#ahahahaha fuck my phones gonna die

[whumpy-wyrms]

I LOOOVE DRAWING I LOVE ART

[perlaophirian]

ISIS Group Chapter 1

A man;codename:Sharp Eagle,had a phone call by one of his annoying friends that are also in the terrorrist group.

Sharp Eagle(???): What do you want now,Meteorío?

Meteorío(???): I've got inform by one of my co-workers that the famous "Fallen Angel" also known as the Supercontinent Pannotia Vendian had died. You killed her,right?

Sharp Eagle(???): Yes,i'm the one who did it.

Meteorío(???): Gosh! She must be weak and stupid to die! Ahahahaha!! Yeah,sorry,sorry! Also, you had miss to see their face when she died. Even her own not reall siblings was sad and they totally fall into the despair. Oh! It seems that i must be ready for spreading the news! I must act again!

Sharp Eagle(???): Normal. We must keep that secret if we don't wants to be caught. I should go,bye.

Meteorío(???): Wish me good luck!

He then hang out. He look at the sky,thinking about something. Why can't he change? Of course,no one will accept him. It's was their fault if he became like this. He sigh of sadness.

Sharp Eagle(???): I wish that you were there,New France... Why the world separated us so we didn't do anything? But i know we are not in the same world... Can i even change,just for once? All i want is to build an happy family. But at least i have my daughter Merry. Hehe...

Sharp Eagle feel someone behind him and he turn around.

Sharp Eagle(???): Oh,it's only you,General Liliw...

General Liliw(???): Glad to see you,Æmə(it's an error here)...

Sharp Eagle(???): Do you know that's against the rule to tell our real name?

General Liliw(???): I know... I just miss the old times and i don't want to forget our real names.

Sharp Eagle(???): Do you have any missions to do?

General Liliw(???): ........No,i haven't yet.

Sharp Eagle(???): I see... Also,are you still sure that i shouldn't kill PKI after he reject you harshly?

General Liliw(???): Yes i am,ąṅð ƴøų?

Sharp Eagle(???): Ƴəş,ı ām fịŋĕ. Ťĥªņƙ ŷøų,Martial.

General Liliw(Martial): So you admit really that you also missed our names,huh? Ąməŕịčå?

Sharp Eagle just nod. General Liliw,or should i said Martial Law,smile a bit,while looking at the beautifull sky. Suddenly,a phone's rang for interrupting;it was Martial's phone. They are gonna have their meeting.

//Timeskip//

They were all gather and ISIS told them that they can have their real names unless there's no here except for them. They must introduce themselves to strongest to weakest even thought they already knew each other.

Sharp Eagle(???): The name's America Walter,codename:Sharp Eagle,i'm the Ultimate Agent, son of UK and France Walter and the n°1 strongest.

General Liliw(Martial): Martial Maharlika,codename: General Liliw,the Ultimate Soldier,son of KKK and Perla Maharlika and the 2nd strongest.

Sundown(???): I'm Philia Maharlika,codename: Sundown,the Ultimate Gambler,Martial's younger sister and the 2b strongest.

Dynamite(???): My name is North Korea Minguk, codename:Dynamite,the Ultimate Dictactor and Dancer,older brother of the famous pop singer South Korea and the 3rd strongest.

Demon Queen(???): Mongolia Batbayar,codename: Demon Queen,the Ultimate Model,only daughter of Mongol Empire and Golden Horde Batbayar and the n°4.

Cloni(???): I'm Italy Rossi! Codename:Cloni,the Ultimate Cook,son of Fascist Italy and the n°5!

Lucky Clover(???): Hihihi! My name is Ireland Celts, codename:Lucky Clover! I'm the Ultimate Gentleman!My parents;i don't give a fuck and the n°6! Hihihi!

ISIS mind: Typical Ireland...

Captain Skull(???): Heyyy bitch!! Somalia Jamhuriyada and my fucking codename is the Captain Skull! I'm the Ultimate Pirate! I don't want to talk about my parents and i'm the n°7!

Almost everyone do a "bruh" face while some of them laugh/wheeze.

Meteorío(???): I'm A-Argentina Silverum,codename: Meteorío,t-the Ultimate Journalist,Imperal of Argentina is my mother and i'm the n°8!

Ice Jewish(???): Pleasure! I'm Israel Zohar,codename: Ice Jewish,the Ultimate Childs Keeper,son of Canaan Zohar and the n°9.

Doctor Cross(???): I'm Switzerland Müller,codename: Doctor Cross,the Ultimate Doctor,one of Third Reich's childrens and the n°10.

Fire Phoenix(???): Azerbaijan Mammadov,codename: the Fire Phoenix,the Ultimate Butler,i fucking hate my parents so no,and the n°11.

Taipei Kingdom(???): Hi! I'm Taïwan Formosa! My codename is Taipei Kingdom,the Ultimate Yandere 'cause i have a crush on Hong-Kong,son of Kuomintang and the Republic of China and the n°12!

Nurse Tsunami(???): Tonga Tupou at your service! Codename:Nurse Tsunami,the Ultimate Nurse,i'm an orphan so i don't know my parents and n°13.

Aphrodite(???): Hello! I'm Cyprus Georgiou,codename: Aphrodite,i'm the Ultimate Beauty Queen,daughter of Alashiya and the n°14.

Thunder Dragon(???): Hi... I'm Bhutan Tshering, codename:the Thunder Dragon,the Ultimate Assistant,i won't talk about my parents and the weakest of all.

ISIS: Thank you for that! The reason why you are all here is because i have an important anouncement: i need an successor.

Switzerland: Hold on! Why a successor? We've been all together for only 7 fucking years and why you need a successor?

Azerbaijan: I agreed with Switzy. Why that? Why now?

ISIS: The reason why i need a successor because.....

He stop for a minute,waiting for answers. Some of them were shock and a "why" on the face while the others are concerned and surprised. He finally respond.

ISIS: I... have only 5 more years to live!...

Everyone were very shock and didn't accept the fact that their Boss is dying. North slam the table,angry and upset.

NK: Why?!... WHY?! In 7 years,you tell us now?! I am NOT accepting the fact that you are dying!

Somalia: Pffft! Weak!

Tonga: Alia!

Somalia: What?!... Is the truth! Also,why Boss need to say that to us now? Is it because is he weak or something? Hell yes!

Switzerland: Show some respect to him,Somalia! Why don't you have a pity on him?!

Somalia: Me? Pity on him? What now?! He didn't even tell us the whole fucking truth! And you want ME to have some pities on him! Useless!

Switzerland: Why you—

ISIS: It's okay,Switzerland,i got this.

Switzerland: Yes,Boss...

Martial: It is now done? It's getting boring here.

Cyprus: Yeah! I totally agreed with you Martial! It's getting nerve on my beautifull face!

Taïwan: Tsk! Shut up you two!

Martial: You shut up!

Taïwan: That's why you shoes raggened!

Argentina: Dang!

Martial: That's why you don't have a brother to spend time off!

Argentina&Somalia:Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!

ISIS: Silence! As for today,i want you all find what i wanted!

America: And how we could find your successor, Boss?

ISIS show them a necklace with a blue crystal. He said that if it's glow,it's the future successor of ISIS. America,Tonga and Bhutan volunteered to find him/her and there are all dismissed.

[cyanpeacock]

BPD is like what. 

I’m learning that like, the skills I’m working on are about management. It’s not a cure. I still go from “OK time to drink the pentobarbital and die” to “I AM GOD AND I HAVE BLESSED ALL THAT THERE IS WITH HOLY LIGHT” in a matter of minutes to hours. 

Like, my phone screen cracked when I dropped it earlier. I was like, kill yourself, you’re pathetic, it’s as broken as you are now, and you know you deserve to die, you’re careless, you’re good for nothing. 

An hour later and I’m like, oh man, this looks so beautiful, this is a gift from God, it’s like a rainbow spiderweb across the front of my phone screen, it even looks pretty when it’s turned off now!

Ahahahaha yeah. Yeah. (Trent Reznor voice) What have I become.

Fuck, don’t live like me. Thank the heavens you can’t, because you’re not in this body, using this hellbrain. Or are you? How can it be proven or disproven? If quantum theory holds true, are you entangled with me? Is this how the phenomenon of possession comes about? What about all the unobserved quantum states? 

I’m Schroedinger’s cat. I don’t know if I’m alive or dead. I don’t even know if I’m inside the box. An outside observer can tell me I am here, but that requires opening the box, and even then, they’re Schroedinger’s cat too! How would they know that I’m really here, when objective sight is a myth? We see a leaf, you say it’s yellow, I say it’s green, we’re both right and wrong. 

Fuck! Shit ! Fuck, Shit, Balls and Damn! 

My screws are loose and I only have one screwdriver. Turning one screw makes another come loose. In the words of CAKE, you turn the screws, you tear down the bridge... flimsy as it is, it’s businesslike. 

It’s all business, if business is politics, and the political is personal, and the personal is the self, and the self is impersonal, and the impersonal is business...

I’m Van Gogh, I’m Da Vinci, I’m absolutely batshit and ahead of my time and so far behind too. I’ll eat the yellow paint, it’s a happy colour, fuck it. I’ll devise a contraption for man to break the rule of history and fly like a bird.

Post-war society? Shit, it’s possible, there was a time where humankind could only imagine taking flight. Now we do it every day, in metal contraptions that look like dolphins. 

It’s a matter of course. It’s energy too. E=mc^2. I’m travelling at the speed of light, I’m gonna make a supersonic man out of you. 

I’d ask for help but it seems like I bewilder just about everyone I express these things to. 

Best way to deal with a paradox? Don’t consider the paradox! But isn’t that not dealing with the paradox? Is it both, or neither?

Fuck, shit, balls. Damn and hell. Because. Why? Why not. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

[ctl-yuejie]

all of @howdydowdy‘s most loveliest tags for my fanfic, you are so wonderful i don’t know how i deserved the good luck to find you ;A;

1. #OH MY GOD!!!!!!!#it's here!! i'm gonna lose my whole entire mind!!!!!#well i hope everybody's ready for me to scream about every single installment as it comes out because this is the most important thing now#i didn't even know turnip!ah yuan was gonna be in it THIS IS THE BEST SURPRISE!!!!!#i feel so honored that my tags had anything to do with inspiring this incredible au but this is absolutely so much better#even in this short installment i'm getting such a good feel for the three characters who have made an appearance so far!#excited to see your lwj!!!#'the only thing his viewers enjoyed more than his content were the occasional take-downs Wen Qing was dishing out in the comment section'#ahahaha you are so funny#PLEASE EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS AMAZING FIC! I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT!!!!#i don't know all the things that are gonna happen but i have a general idea and guys it's such a good au#op is so creative and brilliant!!!#the untamed#ah yuan and his two dads will be the death of me#fic#these are a few of my favorite things

2. #second! installment!! time!!!#i feel like i'm a reader in dickensian london waiting for the new chapter to come out in the magazine#except there's less pollution and i don't have to put coal in an oven#why are those my associations with dickensian london? idk don't worry about it#jiang cheng makes an appearance! okay so i have never really understood him but i've been reading a LOT of fic#and i'm starting to get the picture i think#this is like...just the right amount ominous to get me super excited to see what happens next#WYD JC????#also wwx's characterization is just *chef's kiss*#<3 <3 <3 love u op you're too good to me#puns

3. #ohhhh shit everybody lwj is here! things are happening!!!!#i love all the sibling feels lxc gives me always#in every single fic i read he's like 'lwj i found another boy your age please be friends with him i love you so much'#oOoOoO the shoot will be four whole days i wonder what can happen in four days you guys...#like maybe...mister stoic guqin falling in love with disaster farmer man????#STAY TUNED#you know what just occurred to me is that lwj needs an emotion translator#i'm thinking like luther the anger translator for obama in those key & peele sketches#except it's just someone interpreting all of lwj's stoic faces#i mean lxc can read his faces so you'd think he could do it but idk if lxc himself is emotive enough#i'll have to think about it more

4. #this fic is the gift that keeps on giving#slowly introducing new characters...now we're meeting my sweet baby wen ning...i don't deserve this happiness...#also wei wuxian's carefree chaotic energy is just to die for#and what's this? jiang cheng appears on the horizon? narrowing his eyes at a tumbleweed that rolls across his path#his spurs jingling menacingly as he stalks ever closer?#hold on to yer hats cowboys i smell some Plot approaching#the untamed#fic#(okay also 'explosive arts & crafts projects' ahaha you are the best at these descriptions)

5. #oooooooo things are really coming together my dudes...#more jiang cheng content! okay he is really growing on me. grouch with a heart of gold. huge schemer. just wants to make fun of his BIL with#his brother but feels like he has to prioritize his ~responsibilities~#he loves wwx and understands what motivates him and at the same time just wants him to like. chill#the air quotes ahaha#that wwx makes them and that jc hates it#also i think my favorite image from this is the fact that one of the draws of the tv show is that all the cultivator hosts are handsome#which means that when lxc needed someone to cover for him he just went to the producers like#'no worries my little brother is also super hot so he should meet all your requirements'#'is he personable? no. does he speak in complete sentences? also no. but are the viewers gonna go batshit over his face? absofuckinlutely'#and the producers were like 'oh yeah dude say no more'#this is so fun i'm really enjoying these updates!!!

6. #not the city centre itself but a nearby mound#which sounds unusual and ominous#honey you got a big storm comin'#lwj is getting there early...oh fuck the suspense...#also 'either this is just how show business works or no one really knows what they are doing' why not both lwj??#ahaha i am cackling and steepling my fingers imagining how this is all gonna go down#babe i'm glad you decided not to give me spoilers because it is so fun watching things unfold

7. #i'm just imagining the perspective of the film crew showing up and it's a barren wasteland#they're like...wtf kind of establishing shots are we supposed to take of this??#don't worry guys the cutest child on the planet lives here. just get some footage of him frolicking in the turnip fields#the audience will lose their effing minds

8. #i love jc's logic like 'no one can find out about this or it'll be bad for the family. how to accomplish this? better get a film crew'#also i love how he's lowkey bitter that no one wants to interview him AHAHA jc you peach#and he's like 'maybe i'll watch the show. JUST TO MAKE FUN OF WWX FOR NO OTHER REASON'#wow i'm like becoming really fond of this character op!!!

9. #AHAHA love this image of lwj staring after nhs as he traipses down the street#'fancy birds? tf kinda innuendo is that??'#also lwj deciding to wear all white so that people won't approach him ahaha damn where is my equivalent outfit??#MATCHMAKER LXC STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!#did lxc even have to go out of town for real or was it all a setup to get lwj and wwx in the same place??#wouldn't put it past him tbh#lwj is so perfectly taciturn here i love it#and not just because he's not personable or something it's because he's having FEELINGS#also because wwx never shuts up lol#'he is doomed just like before because even this unknown wei wuxian he wants to be close to and find out who he is'#ughughguhgghhghhh how are you finding and pushing all my buttons???#hot DAMN i am HERE for this!!!

10. #i've now read this three times and i love it more every time!#you have such a way with words and i love how you're getting into wwx's head#it can be hard to relate to him with how dense he can be but you make it all seem incredibly plausible and realistic!!#i love him like 'wonder what it would be like to share a hotel room. it's totally normal that i'm thinking about this'#and like. you show how he got there in his thought process and it makes total sense!#also: lwj as eye candy YES EXACTLY#nhs is the perfect choice for a tv interior designer expert. that is SO what he would be doing in a universe with tv about interior design#okay and MOST IMPORTANTLY we have come to the part in the gifset!! this is the best crack that ever caught feels omg ilysm#demonic blood pool WEI YIIIIIIIING#wen ning being all yeah goth guys and blood pools two great tastes that taste great together#i love everything about this and it was so worth the wait. very excited for the next installment!!!

11. #you are LITCHRALLY killing me with this sharp characterization!! how are you nailing all their voices!!!!#nhs just in it for the hashtag drama that's so spot on omg. breaking all the rules HE wrote just so he can torture jc#all 'are you seeing this??? ARE YOU??' poor nhs and jc having to watch these two lovesick fools make googly eyes at each other#for YEARS and not REALIZE it well it's your lucky day mr. fan man because soon the whole world will see this UST and validate you#okay but what i love the most is jc the masochist being so uncomfortable he has to keep turning off the video ahahahaha#wangxian out here romancing so hard that jc needs a barf bag. or therapy. or selective amnesia.#you ever get secondhand mortifying ordeal of being known? that's what's happening for jc here#it's mortifying watching other people experience the ordeal of being known. this is the hardest i have ever related to jc#it's like oh fuck. lwj loves wwx and it's so obvious. oh my god. i'm so embarrassed.#wwx is so gone for lwj and it's right there on his face for anyone to read. i'm in agony.#ALSO 'jiang cheng can feel his head get hot and he drops the phone on the table like it personally betrayed him' THANK U FOR THIS#everything about this is the best and my favorite#ahhh i'm so excited for the next chapters and so glad they're already up so i can read them right now!!!!

12. #lxc shooting lwj pointed looks every time the jiang sect comes up in conversation for the past 13 years!!!!! he would!!!!!!#i love the way you describe wwx through lwj's eyes. the love just shines through#also you are so insightful about his character but what else is new??? you're the character breakdown QUEEN#OH MY GOD AH YUAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111#i am writing these tags as i read or that would have been the first tag it's SO important#i mean my tag isn't important it's incoherent but AH YUAN IS IMPORTANT!!!!!#you really want me to die. you really want me to be all the way murdered.#this image of lwj just standing there with impeccable posture one arm behind his back the other holding a sword in the air randomly#with this squirmy lil bab clutching at his clothes and reaching up on his tiptoes#okay dang i didn't know there was gonna be action! intrigue!! an ambush!!!#this fic really has it all#bamf!wwx and rescuer!lwj#battle couple ftw#NOT TO MENTION DRUNK!LWJ!!! SELF SACRIFICING!LWJ!!!!!#how am i supposed to live knowing lwj Did That#ughghughghgughgh#'at least i made him happy.' at least you made him happy???!?!?!?#just let me live for a second!!!#just one second though then i'm gonna read the next chapter

13. #awwww jiang 'I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU I'VE JUST BEEN CUTTING ONIONS' cheng gets a tear in his eye#they are...a fambly.....#my man lxc coming thru for the people!! title of my upcoming inspirational children's book: Lan Xichen Takes a Stand#op you made me love jiang cheng. i'm in it now

14. #omg i forgot that you had written this and sent it to me weeks ago so when i read it just now i was like...obviously that's what happened???#i had already just fully incorporated it into my understanding of these characters in my head and forgotten how it got there#so this was the BEST surprise#i can't believe you. putting ah yuan and bunnies in the same chapter because you love drowning me in cute#soft domestic adoptive dad content???? ugh i literally need to lie down and go into a coma.#just a lil coma. to recharge my feels.#i don't know what you could possibly be putting in the 'extra' but i am. vibrating with excitement!!!!#this is one of my favorite fics ever and i'm forever happy that you came up with this amazing idea and executed it so well#I APPRECIATE AND ADORE YOU!!!#HEART EYES EMOJI#these are a few of my favorite things#the untamed#ah yuan and his two dads will be the death of me

15. #OH MY GOD NHS MASTERMINDED ALL OF IT#this is so perfect i'm in awe!!!!#of course he did!!!!#also 'he had been very invested in this romance he had even painted themed fans for this' ahahaha#these schemes! these machinations!! he got lxc out of the way! he put the idea in jc's head! ahhhhh!#mr. fan man

[just-jordie-things]

well.

i saw infinity wars. and here’s what i have to say/my observations.

***SPOILERS BELOW***

silent opening for marvel studios gave me goosebumps

seriously, loki had to die in the first fucking 30 seconds of the film?

wong only has like... two dollars in his name

same dude lmao

tony wants to be a dad !!!

dr strange and tony banter omg i ship it really hard man

ned’s idea of ‘distracting’ is being ned lmaooo

i squealed when i saw peter again *coughs*

bruce kicking the chopped of hand lmao poor guy couldn’t hulk out

sidenote: when he realizes the hulk isn’t coming, they all literally act like he can’t ‘perform’ anymore lmao

gamora and starlord are finally a thing!!! 

and drax just standing there for an hour, likely waiting to see something happen between them like the rest of us

quill being all jealous of thor ahahahaha

teen groot is me on my phone tbh

mantis is so cute also, jumping all over the planet with a weird gravitational pull

“who’s your master?”

“what am i supposed to say jesus?”

“you’re from earth”

“no i’m from missouri”

WANDA AND VISION BEING SO SOFT

omg they love each other so much it makes me so happy

and neither of them can- handle the other getting hurt

steve’s back and hotter than ever

also natasha

and sam

AND WHERE THE FUCK IS SCOTT AND CLINT? AJFIUHEIBANOIH

i really wanted a ‘spiderman and ant man’ dispute tho

really? sacrificing the only person you’ve every loved? and you throw her? over? a? cliff? oof.

if quill hadn’t punched thanos while mantis was making him sleep, the fighting wouldn’t have broke out

don’t hate me, just saying

ahhh i love wakanda

SHURI!! MY BBY

bucky! “white wolf’ omg

rocket’s gonna steal his arm tho yikes

WANDA HURTING THE ONE PERSON SHE HAS LEFT

“YOU COULD NEVER HURT ME”

and then it didn’t even matter, as thanos brought him back only to kill him, and she officially lost anyone who ever truly loved her

i cried for her omg

dr strange is daddy af like wow

and then he multiplied and i was like ‘woah too many daddies where do i look’

and the fuckinG DUST SHIT

NONONONONONO

AS SOON AS I THOUGHT PETER WAS SAFE

ONE OF THE ONLY ONES I NEEDED SAFE

I CRIED SO HARD HE DIDN’T WANNA DIE

AND TONY HELD HIM I FUCKING SOBBED

HE WASN’T READY TO DIE

MY BABY WASNT OKAY

captain marvel !!

alright so here’s my theory.

i don’t think anyone’s dead.  i think this is the “one win” that stephen foresaw, and this was the only way, but they’ll come back.  mostly bc tom and zoe have been signed for sequels and stuff.

but i still cried and am still sad, but i’m trying to have the hope that we’ll see them again

[taeswrrld]

if breena and i met bts pt3

———

‘fuck.’ said namjoon, realizing what a predicament they were in.

‘bro yall are worrying for nothing,’ said jungkook, tossing back another shot, ‘we can literally uber back. DUH.’

breena slapped her hand on her forehead, ‘dawg why didnt i think of that?’

‘because youre dumb HAHAHAHHA,’ said julia, doing a love-shot with hobi.

‘shut your bitchass up.’

‘breena, i have a question,’ jungkook said, looking at her.

‘which is...?’ she replied.

‘whats your cup size?’

namjoon spit out his drink.

‘my what now.’ said breena, crossing her arms.

‘bro you heard me,’ jungkook smiled.

‘its a double d.’ breena said nonchalantly.

‘FUCKING KNEW IT, JIMIN YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS,’ jungkook yelled, holding his hand out.

‘you guys BET on my best friends cup size?’ julia asked, surprised.

‘we sure did, JIMIN WHERE IS MY MONEY?’

jimin begrudgingly slid 20 bucks across the table.

‘YEAHHHHH,’ exclaimed jungkook.

breena sighed, rubbing her temples.

‘i said it once and ill say it again,’ yoongi scoffed, ‘you guys are gross.’

‘man, im disappointed but not surprised.’ taehyung said, shaking his head.

julia glared at jimin and jungkook, and breena patted her back signaling that it was okay.

‘so, is julia like your guard dog or something?’ jimin asked, sipping his soju.

‘no, but if you keep being a prick i might let her kick your ass, park jimin.’ breena replied. jimin held his hands up in defense.

‘how much soju is left?’ namjoon asked, sighing.

‘like a whole other bottle,’ taehyung giggled.

‘pass that shit over here. hobi, wanna do another love shot?’ julia asked.

‘fuck yeah, what kind of question even is that?’

jungkook scooted next to breena.

‘hey do you wanna do one of those?’ he asked.

‘... sure jungkook.’

————-

its only been a little over an hour and everyone is shitfaced.

‘BREENA!! OH MY GOD GET DOWN FROM THERE AHAHAHAHA,’ namjoon yelled, half laughing.

breena was currently dancing on the table while julia blasted kpop through the speaker on her phone.

‘WOOP WOOP, GET INTO ITTTT,’ jimin yelled, hopping up on the table with her.

‘hey julia, put on fancy by twice!’ taehyung requested, also getting on the table.

‘I FUCKING GOTCHU BROOOO,’ julia quickly put it on.

the rest of the group watched in awe as the three of them did the choreography to this cutesy song, wooping and cheering them on.

the song ended and breena hopped off the table and fell, quickly getting up and giggling.

‘get your ass up there julia,’ she said.

julia laughed and stumbled her way up onto the table. breena put on adult ceremony.

‘OH SHIT BRO,’ julia yelled, doing the choreo.

‘GET IT YEAHH,’ yelled jin, clapping.

‘WOOOOP WOOOP,’ namjoon cheered, shuffling.

‘JUNGKOOK GET YOUR ASS UP THERE TOO,’ yelled yoongi, shoving him.

jungkook stumbled up onto the table, dancing with julia.

‘WOOP WOOP,’ said breena, moving along with the beat.

the song ended, and jungkook picked julia up and clambered off the table.

‘HEY AHAHAHAHA put me down!!’ julia giggled.

jungkook put her down, and then gasped like he had the best idea in the world.

‘guys. i know its like... barely 1:30 right now... but we need to hit a club. i need to dance freely,’ he said.

‘dude...’ breena gasped, ‘thats the best idea ive ever HEARD.’

————

they found a club.

and oh boy.

the clubgoers there should have said their prayers.

‘JULIA HAHAHAHAHA,’ breena laughed, watching julia grind on jimin.

‘PLEASE DIDNT THEY HATE EACH OTHER LIKE TEN SECONDS AGO??’ yelled yoongi.

‘YEAH, BUT OH WELL,’ namjoon yelled back.

while jimin and julia did whatever the fuck they were doing, jungkook grabbed onto breena and made her dance with him.

‘damn girl, you got some moves,’ exclaimed jungkook, putting one hand on her hip.

‘yeah. i know. thats why your company hired me,’ breena said, rolling her eyes. she put one hand on his shoulder, swaying her hips.

namjoon and taehyung were dancing together, albeit terribly because they were drunk.

hoseok and yoongi were slow dancing to the song playing, which honestly... wasnt a song people slow dance too.

‘NOW FROM THE TOP, MAKE IT DROP, THATS A WAP,, THATS A WAP,,’ the speakers blared, breena and julia singing along.

jin slut dropped, and started doing the literal choreo for wap.

‘YUH GET INTO IT,’ julia yelled, still dancing with jimin.

breena left jungkook just to join jin, both of them doing the splits and twerking on the ground.

‘BREENA AHAHAHAHHAHA,’ namjoon laughed, holding onto his stomach.

‘guys??? i think, im gonna, hurl.’ taehyung said.

that was the only warning they got before taehyung puked all over the floor.

they got kicked out.

—————

it was dark out already.

they waited outside for the uber, julia rubbing soft circles into taehyungs back, doing her best to comfort him.

‘HAHAHA I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT,’ yoongi laughed, hands on his knees.

‘shut up bro hes already embarrassed,’ breena scolded, gently tousling taehyungs hair.

hobi laughed to himself the quietest he could.

namjoon sighed, still drunk.

‘i told you this was *hic* a bad idea bro.’

‘yeah, well. i KNOW THAT NOW.’ taehyung yelled, curling into a ball.

julia sighed and played with his hair.

———-

the uber arrived around 10 minutes after that conversation, and swiftly dropped them off at hybe.

‘god i dont feel good,’ said julia, rubbing her temples.

‘you guys should crash with us,’ said jin, ‘we can make sure you wont get hurt. or die.’

‘youre sweet, jin,’ breena said somewhat sarcastically.

————

julia ended up crashing in jimins room, while breena went to yoongis.

‘yoongi,’ breena said.

‘what?’

‘are you still awake?’

‘i literally JUST answered you.’

‘oh yeah,’ breena giggled.

‘what do you need, white girl.’

‘i was wondering if you have an extra blanket,’ she said, ‘im freezing my tits off.’

yoongi chuckled, and tossed a blanket over to her.

‘now go to fucking sleep.’

and that she did.

—————

jimin was currently sucking fat hickeys onto julias neck, and she was loving every second of it.

‘that feel good or what, tiny?’

‘feels great, jimin,’ julia gasped.

‘oh fuck,’ she said suddenly.

‘what? what is it?’ jimin asked worriedly.

‘...im gonna vomit.’ she ran to the bathroom.

‘so much for getting laid.’ jimin sighed, running to go check on her.

———

jimin is a whore. thats all i have to say.

[yang-squared]

super soft bias tag

high key stole this from @nctexto !!!

biases, that would be fun!

❀ 1. Who’s my bias?

I have many, but Huang Renjun from NCT because we don’t speak of the one who is wrecking me hardcore.

❀ 2. What made you notice him/her?

The fact he had a snaggletooth and was still giving it his all, the way he covered his mouth and still does sometimes when smiling, and his more smooth dance compared to SM knife dancing most artists have—he’s always stood out since debut and when I found out he’s Korean but raised in China and stuff it just felt more relatable. I’d go into details bUT

❀ 3. What’s your favorite thing about him?

There is so much I could say as “favorite,” but it’s probably the fact he’s taking care of the Dreamies (especially Chenle!) and hides it under the teasing guise. He cares about the boys so much, and it shows where some groups it seems forced and fake.

❀ 4. Who would initiate skin ship more?

Not sure, but probably me? I can’t see Renjun being too big into skin ship except sneaky little things like grabbing hands under the table and stuff—in which case, he’d initiate. I’m kinda clingy with everyone lmao

❀ 5. Who would hog the blankets more?

I’m the OG NANA bc i love things warmer than most ppl bc im freezing so i’d be buried in them

❀ 6. Who would be more clingy?

Yikes me

❀ 7. Who would say i love you first?

Lowkey I say it a LOT to my friends but in relationships I’ve never really felt love so maybe Renjun ?? I feel like it’d be more of an offhand comment than an actual big confession type thing or just him doing something small that I appreciate to say I love you instead of actually saying it if that makes sense.

❀ 8. Who would be easily flustered?

Does Renjun know the word flustered he isn’t Jeno so i feel like he’d make an art joke “i’ll paint u like a french girl” and i would turn sO RED

❀ 9. What cuddling position would you two have?

I feel like it’d be facing each other under blankets, hands interlocked as we tell each other about our days and stuff. I feel like Renjun is the kind to also bury his face in someone’s neck/hair so he could do that and idk how to exPLAIN THIS I CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY BUT

❀ 10. What colors remind you of him?

A lot of people say yellow and I kind of agree, but Renjun will always remind me the color indigo. He not only looks good in it, but his phone case is indigo and idk i can see his art snob side “it’s indigo nOT blue or purple gOD” and i also love that color and i saw his phone case and screamed bc i almost got the same one like a week before??

❀ 11. Which season would you like to spend with them?

All! Lmao but if I had to choose, maybe spring? I feel like our inner artsy side would scream and we’d wanna take cute pictures of “nature” but it’s rly of each other and just the chilly breezes walking along a river ?? soft.

❀ 12. Who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter?

Ahahahaha I love baking and I think it’d be wonderful but somehow Chenle and prolly Jisung would hear and be stealing the batter and Renjun smacking them around like usual i just wanna be best friends with nct dream?

❀ 13. Which one would make bad puns and how would the other react?

high key i would be makin bad puns esp in mandarin for his sake when i learn new things and he’d prolly roll his eyes a LOT and put me in the classic renjun chokehold but he would *clenches fists* appreicate them deep down

❀ 14. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

i’d convince jeno to adopt 50 cats with me and chenle 50 dogs and just all the animals and be like “ok but u can’t be mad @ them so technically it was them who adopted them not me” and skskskd

❀ 15. Which one of you would nearly burn the kitchen down microwaving a poptart and who would come to the rescue?

Renjun seems like he knows what he’s doing in the kitchen but lowkey my scatterbrained self would forget smth important and he’d just “why are we together again”

❀ 16. Who likes to lean on trail railings and who pulls them back?

Both of us we’d need to be supervised by mama kun :”) but i can see him trying to get a closer look at something and me panic and grab his shirt and “reNJUN ILY UR GONNA DIE COME BACK HERE” mom mode: activated

❀ 17. What would watching a horror movie with them be like?

Idk i think we’d do a big 00 line or china line or dream+yuckhei ofc horror movie night and like everyone would be screamin even if we love them bc renjun would purposefully fuck with stuff to freak everyone out

❀ 18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

I highkey would be so cheesy and i think renjun would be rly smooth abt it (he’s friends with nana ok) and like just have that one cocky smile that’s so cute and

❀ 19. Who would be more competitive?

Renjun tries but he always loses

❀ 20. Who would have to be given reminders? (To eat, sleep, drink water, etc)

Renjun would deadass send me texts when we’re in the room together to remember stuff and i can see him writing cute lil notes on things in mandarin as i learn it and ?? ok soft

❀ 21. Who would send memes and who would send “i miss u” messages at 3am?

i think we’d both send memes at 3am that start off rly funny (prolly of the members or him) and turn into cute soft lil memes and we’d both say it at some point and video call if possible or he’d just troll me and be like “lmao sIKE i don’t have feelings” to be That Boy

[sassysavagesanha]

Another tag, wow

Tagged by ahahaha I forgot to delete the previous tagged by so tagged by @parkminhyuk

Rules: answer the questions, then tag bloggers that you want to get to know better!

Nicknames: Val, Val-pal (I hate this one), Little Red, Strawberry Blondie

Height: 5′9″~5′10″ somewhere around there

Birthday: who can guess?~ or remember, if you knew :3

Star sign: Libra

Orientation: Bi

Favorite fruit: blackberries, cherries, or kiwi

Favorite season: Autumn

Favorite flower: Rn I’m feeling cherry blossoms but it changes regularly

Favorite scent: earthy scents like new books or cinnamon 

Favorite color: blue

Favorite animal: OWLS spend a minute in my room and it’s very obvious 

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: tea or hot chocolate depending on my mood Average sleep hours: 6? I think?

Dog or cat person: definitely cats

Favorite fictional character: That’s like asking me to pick my favorite child. Don’t.

Luck numbers: 13

Hobbies: Reading, writing, cross stitch, painting, watching anime or keeping up with the ten million groups I stan

What I’m wearing rn: sweat pants and a t-shirt

Dream job: ahahahaha that implies I know what I want to do with my life

Favorite food: my grandpa’s homemade chicken noodle soup 

Dream trip: European tour

Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 sometimes 2 and up to 4 in the winter bc my room gets really cold

Favorite bands: Like kpop or nah? I just did a whole post about my kpop preferences so I’ll go with nah. I like Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, and Of Monsters and Men

Favorite solo artist in kpop: I don’t really follow any solo artists so I’ll go with K.will bc I like his stuff

Song stuck in my head: The fucking ticky tacky song bc of the APUSH test

Last movie i watched: Avengers: Infinity War (I’m gonna go see it again this weekend and die)

Blog created: Ummm I think it was sometime in December?

Number of followers: 710

I post: Lol I don’t Just kidding I’ve just been kinda MIA lately. Mostly I reblog mainly astro but I’ve been known to make memes for other groups 

Why did I choose my url: sanha is boht sassy and savage also alliteration 

Random fact: I have a really extreme hitchhiker's thumb, like my thumb can bend backward a solid 90 degrees

Rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

Freely - Day6

Black Suit - Super Junior

Not Today - BTS

Pretty U - Seventeen

Bboom Bboom - Momoland

Mr. Simple - Super Junior

Don’t Wanna Cry - Seventeen

I Need U - BTS

Damdadi - Golden Child

Halley - Seven O’clock

Tbh that is a very weird mix for me but oh well

 @mingews @binubinme @vonseal @snibnoom @buffbin @jinjinxed @joo-heonie @astrongloveforeunwoo @jinwoostro

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 2X20 What Is and What Should Be

Ok well...bad decision time, but I wanna watch this

right before the season finale, oh boy is this gonna be fun

ok the diagetic rock music+teamwork+cop car? good ok I like that

the djinn...oh no

wait lmao Sam has a hair tie? that’s kinda fun detail

ooo the shadowy figure walking behind him is a nice effect

ah yes and it caught him

that was a GOOD cold open damn

I do like how Sam acted a bit the same, so Dean couldn't tell at first

Aw, Sam got to be a lawyer

at least he...still has the car

AW HIS MOM

“angels were watching over you” OH M Y G O D

motherfucker I’m tearing up this hurts me

his voice is like....just a bit fucked up while he says that ofah;sodi

“died of a stroke” “That’s great” bitch what the fuck, buddy

the little baby photos are...definitely old them, it’s so cute

“you...make learning fun” D E A N

He’s still working the caseeee

“you never said it out loud” OH? wait this is a bit of moral ambiguity

Everyone keeps asking if he’s been drinking, wow

Aw he gets a sandwich

the way “work” didn’t compute for him, AT ALL

this man’s dream is...normal life....I hate this show why did they kill him

ok that was a good song choice, and a good intro

Yes, on the nose, I don’t CARE

AY JESSICA

aw he just runs up and hugs them!

AWW IT’S MARY’S BIRTHDAY

AND SAM AND JESS ARE ENGAGED!

It’s GREAT that we have Normal People Everywhere, and then Dean, who’s seen a lot of these people die, or get hurt 

nooo him and Sam aren’t friends :(

“we don’t have anything in common” is gonna give him complexes isn’t it

second chance asdfoha;dofi

HE SEES THE FLIGHT THEY STOPPED! HE DIDN’T STOP IT IN THIS UNIVERSE

AND THE GHOST LADY SHOWS UP AFTER HE RESEARCHES THE OTHERS

TORMENTED BY GRUESOME VISIONS!! YES THE GOOD SHIT

“your happiness or all those people’s lives, no contest”

oh my god he’s actually like...examining it !!!

it’s like he stopped himself from saying “it’s not fair”, like John had a thing about that phrase ... ?

Dean if you break into your brother’s house

like I get the parallel(specially during a plot episode) but AHAHAAH

OF COURSE HE’S NOT DOWN TO FIGHT

he plays the “screw up” card aaahhhh

SAM COMES WITH

“you’re still my brother” awww

“You’re supposed to say jerk” HAAHAH

Dean the Occultist and Sam the Lawyer is juST SO FUNNY

THROWS HIS PHONE!! AHAHAHAHA

THE FUCKING MUSIC

“well, we’re not in kansas anymore” how long has he waited to say that

also, he bringS BACK UP THIS TIME!!

THE VISIONS!

ah the Jinn’s a perv that drinks human blood to sustain itself, great

This man is SO willing to kill himselfJESUS 

“it’s still better than anything you had” but it’s not real oh mY GOD

“haven’t we done enough” oh no no noOOO

And he repeats that! He repeats it later! in like 15 years but still! 

wow this is the Most Show to exist damn

THE SMASHCUT! YES WE LOVE THAT

SAME POSITION AS DEAN! THAT’S HOW HE GOT SAM TOO

BUT THEY HAVE BACKUP THIS TIME

THEY SAVE THE GIRL!

THE ONE TEAR TRACK!

Carmen was a girl in the magazine, agh

“I’m glad we do” AW SaM!

He gets to see the amount of sacrifice and loss they’ve lived

ah there’s the “not fair”

and we end with a lingering, and sincere shot of Dean, who knows what he’s thinking.

Wrap up!

1. Cinema stuff was fun! they fucked with the filter enough so the happy scenes felt Very happy, the sad scenes were incredibly stylized, all together, just good cinematography

2. Dean going on his own solo episode, and what could have been, was just. Damn it was heart wrenching. Like in some respects he’s a tragedy, and in others he’s a macho manly ideal, and those two clashing is just. So Good

3. This episode gave me a lot of feels man. Like it was an extended what if, but it was realistic. Dean was kinda the ~screw up of the family(everyone asked him if he was drinking, EVERYONE) and he didn’t get along with his brother, but like...he also had everyone alive. It was Such a heartbreaking episode for him jesus

4. Also Dean the Occultist with Sam the lawyer SOUNDS buddy comedy style, I just have no idea what exactly I’m thinking about. Like if Dean ended up being in the occult here too, I could see it, and it would be WILD! I want that spin off, damn

ok until tmr, series finale!

[6-v-6]

1-100. Just give it to me all

ALNLSNGLSG ARE YOU SERIOUS OMFG im so sorry this is going to be Long

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I’ll say Pandora just because it’s the only one I’ve actually ever used. If I used Spotify I’d probably like it the most but I don’t use those apps so

2. is your room messy or clean?VERY VERY MESSY I need to clean it but im lazy

3. what color are your eyes?Brown!

4. do you like your name? why?My birth name? No. And that’s why I changed it ahahahaha yes I like the name Jae since i chose it myself. It’s short and simple

5. what is your relationship status?Single 

6. describe your personality in 3 words or lessContradictory ....... Situational 

7. what color hair do you have?Currently it’s blue c: Natural color is a lightish brown

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?I don’t have a car nor a license :/ I want a motorbike tho ! a black one

9. where do you shop?I shop pretty much exclusively online. Buyma or Amazon, typically

10. how would you describe your style?I’ve been told that I dress like a “bad boy”. I like leather and black and ripped skinny jeans but I do like casual stuff too. Like hoodies and sweats

11. favorite social media accountIf this is talking about my own social media accounts, then this one right here on tumblr. I’m not very active anywhere else

12. what size bed do you have?uuuuhhhh I don’t know proper terminology but it is small

13. any siblings?Yup! I have an older sister and a younger brother

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Japan probably? It’s super pretty and I’ve always wanted to visit

15. favorite snapchat filter?hmm I don’t use snapchat that much but probably the flower crown one it’s cute

16. favorite makeup brand(s)I don’t wear makeup tbh so i dunnooooo 

17. how many times a week do you shower?7 I don’t ever skip showering 

18. favorite tv show?Psych? I also like the 100 currently

19. shoe size?asglnasg... god .... im a 6 in mens nd like a 7 in womens i have small feet

20. how tall are you?ALNSLGNSG im trusting no one has read this far so it’s okay to disclose this info...exposin myself.. im 5′2″ ............

21. sandals or sneakers?Sneakers !! I don’t wear sandals like ever

22. do you go to the gym?Yes! Only recently, actually! I just bought a gym membership with my friend and we’ve been going 3 times a week c:

23. describe your dream dateoh geez I havent really thought about this? I’m not very romantic or anything (im on the ace spectrum) but... i dunno. I think it’d be nice to just have fun together. An amusement park maybe? And just a lot of hand holding and smiles

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Upwards of 100 bcuz my mom keeps giving me money even tho i dont use it

25. what color socks are you wearing?HAH im not wearing any 

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?1-2 it depends on the night

27. do you have a job? what do you do?I work at the cafeteria in my school. I run the register and help to stock items and also serve food to people

28. how many friends do you have?wow this is a Tragic question. Online I have quite a few! In person i literally have....... 2. Barely that lol. More like one

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?Killed my sister’s fish (on accident)

30. whats your favorite candle scent?I’ve never thought about this or really smelled many candles to begin with :( something mild though. Maybe a mild vanilla??

31. 3 favorite boy namesuuhghg 1) Cain 2) Luka 3) Eden

32. 3 favorite girl names1) Erin 2) Rayna 3) Kira

33. favorite actor?I rly dont give a crap about actors if I’m being honest lmao. Uhh choi minho :)

34. favorite actress?Lupita Nyong’o?? she’s gorgeous

35. who is your celebrity crush?I don’t have a crush on him but does Lee Taemin count

36. favorite movie?Princess Mononoke

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?I read ff more than books these days. I don’t have a fav book

38. money or brains?is this what I prefer? Money binch if I had money I wouldn’t need brains also I’m dumb anyways 

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?No I do not

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?Twice? Maybe 3 times

41. top 10 favorite songscheck out shinee’s entire discography 

42. do you take any medications daily?Nope

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)i ?? have no idea?? I guess oily? My skin doesn’t get dry so

44. what is your biggest fear?Probably flying. I hate planes

45. how many kids do you want?Exactly none

46. whats your go to hair style?? uh side-swept? I have no idea what to call it just what my hair normally looks like I guess

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)A moderately sized house

48. who is your role model?Not to be cheesy but Lee Taemin also Kim Kibum also Choi Minho also Kim Jonghyun also Lee Jinki

49. what was the last compliment you received?that I’m great? lol

50. what was the last text you sent?’okay’ to my mom lmao

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?ARE YOU TELLING ME SANTA ISNT REAL??? okay but for real who remembers the age they find out omg .. i was Young so idk maybe like 13

52. what is your dream car?ohhh boy a lambo for sure

53. opinion on smoking?Gross. Smells terrible

54. do you go to college?I do indeed. I’m gonna be a senior ya’ll

55. what is your dream job?To be a writer I guess. I don’t really have a dream job

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?Suburbs? I dunno. I like living in the city I’d probably die of boredom in some rural area

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?hell yea binch

58. do you have freckles?nope!

59. do you smile for pictures?Not for selfies but for other pictures yes I feel like it’s weird or rude not to

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?like 300 something

61. have you ever peed in the woods?what the fuck?? lol?? no??

62. do you still watch cartoons?does voltron count :/

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?neither if I’m being honest but Wendy’s I guess. I never ever eat at mcdonalds

64. Favorite dipping sauce?barbeque sauce?

65. what do you wear to bed?An oversized shirt and boxers lol

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?no i cant say I have

67. what are your hobbies?Writing, sometimes. Playing video games. Bein unhealthy

68. can you draw?Naaaah

69. do you play an instrument?No :( I wish I did but I never learned any

70. what was the last concert you saw?SHINEE WORLD V IN LA!!!!!!!!! BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

71. tea or coffee?Coffee bcuz i h8 tea

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?Well the coffee at dunkin donuts is worlds better so dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?no

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?i dont have a crush

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?’when’ lol i dont plan to get married

76. what color looks best on you?black, in my opinion

77. do you miss anyone right now?no not really

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?open because if it’s closed my cat will scratch on it incessantly until she’s let in

79. do you believe in ghosts?hell yeah dude

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?when people like, dance around a subject. I prefer it when people are straightforward. Especially if they want something from me

81. last person you called`Honest to god I can’t remember. I don’t ever call people lmao so probably my mom

82. favorite ice cream flavor?I like Rocky Road a lot!

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?regular. Golden oreos are a lesser creation

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?RAINBOW. GIMME DAT GAY SHIT

85. what shirt are you wearing?It’s just a plain white t-shirt

86. what is your phone background?ot5

87. are you outgoing or shy?Horribly, annoyingly shy although I can mask it pretty well

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?yes :D

89. do you like your neighbors?lmao I don’t know them?? They arent noisy though so yes I like them since they aren’t annoying or anything

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Both. I take a shower in the morning and wash it then. And then do a skincare routine at night

91. have you ever been high?no.... not that I know of. One time I took nyquil though and it Fucked Me Up i felt high but idk if I was or if that’s even possible

92. have you ever been drunk?nope. I’m not a huge fan of the idea of getting drunk. I don’t like letting my guard down like that so if I ever do it’ll be when I’m alone

93. last thing you ate?a mento 

94. favorite lyrics right nowthe entire lyrics to So Far Away by yoongi

95. summer or winter?WINTER. I hate summer fashion i like being able to wear my jackets and jeans and not Die of heat stroke

96. day or night?night I guess just bcuz I can be alone

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?dark chocolate is superior in every way

98. favorite month?uhm.. December? Because its the end of the year and I’m on break then and Christmas and cold weather and hot chocolate

99. what is your zodiac signI’m a virgo 

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?uhhhHHHH I really make it a Goal to never cry in front of people since im just super uncomfortable with that and honestly dont feel comfortable enough around anyone to do that. My sister walked in on me when I was crying once though so her I guess

[ranty9000]

A chronicle of me watching the film "white chicks"

okay so It started with two black fbi agents disguised as racist Mexican stereotypes. They failed a bust regarding ice cream bent code for cocaine and busting actual Ice cream guys

Why do comedies with little to no white characters think they can be even more racist than the white people they accuse of doing so

It’s like “the nutshack” all over again.

Here’s the “chief getting mad at the cop hero’s incompetence” trope. He’s Gonna put them on assignment in Iraq cuz their fuck up. Another duo consisting of a white dude and an ambiguously light Brown guy make fun of them with bad ice cream incompetence.

The girlfriend the one of them (I don’t know which one because I barely know either of them or even their names and so far their both bland as unflavored oatmeal) is upset because he was two minutes late to getting home and thinks she’s cheating on him.

“What could I possibly do anything so fast in those two minutes?”

She gives him a stare implying that’s how fast he is in bed with her, and no sound of laughter passes my lips.

This overbearing girlfriend and beaten down boyfriend cliche isn’t done to death At all. Oh and this ones name is Marcus

More ice cream jokes from the antagonist duo, our “heroes” make a “joke” about holding each others balls when they pee (what? That’s not what you hold when you go pee) and which one wipes (wouldn’t it be the other guy while one is on the John? This joke is bad in premise and execution)

The antagonist duo is working on the “Socialite kidnapping” case where someone has threatened to kidnap the daughters of the head of a local college. The “hero’s” are volunteered to pick them to set up a trap

Why is this a comedy again?

Oh Marcus called other one who’s name they haven’t said yet “blackie-chan” (WHAT-)

Oh Marcus is lactose intolerant, that totally isn’t a checkovs gun

So the girls arrive and despite being in their early 20s they greet the agents by saying “we already gave to the United negro fund”. I’ve never heard a rich young white chick call a black man a “negro” in the 21st century. I get they’re trying to make them shallow and shit but that’s unrealistic- oh now they gave the dudes the bags after they said they were going to the girls to the car.

Girls like this aren’t THIS kind of racist!

They can’t be from silicone valley and have the values of a stereotypical Texan yokel! They don’t fit!

Oh good… they have a Pomeranian…..

I’m only 15 minutes in? Oh good Lord. I’ll keep to highlights now.

The dog is out the window now oh no

Oh no they didn’t die from being hit by a truck

They just narrowly survived a horrible accident let’s make it humerous

She’s going to a self proclaimed bitch fit

They keep the girls in a room by saying they wouldn’t want anyone to see their “scars” (a light scratch on ones nose and the others lip), but they cant get them to the area where the trap is

Marcus says he is going to hang himself before the chief gets to him, sadly he doesn’t follow through.

The one that isn’t Marcus is lying to the chief over the phone coz one more screw up and it’s off to Iraq. The one that isn’t Marcus grabs marcus’ balls to stop him from admitting the truth

No laughs here

Okay so the disguise team (i think? They don’t say is gonna make them look like the girls now

I’m glad it’s more than sticking paint on their face and melons in their shirt but the guy freaked out when he felt the fake tits being put on him for some reason

“He’s right, make em bigger” says the head guy as i slowly die inside.

Oh Wait no it IS painting them white okay

The make up is somewhat decent, but here is where the “real humor” starts. So put on your hazmat suits.

The antagonist duo has to watch over the “girls” disguised as hotel staff and they take advantage of this by “mistaking” the ambiguously light brown guy for Mexican. Are they just racist to mexicans?

Haha their boobs are so big and knocking over things ha ha ha

They use plastic surgery to excuse their masculine facial features as well as make excuses for fake crabiness, actually decent writing here.

This is fleeting as guys are already planning to tap dat ass

Is that the chick who played lindsay in arrested development?

Are we doing a “your mother” competition right now. This film is sucking the humor out of me.

Another groin shot and mexican bashing.

Oh no one is getting attracted to the black publicist.

Oh good toilet humor and fart humor thanks chekovs gun

Lactose intolerance doesn’t work like that my family has two that are

Terry crews why are you here no….

“That’s what I’m talking about, a skinny white girl with a black ass”

Terry please no

Terry please god no

TERRY PLEASE NO

Did they do a “king king/ gorilla” joke to Terry and think since it’s really a black dude it’s okay.

Oh no

“Making my way downtown, walking past, and I’m home bound BENNA BA BENNA BA BENNA”

OBLIGATORY N-WORD AND RAP JOKE I REPEAT IT’S A CODE 19 EVERYONE GET DOWN.

Oh good dressing up tiiime and sex jokes greeeeaaat.

What is happening right now

I have no words, i think the Movie is having a stroke?

Oh no wait i think it’s me?

The antagonist duo is talking about what which older celebrity they’d bang as they keep an eye before they come back

And now not marcus Is trying to get her purse back coz it has the badge and gun, she ran fast and got it cuz I guess chicks like that can’t run fast???

There’s a subplot involving the guys that wanna tap that a girl looking like a she’s on cocaine coz Nose powder that’s all you need to know.

I wanna die

They’re doin the auction girl for charity thing and TERRY IS BACK OH GOD WHY

Oh wait it’s marcus wife and not girlfriend? Wtf

Oh good a sleepover

The black guy as a white girl is giving one girl corn rows OH NOOOO TUMBLR ALEERRRT

Oh good sex humour with dildos

I’m dead inside, like there’s nothing left… and there’s still another HOUR?! Children I’m not gonna make it…..

Oh good back to the dudes and banging celebs that have yeast infections- OH GOOD THE KIDNAPPING FROM BALD LACKIES oh they’re just strippers acting like kidnappers

“It’s part of their act”

Sadly it’s statistically a common kink of women for some reason

Beach scene now

Haha he’s actually black and throws football’s hard

Terry is too oiled up I’m scared OH GOD THAT’S HIS BULGE

“Swartzinegro”, that is all

Romance subplot with the publicist or whoever she is again no one cares and nothing super horrible or unfunny

AND ANOTHER SUBPLOT WITH THE WIFE THAT’S THE NAGGY BLACK GIRL TROPE AGAIN THAT’S GREAT

TERRY CREWS BEING ROMANTIC TO MARCUS WITH SAXOPHONE

TERRY LIKES THE SONG! MAKINH MY WAY DOWNTOWN, WALKING FAST, FACES PAST AND I’M HOME BOUND BADA BA BADA BA VXAGBCSG

STOP SINGING I’M THE DAD OF THE SWAMP CASTLE NOW

Oh good he did

I’m going to cry silently while this foot fetish shit is going on

Oyster is metaphor for pussy

More bland romance with not Marcus with awkward humor that’s just awkward

Same for Terry and marcus

Oh no mean doggo. Doggo mad. Doggo bite. Doggo please kill

Terry please stop I’m eating a carrot I’m gonna vomit

Oh he’s a basketball player OF COURSE HE IS

AND MORE FART HUMOR THANK YOU FOR THAT I STILL HAD A SHRED OF SANITY LEFT

More bland romance with not Marcus.

Make it end

She called the dog “nigga” as it’s funny coz it’s a black chick

Antagonist duo being creeps and finding out they’re dudes.

Drinks named after sex.

Terry putting drugs that arent roofies in the drink and my psychotic break is now complete

She switched them and pulled a “princess bride” tho

Eye candy skank sexy dance off I’m going to die this suddenly turned into a those dance movies with the cheerleaders and is just to fill time and the smut quot

Lol all black dudes can break dance you guys and it’s totally not stunt doubles

It’s 1 am right now and terry is high and ready to rape

Girl is spilling her guts litteraly and figuratively

High dog fucker and high Terry crews, wait wasn’t that shot from “it’s always sunny” with the glow sticks

Terry and high guy fucked

Marcus wife Subplot is back oh no.

Koolaid joke hahaha kill me

Why are the wives of black couples in comedies always so mean? I feel like that’s a stereotype that no one has acknowledged and is it’s just as bad as other tropes

The antagonists thought the real sisters were the fake and they were stripped and they were punched and it’s funny and the cheif knows and fired them and marcus is rightly leaving cuz is friend is an ass but he’s apologizing so let’s do the stupid plan and the identity of the bad guys is shown but I don’t remember who they are supposed to be.

The “heroes” are bringing the antagonist duo in cuz they were fired too and the “who’d you rather fuck” thing ISN’T FUNNY

TOKEN FLAMBOYANT GAY GUY RUNNING FASHION SHOW WHO IS CONFIRMED GAY HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WASN’T OLD EVEN BEFORE THE GAY REVOLUTION NOT AT ALL

FAUX MEANINGFUL MUSHY GIRL SHIT

THE WIFE OF MARCUS AND HER FRIEND WITH NO NAME ARE STILL HERE.

TERRY GO AWAY

SWITCHAROO HUMOR HAHA

IT’S THE SWAN DRESS BOIIIIII

PRATFALLS AHAHAHAHA

The two bad mean got red paint splattered on them and it’s seen as visionary while they are embarrassed.

Oh good china is in the mix of racial insensitivity

Oh boy theyre fighting the bad guys now and she said you hit like bitch

The wifes friend calls backup their names are keisha, nay-nay, and laquonda

Yes really

Oh the dad of the mean girls is the bad guy okay

Is terry dead

No

Terry only cared that marcus wasn’t white and he goes “negro please”. Did they use up their n-bombs?

The romance plot wraps up (“this some jerry springer shit”) and both duos get their job back cuz it’s a cop movie trope.

Why does Marcus want this chick again.

“And they all stayed friends the end”

It’s been a two hour movie and i lost all sanity but the late time is also a factor

Let this be a warning not to let history repeat itself

[hgfstreamchats]

But I’m a Cheerleader

Avatar image thenightetc User joined room 22:50 Avatar image thenightetc Hello! 22:50 thenightetc here 22:51 Avatar image Thebes User joined room 22:51 Excellent! 22:51 Avatar image thenightetc There we go 22:51 Avatar image Thebes Present! 22:51 Avatar image thenightetc Aw, you get a little crown on yours. 22:51 11 Shirts For Marbles' 11th Birthday 22:52 Avatar image Thebes I can't even judge, I spoil my dogs like all hell 22:52 How dare you accuse me of dressing Impact's pandas up in little clothes?

Back! Back! Hooray! Wait, let's wait for Zepha Oh, good idea. And what a short wait it was! I'm here!! Also, word on the street is that rabbit's out of money and a few weeks from closing down. Oh, good idea. And what a short wait it was! I'm here!! Also, word on the street is that rabbit's out of money and a few weeks from closing down. Ugh of course it is Oh, damn. OH. RIGHT. I forgot about this. Something about my extensions/ad-block won't show the video on my end, just the audio Awww, no. Try another browser? I can only watch rabbit in chrome I tried that last time too, it wouldn't work on Chrome OR Firefox Last time I just had two of me in the room, one on the laptop and one on my tablet but my tablet's been dead for months Oh, damn... Oh, damn... Can you open the movie itself in another window and have both on at the same time? Lemme try Firefox again That's what I would do when livestream was so persistently bad NOPE. SAME DELIO Audio, no video UGH Do you want the timestamp? nah I'll figure it out. I'm gonna see if it'll work on my phone If you're sure! don't wait for me, I'll be fine! oh! subtitles! ALRIGHT I GOT IT Woo! Wonderful! Tiny screen but at least I can watch!! What a charmer. Honestly I come to these streams more for the company, commentary, and the lot of us joined in solidarity of our mockery/horror of the movie to begin with Could you turn the subtitles back on? Gladly. Sometimes it's a little hard to hear Thanks! Aaaand they're not synced. Yyyeah, never mind, then. Because Unicron forbid anything work tonight. ugh drives me NUTS when they do that I hope that's not how they announce that somebody's dead I am going to rip off my array and throw it at the wall. wait why are they doing this already I thought she was still in the closet at this point how would anyone know? I don't even think she realizes it. Is that her boyfriend there? wait... wow ... they brought in a conversion therapist based ENTIRELY on stereotypes??> Is that her boyfriend there? wait... wow ... they brought in a conversion therapist based ENTIRELY on stereotypes??> Apparently! Thread-THIN stereotypes??? wtf the irony of their logo having a rainbow in it Kelly looks fun. right? Gah. How do humans live like this? Wait is that Melanie Lynskey? HAH We don't yeah, even the state that created this kinda camp shut down all theirs after a few (horrible) decades 'Alright that's too much affection tone it back a bit' poor kid. Graham has absolutely no intention of giving into this life I mean, give into this life and it's a slippery slope to your life resembling 'Saving Christmas' ... gender identity and sexual orientation ARE NOT THE SAME THING MAN .... This was all so inevitable. of course actual conversion therapy is a legit dystopian torture-chamber nightmare Oh, no. Pants. A true nightmare NO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT Yeah, why would they want to watch a bunch of sweaty, muscular men grappling with each other The time I watched my uncle watched UFC I commented after a few minutes 'wow this looks super gay' and my uncle FREAKED OUT AT ME FOR IT y'know the FIRST mistake was pairing these kids with a same-sex friend obviously feelings are going to develop in this atmosphere I mean, obviously They're the world's best matchmakers. LOLOLOLOL awwww ah ah ah a REAL lady does not CROSS her legs she only keeps her knees together, sometimes hooking her ankles together if she needs it awwwww awwwww TEMPTATION ohoho fake IDs! This is adorable. 'and then I realized dancing with that OTHER girl didn't make me happy and watching graham dance with a girl made me ANGRY so maybe there's hope for me!!' 'Oh wait no n/m' It's hard to resist sweet as pie. I certainly couldn't. Oh wow the actresses actually looked into it there's way too many actresses playing lesbians/wlw that look like they're obviously forcing it for the job jesus. god this movie is a nightmare It really is. honey no don't bring out th eblacklight *blacklight Ohhh dear psh he can't even say it Field trip to the Cocksucker, class! ...Wow 'YOU'RE choosing to cut US off' uGH Hah! 'Look how heterosexual we are' gah, creepy GAH yes let's put these underage teenages in sexual situations not creepy at all you girls gonna get snitched on d'aww this is the sincerest thing I've seen in this movie sofar :< :< uGH *SHUDDER* UGH. I can't get over this, adults forcing kids into this is so skeevy it really is Wait... That's Dante Basco!! HAH Nice And Mike is RuPaul. Wait WHAT Oh my god I didn't even recognize him at all Wild Isn't it? How did she not see THAT 'I can't lose daddy's money AWWWW HER PARENTS ACCEPTED HER AFTER ALL Awww! Well, good Even if the mom needs some more time She made it there, she'll come around. Progress is progress Well that was a thoroughly uncomfortable ride Humanity's hang-ups are a trip, aren't they Knock Out? A thoroughly uncomfortable trip! Let me dig up our light note. Yes Oh gosh yes please Yes, let's! I need a palette cleanser Wait this movie came out in 2000?! I mean judging by how young some of the actors I KNEW are I knew it had to be slightly oldre *older but I first saw the internet going crazy over this movie like, 2015 or so So I assumed it came out in 2010 or around that area at the EARLIEST noooope. but to be fair, you have to cast back to 1991 to find depictions of conversion therapy that... well. That. hashtag YIKES wooooooooow Ha! I like this girl Her sense of humour feels trustworthy god Jesus. (slowly looks at camera at that conclusion ) 'If you're unhappy about the quality of the video you just watched, complain to metro they'll write about it' AMAZING And one more quick one to really kick off pride month... I'M CRY ooh yes AHHHH YES what the fuck AHAHAHAHA ... ooh that's one thing that's nice about rabbit too I can CUSS I used to have to sensor my own cussing on Livestream Appalling. if I typed 'fuck' I'd have to type 'f*ck' or it would come up '****' Censorship just fucks everything up. Yes. Rabbit may be a butt that's about to die but at least we can say fuck Cling to that spar and don't let go. ALWAYS Yeah, the row of ****s just like... draws extra attention to it It makes it look worse! That's why I got into the habit of censoring myself Everyone knew EXACTLY what I was saying THAT way Well--as always, thank you for the stream. And thank you for coming, as always! It was certainly... a thing that's for sure! thanks for the stream! It's always wonderful when you can make it, zephra human. I'm glad I could today, my work schedule's a butt but say high to Breakdown and Impact for me! *hi Of course! Good night, everyone! Goodnight! 'Night guys!

[the-barista-who-became-a-rabbit]

Ahahahaha, you gotta love the intellectual capacities of people around here. I tried a few numbers from my old phone, asking who they were. All of them replied

"your mom"

and blocked me afterwards.

I'm not joking about stereotypes or lack of diversity around here. People are literally the same, girls have the exact same personality. Same voice tone, same lazy attitude about every fucking thing.

Aahh shit, I either leave this town and leave this country or I'm gonna die alone. That don't matter to me, however I either go to Japan or I'm gonna hang myself when I'm 30. Promise.