#about to do some trolling with a corporate

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The real problem with anonymity

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

According to "the greater internet fuckwad theory," the ills of the internet can be traced to anonymity:

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory

This isn't merely wrong, it's dangerously wrong. The idea that forcing people to identify themselves online will improve discourse is demonstrably untrue. Facebook famously adopted its "real names" policy because Mark Zuckerberg claimed to believe that "Having two identities for yourself is an example of a lack of integrity":

https://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2010/05/14/facebook-and-radical-transparency-a-rant.html

In service to this claimed belief, Zuckerberg kicked off the "nym wars," turning himself into the sole arbiter of what each person's true name was, with predictably tragicomic consequences:

https://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/

Facebook is, famously, one of the internet's most polluted reservoirs of toxic interpersonal conduct. That's not despite the fact that people have to use their "real" names to participate there, but because of it. After all, the people who are most vulnerable to bullying and harassment are the ones who choose pseudonyms or anonymity so that they can speak freely. Forcing people to use their "real names" means that the most powerful bullies speak with impunity, and their victims are faced with the choice of retreat or being targeted offline.

This can be a matter of life and death. Cambodian dictator Hun Sen uses Facebook's real names policy to force dissidents to unmask themselves, which exposes them to arbitrary detention, torture, and extrajudicial killing. For members of the Cambodian diaspora, the choice is to unmask themselves or expose their family back home to retaliation:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/facebook-cambodia-democracy

Some of the biggest internet fuckwads I've ever met – and I've met some big ones! – were utterly unashamed about using their real names. Some of the nicest people I know online have never told me their offline names. Greater internet fuckwad theory is just plain wrong.

But that doesn't mean that anonymity is totally harmless. There is a category of person who reliably uses a certain, specific kind of anonymity to do vicious things that inflicts serious harm on whole swathes of people: corporate bullies.

Take Tinyletter. Tinyletter is a beloved newsletter app that was created to help people who just wanted to talk to others, without a thought to going viral or getting rich. It was sold to Mailchimp, which was sold to Intuit, who killed it:

https://www.theverge.com/24085737/tinyletter-mailchimp-shut-down-email-newsletters

Tinyletter was a perfect little gem of a service. It cost almost nothing to run, and made an enormous number of peoples' lives better every day. Shutting it down was an act of corporate depravity by some faceless Intuit manager who woke up one day and said "Fuck all those people. Just fuck them."

No one knows who that person was. That person will never have to look those people in the eyes – those people whose lives were made poorer for that Intuit executive's indifference. That person is the greater fuckwad, and that fuckwaddery depends on their anonymity.

Or take @Pixsy, a corporate shakedown outfit that helps copyleft trolls trick people into making tiny errors in Creative Commons attributions and then intimidates them into handing over thousands of dollars:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/24/a-bug-in-early-creative-commons-licenses-has-enabled-a-new-breed-of-superpredator/

Copyleft trolling is an absolutely depraved practice, a petty grift practiced by greedy fuckwads who are completely indifferent to the harm they cause – even if it means bankrupting volunteer-run nonprofits for a buck:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/02/commafuckers-versus-the-commons/

Pixsy claims that it is proud of its work "defending artists' rights," but when I named the personnel who signed their names to these profoundly unethical legal threats, Pixsy CEO Kain Jones threatened to sue me:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/13/an-open-letter-to-pixsy-ceo-kain-jones-who-keeps-sending-me-legal-threats/

The expectation of corporate anonymity runs deep and the press is surprisingly complicit. I once spent weeks working on an investigative story about a multinational corporation's practices. I spent hours on the phone with the company's VP of communications, over the course of many calls. When we were done, they said, "Now, of course, you can't name me in the article. All of that has to be attributed to 'a spokesperson.'"

I was baffled. Nothing this person said was a secret. They weren't blowing the whistle. They weren't leaking secrets. They were a corporate official, telling me the official corporate line. But they wouldn't sign their name to it.

I wrote an article about for the Guardian. It was the only Guardian column any of my editors there ever rejected, in more than a decade of writing for them:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/05/14/anodyne-anonymity/

Given the press's deference to this anodyne anonymity, it's no wonder that official spokespeople expect this kind of anonymity. I routinely receive emails from corporate spokespeople disputing my characterization of their employer's conduct, but insisting that I not attribute their dubious – and often blatantly false – statements to them by name.

These are the greater corporate fuckwads, who commit their sins from behind a veil of anonymity. That brand of bloodless viciousness, depravity and fraud absolutely depends on anonymity.

Mark Zuckerberg claimed that "multiple identities" enabled bad behavior – as though it was somehow healthy for people to relate to their bosses, lovers, parents, toddlers and barbers in exactly the same way. Zuckerberg's motivation was utterly transparent: having "multiple identities" doesn't mean you "lack integrity" – it just makes it harder to target you for ads.

But Zuckerberg couldn't enshittify Facebook on his own. For that, he relies on a legion of anonymous Facebook managers. Some of these people undoubtably speak up for Facebook users' interests when their colleagues propose putting them in harm's way for the sake of some arbitrary KPI. But the ones who are making those mean little decisions? They absolutely rely on anonymity to do their dirty work.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/04/greater-corporate-fuckward-theory/#counterintuit-ive

[snyderside]

I am not exactly sure if this classifies as an Au or headcanons since Trolls Band Together was kinda short and for the life of me I kinda hate when movies are rushed and we get the cut scenes afterward only as a storyboard(I also tend to like the concept art more than the official art)

But enough of me ranting and more into me getting into what I think/want to happen to Brozone when the band split up

(I choose to call it their solo career)

John Dory(19):

Seeing John Dory's entrance attitude and smugness truly made me think yeah this guy is definitely full of himself and in major denial about some things and what really confirmed my suspicion was when he said "I was the oldest I had no choice but to lead!"

So for his solo career, I thought maybe he did some odd job like bounty hunting, or perhaps he played hero with a small town with a small population of trolls or some other anthropomorphic species. Of course, anyone he would save or any group of bounty hunters he'd join didn't like him because he enjoyed taking control of the situation so much or bossing everyone around. He never liked being alone but he kept driving people away, so eventually he knew solitude was his best option, therefore living in Ronda alone in a forest. He did feel regret for driving his brothers away but only because he knew he was more familiar with bossing them around than some random strangers he'd just met. He kept the mindset of "Why should I feel bad when they're the ungrateful ones!" and "All I've ever done was look out for them, and I stepped up when Mom and Dad died!" after those thoughts he couldn't help but think "What are you doing John Dory?"

Spruce/Bruce(17):

I thought it would be funny if almost everyone at his little restaurant on Vacay Island or should I say Brandy's restaurant...well her dads knew who "Bruce' really was except Brandy. I like to think Bruce went to vacay island because either his therapist or himself thought he should relax more so he went on a "vacation". He chilled out, gained a little bit of weight making him lose his six-pack, and most importantly tried to win the heart of Brandy because she seemed to be the only one not falling for his charm. Brandy played a tsundere type of approach when it came to all his advances on her, but then it all came to a game of volleyball as Bruce's way of showing his dedication to her, of course some of the other players used his small stature against him and he was getting his butt handed to him. He was only able to score a single point (IDEK how volleyball works) and the way he leapt into the air had Brandy star struck, the that that was holding his hair back snapped and he used nothing but shear will power to spike the ball. I mean sure Bruce lost but did he really? He got the girl in the end so it's all that counts right?

Clay(16):

(So I don't really have much for clay because I used most of my ADHD superpowers on the other guys and there's not too much I can go on from the movie)

Now Clay just looked around for jobs, it was retail, then tried working at some corporate building but it all didn't exactly work out because none of his co-workers took him seriously. Feeling out of options Clay walked aimlessly eventually finding Viva and the Putt-putt trolls, at the time imagined them looking more post-apocalyptic and slightly barbaric and frankly chaotic, Viva needed drastic help because she was just a little kid like Clay. Clay offered to help her mainly because he has a tiny bit of OCD (Saying this because of how grumpy he looked when John Dory went off and did his own thing and him practicing and worrying before Brozone performance.) and Viva thought/thinks so highly of him and thought of him as serious which is all Clay ever wanted so he just felt at home...and may or may not have developed feelings for her in the long run. Still, hey I've already got into a Romance segment.

I'm going to leave this here and not do Floyd because I'll talk about his little solo career journey in an OC ramble. (I have no shame.)

Thanks for reading have a lovely day!

[chongoblog]

Excuse me but what do you have against capitalism? If you want to become rich you have to earn it through hard work, that's just how life works. We live in the real world not some socalist fairy tale. It's not capitalism that's the problem, but bad people taking advantage of it. What we need are good capitalists to use the system fairly, okay.

I'm gonna assume this ask isn't a troll and take it in good faith (because I know enough people who do legitimately feel this way, so even if this is a troll, at least I got it off my chest)

First off, the idea that hard work is what makes you rich is far from an exact 1 to 1. Yes, you ought to work hard in what you do and a person who works hard will generally be rewarded more than if that same person does not work hard. But also, there are plenty of people who work incredibly hard at 2 or even 3 jobs and still barely get enough to live while many rich people (hey Elon) don't do much in terms of actual work and are still billionaires, profiting off the work of those they hire.

But what I find most interesting about this ask (and an idea I used to believe) is that the issue is the bad people taking advantage of the system. Under capitalism, the central driving force for everything that corporations do is profit above literally anything else. "Taking advantage" of the system a natural part of this system. It's like releasing a horde of monkeys into a dining room and then getting mad that one of them has flung shit on the walls. The goal of any private member of the free market isn't to use the system fairly, it's to make more and more money, no matter what. And pursuing that comes at the expense of whatever they can get away with.

[under-loch-n-key]

Longggg Sherlock & Co plot rant. You have been warned.

I know the creator of Sherlock & Co. found the idea of writing Moriarty into the series intimidating. Plus, not knowing how to do Sherlock's "death" over a podcast and such. But I had an idea.

I love the idea of Professor Moriarty being some sort of hacker/online troll and MORIARTY is the name of a dark web corporation that is trying to hack into the Sherlock & Co. Company to send Sherlock puzzles/cases. You lot know those shady anon hackers on the dark web in films and certain websites? Like that.

I think it would be cool if at first Moriarty leaves hate/weird comments on John's podcasting sites and Watson just thinks it is some hater and thinks nothing of it and deletes the comments. He just grumbles about the comments being a continous thing.

Suddenly the comments stop. Watson isn't complaining about it, he is relieved by that because they were really annoying him. (no matter how many times Sherlock & Mariana told him to ignore them.)

Later on, Watson gets these emails from an unknown email of some shady guy (Moriarty) taunting Sherlock (and the rest of the company) and sending them on goose chase cases (Like the BBC did in that one episode with the phone calls, in a way?)

When Moriarty becomes the main centre of the podcast episodes, instead of Sherlock dying, he gets kidnapped by Moriarty's network. Watson and Mariana embark on and have to solve their most important case yet "Where is Sherlock Holmes?" This would give us some cool dynamics and more screentime between Watson and Mariana.

Watson starts to panick because he thinks he isn't like Sherlock and Sherlock did tell him that he would never be able to figure out stuff the way he could. Mariana is there to support and be there for him. Watson and Mariana have to channel their inner Sherlock Holmes to solve the case.

Idk whether I like the idea of Sherlock expecting this to happen and leave behind clues in some way. I do know though, that I like the idea of the following cases being them trying to work on finding Sherlock.

When they do, Sherlock is banged up and Sherlock tells him "I trusted that you would find me, Watson. You really are a persistent fellow."

And Watson just runs up and hugs him and Mariana joins in and they are just mother henning him like crazy.

Watson tells Sherlock "Don't do that to me again. Don't disappear on me again, you hear?"

And Sherlock is like "It's not like I was expecting to kidnapped, John. Besides, your podcast wouldn't last without me."

Watson just huffs and tells him "No, no, it wouldn't. Just come here," and then goes to hug him again.

Mariana pulls away from them both in realisation and she tells them "Boys, I don't mean to break up our moment, but we still do have one problem."

They both look at her and Sherlock nods and says "Moriarty. He's still out there."

I want it to be implied that they came face to face while Sherlock was kidnapped.

"He? Sherlock, you saw him?" Watson replies.

"Indeed, Watson and I think I know where he'll be waiting next."

*cue Sherlock & Co. End of episode music.*

Anyways, then we get to the episode of the Reichenbach fall, they have their final facedown. Sherlock doesn't die, but Moriarty does fall.

Watson would 100% be grumbling about how he can't pick up any audio over the sound of the falls.

Sherlock and Moriarty would begin fighting and Watson would start describing the scene in a panicked tone.

Sherlock calls over "Not helping, Watson!"

After more sounds of fighting and nervous ramblings from Watson. Sherlock & Moriarty turn the corner of the falls into a blind spot.

All Watson hears and sees is a cry and someone fall and crash into the water.

Watson panicks and shouts "SHERLOCK!" then dashes up to where they were fighting. Sherlock is sitting down and catching his breath.

Sherlock would probably make a smartarse comment like "Ah, John. Glad you make it. Help me up will you?"

"You're not dead."

"Clearly, or else we wouldn't be speaking. Now, would you please help me up?"

"Right, yeah." Watson helps him up.

"So, you, erm, you killed him?"

"I did. His baritsu was lacking, so his demise was inevitable."

"You're a clever, bugger, mate. Now, lift home?"

"Yes, of course."

I think it would be funny if the episode ended like this. They get home and Mariana starts mother-henning them both and she is scolding them both in Spanish about being more careful, how much she cares for them both, etc. Then she hugs them both.

Later on, we cut to them sitting in their chairs and talking about, well, everything.

"It's good to have you home, you know? I- well, Mariana and I both missed you."

"Mm. It's good to be home, Watson. I prefer the smell of our flat to the vile odour of where I was."

"Do you want to talk about it? Because, I, erm, am always here if you need a good talk."

"Not at the moment, Watson, but I will keep that in mind."

Long pause.

"So, Moriarty's network.. is it?-"

"Gone? Mm. No, but it will be taken care of."

"How? They are bloody HUGE, Sherlock. Shouldn't we, I don't know, contact Lestrade? Actually, the whole bloody Scotland Yard?"

"They're useless here, Watson. I'll leave this to the government."

"The government? Sherlock, we both know what they are. The government is not reliable in the slightest."

"Mm. The government you are discussing, yes. They are indeed unreliable, but in this instance I am discussing a WHO not a what."

"Friends in high places?"

"No. Much much worse."

"Oh, erm, an enemy then?"

"Mycroft is not an enemy, but certainly not a friend."

"What the devil is a 'Mycroft'?"

"My brother."

There's a long silence in the audio

"YOUR WHAT!?"

*Cue end of episode music*

I think this concept would be a cool way to be introduced to Mycroft, Watson realising his capibilities since meeting Sherlock, more screentime with Mariana and John's friendship, a way to do the podcast without killing Sherlock and having the time gap between Sherlock's "death" and resurrection, etc.

If you made it to the end of my Sherlock & Co plot concept ramble, good for you. Lol. Anyway, I just thought this would be a cool concept. The rant kinda blended into a fic, but oh well.

Do you lot like this idea? I thought it would be neat.

If John (or even the creator of Sherlock & Co) sees this ever, I will spontaneously combust. 😳

Enjoy my story/plot rant-

(Sorry for any typos, I am sick and half-asleep)

(I am so normal about them, I swear-)

[dotthings]

Let me make this even clearer. Because Jensen and Misha both deserve better.

Given that we know they talk a lot about Destiel among themselves. They have told us, repeatedly. They've shared each other's perspectives with each other. They have an understanding.

Early misunderstandings and conflicts in pov aside (and do people want to keep circle jerking as if it's still 2014? Okay then. Have at it, but time moved on and you didn't): Jensen doesn't speak over Misha. Misha doesn't speak over Jensen.

Some things Misha has said about Dean or Destiel has resulted in Jensen stans attacking him. They always have some excuse--this past weekend it was because Misha acknowledged the idea of Dean and Cas having sex.

In the past, another example, backlash came at Misha for saying Cas saw love and acceptance in Dean's eyes.

(Which...sure does seem like the pearl-clutching about Misha's CR8 comments being too ribald is fake virtue signaling doesn't it, since even a statement from Misha wide open to platonic or romantic reading, that is 100% true about Dean, and how loving he is, how loving we know Dean is, how much we know Dean is going to accept and love Cas either way, got hatred aimed at Misha as if he had said something heinous. Tells me all I need to know about certain stans).

While Jensen's "Cas is an angel therefore his love is cosmic and unknowable impossible for humans to grasp let's not define it" and "open to interpretation" middleground to appease both sides and treading carefully for reasons, on a topic that's napalm in fandom (it shouldn't be, but that's the reality), might be construed as speaking over Misha.

But here's the thing!!! It's not!! From either of them!!

It seems very obvious by now that they decided Misha would be the loud one, with Jensen holding his cape, even if he doesn't join in , and Jensen walking a diplomatic middle line, also with Misha's understanding and support in turn.

When Misha goes off boldly about Destiel? People need to kick out that hate fantasy about Jensen being disrespected and Jensen must be wanting to punch Misha and Jensen must be so mad at Misha how dare Misha out of their heads, or get to the point where they can comprehend the difference between their own feelings vs Jensen's and quit projecting.

They didn't shut each other out. They talked about Destiel. They listened to each other. Highly likely, in fact, that they helped each develop or refine their talking points.

Neither of them has been shooting off their mouth about the other's character without having spoken to each other.

I don't have any hope for fans to stop the endless fighting and concern trolling and attacking either Jensen or Misha over it, needlessly, perpetually, but when it comes to Jensen and Misha...that's a hopeful space.

Misha's bluntness vs Jensen's carefully chosen middleground words complement each other are not in fact oppositional takes--they complement each other, there's room for both. They both know it's a mutually loving relationship.

Neither is trampling on the other's pov, and any views that don't perfectly align, they've already discussed and they respect each other.

These accusations at either of them are not true, they are not fair, and they both deserve better.

And now I'm staring right at a recent thing where Misha full on absolved Jensen of an accusation that various lanes kept throwing at him, and still weaponize, including Jensen stans who claim to be defending Jensen, because they want it to be true.

The response was manufactured drama where people called Misha a liar and doubling down.

They'd rather Jensen take the fall and they'd rather call Misha a liar than believe a soulless corporation that has been caught more than once exercising queer censorship could have committed queer censorship in a TV industry where it's common knowledge that queer censorship by broadcast TV networks happen???????

Wow gee can you feel the love in this Chili's. Great going. Excellent defense strategy. You're really such a big help. With fans like these, Jensen and Misha don't need antis.

A lot of it is agenda driven, and some anxiety driven, every lane's worried about other lanes react, because spn fandom is always a pain in the neck that way. Some people hate Destiel so much they need Jensen to be their antidestiel warrior they'll throw Jensen under a bus and stan for the corporation, or they're so anxious about how Destiel gets treated they blame Jensen and forever hold against him his past foot in mouth about the ship (which was a long time ago. Please stop punishing him endlessly when he's moved on and his perspectives are respectful, yet you're still stuck back there) rather than comprehending the actual systemic factors.

Jensen and Misha are both doing what they can to make it better.

They are trying to fix it!!!

People should show them more respect!!!!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, clashing personalities, exclusion, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: moody boy Curtis Everett x bubbly, plus-size reader

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You arrive early with your laptop. The meeting room appears occupied as you wait outside. You don’t knock for fear of interrupting and stand patiently in the hall.

You check your watch, the hot pink casio with the digital face. It’s getting close. You try not to worry too much. The IT tech will no doubt show up and realise what’s going on.

As you begin to build the upcoming meeting as more than it is, the door cracks open and a man pokes his head out. He wear frameless rectangular glasses and his blond hair is spiky and shiny with gel. He smiles as he lets the door fall open.

“Hey, sorry to keep you waiting, you must be our one o’clock,” he says, “I’m Jake.”

You shake his hand and introduce yourself. He welcomes you in as you ponder his words, ‘our’? As you enter, you are faced with the last person you expect. The man’s neutral stare turns to a chagrined scowl as your eyes meet. The very same moody lunch partner from the day before.

“Hi,” you say sheepishly as you sit down and place your laptop on the table.

“Curtis will be doing most of the set up,” Jake explains as he sits beside the other man, “I’m mostly here for moral support.”

“Shut up,” Curtis sneers under his breath.

“Curtis,” you beam brightly; you finally got a name for the face. You give your own happily, enunciating it as if he’s never heard it before.

“Let’s get this done with,” he reaches across the table and takes your laptop. 

You can only watch as he lifts the lid and starts typing. Jake looks over a tablet and offers a few words as Curtis fiddles around with your laptop. He’s met with grumbles and dismissive nods. They seem an odd pair.

“So, how are you liking it?” Jake turns his attention to you, “making any friends?”

“A few I think,” you glance at Curtis as his brows draw together, “pretty big company.”

“Yep, don’t let the corporate sea drown ya,” Jake says, “my tip, stick with the IT nerds, we mostly don’t care what’s going on upstairs. We’re all about the backend.”

The steady clack of keys underlines your small laugh. You’re nervous. You hate meetings and you just want to go back to your desk and pretend you’re reading policies.

“What is this?” Curtis grimaces and turns your computer to you. He points to the clock your installed on the desktop; Hello Kitty’s face with two clock hands ticking.

“It’s cute. It’s a clock! Oh, and the app also has a reminder setting–”

“Can’t have it on a work machine,” he grits.

“It’s fine, Curt. Won’t hurt–”

“This shit is from some Discord troll. Bullshit it can’t hurt,” Curtis insists, “policy; no third-party apps. Everything you need is already installed.”

“Okay,” you twirl your thumbs around each other, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

He looks at you above the laptop and squints, his lip slightly curling. Jake rubs his neck nervously and nudges him. You still your hands and bite into your cheek.

“He’s had a long day. Spilled coffee on himself,” Jake explains.

“Oh,” you round your eyes, looking at the wall evasively.

“We can show you how to use the system clock and reminders. You’d be surprised the features most people don’t know about,” Jake offers.

“Thanks, uh, sounds good.”

Curtis jams his finger on the touchpad harshly. He keeps his snarl aimed at the screen. You watch him, waiting for him to look up. He doesn’t. You don’t blame him, you’ve been a real thorn in his side. But you only meant well.

🌞

After the meeting, you swept up in a whirlwind of overthinking and guilt. You didn’t mean to ruin Curtis’ day. You never meant to be anything but friendly. Somehow, it rarely translates to more than a nuisance.

Still, you don’t like when people are mad at you. You’re not a grudge holder and frankly you don’t understand them. Why hold onto all that bad emotion? You need to to just apologise and let it all smooth over.

You go down to the cafeteria and grab one of the few leftover pastries. A cinnamon bun with icing, yum. You stop and make a coffee before you head back to the floor. You guess on a dark brew, he seems the type.

You wander past Research and Development and through Accounting. You don’t really know where you’re going. The further you get, the more your anxiety mounts. Surely, you can’t get lost in an office building.

You see a man with a headset and send a psst in his direction. He looks up, combing back his greasy hair with his fingers and smiles.

“Uh, hey,” he says.

“Um, is this IT?” You keep your voice down in the curdling silence of the department.

“Sure is. You need a repair?” He winks. Not exactly your taste. You shake your head.

“I’m looking for Curtis,” you say.

The man looks at your handful. He nods, deflating.

“Pretty boy’s over there,” he points towards the corner.

You thank the man and press on in your journey into the villain’s lair. You can only hope your offering is enough. Forgiveness, maybe that’s too much, but an understanding, possibly.

You turn down the last row of desks and see Curtis’ large hand brush over the back of his buzzcut, his rings twinkling in the fluorescent glow. He stretches in his chair, leaning back as he reaches his arms up. His set-up looks almost too small for him.

As you approach, he stands. You don’t expect it. The motion sends his chair back just as you get close and knocks the coffee out of your hand. The cup hits the seat and soaks into the mesh. Your squeak draws the man around in surprise.

“You,” he growls as you gape at him in shock.

“Hi,” you don’t know what to do so you hold out the cinnamon bun, “um, sorry?”

He glares at you. A deadly look that chills you to the bone. His eyes fall to his drenched seat and you cringe. You see the rage pale his face. His hands ball to fists.

“I was just…” you inch closer and set the dessert on the corner of his desk, “apologising but I see now that–”

“Go,” he grits through his teeth.

“I’m sorry, Curtis–”

“I said go,” he sneers as his grey blue eyes slowly move towards you, “before you ruin anything else.”

[beatboxing-puppy]

saw some posts on this website discussing what sort of videogames the dunmeshi characters would play and i think everyone is wrong. everyone is wrong except for me so im going to spell out exactly who plays what. putting it under a read more because im going on a damn tangent.

Laios: He's not a gamer he does not play games on purpose he will only ever play video games when his friends ask him to join them in their multiplayer things. One day tho Falin told him about Monster Hunter and now thats the only thing he plays aside from Spore and he has sunk countless hours into that damn game. Also he probably has played Some pokemon but he doesnt like PLAYING it he just likes it in concept he knows the name of all the pokemon

marcille: people keep saying she would be a cosy gamer playing animal crossing and stardew and other cute games ^-^ its so lalalaaaa NO!!!!!!! no she does not. Marcille plays games that stress her out on purpose marcille plays overwhelming micromanagey games like lobotomy corporation and rimworld and etc. She also likes games with deep lore and mysteries to discover. The only thing that doesn't fit in this category that she plays is Minecraft shes always in there CREATIVE MODE building virtual dungeons and other crazy shit. Also she plays on her work laptop with trackpad ok

Chilchuck: This one is for me. This one im just basing off my own dad ok. Chilchuck used to be a hardcore gamer in his youth but specifically he was playing stuff like world of warcraft and old school runescape he had really big setups so he could run several instances of the game at once on all his alt accounts so he could beat a boss by himself and he was really good at it. But then he had kids and didnt have time for this sort of thing so he stopped playing videogames aside from occasionally helping his daughters beat a super hard mario level. Later in life he probably discovered some shitty little low-commitment phone game like pokemon go or pikmin bloom or some daily sudoku puzzle thing and he plays it every day but its not that big a deal. He has been pressured by his friends and daughters to make a roblox account but he hasnt played it at all.

Senshi: THIS guy is the one that plays animal crossing. He logs in when he can but hes not on that every day grind. Also he doesnt play the newest one he doesnt play horizons he plays one of the DS ones. Wild world probably. He either doesn't like or doesn't know about the nintendo switch. Whenever one of his villagers say that they want to leave he'll nod solemnly and say smth like "Well... I suppose it'd be selfish to ask ye to stay, friend... Just promise me you'll stay safe and never forget me... Go and explore the world. Wish ye the best." Plus his island would be covered in weeds. He also has some mobile games he enjoys angry birds and candy crush and crosswords (gotta keep the brain in shape!) but other than that he doesn't videogame much because he prefers board games and tabletop stuff he isnt too jazzed about all this modern technology plus a console or a laptop and all that gaming equipment is a lot to lug around and hes a nomad he would NOT have that shit

Falin: Now FALIN is the cosy gamer. kind of. Falin plays animal crossing new horizons sometimes and has fun making a bad island on purpose. Very mildly "bad" tho the worst she'll do is use the drawing feature to hide a giant penis on the beach or whatever. Or she'll give her villagers silly outfits. She also plays minecraft (either skyblock or she makes a new world and explores and builds a couple houses and then forgets about it and makes another new world) and roblox (likes 'trolling' strangers by dressing up funny and acting kind of strange in roleplay servers but she's never actually mean or anything.) But the big thing she likes is story-driven indie rpgmaker games. She's the person who will say shit like "Yeah I played Blums Booglies the quest for Big Dinners and it was so good I cried for 9 hours" completely unironically.

kabru: social gamer like laios but the games he plays on purpose are the sims (he likes to cause them problems) and online multiplayer games (he likes to peoplewatch). I can also see him doing absurd and tortrous challenge runs of games like No items no pokecenter one type hardcore nuzlockes. im correct

izutsumi: ACTUALLY trolls people on roblox. And she plays needlessly gory flash games. Maybe she calls people dumbfucks over valorant voice chat sometimes

[tearlessrain]

Okay, I'm seeing people using "not wanting to bring twitter culture here" as an excuse to be malicious assholes to regular people. Stop. You're doing that thing again. The fandom cop thing where regular non celebrity/brand people are easier targets and you just want to hit something and still feel like you have the moral high ground when in actuality you're not helping anything and just being an asshole.

We don't need to be assholes to people. We don't even need to keep everyone out. In fact I would really, really love for the artists to come back, not every twitter refugee is bad. And even if someone is being obnoxious and problematic, the solution is the same as for the marketing accounts: Just Block Them.

I know some of you desperately want there to be some alignment of circumstances that will magically make harassment and suicide baiting and calling people slurs okay, but that's a you problem and you need to figure out a way to deal with it that doesn't affect random civilians and actively make the internet a worse place.

If you actually care about maintaining tumblr as a good place to be, you have to actually participate in a positive way and set an example. reblog art you like, don't repost, block corporate accounts and trolls, and learn to curate your experience.

[tayfabe75]

Did Taylor and Matty meet on Myspace? (And other early coincidences!)

Early on in their careers, Taylor and Matty both utilized Myspace as a way to promote their music. Taylor, specifically, would message with other teenagers on Myspace:

"I'd post my songs on my MySpace and, yes, MySpace, and would message with other teenagers like me who loved country music, but just didn't have anyone singing from their perspective."

Matty, too, described himself as "King of Myspace" when he was fifteen. But he brought it up more recently on the Ion Pack Podcast, even mentioning his age as seventeen at the time. And here's a retro clip of Taylor talking about how she wasn't some corporate entity on Myspace, if you messaged her account, you were talking to her! She also filled out her profile in her own words.

She has some things in her profile that might've caught Matty's eye, a fellow teenage country fan and fan of American music specifically, that might've emboldened him to message her:

"I love people who like my music. I love people who are nice to me. I like people who are excitable. I think it's endearing when people cry when they're happy. I'm pretty excitable too. Guys don't ask me out because they know I'll write songs about them. But I'm also the girl who still believes prince charming exists somewhere out there -- fully equipped with great hair and an immature sense of humor. I'm fascinated by black and white pictures. I like people who can be sarcastic and laugh about tense situations. I'm a fan of fans."

Say whatever you will about Matty, but that man is a genuine fan of Taylor's music. When he became a fan is open for discussion, but let's just pretend, for fun, that he found her via Myspace early on in her career.

Now, here is the old Myspace page for The 1975 back when they were known as 'Drive Like I Do' in 2008. Note the James Taylor in the list of Influences! (as well as the Jamie Squire in the top 8! How sweet, I'm sobbing!)

Taylor was a bit of a firecracker on Myspace (and not just there, there's a whole conspiracy theory she used to troll 4Chan!). A few of her comments were screenshotted and you can find them around the internet. Here are some. The one from October 31st, 2005 about a queer fellow ("I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer, it's not as weird as it appears") with a Sex van ("take your shoes off in the back of my van") really caught my eye, anyway…

"Listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, I do believe I am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up, farewell knave."

Notice the spelling here, too. Thinketh? Hangeth? Knave? Feels a little bit Shakespearean, at least for say, a fifteen-going-on-sixteen-year-old girl (as we would later discover, Love Story and Robbers were both inspired by Romeo and Juliet, both written around the same time so far as I know, but it's hard to find exact dates!)

Matty, by the way, used to refer to himself as the "Prince of the Tyne". He's also got some old Drive Like I Do lyrics from 'We Are the Streetfighters' that are suspicious to me: "Well in four thousand miles we'll meet you" (The nearest airport to Macclesfield is in Manchester, and the distance between Manchester and Nashville? Roughly 4000 miles)

Two months later on December 21st, 2005, just after turning 16, Taylor says she's in England.

Did they meet? Who knows! But there's enough weirdness there to make me wonder. Speaking of weirdness… we're going to go on a side tangent about Fearless, but that's part of the puzzle, so bear with me…

I don't know about anyone else, but when I saw Matty's Fearless Love Gaze™, I was rocked to my core! Men do not look at women like that, but especially not brand-new flings. They're too concerned with trying to look cool and unaffected. For most men (stereotypically), romance and love are "dumb" and "stupid" and perceived as a "woman thing" that men can't be bothered with. But not Matty. Matty was utterly transfixed by her. Something about that touch of mischief in the lip bite when she says the bit about "absentmindedly making me want you", the way he just barely mouths along to the words at the end of the clip, well… sirens started going off for me. So, I followed my intuition and started researching all of this.

Now, Taylor wrote the song 'Fearless' sometime in 2006. The hidden message liner note for Fearless? "I loved you before I met you". Taylor describes 'Fearless' as a song she wrote about a perfect first date she hadn't had yet, about something she didn't have but dreamt of. She debuted it for the first time on April 6th, 2007 in Reading, PA (if you don't already know it, that's two days before Matty's 18th birthday). At this show, she debuted 'Sparks Fly' (yes, in 2007! Original lyrics were brown eyes rather than green eyes, by the way) and 'Tied Together With A Smile'. She also played a cover of John Waite's song 'Missing You' which seems to be about a long-distance relationship: "And it's my heart that's breakin' down this long distance line tonight"

Speaking of Matty's birthday, the release of Fearless TV happened to coincide with Matty's birthday! She dropped a sneak peek of Fearless on his birthday in 2021, and the album would release one day later on the ninth (perhaps because albums release on Fridays and that's as close as she could get?)

Taylor describes the Fearless album as her diary from when she was seventeen (misplaced my source on that quote, d'oh!) That said, 'Love Story' interests me as well. There are some interesting facts about Love Story:

Hidden message: Someday, I'll find this. Taylor wrote this song in a very short amount of time after her parents had told her that she couldn't be with the person she wanted to be with. And in her own words:

"'Love Story' is actually about a guy that I almost dated. But when I introduced him to my family and my friends, they all said they didn't like him. All of them! For the first time, I could relate to that Romeo-and-Juliet situation where the only people who wanted them to be together were them. That's the most romantic song I've written, and it's not even about a person I really dated."

Taylor's UK television debut (like first time ever performing on TV in the UK) was on Loose Women (Matty's mother's show). Now, Denise was not there during this period as a host, but she had been before that and would be afterward, so maybe there's some significance? Maybe not. But if Taylor and Matty knew each other, he would definitely get to be in the audience to see her if he wanted to. The song she chose to perform was 'Love Story'.

Now, 'Robbers' is also based on Romeo and Juliet (and also written circa 2007), and Matty describes that here in a fan video from 2015. We'd see Romeo and Juliet imagery pop up again in 2014, both in Taylor's video for Blank Space (where she's on a balcony looking down at her lover) and in November where she stood up on a balcony at Matty's show as he serenaded her with Fallingforyou (visual comparisons here)

Blank Space, too, might reference Fallingforyou. There's a scene where she rides bikes with her lover inside her enormous house, perhaps reminiscent of Matty's lyric: "All we need's my bike and your enormous house":

Matty even dresses a bit like the lover from 'Love Story' music video at the 2017 BRITs:

When you fall down the Myspace rabbit hole, you start noticing other strange similarities in their lyrics - like Matty referring to a "girl on the screen" in 'If You're Too Shy', which perhaps parallels Taylor's "guy on the screen" in 'Karma'. In 'The 1' (another song that lyrically parallels 'Robbers'), Taylor imagines "the 1 that got away" meeting a woman on the internet and taking her home, which might be another reference to Matty, perhaps lyrically paralleling The 1975's 'Playing On My Mind'. This theory, of course, makes the entire album 'A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships' suspect, especially given that 'Be My Mistake' is a song Matty wrote "about Nashville", the striking similarities between 'Sincerity is Scary' and 'Me!', a song called 'Mine' that references the year 2009, and the inclusion of a Drive Like I Do track Matty wrote when he was just fifteen years old, '102' (the same age he was when he was "King of Myspace"). Considering 'Love Story' was written for someone who Taylor's parents disapproved of, it makes this lyric all the more striking:

"I hope this song will remind you I'm not half as bad as what you've been told."

Lastly, if Matty is the confirmed 'Cardigan' muse and if 'Willow' is the continuation of 'Cardigan' (based on where the music video begins), the scene where she gazes into the water at her lover could perhaps represent a visual metaphor for looking through a screen, no?

Back to the NYU commencement speech! I recommend listening to the FULL clip. She talks about: feeling lonely, chatting with other teenage country fans on Myspace, and then segues into her motivation behind protecting her private life:

"Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely."

All of this seems correlated to me (also why it's hard for me to reconcile this whole football charade! But for me, it's easier to believe Taylor here about privacy being important to her, and not assume that some boyfriend kept her locked away in a dungeon against her will or something)

Now, to tie this all into a very nice bow, here's a quote where Taylor talks about how she uses easter eggs:

"Easter eggs can be left on clothing or jewelry. This is one of my favorite ways to do this, because you wear something that foreshadows something else, and people don't usually find out this one immediately, but they know you're probably sending a message. They'll figure it out in time."

What shirt was she wearing during her pap walk with Matty? Think of the "He lets her Bejeweled" meme… She had on an NYU sweatshirt.

Now, could be just a giant coincidence, trust me, I know, I get it. However… maybe she's really hinting about an old Myspace pal that she has protected fiercely. I mean, she did seem to use that speech to easter egg/foreshadow YOYOK & Labyrinth lyrics…

Speaking of 'Bejeweled'… On July 15th, 2023 Taylor flubbed the lyrics: "Sapphire tears on Myspace", and then she giggled. Freudian slip, perhaps? But this is the woman who assures us that "nothing is accidental"... and in a song that mentions a "Top 5", no less! (reminiscent of a Top 8, perhaps?)

Maybe James and Betty were involved in a "teenage love triangle" for a reason, and maybe TTPD references "teenage petulance" for that same reason… or maybe it's nothing but a bunch of eerie coincidences! Who knows! In the meantime, I'll keep on clownin'! 🤡

[agent-cakeshroom]

Random thought(when is it not random??) to expand on later

Cash Cow JD AU

Dunno if an idea like this was done or not but hear me out. While hiking the Neverglades, maybe about 5 years after the band broke up(he's already gone back and thinks his bros are dead), JD final starts letting himself sing again. It starts as humming lullabies he used to sing for his brothers, turns into quietly singing the songs he wrote for Brozone, and ends up him just singing whatever he's doing. He strikes me as the type, when alone at least, to sing the randomest shit to fill the quiet. Well, during one of his better spontaneous songs, a suspicious individual overhears. Think Mount Rageon kind of design, but adult and much more corporately power hungry. He carefully sits out in the open while JD is singing, letting the Troll see him when he turns. It startles JD, but the guy acts so genuinely impressed that he puffs up proudly and brags a bit. The Evil Man(lmao) asks about why he quit singing for audiences, and John Dory doesn't quite get into it, but it's been so long since he really talked to someone. He's hesitant, but eventually opens up about his brothers and everything that happened. And that they're probably dead. Evil Man acts all sympathetic, but sees the sun is going down and mentions he has to return home. A fancy little city not too far(for his big ass legs at least). He invites John to come explore, and dude is intrigued and bored. So he hitches a ride on Evil Man's shoulder.

Things go south not too long after. Come to find out, Evil Man had a few other trolls "under his wing". Aka held hostage to act as idols under his name. Maybe varying genres? JD would be the Pop Troll to complete the little group, and is designated as lead man. John is like "uh no way, bye" but Evil Man has magic technology lol. Maybe bracelets that paralyze the wearer if they move too far from a certain area? Something along those lines. So JD is trapped.

With this, Floyd and Bruce hear about JD around the time just before the first movie. Maybe while that's going down, Floyd goes to see one of JD's shows and tries to talk to him. JD panics because Evil Man would 100% either exploit Floyd's talent or use him against JD. So big bro tries to make him leave by saying horrible things? Like "I'm more successful now than we ever were. Why would I leave? I've found my Perfect Harmony." He specifically drops that in to try and clue Floyd in that something is wrong. Floyd, being the empath he is, gets the hint and sneaks in a mention that he'd go find their other brothers then. By the time Floyd meets up with Bruce, the first movie has happened. Second movie happens, let's say, 3 months after? Not too long. As that's happening, Bruce and Floyd try to hunt down Clay. They finally find him when they all suddenly go gray. The strings were broken. John Dory's lil group feels it too, mid show, and it royally pisses off Evil Man. He cuts the music, and JD glances backstage to see the look on his face. He's about ready to legit murder the Trolls, but just in time JD feels a weird warmth in his chest. He goes off script, starts singing acapella and the rest of the group join in. Their color comes back, there's sparkles and magic in the air, and the crowd eats it up. They finish out the show, and Evil Man chews em out. John Dory explains he has no idea what happened, and they manage to get off without too much injury.

Bruce, Floyd, Clay, and Viva(after some convincing) leave to try and figure out what just happened. They hear about the Rockapocalypse over a radio(maybe they have a different mode of transportation? Rhonda comes in later). They hunt down Pop Village in no time, before the Bergen wedding, and find Branch and Poppy. Reunions!!!

As far as I've gotten, gotta get back to work. Will try to add more laterrrr

[arizonaconservativegal]

I believe I've figured out why you're an object of fascination for the leftwing individuals who stumble across your blog: you pretend to be reasonable and overly rely on the "strawman" argument to deflect from explaining your actual views. (Probably the most authentically online-atheist thing about you.) But underneath all of your "it's just the wheels turning and everything is normal" schtick, you still don't actually address anything. You aren't able to address the overturning of Roe except to make a stupid "secret third option" joke. You handwave the right to privacy and all that comes with it as being open for debate because you are "an insider" who knows what's actually going on. And there's no way this Supreme Court would ever fuck over Americans right to privacy.

Essentially, you're saying "don't believe you lying eyes, believe what I tell you." You're at the point of denialism where you're basically saying that nothing is real. A healthy agnostic position is a very important thing to cultivate and one that does yourself and the world infinite good, but denying what is going on around you is stupid. You're saying, well no true Scotsman/Republican actually hates immigrants, queer people and are racists, that's just what the lying (I'm going to go ahead and say in your mind the word "Jewish" is probably close to here) media is telling you. Where is this big tent? I understand that my neighbors and family members vote Republican, and I think I understand some of the reasons they do so (mostly ignorance and habit), but they don't spend so much time spewing propoganda on a internet backwater that was once known for being progressive. (and porn.)

You handwave Project 2025 because you don't care what it would do if it would take place. You claim to be an atheist, but I imagine you're an "atheist" who still believes this is a "Christian nation" traditionally and should remain that way. Because, even if we do return to the dark ages you'll be fine and able to fly under the radar, and to prosper from the system.

Ultimately, your party serves the interests of corporations and billionaires in a manner that goes far beyond the, admittedly corrupt, Democratic leaders. They at least ape at a conscience. You are some weird, hyper-specialized bootlicking troll who exists to spew vapid non-information. And I'm pretty sure you take Ayn Rand seriously.

This is a fascinating analysis but unfortunately every word of it is wrong

A for effort but F for accuracy

[callalillywrites]

Revenge Best Served by Three Pissed Alphas - Their Sweet Omega One-Shot

Series Masterlist

Relationship: Alpha!Jake Jensen / Beta!Pre-serum Steve Rogers / Omega!Reader

Other Characters: Alpha!Bucky Barnes, Alpha!Ari Levinson, and Beta!Ransom Drysdale

Word Count: ~1550

Summary: This takes place directly after An Accidental Eavesdropping. Our Alphas aren't happy to learn that Steve (and Ransom) had been hurt and determined to make the omega and their alpha pay for that hurt.

Warnings: protective-mode Jake activated, Bucky and Ari scheming with Jake, not much other than that I think

A/N: It’s proofread but all mistakes are my own.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

It doesn’t take Jake long to track down the omega who caused Steve to doubt himself and his place in their pack.

The omega is worse than Jake could imagine. Professionally, they say all the right things. Personally, that’s a whole other thing. He hacks into their personal socials and finds a treasure trove of hate for Betas.

The more he reads, the more upset he gets.

Behind him, he can hear the growls of Bucky and Ari, who’ve been reading everything over his shoulder.

Jake hadn’t left Bucky’s the apartment without Bucky pulling him aside and telling him he wants in whatever Jake is planning for this omega and their alpha. He’s not about to let what happened with Steve go unanswered.

Ari gets involved when he hears the story from Omega during the party they had for Steve’s great accomplishment. He had sensed something off with her and hadn’t let her go without learning what’s making her so sad at such a happy event for her Beta.

The three alphas are determined to take this omega and their alpha down by any means necessary. No way should they ever be allowed to court another Beta and hurt them in the ways they’ve done Ransom and Steve.

Bucky and Ari both like Ransom because of his troll-like nature, which disappears entirely when he’s in the presence of Jake’s Omega. It’s an instant transformation and has given them a real insight into Ransom. His rough outer shell is there to protect him.

They both see a bit of themselves in Ransom, and it’s enough to have them protective over him as much as they are Steve.

The great debate comes in how they’re going to take these two down in a way that won’t hurt themselves, Jake’s pack, or Ransom.

A lot of ideas are shared and discarded until they land on something Jake’s done before for Steve. (The past commissioner who’d stiffed Steve and berated his talents a few weeks before his birthday.)

This time, they’re not going to hold back from costing these two their jobs and more if they can manage it.

The trio go on recon missions to learn all they can about these two and soon have enough information on each of them.

With the information gathered, Jake gets to work on a dossier of sorts that he anonymously sends to both their bosses. The omega might be a party planner, but that work comes from an organization rather than a freelancing type of position. The alpha is some corporate hotshot that’s been on track for making a huge promotion within the next couple of years.

A bit more digging finds that both are working under some impressive betas.

All it takes is getting those betas’ emails from public websites on the two companies and sending them the appropriate dossiers on each of them.

Bucky’s part in this reveals some more damning details as he surveils them and discovers some interesting groups these two belong to. It doesn’t take much effort on his part (and Ari’s) to get these groups to discover the truth about these two. The groups are quick to distance themselves from these two.

It takes a bit of time before they learn that Jake’s work has panned out.

Both the omega and their alpha are let go from their companies and practically blackballed from their respective industries.

As much as they might feel bad for what they’re doing, it’s soon pushed aside as the two don’t show any remorse for their thoughts. No, these two double down on their preciously held views of betas. They even go so far to blast all betas on their social media accounts, earning them further bans on those for their hate speech.

It all culminates in the omega and alpha doing something beyond drastic and getting themselves arrested for those efforts.

With their mission accomplished, Jake has them come back to his place where he sits down Steve and Ransom as well as his Omega.

Ransom hasn’t exactly been all that happy with Steve after learning about Steve’s gaff in telling what happened. Sure, Steve hadn’t directly told Omega or Jake, but he had blabbed everything to someone else, involving Ransom’s name in the process.

“We don’t hide things from each other, Ran,” Omega reminds him, still a bit hurt he hadn’t come to her. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have hired that wretched omega, and Steve never would’ve been hurt enough to blab your secret. I would’ve ripped them a new one for hurting you, too.”

“Angel,” Jake gently admonishes though he’s well aware of how fierce she is. He even shoots her a proud smile as she merely pouts at him, grumbling under her breath. That has Jake coughing to hide his amusement. “There will be no need for any ripping, Angel. That omega and their alpha have been handled.”

Oh, that has both Omega’s and Steve’s attention.

After all, they’re also well aware of Jake’s over-protective streak when it comes to them.

Not wanting to hog all the credit, Jake steps back and lets Ari and Bucky take turns on what all has gone down the past couple of weeks. They don’t really leave out a lot of details though they also don’t tell everything.

At the end of it, Steve’s grinning while Omega’s eyes overflow with happy tears.

Ransom’s the hardest of the bunch to read.

He hasn’t said a word the entire time. In fact, his hands have been clenched for most of their tale, but he eventually releases them.

When he finally meets Jake’s gaze, he asks, “Why do this for me? I’m not your beta. I don’t belong to any of you. What are you getting out of this by helping me?”

“Nothing,” Jake answers while Bucky and Ari wisely keep silent. “We didn’t do this because we expect something of you. We did this because it’s not only the right thing to do, but because you’re Angel’s best friend. Those she cares about matter to me, too.”

“She matters to us, too,” Bucky added. “I haven’t seen Jake or Steve so happy until she came into their lives. Ari and I’ll do anything to make sure she and her friends are safe.”

“Even a lowly beta asshole like me?” Ransom can’t seem to help poking the three alphas, not daring to possibly hope that someone might care about him in some small capacity.

Ari chuckles at that. “Especially an asshole like you. Though, I’ve met bigger ones than you could ever hope to be, lil beta.”

“Think you’re confusing me with Steve over there.”

“Haha. Very funny, jackass.”

Jake shakes his head but steps forward. “Okay, okay, before we add a hospital visit, it’s time to wrap this up. Steve, Angel and I already spoke to you about this incident. Do I need to repeat what we told you to get it through that stubborn skull of yours?”

While Steve shakes his head, Bucky mumbles his doubts about that, shooting a devilish smirk in Steve’s direction. Steve flips him off.

“Okay, then that leaves you, Ransom.”

Ransom tenses at that. He meets Jake’s gaze again with a bit of a scowl on his face.

“No more secrets. I’ll make it an Alpha Command if I have to, but I’d rather not. If someone is hurting you, then you tell Angel or Steve if they make you more comfortable. They do not, however, get to keep that secret from me.”

When Ransom goes to open his mouth to protest, Jake holds up his hand.

He continues, “If I’m not available, then they have my full permission to go to Bucky or Ari to have them handle it. Whether you like it or not, you are now under our protection. We don’t take our duties as alphas lightly. Are we understood?”

Ransom wants to fight against this mandate, but he can see the resolve in Jake and the other two alphas. If Jake won’t use his Alpha Command, he’s fairly certain one of the other two will.

Finally, he nods, unable to see his way out of this.

Satisfied, Jake turns to Steve and Omega. “You two are not to keep this from us Alphas, either, or try to handle these matters on your own. Understand?”

Both Steve and Omega are quick to agree.

With matters now settled, Jake invites everyone to stay for dinner, which he’s making after the wonderful dessert he spied earlier in the fridge from his sweet Omega.

The dinner ends up being a good time.

Steve and Ransom are able to repair some of the cracks in their new friendship while Omega fawns over both betas and does what she can to mend the hurt caused to them both.

Omega doesn’t forget about Jake and happily shows him some special appreciation when they find themselves alone in the kitchen before dinner, before dessert, and during cleanup afterward.

It’s only after their guests leave that they find themselves falling into a cuddle puddle in one of Omega’s nests. A movie plays in the background as they get lost in each other.

They stay that way until it’s beyond their usual bedtime, not really bothering to move until the early morning hours.

*****

Main Masterlist

Tag List: @thezombieprostitute

[gallantblade]

Early Act 6 thoughts (having finished A6A1):

These alpha kids are way less socially well adjusted than the beta kids were despite being more affluent and technically competent

Actually that seems to be a trend in (what i'm thinking of as) "stratched sessions"; the beta trolls are also implied to be socially maladapted in exchange for better odds at beating Sburb, but in their case that's the fault of Doc Scratch.

If that tradeoff is an inherent part of scratched sessions that says a lot about Sburb's incentive structures and the kinds of people it's inclined to produce.

Remember when Dave was the easiest to dislike character in the comic? (Not that I ever disliked Dave.)

You can also definitely tell these kids are 15-16 instead of 13-14. More developed personal philosophies, more nuanced relationship issues, just generally being More in the way two extra years of teenage development makes you.

Speaking of the romantic shit going on here is a god damn mess. I feel bad for Jane and Roxy straining their relationship over a guy who is clearly gay and hasn't figured it out yet. This kind of character tension isn't my favorite though because it can feel really cheap if it's not executed in an interesting way, so I can't say I'm super invested yet.

Jake is the first character in the comic to actually make me uncomfortable. Which I'm pretty sure was intentional? He reminds me of Equius somehow, without being funny to watch. Either he's actually a decent guy who Hussie decided to plaster with red herrings for some reason, or he's going to do something horrible. Or both probably.

On the other hand Roxy is SO fun and immediately jumped onto my favorite characters list. I don't have much to say about her right now other than that she's fun.

If Jane is the heiress to a corporate empire, why is she living in a cookie cutter house in the suburbs...? I don't buy it.

Love that we're immediately getting into identity bullshit with Dirk. 10/10.

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

The Senator From Texas

Featuring Sen. Ted Cruz

I was now ready to start my plan of seducing the senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, an arrogant, married, hard-drinking former corporate attorney and political commentator. A so-called real “man’s man” who rarely passes up an opportunity to grandstand, to troll the left or deliver right-wing talking points. He’s also my boss, thirty plus years my senior and one of those family men I suspect with a hidden side that his bleach blonde wife and daughters know nothing about. A side that needs to be exposed. That’s where I come in, the trusted aide who can’t keep his eyes off the ever-present VPL in his trousers and who’ll give him the dirty sex his wife won’t/can’t.

Anyway, because some news about his re-election campaign came up that couldn't wait til morning, Ted was at my apartment. He still had on his suit, minus the tie slacks he had on earlier today. And of course he was still wearing his black ostrich “arguing boots.”

After a few minutes going over some paperwork, Ted noticed what I had playing on my laptop nearby. Some straight porn on mute with no plot, just fucking. I wanted the movie to get right to the point quickly. Ted was trying to ignore it, but obviously liked the movie and I noticed he was getting hard. I casually put my hand on his leg and he did not resist as moved down to Joe's crotch.

"What are you doing?" Ted asked as I slowly massaged his dick through his pants which was nice and hard from watching the movie.

"Just relax Ted. I'm not going to hurt you. Feels good doesn't it?"

"Yes but…" The senator's words were choked off by a lump in his throat.

I could tell he didn't know what to make of the situation as I unzipped his pants and took out his stiff cock.

"You like it, don't you Ted?" He didn't reply as he was too busy enjoying me jerking him off.

Making him stand up, I began to slowly lick the lightly dripping dick.

"Oh god, that's good."

I slowly undressed the senator. First, completely removing his pants and underwear. Of course I keeped his boots on. Then moving up, I removed his jacket. God! It was wonderful. I felt a surge of pure power flash through my body as I pulled his shirt off exposing his broad chest and belly. I smiled at his nipples. They were tiny like most straight men's. I found it amusing that his short thick circumcised dick was still rock hard.

"Damn you smell nice." I said as I bent down and took the beautiful head of his dick in my mouth.

He tried not to moan, but my cock sucking skills were too much for him. I deep throated his old cock and he let out a loud, deep moan, the first of many. I tongued the old man's dick shaft until he started moaning continuously.

Fearing that I was going to make him cum, I stopped and placed a wet kiss on Ted's lips. He started to pull away, but I grabbed him behind the head, held him and forced my tongue into the senator's resistant mouth. Slowly, in spite of himself, he started to respond. Weakly at first, but then as I emptied my soul into the kiss he response became almost passionate.

"Let's go to my bedroom.” I told him when I finally pulled my tongue out of his mouth.

As we broke our embrace, Ted was nervous and almost hyperventilating as I pointed him to my bedroom while I stared at his gorgeous body, almost overcome with lust. His ass cheeks were firm and melon shaped, inviting that I slapped his ass as he went past. As I stripped naked, I found it amusing that his short thick circumcised dick was rock hard as he sat down on the edge of bed waiting for me.

Pushing him back onto the bed, parted the senator's legs and started to suck his cock. He started moaning as I tongued and sucked his thick little dick. His moans were music to my ears. I wanted to make Ted scream and beg for more. He wanted him to come back for more again and again as I started licking his balls to see what he liked best. From there I lightly licked between his thighs as a teaser. Ted was squirming now and clutching the bed sheets to keep from screaming out loud.

“Oh, God! That was wonderful,” The senator said, when I stopped and lifted Ted's legs so I could get fully at his ass.

Pushing my mouth against the rose bud of his asshole, I forced my tongue inside his tight old asshole, he practically squealed with pleasure. He started arching his back and bucking when I began to twist and turn my tongue deep inside his asshole. And damn me if he wasn't reaching down and stroking my head as his dick jerked uncontrollably. I knew I was well on my way to completely subjugating the senator as it wouldn't be long before he was my sex slave. Now I thought it was time to completely win Ted over.

"Fuck me Ted. Fuck me just like you fuck your wife." I said as I crawled on the bed onto my stomach without waiting for him to respond.

Ted looked at me for a long moment as I could almost see the gears in his head, debating if he should take things further. But I guess he was being so worked up and the sight of my ass caused him to continue, pausing for a moment to pull a tube of KY from the nightstand. I tensely watched as Ted applied the lubricate to his cock with the expectation of getting fucked exciting me.

“You got a tight hole.” Ted told me as he rubbed some of the KY onto my asshole.

“Please take it easy with me.” I faux begged as Ted slowly mounted me.

I could tell he was suprised at how easily he slip in before he fucked in and out of my tube. Slowly at first but the tightness of my tube soon got to him and he stabbed his cock in and out of me at a furious pace.

"Damn, Ted that's good. I never felt anything so good. Keep going. Keep going." I said to feed the senator's ego.

I wanted him to think he was really good, although he was indeed better than most. I was trying his best to pump up Ted's ego, even though I was really enjoying the fucking that Ted was giving me.

"Let me up on my hands and knees so you can fuck me doggy style. My dick is rubbing against the bed. I might cum in this position." I said as I eased up to a position on my hands and knees as Ted continued to fuck my ass. Still slowly at first.

He pulled out till the head almost slipped out then thrust it smoothly back in, each entry into me made me catch my breath and made my chest tight. His rhythm began to pick up speed and he grunted with pleasure. I gasped out loud with each thrust into me as his grip tightened.

"Damn, your ass is tight and hot. I think I'm gonna cum. I can't hold back." Ted said, thrusting fully into me, digging his fingers into my hips and grunted holding himself deep in me.

He began spraying my insides with his hot cum.

"Yes… Give it to me. Give me your load. Damn, that's good!" I screamed as Ted blew his load up his ass.

As he lay on top of me and we started to relax, I was thinking now he was going to go into a big guilt trip. Not Ted Cruz, he seemed to want more. He seemed to want to extend our lovemaking and see what would happen next. Meanwhile, I was going over in my mind how I was going to hook Ted on fucking and sucking. I had already convinced him that he was the best fucker in town, now the next part was to get him in bed and fuck the cum out of him. Once that happened without him getting scared off he would then belong to me.

[paleoleigh]

thank you for saying you feel a bit guilty because I’ve also been feeling it and didn’t know if anyone felt the same.

realistically, I should know that some zoomer on the internet calling me a zionist racist genocide apologist does not make me one, especially since those people don’t know jackshit about me as a person. like sorry I’m not constantly posting definitive proof of my irl activism for palestine on my fandom account??

but I’m embarrassed to admit that it gets to me. it really does. getting accused of being all these monstrous things while having extremely poor self-image does not mix well. I’m very stede-coded in that way I guess. I just wish I had more faith in myself to ignore these people and remind myself that yes, I can care about multiple things at once and no, random people on the internet making absolute, final judgments about a person’s moral integrity are not the arbiters of truth

I understand 💕 it's hard not to feel guilty and upset when people are essentially saying you're a bad person. And they're real people, even if they're trolls, so it feels bad! But the fact that you sometimes feel that way means you DO care about the tougher issues.

I think something that's hard for people to understand is how much OFMD means to us in terms of representation. Not just queer rep, but rep of hope, kindness, acceptance, community, and finding yourself at any age. I'll be real for a second - I've considered myself pretty unlovable for most of my adult life. And I see myself in Stede, a weird, goofy, sometimes misguided but earnest person who feels unlovable. And seeing him be loved by basically the coolest guy on the planet so earnestly in return? I can't tell you what that means to me.

So I'm going to fight for the pirate show. Because it's more than a show to so many of us - it's a community. It's representation. It's hope. And it's not just this show we're fighting for! It's almost this wider area of pushing back against ALL terrible CEO decisions made for pure evil profit purposes. I'm pissed at capitalism and corporate greed ruining everything and it's cathartic to scream at the executives about it.

Keep doing what you're doing, and if you need to talk about it more my inbox is always open 💕💕💕

[britt-kageryuu]

It's apparently a very warm day in the studio because there's a quite large inflatable pool in the studio, on top of a giant waterproof tarp. Leo's model is lounging in the pool, he's holding a multicolored fruity drink that he assures is not alcoholic. Just chatting with the audience while splashing the water, and playing with some water toys that were not all visible to the audience.

Every now any then River would pop out and announce notifications. Like, [Thank You, ________ for the $3.14! Is there any topics that are harder to talk about now that you guys are VTubers?]

Leo thought it over for a minute before answering, "Well... Yeah, even though we're not like typical VTubers, some of our fans freaked out the other day. Why? I was on one of our fan servers, and made an announcement that I was finally Graduating... from medical school." He says with some exasperation, "I need to look up why they decided to use 'Graduate' to mean 'retiring from this job'. Thankfully it was very easy to clear up that confusion."

"I think Mandarin had something similar happen when he was talking about getting his certification in counseling. Yeah he fast tracked pretty much all of his classes, and can test out early or something." Leo says with some pride in his voice. "Dee got their Degrees quite a while ago. Though he said that one of them was a 'I proved I know what I'm doing already' degree. The kind that you only get because some corporate person claims they're necessary for a promotion or job position, where it's not actually needed."

Leo stops takes a long drink, "Anywhizzle, my new level of medical professional means I can offer a broader range of treatments at the clinic. I won't list them off, because some people don't want to hear about medical procedures when trying to relax. Though at least a couple of them are very much appreciated."

Some of the chat is now debating on what this could mean, though others are just congratulating Blue for the achievement.

Suddenly Donnie emerged from the pool with a loud yawn. Leo lets out a chuckle.

"Well look who's awake. Enjoy your nap Dee?"

Now all of the audience was very confused. Shouts of 'how deep is the water', 'where was he?', and just a bunch of confused emojis.

Donnie blinks a few times, turns to Leo, then the Camera, and then resubmerged themself into the pool out of view.

Leo just looks at the spot where Donnie is in the pool. "I wonder if this thing is deep enough that Red wouldn't be visible from where the camera is sitting?"

Leo then grabs an inflatable tray with cup holders, and placed his drink, and another into the cup holder, and placed it in the pool. You can still seen the tops of the cups.

Again the audience is still confused, and apparently Leo really wants to troll them today.

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Masterpost