#a guide to domestic life by the zenmasters

[jacquelineshyde]

Golden Years by PoetDameron

In the middle of a stressing week, Hyde gets a call from home that almost makes him lose his cool. [Future fic].

AO3 // Fanficiton.net // Tumblr

[jacquelineshyde]

how and who do you think was jackie's first kiss?

I want to believe it wasn’t so bad but let’s be honest, life is not that nice to any of us. I don’t think her first kiss was Kelso, especially when I love to ignore the bullshit of season 4′s Class Picture.

All girls were talking about how much they have kissed when Jackie is around 12 or 13, even if half of them were lying, and Jackie couldn’t get behind. 

She tries her best to stay neutral, but slowly gets to talk to her first crush and suddenly, out of nowhere, the boy kisses her and she is all wide eyes, red cheeks and empty stomatch.

It wasn’t an actual kiss-kiss, but a smooch. Wet, short, teeth brushing her lips. She didn’t like it as much as she said to everyone else that she did. 

Then, her first open mouthed kiss comes from a more experienced, probably older, boy and it isn’t so bad, but again– she may not like the cigarrette flavour, the wetness of it, teeth against teeth.

But with time it becomes better, and she finds herself enjoying kissing. And her first kiss with Michael is a mess, is probably disgusting, and she almost stops dating him right away, but he charms his way into her heart as we know, and–. 

Fez is next. Her best kiss at the time. It’s so sad for her to think how Fez is a better kisser than Michael, even when his kiss was never asked for and older she will realize how many times she had been kissed and touched against her will, she will look at Steven laying at her side and think of how much she doesn’t want him to know, even if deep down she knows he does.

Comes Steven, who she wanted to kiss for a very long time. whose kiss is so intense and so warm, perfect, she is numb by the end of it. Her heart is beating so fast, it seems like if it’s not moving at all, and she lies for the intensity of it. To this day, she still regrets laying as much as he does, too.

Now, Todd is another story. 

She doesn’t think much of it but the fact that she felt good when it happened, then bad when she realized it was wrong, even worse when months after she finally accepts she has been kissed against her will once more and all because of her constant vulnerability thanks to the same idiot. How she took him back over and over again, it’s beyond her by now.

But enters Steven again. His beard tickles in a weird way, it’s new and all too welcomed. He is by far the best kisser she has ever had, and it’s just one soft touch of lips against lips, then another one because this needed to happen. If they hadn’t kiss that afternoon in the basement, they would have every other day, but it was going to happen.

His beard burns, she has a small injury near her lips and he finds it funny, says it’s a great war scar and she arcs an eyebrow before kissing him to shut him up. Jackie bites him, he responds by moaning and doesn’t mind if it bleeds a little, and also doesn’t mind only kissing for the longest time until she is ready to let him touch her in other places.

The first time they kiss in public, her heart is about to leave her chest, and she prays to all Gods or whatever out there that wants to hear her that this doesn’t turn into a disaster, into another heartbreak, into another sad story. 

And when they kiss with their friends in the same room, their disgusting sounds made her laugh and roll her eyes, he cuddles her more to him, sitting on his chair and smirks at their friends before saying they had to endure Donna and Eric, maybe this time they can learn something about actual kissing, so she turns and kisses him again.

His ego is as ridiculous as hers, and is a mask as much as hers, although the way she feels about them being a couple is real, so she keeps kissing him in the hopes he will understand that.

Steven kisses her different when they make love, it’s amazing. The right kind of loving and lustful, this is how she imagined an actual lover kisses you and is so wonderful, she cries a little and he seems to get the wrong message, thinking he may have done something bad, so she kisses him in return to make him understand no, no, this is all she ever wanted.

As the time goes by, to kiss Steven becomes part of her every day and she’s still amazed by how it never feels like something she has to do, it’s always because she wants to kiss him, she wants to be kissed by him. Jackie knows she will never get tired of him and his lips.

He kisses her sweet and tender on their wedding day, passionate and hard on their wedding night, and when their first kid is born, he kisses her like if his life depends on it, even if soft and calm, with their baby against her chest, between them.

Steven is still the most handsome men when they are 40 and 70, when their first grandchildren is born and when she calls them grandpa and grandma for the first time. 

They still kiss every morning and before going to sleep, they kiss the day he goes, she wishes she could kiss him the day she does, and they kiss when the light clears around her and he’s as young as their first summer together and she runs into his arms to kiss him again.

[jacquelineshyde]

Top10 PoetDameron Fanfictions, as voted by my followers: 5. Golden Years

In the middle of a stressing week, Hyde gets a call from home that almost makes him lose his cool. [Future fic]. JH. 

AO3 | Fanfiction.net | Tumblr

[jacquelineshyde]

kill me with 34

OMG! What the fuck is wrong with you, man? D: Now in revenge, i’ll write other kind of dying.

34. In a pool of your own blood

ff.net // AO3

Hyde’s day had been a nightmare.

Not only Kelso and Brooke thought it was a good day to have a big fight and leave their eldest daughter with him so they could resolve their crap alone, but the latest album shipment to Grooves was completely wrong. The distributor had screwed up his order, and he was the one who had to fix it.

He hated this part of being The Boss. He tried his damn best, but on days like this he wished he could still be the lazy kid in the basement. But nope.

Nowdays he was the owner of a growing chain of music stores that also supported small bands, giving them a chance to get heard. He was also a very stressed-out-at-the-moment husband and a very worried-for-the-past-week father.

“Uncle Hyde?” Betsy said. She was almost twelve-years-old and got bored easily. “Are we going to your house soon? I want to see Ally!”

“Almost,” he said and taped his complaint to the distribution company.

“You said that, like, a hundred hours ago!”

“Quit complaining, or I’ll take you to your grandma’s.”

“Ugh!” She lowered her head to his desk with a thump! When she looked up again, she had a red mark on her forehead, and he smiled. No way he was telling her about it. “What if I take the bus to your house?” she said.

“Nope.”

“Argh!”

He shared her frustration. He wanted to be home, too. Jackie was there, hopefully relaxing and enjoying her last maternity leave. Their eight-year-old son and five-year-old daughter were helping her take care of their youngest, seven-month-old Alison.

But in his office at Grooves, he couldn’t relax. Jackie’s calendar was an open sore stinging his brain. It wouldn’t close until she wrote a giant P under one of the days of the week. Any day of the week, as long as it was soon. “Uncle Hyde?” Betsy said as the office phone rang.

“Mmm?”

“Are you almost done?”

“Almost.”

“You said that three years ago!”

“I really am gonna take you to your grandma’s!”

“ARGH!”

He looked at his goddaughter for a moment, a smirk on his face, before answering the phone. Grooves had two numbers, one for the store itself and one for his office, which meant this call could only be from family or important contacts. Eleven o'clock told him the caller was his son, Dave.

“Hey, buddy,” Hyde said.

“Dad, mommy says you have to come home, or she won’t leave the bathroom ever again.”

“What?” He must’ve sounded strange because Betsy stared at him and blinked a few times.

“Mommy’s having a crisis in the bathroom,” Dave said.

“What?” Hyde repeated and shifted in his desk chair. Dave was always calm while talking, even when he was in trouble or reporting that one of his sisters was sick. He didn’t need to practice Zen; he was born Zen. “Dave,” Hyde said, “what’s going on?”

“Not much. Mommy doesn’t want to get out the bathroom because she’s going to traumatize me forever.” He sighed. “She wants you to come home.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know, but get here fast. Alison wakes up in, like, two hours or something. There’s no boob to give her.”

Hyde shook his head. “Dave, please, never say that in front of your mother.”

“There’s no titty to give her.”

“David.”

“Father.”

Just for a second, Hyde wondered how this kid got such personality. Then his giggle, loud and annoying, childish but full of mischief, reminded him who his mother was.

And who his father was.

“You sure she didn’t tell you what the fuss is about?” Hyde said.

“Nope.”

Why was his son such a little prick? “Good. Then … do you know what the fuss is about?”

“Well, not really,” Dave said. “But the chair’s got blood all over it.”

“WHAT!?”

**

Silence greeted Hyde when he opened the front door to his house—until his eldest daughter, Layla, spotted Betsy beside him.

“Beeeetsssyyyyyyyy!” Layla ran into her cousin’s arms, and Betsy hugged her when Hyde stepped inside and closed the door.

He sighed, looking at them, then smiled. The house seemed just as he left it this morning: peaceful. But neither Jackie nor Dave were anywhere to be seen. He checked the dining room first. One of the chairs was missing, and Dave’s statement about blood being “all over it” became apparent. Red droplets stained the rug where the chair used to be.

The door to the backyard scraped open. He glanced toward it. Betsy and Layla were dashing to the dog, who waited for them outside with his tail wagging.

They’d be safe in the backyard, especially with the dog. Page would bark if the kids needed Hyde’s attention, and he rushed up the stairs to the second floor.

Maybe Jackie was safe, too. If Dave was able to keep his cool, how much danger could she be in … unless she’d kept the truth from him. That sounded a lot like her. She was capable of acting fine as she broke down inside, just to ensure their kid’s happiness remained intact.

“Dave?” he called in the hallway.

“In your room!” Dave shouted back, and Hyde followed his voice.

The master bedroom’s door was opened and by the bathroom’s door, his kid was sitting, slumped in Hyde’s armchair and wearing a frown too deep for his age. He cared as deeply for his mother, as much as Hyde did.

“She’s been there for almost an hour,” Dave said and gestured at the bathroom.

“Just a second, man.” Hyde walked to Allison’s cradle, making sure the baby was okay.

The girl was deep asleep, no clue about the small drama around her. He smiled, caressing her small head and walking to the bathroom’s door. Sighing, he looked at his son first, who only shrugged, then knocked at the door.

“Steven?” Jackie said through the door. Hyde tried to open it, jostling the nob, but he stopped when she shouted, “NO!”

“Jackie, whatever it is, I can’t help if you don’t let me in.”

“Get David out of the room; then you can open the door.”

“What?” Hyde looked at their son, who shrugged. “Jackie? Are you okay?”

“NO!” she shouted again, and Dave looked at him with urgency. “TAKE DAVID AWAY AND GET IN HERE!”

Hyde smiled apologetically. “Sorry, buddy. Your mom seems to be a little stressed.”

“Dad, she sounds like Aunt Donna.”

“I HEARD YOU, DAVID!”

“Okay, never say that in front of your aunt,” Hyde said, but Dave only nodded. “Make sure Layla’s okay, would ya? Betsy’s downstairs with her.”

“All right.”  Dave went to the bedroom door but didn’t leave. “Dad? Make sure mommy’s okay.”“Will do, pal.”

“I love you too, David!” Jackie shouted, and Dave’s cheeks went pink. He bolted from the room, and Hyde looked at the bathroom door again. “Steven?” Jackie said.

“Doll, what is going on?”

“I have good news and bad news.”

“Okay…”

“C-come in.”

He opened the door. Jackie was sitting inside the bathtub, wearing only her underwear. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked at him like she was a scared puppy. He suppressed a grin at the sight. His impulse was to pull her into his arms, but the room’s smell warned him to stay put, unless he wanted Jackie to kill him.

“So,” she said and hugged her legs to her chest, “I’m not pregnant.”

“Holy shit!” He laughed, unable to hold back his relief. “Look at this! It’s a crime scene!”

“Shut up! Just get the damn pads!”

He cupped his mouth but continued to laugh. It was the first time in over a week he’d had any laughter to piss her off with. When she’d first told him her period was late, they looked at each other for three panicked seconds. Then Alison started to cry, and the real world kept them moving, even while they waited for their luck to turn.

Jackie had always wanted three kids, no less and no more. She’d sounded so practiced when she first explained why:  “If one of our children  is a genius, the second one will feel bad if she isn’t. So we need to have a third one, who’ll  also be of average intelligence. That way we can have one happy genius and two happy dummies!’

But now she didn’t seem prepared at all but ashamed, and he was having the worst time of his life, helpless to stop laughing at the scene in front of him—and about everything that had happened since they thought a fourth kid was on the way.

“Y-you don’t have pads?” he managed to say. “ So—so that’s why you made our son call me at the office–”

Water hit him in the face and cut off his laughter. Jackie had grabbed the tub’s hose and sprayed him.

“What the fuuuck?” He blinked water from his eyes, shook it from his hair.

“I have never, ever given you any problems with my period until today!” she said. “Now be a good husband and go get my pads!”

Another wave of laughter hit him. The situation was too damn hilarious. The tub wasn’t even stained with that much blood, but she pointed the hose at him again, and he put up his hands. “I’m going, I’m going!”

The bathroom fell into silence, and an excited murmur from downstairs reached them. The dog was clearly in the house again. He should’ve told Layla and Betsy to keep Page outside. Jackie didn’t like the dog being around the baby.

He sighed and walked toward the bathtub. His shirt and face were wet, and when he sat down on the bathroom tile, his ass became wet, too.

“And you’re in the tub because…?” he said.

Jackie didn’t answer. She was trying to cover the little blood on the tub’s floor. For what Dave had told him, she’d been in here for at least an hour. He reached over the lip of the tub when she finally looked up. His fingers caressed her blushing cheek, and she leaned into his touch with closed eyes.

“I never gave you problems with my period before,” she said. “No stains, no pad-problem—I always warned you when it was coming—and no pregnancy scares.” She sighed, opening her eyes and looking at him, obviously ashamed. “I’m a grown woman, and I just had a pregnancy scare after three wanted pregnancies! What is wrong with me?”

“Well…” His fingers tunneled into the softness of her dark hair. She sighed and closed her eyes again. “I wasn’t going to live forever thinking you don’t get your period,” he said. “Knew it would happen, eventually. Glad it was now when I can laugh about it and not when I’ll be all cranky–” She glared at him. “Crankier at everything,” he corrected. “We’re fine.”

“Maybe we are,” she said, “but I traumatized our kid for life! He saw the blood on the dining room chair and my clothes!”

He chuckled, but she showed him the hose, and he pressed his lips together to calm himself down. Then he sighed. “Dave is going to be fine. He was just worried about you. Once we explain this is normal and natural, he’ll be cool.”

“He’s eight, Steven.”

“Have you heard him talk?” Hyde stood up half-way, using the bathtub lip for support, and kissed her forehead. “I don’t think he’s eight,” he said and straightened up fully. “Maybe eighteen.”

“He’s my baby and will only stop being that when he leaves the house. GET MY PADS!”

“Yes, dear.” He sighed. “Just take a shower and relax, all right? I gotta change outta these clothes you hosed down.”

He left the bathroom, but before he could reach his dresser, he spotted the dog darting toward Layla’s room. The kids weren’t far behind, and he closed his bedroom door.

“Steven?” Jackie said from the bathroom. She was naked and had started the shower. “If the kids got the dog inside, please don’t tell me.”

“No problem.”

“Thank you, baby.”

He closed the bathroom door for her. Then he removed his wet clothes, put on dry ones, and went to Alison’s cradle. The baby girl was still asleep, hadn’t even move a bit. He kissed his finger and touched it to the top of her head. She could sleep through the most disruptive of noises, ability he both admired and envied.

His laughter returned as he went to the drug store for Jackie’s pads. This was what his life had become: driving home at full-speed, like Dale Earnhardt in the Winston Cup Championship, worried shit something bad had happened to his wife, and ending up having to buy menstrual pads for the first time.

He wouldn’t want it any other way.

***

**

*

[jacquelineshyde]

how do you think is jackie's relationship with the rest of the burkharts?

She grow up spoiled shitless, so my guess is that the rest of her family must be like this. We are also told that she got Kelso to know her grandmother, which means she is one of those people who like their partner meeting their extended family when dating for months. Why I’m mentioning this? Because this indicate she may be, to some level, a home-y person.

Jackie’s relationship with her father is of great admiration. She probably hero-worshiped him because he was never really present but seemed tall and hard working, and was “the man of the house���, always providing for her and her mother. So I think she may actually have a goo relationship with the rest of the Burkharts.

Most times, I write Jackie as an only grandchildren since I often write Jack as an only child; while her family from Pam’s side is more colorful in the sense that there’s more people and I also headcanon Pam and her family as a middle-up class, not much of a high-class family.

So, she has a good realtionship with the Burkharts and may be not so close the Pam’s family for desicion of her.

Now in more headcanon territory. I had grandma Brukhart to be named Beulah, which would explain her ugly ass name. She’s kind of a cold person, extra fancy and educated, but she does loves Jackie. Jack often says his kitten looks like his mother. Her grandfather, Charles, died when she was too young to remember him all that good.

But Jack has cousins to who he is kind of close, since he didn’t have siblings. I have came out with uncle Barney, who lives in Seattle and is a lawyer. He is nice in his own way and always says ‘hi’ to Hyde when they see each other. He’s married to aunt Mimi (Miriam) and have two children (boys, one older than her –Matthew– and the other of her age, David).

Later in life, in my ‘A Guide to Domestic Life by the Zenmasters’ verse (that is the same verse as the ‘Pillow Talks’ and the ‘What Cosmo Didn’t Say’ ficlets series), Jackie names her first child after her cousin David, who was her first best friend while growing up. Dave Hyde’s second name is William, like Hyde’s biological father, but also like her grandfather from Pam’s side who was always nice to her.

From Pam’s side, she has an aunt who I haven’t named, who is married and has a girl. The girl is way younger than Jackie, but she likes her, and the girl likes Hyde a lot. Pam is the older on her siblings. The middle child is uncle Richie (Richard), he never married nor had children because he is gay, and his family lowkey rejects him. 

Like, they are with him and talk to him and all, but if he has a boyfriend, they introduce him as a friend or even a cousin. Pam and Jack actually decided for Jackie to not see her uncle as much, which sucked because Richie and Jackie have a great relationship.

He always made sure she was okay, called every week to talk to her, buy her nice stuff she actually liked or wanted, made her read, teach her to ride a bike, he was always there. But she never knew why her parents didn’t let her stay as much with her uncle.

Once older and out her house, Richard invites her to dinner at his place. She’s really excited and takes Hyde, and all that. That’s when she met his partner, Griner, who is an awesome chef (Richard is book’s editor); she finally realized why her dad didn’t want her so much with Richard and she got so mad, she went to see Jack to jail to yell at him.

After that, she has a great relationship with uncle Richie. Her younger daughter in ‘A Guide’ has Rachel as a middle name in honor of uncle Richard. Hyde chose both his daughter’s names, but she chose their middle names. He also has a good relatioship with Richard and Griner.

He appreciates Richie a lot because he realized, without Jackie telling him, that he was the only one in that family that was actually looking after her.

Thanks for your question! ~

[jacquelineshyde]

Any Jackie/Hyde cute family moments or fics you can recommend?

Hello there! 

I have my Zen Family tag that is all type of posts, fics, headcanons, etc. regarding Hyde and Jackie as a family with their children, nices and nephews, friends, and so. 

Also in that tag, you will find my headcanons of them as parents here and here. There is also that one time in my old blog when people came with the idea of Hyde and Jackie having a daughter and did these posts: here, here , here and here.

Finally, my series ‘A Guide to Domestic Life by the Zenmasters’ that talks about their future, and well yes, domestic life as a couple. It includes them being parents, specifically in the fanfics She get’s me through this god awful lonliness and Golden Years.

My favorite JH fanfics of them being parents are ALL by @that70sshowgoldencouple:

Party Crashers by nannygirl

Summary: It’s the night before Red’s birthday and Kitty is planning a big party but there are a few obstacles keeping her from her party planning. Jackie is pregnant and nine days overdue, Hyde doesn’t know what to do, and Red doesn’t want the party at all. My 100th FanFiction Story!

Rated: K+

Baby Cakes by nannygirl

Summary: When expectant parents Jackie and Hyde can’t seem to agree on whether or not they should find out the gender of their baby, they turn to Red and Kitty Forman who share with them a story of their own experience.

Rated: K+