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meltwonu · 4 years

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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 7]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, fingering, daddy!kink, dirty talk, ‘cuz you can touch touch me~ 😏 ur gonna need to imagine headband/bandana wearing left&right cheol for this cuz that’s the fantasy i was imagining for this chapter the entire time i was writing it hehe 🍒 quick apologies to anyone who thinks this is moving a little slow 😩 I literally don’t know how to shut up and I end up writing too much LMAO and as always, thank you for the continued interest! Have a great weekend bbys! 💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - ?

dom.cheol has donated $400

therealchan99: yea this is about right on course

dom.cheol: what, did u miss me? 😏

gentleman_josh95: loosely

chwenon: more like the obscenely large donations were missing lolol

You jokingly roll your eyes, exhaling deeply as you push your toys off to the side of the bed. You’d just finished your Saturday show without a hitch, albeit feeling a little lonely. “Aww, c’mon you guys! Don’t tease~” Glancing around the room, it did feel a little odd to you now that Seungcheol wasn’t there but he had called earlier in the day and told you that it might’ve been better if he stayed back.

In truth, you understood exactly how he felt.

Part of you was ready to throw all caution out of the window when it came to Seungcheol and he felt it too. But at the same time, you knew it wouldn’t be that easy and that there were still things that the two of you needed to discuss before deep diving into intimacy, especially when it came to powerplay.

kitty_junjun: hey dont take this in a weird way but like

kitty_junjun: i feel like i saw u earlier today…

universe_WZ: ooo i never thought abt that before

sleepy_wonu has donated $75

xcaliburDK: have ppl recognized u irl before? :o

dom.cheol: i feel like i might’ve seen u irl before too…

Your cheeks bloom a hot pink; a nervous giggle on your lips. “Oh! I mean, yeah, there’s been a handful of times. I’ll wear wigs out sometimes though. Can’t have people calling me out in a grocery store, y’know?”

kitty_junjun: wait so maybe i did see u? I dont wanna give out locations tho…

“Maybe! I’m still out on my little weekend trip and I was out and about earlier~ if you see me next time, don’t hesitate to say hi! I promise I don’t bite~” You pause, leaning closer into the webcam as you wink.

“Unless you want me to~”

You start running a bath right after you end your show, stretching and turning on some music as you start to unwind. Thankfully you didn’t have a tiring show today, so you decided to take the rest of the night to pamper yourself in preparation for your day with Seungcheol.

Biting your lip, you pick up your phone, already seeing a multitude of messages from Seungcheol on your lockscreen.

cheollie ✨: don’t forget ur glass of water!

cheollie ✨: also don’t forget i’m picking you up at 9:30am

cheollie ✨: hope ur ready to spend all day at the roller rink with me baby

You can’t help but grin, already excited to see how Seungcheol spent his day at work. Typing a response, you quickly hit send before setting your phone down onto the nightstand and making your way to the bathroom.

‘I can’t wait! I’m so excited~ u promised me free skates and free food so don’t forget!!’

It’s exactly 9:29AM when Seungcheol messages you that he’s downstairs.

You check yourself in the mirror one last time, smoothing down your dress and hair and grabbing your bag before you rush down to meet Seungcheol.

There’s a mild feeling of nervousness that pours over you, but you quickly shake it off once you see his blue headed figure standing outside of the lobby.

“‘Cheollie!”

He turns around to face you just as you stop in your tracks; gasping when you see the cute way he’s styled his hair for today. “Whoa… wow, uh, j-just.. Wow. You look great in bandanas...”

Seungcheol laughs, eyes forming crescents. “I don’t usually work the weekends so I thought I’d spice it up a little. Guess it looks good?” You can only nod shakily, mentally cursing yourself when you feel the arousal already pooling inside your body. He winks at you once, opening the passenger’s side door as you slide into his car.

“Hope you’re ready to have a boring day at the roller rink with me.” He gives you a tight lipped smile, shutting your door before he rounds the car to get in on the driver’s side.

“I’m telling you, it’s not going to be… y’know, anything crazy.”

“Who says it has to be! I’m excited to see where you work and anyway you promised!” You tease, poking him in the arm as he starts the car. “I know, I know… I just---I don’t want you to be disappointed. I bet you thought I was some rich old hotshot before, huh?” Seungcheol shoots you a glance, smiling gently.

“Mmm.. not really.”

“No? You didn’t think I was some lonely CEO with loads of money with a thing for camgirls?”

You laugh at his response, placing your hand over his on the gear shift.

“Nah, if there’s anything I thought about you, it was that you were way too nice to be on some camming website.”

The two of you have idle conversation as Seungcheol takes his time to drive to the roller rink. In all honesty, he was a little nervous himself, although he’d never say it to your face.

“Oh my god, is that it?! It’s so cute!”

He parks close to the entrance, turning the car off as he jogs over to your side to help you out. “‘Cheol, you know you don’t have to be so sweet~” You pout, latching onto his arm as he locks the car.

“Oh but I do. You deserve to be spoiled once in a while!”

A blush coats your cheeks yet again, shy eyes fixated on the floor as he walks you towards the entrance. “Yeah, but all you ever do is spoil me… That sybian was no joke and my god, Seungcheol, the price! I almost had half a mind to return it…” You end in a mumble. Seungcheol laughs, opening the door for you as you unlatch from his arm and step in first.

“You’re worth spoiling. Now stop worrying, okay? I promise I’m not up to anything illegal in order to afford your gifts.” Giggling, you lean up to kiss him on the cheek, nodding firmly.

“Fiiiiine, I trust you, y’know?”

“I know, baby. I trust you too, now let’s go meet my best friend who’s going to play butler for you today.”

He leads you over to the concession stand where an equally tall yet bored male stands. “Hey, Jeongguk!” The said male looks up from his phone, eyebrow quirking when the two of you walk up. “Uh, hey Seungcheol-hyung…” Seungcheol feels a weird tenseness fall over the three of you, clearing his throat to get Jeongguk’s attention when he finds the younger male staring.

“Um, this is my friend. She’s---uh, she’s gonna be hanging out here for the rest of the day. I promised her that you’d give her free food, so uh, just--just let me know how much it is so I can tell Namjoon to take it out of my paycheck.” Jeongguk grins, a sly look in his eyes when he finally meets Seungcheol’s concerned eyes.

“Sure! Can I talk to you over there? It’s about our paychecks actually.” Jeongguk turns to you, leaning over the counter. “Sorry, employee only info, ch--uuuuuh, you know the deal.”

“Yeah, of course!”

Jeongguk points off to the side, gesturing to Seungcheol who follows suit.

The younger male makes sure they’re a safe distance away, watching as you pluck your phone out of your purse before he starts talking in harsh whispers. “What the fuck, dude!? You’re---no, you’re not fucking Cherry. She doesn’t have a boyfriend so what the fuck?”

The blood drains from Seungcheol’s face; the feeling in his fingers going numb as his throat goes dry. “Wuh--what? What are you---what are you talking about?” Jeongguk scoffs, eyes rolling jokingly.

“So, hyung, how do you know her?”

“You’re asking me?! How do you know her!?” Seungcheol’s eye twitches just as Jeongguk shoots him an incredulous look, arms crossed in mock annoyance. “I’m a horny boy, what can I say.”

“Please do not ever use those words to describe yourself again.”

The younger male stands in silence, nodding in thought.

“Fuck, wow, I should’ve noticed. All those extra shifts you were taking, the reason why you could never come hang… You don’t like working here as much as Yoongi-hyung but you--holy---holy shit, wait--you… you can’t be…”

Fuck, here it comes.

“You’re fucking ‘dom.cheol’ aren’t you? You’re the one always leaving her insane fuckin’ donations all the time… and the gifts.. Oh my god. The ‘cheol’ was from Seungcheol, I should’ve known...”

Seungcheol dies a million deaths inside his head; the ringing in his ears becoming unbearable while Jeongguk stares at him in mild disbelief. “It all clocks out, holy fuck. No wonder you were so fucking eager to pick up so many extra shifts…” Seungcheol’s mouth opens and closes a few times, unsure what to say.

“I mean, fuck hyung, I--I’m kind of impressed but wow. You think you know a guy, huh?” Jeongguk laughs, patting the older male on the shoulder. “She’s only one of the hottest camgirls out there right now. You’re a lucky man, hyung.”

A weird possessiveness washes over Seungcheol, hands gently balling up into fists at his side. “Okay, well, she… she’s just here to chill, alright? Don’t do anything weird. And most of all, don’t say anything weird either.” The younger male nods, already walking back to where you were standing.

“Hey, sorry, hyung’s paycheck is gonna be pretty sad next week and I had to let him down gently. Anyway, I’m Jeongguk. You are?”

You give him a fake name; shaking his hand over the counter as he grins at you.

“It’s my pleasure.”

You spend the first two hours on the floor skating; catching Seungcheol’s eyes on you from time to time as he sits nearby cleaning skates. The place seemed pretty empty, which was something that Seungcheol was immensely glad for.

Eventually you skate off out of the rink, making your way to Seungcheol who smiles at you when you come sit next to him. “Told you. Bored already, huh?” The two of you share a laugh, watching as the few other people continue to skate around the rink.

“I mean… it’s different! Right about now I’d usually be six episodes into a new series or something… It’s nice to be somewhere else and doing something different.”

He nods in return, slightly pouting when he turns to face you. “I hate that you have to go home tonight.” You mirror his sentiments, lips quirking into a sad smile.

“I know… I don’t wanna go home…”

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek, eyes flitting over to Jeongguk. “Hey, maybe we can bail a little early. This place is pretty dead anyway, and I--I can have Jeongguk clock me out when he leaves. My shift is supposed to end at 3PM and it’s noon now so… We can leave in a hour? Maybe get a late lunch?”

“Seungcheol… I don’t want you to get in trouble…” You mumble, brows furrowing in concern. “Really, it’s okay! We can just hang here ‘til then and still have time to get dinner!” He sighs, knowing you were right. Now was not the right time to be testing the waters with Jeongguk and Namjoon.

“Okay, okay, you win, baby.”

It takes 45 minutes.

45 minutes and a free drink from the concession stand before your mind starts wandering.

You watch Seungcheol converse with Jeongguk behind the concession stand; his cute laugh sending you into orbit when your eyes meet and you can’t stop the thrums of lust pouring over your body when a certain idea pops into your head.

Seungcheol turns his attention back to the younger male and you quickly start to unlace your skates and put your normal shoes back on before Seungcheol’s entire break gets taken up.

You walk up to the two; Seungcheol cleaning off his hands before he exits from behind the counter.

“Seungcheol…” You softly call out; a look of concern crossing his features when he stops in front of you. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, mmhmm! I just--I need to talk to you, if that’s okay?” Jeongguk already turns to leave, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You drag Seungcheol away, tugging him towards an even emptier part of the roller rink as the concern builds up inside of him. “I have an idea.” He feels himself gulp, already anticipating what you have to say.

“And…?”

“Well… It’s… It won’t t-take long I don’t think, just… hear me out?” You question gently, head tilting cutely up at Seungcheol who already knows he can’t say no to you. “Okay, shoot.”

“Wh--what if we… film a small POV v-video… like, not a live one! Just a small upload on my channel to test the waters maybe? I just---you don’t have to say anything and--and it’ll be quick, and--and like, nothing major just a little, um, f-fingering and--oh my god, sorry, I shouldn’t have a-asked, that’s just---I’m s-sorry I was thinking about it and it kinda got to me and I’m---I’m kinda already wet just thinking about it and--”

“No, let’s… let’s do it. To be fair, people seem to like risqué public things like that right?” A crimson blush falls on Seungcheol’s cheeks as he turns the tables, wrapping a hand around your wrist as he walks you to the employee restroom. “It’s… there shouldn’t be anyone in here so we should be safe.” He mutters, checking to make sure before he ushers you inside and locks the door behind him.

“I don’t know what to do so you’ll have to guide me a little here, baby.”

You nod, pulling your phone out and opening the camera app. Scrolling, you put it in video mode, clicking the red button before passing it to Seungcheol. “I’ve never done it either but I’m sure I can just… crop it and I m-mean it’s meant to be a little shoddy, right?” You giggle nervously, body already on fire when Seungcheol makes the camera face you. “You don’t have to say anything if you’re not comfortable with your voice being in the video, I just need… this.”

You reach for his free hand, playing with it as you run your fingertips across the veins. “I’m sorry, daddy… I just… I couldn’t help but think about your fingers inside my tight pussy...” Seungcheol almost loses his grip on your phone; palm clammy when he watches as you bring his hand underneath your short dress.

“Please… please, won’t daddy fuck me with his fingers? I promise I’ll be good for the rest of the day if he lets me cum on his fingers…” You whine.

Seungcheol isn’t ready to have his voice heard yet, so he nods, fingers twitching in your hold.

You take this as an okay to continue, dragging his hand up until his knuckles graze your panties. “O-oh, fuck…”

This time Seungcheol takes the lead; his own body ablaze when he can already feel your wetness soaking through your panties. He presses into it, digging his fingers into the wet material until it sticks to you like a second skin. “D-daddy, please, please, put them inside, I need it!!” You mewl, trying to keep your voice down as much as possible while still being audible enough on camera.

He shoots you a look; one that tells you to hike your dress up until your soaking panties are seen through the camera lens. And you easily follow, holding your dress up as Seungcheol drops to his knees, angling the camera upwards until only his fingers and your clothed pussy are in view. You spread your legs a little more, back resting on the wall behind you.

“Please, I can’t wait any longer…”

He gulps once, saying a prayer before he slowly pushes your panties to the side. And you all but lose any semblance of sanity the second he runs his fingertips through your wetness, pussy clenching around emptiness. “Fuck--fuck me, please!”

Once Seungcheol deems his fingers wet enough, his eyes meet yours, asking for silent consent before he makes any further moves. You nod frantically, fingers gripping the material of your dress tightly.

Seungcheol bites his lip the second he starts sinking his first finger into your tight warmth; already feeling the drool pooling in his mouth when you moan loudly. He starts a slow pace, mentally noting just how obscenely wet you are when he drags his finger out slowly. “Ngh, daddy m-more, please, I can take it, I wanna be f-full~” He gives it a few more thrusts of his index finger before he adds his middle finger; this time slowly sinking both digits into your pussy as you whimper above him.

His eyes flit up, mesmerized when he sees your face contort in bliss. “O-oh my god, I’m--I’m already so close… Daddy’s fingers are so much bigger and thicker than mine, it fuh--feels so good…” You mutter; squirming when Seungcheol doesn’t move.

And it takes him a second; too fixated on the way your tight walls only seem to suck his fingers in deeper.

But he starts a moderate pace, scissoring and curling his fingers inside of you until you’re reduced to whines and soft breathy moans.

He can already feel you getting tighter around his fingers after a few more minutes; doubling his pace when you start to beg.

“Oh my god, oh my god, ‘m so close, fuck! P-please touch my clit, daddy, please make m-me c--cum!”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his pants but he focuses on you, thumb immediately on your clit as he rubs harsh and quick circles on the swollen nub. He doesn’t know how much time has passed or if his break is over, but the look of absolute pleasure on your face is enough to make him not care.

He curls his fingers into your g-spot, holding them still as he continuously rubs your clit until you’re cumming; thighs shaking as you let out shaky breaths above him.

“Oh m-my god, daddy!” You mumble in a hurried frenzy, thighs clamping around his hand between your legs as the pleasure washes over you.

Seungcheol lets you ride out your high, gently wiggling his fingers inside of you as he starts to slow down.

“Mmh… Seungcheol…”

Oh fuck.

He definitely liked it when you moaned his name.

“Y-yes…?” It’s his cue to turn off the camera, shaky finger pressing the ‘stop’ button. He gently slides his fingers out of you, muttering an apology when you wince.

“You don’t have to say sorry! It’s just… ‘m sensitive…” You mewl, already missing the feeling of his fingers inside of you. “Y-yeah, of course! I, um, I hope that was okay? I’ll give you a second to get cleaned up, I’ll uh, run and get you some water.”

You nod in response, thanking him before he quickly washes off his hands and bolts out of the restroom; ears and cheeks redder than a tomato.

Once you’re alone, you quickly open your camera roll, clicking on the video as you hurriedly crop out the beginning and end, making sure that the short video didn’t have any incriminating details before you open up your camming homepage.

There’s a moment of unsureness that makes you pause. You bite the inside of your cheek, weighing the potential outcomes of posting this to your page.

But before you can change your mind, you quickly start the upload; adding a title and a short description before you lock your phone to let it process.

In the meantime, you get cleaned up, checking your appearance in the mirror once before picking up your phone again. Unlocking it, you find the upload has finished and you exhale sharply, publishing the video before locking the device again.

You move to exit the restroom, already finding Seungcheol holding a bottle of water on the other side.

“Oh, there you are! Everything okay?”

“Mmhmm! I uploaded the video before I could change my mind so I’m a little nervous…” You trail off, accepting the bottle that Seungcheol passes you.

“Well, the good news is, we’re bailing, now. I told ‘Guk to clock me out so we should get out of here so I can get your mind off of that.”

He shoots you a genuine smile, offering his hand which you take.

“Let’s fuckin’ get some ice cream, I think we deserve it.”

Seungcheol takes you on a scenic drive, taking you to an ice cream shop further away from town.

The two of you sit down in a booth towards the back of the shop and he helps clear your head, talking about various topics to keep your mind off of the huge risk you’d just taken.

“Anyway, that’s one of the reasons why I’m never bar-hopping with ‘Guk again. He’s got no limit, nobody can keep up and nobody wants to keep paying the uber fees.” You laugh as Seungcheol finishes his story, taking a sip of your milkshake.

You can’t help but sigh after a few seconds, pouting at Seungcheol who blinks questioningly at you. “‘Cheollie, I don’t wanna go home…” He stares back, unsure of what to say. A million different thoughts run through his mind in the split second before he opens his mouth.

“Why don’t you stay with me for a couple more days?”

Seungcheol doesn’t understand the gravity of his words until they spill out of his mouth; a panicked look on his face when you go completely silent in the seat across from him. “I m-mean, uh, I mean, like, fuck. I’m sorry, that must’ve been way too out of bounds. I just---it’s just, you don’t want to go home and---and I can take care of you while you’re here! Even if it’s just a couple days. I can help you film too!” He curses himself for rambling; immediately shutting himself up.

“I--I don’t want to bother you, ‘Cheol… That’s really too kind of you…” A shy blush coats your skin; chewing on your bottom lip when you shyly avoid his gaze. “A-and my filming stuff is back home too… I brought a few toys with me so I could film my weekend shows but--but my camera…”

“I can ask Jeongguk!”

You shoot him a bewildered look, brow quirking. “He--he streams sometimes too, like, video games ‘n shit. He actually offered me his extra equipment a while back, if I ever wanted to get into it myself. I can ask to borrow it, if you want?”

You drink in his words, unsure. The thought of staying with Cheol might’ve danced across your mind a handful of times, but now that the offer was on the table, you weren’t sure how to respond.

You trusted Seungcheol, and you knew by now that he would never do anything to hurt or betray you. But this was a far leap from how things were the last time you’d seen him.

“Listen, I can see the cogs in your head turning, baby. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m not forcing your hand into anything you don’t want. But I know you’ve been wanting to get out a ‘lil more and… well, in truth, I think it’d be nice for both of us? I can take care of you while you’re here with me and we can keep each other company.” He pauses, smiling at you from across the booth. “But I can also take you back to your hotel room and let you pack so you don’t get home too late.”

“‘Cheol I trust you.. It’s just that… I’m s-scared…”

“Scared? Of what, baby?”

The warmth blooms inside of you; shy eyes meeting his.

“Scared that I’m not gonna wanna go home…”

Seungcheol takes it easy for the rest of the day and doesn’t make an effort to get an answer out of you. He takes you around the city, tugging you into shops he thinks you’d like and walking around with you aimlessly until the sun goes down.

But time seems to go even faster once he takes you to dinner; a sigh on his lips when he knows he has to bring the topic back up.

“I hate to ask but… I have to take you back to your hotel after this so…” Seungcheol trails off, leaving it open-ended for you.

“I know… I just want to know… Why do you like me so much?”

The question takes Seungcheol by surprise; eyes wide as saucers. “I--I’m sorry I don’t follow?” You chuckle under your breath, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“It’s just… we were strangers, kind of, before Friday, you know what I mean? And now you’re offering your place to me to just… crash at for a few days? What if I rob you blind? Or what--what if you try something with me that I don’t like?” You suddenly start catastrophizing; mind going a mile a minute with potential outcomes.

“Hey, whoa, whoa, wait. Calm down, sweetheart. It’s okay! Breathe!” You let out a shaky exhale, groaning as you hide your face in your palms. “God, ‘Cheol, ‘m sorry, I--I really want to stay with you for a few days. It’s just that my brain is going light speed and I can’t keep up. I really like you too, you’ve been nothing but kind and sweet and you’re so handsome, it’s just so crazy to me...” Your words are slightly muffled but Seungcheol catches it, a soft chuckle on his lips when he leans his head on his palm.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa and leave you alone. You can take the bed. Hell, you can even rob me blind and I’d say thank you.”

He reaches his free hand over, fingers circling your wrist as he pulls your hand down. “And I’m offering you my place because I like you as you. You’re cute and funny, and so fuckin’ humble. And I want to get to know you better. In person, y’know?”

“Y-yeah… I wanna get to know you better too. And it’s only a couple days right?”

“Right.”

Seungcheol drives you back to your hotel, a smile on his face when he sees you in better spirits.

He parks his car in front, turning to face you. “So I’ll just wait here while you grab your things and check out, okay? I’ll contact ‘Guk to see if I can swing by and take that extra equipment he offered.”

This time you nod cheerily, body buzzing with excitement as you hurriedly step out of his car. “I’ll be quick!”

He gives it a moment before he picks his phone up, taking a deep breath before typing out a message to the younger male.

‘Hey, ‘Guk I have a favour. Get back to me asap if u can.’

Jeon 🥴 : bold of u to msg me…

Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features; fingers hovering over the keyboard. ‘What are you talking about?’

Jeongguk takes a second to send a screenshot, Seungcheol’s cheeks burning a crimson colour when he sees the content.

Jeon 🥴: it’s the employee restroom for me.

Jeon 🥴: bruh it’s also the fuckin way i knew it was u before i even played the video… fuck man is that why u too so long on ur break? u do kno u went over right, I clocked it cuz i was expecting u to come back sooner

Jeon 🥴: for the rec im not mad, actually im impressed just cant believe this is u

Seungcheol ignores Jeongguk’s messages, instead opening the screenshot again and re-reading the video title.

‘I was so needy… 🥺 so I asked daddy to finger me in public…’

Jeon 🥴: bitch i kno ur reading this im dropping the hyung bc u kept this from me!!

Jeon ��: after i even offered u my extra camming stuff u were already doing it behind my back…

Seungcheol rolls his eyes at the younger male’s dramatic nature, fingers quickly swiping across the keyboard.

‘Alright, I’m sorry okay? I just didn’t think my online habits needed to be public knowledge and for the record, that was the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. I promise no more secrets, unless absolutely necessary. And also speaking of that extra equipment, can I swing by and grab it from your place?’

Jeon 🥴: r u gonna cam now? u got one sip of the devils juice and now ur all in?

‘Would u stop being dramatic oh my god. It’s not for me, it’s for ‘cherry’. She’s going to be staying with me for a few days and I fully expect you to keep your mouth shut on this.’

Seungcheol grimaces when he calls you by your online handle; already feeling unfamiliar with it.

Jeon 🥴: o i c. sure, u can come pick it up, simp. I’ll make sure she’s got all the necessary things before u get here and u owe me one!! i fully expect u to come stream with me at least once for keeping ur secrets

‘It’s a deal. I’ll be there in an hour and a half.’

A sigh escapes Seungcheol’s lips, his eyes dancing over to your figure that skips towards the car. He locks his phone just as you tap on the glass, popping the trunk before he steps out.

“How’d it go? All checked out?”

“Mmhmm! Did you get in contact with Jeongguk? What’d he say?”

A nervous laugh spills from his lips as he puts your small luggage in the trunk, slamming it shut before rounding the car to open your door. “I’ll help you get settled in at my place and then I’ll drive over really quick and grab the stuff from his place.”

You hop in his car, fiddling with the seatbelt until Seungcheol slides into the driver’s seat.

“He didn’t ask what you needed it for?” Gulp. Shit.

“I just told him that I was thinking about streaming, for--for gaming stuff. He was okay with it.”

He’d tell you the truth. Soon, he promises.

No. Now.

Seungcheol sighs, hands on the wheel as he stares straight ahead. “No, no, I--I can’t sit here and lie to you. Jeongguk knows you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier, I told him to keep his mouth shut because I didn’t want him to bother you while we were at the roller rink.”

“I--oh…”

He can only nod; eyes dancing over to you as you play with the hem of your dress. “Yeah, I--I’m really sorry. He--He also found out I was ‘dom.cheol’ too and, fuck, I--I don’t know, I kind of panicked too. I hid that part of me from everyone I know so it was just… it was a lot.”

You meet his sad eyes, shooting him a small smile of your own. “It’s okay! It’s a little funny that happens right after that ‘kitty_junjun’ says he saw me in person too, huh? I mean, thanks for trying to protect me at least. It must’ve been weird for you too.”

“Yeah… If you’re not comfortable anymore, I… I’d understand too.” Seungcheol prepares himself for the worst, knowing that there was a chance that this was goodbye.

“Are you kidding! What’s one person gonna do? And you said he’s your best friend and you trust him… I’ll have to take a leap of faith on that one but… I trust you.”

You lean over the center console, kissing him on the cheek. “And anyway, as long as he’s not one of those weirdos asking for ‘favours’, I think we’re in the clear, right?”

Seungcheol grimaces; as long as it’s from me and not you, he thinks.

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

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mysticdragon3md3 · 4 years

Video

youtube

PS5 Showcase Event Livestream by IGN

4:38 PM 9/16/2020 Spider-man Miles Morales Oh shit. You know I love mid-air combat. Do I have to get a PS5 now? Damn it! I swore PS4 would be my last console. . I forgot about the PS5 livestream earlier today. I hadn't even really been keeping it in mind. But when I saw Professor Thorgi Tweeting praise for it...Now I'm excited.

...

10:38 PM 9/16/2020 You can seep in all the nostalgic Final Fantasy music you want, but I'm just not feeling this new Final Fantasy. When I think of Final Fantasy---what I PERSONALLY like about FF, it's that almost-steampunk mix of scifi and fantasy magic. I love that modern, urban fantasy mixed with ancient magics. That anachronistic amalgamation in the art style that can't really be placed anywhere.

But even this costume design is so distinctly historic European. With regular names like Joshua.

The gameplay looks nice tho.

I don't think I'm interested in FF16. Even if FF15 was disappointing, I loved Nomura's art style, the world design that is blatantly more than just "sword and sorcery" fantasy,... I don't think I'll get Final Fantasy XVI.

10:45 PM 9/16/2020 Or maybe it's just my depression talking. I've been unable to enjoy things all day. Getting excited about cool things has been out of the question today. ;_;

10:46 PM 9/16/2020 I stand corrected. This Miles Morales trailer is making me cry AGAIN, and I already watched it earlier today. You can do it, Miles! ;o;

10:48 PM 9/16/2020 Warner Bros? Y'mean that new Bat Family game? ...Oh no...Oh no.....Harry Potter. ~_~ All those poor game developers working so hard on something that puts a bad taste in our mouths now, at the mere mention of it. ~____~; ...Ughhhh... Just let it die. ;_;

10:57 PM 9/16/2020 Oh no! Is Chris Redfield possessed?!??? Ok, old lady... o_O! So are they saying the lady reading the story IS Mia? Ooh, stylized storytelling shadow puppets. *.*! Who is "Mother Miranda"? VILLAGE. SPOOKY. Is that THE MERCHANT?!? *O* lol

11:04 PM 9/16/2020 Yes! There it is! Devil May Cry 5 Special Edition! ;U; I passed up getting DMC5 last Black Friday, partially because I was hoping for soem kind of special edition...And here it fucking is! *o*! Sure, I've alreayd spoiled myself on the stoyr by now, but I want to play this game! I always have so much fun playing this game. ;U; Ohmyfreakinggawd!!!!!!!!!!! ;U;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...Yeah, I know I saw someone mention a new DMC5 earlier, but it still makes me so happy. ;U;

IGN's stream is still off sync between the audio and visual. Maybe I should switch to GameSpot's vid of the stream.

11:09 PM 9/16/2020 Is this...FNAF??????????????? OMG

11:11 PM 9/16/2020 Demon's Souls looks so high def and detailed, I didn't recognize it. lol

11:16 PM 9/16/2020 OH YES!!!!!!!! PERSONA 5 GETS JUST AS MUCH TIME IN THE MONTAGE!!!!!!!!! More than 1 or 2 frames, like last time! This time, SEveral seconds! And the title reappears during the rundown of logotypes! ^O^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:19 PM 9/16/2020 Oh, yes! God of War! Please go to Eagypt or some other panthenon! ...Oh, Ragnarok. Well. That'll be cool too, I'm sure. It'll have way more gods than last time.

11:17 PM 9/16/2020 Oh, PS5, you do look nice. But I promised myself that PS4 would be my last console. I just have to face facts now: I dont' actually play videogames much anymore. It used to be a big part of my life. An enormous part of my identity. And I didn't want to let it go. But I have to face the reality. My backlog didn't pile up worse than normal gamers' for no reason. I don't feel motivated enough to engage in such an active passtime anymore. I need passive entertainment now in my "old age". And look how overactive I already am, just reacting, making fan-art, and writing essays about all that passive entertainment I've been absorbed into instead. I guess I'm too old and tired for videogames. ;_; Well, playing them, anyway. I have enough fun watching let's players, and I waste enough time engaging with fan-art/fandom with just that already. If I added gameplay time, I probably wouldn't have time to eat/sleep. And I'm too old now to not sleep, regardless of how much I already stave it off.

11:23 PM 9/16/2020 PS5 November 12 release date. $500 with disk. $400 purely digital drive.

11:24 PM 9/16/2020 Ok. I don't care about IGN's reactions, when I know Professor Thorgi has a reaction vid on Twitch. I'm going there now.

#PS5 #livestream #playstation5 #videogames #trailers #reactions #announcements

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wickymicky · 5 years

Note

Kpop linguistics is literally the exact content I love to see around here as someone also finding herself at this weird interest intersection lol lowkey this kind of stuff is one of the reasons you're one of my favourite blogs around here

WOAH!!!!! aAAAAAA! thank you!!

im gonna put a Read More here bc it got too long and rambly

i cant help it lmao, i’m a linguist and i went to college for linguistics. that’s just how my brain works, it’s like an adhd hyperfocus special interest type thing, idrk what to call it, but i’ve been learning everything i can about language (in particular phonology and morphology) for like a decade. i dont talk about it much but i spend a huuuuuuge amount of time working on and thinking about my conlang (constructed language) that i’ve had since high school. it’s not very good, but it’s sort of a sandbox where i can fool around with linguistics stuff lol. i wanted to write a paper about the use of conlangs as tools for linguists to use for better understanding certain concepts that they have trouble with, but im not in college at the moment and idk if i will be again anytime soon... anyway yeah like this is my shit lol.

oh and like thats whats super cool about getting into kpop! its a whole lot of media in a language i didnt have much exposure to beforehand. i took latin in high school and ancient greek in college, and then i did like hungarian and vietnamese duolingo for a while lol, but there’s not a ton of easily accessible media in those languages, and certainly not much with subtitles, and definitely not anything for latin and ancient greek haha. like i wish there was something like anime for every language, just a huge wealth of shows in various animated styles in a language i dont speak, but with subtitles so i can recognize that when they say a certain word multiple times and i pick up on it, and every time they do the word “dream” is in the subtitles, i can piece together that that word probably means dream.

so like i have a suuuuper poor understanding of japanese grammar and shit, but i think fairly good pronunciation and a long list of vocab words ive picked up on because thats what my brain gravitates towards. like when i’d hear something i thought was interesting, i’d spend hours looking it up too. like how high vowels (“i” and “u”) often become voiceless between two voiceless consonants in japanese, which is why “sasuke” is pronounced seemingly like “saske”. but if it was an o instead of a u, it’d probably be sasoke not saske, cause its only the high vowels that drop out. also things like... why do certain words that start with a voiceless consonant become voiced in some compound words, but not others? “kana” becomes “gana” in hiragana, but stays “kana” in katakana. why? well, apparently that’s a thing and there’s a name for that. i forget it at the moment lmao, but i know that it happens. and so how come h- becomes b- in that situation? well it’s because it was originally p-, and then it weakened to a sort of f-like sound, and then further into h-, except for “pu” which stayed on the middle stage as “fu” even in modern japanese. all instances of “p” in modern japanese are either because the p was doubled (geminated), or they’re loanwords. so like yeah haha, it’s not that i “picked up japanese from watching anime”, it’s that watching anime and hearing certain things made me curious and i spent a lot of time looking into that. not learning the language tho lol... i like learning ABOUT the language, but im not very good at actually learning the language.

and thats what ive been doing with korean too! it’s not a language i had much experience with, so at first i couldnt make out any words at all in kpop songs. it was hard to tell where one word ended and where the next began. and that was only like two or three months ago lol... i’m still really new. i started noticing certain words that came up a lot. “piryohae”, “saranghae”, “bogosipeo”, “nareul”, “eolgul”, “joahae”, “jigeum”, “shigan”, “sungan”, “eopseo”, “bimil”, “maeum”, god the list goes on and on. it’s just vocab, but for the most part i learned to recognize those words before i knew what they meant lol, cause i dont look at lyrics much. so i’d look them up and go “ohhhhhhh yeah okay i can see why that word would be in those places in those songs” or whatever. and like, you know, learning more about hangeul teaches me more about the phonology of the language (which is my SHIT). and like i could try to write about how the unaspirated and aspirated initial consonants are often pronounced the same by the younger generation of speakers, but the unaspirated one adds something of a low tone to the following vowel, or i could try to write about how the double-consonants (jj, pp, tt, kk, ss) came often from initial sequences of sp- st- sk- etc, or how an ongoing sound change that you’ve probably noticed is that initial m- and n- are being pronounced closer to b- and d-, and how ae and e have completely merged, and how long vowels arent pronounced by younger speakers anymore, etc lol. i could write about how korean used to have a strong system of vowel harmony but centuries of sound change and loanwords from chinese that broke the vowel harmony rules have eroded it significantly, but it still plays a role in a handful of grammatical conjugations. i’ve been like cracking out, for lack of a better term, on learning about the history of the language and the inner workings of it, and ive spent some time attempting to learn the language too, though not that much lol. my brain is much better at collecting facts and having a deep understanding how Language works than it is at understanding how to speak a particular language lol. i cant really speak a word of arabic but i know all about triconsonantal roots and emphatic consonants and 3-vowel systems and differences between the various dialects of arabic lol

blah anyway lol

#Anonymous

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a-nonbinary-mess · 6 years

Note

I want you to do all the botanical asks because im a plant gay and i love you and i love plants

im crying op please tell me who you are please i love you too idk who you are but im love u too (also this is 31 questions anon omggg)

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with

1. art (anything aesthetically pleasing)

2. food–mainly desserts

3. stress (that i put on myself)

4. lavender bc i really love lavenders

5. uhh dogs? i really love dogs

bleeding heart: what makes your heart go mushy?

-thoughts of how much I adore my friends tbh

-any cliche romcom trope in a fanfic or seeing ppl suddenly realize how much they love another person, whether platonically or romantically

-seeing kind people in the world and amazing animals, mainly dogs and cats

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

-uhh idk i like disney channel original songs a lot tho and ive been listening to a lot of potential song by aly and aj lol

-love on the brain by rihanna, uhh anything that sounds cheesy and cute and romantic like la vie en rose by edith piaf (the cover by laura and anton is super good)

evening primrose: what is your sleeping playlist (five songs):

-anything by lofi hip hop beats w/ anime girls studying hard

-any studio ghibli song tbh

-any classical music song idk i dont listen to a lot of music before i sleep

-tango music ???

-a whole musical (hamilton, chicago, etc)

-songs that dont require me to sing bc i will sing to legit any song at 3 am instead of sleeping

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog that’s not following you?

-hmm idk? i mainly follow a lot of art blogs, so i would say any of them? maybe hinamie? or insomniac-arrest is a super cool person, thatsthat24 bc thomas sanders is an amazing human being and i would love to be friends with him

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

-lavenders or sunflowers? where i live is kind of really difficult to plant anything tbh (unpredictable weather, things die in the winter, etc) and also idk how to take care of plants r i p

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

-rainy evening for sure. i love to leave the window opening, listen to soothing music, drink tea surrounded by candles, and read something ive been putting off while my dog is curled up next to me

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

-i like the whole rainbow of colors but i prefer the darkest black and darker red for clothing and a light purple in general

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

-happiness. jk but i really do wish that i wasn’t mentally ill though :// also a cat. bc im allergic : (

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

-idk i dont sleep well or deep enough anymore to even dream but i remember having a dream 2 years ago that i was dating oikawa from haikyuu and he was so disconcerting in my dream that i remember it to this day bc essentially he wasnt a real person like i could recognize him bc he was a damn hologram like miku and we had sex the end it was wild

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

-favorite cotton candy flavor (???): there are multiple flavors???? i just like the original pink i guess idk anything about cotton candy

-ice cream: cookies n cream, cookie dough, vanilla, mint depending on where im getting it, and strawberry : )

-juice: does fruit punch count

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

-i love singing and i can legit never stop

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

-i love love love red eyeshadow. the brighter the red, the better. i also love red eyeliner and just anything red in general, but i usually mainly use red eyeshadow bc i love the look; anything red = good

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

-i love bees !!! butterflies are cool too but bees are cute fluffy babies that essentially control whether we live or die

-uhh probably dog person but only bc i have one :0 i love cats too but im less sneezy and generally stressed when im with dogs lol

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

-i really do like sweets but i used to eat so much as a kid that im kind of sick of them now but i still like to eat the occasional cookie or cake or something

-i really like donuts !!! also any asian dessert (eastern, southern, western, EVERYWHERE) is amazing to me and i love eating them

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

-merperson !!! i love the ocean and maybe we can finally figure out whats at the bottom of it ; ) sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

-babe mainly, hon

-hey, you fucker

-u dumb egg

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

-i can barely swim now uggghhh but i swam for five years and i knew all the strokes and was super good at freestyle (haru who) !! now i can barely do the freestyle and that’s it lolwindflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why i like them

-thebootydiaries: she’s funny !! anyone who i find funny i automatically like

-thatsthat24: thomas sanders is amazing. i love him and his friends so much and i think about being his friend a lot to the point where ill have dreams about suddenly being good friends with his whole posse aldjfal;fjl

-tatir0ckz: we used to talk a lot like back when we were both into hetalia but we never talk anymore ? which is fine ! but i remember a lot of our old convos and we skyped like once and idk 2012 was a simpler time

-adorable-as-fuck: i know her irl !! we went to the arcade like once and it was a ton of fun so we exchanged tumblrs and thats it and on the rare occasion that we’re both free, we might go to the arcade again !! idk its cool she’s super cool

-mhaikkun: her art style is so good and she doesnt upload as much on tumblr anymore but shes so cute and her clothing style and aesthetics is sooo good !! she’s a p cool person and her stories on twitter are always super wholesome aah

-this is more than five but ngl aphtextsfromnordics, incorrectknb and any other incorrect quotes blogs or text message blogs changed me as a person aldfj

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

-baker for sure ! baking just calms me down i think

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

-if i do have children, i want to tell them that i will never judge them for who they want to be. i hope they will be as open as possible and that i would never want to make them uncomfortable. i would encourage talking about problems and just communicating needs in general. idk, basically everything my biological parents didnt do

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

-tbh my parents are awful, awful parents (and one of them is just a purely disgustingly, horrid person) and i would never wish for them to tell me anything bc on the off chance that they did try to parent, it was to tell me how much of a burden i was, or something racist/homophobic, etc.

-if they were better people, i wish they would have told me it was okay to be struggling and its okay to be lost rn. i wish they would have encouraged open communication and kindness but well, i learned that all myself : )

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

-nope! i sometimes really wish i did, but relationships honestly stress me out and idk how to talk to irl people : ( i love platonic relationships a little more honestly, makes me feel more comfortable

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

-sunset for sure lol i think sunsets are so pretty bc of all the colors that are involved and during that time period is when im doing something i like and im typically at home : ))

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

-i wake up early now bc of school but i usually sleep late and wake up late haha

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

-roasted green tea and lavender! anything flowery is nice too : )

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

-i only have one dog (a pomeranian) and her name is marzia! which is short for marzipan bc my dad didnt want to remember such a long name lol

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

-ye! most of the time theyre just silly names like spiky (for when we had a cactus a long time ago) or red/pink (the colors of the roses), etc. idk about now bc i dont have any plants currently

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?

-hmm depends on the friend tbh

-but most of the time id rather sleep and be cozy !!!

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

-dipping !! i like ketchup or ketchup and mayo !! cheese fries are sooo good too

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

-i can bullshit a writing piece really bad and still get a good grade on it (seeing as most of the time i procrastinate until the night before and write the whole damn thing)

thanks for all of these questions anon !! if u can and ur comfortable, pls get off of anon sometime so we can talk !! im on tumblr a lot more now bc im procrastinating lol (and if my responses are late its bc im on mobile with no notifs on lol)

#ask meme #answers #plant asks #get to know me more i guess??#i havent dont these in such a long time and i didnt realize how fun it is !!!

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fenharelxenansal · 7 years

Text

ooc;;

so i went back into my discord history to dig up some meta i wrote a while back about briala. alice, nixe, mo, merc, and cay have all already read this, but i feel like a lot of it is really important to my characterization and i want it on my blog. maybe someday i’ll format it to read in a less disjointed, chat-style way, but for now -- have 1600+ words about briala’s backstory, i guess?

cw: lots of emotional abuse and gaslighting, lots of character death

im having a mood abt the tactics celene might have used to keep briala on her side when they were fighting and aaugh

bc i think a lot about the scene at the beginning of TME where bria is getting sexually harassed by a palace guard and the fact that nobody in that scene, briala included, acts like its anything particularly abnormal. that worries me

i mean. celene killed her damn parents. i dont think encouraging a guard to harass briala from time to time to make herself look like a saint in comparison is beyond her

and i have this mental image of briala being hurt in some way, nothing serious, a bruise here or there from someone other than celene, deliberately caused to send her running back to the empress who will make it all better

to give briala someone to hate instead of celene

to give celene the opportunity to 'make it up' to her

because i dont believe for a second that celene, grand player of the Game that she is, wouldn't stoop that low

she would do anything in her power to keep briala

because she is too dangerous, she knows too much

my headcanon is that when celene tried to send her away to live with the Dalish, it wasn't for her own protection

it was to keep her from ever realizing the truth of what happened the night her parents died, because it could destabilize celene's grip on power

and when Briala came back, well, she had to come up with another plan. and she cared for Briala enough that she didn't want to just kill her. so she made her into an intensely loyal asset

so i think any time Briala started to turn on her, started to want to leave her service even a little, she would do something to make herself look like the good guy again

the thing i always think about

Briala was supposed to be killed that night along with her parents

it wasn't 'all the servants except briala' it was 'all the servants'. the fact that she survived was pure luck, and the fact that celene didn't just have her killed after that point was because. well. Celene was a 16 year old lesbian about to ascend the throne of one of the most powerful countries in Thedas. One might imagine her a bit lonely.

im pretty sure she knew sending briala away was sending her to likely bandits or death by starvation

but she didn't have to feel so personally responsible for that

its easy to kill a palace full of servants whose names you dont know

theyre just numbers on a piece of parchment saying how many bodies you have to clean up

briala made herself real to celene and that makes her harder to kill

because she could have just killed her right then herself

but celene never had the stomach for killing people herself. she just gives the orders.

and so when faced with that situation, with her personal handmaiden traumatized, crying, covered in her parents' blood saying 'they're all dead', the smart thing to do would have been to kill her. but celene didn't do that. she just sent her away to near-certain death instead.

Briala is incredibly dangerous to Celene

especially post-TME, post realization of exactly how Celene orchestrated her rise to power

she is the only one who knows that Celene's claim on the throne is truly illegitimate, no matter how much Gaspard tries to argue it

not only did she have her own palace servants murdered

she had the emperor assassinated

which i think everyone misses?

she had him assassinated and then staged the murder of her palace servants to paint herself as an innocent victim who just happened to not be there that night

thats why all the palace servants were killed

so that suspicion would not fall on her for Florian's murder

the point was to make it look like the same assassins who went after her uncle were also going after her

when in reality she was the one calling the shots all along

i did briefly toy with writing a verse where Briala never met Felassan, where she made it to the Dalish safe at 14 years old and tried to become one of them

but the fact is that the moment he sent her back to Celene was a defining moment for her, something that fundamentally changed her, and she wouldn't have been anywhere near the same person without that

it told her, right there and right then, subtextually and insidiously, that the cause was the most important thing, more than her safety - because she knew it was dangerous being anywhere near the Empress-to-be, she wasn't stupid. she didn't even really know what the cause was at that point; he never told her what he got out of their meetings. so the cause to her became helping elves. and then that really quickly became warped to helping celene because she convinced her that it was the best way to serve the cause.

"what would have been different if she'd decided what she wanted to fight for on her own?"

she would have been a lot less.....not less dedicated, but less 'dedicated to the detriment of her own wellbeing'

if she had decided herself not to go to the Dalish, to stay by Celene's side to enact change, rather than just following the orders of other people, her story would be very different

concept: briala actually processing her trauma??? what???

bc you know the moment she got back to the palace with Celene after meeting Fel for the first time she threw herself headfirst into the Game

she focused all of her energy on intelligence-gathering and supporting Celene in her bid to become Empress

She never gave herself a single moment to grieve

and it isn't an uncommon story in Thedas, an elf watching someone or multiple someones they love cut down by humans

imagine if u will: briala, trying to have a funeral, not just for her parents, but for all of them

thats the thing i really feel the need to

idk

it wasn't just her parents

briala grew up in the palace. her parents were both palace servants.

she knew every single one of those servants. they were her friends and her family. and at the end of it she was left standing covered in blood in front of celene. celene was all she had left.

she didn't have any friends at the beginning of TME. she was friendly with the cook, but that was it.

celene took a generally happy, driven, and incredibly smart 14-year old elven girl and took away everyone she had ever known except herself. she made herself briala's world.

that's the real reason i hate that you can reunite them. its not that i don't believe they could be reunited - its that they can. because briala doesn't have anyone else. she has celene and felassan. that's it.

when you only have one person, its easy to make excuses for them and justify the things theyve done. its easy to believe them when they apologize and promise to do better.

thats why i want briala to have friends and lovers and people

i want to have a verse where she has grown so far beyond that point that she would laugh if Celene asked her to return to the palace

i want her to stop loving Celene but she isn't there yet

in my current writing, at least

she is still vulnerable to her in every verse where Celene is still alive

i just imagine her like

talking quietly about her childhood best friend among the servants

we don't get to see much of Briala's childhood

we get the moment of her mother telling her she mustn't try to hide her ears and that she must be proud of being an elf. that's really it.

but we do know that there were other children of servants who were considered for Celene's handmaiden aside Briala

i like to think she was friends with these other children. that she wasn't always lonely from the start

but of course that leads down the road of those friends being slaughtered as well so its a tradeoff

and then there's the question of whether when Celene kissed her when she was sending her away, if that was her first kiss, if she ever even had the chance to love someone else

i think a lot about how Briala spent 20 years learning how to love exactly 1 person the way she wanted to be loved

just imagining her trying to have a romantic relationship with someone else with that framework still in place is painful. it wouldn't work no matter how much she wanted it to because she'd be treating them like celene. she has no other model for how a relationship can work

she bypasses that somewhat with Lana, but its still there, thinking that the best thing to do is the thing that Keeps Lana Safe

she wouldn't recognize abuse if she got into another bad relationship

and she doesn't know how a relationship works where she isn't centering the other person's needs over her own

she gave up everything she ever wanted or aspired to for Celene

one time i got a prompt from a lyric starter list i made

'you can still be what you want to'

and briala just. broke for a moment.

'no. i can't. i never could - none of us ever could. thats why we fight.'

she doesn't have interests or hobbies or friends or a life

celene was her life and now she's filled that void with her cause

#meta;#about the muse;#this is a lot of words and i really need to go through and retype this in a way that is proper sentences and such #don't have the spoons for it today #emotional abuse cw #death cw

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mingi-bubu · 4 years

Text

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 8 Part 1

alright alright alright we are back with episode 8!!

i think this episode is going to be an eliminations one so thats gonna be so fun (:

i have my water, i have my m&ms, my phone is plugged in

OH WAIT IS THIS WHEN ONE OF THEM LEAVES DURING TRAINING???

F U C K THIS’LL HURT LADS

i s2g if that was mingze who was briefly shown leaving i will riot

chen tao is adorable fight me

why is youwei going to make me cry before the show even officially begins hhhh

yao chi’s writing is literally incomprehensible to me even without me being illiterate in chinese

oh so theyre just going to throw in mr. tyger like that as if im going to be emotionally okay

oh fuck dont show me the hot pot moments

alkdsjfsld huaiwei and guan yue are so cute together

i am literally tearing up right now i hate this so much

yixing stunting on them hoes

YIXING LLIASLKDFJASDKJFPAWOIE BITCH IM SCREAMING

HE JUST SAID THAT THEY ALL REMIND HIM OF KINDERGARTNERS BECAUSE THEYRE ALL IN WHITE LORD I AM BEING S E N T

ok i mightve misunderstood what he said or it was mistranslated???

i must hit that mf rewind button

ok so the subs say “each of you is basically younger five to ten years old” ???

im trying to think about how that would work in english hold on

god it would be helpful if i recognized anything lkasdfjlskd

maybe something like “it makes me think of you all as five to ten years younger”?

someone who knows chinese please help

shenshen looks really good and so does huaiwei *heart emojis*

ok something is deffo off with the translator machine they use

bc jiayi said he wouldnt be born yet

and hes a 98 liner

god i wish tiana was watching unine’s run so i could ask kajdfklasdj

his hair is RED?????

SIR

yixing is having fun tho

he has the joy of a mischief maker in his eyes

dork

tfw you make fun of the trainees and they start talking amongst themselves about how old they would be and you hear someone shout he wouldnt even be born yet

i have literally no idea why the camera quality looks like it was taken with a videocorder rather than an actual filming camera but it certainly is interesting

guan yue for the first time for me

*john mulaney could be a nursery voice* looks kinda sorta hot

MINGMING IS CUUUUTEEEEE

HIS LIL UNEVEN SMILE IM IN LOVE *buries my head in my hoodie*

mommmm immm innnn llloooovvvvvveeee

linmo dark hair again *eyes emoji*

omg six of my boyyysss

hanhan what the fck is that headband im screamign

akdsjflkas why was chen sijian clapping like that afkasjd

ok: fourth task time

theme evaluation

literally guan yue popped off and all hes doing is sitting there wearing white

ugh

MINGMING RED HIGHLIGHTS OH MY GOD UGH THE STYLISTS’ MINDS

@ YMM PLEASE BRING THIS BACK

i hate that whenever yixing does something he smiles like this: :3c

kjfadsf;lkasd hanhan says something quietly to yangyang and IMMEDIATELY yixing says his name adkjfslkd

i love to see it

aldkfjasd called him out im deceased

HUAIWEI BEST BOY AKDSJFSLKAD

“A COLD AND COOL MAN” I SAID BITCH WHERE

HUAIWEI’S LAUGH

I AM FORCIBLY REMINDED THAT THEY ARE ROOMMATES ALDFALSKDJFKEW

YOUWEI DRAGGING HIMMMMM

ME *HANDSHAKE EMOJI* YOUWEI

ASKING WENHAN IF HE KNOWS WHAT A “COLD AND COOL MAN” IS

wenhan: *glares for 0.003 seconds*

also wenhan: *ears and face red and immediately cracks into a smile*

yixing is having too much fun with this akldfk

shiyuan hello :D

anyway back to business

five different songs in five different styles

mingze red highlights too...? *eyes emoji*

yixing was expecting more of a reaction probably and the boys just sit there like “hmmm interesting,,,five songs”

MINGZE KDJSFALKDSJFALKSDJ HIS REACTION IS SO OVERRR IM

someone said “too many” fuudsfoijajdsoiffuck man

yixing cutiepie!~

im seeing more exo lay than zhang yixing pd right now

*flashes back to the crabs*

definitely more exo lay than yixing pd right now

JALKDSJF HUAIWEI “WAOOOH!”

akdjfkdsl he’s telling hanyu to change his respoin

hold on hanyu dimples??? what the fFICK

SHENSHEN SMILEY BOYYYY IM NOT CRYING

not to be all i love lian huaiwei and his nose and 3/4 profile is so cute but i love lian huaiwei and his nose and 3/4 profile is so cute

MINMGING CROOKED SMILE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

i love how hanyu is showing his surprise and shock by simply yeeting his head up and trying to stretch out his neck adkfjlsdk

wenxuan said HELL YEAH BABY

god lhw is so pretty i would give him all the stars if i could

awww guan yue is so embarrassed at huaiwei saying he’s perfect for <maze>

ok but literally guan yue wakes up and looks like that everyday???? jealous

shi zhan: oh so im not cute then?

shi mingze: no youre naughty and the theme doesnt fit you

shi zhan: >:’(

awww guan yue is so cuteeee

hes like i pretty please want this song >:3c

shenshen deadass said that this other song that was being shown is an “improved version of <retreat>”

jiayi *pleading emoji*

HELL YEAH FUCK GUYS ITS THE REBUILD STAGE IM SCREAMING

MINGMING LOOKED SO GOOD IN THIS STAGE I TALK ABOIUT IT ALL THE TIME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MINGZE’S FACE AT SEEING REBIUOLDAJFDLKAJDSFJ

SORRY IM JSUT SO EXCITED ITS LIKE IN MY TOP 5 STAGES AKSDLFJLSKD

MR LI WENHAN I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY

MINGMING IS DEFFO HERE FOR HIS MOMENT IN THIS SONG AND I KNOW IT UGHH

MR YAO MINGMING PUT THAT TONGUE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

also while i was watching this yixing’s mv for <莲 lit> came out and it was a fucking cinematic experience go watch it now if you havent yet please

YAO CHI !!! APPEARED!!!

and wang jiayi in bucket hat T.T

jiayi has orangey hair

they really arent going to translate wjy’s name in to english huh

gonna keep it as the characters eh?

i really hope that huaiwei and guan yue can share a stage together

damn yixing really do be pausing dont he

ahhhh the youth pd have decided for them much like with the girls

why does hu wenxuan literally have the best facial expressions ever

alkdfjalks yixing sweetie you didnt have to drag the poor trainee when introducing him

not to be all hanhan’s lil rabbit teef but hanhan’s lil rabbit teef

alksdjfalskdjfaklsdjf hes so prettyyy

he opened the envelope the wrong way around im

everyone is laughing

why am i always fucking sucked into weiwei’s eyes

hes so dumb i love him adklfjaslkdj

yangyang,,,,sweetie,,,wh...why did you need to run

asdfkaksdjflk;asdjfkasd

im so dead at hanhan’s face when yangyang knocks on the door

i deadass forgot that yangyang is in the rebuild stage

damn hanhan is really hoping for his tarzan lineup again

XIXI!!! I LOVE HIM IN THIS STAGE OH M Y GOD IVE HAD MANY THOTS ABOUT HIS OUTFIT AND HIS STAGE PRESENCE

chen tao, jiayi, and weiwei are all in the same stage i love

xixi literally dropped hanhan to the ground like a bag of rocks goddamn

the rituals are intimate i know they’re intimate

why do they put xixi in foundation thats like several shades lighter than what he actually is

wenhan: this is the first time for me and jiayi to be in different stages :’(

changxi: *thinking back to their very first public stage when he asked him not to separate him and jiayi* hmmm unfortunate

xixi also has good faces adlkfjals

MINGMING <33333

WANG ZHE I

longhanniieeeee

oh so yixing really is going there back to the beginning eh??

longhan: o.o’

i love that he looks over to the directors and cameramen like “plz help me”

adjklfajsdlkfj longhan is literally just saying anything that will get him out of the situation as fast as possible

he keeps bowing im innnn loovvvveee

he apologized at the end im *smooches him on the cheek*

i dont need a man with braincells he just needs to be pretty

*slurps*

i love huaiwei lil squeaky laugh

HUAIWEI IS WITH JIAYI AND WEIWEI AND WENXUANNIE??? I AM ASCENDING

shenshen!!

he’s such a trickster i love him so much

boyfriends~

aww him and mingming sharing gum

WHAT

WHY WAS THAT SIJIAN’S FIRST GO TO POSE IM SCREAMING

xu longhan is noodle boy im deeply in love with my little dragon

shi zhan’s glasses make him look like a grandmother i

weiwei is having too much fun with this

AAAHHHHH HE REALLY DO BE SAYING THINGS WHEN HE DOESNT HTINK ANYONE IS THER

CHEN YOUWEI KING OF FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

HAHADKJFLASKDJ;A

i know ive said it before but i love that the commercials are in chinese like its really fun bc they used to be in english

seeing huaiwei try to act tough as if he is not baby

alksdfjalskd everyone is bullying him esp weiwei

wenxuan is just sitting back, enjoying the show

xu longhan has the only braincell in that room

aksdfjlaksd they really are going to have that funny pose

i take it back there are no braincells

longhan is bullying them akdlfjasdlkj

yao chiiii

he run :D

PINK SHIRTS

top 35 get to stay this round and the others leave halfway through training

hmm i hate to see it

i really want to give yao chi a hug hes really stressing about this one :(

HE HAS AN ELMO STICKER IM T.T

yao chi really do be practicing a lot

they played like a clip from my fsoat (favorite stage of all time) and i still got shivers hanyu really do have that power

junjie reminds me of sb19 sejun

why does minghao look like a construction worker

oh wang jiayi is here too!

hanyu was v nervous :(((

rebiulda dflkasjdfiwe

mingze is so pretty

mingming complaining about other members??? who arent listening to him about choreography?? ugh i love to see it when he looks upset

damn if looks could kill bo yuan and shenshen wouldve been dead on the floor instantly

tongue

:((( invisible mingming sweetieee

adkjfa;lsdkaaaaahhhhhhhhh kou cong really is confused he really didnt hear it

mingze is That Best Friend i LOVE to see it

boyfriends~

god i really hate how obvious the product sponsorship is like it pulls me out of the moment hhhh

c’est la vie

adfjalskdjf yangyang’s laugh is sending meeee

GUI ZE

aksdlfjals;dkjf xixi jsut got his revenge for the fire stage

“angel han”??? this is the first time im seeing him be called that wtf

oh my god i keep pausing to talk about yixings new mv and we’re only 33 minutes in hhhhhhhh

YAAAAASSS MC JIN AND AFTER JOURNY MY FAVORITE DUO

longhannie!!!

im love his smileee

SHAO HAOFAN OOOHHHHH

oops ye ziming in fake glasses makes me UwU

like he looks like a professor but like a hot one you know?? like the history prof that everyone wants to take a class with not bc its interesting but bc he rolls his sleeves up and wears dark slacks

that was highly specific do not look at me

wasn’t he in the last alliance thing that was formed??? mans needs to chill

arm

i am looking respectfully mr ye

li you looks like he gives good hugs like he just gives off that vibe

i say as he talks about how three of the higher ranking group members can’t dance for shit

i only really care for 2, maybe 3/4 of the dachang out man alliance

shf reminds me of a puppy

arms

jiayi’s hair looks SO GOOD

HUAIWEI BALCK AHARI I

NEED AMINUTE IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE HE’S HAD IT

i-a smooch him on the-a face

LKFJASLKDFJASDK

THEY’RE MEME-ING

someone on the editing team had vine i swear to god

wenxuan’s hair literally looks like he stepped out of 2008

no thoughts head empty

sure do wonder what the colorful script on the other 2/5 of the screen are saying (:

damn my man is on every little detail o.o’

love to see it ;)

youwei literally losing his shit i

huaiwei freckles???

jiayi really just goes around looking like that daily and we all unanimously decided that no other man exists didnt we

wenxuan looks really good even with the bucket hat on

WEIWEI NEW HARI

also its very sweet that lrh treated them to food

ofc the remaining mr. tyger group members would stand next to each other T.T

jolin is so pretty

why does minghao give off scuh fuckboy energy right now

awww guan yue!!!

he’s so cuteee

minghao is not good at hiding his amusement

awww their ending poses are adorable

i just wanna pinch all of their cheeks

alkfdjasldkjf jolin correcting minghao i love to see it

i like that jolin wants to talk with them about the pressure they’re feeling given the whole leaving mid-training thing

hmm perhaps i will cry during this part

the urge to give all of these boys a hug is stronger than ever

wow their talk really brought the vibe down fast

yao bolan is pretty tho even when talking about something this sad

oh???? we really are just gonna leap into the rankings right now??bitch they thought

its midnight thirty and im tired so im going to end it here before the rankings

i will pick up tomorrow with the rest of the episode!

thank you for reading!!!!

stay safe and stay healthy <3333

#unine's run #youth with you #ywy #cpop #idol producer #e8 p1 #jae.txt #jae.wwm

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noecat · 7 years

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but i dont mind (6661 words) by firepixel Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Mature Relationships: Jean-Jacques Leroy/Otabek Altin Tags: #JJBek week 2017 #5 plus 1 without the plus 1 type of fic #unless someone convinces me to write the plus one as 'first time they fuck' #Firsts #why does ao3 recommended tags not ship jjbek jus wondering #first meeting/dance/date/kiss/confession, in that order #Fluff Summary:

jjbek week day 1, prompt: firsts

jj looks good in neon, otabek pines, gross romantic dates happen and they fall in love sometime in between

dedicated to lia @otasucc who dragged me into this hell in the first place. thank u, i guess. i suppose. maybe. thing is under cut for those who hate ao3:

chapter 1: first meeting

Otabek first meets JJ in the bathroom of a gas station.

He’s washing his hands, looking up at his own reflection in the stained mirror, when he sees the door open as someone comes in.

Stumbles in, perhaps, is more appropriate, because the stranger seems to be drunk as fuck. Otabek snorts in sympathy before he can hold in the sound. The stranger looks up at that and grins. Their eyes catch in the mirror — holding for a long moment — before Otabek redirects his attention to the way he’s scrubbing under his own fingernails. Can never trust gas station bathrooms, after all. Once he’s satisfied with the general cleanliness of his hands he smoothes them down his face and lets the tap run out by itself. He turns to leave once it does.

‘Hey,’ the stranger calls at him from the urinal, and Otabek turns around.

He’s treated to the sight of the stranger zipping up his pants and blinking at him rapidly. Otabek raises his eyebrows.

‘What’s your name?’ The stranger inquires.

The entire encounter feels like it should be strange, but somehow it isn’t, and Otabek is responding before he can think twice about it. ‘Otabek.’

‘Oh. Otabek. Nice name,’ the stranger remarks. He tips his head. ‘You’re very attractive, you know that?’

The compliment is delivered simply, like a fact, and is sudden enough to throw Otabek off. Clearing his throat, he tries to come up with an appropriate response. ‘Thank you,’ he settles on, ‘you too.’ The last part is a reflex, the typical way Otabek responds to compliments, but the longer the stares at the stranger the more true it feels.

The stranger grins. ‘I’m JJ,’ he volunteers, and Otabek nods.

‘JJ,’ he repeats.

The silence stretches for a few beats after that. Otabek is staring, stoic, and JJ is grinning in a way that somehow makes Otabek feel like they’re already close. Even when they’re clearly not. That fact must shine through, because the not-so-much-of-a-stranger nods back at him and shuffles around a bit.

Then he makes his way back to the door, and Otabek catches it to hold it open as JJ moves past him into the dark-and-quiet night. He didn’t come alone, apparently — unlike Otabek — because there is a car on the curb and a door opens as JJ moves towards it. Otabek hears ‘bro, hurry up, we’re going to be late—’ as he walks to his own motorcycle.

‘See you around,’ JJ calls as he waves and is pulled backwards into the car. Otabek hears the door shut on the excited voices and music. It peels off into the night, and the surroundings are suddenly quiet and dark again. Quiet enough that Otabek hears the breath he lets out before he puts on his helmet. Quiet enough that the roar of his engine spills out into the night and reverberates in his bones when he straddles his motorcycle. The roar swallows up his thoughts, eventually, as the darkness blurs around him and lights flicker past in long neon smears on the edge of his vision.

He does see JJ around a lot after that.

It’s funny how they never met before, given the overlap between places JJ is at on weekend nights and places Otabek is at on weekend nights, but once they have it seems like JJ is everywhere. He’s like the moon, really — once he’s been pointed out to Otabek he sees him anytime he looks up.

He finds out that everyone who’s anyone in the scene knows JJ. It’s a lot less weird then. It’s a lot less weird that JJ recognizes him, pulls him in close with an arm around his shoulders, introduces him to his friends. They don’t even get many chances to talk one-on-one (it seems like no one gets a chance to talk to JJ one-on-one, Otabek’s convinced that the one time he got to meet him alone was some kind of glitch in the universe — statistical outlier — because JJ is never ever not surrounded by people), but somehow Otabek becomes JJ’s ‘bro’.

He’s pulled into orbit, somehow, and settles into it with a surprising lack of resistance. JJ’s friends recognize him; he recognizes JJ’s friends. The way he turns up at the same clubs as JJ is treated with the same lack of surprise as the sun setting each night.

It’s some kind of bros-at-first-sight thing, it seems, that day they’ve bumped into each other at the gas station. Otabek can’t say he minds.

chapter 2: first dance

note:this is where the M rating comes in: there is nothing explicit, but towards the end they get touchy while dancing.

In all those times they’ve met since then, Otabek has learned quite a few things about JJ. For one: he doesn’t smoke, unlike Otabek. He drinks a lot, also unlike Otabek. He has some kind of weird greeting, where he forms his own initials with his hands and smirks at the recipient — ‘it’s JJ style!’ — and then laughs, easy and warm and bright.

JJ, he learns, burns with the kind of light Otabek tries to catch between his fingertips anytime he flicks his lighter on. He never manages to. For some reason, he keeps trying again every night.

It’s not the easiest task; where Otabek at best feels like the pale glow at the tip of the stick between his fingers, JJ is more of an actual star. The light just spills out, uncontainable, winking across the dimly lit spaces with their blue-tinged smoke and neon cutting through in beams. Otabek can’t even imagine what else he would look like — what else, if not strobe lights flashing off his cheebones and pale skin drinking in neon to reflect it back in an undimmable, steady glow? — so he doesn’t waste his time imagining.

So many words, just to say that JJ’s personality is naturally magnetic.

Otabek, half helpless moth, half sensible goth, is attracted to him with every piece of metal in his body and then more besides. There’s iron in his blood — maybe that explains the way his skin buzzes when JJ brushes too close on his way to the bar, the way it sings at the press of leather-clad muscle against his back when JJ leans against him momentarily to steady himself.

In a way, this reminds him of something he used to do back when he studied all through the night and zoned out sometime ages past his bedtime to stare at the lightbulb hanging a foot from his face. He’d lift his hand, inching his fingertips closer and closer to the glass, heat intensifying until he came in contact with smooth-hot-burning. The light would glow through the red-tinged tips of his fingers, and he’d see how long he could hold them there, how close, before he inevitably got burned and had to blink the light out of his eyes to refocus on the paper.

Touching JJ for the first time feels a lot like that.

The place is so packed it feels a lot like he’s touching everyone at once — insistent hands as much part of the ambience as the pounding music and the pulsing dim lights. There’s a hand on his hip; another brushes itself against the line of his shoulders as someone presumably grasps him for balance, and there’s another set of hands resting on his waist trying to edge up past his leather jacket. He doesn’t know who he’s dancing with. He doesn’t particularly care.

He finds it hard to care about anything when the only force acting on him is the centripetal pull JJwards. Center-seeking, indeed, somehow never getting any closer – and yet, and yet, Otabek has been orbiting JJ for the third hour and he can’t seem to stop. He’s the unfortunate Earth to JJ’s sun; just close enough, just far enough, and even when he’s turned around he can feel the heat on his back.

It takes a single push to send his trajectory crashing gracelessly with JJ’s.

‘Where’s my bro,’ JJ loudly questions no one in particular with a waggle of eyebrows that suggests that he knows exactly what he sounds like (not much like himself) and unapologetically sounds like it anyway. The teasing lilt to his voice is not gravity that Otabek can avoid. The momentum draws him, inevitably, forwards.

Or maybe it’s all the hands; it doesn’t take long before the crowd responds in its own way, like some kind of strange hivemind extension of JJ’s will. Hands gently prod him and tug at his sleeves and voices raise themselves a little to carry over the music to inform JJ that ‘there he is, coming over here’, and Otabek has very little choice as to whether he’s going to be here coming over there.

He goes willingly, leather jacket and all.

He’s deposited in front of a grinning JJ like a particularly brooding log washed up on a shore. JJ unglues himself from two girls, unwinding their arms from his torso and wiping lipstick off his neck. His eyes are alight — brighter, even, when they settle on Otabek.

‘Let’s dance,’ JJ says, offhand, and drags Otabek back into the crowd.

The crowd obligingly swallows them both.

And this time, it’s JJ’s hands on him; hot-dry on Otabek’s side through his t-shirt, just above his hipbone, and curled around his shoulder inching up to his neck. JJ presses in close, swaying, all-consuming, eyes almost closed behind fluttering eyelashes. Otabek doesn’t recall when he last took a breath.

The hand on his hip shifts, upwards, and then JJ’s thumb is swiping across his skin like a brand. Otabek is struck with the need to do something, anything, so he settles a hand hesitantly on JJ’s side and brings the other one to JJ’s upper back. It seems to be the right thing to do, because JJ hums and sways in even closer, hot breath on the collarbone opposite the one his palm is covering. Otabek masks a shiver with the motion of turning them both around.

When Otabek’s next step brings his leg between JJ’s, there is a catch in the breath fanning over his neck. JJ thumps his forehead down against Otabek’s shoulder, breath coming harsher, and something in Otabek feels like he’s rapidly approaching terminal velocity in this freefall. His fingers dig into JJ’s leather-covered back on reflex; the hand he has on JJ’s side sneaks its way further back, and lower, until it brushes over denim. He spreads his fingers, palm pushing down as his thigh bears up.

JJ makes some kind of sound at that, swallowed up by the noise around them. Otabek wonders if this is what meteors feel like, moments before they burn up entirely. -- ‘You’re very attractive, you know that?’ -- he remembers. With JJ in front of him hanging on for dear life the compliment seems soberingly real.

The music builds up, anticipation climbing higher and higher, and somehow JJ’s fingers are wound loosely in Otabek’s hair and the hand previously on his hip is roaming under his shirt. Otabek is dimly aware that they’re both sweating. The proximity is hot, and the air between them is a sticky kind of humid that plasters Otabek’s shirt to his chest, makes his hair stick to his forehead, makes the slide of JJ’s fingers over his abs slicker.

When the beat drops, the crowd goes wild.

chapter 3: first date

warnings: jj is a Tease, and also mentions his dick but like. very offhand with no details ??

Sometime between all the times he’s met JJ in person, he’s managed to get his number.

At first, it was a joking thing; a parody of everyone who’s ever hit on JJ, with Otabek batting his eyelashes in exaggeration and sidling up close to JJ at the bar. ‘Let me buy you a drink,’ he said, and JJ’s lips curved up in amusement that meant he was playing along.

Somehow, somehow, it didn’t feel so much like a game to Otabek.

He still bought the drink. Again, and again, having learned that JJ would drink anything alcoholic someone pushed at him.

‘What’s your name?’ he asked, and JJ’s smile slipped into something a little more knowing, something that said is this what we’re doing, then?

Then JJ, king of one-upping, leaned close. ‘Why, need something to chant tonight?’

Hot lights, the sudden drop in the music, the crowd around them — so many reasons why Otabek’s cheeks could be flushed. He hopes it’s dark enough that JJ doesn’t see, and knows that JJ’s eyesight is attuned enough to darkness to see anyway.

Otabek refuses to be embarrassed in a game he started himself, so he looks at JJ dead-on. ‘What if I do?’

JJ leans back out of his space and looks at him for a moment, consideringly, before replying. ‘Get me another drink, and I might.’

As if Otabek wasn’t going to get him another drink anyway. He huffs, but does as told, flicking up two fingers and nodding when two glasses are pushed his way.

JJ doesn’t touch his, but he does touch Otabek. The hand is gentle on his shoulder, teasingly so, and JJ’s lips are dangerously close to his ear, close enough that Otabek has to focus hard to make sense of what JJ is saying.

‘Call me Jean,’ he breathes, ‘Jean-Jacques Leroy.’

Otabek can only stare, dumbfounded, as JJ scribbles something on a napkin and pushes it at him before picking up his own glass and vanishing off into the crowd. For a moment, his only thought is so that’s what JJ stands for, and then he’s captivated by the sway of JJ’s hips as he smoothly makes his way across dancing people, and then all he can think of is how utterly fucked he is.

He gets out his phone anyway — Otabek could never resist making his own life more difficult — and copies the digits off the napkin, before sending a text. It’s appropriately simple. ‘want to go somewhere,’ is all he types, no punctuation and no inflection. It’s read immediately.

He can’t see JJ anymore but spares a moment to imagine him fishing out his phone from the pocket of his too-tight jeans. It’s a good mental image. Otabek blinks to refocus on the screen when it starts to swim before his eyes.

> wherw

> **where

> are u going to take me out?;) x

It’s all Otabek can think of to say. JJ’s reply is instantaneous.

> my my so foreward!!

> **forward lol

> i accept;)

Then, slightly left-field:

> i dont put out on the first date tho

For some reason, it makes Otabek smile into the rim of his drink.

He takes another sip as JJ replies.

> ok

> looking forward to it!!

> :)

Otabek hesitates a moment, then, before he powers on.

The reply he gets to that is impossibly faster, texts flickering across his screen in a barrage of grey.

> wow thaats so wierd

> people usually only call me that when were fucking lol

> **weird

> otabek

> just call me jj lmao

> wait

> do u want us to be fucking

> otbaek,

> **otabek

Otabek lowkey chokes on his drink and spends the next few seconds coughing.

The next time he gets a reply is when he’s already home, about to get into bed. It’s timestamped 4:03am.

> goodnight :) x

It’s enough to make him smile into his pillow. Tomorrow can’t come fast enough.

He still doesn’t know what it is that JJ — Jean — does for a living, but apparently it makes him unavailable until the late hours of evening.

For this reason, their ‘date’ is planned for late hours of evening.

‘how do you want to do this?’ he had texted, and got a much more sober reply from JJ around noon. ‘take me somewhere good’, he’d said, ‘i get off work at 9 today’. In the end, it wasn’t that much difficult to schedule a time and a place for them to meet.

What was difficult, however, was breathing for Otabek when he finally pulled up to the curb near the spot they’ve agreed on and pulled off his helmet to finally look at JJ.

He looked, for lack of a better phrase, fucking amazing.

Not to say JJ didn’t always look amazing; the floppy undercut and sharp jaw and bright eyes looked great in any lighting, but there was something a little extra to the way he looked under the streetlight on the corner as he leaned against the brick wall of the restaurant. Perhaps, it was the white button up — JJ looked ridiculously good in formal — or maybe the jeans hugging his hips, or even the soft smirk on his face.

In comparison Otabek feels almost inadequate in his usual white t-shirt and leather jacket combo. It seems to be enough for JJ, though, because he pauses to look him up and down twice, before greeting him with a soft smile. ‘You look good.’

‘So do you,’ Otabek responds, equally soft, and watches JJ push off the wall to come to a stop in front of Otabek. JJ raises a hand, smoothes it down Otabek’s front to unzip the jacket that he’d kept zipped up for the ride. Otabek catches his wrist.

‘Let’s go?’ he asks.

‘Yeah,’ JJ breathes in response. They go.

The restaurant Otabek has picked out was the product of many hours of research, reading reviews and menus and social media pages. The food was promised to be amazing, but the atmosphere was highlighted as the main selling point.

Otabek feels very sold on the atmosphere.

They’re taken to a booth with no questions, a secluded kind of thing trimmed with cherry wood and lit very dimly by warm gold candles flickering in the center of the table. The air smells like incense, intoxicating, and quiet music sets a backdrop for a very lazy, relaxed mood.

‘Romantic,’ JJ remarks, looking at the candles.

‘I try,’ Otabek teases before he can overthink it. JJ looks up at him at that.

The moment is broken by the waitress appearing to take their order, and they slide into their respective seats. Otabek is thus spared from having to explain himself any further. Instead, he focuses on his order, on the rich drawl of JJ’s voice as he tells the waitress what kind of wine they want.

Otabek barely remembers what he’s ordered for himself.

He’s a little preoccupied with this: the soft curve of JJ’s jaw in the gold light, the sheer novelty of seeing JJ in anything other than club-neon or gas-station-fluorescent, the peek of collarbone where JJ’s shirt is unbuttoned a button lower than what is decent, the way JJ’s incisor digs into his bottom lip.

Then he realizes that JJ is biting his lip because he’s busy looking at Otabek looking at him, and suddenly he’s preoccupied with breathing normally.

They both cough, and avert their eyes. He hears JJ snicker, and looks up again. JJ’s shoulders are shaking a little, and his eyes are laughing at him even as he hides his mouth in the hand he has propped up on the table, and — if JJ keeps looking like that, like he’s happy-drunk on Otabek’s presence alone, then Otabek might not even need the wine after all.

Their food arrives, in Otabek’s humble opinion, way too fast. He’s forced to focus on his steak instead of on JJ as the waitress fills up their glasses and leaves the bottle on the table. He doesn’t even know if he minds; it looks delicious.

JJ (king of one-upping) doesn’t let him focus on the steak for long.

Otabek almost chokes on it when he feels the brush of a foot against his calf, and then against his thigh, warm and teasing and very inappropriate for a public place. When he looks up, JJ is very innocently regarding the label on the wine. He meets Otabek’s gaze, sly as anything, before he moves his foot a foot to the right — and Otabek makes a sound into his steak that has JJ looking smug.

‘That good, huh,’ he asks, eyes twinkling, tilting his chin in the directoin of Otabek’s plate.

‘Shut up,’ Otabek croaks.

‘Let me have a taste,’ JJ flicks his tongue out, and Otabek can only oblige him as he brings his own fork, a piece of steak speared on it, to JJ’s lips. The moan JJ makes at the taste is obscene. Otabek is glad he’d already swallowed. That way, at least, he has nothing to choke on.

By the time the waitress reappears to take their now-empty plates away, JJ is on his second glass of wine. He’s sipping it slowly, seemingly savouring the taste, and he’s looking at Otabek with a mild kind of gaze that makes Otabek think he might want dessert.

‘Would you like dessert, sir?’ The waitress asks.

JJ looks Otabek in the eye when he licks his lips, pointedly, and replies for both of them. ‘Nah, I’m good.’

‘Thank you,’ Otabek adds to be polite, because nothing about the way that JJ licks the rim of his wine glass is polite. The waitress nods, a blush high on her cheeks.

Otabek’s throat is a little dry at the insinuation.

It’s followed by a scramble when she brings them the bill. JJ procures a credit card out of seemingly nowhere, pouncing the moment the little clipboard hits the table, but Otabek slides it towards him with his wallet out. JJ’s eyes narrow.

‘Otabek,’ he says dangerously.

‘JJ,’ Otabek replies, mildly, as he holds the clipboard just out of JJ’s reach.

‘Otabek,’ JJ says again in a tone that spells death. ‘Give me. The bill.’

‘Nah.’

‘Do you want to die.’ JJ’s smile is very wide and very terrifying. His eyes glint a little.

‘JJ, you’re scaring the nice lady,’ Otabek says just to see how far he can push, and smiles politely at the waitress as he hands her the bill with his card and absolutely does not enjoy the indignant sound JJ makes.

‘I can’t believe you.’ JJ says, incredulous and somewhat betrayed, as they leave the restaurant. ‘I cannot believe you.’

‘Mmm,’ Otabek hums.

JJ makes a strangled, frustrated sound, and he looks so adorable that Otabek can’t help but smile at him.

‘It was a date,’ Otabek tells him by way of explanation. Then, he wonders if he is being presumptious, and his cheer drains away a little. ‘Was it a date?’

JJ pouts for a second more before he replies.

‘It was,’ he concedes. ‘Even if you’re kind of a dick.’

Otabek is all giddy relief at that. They’re at the corner, already, the same one Otabek has parked his motorcycle, and suddenly he’s hit with the fact that this is it.

He’s actually kind of not ready to end it there. He clears his thoat.

‘Do you,’ he says, slowly, ‘maybe want to go somewhere else?’

JJ looks at him, bright and — secretly pleased? — before he ducks under his floppy fringe with a smile. ‘Maaaybe,’ he teases. ‘Where do you want to take me?’

Looking at him, happy and relaxed, cheeks a little pink from the two glasses he’s had, Otabek’s first thought is — everywhere. I’d take you everywhere.

He replies with a more realistic ‘the pier. Let’s go see the pier.’

‘The pier,’ JJ hums, as if trying to see how the words taste. ‘Okay. Take me to the pier, Otabek.’

Otabek glances at his motorcycle.

‘I hope you’re not planning to take me on that thing,’ JJ says. ‘Didn’t think drunk driving was a kink of yours.’

‘You don’t know my kinks,’ Otabek replies, absentmindedly, as he brings up Google Maps on his phone.

When he looks up at JJ, JJ looks half scandalized and half amused. ‘So tell me.’

‘Tell you what?’

‘About your kinks.’

Otabek blushes violently all of a sudden at the way JJ says that. He keeps his eyes firmly on the route that Google Maps suggests.

‘700 meters from here,’ he says instead. ‘You think we can walk that?’

‘You can carry me if my legs give out,’ JJ snarks. ‘Since you’re my knight in shining armor and all.’

Otabek pretends to consider it.

‘No. You’re heavy,’ he says, and turns his back on JJ’s indignant gasp to begin walking.

‘I cannot believe you’d let me die in some unknown street because you think I’m too fat to carry. Otabek. Is this how you treat all your dates?’

Otabek keeps walking and ignores JJ’s whining. JJ catches up soon enough; throws an arm around Otabek’s shoulders and pokes at his cheek where Otabek is trying to hide a smile.

‘You’re not fat,’ Otabek says. ‘Just muscley. Heavy.’

JJ snorts into his neck. ‘Says Mr. Built Like A Truck.’

‘If I was built like a truck,’ Otabek argues, ‘then I could lift you with my muscles.’

JJ jerks them both to a stop.

‘Carry me,’ he declares, dramatically.

‘No.’ Otabek widens his eyes at him.

‘Carry me,’ JJ insists.

‘No,‘ Otabek insists harder.

‘Otabek,’ JJ says, and his eyes are narrowed in the same way he glared at Otabek across the table at the restaurant. His voice is low, deliberate, and somewhat of a turn-on. ‘If you want to have any chance at all at this dick, you will shut up and carry me.‘

‘Are you serious.’

‘Otabek.’

Otabek considers a world in which he has no chance at all at that dick.

Then, he turns around and crouches a little, sighing.

JJ pretends to swoon for a moment before he climbs on. He pats Otabek’s cheek, lips close to his ear. ‘Good boy,’ he says. ‘I knew that would tempt you.’

Otabek thinks about his entire life and the weight of his combined mistakes for every one of the 700 meters he carries JJ to the pier.

When they finally reach there, JJ seems to be possessed by a spirit of someone chivalrous as fuck; he insists on buying two sticks of ice cream, gathers up both of their wrappers, and walks a whole 50 meters to the bin to throw them away.

When he joins Otabek on the walkway to lean against the railing, he looks oddly thoughtful. It smells like the sea, dark, rushing all around them, breaking against the rocks below in a heavy and constant rhythm. The only light comes from the lamps lining the railing, and from the stars twinkling above, as well as the ships dotting the horizon.

Under the orange light of the lamp right above them, JJ’s eyelashes cast shadows long enough to span his cheekbones. Otabek’s eyes are drawn to the way JJ licks melted ice cream off his wrist, catching the droplet before it runs down his arm. JJ doesn’t look at him; he’s too transfixed by the dark expanse before them.

Otabek briefly entertains the thought of staying in that particular moment forever.

JJ ruins that particular illusion very fast by pulling out his phone to check the time.

‘Otabek,’ he says, as he licks the ice cream stick clean. ‘It’s almost midnight.’

‘Mm,’ Otabek hums, trying his best to ignore the way something in his chest sinks a little at that. ‘Want to head back?’ he says instead, turning to look at JJ properly.

JJ yawns at him in reply.

Otabek is so, so fond. JJ blinks at him, and then stretches a hand out to pull Otabek in closer by the collar of his jacket. For a minute, they’re staring at each other, unguarded and anticipatory, the sea rushing under their feet and the stars above them.

JJ leans in first.

His breath is ghosting over Otabek’s cheek, maddening-hot, flickering down to his jaw. His voice, when it comes, is pitched quiet and velvet-soft. ‘I want to do this again,’ JJ murmurs into the shell of Otabek’s ear. ‘Tell me we’re doing this again’.

JJ doesn’t kiss him; he doesn’t have to.

chapter 4: first kiss

That one date seems to break some kind of invisible barrier, some kind of line that separated club JJ and Otabek’s JJ.

When Otabek first sees him during the daytime, it’s not their first date; but it’s his first time seeing JJ in sunlight, playing across his hair, setting his eyes on fire.

Just Otabek’s luck that the fucker would look breathtaking in literally every kind of light.

It was JJ’s proposal they meet in a cafe near where he works. He’d texted with too many emojis, nervous hope in every word, and Otabek accepted without thinking. Clearly, accepting things without thinking when it comes to JJ is a trend, but also very stupid of Otabek, given how he is literally dying.

JJ looks, disgustingly, unfairly, ridiculously beautiful in the soft midday rays filtering through the cafe window. Only a decade of experience in ordering coffee allows Otabek to function; most of his brain cells are diverted to the incredibly important task of figuring out how JJ manages to look more radiant than the sun itself. What the fuck, even.

He thinks JJ has noticed Otabek’s fish-like gaping at some point, actually, because JJ looks like he’s about to start laughing any minute. Mercifully, he does not. Instead, he starts talking about his life, does things to Otabek’s poor gay heart when he realizes that he’s being let into something very private and very personal and very JJ.

There’s something about daylight, apparently, that makes JJ less of an enigma and more of an open, warm person who owns dogs and takes pictures of the view outside his office window and tells Otabek about these things.

Tells Otabek these things like it’s nothing, like he’s talking about the weather, instead of divulging precious information about himself.

Daytime JJ is another dimension, another whole field to explore, and Otabek literally does not know how on earth he can be possibly more in love with someone, but somehow he manages to do just that. It’s like he’s dug a hole down through the entire diameter of the Earth and is now bravely digging into outer space, leaving molten rock and humanity behind to chase the stars.

A very particular star, to be more exact.

A very particular star that has cleared its throat three times already and is smirking at him in amusement as he attempts to recall where the conversation was before he spaced out (hah) thinking about how much he adores stars in general, and JJ above all.

He blinks very rapidly to try and cover up that fact.

JJ is most definitely laughing at him now. He pokes Otabek’s shin under the table with his toes and crinkles his eyes.

‘Thinking about something?’ He asks. ‘Someone?’ he says, and oh, he’s totally making fun of Otabek.

‘Yeah,’ Otabek says. Waits.

‘Oh?’ JJ bites. ‘Tell me about them?’

‘You wouldn’t want to hear it, really, he’s kind of an ass.’

‘My, Otabek, thinking about yourself again? You’re so vain,’ JJ sighs in mock disappointment.

‘mY, oTaBeK, tHiNkInG aBoUt yOuRsElF aGaiN? yOu’Re So VaIn,’ Otabek mocks into his coffee for lack of a better comeback.

JJ chokes a little on his bite of muffin, staring at Otabek in unguarded delight.

‘Otabek,’ he says, ‘did you just meme?’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ says Otabek, with infinite dignity.

‘You totally just memed!’ JJ squeals.

Otabek very pointedly bites into his own muffin and ignores him.

‘You. Memed!’ JJ repeats, stabbing his toes into Otabek’s shin for emphasis. ‘I cannot believe my boyfriend is a walking meme. Wow.’

Boyfriend, he says.

‘ksdjgfhjgh,’ Otabek says, as he tries to cough his muffin out of his windpipe.

‘Otabek. Are you dying.’ JJ’s eyes are appropriately wide and his hands are hovering off the table as if he’s about to leap over it and do something helpful, like thump Otabek very hard on the back.

‘No,’ Otabek says eventually, a little hoarse from coughing.

‘Was it something I said? That you’re a meme? —Oh.’ JJ’s eyes are even wider. ‘It’s the boyfriend thing, isn’t it. You’re choking because I called you my boyfriend.’

Otabek’s entire face has colored to match the raspberries in JJ’s muffin.

‘Oh god.’ JJ sounds horrified. ‘You don’t like it. I fucked up. Oh god, I fucked up.’

‘NO,’ Otabek rushes to correct. His voice probably comes out a little too harsh. ‘No,’ he repeats, more quietly. ‘I liked it.’

JJ stares at him, dubious.

‘I really liked it,’ Otabek mumbles, flustered.

‘Boyfriend.’

‘Oh god. Stop.’

‘Boyfriend.’

‘Now you’re just making fun of me.’

‘Otabek Altin, my boyfriend.’

‘I am leaving right now, immediately.’

‘Aww, would you leave your boyfriend all alone in a cafe on your date?’

‘Literally yes,’ Otabek says, and stands.

‘You don’t mean that,’ JJ simpers and flutters his eyelashes at him.

Otabek leans forward to put his face very close to JJ’s. ‘Yes,’ he says, enunciating every word. ‘I do. I would totally leave my boyfriend,’ he pauses there, watching the stunned look on JJ’s face with narrowed eyes, ‘because he is being obnoxious in this cafe, on our date.‘

After that declaration, JJ is silent for a moment. He looks, in one word, shook.

Then he whispers. ‘Holy shit.’

Then, a little louder. ‘I can leave with you, though, right? I’m done with my muffin.’

Otabek blinks. ‘Yeah. I’ll go pay?’

‘Ok,’ JJ says. His cheeks are very pink. ‘Boyfriend’.

‘Obnoxious,’ Otabek mutters under his breath as he makes his way to the counter with his wallet. He’s smiling, though.

The street outside the cafe is very warm, and very sunlit. JJ pauses to pull out his phone to take a picture of the sun beams caught in the leaves of a very green tree, framed against the wispy clouds of the sky. Incidentally, the sky is very fucking blue.

Otabek doesn’t know where to go from here, so once JJ finally gets his perfect shot, they just stand there.

Time stretches on, for a bit, ahead of them. JJ is looking at Otabek like he’s waiting for something. Otabek wonders what the hell he’s waiting for.

Then JJ nods, quick and decisive, and kisses Otabek in the middle of the street.

It’s a firm press of lips, dry and smooth, right on Otabek’s own. He makes some kind of surprised sound, some kind of I can’t believe this is happening right now but I’ve been waiting for it so long and I’ve imagined it countless times and it was never like this but this is also impossibly better than anything I could have imagined, and when his lips part JJ takes it as his cue to press in closer and taste.

JJ tastes like the raspberry muffin he’s ordered at the cafe. He also tastes like Otabek thinks a meteor might taste like, or a star, or the music right before the beat drops. Under all that, he just tastes like a complete dork.

JJ pulls away with a final peck. His eyes are shining.

‘I’ve been waiting to do that,’ he says, and it’s the most cliche line ever but it does things to Otabek’s heart.

‘Was it good?’ he blurts out. He’s still a little dazed from the kiss.

‘You’re asking me,’ JJ laughs. ‘Yes, dumbass. It was good.’

‘Want to do it again?’ Otabek says, when he recovers a little from the idea of JJ thinking that their kiss was good.

‘Well, if you ask nicely,’ JJ says against his lips. ‘Maybe.’

They do it again. And again.

chapter 5: first 'i love u'

warning: jj asks 4 the D. he's also in the hospital, but nth graphic is described ?? no rly jj mentions his dick and otabek mentions broken limbs

Their relationship thrives on a solid foundation of similarities. They’re both, equally, likely to be found somewhere crowded and neon and loud past 10pm on a weekend; they both, unfailingly, sport an undercut and multiple piercings; they both, without a doubt, incredibly gone on each other.

They do say, though, that opposites attract, so the healthy sprinkle of mirror-image differences probably spices up the otherwise very healthy salad that is their relationship. There’s the 10cm JJ has on Otabek; 10cm that Otabek determinedly ignores anytime he drags JJ down for a kiss. There’s also the fact that when you get to know him, JJ is a complete whiny diva, and Otabek literally does not have any room to be a whiny baby because JJ takes up all of it and then some.

There’s also this: unlike JJ, who has wrapped himself in layers upon layers of nicknames like spare labels to shed at will, Otabek never really felt the same itching need to be something else.

Unlike JJ, whom Otabek can call Jean when he’s aiming for particularly vulnerable spots, emotionally, Otabek doesn’t have much to his name besides his name itself. Most of the time, as a result, JJ doesn’t call him anything at all.

Well, there are some things: he calls Otabek bro, ironically, dude, even more ironically, and Otabek, when he’s lit by the harsh buzzing fluorescent hospital lights.

Jean, Otabek says to the hand gripped firmly between his own. Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you dare do this to me right now.

JJ’s response is a weak laugh that breaks midway into a weak cough, and Otabek’s fingers clench with the conflicting desire to push him into the starch-white hospital sheets to tell him to shut up and save his breath, or to pull him in close and possibly never let go.

I think you care a lot, Otabek, JJ’s smile says for him.

Of course I fucking do, idiot, says the hard and tense line of Otabek’s jaw.

‘I love you,’ says JJ finally. ‘I think I really do.’ He looks as if his own admission was what got him dazed and blinking up at Otabek in some kind of silent wonder, and not blood loss.

‘Shut up. You idiot. You fucking idiot.’ Otabek’s voice comes out sharp, exasperated, like the glaring lights overhead. ‘I love you too. Shut up.’

‘Oh god, I love you so much,’ he follows up in a hoarse whisper that cracks towards the end, eyes closed and JJ’s limp hand pressed to the space between his eyebrows with both of his own.

When Otabek finally collects himself, synching breaths to the slow beep of the heart rate monitors, he presses his lips against JJ’s knuckles and takes in a deep breath.

‘You are never,’ he says, heavy intent in every single word, ‘ever, stepping foot near a motorcycle alone ever again. Jean. I will break both your legs myself.’

‘You don’t mean that,’ JJ says, light.

Otabek sighs against JJ’s palm.

‘No,’ he admits, finally. ‘I can’t tell you what to do. But please, J, don’t ever scare me like that again.’

JJ brushes the knuckles of his hand over Otabek’s cheek, over his miserable expression.

‘Okay,’ he whispers, ‘okay.’

Then JJ’s contrite expression turns devious. ‘But when I finally get out of this cast, I want you to give me the D.’

Otabek stares at him for a very long, very stunned moment.

‘How many drugs are you on?’

JJ shrugs. ‘Enough, probably. But I’ve wanted you since months before that, so I don’t think it really matters.’

‘Jean. You have just broken several limbs, lost enough blood to fund an entire donation drive, and the thing you choose to think about is my dick? I don’t know if I should be flattered or disturbed.’

‘Depends,’ JJ says, matching Otabek’s serious tone. ‘Is your dick flattering or disturbing?’

‘I can’t believe you,’ Otabek mumbles.

‘I can’t believe you love me,’ Jean fires back, and then pauses as if he doesn’t realize it came out that way.

‘Too bad,’ Otabek says, measured. ‘Because I do. Get used to it.’

‘You love me,’ JJ repeats, giddy. ‘You love me.’

‘Yeah, genius, glad to see the crash didn’t affect your listening comprehension skills.’

‘You looooove me. Wow.’ Then, JJ’s expression turns suddenly serious. He’s biting on his lip, even, as he looks at Otabek all careful-like. ‘You’ll tell me that again when I’m not drugged up to my gills, right?’

Otabek slides their fingers together, and nods. ‘I will. And every day, for the rest of our lives.’

For the rest of our lives, JJ mouths.

For the rest of our lives, Otabek nods, a promise.

#jjbekweek #jjbekweek2017 #jjbek #yuri on ice #yoi #listen... it's 19th here.... im very bad at being patient and waiting my turn #.txt

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