#a study of the heart and brain

[anonymousewrites]

A Study of the Heart and Brain (Book 3) Prologue

Father Figure! Sherlock Holmes x Teen! Reader

Prologue: Difficult Loss

Summary: (Y/N) is dealing with the aftermath of losing Sherlock.

Mouse Note: Welcome to A Study of the Heart and Brain (Book 3)! Very angsty beginning, I know, but it didn't exactly end that well. I hope everyone enjoys this, please feel free to comment (It gets me to keep writing and I always respond). I can't wait to see what everyone thinks. I've worked very hard on this! So, without further ado, let's go!

            Two years. Two years of going on autopilot. Two years of loneliness. Two years with Sherlock.

            (Y/N) was…not doing well.

            If someone asked them, they’d refuse to respond, but if pressed, (Y/N) would assure everyone (coldly) that they were just fine. Anyone close to them knew that was a giant lie.

            Mrs. Hudson could speak of how (Y/N) refused to eat whenever their loneliness got too strong. Even their beloved lollipops were abandoned and thrown in the trash. She saw them curl up in Sherlock’s armchair and just stare into space, lost in their memories as they ached for Sherlock to come back to them. She knew they had resisted washing their sweater for quite some time, and when it had come out smelling of detergent, (Y/N) had nearly burst into tears as it suddenly felt so foreign, like the last remnants of Sherlock had been destroyed.

            Mycroft could speak of how he let (Y/N) go on cases (supervised and ensured to not be dangerous at all) but saw nothing but mechanical work. They would solve the cases, but there was no…spirit. There was none of the energy they had when they worked with Sherlock. It was like they were on autopilot. And they only spoke when Lestrade prompted them. There was no desire to show off. In fact, (Y/N) had reverted to who they had been without Sherlock. Insecure. Unsure of themself. Unsure of everyone around them.

            John could speak of that better than anyone. He had lingered for so long in 221B, but (Y/N) hadn’t liked it. They were unsure of his presence, the lack of Sherlock being too much. It was too much for John, too. He couldn’t stay in the flat. And (Y/N) hadn’t protested. It was like they were waiting for him to leave, too. Like Sherlock.

            And he had. He had met Mary. He had fallen in love with Mary. He was ready to marry Mary. He had hoped (Y/N) would like her and they’d start finding more people to trust (or anyone to trust). But they hadn’t. They had acknowledged Mary, but they were so unsure of people. It wasn’t that they disliked her—John knew what (Y/N) was like with people they didn’t like—but they just couldn’t let themself get close. They couldn’t get past losing Sherlock. Without him…

            (Y/N) was empty.

            And everyone around them knew it.

            However, there was one thing (Y/N) kept to themself. They visited Sherlock’s grave. They knew he’d remind them that such sentimentality was silly, and they should be moving on to greater things. But they couldn’t, and since Sherlock was dead, (Y/N) didn’t have him to tell them to stop visiting his grave.

            So they kept going. They’d talk about their cases. They made sure they solved each one just to make sure they had successes to share with Sherlock. They had to make him proud. But still…

            “I miss you,” whispered (Y/N), curling up in front of his grave with his old purple sweater pulled around them. “I miss you so much.”

            (Y/N) missed their dad.

Taglist:

@stilesstilinskiforlife-blog

@im-making-an-effort

@ilse235

@schrodingers-intelligence

@awsedrftgyhujikol

@lxserthxngzzz

@forever1313

@mentallyunstablemanlover

[rox-of-iu]

my old blorbos are back in my brain

heart pirates my absolute beloved. shame theyre chillin somewhere in the ocean lol (do not mention the pre-time skip hats of penguin and shachi I'm still attached even tho its already been a million years since then)

anyway every time i remember that Law and Kid are assigned german and Scottish by Oda i gain one hundred years

[hermanunworthy]

lincoln li wilson is genuinely such a fascinating compelling character and im tired of this fandom pretending hes not

[vox-ex]

seasons + stars

supercorptober 2023

“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I'm gazing at a distant star." ― Haruki Murakami

or Kara deals with the impermanence of herself and the permanence of her love

----

Kara comes to Earth in the Spring.

On the backs of stars she will never see again she carries their dust with her, lays it down in soil tasked with bearing witness to ghosts that are not its own.

The stars that are a part of her become a part of it.

She spends days in the forest, the bright blue sky above her, Sol at her back, Rao in her chest, through the vibrant green trees, across flowers that bloom in hues of yellows and oranges.

She lays out at night on the roof, tries to trace the inky black as far into the distance as she can. Far enough she might still see a light that hasn't been replaced by darkness yet.

The stars will soon become a part of her — she will eventually become a part of them too.

Summer comes with long days and short nights and she misses the stars.

Autumn rushes in with skies that almost feel familiar.

Winter nights are long and cold. She stays out late with the stars again. Speaks to the scattered bits of light — the scattered bits of herself.

Year after year, she is dismantled and reassembled by the seasons that come and go. Until all the bits of stardust she had carried with her from Krypton are all gone. Until she is made of new stars and new dust and new atoms. And what is gone? What is gone is put back into the space to begin again somewhere else.

But then what of her?

Is Kara Zor El somewhere in space?

Is she buried in the soil on Earth?

Is she shoved inside the chest of this other her?

Will she always be two versions different of herself at once?

Kara leaves Earth in the Spring.

Sol at her back, and nothing but darkness ahead.

She doesn't choose to leave, but she is gone all the same.

She meets ghosts she thought were all gone. Buried somewhere between Krypton and Earth — lost with the parts of herself that she too had been buried.

Her own ghost is there.

Haunts her with the parts of herself she wants to hold onto but can't.

Taunts her with the parts of herself she begs to replace but can't.

Kara comes back to Earth in the Summer.

"August of another summer, and once again I am drinking the sun"

She isn't sure what she is made of now.

Isn't sure how long it will take to shed it from her skin.

Isn't sure who she will be when it's gone.

She is just tired, she thinks, of this struggle of atoms, of time, of feeling broken apart.

But she looks up at the sky that night. Find stars again instead of darkness.

Thinks of how they are each a part of Earth, or Krypton, of her.

She is tired, she thinks, but she is also thankful.

It's Autumn when the world almost ends.

The world almost ends, and she realizes she wants more time — needs more time.

It's Autumn when it starts again.

Not in the way one thinks of worlds beginning — in the way of galaxies and of universes — big bangs expanding all at once.

But in the way we do. Slowly. Little by Little.

It begins again with green eyes and dark hair.

It settles into gentle touches and quiet words.

Kara stands at the edge of a field, her feet sinking slightly into the damp forest floor. Leaves scatter across the ground with with freshly fallen pine needles. It smells like cold, like the winter that is coming.

Lena's hand slips into hers, fingers threading together with practiced ease.

Slow.

Gentle.

She feels a droplet of water cling to her skin, just cold enough that she can feel it, can tell it a part from the warmth of Lena's hand in hers.

"I can't believe it's so dark already?"

Kara follows her gaze up to the first stars just peeking through the gaps in the trees.

Meeting Lena first came at the end of a Summer.

Meeting Lena came, and the world softened just a little — just enough.

Slowly.

Little by little.

In all the months between, all the years, all the seasons. They have both been taken apart and put back together, over and over and over.

Sometimes by the universe.

Sometimes by each other.

But amidst the endless dance of stars and the perpetual renewal of atoms, the part of them that loved the other, had always been left whole, over and over and over.

And there are still days where she is not sure who she is — who she is supposed to be with this patchwork collection of particles stuffed into herself.

But then Lena will take her hand and thread their fingers together just like this, and it will feel like each one of them has found it's place and a purpose all over again.

-----

read and follow along on Ao3 too

[pinksilvace]

Some eternally unfinished painting practice with a sketch from a few weeks back that accidentally turned into a fabric study

[rosie-kairi]

Dry-Erase marker cowboy who wishes you luck with your academics

[rikufanclub]

"  I know that I have to stand up with these feet.   Both love and pain, I want to take on everything. "

recreated frames from ‘little cry of the abyss’

[dailykugisaki]

Day 120 | id in alt

Be real. It looks like Itadori and Fushiguro have unholy thin ankles.

(I will be participating in the global strike btw! So no posts until 26 or 27th💥)

[sochilll]

The thoughts I have about Jared Kleinman inside my brain:

Explaining them:

[wasntadandelion]

I just remembered there is a mental ward in Scala that they threw Baldr into were he was consumed by the Darkness because they literally just left him there-

This means the Mental Wards will be like, the bad one-

Meaning...

I am now VERY worried about Brain and Player (Link)

[anonymousewrites]

42070 words

137 pages

21 chapters

1 book

A Study of the Heart and Brain (Book 3) is finished!

It's coming February 15th, 2024. I can't wait to share it with you all.

[purple8cat]

I THOUGHT THIS PART FROM VNC CHAPTER 62 LOOKED FAMILIAR

i mean they're not. the exact same but they are very similar to each other!!

Also this could just be me but I feel like that these two have a lot of parallels. Break's family are the Rainsworths, who are not his biological family. Johann's family is Dante and Riche, who also not his biological family.

When someone they care about dies/gets threaten their first instinct is murder. When the Sinclairs died Break killed 116 people to bring them back, and when he thought Reim had been permanently dead he killed Fang. When Vanitas had threaten to kill Dante, Johann told him that he'll kill him if he meddles with his family.

Another thing they have in common is that there both, how do I put this, angry in some way/some point in their life? Break had been bitter and depress after returning from the Abyss but then learned to smile again because of Shelly. Johann... Okay, I can't say much about Johann because not much has been revealed about him yet BUT he definitely is sketchy!! With how the Dhampirs are treated it wouldn't be far off to say he would be angry at the world/society. He also has been shown to not like Noé much. Johann has also been shown to be very protective of Dante and Riche, so it's possible that he could've been similar to how Break had acted in the past, and now has something to live for and would do ANYTHING to protect it.

Another thing I'm just now realizing and probably should've brought up first but they have similar vibes/atmospheres. Though Johann is more flirtatious and Break is more... Weird. I guess. Eccentric, if you want a fancy word. They're also have this whole... How do I explain it? They're good at observing/analyzing things is I guess the best way to explain it?

I think I'm gonna stop there, there was something else I kind of wanted to talk about but I think it was a little bit of a stench fkdjgfjdf. I could be wrong about some of these, I didn't mean to write this much so basically all of it I wrote on a whim. Whatever my brain thought of I wrote down which resulted in this (which reading over it might be noticeable considering this post is kinda a mess kgjkfjgjfj). There's also the fact that some of the Johann stuff was just speculation, which could 100% be wrong. But I do think some of it I'm right about!!

[fangirl-lilith]

An avid collector - [3rd Corazon AU]

[neverbelessthan]

I just read someone’s hot take on ‘the mermaid scene’ being ‘peak cringe’ and I just-

Sweet, sweet human. That’s Ed’s psyche you’re taking about. My dude is having his life flash before his eyes in the most beautiful little heartbreaking s1 montage, and if that’s how he wants to picture Stede coming to redeem his lonely fucking soul - as a glittery goddamn tits-out merman, then that’s HIS GODDAMN BUSINESS.

[waspgrave]

played overwatch for the first time in months and am going through 5 stages of grief realizing i missed out on moira's mythic skin. also that i'm playing overwatch. that's grief worthy too

[noes-pillow]

OHMYGOD YOU GUYS!!!

GUYS IM CRYING REAL TEARS IM SO HAPPY AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY

@vanoezine you guys are fkn REAL ones, thank you 💜