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#a bit overwhelmed w. my love for ffxiv n other stuff rn
noxtivagus
·
2 years
Text
hdfalksjdflkasdfa
#🌙.vents
#a bit overwhelmed w. my love for ffxiv n other stuff rn
#like. playing ffxiv again today brought a lot back
#i rlly. love the game so much. all those stories n memories n really just everything
#n then. thinking of it just. opens my eye to some stuff again
#it really doesn't do any good to deny myself. i try not too but
#one day i hope i can free myself from. this secret
#yearning in any way is. rlly just so weird huh
#emotions r so irrational.
#missing the past missing my childhood hurts so much in these moments
#i know exactly what i want but
#oh for fuck's sake i know exactly why i'm like this n it hurts so much bcs i can't do much about it
#n in moments like this it just.. gets too much at times yk? n i know i write that so much
#n this is. just. a reality of living. but it still hurts. it still hurts so much
#nah what am i saying i'm fine i'm
#i'm. i'm tired of the burden. of the weight. n i'll keep on going but
#i'm afraid one day i'll forget. one day i'll lose what matters to me. whether it be people or memories or
#things about myself. i'm afraid of waking up one day n regretting what i love. i'm afraid of.. this society making me hate myself
#bcs it just gets so lonely at times. n atp i'm just overthinking n then
#no even now i can't convey what i truly mean. i hate it
#n then everything's so fleeting n
#:c sometimes life just gets too much. both everything 'good' n 'bad' just. is overwhelming rn
#n part of me rlly wants to stop rambling like this on social media but i just.. really want to let it out somewhere but
#ugh no this isn't getting anywhere. if i just think like this then nothing wld change.
#oh i'll struggle but i'll always find a way. fuck it i wna rest right now i think it hurts me too when i write too much
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