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mysaldate · 4 years

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Late night thoughts #1 — KnY demons and Disney

It's currently 6am here and I haven't been able to fall asleep yet so this still counts as late night thoughts, right? Well, even if not, just enjoy the crack please.

Also, when talking about movies that have been remade, I'm taking the old versions, I haven't seen any of the remakes yet and I'm not exactly planning on it either.

Muzan

Honestly prefers Dreamworks over Disney, especially their earlier works.

Probably still enjoyed Great Mouse Detective or The Black Cauldron. Oh right, and Hunchback of Notre Dame had its good moments for him.

Has that one book that ends every story before the villain gets defeated so it's like they won.

Kokushibou

Genuinely believes Mulan is the only valid Disney film. And that's really only thanks to Li Shang.

Will cut you up if you mention the sequel tho.

One he really hates is Lion King. It just hits too close to home for him.

Douma

HUGE Frozen fan. Emotionally constipated orphaned princess with ice powers who's lived her whole life in isolation and doesn't get people? Come on.

He felt a little called out at first but then he learnt Let It Go by heart.

Saw the sequel at 50 times at the cinema before letting someone talk him into buying the DVD. Cried every time.

Akaza

Really likes Mulan too. And for some reason The Little Mermaid and Hercules too but Mulan is his no. 1.

Won't admit it but he can lip-sync every single song in those movies. Ok, let's be fair, he can lip-sync the whole Mulan movie.

Also enjoyed the Hercules spin-off series even if he rarely got any of the refferences.

Hantengu (and his chaotic boy band)

Actually have Disney movie night marathons. Usually only Yoroko and Karaku make it till morning.

Every single one of them loves Lion King. Sometimes it's on twice in one night. The sequels not so much but Yoroko digs the Hakuna Matata one.

Sekido sometimes does Scar impressions when they act out. Some of them are actually scared of him (and Zira too).

Nakime

The Little Mermaid or Hunchback of Notre Dame are really the only two she enjoyed.

Still can play just about every Disney song EVER on her biwa. She can also sing but usually doesn't.

Yes, that includes songs from sequels and spin-offs. She has lots of time in the Fortress.

Gyokko

Not all that much into Disney, prefers japanese animation most of the time. And japanese movies in general.

Heard of the Ao Oni live action movies? He sent a couple letters to Disney, asking them to adapt the other novels.

Sometimes likes a little comedy. Emperor's New Groove really fell in line with his taste.

Daki

Thinks Cinderella is a comedy. So is Snow White. So is Sleeping Beauty. Yeah, every princess story is a comedy.

Secretly cried in her pillow when she thought Snow White died but nobody can know this.

All-time favourite is Bambi because humans are disgusting.

Gyutaro

Usually just watches whatever Daki does, only rarely on his own.

Likes Pixar production more than Disney originals but it's not major.

Adores Princess and the Frog and Hunchback for obvious reasons (though the literary basis for the later one hurt him to read).

Kaigaku

Not a very big fan but he enjoys the older movies. Thinks the new ones suck and isn't afraid to say that to your face.

For some reason really likes Robin Hood. And Oliver & company.

Can and will sing rock/metal versions of every Disney song that has such a version already made. Has made children cry with this in the past and can again if desired.

Enmu

Ever heard of Great Locomotive Chase? Being based on an actual event makes it all the more appealing to him. He will watch anything tho.

Usually falls asleep within first three minutes but somehow remembers everything anyway?

Sometimes goes to cons or public reading events to share the "real stories" the Disney movies were based on. He's banned from 4 cons and 26 libraries all across Japan so far.

Rokuro

Actually really loves Disney and remembers at least one quote for every character who has at least a line.

Really likes all The Three Musketeers movies.

Sometimes a little confused about early Dreamworks production since they look so similar.

Wakuraba

Not that much of a fan but he knows the classics. Not that any of them speaks to him personally.

Sometimes gets called Banzai after that one hyena in Lion King. He hates it but at least it's not Ed.

Doesn't realize Disney doesn't only make animated movies. Maybe one day.

Mukago

Knows the Disney renessaince era and then the modern movies. Also heard of Lady and Tramp at one point.

Probably kinda likes Pocahontas and doesn't understand why are the americans so angry about it.

Paint With All the Colours of the Wind is forever his (her?) ringtone and you can't do anything about it.

Rui (and fam)

Apparently there was a movie called The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band.

He gets bored by it anyway but keeps it on for the aesthetics.

Also have movie nights but usually not Disney-only. And he's the only one allowed to pick movies anyway. Bambi or Lion King are common choices.

Kamanue

Dreamworks fan.

Used to enjoy Marvel but refuses to support Disney.

Gets stuck babysitting Enmu far too often tho so he knows all the movies anyway.

Kyogai

Underrated movies fan. Both the "dark era" of Disney animation and anything else that got lost over time.

Top favourite is, and will forever be, Treasure Planet. He squeels like a little kid when watching that one.

Thinks sequels deserve some love too even if they weren't as good as the originals.

Susamaru

Star Wars fan mostly but won't say no to some older Disney classic. Just not anything too "woke" or princessy.

Emperor's New Groove is right up her alley and she knows everything about the movie.

Also really liked the Jungle Book. Except for the ending. She just wants Mowgli to grow up to be the next Tarzan but without the girl.

Yahaba

Prefers the book originals and complains about adaptations way too much.

Kind of enjoyed Hercules because of all the refferences to old mythology, that made him feel smart. But they messed up a few things so there's that.

What do you mean Prince of Egypt is not Disney?

Tamayo

Casual fan, doesn't really get the appeal beyond "Aw, what a cute cartoon!"

Not a fan of the dirty jokes slipped in sometimes, nor the other adult refferences.

Likes Jane from Tarzan because she's a good girl who came to study animals and found love and was overall super wholesome. She also likes Belle.

Yushiro

Pretends to be annoyed but actually loves princess movies most of them all.

Has a secret collection of figurines. Everything he can get his hands on, though villains usually get burnt or otherwise creatively disposed of.

Convinced Tamayo is a princess and that birds do her hair every morning. You can't change his mind.

Swamp triplets

Princess movies preffered because the girls are really pretty (and sometimes below 16, let's be fair).

Can never agree which one is the best though. One says it's Belle, Two claims Moana is superior to any princess, Three usually goes with Snow White or Sleeping Beauty but he can't make up his mind.

All of them are kinda scared of Jafar because he reminds them of Muzan a bit.

Hand demon

Probably knows all the animated movies by heart. And all the villain songs.

Loves Brother Bear. A lot.

Still scared of the bad guys, he just thinks they have hip songs and cool style.

Nezuko

Looks up to the badass Disney girls. No, not Anna and Elsa, the actual badass Disney girls.

Sometimes jokes that Tanjiro and her are a bit like Lilo and Stitch. Tanjiro makes sure to point out she's a princess though.

Absolutely loves Big Hero Six and Zootopia. You know, obvious reasons.

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sparklyjojos · 6 years

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the promised summary of Smoke, Soil or Sacrifices. [tw: a lot of child abuse in a dysfunctional family, mentioned suicide]

The narrator is Natsukawa Shirou [ 奈津川四郎], an ER surgeon working in San Diego. You know the type: workaholic with a god complex, wearing Armani coats and having casual sex left and right, but also constantly sleep-deprived and popping anxiety pills like its candy. He has deep-seated aggression issues that even he himself is afraid of getting out of control, and to manage it he trained boxing for a while before a gang drove him out of the gym (long story). As his name implies, he's the youngest of four brothers - in order of birth: Ichirou [一郎], Jirou [二郎], Saburou [三郎] and him, Shirou [四郎] - but since he's working in the USA, he hasn't seen his family for a while.

One winter day Shirou learns that back in Japan, his mother got seriously hurt and is currently in a coma. He flies back to his Japan hometown, Nishi Akatsuki, meets with an old classmate Takaya Yoshio (who everybody calls “Rupan”, like Lupin the Third, after he once wrote that word instead of ‘renessaince’ on a test), and learns that there’s more to the attack: someone has been attacking the women of Nishi Akatsuki, hitting them in the back of the head and then partially burying them in the ground. None of the five victims died, but most were still unconscious, and no one saw the attacker. Even if his mother is alive, Shirou gets so furious about the attack that he nearly destroys Rupan’s car before he can calm himself down; he really does have violence issues. (Also Rupan is dating a high schooler Yamaguchi Usagi behind his wife’s back and Shirou has a really bad feeling about it).

We learn a little about the Natsukawa family. They’re descended from a German immigrant Hans who left them two things: first, ridiculous for Japanese standards height (the brothers are all >185cm tall); second, a mysterious warehouse with triangle-shaped floor and ceiling that he built next to the family house. Its history is grim: Hans’s son Daimaru (大丸) hanged himself inside the warehouse, and then Daimaru’s son, Maruo (丸雄, the narrator’s father) tended to close one of his kids inside a lot for misbehaving. Shirou remembers Maruo, and thinks about how as a kid he saw that his father’s body was scarred all over, which Maruo claimed was a remainder of injuries from one or another war.

Shirou has a reunion with two of his brothers, Ichirou and Saburou. Jirou, the second oldest, has mysteriously disappeared at 17 and nobody has seen him since, it seems. Ichirou is a politician, just like their father Maruo, while Saburou writes mystery novels starring detective Runbaba 12. (Shirou thinks they’re ridiculous, and remembers one that had the hero looking for his daughter and somehow ending up living with an amnesiac woman and a gay guy, or some nonsense like that.)

---

The serial attacker case is overseen by a Tokyo police officer Marikku Takahiro (真陸隆宏) and a Nagoya prosecutor Shirai Masami (白碑将美), both Shirou’s old schoolmates. Upon learning the facts about the case from them, Shirou figures out something nobody else realized: if on a map of Nishi Akatsuki you draw lines between some houses of the victims, and draw a spiral based on it, it’ll go perfectly through all the victims’ houses. [I’m not sure how to explain it in text, so here’s the map in question -- the numbers are houses:]

Shirou goes to where the origin of the spiral points to, at the shore of the river Shounokawa (not pictured on the map), and finds an empty coffin buried in the ground. He alarms the police and Saburou, who arrives at the scene with his detective friend, Banba Junjirou (番場潤二郎). [Interestingly enough, he shares the last two kanji of his first name with Jirou, but it isn’t brought up ever -- I don’t know if this coincidence is done just for the sake of having a red herring, or will it be important in a later book]. Saburou often affectionately calls Banba ‘Runbaba’ and it seems he based the character in his books off of him. He originally hired Banba to help find Jirou, the missing brother, but they’ve been unsuccesful so far. Banba doesn’t really do anything useful at the scene, only claiming nonsense like the coffin being actually a time machine.

Shirou learns that the serial attacker always makes a photo of the crime scene and writes some nonsensical letters on it, and always puts an animal plushie in the ground next to the victim (so far: sheep, elephant, lion, sheep, koala). Through some truly inspired reasoning Shirou notices that since the victims were only partially buried, their body parts were always kinda sticking out in a grid pattern, and you can ‘read’ them like syllabary Braiile code. The resulting message is ‘MAMATASUKE’, seemingly a part of ‘mama tasukete’ = ‘help me mom’. And if you treat the letters on the photos as a Caesar cipher key, and pair it in a very complicated way with the names of the victims, you’ll get DRMN / NOBT / SZK / SNEO / GIAN... which looks like nothing, but these are abbreviations of famous kids cartoon characters, eg. the first one is Doraemon. Soon after this discovery, they learn that another victim was attacked (incidentally it’s Marikku’s mother), and the discovered pattern of plushies/words/etc. seems to continue.

Shirou goes to the hospital to visit his mother, meets Ichirou there and they start physically fighting kinda out of nowhere. Not because they hate each other for any reason; just because, it seems, there is something inside them that drives them to violence-as-bonding. After they flee the security, they talk about the case, and wonder if it wasn’t their missing brother Jirou who’s at fault. This conversation sends Shirou on a long trip down memory lane.

---

When Shirou was 9, he took three abandoned puppies home. The brothers were told they couldn’t keep them, and so the puppies eventually got entrusted to Jirou (then 12) so he’d find them a good owner somewhere else, but as he later admitted he’d just drowned them in the river instead. Jirou didn’t seem to care about the horrible thing he did. In fact, he always did horrible things, like breaking windows in other houses or killing and eating the neighbours’ chickens, and their father Maruo always locked him in the triangle warehouse for that. In primary school Jirou enacted long painful revenge on his bullies, and even called the terror he instilled his ‘Days of Creation’, as if the things he did were ‘a seal given to other by God’. But Jirou’s acts were (as present Shirou now thinks) a natural result of the violence that had been bestowed upon him finally exploding.

Jirou had been abused by Maruo ever since he'd been a tiny child; his every mistake was viciously criticized, and he was ‘jokingly’ threatened with getting abandoned in the mountains. After some time Maruo started beating him, and while Jirou pretended like he didn’t care, it was clear he was terrified and in pain. Ichirou as the oldest brother tried to stop Maruo or get outside help, for years and years, but nothing ever worked.

Eventually one day Maruo seemed to see his mistakes, crying promised to do better and embraced the kids (except Ichirou, who was skeptical and didn’t want to take a part in any display like that). Maruo really seemed to behave a little better after that, though mostly he was completely ignoring Jirou now. This caused Jirou to act out in order to get attention, which each time made Maruo close him in the triangle warehouse. Again, Jirou acted like it was nothing, and called the warehouse his ‘summer residence’, even if all of them were terrified of the dark place that was allegedly haunted by their grandfather’s ghost. Eventually Jirou’s actions escalated into committing petty crimes, and then all-out violence, though he drew a line at murder.

It was only after Maruo’s mother’s intervention that Maruo finally moved to Tokyo for some time, leaving the kids in her charge. Ichirou started tutoring Jirou and was surprised to find out that Jirou was actually incredibly smart; the boy could recite entire passages from books after flipping through them once, and draw complicated maps from memory. He still walked the path of violence, though, and once Maruo came back from Tokyo, the boy got hit and locked inside the warehouse a lot again. Because of his deeds Jirou at times seemed positively demonic to our young narrator; he even once recited Shirou a poem he wrote, which basically said ‘hey, remember those puppies? I killed them with a knife’ (actually it was deeper and more interesting than that, with a hidden promise from the poem’s narrator towards the dead puppies that ‘if I became god, you’d be the first ones I revive’, but obviously talking about that event hurt Shirou a lot all on its own). But even then, Shirou recalls he still held love for Jirou; they were brothers, after all.

Time passed. Ichirou moved toward a political career like his father. Saburou got attacked on the street and had his hand broken, which made him paranoid that somebody from the neighborhood / some organized crime group was out to kill him, but he still laughed at Shirou’s suggestion to run away from home (’and where would we run?”). He ended up ditching the piano that he had always loved playing, and instead got into fights a lot. Jirou by the time of high school was very popular among his peers, infamous among the Fukui policemen, had ‘fans’, and often smuggled girls into his bedroom, which again earned him a trip to the warehouse if Maruo caught him.

In 1986, when Jirou was 17, their grandmother (Maruo’s mother, the same who made him leave that one time) was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and stayed in the hospital in constant horrible pain. While Maruo tended to run away from the situation excusing himself with work trips, Jirou unexpectedly stayed by his grandmother’s side every night. On her death bed, she told her grandsons that “no matter how great or rich a person is, death will turn them into smoke, soil or sacrifices; the burned ones turn into smoke, the buried ones into soil, the others into sacrifices for wild beasts.” She apologized that she couldn’t protect the kids better, and that’s it’s her fault for raising Maruo badly. Then, in pain, she suddenly yelled ‘Daimaru, who killed you?!”, and then just before death demanded to see Maruo once more, to tell him that he’s still the one she loved the most in the world -- that last dying line was shocking to everyone, but hurt Jirou the most.

From then on, Jirou and Maruo’s conflict escalated even more, with Jirou for some reason starting to blame Maruo for Daimaru’s sucide. On 19 December the two started a horrible furniture-breaking physical fight while Saburou and Shirou could only helplessly watch. Suddenly their mother entered the scene with a knife in her hand, but she didn’t use it to stop the fight or otherwise help Jirou, who was looking at her with hope. Instead she screamed that it was Jirou she felt like stabbing, that it was all his fault and he should apologize to his father. Jirou didn’t intend to apologize (instead yelling that maybe it’d be better if he’d never been born), and the situation ended in Maruo brutalizing him and still bleeding throwing into the warehouse.

The next morning, Jirou couldn’t be found anywhere, as if he just vanished from the locked warehouse, and if the other brothers were honest, they were actually pretty glad about that.

Back in the present day, Shirou notices that the way a victim’s head is positioned always points like an arrow to the next crime scene, and tells Shirai to guard the houses the last victim points to.

Shirou then goes to the hospital once more to check on his mother, and surprises himself by crying a lot. Later he meets a nurse called Hatakida Atena that catches his eye with her red coat, but nothing comes out of it (he’s bad at / afraid of / unable to have anything more intimate than purely sexual relationships going on, it seems). Then his mother is visited by another victim of the case, Satou Ryouko, who tearfully recalls her joyful near-death experience she had after being attacked. She saw bright light, felt a warm god-like presence, then wandered through a giant forest and met the dead poet Raymond Carver that she had no prior knowledge about (she even recites his poem ‘My Death’). An unassuming student called Nozaki Hiroshi approaches them and seems to be very interested in Satou’s experience, asking for an interview, which she agrees to, as she feels the need to share her wonderful experience with the world.

And then there’s this... out-of-nowhere fragment in which Shirou and Ichirou’s wife Rihoko in the spur of the moment have sex in a random hospital closet (they apparently had an affair two years earlier), and some thugs hired by Ichirou’s political opponents snap pics and try to blackmail Shirou, but he fights them like it’s a damn martial arts movie except with more violence (like ‘biting into someone’s jugular’ kind of violence), and Shirou comes out of it alive but in pretty horrible shape, with the photos destroyed, and what the hell was that?

Hitching a ride back to town with Marikku, Shirou realizes that it’s possible it’s actually Marikku who’s behind the murders, as the sixth victim was his abusive mother, who it seems has still been inflicting physical abuse on him even after all these years. Maybe Marikku figured out the pattern of the attacks early on, and used it to arrange a copycat crime that’d get blamed on the original culprit? But just as Shirou confronts Marikku, they get into a car accident. Shirou gets some bones broken, while Marikku dies. Shirou isn’t sure whether it was suicide or not, but suspects the original culprit may have wanted to get rid of them -- later an investigation of the wreck proves that somebody tampered with the car.

Saburou and Rupan help Shirou make a daring escape from the hospital, and the brothers are having quite a lot of fun working together during that entire scene, even if Shirou’s injuries are so severe he has to fight his body not to faint from pain at times. Later, as they return to Nishi Akatsuki, Saburou admits that he and detective Banba believe the criminal may be Jirou, back to take revenge on the town (Banba didn’t disclose more information, as apparently he doesn’t like to tell Saburou anything until he has everything figured out). As proof, they found an old paper -- with the exact spiral pattern used in the crime drawn on it -- in the triangle warehouse, so it’s likely Jirou drew that before his disappearance. During the ride the brothers learn from Yamaguchi Usagi that the plushies found with the victims are their corresponding Doubutsu uranai animals (a sort of new hip horoscope that gives you a different animal depending on your date of birth).

Saburou tells Shirou that there’s another link between the victims: the two women that regained consciousness so far both had a Near-Death Experience (Saburou says it’s super interesting and mentions he’d like to use it in another book of his). Shirou thinks that it may not be a coincidence; maybe the attacker intends on giving the victims NDE like it’s some weird modern ritual, and the plushies serve the same purpose as ritual dolls, as empty vessels to which illness or other bad stuff would be passed? Suddenly Shirou remembers that random Nozaki Hiroshi guy who seemed very happy hearing about NDE from one of the victims, and something clicks. Shirou phones Nozaki’s mother and through some seemingly innocent questions (’Was he in Nishi Akatsuki lately? Does he act like this and this? ...Does he like Doraemon?’) realizes that the serial attacker really is Nozaki. They alert Shirai Masami and local media and rush to Nozaki’s house.

But they’re too late. In the house instead of Nozaki they find the body of detective Banba stabbed to death twenty one times, and Nozaki’s parents strangled by their own son. It seems Banba had figured out the solution before everyone else, and came to this house yesterday without telling Saburou. (”Rest in peace, Runbaba 12,” Shirou thinks reflexively.)

In the house they find a note from the criminal, who claims to be fulfilling orders of ‘the Great God Jawakutora-sin’ (or Jawakutora-shin), who governs over all human souls, but as those souls are ‘dirty, unaware, unseeing and ignorant’, the god wants to make them clean. The cleansing proccess has to start with mothers, so the next generation of humans would hopefully already be ‘clean’. Apparently Nozaki in his childhood had a NDE himself, saw ‘Jawakutora’s light’ and understood his guidance. The method involves hitting a precise spot at the back of a person’s head. This causes a ‘perfect opening’ in the skull to form, through which the soul can briefly fly out and have a NDE, that is, ‘be shown reality’, and also be shown Jawakutora’s great spiral structure (a spiral being its symbol) -- that’s the spiral on the map of Nishi Akatsuki. Jawakutora also told Nozaki to do all the other things: bury the victims, write the letters on the photos, and use the plushies (’animals who have never been given souls’. Or something).

While this note shows clearly that the culprit is just some religious fanatic, something bugs Shirou, and he still thinks Jirou may be involved, especially since the two dogs of the family were also killed without any reason.

After Banba’s death, Saburou mourns him and closes himself alone in the triangle warehouse for long periods of time. This unexpectedly allows him to discover something, and he calls Ichirou and Shirou to the warehouse. (Maruo and his wife at that time have a job-related meeting with a few other people in the house). This something is the mystery of their grandfather Daimaru’s death.

As Saburou points out, the old stains left from the corpse’s bodily fluids are spread over a significant area, in an arc, which would mean that the hanging corpse had to somehow move around in a circle. Saburou found out that the ceiling of the warehouse can be moved, independently of the walls, by pressing a hidden button. The ceiling rotates in such a way that the building seen from above eventually looks like a 6-pointed star, which was the warehouse’s purpose in the first place: apparently, their great-grandfather Hans was secretly Jewish, and while he was afraid of persecution if he showed his identity outright, he constructed this mechanism as a great big fuck you to the bigoted society who had no clue a giant Star of David was right under their noses.

When the ceiling is moved, there are large enough gaps in some places that a person can fit through; that’s how both Jirou and Daimaru’s murderer could get out. Yes, Daimaru was actually murdered -- by his own son Maruo, the son that he had abused for years and years. That abuse was what gave Maruo his scars. The violence instilled on him, which he then passed to his own sons...

While the brothers talk in the warehouse unaware of anything else, Nozaki sneaks into the main house and stabs everyone he runs into, eventually wounding every single person there. Maruo manages to dodge him and runs towards the warehouse, and in the heated moment yells, ‘Ichirou, Jirou, Saburou, Shirou! Run!”. The names of all his sons.

The brothers run out and see Nozaki stab Maruo, and as Ichirou moves to help his father he also gets injured. This makes the other two brothers’ blood boil and they fight Nozaki, with Shirou eventually using the attacker’s own knife to stab him. But Shirou’s job isn’t done yet: with help of Saburou he gets everyone moved to one spot, grabs his doctor bag, and through his sheer skills of an ER surgeon, lightning fast decisions and improvising on the spot, he manages to keep everyone including Maruo and Ichirou alive until the ambulance arrives. [And it’s fucking amazing to read.]

After Shirou heals physically (he did run away from the hospital earlier, after all), he goes to Rupan’s wife Takaya Mari, who’s a psychologist, and makes the first step on his way to heal emotionally. He cries like a baby throughout the entire session, finally lets so many emotions pour out chaotically out of him, and leaves with a lot of things in his head finally sorted out.

Later through his own investigation he learns that Jirou is alive and well, now working in the Ministry of Finances under the name ‘Kawaji Natsurou’, which is so obviously an anagram of ‘Natsukawa Jirou’ it’s surprising nobody noticed.

...but another romaji spelling of Jirou’s name (’Natsukawa Jiro’) is also an anagram for ‘Jawakutora-sin”, and Shirou now understands who was the mastermind behind Nozaki’s actions; who wanted to enact revenge on the mother who in a critical moment turned against him, and most likely on the entire family sooner or later. ...Although Shirou has a feeling he won’t try anything like that anymore.

During the therapy session, Shirou expresses forgiveness towards his father, and wonders whether or not this quick forgiveness isn’t just a foolish decision made in spur of the moment, under strong emotions... but after he heard Maruo yell all their names trying to save them in a similar moment of emotions, he has a feeling things will get better. Shirou’s mother hasn’t woken up yet, but he’s sure she’ll come out of that wonderful giant forest eventually. The force putting their family together is powerful like gravity -- whether this power won’t just bring another disaster, nobody can tell. Certainly, it’s best if Jirou still keeps as far away from them as it’s possible. Maybe it’d be for the best if every single one of them stayed apart, never had children, and let this cursed family be finally destroyed; maybe it’d be for the best if all that remained was smoke, soil or sacrifices. But it’s not the time to think about death. For now, what matters is that they’re all alive and have to try and keep on living.

In the end, Shirou calls Atena (the nurse from earlier) and asks her to sleep with him -- literally sleep with him, mostly -- and with the warm and safety, and another person’s heartbeat so close by, he can finally sleep calmly.

#maijo and jdc stuff #this book was actually pretty wholesome?#it had some rough patches but I liked it overall #long post

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