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arofili · 4 years

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how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that

these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)

how’d u get into writing?

not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!

like, writing fic

around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?

my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!

and being part of the silm community,

soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.

I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.

anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.

it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3

being Known, that stuff?

so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.

really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.

also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?

I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.

basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!

for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!

in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.

sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.

um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!

OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.

I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!

and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.

anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3

#silm #silm fandom #silmarillion #fan culture #tmi anna #(for real this time sjdfhdkfh)#tefain nin #long post #anon #answers

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kpopthings · 6 years

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Love Letters – one

genre: fluff, to all the boys i’ve loved before au

words: 1.8k

synopsis: Throughout my whole life I’ve only been in love with five boys; Na Jaemin from Summer Camp, Wong Yukhei a.k.a. Lucas from my foreign language class, Lee Taeyong from kindergarten, Seo Youngho a.k.a. Johnny who I tutored back in middle school, and Kim Dongyoung from when I use to be part of the band club.

a/n: a very very late birthday present from me to you guys!! thanks for all the support you’ve given me. here’s the first part of my new series, i hope you guys will like it ^^

masterlist

Hello, my name is y/n. Okay that introduction sucked but hey at least you know who I am. Anyways I'm a senior in high school, unadulterated, unbothered, and unnoticed. It's basically the cliché, just another antisocial girl conquering high school one day at a time. No one liked me, and I didn’t mind. Honestly, in my opinion I think the whole dating concept is a bit overrated. My friend always told me it was probably because I never dated before but at the same time I guess I just don’t see the appeal. Until the day it all came crashing down.

"I'm sorry, y/n" Jaehyun said, handing me an envelope with his name written in my cursive handwriting. Currently, we're standing by the parking lot of the school, the sea of students quickly dispersing, not paying any mind to me nor the person in front of me. "It'll just... never happen." He gave me one apologetic smile, giving me the envelope before stepping back. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," he put his index finger on his lips, indicating a sign of silence. With that, he walked away, leaving me dumbfounded with the letter tucked in my knuckles.

Holy shit... shit shit shit!

After doing another run over with the letter, I dashed to my friend, Chaeyoung's car. She owned a gray Buick LeSabre, a car handed down from her brother before he moved to college. As I entered the car, I was met with a wild grinned Chae. She bounced up giddily from her seat as she turned to me.

"How did it go? What did he want? Did he confess his undying love for you?" questions after questions, no one can stop Chaeyoung. I held up the pink envelope from my hand, causing her to gasp at the sight. "No..." she trailed off in disbelief. Seeing me in my slumped state, her gaze softened, "He rejected you, didn't he?"

I only nodded lazily, "I mean... I kind of expected it, him and his girlfriend are going well and let's be real, even if Jaehyun was a jock, he's not the kind that would fuck around with other girls."

"I wonder how he got the letter though?" she thought out loud. At that moment, my whole life seemed to flash in front of my eyes. Oh my god...

"Fuck my life." I whispered.

"No..." she trailed off. "You didn't, tell me you didn't!" By this point, the both of us are panicking. Once she saw my face become morbid, she already knew the answer. “You dumb bi-“

“God please don’t remind me,” I said exasperatedly, covering my face with my hands to hide my imminent shame. “Why does this happen to me?”

Another gasp left Chae’s lips, this time, one of excitement, like she just came up with the greatest idea ever. “What if it’s a sign?”

“Then it’s a pretty shitty sign if you ask me.” I deadpanned. She didn’t look amused.

“Let’s face it y/n, your love life is as interesting as watching paint dry.” She retorted, crossing her arms in front of her chest to emphasize her point. “Maybe this is the universe trying to tell you to get back out there.”

“By embarrassing me? I don’t think so.”

“Stop being such a baby and accept this, y/n.” Chaeyoung pressed further. “When was the last time you even saw half the guys you wrote letters to? How about that guy you spent kindergarten with? It’s been years, I’m a hundred percent sure he turned out being one hot meal.”

“You mean Taeyong? It’s been ages, what if he became gross after puberty?”

She rolled her eyes at me negativity, “you’re my friend, y/n. As your friend, I know what you like. And I am absolutely certain, this guy is good.”

“How do you know? It’s not like you’ve ever seen him.”

“You’re a handful, you know that?” she said, starting up the car before turning back to me again. “Well if Taeyong, or whatever his name is does turn out to be some piece of slob. Who’s to say the others won’t? The last time you saw two of them was like two years ago right? Before you guys moved here?”

This is what I liked about Chaeyoung, even though she becomes boy crazy sometimes, she’s one heck of an optimist. And for a pessimistic person like me, I liked to think that we balanced each other out. She was a hopeless romantic, I didn’t see the appeal to it. She changes crushes every week while I only had six. We were complete polar opposites but I guess that’s what make us… us.

Anyways, just like what she said, me and my family moved here. Originally, we’re from Seoul, back when I was a little kid, but then we moved to Busan when I turned six but then dad found a nice job back in Seoul. And now here I am. It was difficult- I had to say goodbye to pretty much everyone. And I had an exam in my Foreign Language Class and I had to study for it sooner than most kids which then led me to Lucas, 1/6 of the boys I wrote letters to, also the guy who tutored me and basically saved me from failing. He’s also the last crush I had before Jaehyun. The other four, well… let me tell you;

Throughout my whole life I've only been in love with five boys (plus one). Namely; Na Jaemin from Summer Camp (he looked really good while setting up a tent), Wong Yukhei a.k.a. Lucas from my foreign language class (the before mentioned person back in my old school), Lee Taeyong from kindergarten (he was one of the only nice boys in school so…), Seo Youngho a.k.a. Johnny who I tutored back in middle school (he looks cute with glasses especially when he looks confused), and Kim Dongyoung or Doyoung as what others call him, he’s from when I use to be part of the band club (again, back in my old school [he played the flute… amazingly if I may add]).

Now, I'm crushing on this guy, Jung Jaehyun, who's the captain of the school's basketball team. Normally, I don’t go for jocks but Jaehyun was just really… charming.

This might be weird, but I have a habit of writing love letters to them. Starting off with Taeyong, to which I wrote his letter back when I was five so it had like doodles and hearts all around the paper. The letter is still with me today with full stamps and everything, although I don't really update the addresses since come on, I'm not that obsessed. Although I did update it whenever we move since I have like this plan to mail them when I get married and I’ll just be like; “thank you for ignoring me all those years ago. I’m getting married!”

But now I guess that plan backfired, colossally. Not only do they know it’s from me, but now they know where I live. Fuck.

This is the story of how I fucked up astronomically, like huge.

And now here I am.

“I knew you were stupid but I didn’t know you were that stupid.” Chaeyoung said bluntly, rounding up from a corner, her eyes firmly on the road ahead while her hand clutched the wheel.

“Stop reminding me!” I whined.

She giggled. “Okay, I’ll stop. But really, this is a sign- I’m willing to bet on it.” She gave me a small gesture of encouragement before returning back to the road.

“I just hope they didn’t get it.” I sighed out, my palms going down my cheeks to make an overly distorted look. “It’s like I’m in a bloody nightmare… I can feel my heart racing.” I pressed one of my hands to my chest, feeling the speeding rhythm as I felt my face feel hot.

“Hey,” Chaeyoung spoke up, placing her hand on my other hand. “Don’t worry about it okay? No matter what happens, I’m right here.”

I only nodded in reply.

Chaeyoung’s right, I shouldn’t worry about it. I mean, it’s not like one of them is going travel all the way to Seoul just to see me.

– Several Days Later –

“y/n, there’s a few mails for you!” my mom called out from downstairs. I placed my phone down on my nightstand before standing up from my bed. I was never a morning person. Somehow, I find it hard to fathom how there are people out there who can function swimmingly right after they wake up. In my experience, a lot of bad things happen to me during the mornings; falling down the stairs (this happened to me twice since we moved here), forgetting books (those important ones you need for classes), accidentally letting go of the laundry basket (this happens mostly during weekends), etc. literally everything that can go wrong, can go wrong for a person not functioning properly.

“Coming!” I yelled, putting on my fuzzy pink slippers before walking down the hall. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, my mom handed me four envelopes.

“I didn’t know you were this popular,” she said.

“I didn’t know people still sends letters.” I retorted, making her scrunch her nose at me. Ironic, am I right?

My eyes travelled down the envelopes. Holy fuck

I rushed up to my room, grabbing my phone and typing a text to Chae.

y/n: [sent 10:40 am] BITCH WTF

y/n: [sent 10:40 am] BITCH WHAT THE FU –

chaeyoung: [sent 10:41 am] I’m coming over.

“I told you it was a sign.” She said, eyes going over the four letters sprawled on my desk. “Doyoung seem nice.” She handed me his letter.

Hi y/n!

Wow I didn’t know you felt that way about me… is my voice really that good? Honestly I never thought someone would say those stuff to me. I’m coming to Seoul in a few days maybe we could meet up? It would be nice if I get to see you again, it’s okay if you don’t want to tho… I understand.

“My money goes to him.” She added, reading another letter, Johnny’s. “Damn, they’re all coming here… for you! And only a few days ago you were saying about how this is a bloody nightmare.” She rolled her eyes, “now you have four admirers coming to see you! I feel like a proud mom.”

“It is turning into a nightmare.” I said matter of factly, plopping down my bed in complete distress.

“Stop being so negative y/n…” she sighed, placing the letters on my nightstand before laying down beside me. “You could always tell them to fuck off,” she suggested, “I’m sure they’ll understand.”

I chuckled softly at that. It felt nice to have Chae around, especially in this sudden inclination of boys in my life.

“y/n, there’s a boy here for you!”

Both me and Chaeyoung looked at each other, eyes wide like deers caught in headlights. The two of us sat up before rushing downstairs. An unfamiliar boy stood a bit awkwardly by the door, a small sheepish smile gracing his feature as he looked up at me.

“Hi y/n”

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