#adamlevinefanfic

[until-the-joy-drops-again]

It was Always You 1

*I was listening to this song and just REALLY wanted to write a story behind it... and it has since spiralled out of control lol.. I hope you like it*

Watching her singing, dancing around the room, her face relaxed and happy, the guilt hit me like a punch to the stomach. The realization of how selfish I was about to be took over every fiber of my being. For fuck sake Adam, its not like you just went away for the weekend... you walked out on her TWO FUCKING YEARS ago! Look at the life she has built for herself since then, look at how happy she is ...

As if she were reading my mind, she turned and smiled at me, singing the last of her lyrics but I didnt hear the words. Her beautiful hazel eyes were shining, her smile was easy, honest, true... what the fuck was I doing?

"Dude, dont you FUCKING dare."

I turned to the voice next to me, Adrien was staring at me, frowning. I started to open my mouth but he cut me off.

"Do you not see how she looks at you? How she smiles at you? She sure as fuck doesnt look like that for anyone else....you guys make each other happy and you both deserve that."

"But it's been two years-"

He cut me off, "you're here NOW."

I looked back out at her. I heard her song winding down and my guts twisted. My confidence cracked and the fear set in... would she understand why I did what I did? Fuck, would she even CARE to hear why? This past week this moment has been all I could think about, running EVERY possible outcome through, trying to find the perfect words, the perfect gestures, the perfect everything to make these past two years disappear. To get her to give me a chance to explain. It had all seemed so easy... but now... with her right here in front of me, it seemed impossible. What was I doing?

The music suddenly ended, and had I not been drowning in my own fear over what was coming, I would have laughed, The second the music stopped, everyone scattered back to the walls, leaving only her and I in the middle of the floor. She had turned to me again and smiled, I tried to smile back but I know it didnt work. She frowned ever so slightly and said my name, confusion and concern on her face, before she realized we were suddenly all alone. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she turned to look around her and I had to look away. She had a few more lines on her face now, but i still knew every single one of them by heart. I had never forgotten every inch of her, the way she squinted her eyes when she smiled with her whole soul, the way her nose crinkled up when she got fake angry at being teased, that spark in her eye when she talked to me. It all came rushing back, stabbing me like a knife. I tried to take a deep breath but it staggered as I knew there was no way out but forward... but I couldn't look at her... I cleared my throat in the silence that had overtaken the house.

"I, uh, wrote a new song..." it took all of my strength to turn and look at her again, "for you." I met her gaze and involuntary winced when her eyes got bigger, looking at me, confused and... scared? And she took a hesitant step towards me. Then Tom started the music on his keyboard and she, thankfully, looked at him. I dropped my gaze to the floor again, realizing I was rubbing the back of my neck with my hand... all too quickly, it was my cue to start singing... so I did.

"Woke up sweating from a dream....With a different kind of feeling, oh" I honestly felt like I was going to die. The idea that this could be the absolute last time of being around her, crushed me. I somehow had managed to lie to myself the past two years, that I would be ok without her, that I could breath and smile and feel joy away from her... but now, with her right there, right HERE... I realized none of that was true. She had always been the air I needed to breath, the water I needed to live...

"All day long my heart was beating...Searching for the meaning, oh" my body convulsed inward as I tried to take in a deep breath and find the strength to look up at her again, knowing her face wouldn't hold any of that easy happiness that I had been drinking in since I got here. I knew there would be a darkness that would settle in her eyes, maybe even anger at me for being gone and just coming back with a song without any other conversation, without even an 'I'm sorry.' Not that I had had a chance to, but still...

I dragged my eyes back to hers and almost forgot my next line. The darkness was there, but there was no anger, there was an openness that grabbed my heart with both hands and clung to it. Please God let that stay. Please let that stay... but when she blinked the look was gone and she seemed so far away, lost in her head somewhere... I had to get her back.

"Hazel eyes," I stepped towards her, planning to close the distance between us but she snapped out of her trance with such fire in her eyes, it stopped me dead in my tracks. I couldn't read what it meant, but she was really good at being stoic, I was trying to find any of her little tells that would let me break through to her just a little, but I couldn't find any. But then, as quick as it appeared, the mask was gone... and I saw her heart rip apart.

The pain on her face killed me. I had never seen her that vulnerable before with that much hurt showing openly. And I was the one that caused it. Every piece of me was on fire, I wanted to take that pain from her, I NEEDED to take it from her. I would trade her all the happiness I have ever known to make her not feel like she was. I instinctively moved up to her, trying to figure out what she needed me to do in this moment.

"I was so color blind...We were just wasting time, uh uh babe." Her eyes filled with tears and I saw the anguish cross her face before she looked away from me and closed her eyes. I grabbed her then, by her arms, knowing this was going to be it, knowing I needed to do this more than I needed to breath.

"For my whole life, we never crossed the line....Only friends in my mind, but now I realize," I moved my hands to cup her face, as gently as I could but my need for her to understand was breaking through. When I touched her face I felt a fire rip through me, her skin electric, surging through my heart, my lungs, my brain. She must have felt it to because her eyes flew open, they were just inches from me, the hope i read giving me the strength i needed...

"It was always you."

Her body gulped in air like she had never never taken a breath before. Her eyes were instantly clear and I felt them reach deep inside me. Finding my deepest secrets and all the words i had never said.

"Can't believe I could not see it all this time...All this time...It was ALWAYS. YOU." There was so much emotion that ran through me on those last two words. Trying to make them say everything I've needed to say for what felt like my entire life. But I saw a veil drape over her face that only seemed to allow complete shock to show through. And I was terrified.

"Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied." I suddenly realized I still had her face in my hands and I felt more awkward than I had ever felt before. My body moved them away before my brain could stop them. I slid my hands down her face, down her neck, wanting so BADLY to be able to keep them there, forever. But I couldn't, so I trailed them over her shoulders and down her arms.

"Satisfied...It was always you, you...No more guessing who." I could see her fighting herself, that's just what she always did. I knew how her mind worked and at that moment I saw my first real opening to get her out of herself for a moment. I took her hands in mine and pulled her close. I needed her to MOVE, to let her brain turn off for just a second. Get her to be in this moment with me. So I danced with her. Just shuffling my feet, getting her to turn in just the smallest of circles. Just enough that I was able to see everything she had walled up inside her, come tumbling out. And then she was there. Her entire being and soul was staring back at me. I could see her piece herself back together around this instance that we were sharing. I saw her spark, I saw her hope, I saw her EVERYTHING.

"Looking back now I know it was always you...Always you"

I never wanted that look to end, I wanted to see more, I wanted her to look at me without any doubt about how I felt for her.

"All my hidden desires...Finally came alive, hmm ...No, I never told lies...To you so why would I,"

I spun her again, desperate to not have a cloud reappear over her eyes. To keep them clear so she could see everything I was telling her... and for her to give me permission to hold her and never let her go. I caught her in my arm, firmly placed on the small of her back and then everything was gone except her and i.

I felt her arm go around me and grab at my clothes, her other hand went to my side and took hold. I tensed at her touch, not realizing how badly I needed it. She looked up at me.

"Start tonight....Hazel eyes, I was so color blind...We were just wasting time, uh uh yeah...For my whole life, we never crossed the line...Only friends in my mind, but now I realize,"

Her hand on my side was suddenly cupping my cheek and bringing my face down to meet hers. Our foreheads touched as she spoke my name, sending lightning bolts through my body. I had never loved my name more than when it slipped out of her lips. Then she sang with me...

"It was always you."

My brain just stopped... everything I had been holding in for much longer than I had realized, spilled out inside of me. I jerked back in shock, needing to see that what had just happened, really actually happened. Did she mean it? I studied every centimeter of her face, the pang of honest and real hope that formed in my heart was overwhelming. But when I looked at her, her face was so soft, so open, every piece of her seemed available to me. Nothing was veiled, nothing was dark. And I felt myself smile, so easily and wholly. My body SCREAMING for her as I ducked my head back in to meet hers. My lungs felt light and when I went to sing, my voice just seemed to float out.

"Can't believe I could not see it all this time...All this time," our noses brushed against each others first, then our foreheads. I felt her hands on me instantly. Grabbing at my shirt, my back, my sides. I wanted more, I wanted to feel her entire body on mine.

"It was always you"

And all of a sudden I saw her laugh. It was so effortless and pure, more easy than I had ever seen before. She laughed for ME. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. SHE was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied...Satisfied...It was always you, you"

I had no idea how big I was smiling until I leaned towards her, the closer my lips got to hers, the more my smile shrank. I wanted nothing in the way of my lips meeting hers. I had full intentions of a wild and passionate kiss, but as soon as I felt her breath on my face, I got shy. I still didnt believe this was happening. I had waited long...

Our lips brushed against each others. I was still waiting for it to turn bad. For her to recoil, or slap me or any other thing that I felt I deserved... but she didnt. And then I heard her gasp and my smile ruined our kiss, but only long enough for my shyness to be replaced for my hunger for her. I somehow was able to grab her harder, move her closer, feel her more completely as our lips met again, until I felt he starting to smile, her lips elongating, being pulled away from mine. And even those I wanted this kiss to last forever, I felt a smile forming on my face too. I pulled back ever so slightly.

"It was always you," my voice could only register a soft tone, I felt weak now that I had her tucked safely in my embrace. An embrace I knew I would never ever let go of. As the music continued to play around us, I tried to find the right words, "I'm sorry I disappeared, but I needed space, i needed to do things right...i needed to do THIS right. My marriage was never anything. My divorce wasnt because of you, but because it wasnt what i needed and I always...i have just... I have always needed YOU." I pulled back a little farther, but just far enough to look at her, to make sure she understood everything I said was true. That all of me was standing here for HER.

"Adam..." her voice seemed frail and it trailed off as we both finally caught the sound of everyone around us cheering. Those fuckers! I chuckled as I realized how stupid I had been. Her cheeks turned pink and she chuckled too. Then our audience took over the song and started singing loudly and joyfully...

"No more guessing who...Looking back now we know it was always you...Always you!!...Ah, yeah ..."

Everything was perfect. It was incredible and amazing and probably one of the greatest moments of my life. Standing here, with her, and being part of something with so many people that all shared this indescribable joy with me. I couldn't help but laugh...really laugh. I looked down at her and saw the same raw joy in her laughter too.

I took her hand and spun her, catching her again, but tighter. I pulled her as close to me as I could, putting my one hand back on the back of her neck where I had so desperately wanted to hold only minutes ago. And I kissed her, as hard as I could. I kissed her for all the fear I had held onto for so long. I kissed her for all those missed moments, for the last two years. I wanted to finish my song to her but I ust couldn't give her lips up, I pulled away just enough to form words but still keep my lips on hers.

"Woke up sweating from a dream...With a different kind of feeling....It was always you....Even if I could not see it all this time...All this time...It was always you...always." our friends took over from there. All their voices combining into one, giving her and I more time to ourselves. I would never be able to thank them enough for it.

I wanted to touch every part of her at once. I ran my hands up and down her back, grabbing her hip bone hard under my fingers, then back up and buried them in her hair, trying to bring her closer.

"Now we know why his heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied....It was always you, you...No more guessing who...Looking back now we know it was always you, always you...It was always you"

[adamlevinefanfic]

CHAPTER 1

SERENA

  “Reens, we have our first day of high school today at our new school. Are you excited because I’m like insanely excited! Like this is unreal…it’s finally happening…those high school boys and homecoming and parties that we didn’t have in the city; everything just sounds amazing.” My sister, Lily said to me as she ate her breakfast.

  “Yeah, Lil, I mean I guess I’m excited and all to start fresh here in LA, but I miss New York City and my friends and school and everything there. We’ll see how everything goes, I guess.” I said.

  “Reens, get pumped! HIGH SCHOOL! WOO!” Lily yelled.

  “Lil, I’m a sophomore, it’s your first day of high school, not mine. I hope high school is all you imagined it to be and more!” I said even though I really knew that high school sucked and was not really different from middle school. There were still cliques and there were still people that were assholes for no reason.

  “Lil, Reens, let’s go. I wanna try out for football today, so hurry up, guys! I’m driving you to school.” My brother, Theo said.

  “Coming, Theo and thanks for driving us.” I said to Theo as I sat next to him shotgun.

  “Guys, even though New York and the parties and chicks were amazing, a fresh start here in LA might be awesome.” Theo said.

  “Alright, Theo. Are you scheming anyone yet…?” I asked him as he chuckled and winked.

  “Kinda sorta…this girl Isabel is really hot and so is this girl Hannah that I also know from like parties and shit, so like yeah, I guess you could say the schemer is back and better than ever.” Theo, my womanizing brother said.

  “Theo…you’re such a freak, but can you please turn the radio on?” I asked as he turned the radio on and Love Somebody by Maroon 5 came on.

  “I love this song.” I said as Ryan Secreast announced on air that Maroon 5 would be breaking up soon because of artistic differences.

  “Great, my favorite band is breaking up and I’m starting at a new school, literally what could be worse?” I thought as I got out of the car and took about 3 minutes taking in the breathtaking views and appearance of my new school. I walked into the main building and got my schedule, it looked like I had music class first period. I walked into the music building and found the room with ease; I picked a seat towards the back of the room as I didn’t really want to be called on by the teacher. The teacher of the course, Noah Adam, as it appeared on my schedule strutted into the classroom.

“Hey, class. So I’m Mr. Adam, I’ll be your music teacher for the semester, so we’ll be doing basic composition and songwriting like the course description says, but we’ll also be doing a large research project throughout the semester on your favorite singer, band or group. I’m pretty low key, so if you can’t get something in on time just shoot me an email. If you guys have any questions yet, just stop me.” Mr. Adam said.

  “Wow, you literally look like Adam Levine’s twin.” Some girl said and as I observed him, he looked more and more like my idol. I couldn’t tell if he had tattoos or not because he was wearing a plaid button down long sleeve shirt and a scarf, but maybe he was Adam Levine…you never know.

  “Yeah, um, I get that a lot from people.” He said as he brushed off the topic and handed out course description sheets.  He did look awfully similar to Adam Levine, weird. I decided to brush it off as well.  We spent the rest of class playing name games and icebreakers. I got up to leave to go to my next class, when Mr. Adam turned and bumped into me, knocking my books to the ground.

  “Shit, my bad. Here, let me help you get that. Serena, right?” He said as he made eye contact with me. His eyes were familiar. His face was very familiar. His voice felt like a part of me.

  “Yeah, um thank you, Mr. Adam.” I said as I left the classroom.

  “Have a good rest of the day, Serena! I’m looking forward to this semester with you guys.” He said as I was walking away from the classroom.

  The rest of the school day was a blur. I met some new people, got invited to some parties, and went to my classes. Nothing special, except that music class. Was my teacher the Adam Levine? I had to find out…

  “Reens, how was your first day?” My mom asked as I walked into our new house.

  “Good.” I said as I walked upstairs into my room.

  “Just, good? Nothing happened?” My mom asked as she yelled from the kitchen.

  “Yup…I have a lot of work, so we can talk later, Mom.” I said to her.

  The rest of the night was spent pondering and thinking about this new, mysterious teacher and also about the fact that my favorite band was breaking up. Maroon 5 was my whole world and the fact that they were breaking up seemed like an impossible concept for me to grasp.