#a one off character in a show that ended years ago is unlikely to have a whole movie

[koimethehorizon]

Amazing Digital Circus Theory: Gangle is an NPC

Sooo, I wasn’t expecting to talk about this show. I was perfectly content to just enjoy Digital Circus as is.

It’s a show that invites theories as to what exactly’s going on with the setting and characters, but I didn’t have much room to think too hard about it. Who’s Abel? Is Pomni really a human? Why is this VR game emulating an N64 game at the start? I like the show plenty, but it just wasn’t as interesting to go hard on any of those questions at the time.

But with this recent episode… a single, perhaps throwaway line got the brain nagging. And it’s kind of a bizarre one to waste hours analyzing.

Okay, so yeah, it’s a joke on submissive and breedable. (Don’t give them ideas) But try taking it at face value.

What does he mean by this? Sure, Jax is an asshole, and being a bullied kid is Gangle’s whole archetype… but what if it means a little more than that?

Gangle’s trapped for all eternity this asshole and she’s just letting him boss her around. Zooble can choose not to participate, so no one has to. Why does Gangle listen to Jax at all?

Let's entertain a thought: Is Gangle an NPC?

With Episode 2 bringing so much attention to the autonomy of NPCs, it seemed natural to start pointing fingers at characters being this or that. But this isn't just a random crackshot, I feel that there is a story to tell here.

Look back at Pomni’s “orientation” with the other humans. Ragatha, Zooble, and Jax ease her by saying that they’ve been trapped in this world for years and then bring attention to Kinger being the oldest.

But Gangle… she’s isolated from the peanut gallery, busy moping about the broken comedy mask instead.

Every character has been given some hints as to how they’ve been coping with the situation. Jax no longer empathizes with anything, Ragatha once had trouble adjusting but now tries to stay happy, Zooble picks and chooses her involvement, Kinger is the eldest and just exists for the hell of it, and Pomni is new to everything.

With Gangle, it’s a blank. No opinion, no hints of her human side, how long she’s been here, no thoughts on the games, nothing. She’s just Jax’s punching bag.

Even Kinger gets a potshot on Gangle in a rock-paper-scissors game…. and he likely forgot that she doesn’t have hands!

And that brings me to another detail. Doesn't Gangle look different from the others?

Unlike everyone else, Gangle's just a mask and a ribbon. No hands or legs, or just any limbs in general. She stands out as looking a bit simpler than the others.

Gangle's most interesting design trait is that she's based on comedy and tragedy masks. The ones used old Greek theater to dictate the emotions of their characters.

The first episode seems to imply that with a broken comedy mask, Gangle literally can’t stay happy. Hence why we see her sad most of the time. That's a strange limitation if Gangle's human mind is supposed to be completely intact, especially with how expressive the other characters can be.

It's not delved into too much but does Gangle actually rely on these masks to "feel" emotions?

The obvious hole is that Caine would’ve just killed her a while ago if she was an NPC, but he's not exactly omniscient.

He even admits that he has to kill them off because it’s possible for him to lose track.

Now normally I could just stop here, but I’m all about the grand statements. You know, the retroactive readings of an episode once you get a theory going. Why does Gangle being an NPC matter at all? How does Ep 2 change?

While deep diving, I realized that the thematic core of Episode 2 is Pomni and Jax’s approaches to surviving the Digital Circus.

In Pomni’s A plot, we see her connecting with Gummigoo, the NPC that Caine pitted their group against. After discovering him lamenting his new reality, she finds a strange comfort in being existentially lost together. Because in the end the NPCs and the humans are just as displaced and frightened in this meaningless world.

In Jax’s B plot, he forces Gangle to follow some insane orders. Sabotage the game to let the big chocolate turd monster destroy the Candy Kingdom. To Jax, he is the main character. Helping or displeasing this giant population of fake people doesn’t have any consequence for him, so why humor anyone but yourself?

A bit of a stretch, but what if Jax already knows Gangle is an NPC and is keeping it quiet as long as Gangle follows orders, hence the “submissive” comment? He’d be a way more unpleasant character with this reading, but it doesn’t seem off the cards with how he treats everyone anyway.

This dichotomy already plays out well within the episode, but when reframing it as Pomni and Gummigoo vs Jax and Gangle, the parallel is a lot more interesting.

Make an NPC an equal, they die. But keep an NPC under wraps as long as they continue to obey you… they live.

The episode ends with a grim conundrum that NPCs can’t be together with the humans, not because of their differences but because they're just... not allowed to be. But what if one already in the group, proving that they’re just as capable as the humans to play the games and grieve loved ones together?

PS. Despite knowing everyone else's name, I actually forgot Gangle's until I started finding evidence for this intrusive thought. Sorry Gangle.

PSS. I couldn't fit this anywhere, but Gangle's door frame doesn't work as evidence against the NPC theory, because even the mannequins have their own rooms in that hallway.

[jammed-out]

Hypnovember Day 11 - IQ Reduced

(CW: trans character, mental gap/time loss, teacher grad student dynamic)

“You know what I love most about the new batch of grad students that come in every year thinking they know so much about everything?” Avery’s eyes tried to focus as the teacher paced back and forth in front of the chalkboard. Her steps blurred together causing her to look as though she were moving in slow motion. Avery felt her head hurt with each attempt she made at focusing. Why was it so hard for her to focus, just a few minutes ago she had been so attentive and now she could barely keep her head from falling into her chest.

“They have such high IQ’s. Of course they do. How else would they end up in my class, after all, I designed it for only the smartest of the students, but every so often, one student who just doesn’t quite make the cut stumbles in. Isn’t that right Avery?” Avery blushed, she had taken the class even though her test scores didn’t quite meet the threshold. The guidance counselors had warned against it saying that taking Professor Bindi’s class was only for the most skilled students. But she knew she could do it, she would work even harder than she usually did. Why shouldn’t she be allowed to take the class.

Professor Bindi gripped Avery’s short brown hair and pulled her head up. The teacher looked down at her from above and Avery felt herself groan. The teacher was so smart, she shouldn’t have been here. She was stupid to take the class. She knew that now. She didn’t want to be here, she wanted to go home. But it was so hard to think of how to move. Even as the teacher pulled her head back smirking, Avery couldn’t think of how to move her own head.

“It must be so hard for you to think now. It doesn’t take long for the arrogant ones to show up and break.” Avery opened her mouth to protest but Professor Bindi quickly shoved three fingers into Avery’s mouth. Avery moaned, immediately licking at the fingers. A part of her mind reeled back against her instinct to do so. Why was she doing that, and why did it feel so good to have something in her mouth. Her attempts to complain quickly silenced with soft whimpers from deep in her throat.

“My you are a weak willed one.” Professor Bindi smirked and quickly pushed aside Avery’s notebook and slid onto the long table. Her skirt slid up her legs showing the bare skin where her tights ended just underneath. Avery’s eyes drifted downwards, she was so embarrassed.

“You see, my class is designed for only those with true mental acuity. After all, it is designed to explain how to manipulate those weaker than the smartest there are for our own gain. Subliminal suggestions, mindful triggers, and simple tricks that are designed to break the weakest minds without them even realizing.” Professor Bindi removed her fingers drawing a wet streak over Avery’s cheek before giving her a sharp slap across her face. Avery blinked, her mind focusing for a brief moment as she leaned back against her chair gasping as if she had awoken from a dream.

Professor Bindi was doing something to her. Avery slowly started to push her chair back with her feet trying to put distance between them. Professor Bindi raised one foot and quickly spun on the table, her skirt twisting. Her shoe slammed against Avery’s chest pinning her to the seat, the seat pinned to the table behind her. The heel pressed against the base of her rib cage sharply digging in. Avery gasped.

“Please…I’ll drop the course. I’m sorry for not listening to-“ Avery protested quickly shrinking in on herself.

Professor Bindi raised a hand quickly silencing Avery. Avery found her voice cut off as she mouthed silent words that trailed off into a jumbled mess of thoughts. “Avery dear, I have no intention of you dropping my class. You see, unlike most of the other mindless imbeciles who were already well on their way to being mindless thralls, you managed to write notes on every single thing I said. Even as you stared ahead blankly, lost, your intelligence dropping point by point into blissful oblivion, you managed to stay entirely focused on every word I said.” Professor Bindi lowered her hand and Avery felt her mind slowly start to piece itself back together.

“What- What do you want from me then?” Avery didn’t know why she couldn’t fight the control Professor Bindi had over her. She stumbled over her words, unable to look away from the professor’s face. She was so lovely, even in her older years she had managed to maintain a perfect physical form.

“I want to see how long you’ll last. I want to keep reducing those pretty little IQ points of yours only to let you have them back. I want you to be my experimental project. I want to see how much the human brain can truly withstand.” The older woman smirked, her teeth showing in a wicked grin. She looked like an animal waiting to devour Avery.

“But what will happen to me?” Avery tried to squirm breaking out of the teacher’s hold.

“Won’t it be interesting to find out?” Professor Bindi removed her shoe. Avery took a deep breath and began to move forward sliding in her seat. She could just run out the door if she tried. All she had to do was quickly grab her bag and make it the first few steps.

Avery quickly jumped to her feet her hand shooting out for her bag. Professor Bindi sprung quickly catching Avery’s wrist in her hand and twisting. Avery felt herself stumble, falling forward. Her mouth hung open as all of the thoughts in her head turned to pudding. She felt so wet and sticky all of a sudden. Everything started to blur, fading down into nothingness.

---

Avery awoke with a start, her mouth was full of something warm. She blinked trying to clear her head as she slowly woke up. She raised her head, the thing in her mouth falling out with a pop. She looked down at it. It was a dick. She had a dick in her mouth. The last thing she remembered was trying to run out of Professor Bindi’s class. How did she get here?

“Oh good, you’re awake. How are you feeling my teaching assistant?” Avery blinked and looked up. Professor Bindi was sitting on her desk wearing only a bra and her leggings. Her cock hung in front of Avery’s face covered in spit. Avery blinked confused. What had happened, how long had she been out? She looked down at herself and was pleased to see that she was still clothed.

“I asked you a question. If you’re going to be my teaching assistant you’ll need to be better and responding. So how are you feeling?” Professor Bindi clicked her fingers on the desk.

Avery felt her attention drawn to the fingers. They were like a ticking clock. Each rasp of her nails on the wood sent an echo through her brain. She could feel it like a countdown. Each second it was getting harder and harder to focus. Her mind slowly clouding and drifting away.

“It’s like hard to think. My brain goes all fuzzy.” Avery blinked and crossed her eyes focusing really hard. “What you did to me?” She asked shaking her head. The words were all jumbled and messy in her brain.

“Like I told you. I plan to reduce your intelligence down to zero over and over again, bringing you up just enough to see if you can still function. How did my cock taste?”

The tapping stopped. Avery groaned and grabbed her head. It felt so full all of a sudden. Did her head always feel like this? “Ungh. It was fine. Please. My head hurts so much.”

“Describe it to me.”

Avery looked up at the teacher. She had a notebook in her hands and was taking notes with a pen. “It’s so full. I can feel every thought in my head, every single one, remember everything. Why didn’t my head hurt like this before? What did you do to me?”

Professor Bindi jotted down her notes before looking over the notebook at Avery. Avery felt so small. “And would you say you want me to take those thoughts away again? Would you rather go back to being a stupid cock sucking toy then being my teaching assistant?” She smiled and Avery felt like she was trapped.

Avery looked at the professor’s cock, still glistening with her spit. It was so smooth, she could practically trace the vein with her tongue, or remember doing it only a few moments ago. It tasted so good, she couldn’t get enough of it. A good teacher’s assistant wouldn’t leave the job unfinished.

Avery knew the thoughts weren’t hers, but they also were. Some part of her wanted this, but some part of her also wanted to be the smart student who could pass the class. She didn’t know what to do.

“Avery dear. If you don’t decide I’ll have to decide for you.” Professor Bindi slid her legs off the desk and gripped Avery’s head with her hand. She held out the notebook to the girl on her knees. “Take and record your thoughts and my analysis. Eventually perhaps I won’t have to do this by force.”

“By for-“ Avery’s words were cut off as the cock slammed past her lips. She felt it stretch her mouth wide as it pressed against the back of her throat quickly. She gagged but only for a second. It was as if everything in her brain turned off except thoughts of doing a good job sucking the cock.

Her hands reached up taking the notebook. She lowered it into her lap, her fingers fumbling with the pen. Slowly she began to write, she didn’t know what she was writing, thoughts were impossible for her now. She could only do it on instinct alone.

“Now as I was saying, I believe you enjoyed being put into a mindless no intelligence state so much, and who could blame you. Much like the other students who don’t belong in my class, your natural state is to serve and provide pleasure to those of use who are intelligent. However because you possess a beyond average subconscious, your brain is readily able to take over basic functions. I suspect it has to do with your need to prove yourself.” Professor Bindi released Avery’s head pulling her cock free with a loud pop. “Wouldn’t you agree Avery?”

Avery nodded, spit dripping off of her chin, her hair a tousled mess. “Yes…Professor…” She groaned, the life slowly returning to her eyes. She blinked and looked up at the professor.

“Very good. Back to it then.” The professor guided her cock back into Avery’s mouth. Her hands gripped either side of the student’s head. She rocked her hips roughly, her balls slamming against Avery’s chin. “My goodness your mouth is fantastic. I look forward to how much time we’ll be spending together this year.” She panted and pulled Avery’s head tightly against her stomach.

Avery could feel the cock twitch in her throat as the older woman unloaded into her stomach. Avery swallowed every drop hungrily. She would be diligent in her duties for the professor. In fact she would do anything for the professor. She would prove that she was worthy to take the class and maybe one day she could be smart too. If Professor Bindi allowed her to be.

The professor removed her cock with a heavy sigh. She held out her hand towards Avery. Avery quickly raised the notebook and pen, handing them over to her. Professor Bindi looked over her work, studying it. “Very good job Avery. I’m pleased with your work. You may wake up now.”

Avery blinked rapidly gasping for air. She suddenly felt fully in control again. It was as everything had been put back into its place correctly. She didn’t feel confused or heavy anymore. She missed the feeling a bit. Slowly she pushed herself up to her feet, standing there confused. Professor Bindi slowly turned around, her bare ass on display. Avery could see her cock still dripping a bit onto the floor. She felt as though she should say something, do something, but what was she supposed to do. It was as if Avery didn’t know herself anymore.

“Avery. Be a dear and fetch me my clothes from your desk.” Avery nodded and quickly walked over grabbing them. It was so strange, she hadn’t felt this docile in her life. She picked them up and slowly carried them back across the room. Why wasn’t she leaving or running or even telling someone?

“My office hours begin at eight tomorrow morning. I expect you there at exactly that time. We have quite a bit of work to do to get you prepared to be my assistant. If that is something you’d like. If not, I would suggest you drop my class. It tends to be quite a bit hands on as the year progresses.”

Avery blushed and stumbled over her words. “Professor I…I don’t think-“

“Precisely my dear. You don’t think. In fact I believe you spend to much time thinking rather than just doing. So if you would, just decide right now.” She raised her hand snapping her fingers.

Avery whimpered and crossed her hands shoving them between her legs. “I would like to be your best student and assistant. Please let me serve you in any way I can. I know I’m not good enough but I will do my best!” Avery quickly covered her mouth surprised at the outburst.

“Much better.” Professor Bindi pet Avery’s head smiling. “Walk me to my car Avery. We have much to discuss.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you enjoyed that. I’ll be following @h_sleepingirl prompt list for the entire month because I really like a couple of the prompts on the list. You should also definitely check out and support them.

You’ll also be able to find all of my writings under the tags on my page. But if you did enjoy this story, I will probably be continuing it on my ROM page so be sure to check it out there. Hope you enjoy and see you tomorrow!

[rgbsilver]

long rant on why bunny duo WILL happen

If you can’t tell I am going insane (spoiler warning/leak mention)

1: Merchandise/Logos

As I’m sure your aware, WanPre’s logo scheme corresponds to just about every single Cure:

Pink for Komugi/Wonderful, Purple for Iroha/Friendy, Green for Mayu/Lillan, and Blue for Yuki/Nyammy. This leaves us two colors left: orange and yellow, just enough to fulfill another duo.

The colors don’t just stop at the logo, either.

A special shout out to the daily satoru blog for finding this out (I never could have!), but Mayu’s ribbons also similarly match up with this.

Again, two colors are left, an Orange-Yellow color and White, just enough for our bunny duo!

These buttons are also similar: notice the outer colors and the inner colors. The outer colors on the owners correspond with their pets theme color (Mayu is Blue, Iroha is Pink, which fits with Yuki and Komugi) and the opposite for their pets.

By this, we can assume that Daifuku could be a White or Grey Cure, and Satoru could be a Yellow or Orange cure.

This ones already been mentioned, but again, the yellow/white colors!

..And even more buttons. Almost all merch featuring Satoru and Daifuku is either Yellow/Orange, or White/Grey. I’m not going to list everything ever here, but check out the Precure Wiki for more merchandise listings.

2: Daifuku is an anomaly (lol)

If you are unaware, Daifuku is a huge character for merchandising from WanPre. According to the wiki, out of all of the mascots, Daifuku has sold out much, much quicker and is well-received by fans.

Also, in WPC23.. do I have to explain this screen shot? Yuki just straight up calls him not ordinary.

But, she is right. Out of all the animals we’ve seen in the show, besides the Cures and the Kirarin Animals, none have the same proportions Daifuku does. And we know he isn’t a Kirarin animal (lacking the gem), so you can assume he’s a future Cure.

Also, as of WP24, Daifuku (and Satoru) has been to Niko Garden. Not sure if that strengths the point, but yeah.

Daifuku’s movie character: note how again, only the Cures in their animal form have the wristband (Komugi and Yuki.)

And, some card listings that were leaked a while ago:

This one is pretty self-explanatory: there’s 1 more slot for a Cure (or maybe a movie exclusive character) on these cards.

And as of recently, we have seen both of them together on one card in merchandise: it’s possible they both could be a Cure, just on one card.

And last but not least..

There’s 1 more spot for a Cure, or a duo! 3. Other things

Although I do agree the ending doesn’t leave much room for more cures, know that we still might get another ending. Mahou Tsukai and Kira had 3 endings, and Star Twinkle even had 4.

The point is, it’s not too late to call it quits! We have had cures introduced later too: Majesty’s first appearance was in 31. We still have hope. Probably. I’m also probably going insane.

We also can have another ‘Black Pepper’ which personally I think is going to happen— Daifuku will be a white colored Cure and Satoru will be a orange or yellow colored Black Pepper like hero.

Plus, we haven’t had a series without a mid season or additional warrior since Smile, which was 12 years ago. It’s pretty unlikely that’ll happen again.

And it’s not like there is anyone else who can be a mid season besides these two. Unless you count like.. MeyMey but that’s really unlikely lol.

(Against some popular theories: I think it wouldn’t make sense for Niko to be a cure, as not only as she (?) doesn’t fit the orange/white/yellow scheme (based off the Niko leaks), but they aren’t apart of a duo like Mayu and Yuki, Iroha and Wonderful, Satoru and Daifuku..

Plus, in WPC24, notice how Niko’s egg only glows after both Satoru and Daifuku are touching the egg. )

According to some posts I’ve seen on the wiki, ratings for the show actually drop if they don’t have a mid season or additional warrior— having one apparently does better for merchandise sales and reviews in general. Take this with a grain of salt, however. I have no idea if this is true, but I believe it. Plus, with Cure Wing being generally well-received, it’s not impossible that we can have more male cures in the future.

anyways. This is all just a theory. A FILM THEORY.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk ok bye. In my eyes will Daifuku be a cure? Yes. Will Satoru be a cure? Probably but more likely to be something like black pepper. I’m going insane thanks bye

[romana-after-dark]

“Blessed be the fruit”

“May the lord open”

The Handmaids Tale AU

Commander!Joel Miller x Darkish!Handmaid!Reader

Summary: A few decades into Gilead’s conception, you head into your first posting as a handmaid after an affair with a guardian landed you in trouble. Determined to keep your head low in order to keep your son safe, you take on the moniker of OfJoel. Commander Miller has very little to do with you and mrs. Miller regards you with disgust, however you find solace in an unlikely friendship with Commander Miller’s daughter from a handmaid 14 years ago, Ellie who just got done with wives school. You and your friend, Ofthomas start teacher her and her friend Reilly under her mothers nose. Slowly, Commander Miller begins spending time with you and you begin to learn more about the man he was before and an affair begins outside the confines of the ceremony. Although initially you go along with it out if survival, you find yourself falling for the version of Joel you saw in these late night rendezvous.

Which Joel is really him, and how will he react when his own daughters secrets are revealed?

Content and Warnings: DARK JOEL! DUB CON!

Although no violent rape happens like in TWW, reader is under systemic misogyny and a society of ritualized sex abuse. Everything other than the violent rape scenes, everything that happen in either The Handmaids Tale book or show are liable to happen here including but not limited to discussion of rape, child abuse, child marriage, ritualized sexual abuse, sexual abuse in general, acts of violence, major character deaths, mentions of miscarriage but never shown and never pregnancies we know of. Big ole homophobia warning, specifically in regards to lesbophobia. As for Joel, PIV sex, breeding kink, degrading (slut, whore etc but thing like Raider!joel) forced breeding and breeding kink, power dynamics, Joel is not the good guy but he’s also not the worst, slightly rough sex but not violent. Cucking, reader cucks joel's wife, is dark, participates in non con.

Warnings are liable to be added as the story goes but I’ll always update. As always if I miss something please tell me, but i extensively label my warnings and in the end media consumption is your own choice. If you would like to know if this is a happy ending or not you can message me and I’ll tell you that way I don’t spoil for everyone but you can decide if this is for you.

Immersability: Reader has long hair, can conceive children theoretically. At one point, she has to pose as Ellie's mother and I know this can be loaded in terms of skin tone. I am no genetics expert but I know dark skinned parents can have white passing children, like Lional Richie and Nicle Richie. It's up to you to see if this is going to take you out of the story or not.

Undecided amount of chapters

Chapter 1: You meet your first commander, his family, and your new walking partner

Chapter 2: Your first ceremony, and you see something you aren’t supposed to.

Chapter 3: Everything is not as it seems in either Miller household.

Chapter 4: it’s smut.

Flashback Bonus Chapter: Insight into Tommy, Angela, and Joel's relationship.

Chapter 5: Joel takes you somewhere special. Tommy is involved.

Bonus Chapter: Tommy and Angela

Chapter 6: Gina gets what’s coming.

Chapter 7: Tommy, Joel, OfJoel and Angela explore

Finale (part 1): Ellie gets caught.

Finale (Part 2): Joel fixes it

If you are interested, please comment or say so in a Reblog! Rebloging a masterlist is super helpful to get a series off the ground well!

Thank you so much for your support!

[legobiwan]

More thoughts because I apparently need to draft an entire backstory before I can write a "drabble" (which will definitely not be a drabble), aka, more lore ideas for a show that's already been picked over with a fine-tooth comb a million times, but here we are, years late, Starbucks in hand, as the old meme goes.

At the end of the whole Weirdmaggedon fiasco, Ford makes his hilariously inept proposition for him and Stan to go sailing the Arctic (Ford's heart was in the right place, but this is not how you want to introduce the possibility of fulfilling your childhood dream to your estranged and traumatized brother of 30+ years).

Anyway, Ford's lack of social skills aside, we know the general location of where they're heading from Ford's fancy-pants watch.

Now, they have a few options to get to the Spooky in the Arctic.

Take the Panama Canal

Take the Northwest Passage

Start their trip from the East Coast

Option 1: The Panama Canal, aka, a legitimate, if unlikely idea

While private vessels can cross the canal, it looks like the cost of doing so runs about $2500, maybe not an issue for the Pines twins by the end of the show, but in addition to this, crossing the Canal requires 4 linemen, who Stan and Ford would have to hire. My instinct says they wouldn't be so interested in this, at first. Maybe Ford's fixation on the Arctic was just an excuse, but given his canonical enthusiasm, I doubt he would want to deviate too far from that course. Likely the Stan twins come back later do the Canal, on their way back to Oregon. Maybe.

Option 2: The Northwest Passage, aka Death

A route through the Arctic has been the dream of many an explorer for centuries. In recent times, mostly due to global warming, the Northwest Passage has become a sliver of a option to get from West to East. Territorial and political disputes aside, it's still a wildly unsafe option, and one I imagine Ford would love to give a go at, considering all the lore surrounding the Franklin Expedition. Stan, however, would vote this down immediately. He'd like for him and his brother to live to see sixty. And not resort to cannibalism. At least not immediately.

Option 3: Setting Off From Jersey, aka, You Can Go Home Again (But Not For Too Long)

Our final option is for the Pines twins to set off on their adventure from the good old East Coast. Aside from the narrative symmetry, it's also the most practical option. This leaves us with some tantalizing loose ends. Do Stan and Ford build their boat in Oregon and then haul it cross-country? (And what a trip that would be). Or would they have it shipped and meet it later? (Realistic, but boring). Or maybe they go back East and build/order/buy the boat there. And by there, I do feel like there's no other place they could go through with this idea than Jersey. Now, they can't go from the major ports (the Port Authority Ports of New York and New Jersey, which are mainly located in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Newark, and...Bayonne). But! There are a bevy of slips and marinas up and down the Jersey coastline, perfect places to build/buy/refurbish a vessel (and a relationship). A place to leave a lifetime of ill-will behind and start anew.

This makes me think about Stan and Ford, back in Jersey after all that time, probably not too far from where they grew up. It would be a wonderful setting to explore some kind of character piece (especially if they go on some of bonkers road trip to get there) and narratively, it just fits too well.

There's no real thesis to this analysis, aside from the idea that Stan and Ford likely began their journey in the exact place they ended it so long ago. As I said, narrative symmetry and all that jazz.

[bengiyo]

An Apology to Ossan's Love and The Novelist

I'm writing this post today as a formal apology to both Ossan's Love and The Novelist for avoiding them in 2018-2019 due to general negative fandom takes about them. Both shows are great, and I should have watched them six years ago.

I recently watched the Pornographer series thanks to @lurkingshan burning some of her coupons to make me properly engage with the series. In that series I found one of the most compelling expressions of internalized homophobia I’ve ever seen. Rio was not only cut off from being sexual with other people, but he felt like he couldn’t even be a proper man.

Later, in Mood Indigo, we got to see the messed-up way Rio became an erotic novelist but also finally seemed to connect with an important part of himself. He also found a mentor who, despite his proclivities, became an important paternal figure to Rio.

Finally, in Playback, Rio finally faced his own insecurities and accepted that Haruhiko loves him and reciprocated it. At every stage of this story, they are able to communicate so much of their story through the sex that’s happening. We’re applauding depictions of sex happening in the genre now that this series was doing half a decade ago.

I decided to give Ossan’s Love a second try when I saw @isaksbestpillow getting so excited about the second season and providing context for the original show. With Ossan’s Love, I understand why people might have bounced off this series right away. A lot of folks don’t enjoy the way the Japanese do comedy, Haruta is intentionally unlikeable at the beginning, and I’ve seen concerns about the boss either being a predator or that his feelings would be treated as a joke.

Thankfully, I tend to enjoy Japanese comedy and found the show hilarious! I was laughing out loud almost every single episode because of multiple characters, but most especially Yoshida Kotaro as the boss. This show generated so much of its comedy from the core characterization of each character, so every joke landed so smoothly for me.

Something I really liked about this show was that it never said we were wrong for disliking Haruta for being a mess and a slob. He cannot take care of himself, and he barely gets better at it before the end of the show. I like that Maki breaking up with him didn’t make him suddenly straighten up his ways about this and become a fully-functioning housekeeper, but he did get better about doing some chores even as the chief started taking care of him. Haruta isn’t the easiest character to like on the domestic front, but he is good at his job and he is a kind character. I like that you have to figure out why these guys like the mess that is Haruta, because I like the audience has to think about what in men that gay people find attractive. Is that a rosy-eyed read? Yes. I don’t are.

As for the boss, he never uses his position over Haruta, and they’re also in sales. It’s not as egregious to me as it would feel in other positions. I also like that his attraction to Haruta isn’t a joke, but the fact that he’s older and maybe isn’t speaking the language of the youth is very funny. He’s an extremely endearing character and I love Kurosawa Musashi.

So, this is my apology to both of these shows for letting negative fan opinions stop me from facing these shows properly. Both of them were great. I’m currently working through the Ossan’s Love: In the Sky season to get to the movie and new show.

[moni-logues]

Kintsugi 15

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 6.8k

Content: references to self-harm, description of self-harm scars, some chat about self-harm; oral sex (m. and f. receiving), fingering, protected sex

A/N: I said I'd make it clear, so let's do that: IT'S THE END! THE FINAL ONE!! THE LAST CHAPTER! IT'S DONE!!! IT'S FINISHED!!! NO MORE!!! NO MAS!!!! FINIT!!!!! 끝!!!! 끝!!!! 끝!!!!

I was so relieved to finish this yesterday and thought I would be glad more than anything to post this and finally (FINALLY!!!) bring the series to a close, but I honestly do also feel kind of sad it's over. We've been together over a year now, these characters and me; I've been actually writing them for a year but they first popped into my head 18 months ago. And now we're at the end.

Huge thank you to everyone who has beta'd for me, inc. for this chapter @quarter-life-crisis2 and @here2bbtstrash, @minttangerines, @blog-name-idk, and Amethyst

Thank you to everyone who has left comments and come along on this journey with me; it has meant SO much to me to have your investment in and enthusiasm for this story. It has made it so rewarding to tell and I hope you like their ending.

Without further ado...

Chapter Fourteen | Masterlist | Bonus Drabble 1

Chapter Fifteen - Spring

Chapter Fifteen - Spring 

You rested your head gently against the window, watching the people come and go. The cherry blossoms had fallen already, gathered in gutters and collected in corners. You were always sad to see them go, but this year, you felt like they had given you something. Summer, of course, as always: the heat, the sun, the long days, the blessed relief of an ice-cold drink and even colder air-conditioning. This year, the cherry blossoms had brought you something else. Truly like confetti, they had blown around you, whirled around you, celebrating your first week of From Now On.  

You didn’t say that you were getting ahead of yourself. Not this time. Because you weren’t that anxious about it, as much as that surprised you. You had all the anticipation of your first day at school with none of the nerves. The cherry blossoms had gone but they hadn’t left a hole; you couldn’t feel their absence because your life felt abundant. Last year, when you had watched them bloom and fall and fade away, you had been empty. All the joy they usually brought you couldn’t touch the sides of your despair. It hurt more to see them ushering in spring when you felt stranded alone in winter. But now you weren’t alone. Not even close. 

It was a fairly mild day, just the cool side of hot, and still. You had been impatient and got ready early, hence the sitting and staring. Yoongi wasn’t due for another five minutes, but you’d been there for twenty already. You imagined you might see him on his approach to your building and get to observe him, unnoticed. You wondered what he was doing right now – driving? In a taxi? On the subway? Was he already on his feet, close to you? Was he nervous? You thought he would be. His shyness recently reminded you of when you first met, those tentative overtures of friendship, the thrill you felt when he opened himself up to you. 

It was not unlike the thrill you felt now, waiting for him to pick you up for your very first date.  

When he was due in no less than two minutes, you stood and moved to your mirror. You had, initially, planned to wear something that you considered sexier – that is to say, more form-fitting, a little more scandalous, a dress that showed off a little more of what your mother gave you – and then you changed your mind. You didn’t need to do that, because Yoongi already knew. He had already seen what lay beneath and it was all for him now anyway. So you dressed a little more comfortably, in a dress with a little more give, a little more fabric and flounce. You looked cute; you wanted Yoongi to think you looked cute.  

Then, as you always did, you heard his footsteps. 

“Babe!” you cried, leaning out of your door to see him coming from the end of the corridor.  

But you almost didn’t manage to say anything at all because, whilst you had expected Yoongi, you hadn’t expected Yoongi in a suit, holding flowers. It stopped you short; you had been about to run out to him, jump into his arms, do something silly. Instead, you were flustered, grinning at him from your doorway, your heart going like the clappers and your blood roaring in your ears because god-fucking-damn, had he always been that handsome? 

“No!” he called back. “Go back inside! What are you doing?” 

What were you doing? Short-circuiting, a little. His hair was still long and you imagined it twisted between your fingers, soft and pullable; he was smiling, even as he scolded you, all his little teeth on display. You had always liked a man in a suit – you must have said it a thousand times – but you had not been prepared for how much you liked this man in a suit. You were going to have to get some kind of grip if you were going to make it through dinner.  

“I’m saying hello!” you called back, a little too loudly now that he was closer. “I was going to run out to meet you!” 

“Get back inside! I’m supposed to be picking you up! I need to knock on your door!” 

Truthfully, Yoongi would have loved to have you run out of your apartment and into his arms, even if he’d tumbled, you’d stumbled, you’d both fallen to the floor in a bumped, bruised heap. He’d have loved to have thrown all caution to the wind and run away with you. But all of that was still overwhelming, far too much good for a boy who still thought he was bad, and there was a process to be followed, procedure. He was clinging to that. Like a life raft.  

Yoongi had practised. In as much as you can practise speaking to a friend without actually speaking to them. He had forgotten, in all his anxiety about dating you, about being with you, being seen by you, that you were his friend. He’d had these feelings for you from the very beginning and they had never paralysed him like he felt they were now. He knew sex was not the (only) answer, that sooner or later, he was going to have to remember how to act around you. So he called each of his friends in turn to hang out with them, to remind himself, firstly, that he had them, that he was likable; secondly, that he enjoyed their company—he enjoyed company in general, more than he would ever let on; thirdly, that he could be good company: he got a laugh out of every one of them. That had to count for something.  

And he bought you flowers. Because they would provide a good distraction in case all of these remembrances fell out of his head the second he saw you. And because he wanted to, because that’s what you should do when you take someone out on a date. He knew you liked tulips and it was tulip season. It felt right. And it released a little of his impulse to shower you with things, to buy things for you and haemorrhage cash to make him seem worth it.  

For the longest time, money had been all he had. He had laughed out loud in his therapist’s office when he said that because, for the longest time, money was all he didn’t have. The not-having of money was the very thing that defined his life and set him on this path; it was the bedrock beneath the biggest of his life’s decisions. And then it became all he had. All he had to offer. He was still learning that maybe there were other things, too. 

You did as you were told and shut the door, palms pressed against it as you listened to your heart and tried to make it slow. Then you waited six seconds until you heard his first knock. 

“Oh my god, hi!” you exclaimed. “I had no idea you were here!” 

Yoongi pretended he wasn’t grinning and shot you a look. 

“Shut up,” he replied. “I bought you these.” 

Tulips. Your favourite flower. You didn't remember ever telling Yoongi that, but maybe he just knew. They were another reason that April was your favourite time of year. Seoul Forest was full of them, hundreds, thousands of them blanketing the banks. There was a rainbow of colour in every direction; tall heads on sturdy stems barely touched by breezes, swaying like a choir. It was like a pilgrimage; you went every year. Maybe this year, you would take Yoongi.   

“They’re beautiful, thank you.” 

You took them from him, not bothering to try to restrain your smile from splitting your face in half, and leant in to kiss him. Then you stopped. 

“Are we allowed to kiss?” you asked, one inch from his face. Then you moved away and started looking in cupboards for a vase you weren’t sure you owned.  

Yoongi looked confused.  

“Y’know, kissing on a first date?” 

He still looked confused. Then you remembered. You laughed. 

“Oh, of course, that’s right. You’re Mr Fucks on a First Date, aren’t you?” 

You expected him to be surprised; you hoped he would be a little flustered, hoped you would get to see that pink creep onto his cheeks in a way that was just too cute. Instead, he grinned and you felt your own cheeks heat. 

“Is that a promise?” he asked and your stomach swooped.  

You had found a vase, tipped flower food into it, and were gently arranging the stems. You abandoned them in favour of moving closer him, then a little closer, slowly closer, until your lips were almost on his.  

“Cheeky,” you muttered, eyes flicking down to his lips, amaranth pink and just a little pouty. You bit your own. 

Yoongi hummed. 

“So is that a yes?” 

“Only if you play your cards right.” 

You dragged your eyes up and slowly pressed a kiss to his mouth. His hands settled on your hips and you couldn’t stop yours from reaching up, tangling one in his hair, using the other to rake through the dark locks you hoped he never cut. It wasn’t exactly the kind of grip you needed to get, but every atom of your body was asking for more. It was intoxicating to be kissed by him. 

It was Yoongi who broke from you (you did not have the same level of restraint), his mouth lifting in a grin as he nodded his head slightly towards the counter, where your tulips stood in their vase. 

“Did I mention I got you flowers?” 

“You might need to tell me one more time.” 

You weren’t nervous. Not at all. On the one hand, you felt like you should be, because it was Yoongi and this felt enormous. When you stood back and looked at it, it was huge. He was one of your two (2) friends in this world and you were ruining your friendship good and proper. You could still remember the sharp-toothed despair that wound around you like a strait-jacket after what happened with Sungbin; you remembered the suffocating heartbreak of San leaving you. You knew that it could happen here. There wasn’t a guarantee that Yoongi was The One, that you were The One for Yoongi. It should have scared you.  

But it didn’t. It was too hard to be anxious sitting across from him at dinner, as if you hadn’t sat and done this very thing with him dozens of times before. It was impossible to worry about whether or not he liked you when he looked at you like that, when he smiled in that way that you had always suspected was just for you. You knew he liked you because he was here. He had asked for this date and bought you flowers and he was laughing and teasing and being exactly the person you knew him to be. That didn’t make you nervous.  

Yoongi had picked the restaurant carefully. Not too fancy, not too quiet, not too busy, not too empty, not too casual. He had spent a great many hours trawling the internet for reviews and photos and listings. He wasn’t usually this obsessive, but so much about it all had felt out of his control and this was in it. So he was going to get it right. 

Sitting across from you, he knew he needn’t have bothered. Because he knew you didn’t really care. He wasn’t even sure, sometimes, if you knew what you were eating, because you barely stopped talking to shove it in. You spoke around the food in your mouth and whirled your chopsticks around as you gestured. You picked things off his plate and dropped pieces of your own food onto it. You had this way of creating a world around yourself, such that he forgot where he was; he forgot there was anyone else around, anything else to think about. And he realised he could have taken you anywhere and it would have been just exactly this good. Because it was you. 

“Do you want to go for a drink or something? I looked up a couple of bars not far from here,” Yoongi said as he led you, your hand in his, from the restaurant. 

You leant up against him, shook your head and pouted. 

“No?” 

You shook your head again. 

“Ice-cream?” 

Not that either. 

“Ok... Do you want to go home?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Yoongi seemed surprised and you saw his eyes dim and realised—too slowly, clumsily for too much wine—that you had not exactly said what you meant. 

“I want to go home with you, please,” you clarified, still pouting up at him. 

“Oh.” 

It took Yoongi a couple of seconds to recalibrate, then he smiled down at you with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Miss Fucks on a First Date, is it?” 

You punched him playfully in the arm and he didn’t bother to act like it hurt.  

“Do you want a drink?” Yoongi offered as you slipped off your shoes inside his apartment. 

You shrugged. You would have one if he wanted, but you didn’t need one. You felt lush and warm and relaxed enough already. And truthfully, you were at home now, in the privacy of his apartment; you didn’t want to waste a minute with your mouth on anything that wasn’t him. 

You kissed him, soft at first, because you did want to fuck on your first date, but you weren’t an animal; you had some patience. Or, that’s what you thought as you pressed your lips against his, but the thought washed away like writing on the sand as soon as you tasted him. All your impatience, all your greed, all your excitement came rushing forward, into the fray, a tsunami of feeling, all good, all for him, all surging through you like a stampede. 

“I never,” you started, interrupting yourself with another kiss, one more. “I never want to stop kissing you.”  

“Then don’t.” 

You moaned into his mouth and pressed your body against his, suddenly too warm, hot, the fabric of your dress burning where it brushed your skin. You pushed Yoongi’s jacket off his shoulders and pulled at the knot of his tie. He laughed against your lips and pulled back. 

“You know you’re just making it tighter?” 

You whined and let him take over, deftly undoing the damage you’d done and loosening it properly, pulling it through the collar of his shirt and dropping it on the floor. You thought that was quite long enough to not be kissing, to not be held so tight against him, you could practically feel his heartbeat in your chest, but he held you back.  

When he started walking away from you, you rushed after him, grabbing his hand as he opened his bedroom door. 

“Cherry?” he called softly, padding over to the bed, where she was curled up on the pillow. “You have to get the fuck out of here, ok?”  

She ‘mrowed’ at him and rolled onto her back, exposing her exquisitely soft underbelly for strokes, purring when Yoongi put his hand on her. You thought to yourself that you would quite like to be the one purring under his touch, but had to accept that being jealous of a cat was insane, even for you.  

“Come on,” he said encouragingly, lifting her up and walking away from you yet again, taking her out to the living room and placing her on the sofa.  

“You mean you don’t even give her a free show?” you asked when he returned to the bedroom. 

Yoongi’s face flattened and he looked at you, pretending not to be amused.  

“Would you like to fuck in front of my cat?” 

You jumped up and skipped over to him with a giggle. 

“No, thank you!”  

You wrapped your arms around his neck and wasted no time reconnecting your mouths. Yoongi, now the cat was out of the room and the door firmly shut, seemed as impatient as you were, his hands sliding under the skirt of your dress and up, slipping beneath your underwear and squeezing at your backside. His mouth moved to your jaw and then your neck, sucking soft kisses into your skin, holding you firmly close to him. 

You were impatient because you wanted more, more, and even more of him and you wanted it now. But you also wanted each moment to last. Every time his lips met your skin, they felt softer; every time his tongue rolled over yours, he tasted sweeter; every time his hands squeezed, you felt your heart race a little faster. You wanted him immediately and you also wanted it to last forever. You couldn’t get enough of him. 

He moved his hands upwards, outside your dress, and made light work of the buttons at the back that had honestly taken you forever to do up by yourself. You hummed. 

“You’re good at that.” 

“Hm?” 

“Good with your fingers.” 

He chuckled and flicked you lightly with one hand whilst his other freed a button from its clasp.  

“Is that right?” 

“Shut up, you know what I meant.” 

“I know exactly what you meant.”  

You shivered, even in the warm room, in the bright light of the sun streaming in through the window, when he pulled your dress off and you let it pool on the floor. You didn’t have time to be self-conscious, even if you might have otherwise, because Yoongi was on you, pushing you towards the bed until you were flat on your back, his mouth exploring your body as if he’d forgotten every inch of it in the last week. He hooked his fingers around your underwear and tugged down; you shuffled in response, lifting your hips and wriggling out of it in a way that was less than dignified, and less than efficient, but you didn’t want Yoongi to move off you, didn’t want to sit and then stand so you could do the job properly.  

Naked, again, beneath Yoongi, fully-clothed, you held tight to his shirt collar and hoped he would let you know what he wanted. You wanted to let him lead. 

And lead he did. He pulled one of your hands to his shirt buttons and you experimentally popped one open. He led your hand to the next one. You worked your way to the bottom, pulling the ends from his trousers, kissing him: his cheek, his jaw, his neck. He wouldn’t look at you and you could see the red on his ears; if you pressed your hand against his chest, you could feel the thump of his heart like a hammer.  

“Baby,” you whispered as you slowly slid your hands under his shirt, his body warm against them, soft, not smooth.  

He gave no reply and you nudged him gently with your nose. 

“Baby, look at me.”  

It took seconds that felt like minutes before his eyes met yours. They were guarded, unsure, a little bit afraid. You kissed his lips and smiled. 

“We can stop here,” you reminded him but he shook his head.  

“Go on.” 

“Are you sure?” 

He nodded but his eyes were elsewhere again.  

You pushed your hands along his chest, around his shoulders, forcing the shirt to fall to the bed. You let your hands see him first, your lips still employed on his neck. He was soft and warm and the dip of his spine slightly damp with sweat. You felt them before you saw them, laddering down his arms, criss-crossing his chest, a handful near his hip that were rough and scabbed, still healing.  

It hadn’t occurred to you until that moment that you had never seen Yoongi in a T-shirt. That he always wore long sleeves. You hadn’t noticed. Now you knew why. 

Yoongi’s face was pink now, a little pained, uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Yoongi wanted to burst into flames and drown himself both at once. He didn’t dare open his eyes because he knew he’d not be able to see for tears. He was holding his breath, waiting for something he desperately didn’t want to happen, even though it always had. The shock, the disgust, the reluctance, the holding at arm’s length. 

You took his hand and kissed his palm, kissed the single, thick, raised scar on his wrist and all the smaller ones that followed. You turned him around, guiding him gently so he lay against the headboard, so you could kiss him all over, each and every one of them.  

“Babe,” you called to him, crawling up his body until you hovered over him, resting on your hands.  

Then you lowered yourself on top of him, skin to skin, and stroked through his hair. 

“Hey,” you tried again and Yoongi nodded slightly. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

“Are you ok?” 

He nodded again.  

“Gonna look at me and say that?”  

When he looked at you, it was a Yoongi you had never seen before. Shy and defeated and embarrassed and sad and there was something hurt in his eyes that almost made you angry – because no one was allowed to hurt him. That wasn’t supposed to happen.  

You kissed him once and then again and he cleared his throat lightly. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Are you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yoongi...” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Do you want to stop?” 

“No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Some of the hesitation in his face left him then and he looked at you. 

“Have you changed your mind?”  

It was a little defensive, the barest hint of a challenge in his voice. 

“No,” you answered. “Why would I have changed my mind?”  

He looked away again, not answering, though you didn’t need him to. You both knew. But that would never have changed your mind. He could have been covered in slime or secretly a lizard-person and you’d have been just as soft for him as you were now.  

Though you were glad that he was neither.   

“It doesn’t bother me,” you continued. “Well, it does--” You noticed the clench of his jaw-- “because I know what it takes to do it...” You traced your finger lightly over the scars on his arm. “I know exactly how it feels and I hate that you know, too. I wish I could take it all away from you. So that bothers me. Because I don’t ever want you to feel like it’s something you have to do.  

“But-” you pushed yourself up a little, sitting on his lap and pressing your hands to his chest- “actually, also, they’re proof you’re still here, y’know?” Your hand circled his wrist and you pressed your thumb against the worst scar there. “You might not have been. Any one of these could have been the last one, right? But they weren’t. It’s like... every time you do it, it’s a little bit of effort towards staying alive because there’s something worse you could do but you’re not doing that. So it’s proof. Proof that you’re here and trying and you’ve been trying and I, for one, am very glad you are still here. More than glad.” 

He didn’t reply. You shrugged. 

“And you’ve seen mine. My body is not exactly unscathed.”  

“There’s nothing wrong with your body.” His voice was stronger, more like his own. 

“And there’s nothing wrong with yours.” 

Yoongi had to get out from underneath you, had to stop you looking at him, at least for a moment. He knew that it had to happen, that you had to know, but this was too much. Too much of what he didn’t want and not enough of what he did. He didn’t want to talk about it or think about it. His chest was tight and he felt unsteady and he so badly just wanted to get back to you: you, naked in this bed, with him. 

He sat up and his arms came around you and you relished the feeling of your skin on his, nothing but warmth between you. He kissed you, insistent this time, impatient again. He wanted you on his tongue, in his hands, enveloping him. He wanted to serve himself up on a plate for you, kneel and kiss your feet; he wanted to lose himself completely in the sound of you coming undone.  

You shuffled off him and fumbled at his belt, at his zip, pushing them to the floor. You barely noticed the skin there, that was really more scar than skin; you didn’t see the light lines and the dark ones, crossing and re-crossing, thickening, fading, all over. Because it didn’t matter to you. That he wasn’t fresh out of the box, perfect and unblemished. No one was. And you shared a pain; the pain that led to these blemishes, these marks, these scars, it was yours, too.  

So you didn’t see them as they were un-covered, as he stepped out of his clothes, as you took his cock in your hand. Hot and heavy, you pumped slowly, but Yoongi had other ideas.  

He lay you on the bed and spread your thighs, trailing kisses up one side and down the other. You shivered when his hot breath hit your core and again when his mouth met your lips, his tongue licking through your folds. The pleasure felt brand new as he drank you in and you felt the exact right amount of drunk.  

If you’d been sober, this would have been too quick; you’d have been too easy, too alert. It would all have been over too soon. But the alcohol blurred the edges, dulled your senses just enough to allow you to luxuriate in it: the soft, wet pad of his tongue brushing over your clit, then hard as it pushed inside you; the press of his kiss-plump lips, their seal as he sucked at your swollen bud. Like swimming through champagne, everything was fizzing and golden.  

The sun hit Yoongi’s head, so bright it made his black hair brown and it shone. You tangled a fist in it, pulling his mouth closer, tipping your hips and he flicked his eyes towards you. They were deep and glazed and only half-open, his tongue still pressed against you. You whined and rolled your hips, then did it again and he let you rut against his mouth until all your pleasure was coiling tight, down into a heavy ball in your core.  

Then he pulled back and shifted his weight, lifting a hand from your hip. 

“Good with my fingers, right?” he said, a lopsided grin on his face, mouth sticky and shining.  

“Y-e...eess.” 

You answer was punctuated with the slip of those fingers inside you, and your breath hitched by the curling of those fingers, the pressing of them against your front wall. Yoongi lowered himself again and put his mouth back around your clit, the suction hard and sure. You were squirming now, all your muscles tightening, everything drawing down, deep into your core before bursting forward in a wet rush of heat.  

You sighed as your limbs flopped against the mattress and your chest heaved. Yoongi wiped his mouth and knelt back, similarly breathless. He took a hand to his cock and squeezed lightly at the base, hissing slightly as he did.  

You slithered off the bed, to your knees, and tapped Yoongi’s knee, asking him to turn towards you, reaching for him, for his dark, heavy cock, your mouth growing wet at the mere thought of it.  

Yoongi looked hesitant. 

“You don’t have to,” he said. 

You tipped your head to the side and frowned. 

“But... I want to, though?” 

He hesitated a second longer and you thought he was going to say no, but he turned and you did nothing to hide your enthusiasm. You pressed a kiss to the tip and let your tongue lick at the pre-cum dripping from it. Yoongi grunted and you grinned because it had actually been a long time since you’d had this kind of fun. 

It had been a long time for Yoongi, too, since he’d had his dick in anyone’s mouth. He couldn’t even remember the last time. He’d forgotten the heat of it, the softness and strength of a tongue, the looking down at them looking up. It was frankly criminal, he thought, that you could be so cute with a cock in your mouth. It was every bit as good as he might have dreamt, as hot and wet as he might have imagined. You pushed forward and he could feel the back of your throat, see the tears sparkling in your eyes, caught on your lashes. 

He had to stop looking. He tipped his head back and studied the ceiling. He clenched his fists and tried to slow his breathing down because, god, it had been so long and it was you. It was you and you had kissed him all over and you were looking up at him with wet stars in your eyes and your mouth was doing all that to him and he closed his eyes. Then you moaned with the tip of his cock at the very back of your mouth and he almost lost all control. 

He swore, his throat tight, his thighs twitching. He placed a hand on your head and pushed back your hair, tugging ever so slightly to pull you off him. You wiped your mouth and grinned up at him; it was such a sweet, filthy gesture that he almost came again. 

“You ok?” you asked and Yoongi fell to his knees. He answered with a kiss, licking into your mouth, pulling you against him. 

“Yes,” he answered, mumbled against your lips. “Want to fuck you now.” 

“Yes, please.”  

And it was everything you had wanted. Everything you had forgotten sex could be. Yoongi held you close and fucked you slow and you kissed him and caressed him and the world could have fallen apart outside and you would neither have noticed nor cared.  

There was something tearing inside Yoongi and he didn’t know what to do about it. Because you were holding him tight, pulling him so close to you, kissing him and moaning into his mouth and no one had wanted him this close, this soft, this slow for a long time. Ever. He had tried to pace himself before, tried not to rush through it but it was a blur to him now, the frenzy and the nerves and the uncertainty of it all rendering it choppy and indistinct. Whereas this was full high-definition. This, you, the way you touched him and looked at him, the way you said his name... it was like a dream. Like something he never thought he would have. The luxury of your warm body so close to his; the indulgence of your lips against his and your eyes sparkling like you had never seen a sweeter sight than him. That you wanted him. That you wanted him and let him know it. That you wanted all of him, as you ran your hands down his arms, as you squeezed at his chest and pressed your hand against his back, pulling him closer.  

Because it wasn’t just physical. It wasn’t just the thrust of Yoongi’s hips, his cock buried deep in your wet cunt; it wasn’t just the slap and slick of damp skin and arousal; it wasn’t just the pleasure you felt in your core expanding outwards, the heat in your blood, and tingling in your toes. It was all-encompassing; it was everything. It was this person who knew you, all the bad bits as well as the good, knew you and saw you and held you like you were precious. It was feeling safe and cherished and valued. It was knowing that your feelings were reflected, returned, reciprocated. It was the sweetness of finding someone who lit you up and being able to light them up the same way.  

When you lay, side by side, spent and sated, you felt like you were glowing. You rolled onto your side, into Yoongi, as he rolled into you and you kissed him again, for the hundredth time or thousandth, it still wasn’t enough. 

You slept soundly, without dreaming, without waking, until the sun was high in the sky again the following morning. You turned onto your back, throwing an arm behind you as you went, expecting it to hit Yoongi next to you.  

But he wasn’t there. You rubbed your face and pushed yourself into a seated position, assuming he was in the bathroom and would return momentarily.  

Then minutes passed and he was nowhere to be seen. You stood and scanned the floor for your underwear. Your dress was already picked up and placed over the back of a chair; Yoongi’s clothes, you could only assume, he had put in the laundry already. Your underwear was not hiding under your dress. You dropped to the floor and onto your hands and knees, to look down under the bed. 

“Aha!” 

“Aha, what?” 

You hit your hand on the bedframe as you quickly pulled it back and span to face Yoongi, standing in the door with an iced coffee in each hand and a paper bag hanging from his wrist. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, bemused but charmed. 

You twirled your knickers on one finger.  

“Thought I’d lost them. They were under the bed.” 

Yoongi merely ‘ah’ed and nodded, placing breakfast on the dressing table and swapping his jeans for light pyjama trousers.  

“Did you bring me coffee?” you asked sweetly, knowing the answer. 

“And pastries.”  

You jumped to your feet and gratefully accepted his offerings, taking a long draw from the straw of a coffee so sweet and milky it might as well not be coffee anymore. 

“Do you know how much sugar is in those, by the way?” 

“Yep! That’s why they’re so delicious!” 

“They’ll kill you.” 

You shrugged. 

“Oh well. I died doing what I loved: drinking sugary coffee.” 

Yoongi chuckled and stepped forward until you were within arm's reach. You could feel his hesitation, so you took it from him, stepping into his body and offering him a kiss.  

“Thank you.”  

“Do you want to get back into bed?” 

You couldn’t imagine anything you wanted more.  

* 

You could hear something out in the hall, something maybe like a cat’s purr, but also not a cat’s purr. Some sort of buzzing, intermittent enough that you told yourself you were imagining it at first. But it just kept coming. 

“Do you hear that?” you interrupted Yoongi to ask and you held your hand up for silence as you listened for it.  

A jarring, quiet kind of noise.  

“Sounds like a phone vibrating,” Yoongi offered.  

“Oh fuck!” 

You scrambled, ungracefully, out of bed, still in just your knickers, and found your phone, buzzing against your keys, half falling out of your bag.  

Taehyung.  

“Hi, baby!” you greeted, overly cheerful because you hadn’t checked the time and you were almost certain he was calling because you were late. 

You had planned to have brunch and a debrief. You had forgotten all about it. 

“When are you coming home? I’m bored.” 

You pulled your phone away from your ear and, upon noting the time, realised that you weren’t late at all. Not even close. 

“What do you want, Teddy? I’m seeing you later.” 

“I know, but I’m bored now and you’re a dirty, little stop-out.” 

“Entertain yourself! I’ll be home when I’m home. I'm not leaving now just because you’re bored.” 

He sighed dramatically at the other end of the line. 

“So I suppose it’s love, then, is it?” 

The word made your heart skip a beat and you didn’t turn around, just in case Yoongi was looking at you.  

“Maybe.” 

“You sicken me.” 

“Fuck off. You’re happy for me.” 

“Yes, I am, babygirl. I’m very happy for you but I’m also very lonely and bored. Can’t you just come home a bit early? Yoongi will still be there tomorrow but I am fading away by the second.” 

“Dying from lack of attention?” 

“Exactly.” 

“I’ll be home when I’m home, Teddybear. Try to make it until then.” 

“Alright, but you’ll be sorry when I'm gone.” 

“Extremely. Now leave me alone!” 

He heaved another dramatic sigh before hanging up and you skipped back to the bedroom. 

“Everything ok?” Yoongi asked as you settled back in his arms. 

“Teddy’s being needy.” 

“Do you need to go?” 

“Absolutely not!” You snuggled in tighter and pressed your lips to his chest. “Not until the very last minute, please.” 

Love. You thought about the word when you left Yoongi’s apartment very late that morning. You wanted to say it then and there, tell him, but it felt like a lot. It felt like your usual Too Muchness coming back. You had only been on one date. It was a lot of pressure to put on a person and you didn’t want to pressure Yoongi. You didn’t want to push him. You didn’t want to take control and careen this fledging thing straight into a ravine.  

It felt natural. It felt easy. It felt like everything you had wanted. It felt so right that it was maddening to you that it had taken you so long to see it. But you also understood that that had to happen. The time it took you to see Yoongi like you did now was time you spent getting things wrong and hurting and healing the wrong way and then the right way and you knew that this, this happiness you had that made you glow, that made your steps feel light, it was a result of that time, that patience. So you didn’t want to rush. Didn't want to push. You would still love him tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that and on and on and on. It could wait. 

* 

Until six days later, when you were sitting on the subway on your way home from work and you snapped. You didn’t want it to wait. You wanted to tell him. And you knew you could. You could say it and he could not and you would survive that. You would understand. And it wouldn’t matter because you knew he was in this, knew he would get there if he wasn’t there already. You chided yourself for waiting at all, because love should never have to wait. Love should be shouted from the rooftops, shouldn’t it? 

So you got off at a different stop and changed lines and you walked as fast as you could to Yoongi’s building and you let yourself in. 

“Babe!” you cried as you hastily kicked off your shoes and rounded the corner into the kitchen, a little out of breath. 

“Are you ok?”  

Yoongi had his apron on, a knife in his hands, vegetables on the chopping board in front of him and it was so sweet, so domestic, a perfect vision of everything you wanted. He was looking at you with concern, as well he might, given you had just burst in, unannounced, in all kinds of a fluster. 

You nodded. 

“Yeah,” you panted. “I just had to tell you. I love you.” You moved closer to him; he put the knife down and wiped his hands on his apron and you held tight to it. “I love you. As in, I am in love with you. I love you so much. And I know, I know, it’s been no time at all and it’s too soon and it’s too quick and you don’t have to say it and I don’t want to put any pressure on but I just want to tell you. I have wanted to tell you and I wasn’t going to because- because all of the above! But I love you and I want you to know that I love you. I’m in love with you, Min Yoongi.”  

He blinked a little and then a bit more. 

“Oh.” 

He sounded surprised and you laughed because you were nervous and because you felt giddy and silly and so in fucking love. You tugged him closer with his apron and kissed him, firmly at first, then softer when he kissed you back and rested his hands on your hips.  

“I love you.” 

He said it quietly, his mouth still close enough to yours that you could feel his lips move with the words. You laughed again and kissed him again and whispered it back to him.  

“I love you.” 

Chapter Fourteen | Masterlist | Bonus Drabble 1

Taglist: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx, @olyd, @diorh0seokie, @thelilbutifulthings, @acquiescence804 

[kinardsevan]

so I’ve been thinking about this for like two days now, and I’m gonna say it. 

I’m fucking bothered. The amount of crap going around right now into relation of Tommy as a character and the rhetoric it’s being equated to is infuriating. Now personally, I try not to speak on things I can’t chiefly relate to (i.e., I’m not a gay male firefighter, so I won’t speak on the reality of living that life), however, I’m highly concerned about the attitude people are giving off in relation to the way that Tommy is undeserving of a redeption arc/is an asshole because of who he was in the past. 

First of all, I want to remind those who would actually take the time to read this: he’s a television character, and in no way does that put Lou in the position of being deserving of any vitriol for the shit he’s had to put up with. Or has it already been so long that we’ve forgotten about the shit Isabel Gillies was put through when Elliot Stabler returned to L&O:SVU (a whopping 5 years ago)? To that end, these actors are just earning a paycheck. They don’t deserve the abuse spewed at them any more than any person who works in retail or food service does because someone makes a small mistake on your bad day.

Further though, I’m concerned by the attitude that there is hatred spewed towards the character of Tommy because of who he WAS. I find it highly unlikely that there’s a single person on this planet that hasn’t forgiven at least one person in their life for some shitty thing they did in the past. To that end: we clearly have seen based off the way s7 went that Hen and Chimney made that choice at some point. Does it excuse previous behavior? No. I don’t know that when you forgive someone that excusing bad behavior is the intention. However, you give them room to grow and flourish. To that end, the arc that Lou has been given for Tommy is clearly within those lines. 

None of this is to say that what the character of Tommy did was okay or acceptable. However, I’d venture to guess that if we’d never seen the recurrence of Tommy Kinard on the show in s7 (and most likely s8), no one would bat an eyelash at the mention of his character, because in terms of how his storyline was wrapped up in s2, things are left on good terms. However, because he’s now Buck’s love interest for the moment and possibly forseable future, he’s got all kinds of problems. He has all kinds of toxic behavior. Nevermind the fact that this rhetoric comes from the same people who fail to also concede that Eddie, the preferred option as a LI for Buck for a large crowd, also has his own toxic behaviors. Hell, he even has his own toxic behaviors towards Buck. But you don’t see those who appreciate Tommy as a character pointing fingers at those issues. 

If you want to call me toxic because I’m not afraid to point all of this out, so be it. It is canonically unfair to tell someone that they are a toxic person because of who they used to be, and not the person they are today. The attitude towards “Tommy blame Gerrard for his behavior”, as though the character is supposed to resolve every issue he previously created with other characters in the limited screen time he was given, given the contract extension. Although, something tells me that even if Tim & Co had put the effort into making the scenes all about that instead of devoting it to the point of his character development (Buck and Tommy’s relationship), people would still find something to complain about. 

I’m not saying you have to like Tommy with Buck. I’m not even saying you have to like Tommy, period. But it’s arguable to say that if you’re going to decide not to like him, first, Lou is not the person to blame (someone else very well could’ve played the character and yall would be doing the same thing). And second, maybe find some realistic reasoning behind not liking him other than the fact that it makes Evan unavailable to chase after Eddie (because some people clearly aren’t prepared for that discussion). 

~

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART TWO: AFTERMATH

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS STORY IS UNDERGOING A REWRITE. PART ONE IS HERE.

Just as you saw him again, the stranger you met at a bar and then slept with that very same night, the memories of your sexual encounter came back to you. It was a few weeks ago when you had the best sex of your life with a man more than twice your age and you could not get him out of your head ever since.

Until now, you knew nothing about him other than his first name and his address. He told you that this was a one-off encounter so you never bothered him again, respecting his privacy.

That night, you did not do much more than engage in some talk and incredibly passionate sex. This was pretty much it and, unlike you would usually do, you even lied to him. You lied to him about your age and then allowed him to take you home and literally fuck you senseless.

He was kinky and experienced but having a one night stand like this was out of character for you and, if you would have known that you would see him again, you would have handled things differently that night. You would not have slept with him.

You were now back with James who, as usual, was late for class. James, too, was taking this course and he had no idea about your sexual encounter with Cillian. When you slept with Cillian, you and James were taking a break so you never really cheated on him, but still, you felt rather guilty about it. In so far as he was concerned, you were miserable for two weeks when you broke up but this was far from the truth. You were not miserable at all after having met Cillian and now it was this mid forty-year-old man who consumed your thoughts every night and whenever you were intimate with your much younger boyfriend who, due to a lack of experience, could not compete with this stranger in the slightest.

Unlike you, James majored in literature and drama whereas you studied drama and took a major in dance. You shared some lectures with him and this course was one of them, making it even more awkward for you now that you knew who was teaching you.

***

“Cillian Murphy, huh?” you stammered almost silently before pulling up your hoodie. You looked like you had just rolled out of bed and you certainly did not want to be seen like this. Not by him. Not by the man who had been on your mind for days and nights on end.

“Yes. God, look at him! He looks incredible. Can you believe that he is 46 already?’ your friend Lorraine said, causing you to look over at him again. She was not wrong and if she would have known what you did, she would probably be angry with you as, seemingly, she took this class for a reason. She had a crush on him, as had many other girls in your course.

“He does look good” you acknowledged almost silently and, just as you did, you felt a set of warm arms wrap around you from behind.

“Jesus, are all you girls taking this class because of Thomas Fucking Shelby? That is so fucking sad” your boyfriend said loudly before kissing your cheek and Lorraine immediately began to cringe.

“Shh! Shut up James” she said while some of the other female students began to giggle. They sure thought the same way as Lorraine did about your new lecturer and when you pulled out your phone and popped his name into Google, you were not really surprised by the fact that he had such a large following amongst those young girls in your course.

He was rather famous and you were shocked to find out that he had been in several movies and TV shows to date.

“How did I miss that?” you asked yourself but the fact that you never really watch TV did not help your case. You also could not recall the last time you have been to the movies. It must have been six years ago at least, which is when you were a teenager.

Then, of course, there was his theatre work which you should probably have known now that you were studying drama at university, but your passion was not really in classical theatre. You were interested in contemporary work associated to ballet and musicals and took this class simply to further your general acting skills which meant that, being enrolled into Cillian’s class, was not that important to you.

“Do you think it is too late to change my enrolment?” you thus asked your friends who obviously did not know why you were asking that.

“Yes sweety. It is too late to change enrolments. The semester has already started” Lorraine confirmed nonetheless and you sighed deeply in response.

“Fuck” you spat and, just as Lorraine was about to ask you why you wanted to change your enrolment, the school bell rang and it was time for you to enter the lecture hall.

Your friends and several other girls immediately stormed to the front of the room which sat about thirty students at the most. James and yourself however went to the back of the room and the reasons for this were twofold.

For James, it was the fact that he was unprepared. He had not done any of the prescribed readings. And, for you, it was the fact that you did not want to be noticed. You hoped that Cillian would not see or recognise you while, yet, you knew that this was dumb as all of the teachers had a list of enrolments and, usually, teachers of the drama school were collecting some sort of information from their students on the first day.

***

After taking your seat, you absentmindedly glanced up at the clock at the front of the room. Class should have started by now and you wondered whether, perhaps, all of this was a just a bad dream. Maybe a new lecturer had been assigned to you? Or perhaps this rather well-known actor had gotten cold feet and decided that teaching was not for him.

But then, suddenly, you snapped out of your little world as the arts and drama’s school’s principal came walking through the door with Cillian and began the introduction. Her name was Miss Lens and, according to Miss Lens, it was a big deal for the school to have an actor like Cillian Murphy involved in this class.

She introduced Cillian as a veteran in acting on stage which was what this class was all about. It was an on-stage acting class and, since Cillian had performed in several theatrical plays over the years, he was well suited to be a lecturer for it.

“Cillian is here to help you with your on stage acting skills and he will be working with Professor O’Connell to get you up to speed before this years’ auditions for three major plays in Ireland and the UK” Miss Lens then said before running through some housekeeping matters which, ironically, involved a short mention of the school’s class conduct guidelines.

“Now, I will leave you with Mr Murphy, so behave!” Miss Lens then finally said to wrap things up and even Cillian had to laugh when she made this somewhat random statement. Behave? Really?

“Alright, Welcome to PRAC300” Cillian said after Miss Lens had left and before carrying on with a brief introduction of the unit and, after not so long, the first few questions came up, most of which related to some administerial matters.

During those questions, several young students addressed Cillian as Mr Murphy which, somehow, made him sound old and you could not help but laugh when you saw his face each and every time a student called him that.

“Right, listen up! Mr Murphy is my dad so, for god’s sake, please call me Cillian, alright?” was what he said after the fifth question or so, which made everyone laugh and lightened up the mood.

But the mood was not so light for much longer when, suddenly, James rose his arm and asked a question as well and this was when he saw you and you locked your eyes with his.

His chin dropped, his face turned pale and, if you would not have taken a seat so far back in the room, you probably would have heard his heart beat out of his chest by now. He was clearly shocked to see you and immediately became lost for words.

“Uhm, would you please excuse me for a minute” he then said abruptly after ignoring James’s question entirely. He felt sick to the stomach and, although the class had only just started, Cillian had to take a break.

He had to freshen up, clear his head and take a deep breath and this was exactly what he did. He went to the bathroom facilities and splashed his face with some cold water while telling himself to think.

In the end, Cillian determined that he had to get through this class and then assess the situation. He had to talk to you before making a decision and, with that in mind, he returned to the lecture room five minutes later and apologised to the students before carrying on with his class.

During class, you each had to fill in a two-page sheet with things that interest you and a blurb about what you expect to get out of this class. This two-page sheet had to be handed in before you leave for the day and, just as you tried to sneak past Cillian’s desk at the front of the room, he stopped you in your tracks.

“Y/N, hang on” he said quietly as you placed your form on top of the pile on his desk. “Can we talk?” he then whispered and you gave a him a quick but reluctant nod.

“Sure” you whispered back before telling Lorraine and James to go ahead.

“My office, in ten?” Cillian then asked and you nodded again.

“Yes, see you in ten” you whispered before quickly catching up with your friends.

“What was that about? What did he want?” Lorraine immediately asked as you finally caught up with them and you quickly came up with a little white lie.

“He just had a question about my form. I think he inadvertently gave me one rather than two pages to fill out” you explained to Lorraine before telling her and James that you would sit down and fill out the rest of the form now and then drop it to his office. “I will catch up with you later, okay?” you asked and they both nodded.

“Okay babe” James said before kissing you just as Cillian walked past, on the way to his office.

***

“May I come in?” you asked after knocking on Cillian’s office door about ten minutes later and he was quick to wave you inside.

“Yes, and close the door, please” he said and, before he could say anything else, you spoke up quickly.

“For the record, I did not know that you were going to teach this class. If I would have known then I would not have slept with you or, at least, enrolled into a different subject. In fact, I did not even know who you were so I am sorry that this has become awkward for us now” you began to say after having closed the door, but Cillian was quick to cut you off.

“I realised that you did not know about me at the time which I, admittedly, enjoyed for a change. But you do realise that this is a big fucking problem now, right? I did not know that you were attending this class and I wouldn’t have pursued you that night if I had known. So, I too, am sorry” Cillian said worryingly, causing you to laugh.

“You pursued me, huh? I thought it was the other way around” you winked, to which Cillian furrowed his eyebrows.

“Y/N, please. This is serious” he said, but you continued to give him a cheeky grin which was something he seemingly adored and was bothered by all at the same time. “And don’t look at me like this” he thus added, causing you to bite your lip seductively before bursting out in laughter.

“Seriously Cillian, you need to lighten up. None of this will be a problem. Just forget about the one-night stand and move on. As far as I am concerned, nothing ever happened between us” you told him, causing Cillian to shake his head in disbelieve.

“But something did happen between us Y/N and we cannot change that. We slept with each other and I cannot ignore the fact that we had sex when I am teaching you” he said, thinking that you must be out of your mind for thinking that the night you had shared did not matter now that he was your lecturer.

“Well, you will have to forget about it whether you like it or not, because I cannot change my enrolment now. I will lose my funding assistance if I do. Despite, my boyfriend is in the same class and, whilst we had broken up just before you and I slept with each other, I do not want him to know about our one-night stand” you explained, causing Cillian to roll his eyes.

“James McCabe. Yeah. I saw” Cillian chuckled before changing the topic.  “Will it not make things awkward for you though? I mean, if you think back and all…” Cillian asked and you interrupted him quickly.

“Well, the truth is that the sex with you was the best sex I ever had, so yeah, maybe it will be a little awkward at first but I can assure you that I will get over it. After all, it was just sex, right? You said so yourself” you argued and Cillian gave you a quick nod.

“Yes. It was just sex. Nothing more. So, we are good then you think?” Cillian asked and you confirmed that, indeed, he had nothing to worry about. You were mature enough to move on and so was he.

“Yes. We are good. Now, can I go? I have a date, with my boyfriend” you thus said, making it sound as though you no longer cared while watching Cillian cringe.

***

Later that same day, after Cillian had finished up reviewing the introductory papers of his new students, including yours, he met up with his best friend Dermont at a local pub.

As usual, it was buzzing and after they sat down together with a pint a beer, Dermont asked Cillian about his first day at the drama school which he knew was a position he took simply to get his mind of the divorce from Danielle. It was meant to be a break for him, something you to sink his teeth in to.

“My day was interesting” Cillian said and this comment itself rose several other questions.

“Interesting how?” Dermont wanted to know and, since he had known Cillian for over twenty years, he knew that something was not quite right. Something had happened and Cillian eventually opened up to him about his encounter with you.

“Remember Y/N, the woman we met at Temple Bar?” Cillian began to say and Dermont immediately cocked his eyebrows and interrupted him.

“The one you had a one-night stand with?” Dermont said before answering his very own question. “Of course, I fucking remember. You have been talking about this girl nonstop ever since and I keep telling you that you should have asked her for her number because, clearly, she fucked with your head” Dermont laughed but, instead of laughing himself, Cillian sighed with frustration.

“Well, it turns out that she is one of my students” he then blurted out causing Dermont to choke on his beer.

“Bullshit. No way” he said before breaking out in even more laughter than before.

“No, I am serious and I think that I should bring this up with the dean because it is highly inappropriate for me to be teaching this woman. We had sex so I should not be her lecturer. It is morally wrong” Cillian explained but Dermont did not entirely agree with his view.

“Did you talk to her about it?” he thus asked and Cillian confirmed that he did, indeed, speak with you about the situation.

“And what is her take on this?” Dermont then wanted to know.

“Well, she said that it won’t be an issue. She has a boyfriend who, in my opinion, is not suitable for her, but he is also one of my students and I need to be really careful about what I say about him” Cillian explained.

“He is not suitable because you would be more suitable?” Dermont teased in light of Cillian’s observation about James but Cillian sighed again and shook his head.

“No. Fuck. She is in her late twenties man. She is way too young for me. Despite, she is my fucking student now, so nothing will become of this” Cillian made sure to say, causing Dermont to rethink the issue on hand.

“I think that, if she is cool with you being her teacher and you are certain that you can act without bias and teach her without pursuing her, then you should just keep the one-night stand to yourself man. Don’t tell the dean about it because, in the end, this girl is the one who will suffer, not you” Dermont told his friend who gave it some more thought.

“Well, she wants to keep it a secret, so I suppose this could work” Cillian then said, causing Dermont to nod.

“Exactly and, keeping it a secret, is probably in her best interest, so you need to suck it up and deal with it man” Dermont then said just as Cillian spotted a familiar face in the crowd.

***

“Oh for fuck sake” you mumbled as you saw Cillian and Dermont who both had clearly spotted you as well but ignored you nonetheless.

“Look, our lecturer is here too. We should say hello” Lorraine said eagerly causing you to sigh.

“No we should not. We should leave him alone” you told her but both, Lorraine and your friend Nora insisted so, in the end, you excused yourself and told them both that you were heading home.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tag List

@fastfan

@elenavampire21

@dolllol2405

@allie131313

@cilliansangel

@coldbastille

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@cdej6

@kathrinemelissa

@landlockedmermaid77

@crazymar15

@damedomino  

@lauren-raines-x

@miss-bunny19

@skinny-bitch-juice

@odorinana

@cloudofdisney

@weepingstudentfishhorse

@allexiiisss

@geminiwolves

@letsstarsfalling

@ysmmsy

@chlorrox

@tommyshelbypb

@chocolatehalo

@music-lover911

@desperate-and-broken

@mysticaldeanvoidhorse

@peaky-cillian

@lelestrangerandunusualdeetz

@december16-1991

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

@romanogersendgame

@randomfangirl2718

@missymurphy1985

@peakyscillian

@lilymurphy03

@deefigs

@theflamecrystal

@livinginfantaxy

@rosey1981

@hanster1998

@fairypitou

@zozeebo

@kasaikawa

@littleweirdoalien

@sad-huffle-nerd

@theflamecrystal

@0ghostwriter0

@stylescanbeatmyback

@1-800-peakyblinders

@datewithgianni

@momoneymolife

@mcntsee

@janelongxox

@basiclassy

@being-worthy

@chaotic-bean-of-smolness

@margoo0

@vhscillian

@crazymar15

@im-constantly-fangirling

@namelesslosers

@littlewhiterose

@ttzamara

@cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon

@dolllol2405

@pkab

@babaohhhriley

@littleweirdoalien

@alreadybroken-ts

@masteroperator

@stevie75

@shabzy96

@rainbow12346

@obsessedwithfandomsx

@geeksareunique

@laysalespoir

@paigem00

@lkarls

@vamp-army

@luckystarme

@myjumper

@gxorg

@eline-1806

@goldenharrysworld

@cristinagronk16

@stylesofloki

@faatxma

@slut-for-matt-murdock

@tpwkstiles

@myjumper

@cloudofdisney

@look-at-the-soul

@smellyzcat

@kittycatcait219

@theliterarybeldam

@being-worthy

@layazul

@lyn07

@kagilmore

@50svibes

@mainstreetlilly

@ourthatgirlabby

@bitchwhytho

@takethee

@registerednursejackie

@sofi128

@mrkdvidal1989

@minxsblog

@heidimoreton

@laylasbunbunny

@laylasbunbunny

@queenshelby

@camilleholland89

@forgottenpeakywriter

@vintagecherryt

@indierockgirrl

@mrkdvidal1989

@bluesongbird

@dudde-44

@gasolinesavages

@kissforvoid

@bluebird592

@1eugenia1isabella1

@esposadomdp

@lulunalua23

@lovelace42

@bookklover23

@iwantmyredvelvetcupcake

@moonmaiden1996

@marlenamallowan

@cyphah (cannot tag)

@majesticcmey

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@throughgoeshamilton

@alessioayla

@elenavampire21

@justforfiction

@cilliansangel​

@alannielaraye (cannot tag)

@satellitelh​

[13thdoctorposts]

Sometimes it’s important to know when to let a show go. 

When 13 regenerated into 14 and had her clothes burnt off like a witch on a stake, sending a horrible message about women and gender RTD came out and said he did it to protect David from right wing media. Then the fans defended David coming back and that RTD would address why he had that face and why the clothes also regenerated, although I was upset with 13s regeneration I thought ok I’ll wait and see how this get handles. Because even though I don’t like the real world messaging maybe the in world messaging will be enough to make it ok.

But then what happens? We get a trans story for the very first story with very positive messaging for trans issues which is great but undermined by the fact RTD wanted to protect David from gender critiques by the right wing but didn’t seem to want to protect Yasmin Finney. So first David can’t wear Jodies costume for protection but then RTD has Yasmin live through being deadnamed in the show which she herself has said made her uncomfortable and then also gave her character the line of telling the Doctor to not assume pronouns… which any of the characters could have done but RTD chose Rose and then what happen? What always happens with the right wing, the pronoun line and the male presenting line are the ones that the right wing all go on about in every video, in every article… they deadname the character and then misgender and say horrible things about Yasmin… so RTD protects the 50+ year old white man who’s worn way more feminine things then 13 outfit in his career the media could use if they wanted to go after him but don’t protect the 20 year old Trans Woman? How people aren’t talking about how fucked up that is I don’t know.

Then we get no reason why the Doctor has that face and why the clothes regenerated on them. Then in their own regeneration… they don’t! They bi-regenerates and this time Ncuti does get the Doctor clothes, well half of them… why didn’t 15 regenerate with their own clothes? No instead we have the new Doctor walking around with no pants on… and why is it that 15 has to go pantless and not David? are we protecting David again? Perfectly fine to have a bunch of pics of 15 in his tighty whities and no pants but again David could not be seen in 13s full gender neutral outfit. 

Then to top all this off theres no mention in the loves lost of Yaz… even though the Doctor chose to drop her off in a park 3 days ago after telling her if they could Date anyone it would be Yaz… is that not love lost? Was saying good bye to Yaz not an emotional trigger? Now people are saying thats because only the dead were brought up… Rose is not dead unlike Yaz Rose is not only alive in another Dimension but also got herself a Doctor… Yaz currently is mourning the Doctor while they cant even seem to remember she existed despite dropping her off 3 days a go… so they weren’t all dead… however Rose was over 1000 years ago and Yaz 3 days ago… what hurts more the lost of someone you loved but who is still alive from 50 years ago or the one you lost last week? What makes logical sense is the love you lost most recently hurts the most… and people dont need to die for you to hurt losing them from your life if you love them.

Now we have 2 Doctors and people are already saying they can’t wait for David Tennant episodes, so if you think the 10th Doctor overshadowed the other Doctors when he was no longer the Doctor how overshadowed do you think the first main Doctor of colour is going to be when lots of peoples favourite white Doctor ever is also a legitimate Doctor in universe existing at the exact same time with a TARDIS? Ncuti doesn’t event get to be the only Doctor during his tenure he has to share it with David.  

The lastly no mentions of Yaz at all… seems shes completely forgotten and at the very end the Doctor says they are finally with their family the happiest he’s ever been… what a diss of every TARDIS team ever that the Doctor has found family with… your last crew you literally called your ‘Fam’, the Ponds you actually married into… Susan was your flesh and blood… but no this family you haven’t seen in 1000 years, of which only one of who was part of your TARDIS team are the ones you finally found family with and make you the happiest you’ve ever be? Literally at the exact same time the Doctor is sitting at that table saying all of that, Yaz is mourning the Doctor and not wanting to have left the TARDIS, but she doesn’t get a mention because for some reason if it’s a wlw relationship it means nothing and can be ignored completely. 

Honestly by the end the Doctor just seems like a complete prick, and not in a 13 I’m dealing with internal trauma and I accidentally snapped way but just in a I’m a shit person way. Talk about compromised morals, people wouldn’t shut up about it with 13 but the Doctor just left a young woman to mourn them while being the “happiest they have ever been” grabbing themselves a new family and pretending Yaz doesn’t exist. Talk about shit morals. People say Chibs didn’t know anything from 12s era, which wasn’t true it directly affected the way 13 kept the fam at arms length but after watching this clearly RTD didn’t even know what happened in the episode 14 regenerated from 13 in and the previous episode Legend of the Sea Devils, because surely if you did, you wouldn’t not mention Yaz at all and give a reason why the Doctor wouldn’t go see her while she’s mourning them and just grabbing a new family and claiming to be the happiest you’ve ever been in the 2000 years of life you remember. Because that would make the character look like a prick, not a hero, which is exactly what happened. If RTD is the amazing writer people claim, he could have come up with a Yaz mention and a reason why the Doctor wasn’t going to see her.

I know not everyone was happy with the wlw representation with Thasmin but you know what’s way worse? Not even mentioning it or even acknowledging Yaz’s existence.

And to top it off I am so very very over the double standard of the fandom… this episode, had plot holes, had important things that weren’t explained… like why that face and why did the clothes regenerate… things that weren’t explained that weren’t so important like where did the sonic screw driver come from, why can it do all the things it now does… it had racism from both the Toymaker and Donna… what on earth was that line about ‘do you come in every colour’, was paced poorly, it clearly should have been longer and decided to mess with lore by creating bi-rengeration out of thin air and not explaining how it would effect things going forward or why it even happen, like a true WTF… if Chibs had done even one of these things, or wrote this episode the exact same way the fandom would be coming for him instead they are praising the genius of RTD not caring about any of those things, all the sins they claimed Chibs did and some of them on a bigger scale in this episode but the treatment of RTD is the polar opposite. 

It’s unbelievably hypocritical, and makes the fandom look even worse for being so hard on the first female Doctor because none of this was acceptable for her but its not only fine but great with a male Doctor.

So I think it’s time for me to let this show go, and know it’s time to bow out. Because unlike the people who have been horrible about 13 for the last 6 years I understand sometimes you have to step away from something you love when its no longer for you and leave it for other people to love.

Im out with 13.

[hayateart]

Moshang Arranged marriage AU but with a twist.

Shang Qinghua is forced to enter arranged marriage with Mobei Jun as a show of goodwill from the human cultivators in face of Luo Binghe raising to power and forcefully uniting the human and demon realms. The catch? Linguang-Jun is the one who ascended to the Northern Kingdom throne and is the current Mobei Jun.

Many years ago, when Qinghua was still an outer disciple, there was another transmigrator, a big fan of the original PIDW. Since there was no Luo Binghe yet, he figured he would take his place and make his name as the greatest human cultivator with hundreds of wives. Airplane noticed too late what was happening and by the time he did, the guy already managed to ruin the plot. Which wouldn't be so bad, Airplane did not much enjoy his fate in the original, but the guy made it so so much worse.

In order to avoid competition, the transmigrator threw Binghe into the Abyss as soon as the little protagonist set foot into the Cang Qiong mountain. Little Binghe managed to escape the Abyss after 10 years and mostly crazed took over the demon realm quickly in order to take revenge on the humans.

In that time, the other transmigrator, using his plot knowledge, rose to power and became the leader of human cultivation world. He knew he fucked up, so he quickly threw Shen Qingqiu to Binghe as the man who wronged him (little Binghe did not remember his offender's face) and basically gave up human realm to serve the new demon emperor and thus uniting the kingoms.

He offered Binghe multiple brides, some his own wives, all in hope of appeasing the crazed protagonist.

Where is Airplane in all that? Well, unlike in the original, Airplane never met his Mobei Jun and as such never became the spy for the demon realm. A change from the plot but he did not complain. At least he would not die after betraying his favourite character, so even if the world is fucked, that's better for him, right?

Well, no. The marriage happens. Shang Qinghua has no choice but to comply, or he will be forced to face the transmigrator and the crazed protagonist's wrath.

The marriage is not happy. On good days Linguang Jun simply ignores his husband. On bad days, he reminds him that he absolutely detests humans and the only reason he agreed to the marriage was Luo Binghe - the Emperor found the situation funny. Also, with one of the Peak Lords in the court, the Demon Emperor had more influence on Cang Qiong Sect.

In the meantime Shang Qinghua tries to find out what happened to the OG Mobei Jun and discovers that Shen Qingqiu who is locked in the Demon Emperor's dungeons, fortunately not turned into a human stick yet, also recently transmigrated.

So what happened to Mobei Jun? Well, the same transmigrator who tried to get rid of Binghe, tried to get rid of Mobei as well. He remembered from the PIDW that Mobei was once held by Huan Hua Palace as prisoner and he tried to kill him then and there. As his last defence, Mobei Jun encased himself in never melting ice tomb and is still in the Water Prison, waiting. He ages and dreams, and, surprise, since all he can do is dream, Meng Mo instead of Binghe latches onto Mobei. From his prison, Mobei Jun become a pretty powerful dream demon himself.

Mobei, in his dreams, wanders to the Northern Kingdom often and finds very unhappy Qinghua by the side of his uncle. Together with Qingqiu, they all plot to overthrow Linguang Jun and get Mobei to his rightful place as well, defeat the other transmigrator and expose him to Binghe, and maybe help Binghe as well since he does not seem happy. Qinghua still considers him his son, and since the story is now real and very much off the rails, he wants his son to have a proper happy ending as well.

[ecto-hazard]

I just rewatched ii s1 (fucked up right?)

im just gonna make a post compiling some barebones concepts that im curious about. cause with the latest reveal, im wondering how much previous stuff might become relevant.

Obviously this was made years ago by a bunch of kids so its possible that most of the details can be disregarded as random bullshit. It does seem like they put a lot of work in creating retcons though so I have reason to believe theyre building off their previous work on purpose but i could be wrong and thats fair. im gonna post about it anyway tho

ii16 spoilers discussed under the cut

Who Mephone created (or rather, didn't create)

Mephone supposedly made every contestant for the show, but there's a couple vague characters.

Fan: weirdly enough he's in a gray area cause he appears as a background character before s2, but he also glitched out in that one episode, so its unlikely he wasnt created by Mephone. But yknow.

Apple: Apple is a fan character who was submitted to the show, and this is addressed in canon. It's possible that mephone made her and the other fan contestants based on whatever the submitters asked?

Bow: she randomly shows up after an ad read. Mephone doesnt seem to even want her to join, but he receives a call from Adam to insist she join. Mephone seems quite resistant to the idea (which would be weird if he made her?) Most interestingly, she's the only one in this list that Mephone couldn't recover.

Dough MIGHT be one mephone didnt create, but it seems pretty likely that Mephone would create him as he was specifically requested by adam to get bow back. Dough does seem like something he'd throw together really quickly to cover his ass

The reason any of this could be relevant is that if they arent created by Mephone, they probably cant be deleted by Cobs.

Adam

Stuff about Adam (the character not the guy) has been kinda quiet lately? He was supposedly the producer of ii, and pays mephone apparently? He clearly has a role to play since he showed up in one of Mephone's memories and seems to be a creation by cobs. So observing his actions in s1 might be valuable, especially since cobs would be able to manipulate the show through him.

Some notable actions of his:

Insisting on Bow being in the show. This is doubly interesting if Bow isn't one of Mephone's creations. She could be an industry plant of some kind?

Telling Mephone to keep 4S out of the season finale. This is supposedly to keep the finale from going crazy. If Mephone had been successful, he wouldve been killed by Mephone 5. Its possible this was on purpose so 4 could be destroyed and replaced

Investing in another season. at the end of s2, despite things going wrong, he tells Mephone they're going to do another season. He sweetens the deal by offering a raise and agreeing to get Mephone an assistant (Toilet). Cobs clearly got invested in this show, so it makes sense he'd encourage more of it from the shadows.

Mephone 4S

Yeah talking about 4S isn't anything new, the fandom's obsessed with him. I am too.

The implications of Mephone4 being in 4S's body never really got explored in s2. I guess they were similar enough that it didn't really matter. But he clearly still has some relevance in the modern series. One of Mephone's memories shows him getting developed as a replacement for 4, and he actually appears in Invitational, Sorta? Clearly Mephone's bothered by the sacrifice he made.

At the very least, the show's reminding us that he existed, so maybe he still does exist? I don't think he's going to necessarily make a comeback or anything but I dunno. It seems like he might be able to talk to Mephone in his head so maybe there's something to that.

Evil Paper

Im just gonna be upfront that I don't have a dissociative disorder and its not my place to talk about how it works or what is good or bad representation so I'm not gonna get super deep into talking about this. I'm just curious if the team has any plans for addressing Evil Paper. They seemed to make an effort into writing Yin Yang more thoughtfully (whether or not they actually succeeded, again, not my say). I could see them giving Paper similar treatment. If they did I doubt it'd be very plot relevant though.

Is the Taco we got the Taco we were supposed to have?

I've actually seen this conversation circulate a little bit already. This sort of debate could apply to any character really, but Taco is perhaps the most interesting example because she's so involved in the latest episodes AND because Brian actually addressed a tweet about this.

Taco behaves like a goofy idiot for the majority of s1, only revealing at the end that she was faking it so she would make it to the end. She specifically says she was "built to win" (the quote Brian addresses), and shows a much more competent side when she actually competes. In fact if it weren't for Bow's interference, Taco would have won the challenge (another case of Bow being weird).

This all seems to imply that Taco may have been intended to win the series by Mephone. Cobs points out to Suitcase and Knife that Mephone had "high hopes" for them, so it's not unreasonable to say that maybe certain characters were liked over others. Mephone never seems to give special treatment openly, but that doesn't mean that when he made certain contestants he didn't at the very least expect them to do well.

What is highly unlikely though is that Taco was created to be a twist villain. This results in Mephone's death after all (though the activity of Bow and Mephone 5 also could be to blame). Especially since he had pressure from Adam to keep things running smoothly, it just wouldn't make sense that Mephone would specifically create someone to toss a wrench in things. Most likely Taco developed like this on her own accord.

But that also raises the question, if she wasn't meant to be a villain, what was she supposed to be? How much of the taco we have now is the Taco that Mephone created? We don't actually see how he reacts to her "reveal" because he's in the middle of running away from 5. But everyone else clearly never saw it coming. OJ specifically comments that this doesn't seem like "the Taco he's been competing with all this time," and while that's written in reference to her reveal, it also could mean she WASNT the Taco he'd been competing with. We do get a hint or two of her true self in previous episodes, but its possible she wasn't ever supposed to be like that.

I think its possible Mephone4 created her as a goofy goober joke character initially, and over time, she changed. She developed into a more tactful and villainous character with her exposure to the contest.

A few things in the most recent episodes might allude to this. One thing being how in ii15 she discusses how she became aware of how much the contest is changing everyone, herself included. Secondly, in ii16 she tells Pickle that at the time she didn't consider how her actions were going to hurt him. This is a really shitty apology and no excuse for it, but it ALSO could mean that at the time, Taco really didn't think about it. In S1, she claims that she was just using him, but we don't know how aware of herself she was back then. Its possible that there was a past version of Taco who wasn't deadset on winning no matter the cost, and being in the game changed her.

Anyway these have been my slopthoughts. It's like 9 pm and ive been writing this for like an hour. Maybe most of this wont get addressed at all in the series, but I figured i might as well compile it down since I just finished s1

[for-ships-that-never-sail]

LISTEN

I’m on the ✨ #LukolaEndgame ✨ hopes and dreams delulu (but hopefully not actually delulu) train 🚂 just as much as the next person here

BUT ALSO

I wouldn’t be mad at this?? 👀

Like…. He’s a handsome man, and if Nic intends to respectfully climb him like a tree, I GET IT. 👀🤤

See below for more Lukola positive thoughts though…

👇🏼

SO Nic has already mentioned Eamon by name (as a friend) in at least 2 or 3 interviews during the recent press tour… She’s also said she very much believes in the friends to lovers trope that is just as applicable here…. Andddddddd I’ve seen Nic hug A on video in a very friendly way (not that she wouldn’t hug her or be nice to her even if she didddd want L rn) and I also just saw someone’s theory on the Lukola tag about Nic’s “shit or get off the pot” paddle hit side eye vibes potentially being about her just giving L friendly advise on his stuff with A, which I can technically see as plausible…

So yeah, I know those ideas are gonna pisssss people off, but I’m just saying…. It would be a gorgeous love story for Lukola to one day be endgame, BUT in the meantime, I can see their current situations being all of thisss^

NOW in terms of my personal hopes and dreams of Lukola actually being endgame… I see it the way I see #Beliza 😅

Is anyone here from THOSE days?? When we used to look at #Bellarke and say, “if Bellamy is not supposed to be in love with Clarke, someone needs to tell Bob to stop looking at Eliza like that” (because we thought it was justtttt an acting choice)???

And then BAMMM

Out of absolutely fucking NOWHERE (I mean for some of us crazies that were following too closely it wasn’t 100% out of nowhere… but I knooooow that’s how the majority felt) they’re about to be filming the last season of the show and they’re just like yeah so GUESS WHAT GUYS I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND and everyone is like ??? 🤯 I mean y’all were definitely close friends when you were shooting and doing promo every year for sure but like when the fuck did you become actual bestttt friends irl??? When the fuck did you start dating???? When did you even decide you’d get married?? Cause just a few months ago we were still seeing both of your other public shipssss!!! (Let’s also fully jump over THAT drama 👀) And then they were just like, so ummm we kissed after our first date and we just KNEW this was ITTTT so we got married 2 seconds later cause like why wouldn’t we?? We are best friends and soulmatesssss ✨🌈🦄 🥰🦞

Anyway

That’s how I imagine Lukola to one day become official 🤷🏻‍♀️ Like they’ll date other people openly, and then suddenly OUT OF THE BLUE they’re MARRIED and everyone’s fucking confused AND elated! Lol

I do wonder if already having been so intimate with each other as Polin (unlike Bellarke, which, let’s just not think about that anymore either 😫) would delay or speed up Lukola if this were the case.

Like either it’ll speed them up because they know they LIKED all of THAT 👀 so by the time Bridgerton is officially coming to a close they’ll feel comfortable enough to stop being so professional about their relationship and acknowledge the 🐘 in the room and get on itttttt and get married 4 dates in… ORRRRR it will slow them down because they would continue to think they LIKED IT only because they were experiencing emotional residue from being too in character as Polin. Meaning the show would have to end and they’d have to actually part ways for a while, and they’d have to miss each other a LOTTT, and realize it wasn’t just Polin that created all this 🌩️ energy 🌩️ between them, and then one of them would need to just jump in the deep end and be like, so uhmmmm I thought I was feeling the tingles cause I was just super into being Colin but maybeee that wasn’t ittt…. so do you, errr… wanna??? 👀

My concern with option 2 is that it has higher potential for “ships that pass in the night” vibes 😫

So

GOD I humbly pray that it’s actually the first version, and that they’re just sowing their wild oats until Bridgerton is nearly over, justttt because they don’t wanna accidentally fuck up any work dynamics, and that as soon as the official end is in sight, they will just get married two seconds into dating irl AMEN 🙏🏼

[beemers-hell]

i desperately wanna apologize to you but you would call bullshit and paint me like something evil bitch when in reality, i want the cycle of abuse to end and to ease my mind. i just wanna redeem myself before ending it all.

- you already know who

to everyone else sorry about this, but I've had enough, anyway i was just gonna delete this, just like i deleted the TWO suicide notes you sent me in my ask box a lil bit ago, but a number of my friends DM'd me about what you've been posting on your blog so I can only assume this all came from Nene, also known as @/shugurrsn0w , and for anyone who doesnt know Nene is, well this callout thread will get you acclimated with her REAL quick lmfao:

You are not fucking apologetic at all if you are using s0uless' full REAL name on your blog, you stupid bitch. That kind of information can put them at risk of REAL GENUINE HARM. S0uless made the mistake of using their name as their art handle when they were younger but they have been doing a pretty extensive wipe of that username being online, I know this isn't exactly doxxing because of that but USING IT WHEN THEY'RE CLEARLY NOT WANTING IT TO BE PUBLIC INFORMATION IS SOME PRETTY SCUMMY SHIT, AND CAN BE USED FOR ACTUAL REAL HARM BEING DONE TO HIM YOU JACKASS

Don't come in my ask box hiding behind anonymous acting like you actually feel bad for the shit you did when you are STILL making posts calling me and my husband fucking freaks when you know DAMN WELL we're not. Don't you dare try and act all remorseful and pitiful and like you're some misunderstood fallen angel when you've been doing but helping making our lives a fucking nightmare. You don't get to act like you've done nothing wrong when you have CONSISENTLY VICTIM BLAMED THEM, CLAIMED THEIR TRAUMA WAS FAKE, BEEN RACIST TO ME, MOCKED MY ABUELAS RECENT DEATH, THREATENED HARM ON BOTH OF US, HARASSED AND STALKED US, AND SPREAD ALL THIS INSANE SHIT ABOUT US FOR NO GODDAMN REASON. You don't get to just act like you made some petty mistakes that you can walk off, you have been non stop harassing, stalking, and falsely accusing me and s0uless of being scum of the fucking earth when there is no goddamn evidence that we are and you KNOW there isn't, because we fucking ARENT. Unlike your freak ass, we KNOW what the fuck is right and what is wrong. But that kind of shit gets around to people and makes people start thinking we ARE those freaks that we aren't.

And you should be well aware of how fucking awful that makes a mother fucker feel, you know? Since you wanna keep whining about how "people keep being mean/demonizing you for no reason." What, you don't think people are gonna DM me asking me what the fuck you're talking about in those posts you make? Newsflash dipshit, most people wanna know both party's stories regarding drama that surrounds someone they know. Don't you try to twist this and cry about how I'm some creepy weirdo that's stalking you, you should've thought harder about following someone and then IMMEDIATELY sending them an anonymous ask about me and s0uless, cause that DEFINETLY isn't fucking fishy at all, dumbass. That's how I was alerted to you and your new bullshit. Don't try and act like I'm a freak that keeps tabs on you, I thought you'd drop off the face of the earth after that one callout thread got made on you. You wanna talk about evidence of wrongdoing? Nothing really shows your true colors more than publicly being racist, harassing minors, and consistently AND RECENTLY consuming bestiality porn of minors. Try bouncing back from saying that YOU want to make noncon porn of your favs, or being a whole ass adult saying you wanna fuck a 16 year old character that you KNOW is 16. THATS some REAL freak shit that YOU admitted to your damn self, you don't get to act like me or s0uless are the real freaks when there is REAL AND RECENT EVIDENCE of you doing that shit, you gross fuck.

Leave us the fuck alone, I do not care about your pathetic ass and s0uless sure as shit doesn't either. This has been going on for over a FUCKING YEAR NOW and i dont give a single SHIT about playing nice and being quiet about it anymore. Don't fucking come whining to me and acting like you're remorseful again when you're PULLING THIS SHIT AGAIN. Leave me the fuck alone and I'll leave you the fuck alone. Expect a restraining order dumbass, it was real easy to get your info when you've got it so readily available online! If youre gonna play stupid games, expect to win stupid prizes. Get the fuck off my and my husband's dick and focus on fixing yourself you ghoul. Do some fucking introspection so you can figure out why the fuck people don't like you. And don't come to me threatening suicide again, I don't give a single SHIT about you and I'm sure as FUCK not going to give you any sympathy when you've shown no fucking growth or genuine remorse for all of this. I've thought about killing myself a lot lately too, you're not fucking special.

[d-criss-news]

Actor Darren Criss Discusses Bringing ‘Maybe Happy Ending’ To Broadway

[UHQ] Darren Criss attends the "Maybe Happy Ending" Broadway photo call at Tempo by Hilton New York Times Square on September 16, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images)

“An original, new musical on Broadway - can you believe that?”

That is the excitement that Emmy and Golden Globe-winning actor Darren Criss brought to our new conversation this week about his Maybe Happy Endingproduction coming to Broadway, with previews starting October 16 and its opening night set for November 12.

Previously known for his memorable performances on hit television series like Glee and The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, as well as his previous involvement in celebrated live theatre productions including American Buffalo, Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Little Shop of Horrors, Criss, 37, is now preparing to play Oliver on-stage, a robot referred to as a Helperbot 3 that has been long retired and is considered obsolete, now spending his days in isolation in his one-room apartment on the outskirts of Seoul, South Korea. That all changes when Oliver forms an unlikely connection with a fellow Helperbot neighbor named Claire (played by Helen J Shen).

I sat down with Criss in New York City, New York, just down the street from his Maybe Happy Ending’s upcoming Belasco Theatre venue, wondering first how this production and his interest in this rather unique character of Oliver initially got on his radar.

Criss said, “Two men that I’m very grateful for in my life, Mr. Jeffrey Richards, whose the lead producer of the show, who I have had a long standing relationship, as far as doing theatre on Broadway is concerned. We came in contact more than a decade ago when we were doing a reading of American Buffalo, which I would do basically a decade later with him. He’s always sent me cool things and cool projects. Separately, Michael Arden has been a friend for a very long day. He has been in sort of more my friends circle than my professional circle - I went to college with his husband. I’ve seen almost every single thing he’s ever directed - I think I missed one thing. These are two guys that I have always admired and appreciated, as far as their output was in the theatre community. The Venn diagrams became one circle when Jeffrey sent me an email about this several years ago. Michael was a part of it and wherever Michael is, I run!”

Being a musical set in Asia and Criss being half-Filipino himself, with several other Asian artists working alongside him on this project, I was curious if Criss takes extra pride in being able to tell a story like Maybe Happy Ending live on on-stage and soon get to share it with our world.

“Of course, I do,” Criss said. “There’s obviously a huge amount of personal ‘woo-hoo’ to the idea that this is predominantly an Asian, Asian-American company - on-stage and off-stage - but I’m always weary to categorize this as an Asian show or an Asian story. This production happens to celebrate and represent Asian-ness to a really fun degree, but there’s so much universal-ness to it and accessibility to the story that I hope in perpetuity, this is something that can be done anywhere, with anyone, at any time. I don’t think I’m trying to say that to be inclusive of all things and people. It’s me being pragmatic - this is a story about a future world - about sentient robots that really doesn’t have any particular cultural background, other than the cultural background of technology, which is based in the human experience.”

Criss added with his Maybe Happy Ending collaborators in mind: “I think all of us enjoy sharing our sort of Asian heritage with each other, and obviously, that’s a large spectrum - that’s not one thing. So, there’s already an eclecticism between all of our Asian experiences that’s fun to bring to the table. Yes, it does take place in Seoul, it is from South Korea, but this show has already had great success in Korea, Japan and China - which while all Asian, make no mistake - are very different cultures. So, if that’s any indication of the ability for this show to resonate with all people, then I think we’re in good shape.”

He is not the only person on this production embracing this collective experience. Shen says of interactions so far with co-star Criss, “I think he’s been really generous with his energy and his time. As a person who, I can sometimes feel a little young in this space, I feel like I’m new to this. I’m making my Broadway debut - there’s a lot of imposter syndrome and words of doubt that can be flooding my brain. He is always the first person to say, ‘You belong here. You deserve to be here. You’ve worked very hard - and just breathe and take up space.’ That has been so invaluable to have somebody understand what this feeling can be, of how scary and overwhelming it can be, and be like, ‘This is an exciting moment! We’re present here - let’s soak it in!’ He’s been such a champion of that.”

Arden, who is the director of Maybe Happy Ending, said of Criss, “Darren is so incredible. He can do everything - it’s really somewhat annoying. He understands things from the inside out and the outside in - and so, to meet him and the rest of this company, honestly, in the process, it just means that we get to kind of like create this thing together. It’s not like my vision upon them - it’s something that we can all create together.”

Hue Park and Will Aronson, who have led the way with the music and lyrics in Maybe Happy Ending, have nothing but respect and admiration to say about Criss.

Park said, “I think he’s just perfect for the role - his sense of humor, his acting skills, his sensibility creating this character based on our text and music. It’s just so exciting to see.”

Aronson added of Criss: “He has a boyish innocence, which really is perfect for this show - and his creativity. The great thing about live theatre is that it’s already true in the rehearsal room - it’ll be true in the theatre, once it’s running - that the actors are creating it every time they perform it, meaning that the jokes are different every time, even if the text is the same. The chemistry is different, depending on what the actors are creating in their scene together. The cast is just incredible, so of course, they’re finding that and they’re creating that.”

Dez Duron, who plays Gil in Maybe Happy Ending, said of Criss’s character and his performance so far, “Oliver is a really big role - he’s on-stage pretty much the whole time. I’ve been loving watching him tackle this role, and explore it and discover it. I’ve been a part of this project for five years, so watching [Criss] kind of like get into the script and the changes he’s bringing to it and the new life he’s breathing into it has been really inspiring to watch.”

Marcus Choi, who plays James in the new musical, said of his co-star, “So, Darren Criss has always been on my radar - we’re all very familiar with his body of work. He’s been incredible for so long, but when I got a chance to go to Elsie Fest last weekend, I really got to see him shine. He is just such a force on-stage and just oozes charisma. I mean, I’ve always been a fan but I just have a deep appreciation for him now and just how hard he works.”

Even though this can be perceived as a sci-fi production, being that it centers around robots that are no longer seen of use in the world, I asked Criss if he sees the parallels towards humanity within our real world with this story about love and still finding connection.

Darren said, “Yes! The Helperbots in our show are somewhere between servants, pets and children - and old folks. If we did a show about old folks in a home, it might hit a little too close to home - it might be a little too on the nose. I think some of the most human themes that I’ve been taken with are stories about cartoon animals or toys - things that represent the human experience in a way that I actually am more likely to internalize and pick up on. So, I think that’s what one of the great devices of the show is - to sort of displace the human experience through that of a sentient robot. Yes, we all - surprise, surprise - we all have a shelf life. We are all at some point going to be, in the eyes of society, obsolete in some respect. We all have a battery life. This is less talking about the idea of mortality and concept of transience, and the idea that we can only spend our battery life on so much, thinking about What are you going to spend your battery life on? So yes, that is going to hit audiences, hopefully, in a profound way.”

As I concluded my conversation with Criss about his Maybe Happy Ending Broadway production, I wondered what Criss would want to say to Oliver, after embodying him so far in rehearsals, continuing to better understand the character and preparing to share his compassionate story with our world throughout the fall season and beyond.

Criss said, “The same thing that I think hopefully the show will posit, which is - It’ll be okay. It’ll always be okay.”

[thestrangestthing89]

Catching up on some of the behind the scenes stuff. My take on what we have seen so far...

Mike having a similar look to season 1 is so good for him. I think it shows he is more comfortable with himself. He's going back to his roots when he was the character everyone loved. So I think we will get a more authentic Mike and Paladin Mike back right off the bat.

I like the blue polo with the yellow collar. And it looks like his jacket is a little green in the video with him and El (like a sage green/greyish green color). It reminds me a bit of the color block polo he was wearing in S3 which makes me wonder if Will is going to have a matching one this season too.

Mike and El's relationship closely resembles Nancy and Steve's. El broke up with him with the From El letter and he knows this. I've written about this a lot so I'm not going to get into it here, but the fact that at the end of S4 shows a 2 day time jump and after this point Mike and El aren't even talking and they are rolling their eyes at each other is meant to indicate that something happened with them during that time jump that wasn't good.

The fact that S5 seems to pick up a couple years later (judging by El's hair) I think is further proof that they already filmed part of S5 back when they were doing S4. The part that picks up right where S4 ended I think was already done. So I think this is where we will get to see a clarification of what exactly happened during that 2 day jump and get confirmation that Mike and El broke up already.

Their relationship was defined as being immature and made both of them feel badly about themselves. They were already at a point where they wanted it over so there is no reason narratively why that needs to drag out over 2 years when neither of them is happy.

Especially considering Mike's new look where he is dressing more like himself. They have established for 2 seasons that Mike isn't himself when he is with El. So him acting more comfortable and looking more like himself all points to him and El having broken up a while ago. He had time to figure out what was authentic for him already over a time jump.

I think Mike and El's conversation has more to do with reestablishing a friendship. They didn't communicate well when they were in a relationship and El dismissed Mike's feelings a lot (the conversation about bullying being one of those times), so I think it's possible they drifted apart during the couple year jump because I think it's hard for Mike to trust her. I saw people comparing it to the train track conversation back in S1 and I think that's accurate. That conversation was meant to indicate the first time Mike started seeing her as a friend (even though they really didn't reach an understanding here the way he thought). But I think this time it actually will establish a real friendship in a way that was different than before.

I do think think it's likely Mike and Will are together at this point in the beginning of S5. But either way I think a lot of this conversation with El has to do with Mike telling her how he feels about Will and them being honest with each other for the first time.

Mike and El have very few one on one scenes together. I think I can count on one hand the amount of conversations they have had where it was just the two of them and a group wasn't around them. To me, this indicates that this conversation is actually important. Unlike a lot of their other conversations where they weren't communicating well or they weren't acting like themselves. But I think in keeping with the pattern the show has always had, this is likely the last one on one scene with them until the end of the season. They tend to not interact much in the middle of every season so I would be surprised if there was much more content with just the two of them.

This scene is very platonic just based on their body language. They aren't close or acting in any romantic way. And again, the fact that they seem comfortable indicates that they have had time to reflect on their relationship and heal from it. Mike is never comfortable around El in S3 or S4. He is never comfortable with her touching him or being close with her. So the fact that he is here, is further proof to me that it's already over. He isn't pretending anymore (I think he was done with this by the end of S4).

Another thing that makes me think they haven't spent much time together over a jump of a few years is Mike directly telling Will in S4 that he wished he spent less time with El and more with him. He already made the mistake of not spending time with Will and regretted it. He isn't going to do that again. So I think it's possible that he has been spending more time with Will to make up for it and ended up pulling away from El. And this conversation in S5 is meant to be an acknowledgement of that and the fact that he can have a romantic relationship with Will and a platonic one with El at the same time. Two people he has been struggling to have a relationship at the same time with since pretty much the beginning of the series.

Very curious to see what Will's look is because I don't think it's a bowl cut. I always thought that hairstyle was meant to indicate him holding on to his childhood and all of his trauma. If he has a new look I think it's a good hint that not only is he more comfortable with himself but that him and Mike are already together at the beginning of S5. The show has already established that the two of them are only comfortable with themselves when they are together. Mike being true to himself is a good thing. It shows he learned and grew from his immature behavior in the past few seasons. I would be surprised if Will's look doesn't indicate the same based on where his character arc left off at the end of S4.