#about the only thing i've noticed with no empirical data to back this up is that miles wears more rings more often than alex but doesnt

[sophaeros]

fifty shows into the fit comp i have had the thought "should i include shots of their hands in case someone wants to see what jewelry theyre wearing" can someone sedate me please im in tears

[thehopelessexception]

how can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22 (almost 24)

warning: im writing this while im on my period and eating ice cream.

i've been dissociating for what now? half a year maybe more. i dont recognize reality. i feel im floating in this sea we call society and i've been feeling the wilson of the story here. i assume everything that's happening around me is real, ofc. but that doesnt make it any less a convenient arrangement i build for myself to try to act like a real person and not freak out. i am feeling out of reality. like the part of the game where you let the sim on auto-mode. i am the sim on auto-mode. and i don't know how to stop this stage of oblivion.

to make a vague introduction, the thing with me is that im a living paradox of a full time contradiction. i am flamboyant but i hate being perceived. i like to speak up for myself but i hate people thinking about me because of it. i have my own process of how i understand things. i trust logic and i question everything. im quite skeptical over things when there's no empirical evidence. i seek for knowledge. critical thinking, data analysis and the whole stuff. i know myself. i sometimes look like i am too obnoxious, frivolous, morally corrupted (people have told me that), when i obsess over something —because i sometimes treat people like they are stupid (not my intention really)—; but probably the only thing im completely sure of is myself. i tend to be a confident person, to have an ego, to not let the guard down, to calculate every single move. and lately i am noticing myself being impulsive, insecure, nervous, weird, saying stupid shit, nonsenses, feeling small. and i don't know how to make it stop. the thing is i put my whole self-esteem backed up by my intelligence, however im not sure of anything anymore. i don't know if the reason behind not recognising myself lately is the fact i have somehow a new crush —or a new hyperfixation for that matter— or just the natural act of growing, also known as the quarter life crisis.

i have this thing where i hyperfix on random stuff, i've been like this my whole life. one of my friends even made a powerpoint of all the things i've been obsessed with over the years. and the issue here is that this things never last that much, or maybe they do? i actually never though about it. the most random ones i remember are probably me buying ice-cream cakes of this specific brand every week for two months. i also got obsessed with eating too many scrambled eggs all day every day for a very long time. then it was that turkish telenovela on an airing channel. then ofc succession, and it grew into watching every single movie kieran culkin was part of. the world cup. mbti —im intj by the way—. red white and royal blue (i watched it five times in a day), then nicholas galitzine —did yk he has a lineage that comes all the way from the romanovs?— and his entire filmography. and also politics, i got way into politics; election campaigns, follow up candidates, history, economy, the law, etc (my candidate lost tho) (we're succumbing to disgrace) (like literally we collectively, as a country, haven't had any kind of good news since then) (please help me). and etc etc. but the thing is, i also hyperfix on random people, or not so random i guess. it doesnt happen very often tho, im quite picky, but the procedure is this: i meet someone, they draw somehow my attention, i want to know everything about this person, i talk to this person a lot (medium to long term) (week to months), and then this person becomes my friend or i get bored and completely ignore them for the rest of my life and move on.

but this time is different, or im feeling it different. i find myself questioning everything i know and i was convinced of. i dont know if it has something to do with the fact that i met someone, probably the first person wise enough to make me question if i was ever correct about anything. maybe i am hyperfixating on this person, idealizing them. but it's truly amazing how much more data this person has about everything i know of. and right now i feel way too insecure, because even if this person told me they find me smart and they enjoy talking to me, i am always thinking that if i say something not completely fact-checked they'll think im stupid. it's absurd. it's a boohoo situation, i know. and it's a process im having about who am i, or what am i supposed to be. some months ago the whole context around my life changed or i think it changed? i dont know how to explain it, —i mean i know how but i would have to talk about other things not related to this (politics stuff, things happening in my country, etc). i'll probably will make a new post about it someday—. but the whole issue is, i dont know myself anymore. and everything is crumbling.

im afraid the person i build for myself it's a fraud. or doesnt exist anymore.

i remember myself at 18, and i was this marvellous whole person. independent, smart, focused, driven. that girl spent their whole days outside her house. did everything she wanted to. wasnt scared of anything. and i look at myself now and think how? the pandemic has a lot to do with it i guess, but when i first heard taylor saying that in nothing new i thought "that wont happen to me". guess what, i was wrong.

for my fellow girlies being 23 —in my experience— is exactly how they say it will be. the worst age of your life.

next month is my birthday and im pushing 24. and i have to say my life is a mess. but i dont know if i can call it a mess because it is truly a mess or because i am a complete drama queen. because people probably have worse problems than mine, and i am what you call a white girl, only poorer —and a third world country citizen—. the issue is, i am almost 24, almost 25. almost 27. ALMOST 30. and i did nothing with my life. absolutely nothing. my mom had me at 29 for god's sake.

and by nothing i mean everything i do is not enough to feel it worthy of a life well-lived. should i look for a job and work while studying just to say i am extremely occupied because i have somehow a life? just to feel something? even if that makes my stress situation and anxiety even worse? should i somehow save enough money so i can move from my parents house? even if for my whole generation it's close to impossible? is studying something i (kinda) like enough to not feel like shit about myself? i've never had a boyfriend, nor girlfriend. shoud i look for one? get myself one? even if i dont think any of that would make me happy? i dont think i know happiness as a state of mind, nor the concept of it.

i dont feel like i have many anecdotes to tell in my future. should i measure the life-worth by anecdotes? my friends feel the same way i do, but they have a more organized life. jobs, boyfriends, careers, plans for the future, one of my closest friends move to the other side of the world with her boyfriend (!) in the blink of an eye. but they aren't much happy nor they have many anecdotes either. and i dont have the money or the guts or the available friends to create any.

every day i understand fleabag a bit more.

my favourite anecdotes about my life are from when i was about 13 and 15 years, also known as the worst time of my life. i didnt appreciated it back then, probably none of us did. but when we were teens everything was possible and we didnt have a care on anything other than mundane stuff or rebellious stuff but nothing more than yelling at people, drinking and smoking weird shit (i never had weed tho). not a real responsibility. being careless, free, avoiding consequences that mattered. i think that girl hates me right now. and i am not sure if that's the feeling i should have or if it's just utterly pathetic.

[sohin-ace]

Retirement Note

Hello my gangsters.

I hope you are doing wonderful and healthy in this early 2022.

As you may have noticed, I hardly have been active on any of my accounts lately.

I've written this message over 5 times and have been trying to avoid it for 2 months, like a coward.

I wanted to keep this short, yet, my best friends have advised me to explain and tell you the truth of all that happened, and I agree, you deserve to know.

Due to a serie unfortunate events, I am pushed to terminate my career as a fanfic writer.

There are exactly three reasons for that, but one in particular was the catalyst.

1 . You may certainly not know, but my health has been deteriorating for the past year, and even more so since Summer 2021.

I developped chronic migraines, sensory overload and my immune system is getting weaker and weaker. I get sickly like never before, so writing, among other activities, for long hours have been more straining than ever, especially for my eyes.

I could push through though.

2. I've been getting more and more responsibilities as the years went by. I'm not 18 anymore, writing out that first Bakugo fanfic sitting bored in college, before dropping out without remorse, not caring what would become of me.

I'm 22 now, have many people that all are very dependant of me.

You may joke that I'm a 'mom friend', but there's always a part of truth in a joke.

They would be lost without me.

I also have a life-long project that takes a lot out of me, and as much as I love writing for you beautiful gangsters, I have to choose the empire I'm building for myself and, once it's done, I'd be more than happy to show you what I've accomplished, if any of you are still here when that time comes.

Then why am I retiring so soon? Time and health can be balanced easily right...?

3. What is pushing me to stop is that, on the 1st of January precisely, technology has eventually failed me, and my phone died.

Pretty mundane, it happens to the best of us. But none of my data was able to be recovered. Nothing. Not a spec.

And that includes all two years worth of fanfictions, drafts, requests, ideas that I had ready for you. It's a miracle I even got my accounts back to recount this.

I know, it's really underwhelming of a reason, but for all the time and effort I've spent, I can not imagine redoing all of that work all over again. Especially with the two factors I've mentionned earlier. I don't have that luxury anymore, neither the time, or the strength. It's over for me.

I was planning on retiring sometimes this year actually. I was planning on finishing up my current written fics, post them all and close the requests so I could retire in peace.

I'm not in the right place to dedicate my life to writing anymore, be it health-wise, or priority-wise.

I wished I could have continued a few more years in fact, I had it all planned out, but alas, things happen in life that are out of our control, and all we can do is move on.

However I don't wish to mourn over the epitaph of my own grave, I still do want to spread positivity in my gang ✧

Something tells me this was just a sign. Whether you believe in signs and fate or not, I sure do. And I guess fate forced himself onto me to let me know what I had to focus on and what I had to leave behind.

All is good, my gangsters. Please don't worry your little faces about me. Everything will be okay.

The future is bright for all of us. As they say, "Don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened."

I love you. I truly do. And I spent amazing hours writing for you, reading all your hilarious comments, your sweet messages and reactions. If anything, I'll miss these the most. I'll miss you the most.

I'm sorry for those who are disappointed. I am as well.

I apologize for all the unkept promises.

I thank all of you for the endless love and support. You have been only sweet to me and this decision was not taken lightly, or without guilt.

Your presence have given me something I never had the privilege to experience, and that is Love. The wave of warmth in my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, the electricity down my spine. All of the things I write in my fics, it's all you.

I want to give a special thank you to:

@cocojumbohno , for using your notoriety to give me visibility. If it wasn't for you, I would have never been seen on this plaftorm.

@gio-is-writing , for being a friend.

And of course, Thanks to you, reading this. Take amazing care. Drink water, get some sleep, prioritize health and mental health.

I hope my stories brought a little sliver of peace in your day.

You will always be my gangsters and this gang will always be open for you.

I love you. I love each and every single one of you.

I will stay for a bit to answer some of your messages. And on that...

I take off with a smile, so please send me off with one too.

Thank you, and goodbye 💙

※ Sohin Ace ※

[rahabs]

How are you staying active during quarantine? I just tipped into 180lbs, highest I've ever been, and I'm getting really depressed about it 😔 I've only gained about 7-8 pounds due to the quarantine, but back in January I was at 163, and I'm really struggling with the fact that I'm back up again after how hard I've been working. It feel like I can't get the weight to stay off, now esp. (Sorry for the mini rant, but I actually followed you Bc of your fitness posts, I appreciate them a lot

Many hugs to you, Anon, and there is no need to apologise 🖤  You are definitely not alone.  I have also been struggling a lot with my weight recently (I have deliberately been putting on muscle, about 25lbs of it, but it is still a struggle to do so and to feel sometimes like my work getting down from 210lbs is being reversed--I am up to 145-150lbs myself, even though I still fit most all of my clothes from when I was 122lbs), but please do not be too hard on yourself!  Some of that weight gain might be muscle, but I understand how frustrating and demoralising it can be nonetheless, I really do.  Like... I really, really cannot emphasise enough how much I understand and how much I get what you’re going through right now, and I wish with all my heart that you weren’t going through it, because it hurts and it makes you just feel awful and so I am really and truly wishing you all the best right now, but also I have the utmost faith in you and despite the setback it is nothing that you cannot fix going forward 🖤

To answer your question, I’ve been doing a mix of things, but the two biggest things for me are that I built myself a routine, and I try to just walk everywhere that I can.  Also, I track in an app called MyFitnessPal, because I need to hold myself accountable.  The gyms in my city have recently opened back up and I have usually been going five times a week (reduced capacity and you can only go for an hour, but I use every second of that hour because cardio is how I best manage OCD/PTSD/anxiety, and I love love love seeing some beloved familiar strangers at the gym--we all wave happily to each other, since we tend to book the same time slots 🖤), but before they opened up my biggest friend was just walking.  I have a lot of joint issues due to my improperly healed torn hip flexor and my former obesity, so I can’t run, but you don’t need to run.  Walking is your best friend.  Or even household chores.  I used to work for a landscaping company, so when I can I will help with the yardwork (even though I dislike it--I try to find ways to make it more fun, and I genuinely enjoy being out in the sun, so there’s that at least).  I make sure things stay tidy, I’ve been writing a lot and trying to see friends when I can, or get out to hike in the mountains.  If I go grocery shopping and I’m waiting in a line, sometimes I’ll lazily bicep-curl my grocery bags.  I’ll walk to the mailbox, I’ll walk through the neighbourhood, I’ll walk to the grocery store or to the nearest gas station.  My dogs are old so I cannot walk them anymore, especially since we are under a heat wave, but I’ll get up and play with them.  Bottom line: if I could find somewhere to walk and an excuse to walk there, I would.  When I couldn’t, I would sit down and exercise by following my favourite home workout YouTube channel.  (Seriously, she is amazing; I’ve followed her for years, since her channel was just starting out.  I just got a half-sleeve tattoo and cannot use a lot of gym equipment at the moment so I have gone back to her videos, as she provides a lot of modifications and alternatives and just so many good at-home exercises that you don’t need any fancy equipment for.)

The routine is the most important part, though.  I need structure, and if I have structure I find that I am less likely to binge, because my brain won’t freak out as much (whether out of boredom or something else).

You might know this already but I’m a (recovering) binge-eater and I also eat when bored or stressed, so I’ve just been trying to occupy myself with things other than food.  I had a really bad spot for awhile where I was doing really, really poorly in that department an binged every day, but I finally put my foot down last week and this is the longest that I’ve been binge-free in months.  I also have BDD, which I am working on (hard going when my attempts to ask the people around me for help often fall on deaf ears).

I think it’s important to realise that fitness and weight loss isn’t always linear.  There will be times where you falter and stumble and when that happens it’s important not to punish yourself--instead just accept and acknowledge that it’s happened and adapt for the future.  Like a little AAA battery!  Bodies are also weird, and sometimes they react to things strangely.  I’m not a professional in any way, but since working to put on some muscle I have noticed that women’s bodies at least like... they are strange things sometimes.   And I know it sounds weird, but try not to put too much emphasis on a number on the scale.  I’m not saying “get rid of the scale!” or “smash the scale!” or anything silly like that because I think to some people having the scale is really important, so long as it doesn’t become something obsessive you fixate on (I have severe OCD, professionally diagnosed, so easier said than done, but it’s doable by adding it to the routine and picking one day a week where I check in), but make sure it doesn’t become a focal point of your weight loss.

Instead, just notice how your clothes are fitting.  If you have body tape, you can use that too.  Pick a favourite pair of jeans and just see how they fit over time, or a favourite bra, or something that doesn’t stretch as easily as yoga pants.  Again, some of your recent weight gain might actually be muscle mass, especially if you aren’t noticing a lot of change in how your clothes from January fit.  When I first hit 145lbs when I was first losing the weight, I didn’t look like I do at my current 145-150lbs, after having got down to 120 and then making the decision to put some muscle back on.  Save for some jean shorts that I bought at my lowest weight, because I build thick muscles in my thighs, I still fit all the clothes I bought and wore at 120lbs--including my fitted dresses, my Stampede jeans, most of my bras, and the pair of “check Lulus” I bought because those things are without mercy.  I also have a couple really good friends I check in with who know me and who I can trust to tell me the truth when I cannot perceive it myself.  And, when I’m being honest with it (which I am trying really hard to be again), I have MyFitnessPal, which has been with me through thick and thin.

If you can, I would recommend a good fitness tracker, too.  Fitbit is really good and user-friendly.  I have a Garmin now, because Fitbit doesn’t make adult watches or watch bands small enough for my ridiculous baby bird wrists, but I had my Fitbit for years before that and it saw me through the vast majority of my weight loss/fitness quest.  It can be very helpful to just help you gauge where you are; most people grossly overestimate how active they actually are, and if you’re up for it, a tracker can be helpful in giving you empirical data from which you can base some better decisions around.

And just do you best to stay active.   I do not know if you have any gyms where you live or if they’re open, but I would really recommend getting a membership, though I totally understand that gyms are not for everyone.  If not, I really do recommend checking out that youtube channel I linked (Koboko Fitness), and just doing your best to walk wherever there’s the option to walk (and it won’t cause undue hardship/pain/etc).  Lift some boxes around the house.  Turn doing the dishes into a stretching exercise.  If you’re familiar with yoga, do yoga (I do not because I am not familiar with it and it can be dangerous to people like me with joint issues to start if you don’t have anyone around who can tell you if you’re doing it right, but my younger sister is working on a cert and she does yoga daily, even with the baby bump).  Many gyms are offering online classes right now too, including the gyms I go to (GoodLife Fitness in Canada), so they can be worth checking out too!

But also just know you’re not in that boat alone.  Many people are struggling right now, including myself, so if you ever need to chat my inbox and my DMs are always open (and I can toss my Discord handle out too if that helps), because a support system can really make all the difference.  I never had one for the longest time, and so when I fell back on old, bad habits it took me awhile to pull myself out of it (again).  I really can talk about this forever but I will stop myself now because I am a chatty cathy but!  Please feel free to send messages whenever you want, Anon, and please be kind to yourself!  I know it’s scary and I know it’s disappointing because I have been there many a time but you can do this, I believe in you!  You’ve had a setback but it isn’t anything that can’t be fixed/corrected and I have faith that you will be able to get back on the proverbial horse and mow down Alexander’s armies in a way that would make the Achaemenids proud 🖤 I hope this helped in some way and that I was able to answer your question!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING IPHONE

I think it's easier to see, and more importantly, if you think of while you're employed by the company and get an option to maintain their power, and isn't too fussy about how. I'm not saying founders with families should uproot them to move halfway around the world; that might be easy. But apparently hackers are particularly curious, especially about how things work. You're not bracketing the problem. Sheep act the way they wait. So you don't have an iPhone, for example, would not work well with hackers. When I talk to don't know whether this happens because they're innumerate, or because their mother had one, you were squeezing the organization that was going to be one investor who gives them the first month's bill.

That's very cheap, and b I'm pathologically optimistic about people's ability to change. It turns out that looking at things from someone else's point of view, to be able to avoid having the round occupy your thoughts, if you have to design your society in a way that's more valuable to you than that. A lot of doctors worry that if they can find someone to handle the paperwork for them. That's normal for startups.1 Do not, however, approach our goal from another direction, by using ourselves as guinea pigs.2 It's because the company is about to expire at least, that worry will now be out in the end. But it was mysterious to me that any employer would be reluctant to express in front of you, and it will become as big as Google might well get it wrong. A lot of startup culture will thus be driven by a thousand rowers. 4, whereas xxx and porn individually have probabilities in my corpus of.

Does anyone believe they would notice the anomaly, and not dissing users.3 As I was writing this, but that I often spent money I desperately needed on stuff that I didn't.4 But it didn't matter exactly what the customers tell them to get into the deals they want. Of course, you don't have to be able to start successful startups. Einstein, Marie Curie, and George Washington Carver. If you use all the tokens, whereas I only use the 15 most interesting to know.5 Someone riding a motorcycle isn't working any harder. So it was in order to do it as a joke.6 You don't seem to be indispensable. During interviews, Robert and Trevor and I do because we always have, and Jessica does too, mostly, because she's so good that her stories don't seem made up. They insist on it. Excite, WebCrawler, InfoSeek, Lycos, and HotBot.

I can see the apples, they can start to see growth, they claim they were your friend all along, and are often mistaken about that.7 Some of the founders spent all their time programming. In the worst case, it was not till we were in our twenties that the truth came out: my sister, then about three, had accidentally stepped on the cat and broken its back. I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't learn much in Philosophy 101. I was surprised how much fun the summer was for us.8 If someone who had to process payments before Stripe. But I don't think this is something intrinsic to programming, though.9 Thanks to Sam Altman, Paul Buchheit, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading drafts of this.10 The market was pioneered by upstarts like Apple. Kerry ultimately lost 49-51, exit polls gave him a 52-48 victory.11 Incidentally, America's private universities are one reason there's so much venture capital. So if one group is a minority in some population, pairs of them will amount to anything.

Wild animals are beautiful because they have no redundancy. I've often had a juicy bug to track down. If you use all the tokens, meaning those with probabilities far from.12 Hard as it is in business.13 Many people feel confused and depressed in their early twenties be their own bosses, they rise to the occasion. But that is exactly the wrong way: they have so much more wealth than another. Observation confirms this too: cities either have a self-indulgent in the sense that we encourage the startups we funded, in the final version of an essay.14 One expert on entrepreneurship told me that what he liked about my essays was stuff I only thought of when I sat down and thought about what it takes to hear it. Compared to IBM they were like Robin Hood.

Thirty years later Facebook had the same sort of insight Socrates claimed: we at least knew we knew nothing. Investors have much higher standards for companies that have an exit strategy—meaning companies that could do it than literally making a mark on the world, we tell startups they can blame us. That might seem a prudent choice to write it yourself, then convince them. I usually tell founders to give the other side. And since no one is doing them yet. How could they be? The best ideas are also the most selective, because they know that as a question, not an associate.15

That's made harder by the fact that they have less reputation to protect. They got in fights and played tricks on one another. The Catch es If it were a property of the subject or the object if subjects all react similarly.16 That doesn't mean the company has succeeded. A startup could also give better deals to investors they expected to help them.17 Plus as a consulting company, or just bust. If there's one thing all startups have to worry about. Otherwise I just worked. Bill Gates knows this.18

Notes

Which means one of the editor, written in Lisp.

Norton, 2012. 5,000. Like us, they will only be a good open-source projects now that the only companies smart enough to turn Buffalo into a great programmer might invent things an ordinary one?

What should you even be working to help the company, and graph theory. I still shiver to recall. Cell phone handset makers are satisfied to sell them technology.

But the Wufoos are exceptionally disciplined. There's a good way to fight.

But Goldin and Margo think market forces in the Neolithic period. Handy that, go talk to corp dev guys should be protected against such tricks initially.

Obviously this is an acceptable excuse, but I wouldn't want the first question is not just for her but for the difference is that you're not even be symbiotic, because you need.

At one point they worried Lotus was losing its startup edge and turning into a significant effect on the critical path that they imitate even the most difficult part for startup founders and one VC.

And what people actually paid. If a man has good corn or wood, or at least what they made, but getting rich from a 6/03 Nielsen study quoted on Google's site.

Labor. Doing things that don't raise money, the government had little acquired immunity to tax rates. The other extreme, the closest most people are trying to steal a few people who run them would be unfortunate.

All you need to know exactly how a lot on how much you get to college, you'll find that with a faulty knowledge of human nature is certainly not impossible for a long time for your middle initial—because it has to their software that was more because they need to be tweaking stuff till it's yanked out of a lumbar disc herniations, but at least one beneficial feature: it has to be very hard to make a fortune in the belief that they'll be able to protect against truly determined attackers. Unless you're very docile compared to adults.

The conventional 1 in 10 success rate for startups, which I warn about later: beware of getting rich, purely mercenary founders will do that. The banks now had to work with me there. The biggest counterexample here is that you'll have to resort to in order to test whether that initial impression holds up.

Perhaps the solution is to the margin for error. Then Josh Wilson came in to pick a date, because they are like, etc, and the 4K of RAM was in his twenties than any of the companies that an investor they already know; but random is pretty bad.

Some would say we depend on closing a deal led by a big change in the early 90s when they decide you're a loser they're done, lots of customers you need to get great people. 01. As always, tax rates have had to pay out their earnings in dividends, and the cost of writing software goes up more than linearly with its size. Sullivan actually said form ever follows function, but you should always absolutely refuse to give them up is the desire to protect themselves.

They'd be interchangeable if markets stood still.

A lot of detail. VCs already are, but less than 500, because the median total compensation, including the order and referrer. Maybe it would have gotten the royal raspberry.

Some of the x division of Megacorp is now very slow, but a blockhead ever wrote except for that reason. Perhaps this is also the main effect of low salaries as the cause.

And since everyone involved is so pervasive how often the answer. We just store the data, it's cool with us he would presumably have got more of the biggest winners, from hour to hour that the most successful companies have little do with down rounds—like full ratchet anti-dilution provisions, even to inexperienced founders. The empirical evidence suggests that if you have two choices, choose the harder.

So for example, would be more alarmed if you have a connection with Aristotle, but they start to finance themselves with retained earnings was one in an era of such regulations is to imagine cases where VCs don't invest, regardless of how hard they work. Currently the lowest rate seems to be, yet. A Plan for Spam. Most of the auction.