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finnyphcntom · 1 year

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"MANSION" Creepypasta AU Character Analysis and Information - Jeff the Killer

Full, biological name : Jeffery Dale Woods

Nickname(s) : Jeff, Smile-Eye

Height : 6'2.5

Weight - 185 lbs.

Rank : B

Section(s) : Bounty, Mission, Hunt, Scare

"Jeff has his major flaws, but we keep him because I can put him just about anywhere and he will suceed." - Slenderman

Jeffery Alan Woods is a 24 year old hispanic male. He is fluent in english, however he sometimes struggles with common grammar. From time to time, he forgets words in english and has to say them in Spanish.

Jeff is not, in the slightest bit, insecure. He genuinely believes that he is the best person(yes, even morally) to exist. He believes he is strong, and can do anything anyone else could do with his human combat alone.

Which is why, when he obtained his powers, he became offended. Jeff refuses to use his powers, and often gets in trouble for getting into too many situations he couldve avoided or escaped from with his ability.

When Jeff first became a pasta, he was very reckless. He did not know a lot about anatomy and quite frankly missed vital organs for his first few missions, causing victims to wake up and catch him.

But Jeff loved to run from his issues, and he was quite good at it.

Most of the pastas are only in 1-2 sections, Jeff is in four. He does not care where he is sectioned, he will do it. Since he is the only one capable of doing so much, he is kept.

For reasons stated before, Jeff cannot be considered a RANK A pasta. Jeff, although adapts well, is reckless. He lets his emotions get the better of him and lets his pride stop him from reaching his full glory.

Jeff is narcissistic and suffers from a lot of mental illnesses, none which is he medicated for. This includes but is not limited to; narristic personaliy disorder, bipolar depression, schizophrenia, PTSD

POWERS :

SATANIC FUEL

With satanic fuel, Jeff has the power to manipulate the fire around him. He cannot summon it, but can touch and endure it with little to no pain, and can control its direction and where it goes.

BLIND ESCAPISM

For a few minutes, Jeff can make his body into a shadow so he can get out of situations quickly and efficiently.

FOX FEET

Jeff is extremely quiet, and not naturally. He has power that mutes out his footsteps and movement. The only sound that could be heard are his voice, because it is a willing noise.

GRACE REGENERATON

Jeff regenerates and heals, rather quickly. This is a power he cannot control, for if he didnt have it, he would be blind and his face would be full of infections. It would clog up the medical section, therefore, Slenderman gave him no control over this power.

#jeff the killer #creepypasta #creepypasta au #headcanon #jeffery woods #ben drowned #slenderman #marble hornets

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thesportssoundoff · 6 years

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“Do I need to even?” UFC 229 Preview

Joey

September 30th

Oh boy oh boy. We've somehow someway made it here and I feel like we deserve some credit here. If you've survived 90% of 2018 then you've earned this one. If you survived UFC 228, UFC 224, the messy FS1 cards ravaged by injury and waking up early for Asian FP cards? You've earned this one. We've got a very solid card with matching lightweight fights of the highest quality. The co-main event pits Anthony Pettis vs the returning Tony Ferguson in one of the best LW fights you could put together for action quality while the main event is the best fight. Period. Conor McGregor is truly underrated at this point in his career; a dominant fighter who has one blemish on his record which he avenged. He is a genuine two weight class champion (lack of defenses be damned) with wins over the likes of Chad Mendes, Jose Aldo, Max Holloway, Eddie Alvarez and Dustin Poirier. Khabib Nurmagomedov's resume speaks for itself; undefeated in the UFC expanding beyond six years now with wins over some really good competition in Michael Johnson, Al Iaquinta and Edson Barboza. It's the striker vs grappler match up and the man with the one hitter quitter vs an endless torrent of takedowns and ground and pound. There's very few fights ever I'm as excited about as this one. Those two fights on their own? Pretty good. The rest of the card? Pretty decent actually! The UFC absolutely took perhaps a step too many in loading up this show. Being honest, the sixth best fight on this card (Michelle Waterson vs Felice Herrig) could've headlined the Moncton FS1 show. Let's just have a damn good time here and enjoy THIS one for once.

Debuts: Jalin Turner

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 0

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 13 (Conor McGregor, Tony Ferguson, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Anthony Pettis, Felice Herrig, Michelle Waterson, Ovince St. Preux, Alexander Volkov, Gray Maynard, Derrick Lewis, Sergio Pettis, Yana Kunitskaya, Ryan LaFlare)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC:

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: (Conor McGregor, Tony Ferguson, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Derrick Lewis, Sean O'Malley, Alexander Volkov, Vicente Luque, Jussier Formiga, Jose Quinonez, Scott Holtzman, Alan Patrick)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2016 (in the UFC): 37-13

Conor McGregor- 2-1 Khabib Nurmagomedov- 4-0 Tony Ferguson- 3-0 Anthony Pettis- 3-4 Ovince St. Preux- 5-4 Dominick Reyes- 3-0 Derrick Lewis- 7-1 (!) Alexander Volkov- 4-0 Michelle Waterson- 2-2 Felice Herrig- 4-1

Divisional Breakdown:

Lightweight- 4 Women's bantamweight- 2 Welterweight- 2 Bantamweight- 1 (?) Women's strawweight- 1 Flyweight- 1 Heavyweight-1 Light Heavyweight- 1

Too Low- Vicente Luque vs Jalin Turner

Most of this card is honestly fine and I get why Michelle Waterson is on the main card. Having said that, I think that fight is a bit too....blegh (on paper) for a show like this. I'd use Waterson vs Herrig to try and draw some eyeballs to this FS1 slate and instead push a guaranteed burner in Turner vs Luque. Vicente Luque has finished every one of his wins and he's taken decision losses vs stalling wrestler types. At the same time, Jalin Turner had some of the freakiest striking chops on the second DWTCS run. This should be a superb striking battle.

Too High Up- Aspen Ladd vs Tanya Evinger

Ehhh......I don't know if this is going to be a fight worthy of having on FS1. Ladd still seems really raw and we haven't seen Evinger in over a year in a lopsided loss vs Cyborg. This is Fight Pass quality. Waterson vs Herrig on the PPV isn't great shakes BUT both have fan bases that will probably-ish tune in. Probably. Not that this card should NEED any of that.

Stat Monitor for 2018:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 27-32-1): Jalin Turner

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 26-19):

Second Fight (Current number: 34-27): Aspen Ladd, Tonya Evinger, Yanit Kunitskaya

Cage Corrosion (Current number: 19-28): Conor McGregor, Gray Maynard, Tonya Evinger (If this show happens a day later, Tony Ferguson)

Undefeated Fighters (Current number: 26-21-1): Khabib Nurmagomedov Aspen Ladd, Dominick Reyes

Keeping An Eye On But Not Really:

The UFC Win Check Test The records of fighters who have 4 or more UFC fights (or three full calendar years in the organization) but 0 wins against people still in the UFC:

Twenty Precarious Ponderings

(We're doing TWENTY for a show like this, y'all. In truth, I just wanted to talk more and more about Khabib and Conor)

1- I just don't have enough time or energy to detail ALL of the intricacies of this lightweight title fight. The simplistic view is "wrestler vs striker" but that belittles the things both guys do so so so so well that in turn makes them special. Has Khabib Nurmagomedov ever faced a guy with Conor's length and timing? Even if we acknowledge that Conor McGregor is basically a one armed fighter (Conor's left hand is the best singular weapon in MMA), he has not just insane timing on it but the ability to throw it whenever he wants. One of the concepts of baseball is that "He throws hard!" eventually isn't enough and you need something off-speed to shake it off. Conor's different in that he can probably throw his left from any angle with any sort of heat and any sort of pacing offset by his kicks and his jab. Conversely Khabib "as a wrestler" is just a really unfair attempt to simplify a very good all around fighter. His control is A+, he threatens with submissions enough to keep fighters honest on the ground and he has a tremendous understanding of chaining attempts together with different techniques. How often do you see Khabib Nurmagomedov get stuck (look at Eryk Anders vs Thiago Santos) or forced to make a bad shot (look at some of Josh Koscheck's prime for desperation TDs)? On the feet, Khabib doesn't have a wealth of weaponry but he has a good jab and dude just seems to hit hard.

2- One of the things AntiCool speaks of so much that I truly believe in is fighters being unwilling to concede a single measure in fights where they need to pull off the upset. He uses Alexander Gustafsson vs Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier as good examples of a fighter who doesn't give up any avenue of the fight where they felt they couldn't win. The reason I bring this up is because I genuinely believe Conor McGregor is ballsy enough to believe he can absolutely if he has to compete with Khabib on the ground. I bet he believes that even if it's not the gameplan.

3- Jose Aldo and Khabib have some similarities in their dominance. Both were so neutralizing that they completely shut down fighters at the base of their respective games and forced them to adapt, often times doing that while basically sleepwalking through fights. That said, they also are similar in their relative levels of inactivity heading into the Conor fights. Conor McGregor and Khabib fought on the same card in 2016 and since that point? Khabib's fought just twice. Not exactly blazing a track of activity probably compounded by Khabib taking time off for Ramadan. Also both Aldo and Khabib were known as cold calculated fighters who were surgical but never emotional. That changed vs McGregor for Aldo----soooo is Khabib going to come out emotional?

4- What are the odds of a double retirement after this fight?

5- Does this PPV find a way to crack the 2 million buy mark?

6- One of the weirder thing is how assured we are of Khabib's dominance while also acknowledging how so-so his resume is overall. We've seen Conor's resume at 145 lbs and while his resume at 155 lbs is thin, it IS worth noting that he dominated Eddie Alvarez in his one foray there. Conversely Khabib's resume is really just two guys unless you take a ton out of the Al Iaquinta fight (it didn't show me anything about him from a skills POV but it showed me everything I need to know about his mental toughness as an athlete). There's a lot more we need to know about Khabib than there is to figure out about Conor.

7- Tony Ferguson is one of my favorite fighters and in a lot of ways, the El Cucuy stuff writes itself. Tony Ferguson (like Yoel Romero and the Diaz Brothers) has this unique borderline inhuman ability to outweird the world's weirdest spot. He lives the weirdest life, chases the weirdest thrills and could only exist in a sport like this one. Ferguson's 2017 was a mess; a complete collapse of a fight with Khabib, an eventual interim title win vs Kevin Lee leading to a 2018 where a blown out knee seemed set to rob him of his 2018. Because he's Tony Ferguson, he's out here fighting Anthony Pettis in October. Whether Ferguson can still do the things that made him special (be funky, awkward, outhustle dudes in key positions, challenge with submissions from any situation, throw a variety of kicks from any situation) after a bad knee injury and another year on the wrong side of 30 remains to be seen. I'm left to hope so since a winning Tony Ferguson is a fun Tony Ferguson.

8- Anthony Pettis has been pretty bad for the majority of the last three years but perhaps things are going to turn around now. Pettis' second round win over Michael Chiesa felt like a combination of some of the best of Anthony Pettis (quick counter striking, aggressive and opportunistic grappling) with some of his worst of Anthony Pettis. The road has been rough for Showtime but we're talking about a Tony Ferguson who is coming off a knee surgery and pushing 35. If there was EVER a chance for Anthony Pettis to figure this out, THIS is the guy to do it against.

9- Could Pettis beating Ferguson jump him over the winner of Nate/Poirier?

10- I know some of my fellas on here might disagree with the idea of OSP vs Dominick Reyes but at this point, I'm with it. There's not a long list of guys at 205 lbs who can act as the buffer between "proven to be good" and "ready to be great" so it falls on OSP. Reyes is arguably the most unique prospect at 205 lbs and this is without question an aggressive step up. It is worth pointing out that OSP was losing before he won vs Tyson Pedro and so they might be gambling on a decline. For me, I'm mostly concerned that Reyes is going to be shellshocked by the difference in strength between he and OSP.

11- Speaking of too soon, allow me to present to you Aspen Ladd vs Tonya Evinger!

12- I feel as though a big problem with Michelle Waterson is her inability to handle strength at the POA vs bigger fighters, a natural issue since everyone at 115 lbs is bigger tha her. Not sure why the idea of her vs Felice Herrig seemed appealing to the UFC. I could not think of a WORSE match up for her.

13- Dude let's talk right quick about Anthony Pettis' last ten fights including T-Ferg:

Tony Ferguson Michael Chiesa Dustin Poirier Jim Miller Max Holloway Charles Oliveira Edson Barboza Eddie Alvarez Rafael Dos Anjos Gilbert Melendez

I mean the WORST fighter in that grouping is who? Gil Melendez? I think we could argue Gil is at least average right? Oliveira and Chiesa are solid fighters and Barboza is a great kickboxer at least. Jim Miller?

14- Kudos to Gray Maynard still out here being relevant after being written off as cooked back in 2013. Your fav could never.

15- Even if it's just an exciting throw together brawl? Vicente Luque vs Jalin Turner is going to be exceptionally violent.

16- Is Aspen Ladd our best chance at finding a relevant exciting new 135 lber?

17- Very few divisions ever truly need an interim title---but this Volkov vs Lewis fight COULD have been an interim title fight. Put it this way, DC vs Brock is scheduled tentatively for post February 2019, right? What's the likelihood that the winner of that fight fights again? Brock probably dips out, DC probably retires and so then you're left with....anybody? This card doesn't need a second card BUT if the UFC title picture is in a messy state of being in 2019, we could just go and look back at this fight.

18- Sergio Pettis vs Jussier Formiga was a title contender fight then Cejudo went and ruined everything for them. It's still a fantastic fight at a division that's got some juice in it and I for one am excited to see if Pettis can put together what he did well against a prolific spoiler in Formiga.

19- You can't tell me this is the first time Nik Lentz and Gray Maynard have fought one another. I refuse to buy into such a lie.

20- It's been a long time since we've had a fight like THIS. Not since July of 2017 if you wanna stretch it that far with DC vs Jones II. Enjoy this. These are special moments.

#MMA #UFC #UFC 229 #McGregor #Khabib #Tony Ferguson #Anthony Pettis #Volkov #Lewis

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junker-town · 7 years

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Grading the NFL’s offseason moves

The league year officially starts March 14, but that hasn’t kept teams from making a list of trades and signings ahead of time. Let’s pass out some grades.

The NFL offseason didn’t even wait for the season to finish before getting underway. Kansas City and Washington made a blockbuster deal to send quarterback Alex Smith to the nation’s capitol before the Super Bowl. And that was just the beginning.

The league year doesn’t even open until March 14, and already we’ve got a long list of major moves to assess.

Welcome to the new NFL.

Grading offseason moves is a tricky thing because there’s so much more at play than just the numbers a player brings to his new team. It’s still probably easier than grading draft picks who haven’t even played a snap at the pro level. But it’s worth remembering that not everyone’s offseason champs see that magic translated on the field.

We’ll have to revisit these grades after the season ends. But for now, let’s assess!

(Signings and trades presented with the newest ones first and updated as they happen).

49ers sign CB Richard Sherman.

Grade: A

It’s a three-year deal worth as much as $39 million, which is reasonable for a top of the line starting corner who doesn’t turn 30 until the end of the month. He is coming off a torn Achilles, but expects to ready for camp.

Cornerback was probably the 49ers’ biggest offseason need. Sherman will pair with and mentor Ahkello Witherspoon as the starting corners, and now they can look for depth at the position.

But this move gets an A for the sheer hate, signing the player behind the rivalry between these two teams that will still face each other twice a year.

BROWNS’ BIG TRADIN’ BONANZA!

Browns trade DT Danny Shelton and a fifth-round pick to the Patriots for a 2019 third-round pick.

Grade: B for the Browns; A for the Patriots.

Shelton was a big part of the Browns’ actually good run defense last season. He’s on the last year of his rookie deal too — with the potential for a fifth-year option in 2019 — and carries a meager $2 million cap hit. However, they do have second-year DT Larry Ogunjobi to replace him.

The Patriots get a nice replacement for Alan Branch, who’ll probably be a critical part of another double-digit win campaign this year.

Packers trade CB Damarious Randall to the Browns for QB DeShone Kizer.

Grade: A

The Taylor and Landy deals generated the most excitement, but this was the shrewedest move of the bunch. Hue Jackson ruined Kizer’s tenure with the Browns last season ... a remarkable feat because it usually takes a couple years to get burned out by the Browns. He was destined to get cut. Instead, the Browns got a starting caliber cornerback out of the deal, and Kizer gets a fresh start.

They also swapped picks in the fourth and fifth rounds of this year’s draft.

Bills trade QB Tyrod Taylor to the Browns for a third-round pick.

Grade: A for both teams.

I don’t know why the Bills have been so anxious to move on from Taylor, but doing it this way is a win for everyone involved. Taylor gets to continue his career as a starter in the NFL. The Browns have a bridge quarterback while they groom a rookie, and the Bills get the 65th pick in the draft to give them two picks in each of the draft’s first three rounds and all the flexibility that comes with it.

The question here is whether Taylor suffers the fate that befalls most Browns quarterbacks. Maybe Todd Haley can drum up some version of the offense he ran in Pittsburgh, a working man’s version of the Steelers’ Three Bs (along with all the three or four head scratching WTF decisions Haley’s good for every week). Taylor’s threat as a runner is something the Browns will have to build into the offense too, which would be especially effective if they do draft Saquon Barkley.

Dolphins trade WR Jarvis Landry to the Browns for a fourth-round pick and a 2019 seventh-round pick.

Grade: B

A reliable, chain-moving slot receiver. His 74.5 career catch rate is nothing to overlook given the quarterbacks he’s had to work with in Miami. According to Pro Football Focus, he generated the sixth most yards from the slot last year and the most in 2016. Cleveland’s going to overpay him if they sign him to a contract extension, but that’s a luxury they can afford.

The Dolphins were pretty clear that Landry wasn’t in their plans, so getting a pair of picks for a guy they could’ve just let walk is a plus.

Eagles trade WR Torrey Smith to the Panthers for CB Daryl Worley

Grade: A for the Eagles. C for the Panthers.

Philadelphia has the smartest front office in the NFL. They don’t get enough credit for it either. Smith was the odd man out in the receiver rotation this year. Instead of just cutting him, the Eagles managed to get a depth corner with two years left on his rookie deal.

Carolina might have signed him for less than the $10 million left on the last two years of his deal. Smith does give the Panthers another speedy downfield threat, a position that thrives with Cam Newton running the offense.

Broncos trade CB Aqib Talib to the Rams for a fifth-round pick.

Grade: A

At 32, it’s hard to say just how much Talib has left, but he was still one of the league’s better corners last year. And at $11 million this year ($8 million next year), it’s not a bad deal for the Rams.

The Broncos had the depth at the position, inserting Bradley Roby into the starting job, and needed the cap space.

Rams trade LB Alec Ogletree and a 2019 seventh-round pick to the Giants for a fourth- and sixth-round pick.

Grade: B for the Giants just because his contract is a little pricey for the position. A for the Rams.

Ogletree never found his place in Wade Phillips’ defense. Cutting him wasn’t an option thanks to an extension that made him one of the highest paid linebackers in the league and would have left the Rams with $10 million in dead cap space. Fortunately for them, the Giants needed a coverage linebacker.

Seahawks trade DE Michael Bennett and a seventh-round pick to the Eagles for WR Marcus Johnson and a fifth-round pick.

Grade: B

The Seahawks settled for a little less than other teams were offering (the Patriots had a third-round pick on the table). But good on them for sending Bennett to a team where he’ll be more at home as part of an outstanding defensive line rotation.

Bills sign RB Chris Ivory.

Grade: F

Whyyyyyyyy? The Bills gave Ivory a two-year, $5.5 million contract, which isn’t going to break the bank or anything, but it just doesn’t make much sense as far as assembling a team. They already have a massive amount of money tied up in the position thanks to LeSean McCoy’s $40 million contract. Now, they’re bringing in a backup who hasn’t averaged more than 3.8 yards per carry in his last two seasons and fumbled seven times in that span.

Rams trade DE Robert Quinn and a sixth-round pick to the Dolphins for a fourth- and sixth-round pick.

Grade: B

Quinn’s never been the same player since injuries put him on the shelf for most of 2015 and 2016. Even without his All-Pro form, the Rams will miss the 8.5 sacks he had last season. It’s a big upgrade opposite Cam Wake in Miami’s four-man front, but one that gives the Dolphins more cap work to do, as usual.

Bills sign CB Vontae Davis.

Grade: A

Two years ago, Davis was one of the NFL’s handful of shutdown corners. Injuries have taken a toll since then, but a one-year deal worth $5 million means the Colts don’t necessarily need him to play at that level again. And if he does get back to that level, or close to it, so much the better for Buffalo and Davis.

We’re not going to grade off every little free move that happens this month, but these are the kind of deals that have a way of becoming the best kind of offseason pickups.

Chiefs trade CB Marcus Peters and a sixth-round pick to the Rams for a fourth-round pick and a 2019 second-round pick.

Grade: A for the Rams; C for the Chiefs.

Like I mentioned the other day, the Rams have the most dangerous secondary in the NFL now, thanks to a trio of smart offseason moves. It’s hard to believe the Chiefs couldn’t have gotten more for Peters, or just kept him because he’s a good player with one year left on his rookie deal (and the potential for a fifth-year option).

Chiefs trade QB Alex Smith to Washington for CB Kendall Fuller and a third-round pick.

Grade: A for the Chiefs. B for Washington.

Kansas City had no place for Smith this season and no room to carry that kind of cap hit for Pat Mahomes’ backup. Getting a third-round pick and a starting slot corner with two years left on his rookie deal is a big win.

Washington is a good landing spot for Smith. He slides into a competitive team with a talented cast around him. Still, it’s hard not to think that maybe Washington could’ve handled things better with Kirk Cousins.

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