin when you move and always inhales your scent. Choso is a pervert but he probably doesn't know what that means in the first place and if you would explain it to him he would probably mumble that he's only watching you all the time and has done so even in the past because he desires to protect you even if you are undressing or naked. He doesn't really have any bad intentions but his body is in overdrive as he is severely touch-starved and on top of that extremely infatuated with you.
🩸​His excessively touchy behavior aside, Choso never touches you unless you consent to it because the few times he did lose his control for a short while and sensed the excessive fear from you he instantly felt his heart drop at the knowledge that you were scared because of him before he pulled away, apologising with a shaky tone. When you eventually do allow him to get intimate with you he initially doesn't even know what he is supposed to do, excitement and nervousness flushing through his system as his hands start trembling. Your first time with him is messy and awkward during the start because he has neither the experience nor the courage to ask you for guidance as he wants to please you without relying on any help and the fact that he feels pressured to provide you with pleasure now that you have let him do this for you only makes his brain go a bit haywire even more. Eventually you are slightly fed up with his stubborn behavior and intend to get his attention as you grab a fist full of his hair and yank on his hair only to draw a surprised and somewhat pathetic moan from him which leaves you flustered and him panting with a blooming blush on his cheeks.
🩸​Luckily he drops his stubbornness and accepts advice and help from you after that incident. Both of you make quite a few discoveries as time passes by and the most amusing one you find yourself somewhat abusing is the fact that not only is Choso a helpless simp but also downright masochistic when it comes to you. You can always draw one pathetic moan from him when you grab his hair and pull on it or unexpectantly spank him on his body with enough force to leave a red print on his skin. It's this combination of masochistic attributes and his infatuation that makes it fairly easy to push him into the submissive role yet you also learn that a few praises thrown in here and there are also always needed from him to keep him happy and aroused. Choso himself is never mean to you even if he does feel his cock throb when you are a tad bit mean to him during sex as he is seclusively a worshipper who prefers peppering you in kisses and showering you with compliments. In fact sometimes he is almost too talkative, apparently always having something he needs to praise about you even when his brain is having a short circuit during his orgasm and he just whines and whimpers declarations of love to you.
🩸​He gets upset when he can't touch you and always prefers to be as closely pressed against you as possible. When he is the one on top of you it actually looks initially like he is just cuddling with you whilst both of you are naked. His arms are wrapped around you tightly, his head is nuzzled into your neck and he starts with a slow pace that gets progressively faster the closer he gets, especially if you tease him, pull at his hair or scratch him slightly. His needs to always have you close to him and worship you lead him to not only greatly enjoy having sex with you in tight spaces where both of you literally have to be smushed together due to the lack of space but also to love having sex in front of mirrors which allows him to admire you from all angles. His ability is blood manipulation and ironically enough he has a thing for period sex, especially since he heard that it can relieve the pain of cramps and if you suffer from especially intense ones and nothing else he does seems to help he just blurs out the question if he could try to coax an orgasm out of you in hopes that it'll help. Sometimes he gets emotionally almost overwhelmed with the intimacy and love he feels which leads him to shed some tears.
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cheenapri · 3 months
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Yandere Illumi Analysis
AN: I wrote this on a whim so I didn't really proofread or check for plotholes lmao but enjoy anyway
Illumi didn’t think much of you the first time he saw you, it was as if you weren’t even there. Strangely enough, he’s caught several more sightings of you over the course of two months, each time he still didn’t think much of you. That was until he realized he didn’t really have any business in that area to begin with as his mission had already been completed and he’d already been paid. He seemed to unknowingly home you out from time to time, his slight glances turning into full-on stares as he watched you from the shadows. 
You had piqued his interest. After a few days of watching you, Illumi questioned himself. He was confused as to why he was focusing so much of his attention on someone so insignificant.
He thought that maybe you were a nen user using your powers on him and made plans to quickly dispose of you. Fortunately for you, he failed to do so. For the first time in his life, Illumi had hesitated to kill someone. A singular gold needle lay ready in his hand yet he was unable to bring himself to launch it at your skull. 
Multiple attempts were made, all with you being completely oblivious, before he discovered that you weren’t even a nen user and that he was hesitant on his own unconscious volition.
Illumi had an inner crisis before he would accept his ineffable feelings towards you. He saw something in you he couldn’t describe but knew he liked, and wanted to figure out what it was. 
He spent whatever free time he had just observing you — from afar, of course, he’s a little shy. Sometimes he would invite himself into your house to snoop through your things while you’re gone. If you have a loudmouth pet, he’ll be sure to temporarily subdue it. Killing it would be the more convenient option but it would alarm you to see your beloved pet lying in a pool of blood upon returning home. 
On the night he chooses to bring you to the estate for further inspection, he attempts to lure you using taxis. He may or may not have destroyed your car’s engine to force you to walk to work. When his attempts to lure you fail, he gets fed up with your constant defiance and police calls and opts to physically bring you back himself, there’s only so many times he can deal with the police without causing chaos. 
You look so beautiful when you sleep.
He’s unsure how to go about dealing with you once you’re locked away in the estate, he just throws your unconscious body on the bed and stares at you until you wake up. He keeps staring once you wake up too, only saying something when you start screaming and freaking out. His words aren’t very comforting, though.
He had to teach you manners since you’re being very rude. Once you’re quiet, he’ll proceed to not explain anything to you but rather stand over you and ask if you’re hungry. You say no and he leaves you alone and without food for a couple of days.
He’s a very busy man so expect him to be gone for days or even weeks at a time. This doesn’t mean you’re free to do whatever you want, however, as Illumi has assigned a skilled butler to watch over you while he’s gone. They are his eyes and ears so make sure you don’t do anything foolish less they tattle on you. Though you have a somewhat neutral relationship with your assigned butler, you can’t bring yourself to fully trust or confide in them.
Though you hate it here, you’d prefer your time alone over your captor’s company as Illumi was awful to be around. Whether he was staring at you from across the room or correcting your behavior, it was all awful. All time spent “hanging out” with him consists of him sitting away from you, sometimes sitting closer depending on his mood, and silently staring. Sometimes an attempt at a conversation was made on your end as you wanted to know exactly what was going on and why he’d brought you here. You were asking too many questions about the same thing; it was pissing him off.
He rarely talks about himself if it isn’t assassin-related and you don’t like him enough to ask. He does have a habit of talking about the things he’s learned about you before bringing you to the estate rather unprompted. He has zero self awareness. You got him talking one time and had to figure out through context clues and your own ideas that he had a “romantic” interest in you. 
Illumi is not the talkative type but if he wants to hear your voice, he’ll start conversations. The conversations usually consist of him asking you really pointless questions and encouraging you to explain your answer in great detail no matter how dry it is. 
If you’re good while he’s gone, he may bring you back a gift. If you accept with enthusiasm, feigned or not, he’ll be internally delighted. If you decline the gift or refuse to open it, Illumi will take it as an act of defiance.
May the punishment fit the crime. Illumi will not hesitate to nip any unsavory behaviors right in the bud in the hopes of molding you faster. If you were to act out physically, expect a dislocated or broken limb. Kicking equals a broken leg, and punching equals a broken arm whereas pushing him away, no matter how gently, equals a dislocated wrist or two. Verbal crimes like talking about your past life or swearing at him are punishable by strangulation. Illumi will not tolerate such disrespect. He doesn’t let go after a few seconds either, his grip is tight until you pass out. The more severe it is, the less likely you are to become a repeat offender, right…? You definitely won’t be able to curse at him now or talk at all really. All other acts of defiance are punishable by whatever he sees fit.
He never comforts you after a punishment. It’s your fault anyway, you shouldn’t have tried to hit him or cursed at him. Honestly, what did you expect? He tends to forget the punishment had even occurred during his next visit with you and expects you to do the same.
Though your newer assigned butler has a healing ability, Illumi rarely allows its use. 
Illumi can sometimes be strangely passionate. Even through his sheer brutality and emptiness, there are times when you can sense the slightest sliver of humanity within him. Mainly on days when he’s particularly needy for your attention. 
He sometimes visits at odd hours of the night, waking you so he can talk about his day. He doesn’t know it, but he’s using you as an emotional outlet. You’re expected to listen to every single word that comes out of his mouth and engage with him. You feel a bit intimidated since he’s sitting so close to you on the edge of the bed. 
He doesn’t really touch you unless to punish you so you tend to flinch when he moves too fast. He doesn’t mind this at first.
Despite holding you captive for months now, Illumi still hadn’t figured out what about you was attractive to him. Eventually, he’d accept that he’d never figure it out and you’d always be a mystery. He begins seeing you as his spouse from this point forward.
Though he wanted to take the relationship slowly to ease you into your new life, you didn’t wish to accept your untold role as his spouse, causing everything to sit at a standstill. As more time passes, he becomes impatient for your cooperation. He doesn't directly say it but it’s made VERY clear that he demands your affections. He’s giving you more attention than usual, how else can he make it clearer?
One day while returning home from a mission, he noticed a couple on an outing. They looked so happy together. Illumi didn’t think much of it at the time but as days turned into weeks, his mind began replaying the scene over and over, replacing the couple with you and him. He concludes that you’re probably being spiteful because he isn’t spending enough time with you. If you wanted more attention from him, why didn’t you just ask?
So it’s been decided, he’ll take you with him on a mission so you can watch him kill people. You would be a liability, sure, but you’d see it as a sign that he loves you, right? His dad disagreed with the idea when Illumi brought it up to him, telling him that something like that would be too intense for someone like you. Queue Silva’s and Illumi’s first (?) father and son chat. Illumi was surprisingly receptive to Silva’s ideas and dropped his original plan.
Queue intensive date planning for a few months. Of course, he made sure not to let you hear anything about it as it’ll be a super special surprise that’s going to blow your mind and make you accept your place at his side.
He really showed just how much he knew about you, making sure nothing you wouldn’t enjoy found its way into his intricate plans. 
Of course, it couldn’t be a normal date out in public, what if someone tried to hurt you? He would kill them, yes, but the mood would’ve already been ruined at that point so he thought it best to rent out a few places and completely isolate you.
Now that preparations were complete, all that was left was to pick you up — Illumi was rather eager to get this date started.
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kiame-sama · 6 months
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Twin Eclipses Links.
Note: if you can't find part 3 even with the link, that is because it is marked for mature audiences only and you need to go in your settings and change it to view mature content.
Pt 1:
https://www.tumblr.com/kiame-sama/704808863792267264/twin-eclipses-yandereillumi-x-reader-warnings?source=share
Pt 2:
https://www.tumblr.com/kiame-sama/707584723248201728/hi-d-im-a-new-follower-i-just-finished-reading?source=share
Pt 3:
https://www.tumblr.com/kiame-sama/717058708496138240/twin-eclipses-yandereillumi-x-femreader-pt?source=share
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citrus-writing · 13 days
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How do you think the Phantom Troupe members will react to the reader almost passing out while having sex with them?
// Yandere phantom troupe members react to darling nearly passing out during sex with them // 
I kept the reason darling nearly passed out vague, since the yanderes wouldn't know the reason, and because one isn't specified. ( However, my assumptions when writing these were something related to fear or nervousness, weakness or pain, or a pre-existing medical condition or some sort- so these can be read with those scenarios in mind, but doesn’t have to be. ) 
Warnings: nsfw, dub-con / non-con, sorta somnophilia, some of these are fluffy and sweet but some are a little bit dark 
---------------- 
Yanderes that are worried about you, immediately stopping what they had been doing to comfort you and make sure you’re ok. 
Chrollo, uvogin, illumi
Chrollo- 
Chrollo is so romantic and caring towards you, he always takes great care and precision in caring for you- from undressing you to preparing you for him, he’s diligent and incredibly in tune with your needs and desires. 
He kisses down your body with fervor, mouth hot and tongue insistent at all your weak spots, hands following close behind, trailing down your body as well. You’re perfect- soft and beautiful and all his his his. He’s always enamored with the sounds you make, nearly overwhelmed with the pleasure he always gives you, he always loves the face you make, face all flushed and eyes hazy with pleasure. 
That’s why it catches him so off guard when he notices the way you seem less steady; even while laying down, it’s obvious you’re growing dizzy, disoriented, face becoming slightly paler. Your hands grip at the sheets, knuckles nearly white from the force. 
“My love, are you alright?” he asks, stopping whatever he’d been doing to give his full attention to your face and your words. He can't hide the worry in his voice, nor the worried expression he wears. How could he even think to hide such things when you’re so unsteady in his arms. 
“Do you need me to stop?” he soothes- he won't mind if you do need to stop, or slow down- after all, you’re the light of his life, everything he does is for you. Besides, he’d never turn down the opportunity to dote on you and take care of you. 
Uvogin- 
Uvogin is aware he can be overwhelming- from the overzealous roughness of his touch to the sheer size of him, he knows that sex with you can be overwhelming for you, and, if he’s not careful, even painful. That’s why he’s always so careful with you, doing his best to go slow and take good care of you- you, his darling. Because he adores you, and he needs you to enjoy the things he does to you. He needs to see your mouth fall open in a moan so loud it’s nearly a scream, he needs to hear the way your scream out his name. 
When you start to become overwhelmed, body growing shaky and fingers and thighs trembling, he eases up immediately, slowly coming to a stop. Had he gotten too caught up in the moment? Had he gotten a little rough with you? He’s gotten used to watching for signs of discomfort in you, always a little too aware of the way you struggle to take him, so he notices immediately when you start to feel out of it. 
“Hey, you alright?” he asks you. “Was that too much?” he knows he caught your discomfort before it could get bad, with you already looking like you're doing a little better. You’ve stopped trembling so much, face growing a little less flushed, eyes returning from the edge of teariness. He runs a comforting hand through your hair, down your back, pulling you close to him. “I’ve got you, you’re alright.” 
Illumi- 
Of course illumi notices when you start to act distant, nothing ever gets past those wide eyes, especially not when they’re so focused on you- on your face and your body and those sounds you make that make him so hot he can hardly stand it. The first thing he notices is your sounds, growing less so pleasured and more so desperate in a way that almost sounds like pain, and is definitely discomfort. 
“Darling?” he asks, not yet letting up on the motion of his movements, “is it too much?” it’s hard for him to tell how you’re feeling at any given moment- after all, he’s mastered being able to push through any discomfort, but you haven't, you’re so sweet and gentle compared to him, and he needs to remind himself of that often to avoid pushing you too far. 
You nod weakly, a little embarrassed, and a little nervous to disappoint him. He stops his movements instantly, as if you had stopped him yourself. His eyes watch you as you take a moment you steady yourself, obviously trying to gather the strength and composure to explain yourself. And he’d let you explain, but not right now. 
“Don't speak, let me get you something to drink, and help you get cleaned up.” he knows by now you wont fight him on this, when he made up his mind about something it was made. He hates the thought of you in pain, especially from him. Whatever he did to overwhelm you, he’ll make it right. 
-----
Yanderes that don’t stop, either too caught up in the moment or simply uncaring if you do pass out- after all, they’ll take care of you. 
Feitan, phinks, nobunaga, shalnark 
Feitan- 
You feel too good- wrapped around him like a vice, squeezing so tight. It makes him almost dizzy himself, so when he watches your eyes grow hazy and your body starts to tremble, he thinks very little of it. Maybe even thinks it’s good, afterall, he loves knowing he has an effect on you. 
It takes him a minute to realize how unsteady you are, not dizzy with pleasure necessarily but more so dizzy as you grapple with the edge of consciousness. “Too much?” he asks, voice tight, as he continues to push into you. He watches you nod, shaking hands reaching out to him to steady yourself. 
He lets you tangle your arms around his shoulders, lets you seek out the sensations you need to keep you grounded, but he doesn't stop. He slows down, so slow he’s nearly stopped, but feitan continues to roll his hips into you in a desperate attempt to not let this end. Even just this is more that enough- benign buried to the hilt inside you is perfect, how can he complain when you’re so fucked out that you can hardly stay coherent. 
“So good for me.” he whispers as he forces you to take it. The pace is slow but so so deep, and he watches your face with an intensity that doesn't help you calm down at all, but a part of you really wants to be good for him, so you fight not to struggle against him as you struggle equally hard to stay awake. 
Phinks- 
Phinks always struggles to hold back, especially with you- his beloved darling, but he’d been so sure that he’d been doing a good job at not going too rough, not fucking you as hard and fast as he wanted to- and god, he wants to. 
It catches him off guard when you look up at him with such hazy eyes, lip worried between your teeth, clearly overwhelmed and uncomfortable. Fuck, fuck. “Hey, you’re alright.” he soothes, shifting his weight to free a hand to push your hair away from your face. Looking closer, he can see the telltale signs of being near losing consciousness- the sweat, the paleness, the trembling. He hates that it isn't an immediate turn off- he hates that even with you so uncomfortable he desperately needs to fuck you through the orgasm that he’s sure is going to tear through him. Just a little more. 
“Stay with me, stay with me.” he encourages, looming over you and arranging you into a better position, one where you can relax completely against the sheets. It makes him feel guilty, knowing even now he wont stop, but the way the new position seems to help you eases that guilt a little bit, enough for him to breathe a sigh of relief and continue to rut into you. “fuck, just a little more.” he soothes, watching as you nod nearly incomprehensibly. 
Your perfect, he’s sure he’s close- was even before you started to get hazy from it all, but the way you lay back and take it- so willing, even now- has him fucking into you with a reckless adandon. 
Nobunaga- 
It takes nobunaga a minute to realize how out of it you are- after all, aren't you meant to be hazy, shaky, absolutely desperate? Aren't you meant to be unable to form words, too far gone in the pleasure he gives you? His delusional mind thinks so, and he does love the sight of your flushed cheeks and your desperate gaze. 
“Can't take any more?” he asks you, watching the way your face changes as you struggle to comprehend his words. You shake your head, desperate to convey how lightheaded and uncertain you feel. “What’s that? Use your words.” he encourages, but quickly fucks himself into you harder, deeper, faster, and any words on your lips fail, all you can manage is a choked gasp as you feel any thought youd managed to scrape up disappear back into the void of your mind. 
You look so good he can't help but kiss you- his lips pressed seamlessly to yours, tongue invading your mouth. It can help your overwhelmed state, he’s sure, but it does serve to pull more of those cute little noises from you, swallowed up in the kiss. 
“Got nothing to say? That’s alright, I know what you need.” nobunaga knows your body well by now, he knows how to bring you closer and closer to the edge, he knows how to make you squirm and whimper, and he’s certain that he’ll be able to push you over the edge of consciousness as well. The very thought of being allowed to fuck your unconscious body has him fucking into you with renewed fervor. 
Shalnark- 
Shalnark notices fast the way your breath grows ragged, the way your eyes grow teary. It makes him smile, he’s too much for you, already got you on the edge of consciousness and he’s just getting started.“You’re so cute.” he’s not going to stop, not when you look like THIS, fucked out and desperate and teary eyed. He leans down to press a kiss to your lips, charmed by the way you clumsily reciprocate, likely on instinct, because it’s obvious your mind is somewhere else- or, more likely, your mind isn't anywhere right now. 
Shalnark never has trouble taking more from you than you can handle, and this is no different, in fact, this is even more so the case because you can't seem to beg him to stop. “take it, take it.” he accentuates each word with a particularly deep thrust into you, forcing a desperate cry from your lips each time. You seem a little too far gone to really decide if you need to stop or not, so he’ll decide for you, he doesn't mind. “don't worry baby, you’re alright.” 
Even if it’s too much for a cute little thing like you to handle, shalnark knows he isnt hurting you, and that gives him all the certainty he needs to continue fucking into you like he so desperately wants. And if you lose consciousness, it will only further establish the power he had over you, allowing him to truly do anything he wants with you. It’s perfect, so please, feel free to let go. “you can let go if you want. I’ve got you.”
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