the basis of iako's backstory i have so far is her literally having to fight to survive as a kid and young teen and engaging in illegal fighting pits to get by before being taken in by this recruiter in the fighting industry. this guy refined her kickboxing skills and gave her a warm bed and food, but also treated this as a privilege he could take away so to owe him she had to make him money by fighting and giving him a good name. she didn't necessarily have to win the fight but had to last long enough to put on a good show. she was literally treated like a dog but she didn't mind because the simple things were enough for her but this didn't make her stupid, she was actually surprisingly observant underneath her temper and impulsivity.
honestly this was supposed to be a post about how iako actually has a bit of religious guilt as before getting recruited, she spent her nights sleeping in a church and when she wasn't fighting, sitting in on services because it was warmer in there than it was outside. did she believe in any god? no. she did believe in the devil though as that's what she was she constantly called by the adults around her. when she wasn't a dog, she was a devil, when she wasn't a devil she was a dog and this caused her to never really think of herself as... a human? she's driven constantly by instincts and its kept her alive until now.
shaking myself (very gently) . being in pain takes a lot of energy!!!!!! being in pain is exhausting!!!!!!! you are not lazy or weak because you need to spend so much time resting, this is your body coping with how much pain you’re in literally 24/7!!!!!!!!!