#all I've wanted this whole time was for Essek and Caleb to get to study Ashton and I am absolutely jazzed about how it went down

[thatfaerieprincess]

I don't usually blog directly abt CR I just reblog but uhhhhhhhhh I am STILL thinking about Ashton getting his head inspected by Essek. That was literally almost everything I wanted from that scene!! I have been dreaming about nearly exactly that scenario for MONTHS!!

Ever since we first saw Caleb in C3 I've been sitting on this fic idea I'll never write where Caleb and Essek get to sit Ashton down in their shared study and inspect them and ask them questions and answer questions for them!!! I wanted Ashton to be treated SO gently and so respectfully and yet completely depersonalized as just A Thing for them to study, but still being checked in on!! Caleb being SO careful to make sure Ashton doesn't feel uncomfortable bc of his own history Being An Experiment, the two of them getting Ashton's full story and just Making Eye Contact over their head!! Swapping notes and theories, Caleb filling Essek in on what he knows abt the potions of dunamis, teaching Ash abt what they know, Caleb keeps going into teacher mode, Ashton being somewhat zoned out when they aren't being spoken too, sitting in a comfortable chair just letting themself be moved and positioned! Caleb asking if they need any water or snacks or extra pillows !! Ashton is deeply uncomfortable but in a very comfortable way, not used to being treated with this kind of respect and care, especially not being studied by someone who isn't LEERING !! They give Ashton a full briefing at the end with all their conclusions!! Maybe some other time they run some tests on their abilities!!

And obviously the scene in c3e95 is entirely different by way of No Caleb, but with just Essek that was p much everything I could've wanted!! Being asked "may I touch?" And then taking their jaw and tilting their head?! Peering into the hole in their head and going "O.O Oh Boy!" Getting to teach Ash abt dunamancy and the Luxon!! The only thing that could've made it better was if Essek mentioned the need to confer with his partner about it!!

My only dearest hope rn is that Some DayTM when all this is over and they get that chance to study a little more in depth, that Caleb can be there too. Idk if it'll ever happen again like that in campaign and not just post-campaign fic but!!! I was at peace for like 10 whole minutes there! nevermind Everything Else that happened in this episode!!

[jinxquickfoot]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @16woodsequ. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

82!! And that's counting the one-shot collections as 1 fic.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,572,787

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still in Marvel, although I've had a few ideas around Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss that I probably would written if my MCU WIP list wasn't so impossibly long.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness

Let's Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends!

The One Where Peter is Tony's Weakness

You're Always Spider-Man

The One Where Clint is Tony's Weakness

You guys really like it when I kidnap Peter Parker.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Of course!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Worst Thing, it's the only ending I wouldn't call 'happy'. I labelled it 'bittersweet' instead, which I think is fitting. Actually Dollhouse also is a strong contender.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Let's Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends! teeters on the edge of soppy. Everyone is alive post-Endgame, Peter gets a prom with all the Avengers and his high school friends, and the Spider-Kid in question gets a whole month of rest.

In hindsight, I wrote that fic during pretty extreme burnout (that I am now thankfully over), and I can see my need for rest and care just bleeding through Peter in those final chapters. I'm so grateful we both got what we needed.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not for a long time, since the debates over Civil War have... if not settled, maybe don't hold as much interest as they used to.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet, but I think I might be brave and include some Winterhawk smut in the Heart of Stone series.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I've come across one or two with eerily similar premises and wondered, but I've never followed up. Tropes are tropes for a reason.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not a translation but Hair is Everything has a podfic!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many! And tried to many at the same time which was a mistake, but I'm so glad I've gotten to work with so many incredible authors:

The One Where Clint is Steve's Weakness with @16woodsequ

The One Where T'Challa is Shuri's Weakness with @fluencca

The One Where Bruce is Thor's Weakness with @onwardmeteors

The One Where Peter is Peter's Weakness with @spagbol99

The One Where Bucky is Steve's Weakness with @usaonetwothree

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Winterhawk aka Clint/Bucky has my heart forever and ever, but I have a soft spot for Clint/Matt and Wanda/Vision as well. Outside of Marvel, I love reading for Stede/Ed, Husk/Angel, Caleb/Essek and Buck/Eddie.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

If I've posted it, I'll finish it (I swear, I know I haven't touched the Whumptoberverse in three years). I do have an outline for something called the Amendment trilogy which I thought had some promise, but I've done so many Civil War Fix-Its now I doubt it has anything original to say these days.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't think my plot twists are too shabby, and I like to think that I find new things to say about well-worn characters and tropes. I'm also pretty damn good at structure, but that's because I studied and practised the hell out of it. Oh and occasionally I like to think I'm funny, especially when writing for Tony.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I focus too much on getting a fic done than letting it breathe. I've been told several times the ending to The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness is disappointing, and I agree. I was ready to get out of there so I Game of Throned it instead of spending a good 5-10 chapters wrapping that fic up properly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Short bits are fine if you pop the translation in the end notes. If not, I like to just say something like, "He switched to Russian [continues dialogue in English]."

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCU and we're still going, baby.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

AH okay I want to include all those I co-wrote but that feels like cheating, because what I like about those fics is often what other people brought to them.

I used to say Budapest and that's still a strong contender. But I actually love The One Where Clint is Sam's Weakness, specifically the final chapter. The idea of mistakes and regrets and choices not making you who you are is a very personal thing for me. Clint saying "You’re my hero, Kate." might be my favorite line I've ever written in a fic. Sometimes the simplest ones are the best.

Low pressure tag: @fluencca @usaonetwothree @queenofalotofdifferentworlds @spagbol99 @teeelsie-posts

[dsudis]

2022 Fic Year in Review

Scope note: I am including the WIP I completed this year, which will also appear in the previous year during which chapters were posted, if I ever get around to making a fic year in review post for that year. Stories posted for 2022 Christmas fic exchanges are included in this post.

In 2022 I posted 17 stories, including the concluding chapters of one WIP begun in 2021, for a total of over 104,000 words of fic posted in four fandoms. This was a pretty average number of stories for the past several years (since 2017, I've posted 12-18 stories per year) and a bit of a bounce back from last year's total of less than 82,000 words of fic posted. Weirdly, my word count total for 2022 was within a hundred words of my total from 2007, when I was, uh… working full time, in grad school, and shoveling most of my writing into a story I wouldn't post until the following year. 2022… also had its challenges, but I continue to regard it as The Year My Writing Came Back From The War, so I am pretty pleased all in all.

I actually wrote over 155,000 words of fic this year, with most of the unposted word count going to the Sandman Nightmare Apocalypse AU I started as a Nanowrimo project which… only needs another 80K or so, so… it could get finished in 2023? Maybe??

Story titles this year quoted The Mountain Goats, Taylor Swift, Rainier Maria Rilke, Beck, Swedish synth-pop duo The Knife, U2, T.S. Eliot and Sammy Cahn, who I have just this moment learned was the lyricist responsible for "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!"

Under the cut: fic list and year in review questions answered!

Critical Role

Whomever You Call Out to in the Night (Critical Role: Mighty Nein, Caduceus & Caleb, platonic rope bondage) Just One More Thing (Critical Role: Bells Hells, Orym & Ashton, Ashton's touch aversion) Dangerous Company (Critical Role: Bells Hells, Orym & Fearne, Teen, discussion of the PvP powder keg that is this party) Live Along Some Distant Day (Critical Role: Mighty Nein, Caleb/Essek, Teen, bonding over childhood religious trauma) One Hit, One Kiss (Critical Role: Mighty Nein, Molly/Caleb, Explicit, semi-public sex & spanking)

The Witcher

If I Could Never Give You Peace Emhyr var Emreis + Wolf Witchers, Teen, Emhyr is very confused by why all these people want him alive but inclined to go with it) The End Is Where We Start (Duny/Pavetta, VERY minor Geralt/Jaskier, implications of Many Complex Future Pairings, Explicit, time-travel fixit AU)

The Sandman

Licking the Spoon (Dreamling, Explicit, touch-starved Dream does some sensation-seeking with Hob) Lying in Wait (one-sided Dreamling, Mature, Dream in captivity fantasizes about Hob Gadling) An Endless End (Dream & Death, Teen, thoughts on what happens to Our Hero post-The Kindly Ones, Softer than you might think) A Dream of Unusual Size (Dreamling, Teen, Dream is Smol instead of Big for once) Introduction to Goncharov Studies (Dreamling + That Whole Goncharov Phenomenon, Explicit, Dream just gets Really Excited about story-making okay) The Weather Outside Is Frightful (Dreamling, Teen, Hurt/Comfort) Held Now by This Love (Dreamling, Explicit, kink/bondage/shibari)

Rock Bottom of a Hallowed Ground (Never Refuse You #1, Dreamling, Explicit, Dream decides that the Hob Gadling of 1689 needs some looking after and takes him on a visit to the Dreaming) A Symbol of Your Exegesis (Never Refuse You #2, Dreamling, Explicit, Hob is wandering around the Dreaming and encounters Big Dream)

The Cabots - Cat Sebastian

Caleb Murphy Gets a Hug

My best story this year: Probably "Rock Bottom of a Hallowed Ground", I think?

My favorite story this year: "Licking the Spoon"

My most popular story this year: Also "Licking the Spoon" by a fair margin but I swear I would love it even if it weren't!

Most fun story to write: Probably "Introduction to Goncharov Studies"!

Story with the single sexiest moment: (So I am cutting and pasting these questions from a previous year and the answer to this question from 2018 began with "I guess it depends on how you feel about tentacles?" which technically is not a relevant answer this year because I haven't posted any of that kind of Dreamling fic yet, but it feels very apt anyway.) "One Hit, One Kiss"

Story with the single sweetest moment: "The Weather Outside Is Frightful" almost in its entirety.

Story with the single saddest moment: Logic compels me to at least consider that it's "An Endless End" but I don't think of that as a sad story? I think it's probably "Live Along Some Distant Day" or possibly one of the other ones with Caleb in them because I mean: Caleb.

My weirdest/kinkiest story as demonstrated by reader response: "One Hit One Kiss" wins the private bookmarks quotient with 54% private, edging out "Held Now by This Love" with 48% and "Whomever You Call Out to in the Night" with 45%. "Whomever" did win the highest ratio of kudos to comments (which I fondly interpret as the "I liked this but I don't want to talk about it" quotient) with 21.4 kudos per comment, just edging out "A Dream of Unusual Size" (21.3) and "A Symbol of Your Exegesis" (20).

My most startlingly wholesome story as demonstrated by reader response: "Caleb Murphy Gets a Hug" has just one private bookmark!

Hardest story to write: [2018 answer: Oh, God. All of them, in the first three quarters of the year.] Oh, God. All of them, in the first three quarters of the year. "The End Is Where We Start" probably takes the cake, since I started it back in October of 2020.

Biggest surprise: [2018 answer: Monsterfucking!] My total failure to finish writing hardly any monsterfucking, given that I got into this year's Big Monsterfucking Pairing in September! Also, getting into this year's Big Monsterfucking Pairing in September.

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most: Well, rope bondage made a surprisingly strong showing, but I think I wrote a lot of stories this year about people having their needs understood and accepted and getting what they need no matter how poor a job they do of asking for it, which is pretty on-brand for me, so I'll say that "Whomever You Call Out to in the Night" and "Held Now by This Love" kind of epitomize that (and are also the ones about rope bondage, and also the first and last one-shot stories I posted this year!)

Favorite opening line: Hob Gadling had a great deal to say about how much he had to live for, and no hesitation over saying it to Dream in a great rush of meandering detail. from "Rock Bottom of a Hallowed Ground"

Favorite closing line: It will be a nice problem to have. from "Lying in Wait"