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#a dude being possessed by his own ghost after they died for a sec and got revived
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probably delete later and also just a general warning for blood and gore and me rambling about my ocs lol
i want to write so bad. i want to write about parker unmasking wraith [genesis] and i want them to be wrestling to try and get the upper hand so they can end this game of cat and mouse once and for all.
i want parker to have gotten a hold of genesis' dirk and sickle, and in a twist of their usual roles, parker stabs wraith. and instead of parker, genesis is the one to react with teeth and nails.
and i want genesis to learn of all 206 bones in the human body, there's an odd bone in your throat called the hyoid. it's not connected to other bones, it's the only bone in the human body that isn't. and i want him to learn that when through all the blood and gore, he feels it knock against his teeth.
i want parker to be the first person he's ever killed without the use of his knives. i want genesis to be so disgusted by it that he flings himself out of the driver's, and forces percy to take control of the body.
and i don't think he takes control back for a long time, to the point where percy would think he's alone in their body if it weren't for the chilled presence in the base of his skull.
and i think it's parker's death that ends up connecting everything back to them.
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jq37 · 5 years
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well. that was it.
**spoilers for prompocalypse  part 2**
Y'all this is it. The end-end. The last recap, at least for Fantasy High.
I honestly could have gotten this up yesterday but I wanted to give myself a hot sec before it was really over. 
But, no way out but through. Let’s get to it. 
We start back up right where we left off with no break in between. Cast still freaking, Brennan still gaping. 
“What the Fuck.” –Brennan 2019
Anyway, Kristen once again appears in corn heaven and she’s very not chill about it. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. On the plus side, she runs into Doreen in heaven who is young and hot again (which I’m sure Fig would appreciate knowing) and also apologizes for her traumatizing speech to Adaine during her death.
Helio playing beer pong. I wonder if that was always a facet of his personality or if Brennan just decided to yes-and all of Ally’s suggestions of him being a frat bro.
The angels being like, “Please be nice to God. He’s our dad,” was kinda adorable. 
“Why are you dressed like a weird stripper?”/“It’s too hot in here. He’s the sun!”
So while the gang has been living out Breakfast Club + Stranger Things, Aguefort has been Weekend and Bernie’s-ing Heaven apparently. I want to say wild, but tbh that’s pretty on brand for him. The wild part is that he was able to knock out GOD. Like, how even?
Aguefort tells Kristen that Sol is one god of many and she says, “Cool, I always thought that,” as if this is new information but, living in a D&D world, shouldn’t she definitively know that already? Like, the gods in fantasy worlds are pretty blatant about letting their presence be known and there are clerics/paladins who aren’t Heleoic but still have powers. 
OK I have a bone to pick with Ms. Kristen Applebees. You get a chance to talk to the primordial source of all divine power and magic and you (1) ask who you’re allowed to bone and (2) create a TERRIBLE god. Just truly TRASH. She created a reaction gif god. It’s not even a physical representation of the concept. Like, I thought she meant something like Yass from Wreck it Ralph 2 but no. Just a literal Yes! Like, you can trash talk Helio when you come up with something better, girl. Also, wild that you can just…walk into a room and do that. Like you have to knock out Sol first but still. Wild.
“You’ve created a new deity and already you’re fed up with it. I would say that’s par for the course.”
I low key thought Kristen was going to get the option to deify herself. I think because I had just rewatched The Gamers: Dorkness Rising and that figures in to the plot. But, thinking about it, she wouldn’t have gone for that I don’t think.
Aguefort flipping out at Kristen saying that friendship is the greatest magic of all, and rightfully so. That’s BS.
Since when does Kristen have dog tags?
Anyway, as we all suspected, the chronomancy line from episode 1 wasn’t a random line of dialogue, it was a chekhov’s gun. 
I mentioned this in an earlier post. Brennan didn’t seem too concerned that the party was wiping and I think this is why. I think he had two paths for this fight to take. In one, Riz successfully rolled for police and like 6 helpful NPCs plus his mom show up. That’s enough to beat the dragon without dying and Aguefort shows up having Die Hard-ed his way out of heaven. In the other, Kristen dies, goes to heaven, and basically that same series of events happens. Chronomancy saves the day. I think he was shocked because the roll dovetailed so perfectly with the story beat. 
“Is Arthur Aguefort black? Hell yes. My brotha.” Gonna be honest, I basically had that same reaction when they showed his character portrait in ep 1.
Kristen and Arthur jump back into the battle and Arthur gets possessed by Mr. Gibbons. I guess he’s just been hanging around as a ghost this whole time? Because this seems to lend credence to the theory that that’s who possessed Fig in the arcade but didn’t we see him go to the afterlife (which, I have a question about that too later). But I feel like that must have been Brennan’s way of sidelining him for the fight so they didn’t have like a level 20 wizard making it too easy.
“Oh, and Jawbone!” Murph loses it. 
Jawbone stuck in Goldenhoard’s mouth like that meme of the dog smiling, stuck in a fence.
Gorthalax is like, “I don’t feel great sleeping next to this dude.” Fig meanwhile is all, “I wanna sleep between his legs.” She says this at least twice. 
So everyone just have a freaking picnic and takes a nap in the middle of this fight. Can’t say I saw that coming exactly.
Fabian tries to stab Dayne, who is already dead, during the time stop.
“What the fuck do they teach you at this school?”
“Are you talking about the time thing or–”/“Yeah Gorgug! The time thing!.”
“We’re gonna kill this motherfucker, sweetie.”
I love Sklonda so much.
Jawbone is a salad guy.
OK so I know people were shipping Sklonda and Gilear and it was like, “But how would that work with the height difference?” so Brennan, the absolute madman, decides to pair her with the GIANT DEMON???
Adaine about Gilear: Cucked again.
Everyone treating the DRAGON like a JUNGLE GYM.
“It’s basically Jeb Bush’s Campaign.” Ally, with the fury of 1000 suns: EXCUSE ME?
“I bless, [Riz], your mom, and [Fabian.] Are you the only ones with vendettas?”
“I think we’re all pretty blessed.” Gorgug/Zac is so good.
Adaine, who has all the wisdom and intelligence points of the entire party at the moment: You need to stay safe because the reason that we died is that you died. 
The shot that shows everyone on the giant dragon and then the foreground fuzzes out and shows Adaine a safe distance away in the background is hilarious. 
Ice guitar pick. Sweet.
Yeah, Siobhan really shoulda got healing potions out of her jacket, not the freaking wand. Hilarious. The only thing helpful about that was it hinted he was vulnerable to frost damage which they could have guessed. 
I wonder what Brennan had in his notes about the freaking city in Adaine’s jacket. It’s wild they weren’t more curious about that.
I low key loved Emily buffing Murph the whole fight.
“Hell yes Sklonda!”
Ragh: Giving a gay pride speech./Adaine, who doesn’t want to get knocked out again: STAB HIM IN THE DICK DUDE.
And, speaking of, OWWW.
Fig shapeshifting to Dayne. The hell Emily!
And another eye gouging.
Fabian is incapable of doing a single thing without doing some ridiculous parkour stunt first. 
Kristen,not twenty minutes after Riz said it would be crazy to go inside the dragon: Can I climb inside the dragon’s mouth? (Adaine: KRISTEN!)
Gorgug saving Skonda and Riz going, “Thanks for saving my mom!” from across the room.
Brennan is narrating the epic final battle and what cool thing everyone is doing and Kristen is just being digested. 
Riz was my second choice for the coup de grace until it turned out that Kal ate his dad and then he was my first choice. Riz!!!!
What a badass moment for him. The image of him casting a shadow on the wall is super dope.
Everyone flipping off Kal as he dies.
Riz and Sklonda are making dragon casserole bay-bee! 
MURPH FAILS WITH BARDIC INSPIRATION AND BLESS AT A 12 DC.
Aguefort. What a chaos monster.
“I fucked that bird! It is my paramour!”
Hold up, hold up, hold up. Did Kristen’s freaking Yes god kick Sol out of his own freaking heaven? WHAT?
I love that what Adaine got out of this experience was, “Wait, so my powers are bullshit?”
“Everything in this world is bullshit, Ms. Abernant.” Preach.
“So is the sun just a yes now?”/“Maybe.”
Literally 6 cop NPCs. Like they all seem like they’re morons but I’m sure it would have helped!
“Fuck it dude, it’s worth asking.”
“Are you my dad?”/“I was about to ask you the very same thing.”/“What?”
“TAKE HIS EYE. CUT OUT HIS EYE. YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU?”
Brennan really likes the word bud.
Freak the fuck out all the time and just fuck things up. 
They got their ice cream later! And Adaine says thank you to Basrar, even though he’s not even there.
Adaine as the 7 freed maidens (way to go Sandra-Lynn) are re-killing Goldenhoard: Us and them are the only good students.
Gorgug’s nat20! What a WILD time for the dice to give that to him.
“You gotta ask. I ask everyone if they’re my dad.”
Gorgug’s dad (Gorbag) has just as low an intelligence score as his son. It’s hilarious but also sweet.
THE VULTURE
I thought that Digby and WIlma just found Gorgug in the woods? Maybe I’m not remembering right. I would guess that was their version of the stork story but they straight up told him what docking was so…
“Do any other federal agents want to step to Arthur Aguefort on the grounds of his school?”
The Aguefort way!
I wonder what Sam has to say about her former BFF selling her out like that and also getting murdered.
It seems like Gorgug was put on the guest list for hell by accident (his relieved reaction was adorable) but I thought that was orc heaven?
Interesting Gorthalax still has pull in hell when he’s a high school coach now.
BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
How did he watch the fight? Do they have pay per view in hell?
“I doubt Cathilda will end up here.”
Bill is just such a maniac. I love him so much. I wanna say I can’t believe that killing the devil dril tweet was serious but I can. It’s Bill.
Bill and Fabian having a casual convo in HELL.
Oh my God, Fabian’s mom stabbed Bill’s eye out and he proposed on the spot. No wonder Fabian is so into Aelwen. It’s in his DNA.
What a dope ship.
I can’t believe Emily tricked me into thinking that her end speech wasn’t in service to some nonsense. She held it together for so long but I should have known bc it’s EMILY.
“Young lady, I have no idea who that is and I’m telling you right now yes. I will make whoever that person is vice principal.”
Adaine: Uhhhh….we should find Zayn.
Aww, Zayn’s parents were also terrible elves. 
Unwanted Wingwoman Kristen Applebees
lol at Adaine casting Ray of Sickness on everyone suggesting she date ghost Zayne. Great callbacks to the early eps all around. 
Don’t @ me, but Adaine w/ a ghost boyfriend who also had terrible elf parents might be kinda sick.
“Tomorrow, we’re gonna start training you on how to actually swordfight.” Uhhh, I kinda love Fabian’s mom now?
She literally hasn’t been sober in 15 years. Icon.
“I didn’t know you spoke Tornado.”
Siobhan’s late season tendency to just flip things/people off is hilarious.
Wild that Adaine’s parents just legit DITCHED her that hard and she was like, f ‘em. Clean break.
“She’s helping me spread something.”
Gorgug has so many friends now!!!!!
Lol, Fabian’s whole journey has just been about becoming captain of the Owlbears.
Riz got his PI License. 
Lou and Fabian immediately being so mad at the idea of his mom (Hallariel?) getting with Gilear. Emily/Fig having an equal but opposite reaction. 
“Mama, I will kill this man.”/“I’ll kill you first, it’s not up to you.”
Sandra-Lynn gets with Jawbone. Did Brennan just roll to pair up everyone?
Also, the group is almost all related or quasi-related now. Gorthalax got with Sklonda which makes Fig and Riz sorta siblings. Gilear got with Hallariel making Fig and Fabian sorta siblings. Jawbone sorta adopted Adaine and he got with Sandra-Lynn, again making Adaine kinda siblings with Fig. Plus Fig claimed Gorgug as a sibling a lot of eps ago and if Kristen sticks with Tracker then she’ll marry into this mess. Crazy!
Fabian totally dipping on the sequel hook because he’s gonna be busy trying to break Aelwen out of jail.
I’ve been keeping up with the fanart but there was some in here I hadn’t seen and it was super dope!
I’m so glad we had the after epilogue-epilogue. It was a very nice send-off.
Adaine using her oracle authority to get Zayn back into school! She’s so good. 
Lol and she helped Basrar so he can grant other wishes. I love that this is the NPC that she decided she was going all in for.
Riz and Adaine join AV club! Idk why I love that detail.
Riz cutting off Adaine’s very good question about her jacket w/ his PI talk.
“They’re our rivals.”/“Into it.”
“Is ‘The Ball’ not your real name?” I love Fabian so much.
Zac doing Gorgug’s excited crack-y teenage voice when he’s just concentrating on that and not playing the game is so adorable. He’s just so sweet and enthusiastic and a good kid.
“Guess that tin flower worked, huh?” I cry.
I love that Gorgug’s happy ending is basically just that he has friends now. And that’s literally all he wanted starting out. 
“FIG! GO TO BARD CLASS!”
Aww, Ragh and Gorgug are friends now.
I knew it! I at some point pitched the idea of Ragh ending up with one of the AV guys so he would be w/ someone who had enough intelligence to keep him from dying and I’m 90% sure it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t be bothered to find it right now. But anyway, he’s in the lgbt club w/ Ragh and Kristen so it’s def a possibility! 
“My bitch sister? Don’t you fucking dare.” (lol, if that happens then the group will be even more related)
Fabian considering recruiting the Cubbys for his rescue attempt of Aelwen.
“Gilear!” I love that Fig loves Gilear now but still calls him by his first name.
And that was Fantasy High! 
I have at least two more posts in the hopper: And epilogue retrospective type deal and also the official JQ37 ranking of all the adults in Fantasy High.
Thanks for sticking with me this far you guys. I can’t draw to save my life and I don’t really do fic so this is the one little way I can contribute to this thing I love so much. 
It’s been real and I’ll see you all soon for an epilogue because, no surprise, I have more things to say. 
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