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i walk up to the podium . er. i limp up to the podium. i clear my throat and tap the mic. i announce “my ankle hurt” before nodding solemnly and taking my leave
#clamtalk#the pain is endless#I don't really talk about me being Disabled(tm) often but hot Damn I am feeling the Effects of Leg Not Working syndromes#the past week has been super busy and i've had to be super active and LOTS of walking and LOTS of going up and down stairs#all while I am not supposed to be doing any of that due to the aforementioned Problematic Leg#but during the college thing I was at they didn't give me the accommodations I needed until the sECOND DAY . and I was still expected to#use stairs as opposed to the elevators#sitting here about to collapse due to leg giving out like hmmm.#without going into detail about my Leg . all u need to know is that the left one from the hip down is just full of issues#the right one shares one (1) of the issues. but the left leg is just like ''watch THIS'' *dies*#one of the newer issues is The Ankle. who has decided to develop chronic pain because It Feels Like It#so basically after a week of overexertion on already fucked up legs my ability to walk is just not doing so hot sdhgkjsdhgkjh#very much expecting to just fall apart once I finally get home#ah well . *price is right losing horn sound effect*
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Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts
So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.
NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.
Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.
Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.
I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.
Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.
I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.
Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.
Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.
SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD
Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.
Fricking LOVE the new transition.
Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?
Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?
AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!
Okay, but I love the new town.
Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.
So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.
Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.
Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.
Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?
I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.
I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.
RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY
And of course, the moss call-back.
Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.
This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa
Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?
Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.
Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.
Perfect.
And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.
So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.
Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.
So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.
Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.
So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.
Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!
Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.
Alright, let’s take these challenges!
Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!
He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.
Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.
I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.
Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.
I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.
“Cookie and Wife”?
The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.
Imma get a Silver Card.
What the fuck, Mr. Society?
Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.
LANCER was added to your key items.
Oh was he now?
And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”
Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.
Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.
Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.
Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.
…Undyne, what the fuck?
Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.
Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.
“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.
Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…
My house!
I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.
Computer lab time!
So, computer themed, maybe?
Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.
Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!
Who is SHE?!
Was
Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?
Asking for help?
OH MY GOD
ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN
SHES BEEN TAKEN
NOOOO
And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.
Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.
Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?
Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.
Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.
Aiming at moving targets is hard.
2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!
RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!
Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!
Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.
Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.
God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!
I love angry Ralsei.
First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.
Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?
Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.
Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.
Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!
Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!
Now the whole gang’s dancing!
(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)
In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?
“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.
“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?
So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…
So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.
Smorgasbord 2.
Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!
Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.
66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…
Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?
Oh my god.
Go kart time.
Noelle, you traitor! How could you!
Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.
Also, “beloved”.
I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.
“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.
That’s one weird Check for Berdly.
Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.
You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.
Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)
Garbage! Saved by it again.
Oh, this place looks glitchy.
Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.
Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.
Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.
Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.
Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…
I’m flipping a coin.
Okay, Ralsei it is!
Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.
Oh, they’re going together.
Oh, this can’t be good.
If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.
I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…
Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.
…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.
Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.
God, I’m already missing my party members.
Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.
Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.
Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.
God they’re so dumb.
“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.
I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.
Yay! Noelle in party!
“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.
I love her.
I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.
Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.
Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.
Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!
Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.
See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.
Oh, she’s a natural!
“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.
Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?
Oh my god, I just love her animations.
So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…
Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.
Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…
Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.
Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.
Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.
Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.
I am both scared of and loving Queen.
Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.
That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.
Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.
Her eyes say lying. Of course.
“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.
…Berdly, you disturb me.
Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”
Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?
Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.
Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…
Why are we, flavors of tea???
Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.
The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.
I am going to touch the cheese.
Maus!
Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.
Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.
Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!
Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.
Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.
Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.
Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!
“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.
Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.
Potassium
Who is this trash man?
Spamton, huh. Oh boy.
Oh god, this song has lyrics.
Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.
Oh, new game over screen! Nice.
Anyways, I hate this guy.
Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.
I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.
Oh damnit, 1% more.
Okay, I’m very scared now.
Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.
Okay, back in the car.
Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.
Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!
Oh, he ate it…nice!
DECEMB…
Oh god she’s a little kid.
December.
I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.
Queen, why does everything you have explode?
Now the prize is on my head.
Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!
She can slightly heal me now…cool!
And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.
Uh, Susie! You can have it!
Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.
And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?
The gang’s all here!
Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?
Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.
Oooo, catching mice minigame!
Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!
Oooo, bucket hole!
Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.
Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!
Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…
Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE
GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.
Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.
She only plays mobile games. Burn her.
For once Berdly is correct.
Queen, you are dumb.
Is that the super Mario world fade?
I don’t, next question.
No looking at my Search history!
Oh, hey, we can chat in here.
LANCER TIME!
YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE
Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.
Lancer, do you still not know our name?!
So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?
Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.
Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?
Asriel…
Puzzle time!
Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.
Berdly is dumb.
Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…
Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.
Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.
Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.
Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.
Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.
Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.
Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…
Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…
Color Cafe, huh?
Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.
I love this hype manor song!
Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???
Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.
Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.
Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…
Yay, fireworks, again!
East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…
Oh dear.
So there’s a secret here after all…where is…
Found it!
Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.
Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?
Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.
$28, not a penny more.
KeyGen, huh…
If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.
Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.
Oh what the fuck.
Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.
Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.
Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.
Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…
EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…
Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?
…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?
Okay, trash man, you better like this.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.
Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…
Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!
Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.
THANK YOU SUSIE!
Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!
YELLOW SOUL!
Can’t write notes, gotta kill.
Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?
Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!
Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????
Many tries later
Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…
Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later
Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!
Even more death later
Did he just, attack himself?
Is he surrendering?
I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!
Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.
Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…
+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”
Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.
Alright, now back to the actual plot!
Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.
I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.
Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.
Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.
Mouse wheel!
Tasque manager helped!
Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…
Toby!
Thank you annoying dog!
Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!
We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.
Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.
God, Knight teased.
Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.
Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.
High Five!
More duck ride!
Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?
Oh boy.
Oh jeez.
Oh damn.
Rouxls.
Ralsei, you read my mind.
Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.
Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.
I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.
Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.
Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.
His head is still blue…
Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!
Mostly hugs.
Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!
Oh my god, my heart is breaking.
Okay, I love these adorable girls.
Oh boy, this is, weird.
“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.
Fair point, Susie.
She likes scary things, huh.
Kinky
Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.
Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.
Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?
I fucking knew it.
Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.
Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!
Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…
Werewerewire?!
Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.
Okay, boss time.
Shit, I should’ve healed up.
Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!
So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.
Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…
So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.
Bitch, did you just funny runny way?
Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.
Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.
Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.
The “Roaring” Knight?
Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?
Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT
When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…
HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!
Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.
Susie’s dancing!
Oh yeah, he can fly.
Resistance! Yay!
Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.
I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.
Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.
Two rounds down, one to go!
Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!
Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.
Oh. She still has us.
Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.
Okay, so, Queen is dead.
Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.
The Roaring?
Oh fuck, new legend lore.
Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.
Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.
QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!
Thank you, Susie!
Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!
Susie, please don’t turn evil.
…
And, we’re in the computer lab!
Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?
Lost control laughing #3: this
I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.
Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.
Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.
Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!
Napstablook, I love you.
Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?
Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?
Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?
Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!
Okay, this is gonna be interesting.
Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.
Oh cool, King and Queen together.
Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.
So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.
Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!
New battle challenges! Yes!
Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…
Perfection is the mannequin reaction.
Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this
Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.
Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.
Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.
Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!
Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.
Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…
Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!
Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?
Hell yes I do!
Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…
Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.
The trousle grows further away.
Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.
Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!
Oh, never mind.
A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.
See you, Su-
Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!
Pie for all!
Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.
Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.
Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.
Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…
WHAT THE FUCK
OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING
WHAT THE FUCK
…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?
I’m very concerned.
Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.
Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?
Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!
Kris what the fuck are you doing
And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?
Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?
Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?
Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.
There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.
I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.
She’s asleep.
That, might not be good, in this context.
Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?
Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.
Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?
That, knife…
Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…
What the fuck is happening?
Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.
“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY
So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!
In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.
#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#deltarune chapter 2#deltarune chapter two#deltarune chapter two spoilers#deltarune liveblog#shut up sorio#I have so many more thoughts#just give them a while to coalesce into something coherent
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About YOU: Tips For Writing The Perfect Agent Bio (With Examples)
Your agent bio says everything your clients need to know about you – that makes it critically important to your real estate website.
If you took our advice a couple of weeks ago you are now the proud owner of a home page that sings! If not, read this and get to work.
Searching for a better performing real estate website? Be sure to consider LeadSites.
Today we tackle the second most important page on your real estate website: the “About Me,” “About the Team” or “Company Profile” page. Today we’re talking about your agent bio.
Writing an agent bio isn’t easy
If you write your own blog posts you know how challenging it is to come up with decent topics. Then, when you put fingers to keyboard it’s even harder to put the details to the topic. Is it any wonder then that there are far too many lame agent bios online?
We feel your pain, so we’re offering up some tips to write the perfect agent bio. We’ll even show you a few examples of how agents who did it right are getting website visitors to fall in love with them.
The importance of your agent bio
Today’s consumers research much more than they did in the past. Whether it’s a pair of sneakers or a real estate agent, they take the time to visit review sites, such as Yelp.com, and, in the case of service providers, they check out their websites, most specifically, their About Me page.
Display your team with gorgeous templates in a matter of seconds with LeadSites – Learn More
Jeremy Johnson at rocketspark.com says to “think of your ‘About Us’ page as speed-dating” with a potential client. We prefer to think of it as the staging behind your home page’s curb appeal.
When leads see what’s behind the curb appeal will they hit the back button or be intrigued to seek out more information?
It depends on how well you know your audience, your familiarity with what they’re looking for and your ability to convey that in writing.
Understand the purpose of your agent bio
There’s one in every circle. You know, the guy or gal who blabs incessantly about themselves. There’s a term for those people: self-absorbed. The real estate industry is littered with them, patting themselves on their own back at every opportunity.
While their reasons for doing so may be rooted in a misunderstanding of marketing principles, the effect is still the same as it would be if they were doing it deliberately – they’re boring.
The purpose of your agent bio is to help potential clients get to know you both on a professional and personal level. Self-absorption doesn’t help them connect with you as anything more than just a “salesperson,” and it certainly doesn’t establish yourself as someone they can trust.
Then, understand your audience
There are several reasons a website visitor might click on the “About Me” button in your site’s navigation bar:
They want to learn more about you, both personally and professionally before hiring you.
They want to learn what you can do for them that other agents can’t.
They’re a creepy stalker.
Just kidding on the last one. To get their business, you’ll need to help readers get to know you better, hopefully to at least fall in “like” with you and you’ll need to give them reasons to trust you.
John Doe and his team are the Top 250 Teams in the U.S.A. for volume sold in
2015 per The Wall Street Journal and Real Trends. They have established a
concrete 5 year plan that will magnify the business tremendously as well as
a tangible strategy to reach a billion in sales per year within the next 10 years.
John is part of some of the most influential mastermind groups in the industry
consisting of multiple hundred million dollar plus teams such as the
RE/MAX #1 Agent in all of Minnesota, the #2 Keller Williams Agent in the world,
the #3 RE/MAX Agent nationwide, the #1 Agent in all of Western Canada and
other like folks on a daily basis..
For some reason, this agent feels that his 5-year business plan and his income goals are somehow pertinent to his readers. Then, he apparently forgot to proof the piece for grammar and punctuation errors.
I know this agent personally and respect his work. I also like him. But had I not known him, this business-plan-masquerading-as-a-bio would’ve done nothing to impress me or endear him to me.
Finally, the grammar and punctuation errors are careless. How can I trust him to use more care when handling the sale of my home?
Think about who your likely client is and write to that persona. This may mean you use a more casual tone, or, in the case of luxury agents, a more formal presentation.
Trust is tricky business. When all you have is words on a page to initiate a relationship, every word matters. Every well-placed comma counts and carelessness – whether it is what you choose to say or the lack of attention to detail — will be noticed.
By understanding your bio’s purpose and the audience for it, you can avoid filling it with garbage only your mother will find impressive.
TIP: Ask yourself throughout the writing process, “Who cares?” Keep editing your agent bio until the answer is “my potential client cares.”
Keep your agent bio subtle
It seems almost counterintuitive to have a page devoted solely to you and not be able to toot your own horn, doesn’t it?
Ah, but you can and you will; you just won’t club the reader over the head with your greatness.
The key to subtlety means getting someone else to extol your virtues and that someone else is a narrator. Writing your bio in the third person helps you avoid sounding narcissistic. After all, the praise is coming not from you, but from the narrator. There are plenty of other pages on your site to load up with content that self-promotes.
When writing your agent bio, start strong
Jane Doe, ABR, CRS, CDPE, e-PRO, MRP, MA, REALTOR® is a second-
generation REALTOR®
Thus, begins the not-very-interesting agent bio from an agent we will call Jane Doe. Is there anything in this intro that compels you to read on?
The alphabet soup after her name is guaranteed to cause confusion. Studies show that not only do real estate consumers not know what these letters mean, they don’t care.
Neither will they care that one of her parents is an agent. Would you care if your plumber’s dad was also a plumber?
The first sentence of your bio is critical to keeping the reader from pressing the “back” button. If you lose them here, you’ve lost them forever.
We’ll point out some strong opening sentences in the examples that follow.
Shane Jorgenson – The Jorgenson Group, Jacksonville, FL
Story-telling, if done right, draws in the reader. Eager to find out what happens next, they continue reading.
The writer obviously felt that Jorgenson’s plane crash story is compelling enough to lead the bio. And, he/she was right if you, too, click over to read the rest of his story.
Kris Lindahl – Kris Lindahl Real Estate, Twin Cities, MN
Minnesota mega-broker Kris Lindahl’s agent bio immediately establishes him as a down-to-earth guy who is happy to share his secret fishing spots with us. Whether an angler or not, this is a guy many would like to get to know more.
The narrator then deftly segues into a focus on his work ethic. And, if you read on, you’ll notice his credentials are cleverly woven throughout the narrative.
By the way, did you notice how the first sentence of Lindhal’s agent bio also sneaks in that he is “the leading Realtor in the area?” Done subtly, it cleverly gets the message across without making him appear boastful.
But, the real genius behind his bio are the family photos. If those don’t help a reader to trust him, nothing will.
To keep your readers from hitting the “back” button before they get to know you, start your agent bio strong. Remember your goal and use that information cleverly to reach out and grab the reader by the eyes and give them something that forces them to want to read on.
Whether that’s a tidbit from your personal life or an amazing sales statistic, THAT is what the first paragraph of your agent bio should do
Items that must be worked into your agent bio
Some information absolutely must be made part of your agent bio. For instance, homebuyers are particularly interested in using an agent that is familiar with the area they’ve chosen.
1. Your agent bio should showcase local expertise
If you were born and raised in the area you serve, use that for all it’s worth. This is how Augie Neno, broker/owner of Rosa Agency, Inc. in Kearny, NJ worked his native New Jerseyan status into his agent bio:
Augie is a local boy through and through. He was born and raised in Kearny, New Jersey
and attended St. Stephens Grammar School in Kearny and Queen of Peace High School in North Arlington.
Reading this, the potential client gets a clear picture that this guy is a bona fide Kearny, New Jersey expert.
2. Impressive sales statistics should be a part of every agent bio
If your sales statistics are truly impressive, never leave them out of your agent bio. Although this was taken from an interview of Silicon Valley’s Ken DeLeon and not a bio, it would work well in the latter.
Here, the reader learns that this is one powerhouse of an agent, with impressive credentials, but he’s also a person – a living, breathing “crazy dancer.”
One in a million – that’s what Ken DeLeon is, according to the Wall Street Journal and REAL Trends, Inc.
Well, that’s not all he is – he’s a crazy dancer as well, but we’ll touch on that a bit later.
DeLeon, with $275 million dollars in sales volume in 2011, is the country’s number one real estate agent, out of more than one million agents.
Even if you aren’t a top producer, if your stats are respectable, mention them in your agent bio. Panelists in a NAR survey of consumers who were asked to read agent bios said these numbers are important to them.
“They wanted to see more profiles that included information such as how many properties you’ve sold, how close your sales are to list price, the typical price range of your listings, and how long you’ve been working in real estate,” claims Graham Wood at magazine.realtor.
3. Exceptional community involvement makes for a great agent bio
Millennials are particularly notorious for checking a company’s “social responsibility” before doing business with them. But they aren’t the only ones.
Ninety percent of consumers say they are “likely to switch to brands that support a good cause.”
In an industry where professionals have an undeserved reputation as “sharks,” and given no higher regard than used car salespeople, social responsibility goes a long way to polishing your image. It also helps consumers trust you.
If you are among the growing number of agents who give back, consistently, to your community, it’s definitely worth a mention in your bio.
Real estate can be a cutthroat industry and standing out from the masses is beyond challenging.
Your agent bio on your real estate website is the one place that you can show potential clients that you aren’t pushy, you aren’t phony, you aren’t just in it for the commission – a place to dispel all the common assumptions real estate consumers hold about agents.
Be the agent the consumer wants to get to know.
Ready to see how the hardest working website in real estate can grow your business? Learn more.
Want more examples of the best real estate websites? Check out these top 10 real estate websites!
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