lovemygirlswithmore

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

like I feel like Sugar's "did you know I recently had a brother die, too?" does say a lot about how stuck in his own head Carmy can get but at the same time i don't think he's completely oblivious. the thing i keep coming back to is that he's actually very emotionally intelligent/intuitive, like he can read a room and empathize with people and on some level understand what they might be feeling, it's just that when it comes to trying to talk about it he completely stalls out. which is actually a major thing that's showcased in episode 5, is that he's really good at picking up on and kind of working with/bouncing off other people bc he is kinda intuitive like that!! it's just the communication aspect of it all that he sucks at. so you end up with stuff like the opening scene with Syd, just this kind of unspoken communication and half-finished sentences (bc I think she kind of has a similar intuition, just that her thing is that she can't NOT discuss stuff, which can be both good and bad as, ya know, anything can, but that's a different post), and you end up with that interaction he has with Tina about his mom and the smacksmacksmack of the spoon against his palm bc he can't figure out how to say what that conversation makes him feel, or you end up with him knowing that Sugar is gonna be upset and trying to mitigate that (to cut back on stress for himself but also maybe for her, too; like, to spare them both the argument), and you end up with the conversation he has in the alley with Marcus. like, yeah Carmy may be absolute crap at talking about feelings (even the scene with Marcus steers mostly away from emotions talk; except for the one line about making all his anxiety go away, it's all very grounded in actions and happenings) but he's not stupid. he's actually REALLY good at reading people, he's just crap at communicating. (but the thing is, he TRIES. he's Aware that he sucks at this and he is TRYING for his own sake and for the sake of everyone around him. and that's like... half the point, isn't it? choosing to get better [at things, or just in the way of healing]?)