#ableist noodlehair

[thenugking]

This Christmas I am holding out the olive branch to cullen fans I might hate that guy but at least he’s not greg fucking ellis I’m sorry y’all

[[Image description: The “Epic Handshake” meme. The handshake is labelled “Hating Greg Ellis” and the two people are labelled “Cullen Fans” and “Cullen Haters”]]

[thenugking]

[thenugking]

Image Descriptions beneath the cut

[[Image 1: the Bernie Sanders meme, reading, “I am once again making fun of Greg Ellis. End ID.

Image 2: the “car turning right” meme. The car is labelled “Greg Ellis,” the route straight on is labelled, “Getting Hired by Bioware Again” and the route the car’s turning onto is labelled, “Giving Bioware a really good reason to sue him”. End ID

Image 3: A woman labelled “Mark Darrah” points angrily at a woman labelled “Greg Ellis, while hugging a man labelled, “The Dragon Age fandom”. End ID.

Image 4: The “old man looking at a computer” meme. The computer is labelled, “My Name is Cullen. Cullen... Rutherford. I am a popular fictional character from the video game Dragon Age. Recently a small vocal mob of social justice warriors attempted to have me, and my voice actor, Greg Ellis, tossed in the cancel culture wastelands.” The second image, with the old man looking at the camera, is left blank.

Image 5: The “laughing Lord Farquad” meme, simply labelled, “Greg Ellis”.]]

[thenugking]

we’re bringing back cancel culture but for greg ellis Only

[thenugking]

[[image description: the “mocking spongebob” meme, reading “the inTersEctIoNal moB are cAnCel cuLtuRe hEdonIsTs pRetenDinG to hAte cApiTalisM in tHe pAniC-deMiC”]]

[thenugking]

I cannot believe I live in a timeline where Gr*g Ellis so effortlessly sabotaged his own damn career and pretty much guaranteed that Noodle Boy will either be recast or killed off entirely (sorry not sorry to the people who romanced Noodle as a Mage Inquisitor)

YUPPPP.

Greg Ellis has unintentiionally given me the greatest gift I could ever recieve.

[thenugking]

Reading your blog was the best and the worst thing for me cause a) greg ellis is a piece of shit and it's hilarious and b) cause even though i love the noodleman, your takes are scorching hot and I am a sloot for shitty characters (and giving them total rehauls so they can have CANON redemption arcs) and I absolutely have a love-hate relationship with people eviscerating him. Like if he wasn't 1 of my comfort characters, I would love if he were just gone. There are so many better choices. TBC

Tbc So like thanks for hitting the "need noodleman critical posts so I can distract myself from my actual problems and then  feel better cause I can write/create characters that can achieve redemption than actual writers; And I too am capable of dealing with my mistakes because if I can enjoy the bad noodleman, i sure as hell want to be a better person.". To be clear this is a genuine thank you, and not sarcastic at all. So thanks it was fun! Your OCs seem cool, too! Have a nice day!

Thank you! This is Very Much a noodleman negative zone, so I am glad you are happy being here.

I’m kind of the same with solas. I love this piece of shit, but also I love people fucking eviscerating him, get that fucker.

[thenugking]

I was today years old when I found out that Greg Ellis (Cullen VA) is an alt-right Tr*mp supporting POS so that's one more reason to dunk on Noodle and hope he gets killed off in DA4

Yepppppp. Noodle is the Worst, but his VA is not only the Worst, but regrettably real. He hopefully won’t be in DA4 though, as much as I’d like to canonically kill him on screen that does mean having to see him again, and more employment for Greg Ellis.

[thenugking]

*flame emoji* cullen

oh boy I mean where to begin!!

But I mean like hating him isn’t that unpopular, even if he has a regrettably large number of fans like i need to do more than just say i hate him and he’s creepy. (also saying he’s creepy isn’t an opinion it’s a fucking fact tbh)

ANYWAY as an actual Unpopular Opinion, I think he’s a really amazing and fascinating character who I genuinely enjoy when written as a villain. I love how he tries to justify all of his creepiness and evilness and tries to convince himself he’s the good golden boy the fandom and bioware like to act as if he is. And his self loathing but for all the wrong reasons (how can he be attracted to a mage, of all things, instead of how can he support this fucking system). He’s a dedicated lawful evil character and I feel like he’s a very rare but super interesting evil Hufflepuff. Written as a villain with no sympathetic “oh but this is hard for him Too” he’s just so creepy and scary in a good way (rather than the normal way, in which he’s creepy and scary because loads of people love him and refuse to acknowledge how fucking evil he is).

[thenugking]

Hi! Um, odd question to spring on you out of the blue, but if all your Wardens got together in a pub somewhere, how would they all get on?

Griffon, Mahariel and Orlena are Too Autistic for this shit and find a quiet corner to escape to. They end up having a good conversation about the stress of the Blight and of other people’s expectations and Griffon ends up asking Mahariel and Orlena some stuff about Daish and Circle culture they want to know but have been awkward asking about. In return, Mahariel asks Griffon about some noble stuff he doesn’t get. Griffon doesn’t get it either. Neither does Orlena. They complain about nobles.

Meanwhile Lorrel is adopting Everyone, whether they like it or not. Vari likes it a lot because this is essentially her grandmother and she’s really cool, and Seren’s really excited about having a city elf declare that she’s family now. She wants to know Everything about life in an alienage, which Vari and Lorrel kind of agree is “it sucks but also we’re the Greatest, and will fight anyone else who says it sucks.”

Elora tells Lorrel she doesn’t need or want a grandmother, or any family. In between mocking her little brother Thosk for all his shitty life choices. Which Thosk takes, because okay fair he has made some really shitty life choices. But some of the rest of you must have made shitty choices too right??? Isaline agrees that yes, she did. She’s not going to go into it. Mags says she did everything wrong, which Isaline and Lorrel tell her they’re sure isn’t true. Mihren says humans deserve what they get. Lacha isn’t comparing her mistakes to some fucking dwarven noble’s, and would prefer not to speak to Elora or Thosk at all actually. 

Annabeth is…… not going to be doing at all well considering she did a lot of Terrible Things in the pursuit of stopping the Blight Whatever The Cost, at the knowledge that 13 other people were able to stop the Blight without being fucking terrible about it. But if we’re being nice, we can have pre-dead family and Blight Annabeth, who is incredibly down to party and hang out with all this fun new people and hey do any of them want to make out maybe?? Therlia has no objections to that.

Mags is very shy and awkward, and Lacha, who doesn’t want to be here at all and sees no reason to hang out with these people, sighs and starts talking to her. She tells Mags a lot of stuff about her life and her own feelings on leadership and People, and ends up giving Mags some blunt but very helpful advice. Mags isn’t sure whether or not Lacha likes her at all (she does).

Therlia, Isaline and Mihren end up having a very deep discussion about how terrible Circles are and the stuff they suffered there. Seren tells them her girlfriend was made Tranquil but would prefer to go back to talking to her City Elf friends instead of saying more about it. After a while of just talking about her abusive templar ex, Isaline lets slip his name. Therlia and Mihren are very quick to agree that yeah, Cullen Rutherford is the fucking worst. Seren looks back over and vehemently agrees. Orlena approaches the main table for the first time that night to tell everyone that yeah that guy’s a massive creep. No one else likes him either.

So tl;dr there are some disagreements and then everyone bands together to talk about how much they hate cullen rutherford

[thenugking]

Ok, so. I have never done Champions of the Just except when playing an evil Inquisitor. But I will admit there was something immensely therapeutic about watching Cu//en get his throat slit by Leliana. Even if it was a Leliana-shaped demon.

Yeah honestly. Like I’m sure real Leliana would approve too.

(Also have you played Darkspawn Chronicles? bc having an ogre kill him in it is Also very therapeutic. Even if u then sadly have to go and kill everyone else in Origins too.)

[thenugking]

the mages circle wasn’t based on neurodivergent people it was based on lgb people... and you laughed at someone calling cullen a nancy which is... a homophobic slur ??? so ableism’s bad but homophobia’s fine ????

A) They’re based on neurodivergent people. Like where are you even getting lgb from? Like I could Explain fully but I doubt you’d listen so I really don’t have the energy but like. it’s neurodivergent people.

B) Until just now I thought n*ncy meant, like, dumbass. I did not know it was a slur for effeminate men. I apologise for laughing at that.

C) I had to dig back through my noodlehair tag to find the instance you’re referring to because I could not remember it. It happened seven months ago. On a post that’s never been reblogged. How did you even find that??? Where you just digging through my blog to find anything homophobic you could???

D) Not really sure how good your own lgbt+ politics are since you missed out the t there. Sorry if I’m getting the wrong idea here, but that sort of thing sets off warning bells.

E) I’m super fucking gay???????

[thenugking]

I know Cullen triggers you, but- Cullen and Isaline in the Gallows and 'Hellfire' from Hunchback of Notre Dame? It just- it seems to fit really well with their dynamic during that period, and I *love* the psychological horror element of their relationship.

Oh wow that it a really good song for them, thank!! (I don’t think I’ve ever watched Hunchback of Notre Dame and haven’t heard the song before.) Very disturbing and very good!!

[thenugking]

So I don't want to seem like a Cullen apologist, which I know isn't a great start, but I enjoy Cullen as a character because I think he represents how trauma can affect your whole life and how templars are highly subject to "the backfire effect" when it comes to changing indoctrination. Which is not to say Cullen isn't responsible for continuing abusive mindsets, but it is important to note that he's not against romancing a radical mage girl who doesn't like templars, too. So what's the truth?

idk exactly what you mean by “what’s the truth” like, what’s the truth about cullen?? the truth is he sucks and he’s a gross abusive jerk. like sorry if i’m being harsh but if you’re coming onto my blog to talk about noodlehair, you should be prepared for that. and i mean there are better people than me to go to to have a discussion on how much cullen sucks that you start with “I enjoy cullen as a character”. like, people who aren’t regularly triggered by cullen positivity maybe. (I wasn’t triggered here but i’ve had a long day and i am Not in the mood for this.)

So yeah anyway he sucks. His trauma or the backfire effect don’t change that. and like does he represent how trauma can affect your whole life? like sure his trauma makes his anti-mage views more extreme but?? he already begged to be part of the templar order and was fine with killing mages who failed their harrowing and had a really obvious crush on one of the people he had life and death control over, while being upset that she was a Thing he couldn’t have. and he could easily have got to be as extemely anti-mage as he is in da2 just by hanging around kinnloch hold a bit longer under normal circumstances. anyway ptsd doesn’t excuse you from being an abuser.

Him being able to romance a mage isn’t a good thing, the romance is really uncomfortable considering the way he is about mages, I really wish bioware hadn’t included it. And like, if the mage is such a radical templar hater, why is she romancing a templar (sure, he’s left the order by then but he still thinks and acts like a templar)? Like, that’s just. not going to be a healthy relationship. On Cullen’s side, he doesn’t get “not that gross about mages” points for dating a mage. You can date people in groups you hate. Like, how many men date women while being incredibly misogynistic? I don’t know exactly how he responds to a romanced inquisitor going “mages deserve rights and i hate templars” because I... don’t romance cullen but since he disagrees with them aand isn’t going to change that, I don’t see how it makes for a good relationship.

Or if the argument is he gets “not that gross about mages” points for not dumping someone who expresses beliefs very different from his own, like, the games just... aren’t that detailed. like, you can date zevran while genociding the dalish clan he begs you to spare. you can date anders while being pro-templar and fenris while being pro-slavery. If you do the things without them in the party, they won’t even lose approval, and it doesn’t affect the in-game relationship at all. That’s a mechanics things. It doesn’t mean these relationships would be healthy, realistically. same with the gross noodly templar and the radical templar hating mage.

anyway. cullen sucks.

[thenugking]

look i can at least see why people find Inquisition!Noodlehair attractive but honestly Origins!Noodlehair looks like a sweaty nerd who doesn’t know how to talk to women and bitterly joins r/incels to rant about his failure to get a girlfriend i just don’t know how anyone ever decided this guy was attractive

[thenugking]

Let’s be real, Noodlehair is only popular because people see him as Alistair 2.0, even though Alistair is a million times better as both a person and a character.

Idk that’s one of the reasons people like him now but he also had loads of fans in Origins, when he really, really wasn’t. And like the only reasons I can see that people liked him in Origins are that he’s blonde and white and abuse is romanticised.