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[narutolists]

The Akatsuki as high school teachers

What teaching roles would the Akatsuki take on if they were forced to become high school teachers?

1. Pein

Teaches: History. His voice sends people to sleep.

Pein: “And in the Ancient Roman period the life expectancy was only 20 to 30 years. This has many contributing factors. Such as, but not limited to...”

Student: “Oh my god why won’t he talk faster.”

Pein: “No talking in my class. And don’t blaspheme my name like that.”

2. Konan

Teaches: Careers. She’s a little too motherly.

Konan: “And when you finish high school, you can go and do whatever you set your mind to.”

Student: “Can I become a chef?”

Konan: “Of course!”

Student #2: “Can I become a mob boss???”

Konan: “You can do whatever your heart tells you to hun.”

3. Itachi

Teaches: Computing and I.T. Well he tries at least.

Itachi: “Okay.....so today you’ll be using Photoshop to create a website design.”

Student: “You just opened up Microsoft Paint.”

Itachi: “Yes...I meant to do that.....give me a second.”

Student: “Can you even see the screen clearly?”

Itachi: “Honestly? No. I am going blind. Just do whatever.”

4. Kisame

Teaches: Gym. He has a pretty fierce rivalry with the other gym teacher.

Kisame: “Right! Let’s do some good old rope climbing today!”

Student: “Mr Gai had us do that yesterday.”

Kisame: “.....Right. Then we’ll be using the horse vault instead.”

Student: “Also yesterday. He said something about not remembering if there was another gym teacher or not so we just did everything.”

Kisame: “OH FOR FU-”

5. Hidan

Teaches: Religion. Even though he’s just a substitute. 

Hidan: “And THAT is why you should hail Lord Jashin as your saviour.”

Student: “Mr Hidan this is an English Literature class.”

Hidan: “Do I give a fuck? No. Shut the fuck up.”

6. Kakuzu

Teaches: Economics. Yes it’s as terrible as you think.

Kakuzu: “Setting up an interest account will not only teach you to save money but will also earn you even MORE money in the long run.”

Student: “Thanks for the advice! But the exam is about taxes so I really think we should be-”

Kakuzu: “Taxes are the devil. I will have no part in teaching it. If you fail then that’s your own problem”

7. Deidara

Teaches: Art. As a substitute. He hates being the substitute. 

Deidara: “Alright kiddos get out your clay we’re gonna be making SCULPTURES.”

Student: “But Mr Sasori has been teaching us still life painting so shouldn’t we be continuing that?”

Deidara: “Ha ha, Mr Sasori can suck a dick because he’s an idiot. I said get out your clay.”

8. Sasori

Teaches: Art. 

Sasori: “Sorry I was away. I had a nasty head cold and- what the hell are those?”

Student: “Um.....Mr Deidara told us to make clay sculptures yesterday and it was actually really fun! We’re hoping we can finish-”

Sasori: “Throw those hideous things in the trash where they belong.”

9. Tobi/Obito

Teaches: Drama. As two different “brothers”.

Tobi: “Okay! Let’s practise our facial expressions now! Pull the stupidest face you can and your partner has to try not to laugh! Then we’re gonna practise ANIMAL NOISES!”

Student: “Holy shit Mr Uchiha’s brother is on some sort of drug or something.”

Tobi: “What did you say about my brother?? That he’s super handsome?? Yeah I know!”

10. Zetsu

Teaches: Biology. Things tend to go missing.

Zetsu: “Okay. Today we are dissecting frogs.”

Student: “Ewww....cool! Where are they?”

Zetsu: “I.....didn’t eat them. I swear.”

Student: “.....oh.”