#all because of a comment a middle aged man said. i felt so belittled for something that wasn't even all my fault

[zaggyzoo]

had such a bad and exhausting shift and my mom isn't even at home to tell her about it ☹️

[keijikunn]

Memories ─ part ii

── A @celestialarchiveshq collab “Connected by fate”

Pairing: Semi Eita x fem!reader Tags: college!au, kinda angst i guess, fluff, SLOW BURN, maybe strangers to lovers!au Summary: On the last day of the year, you dream of your soulmate’s most impactant memory that happened within the year. Each memory will be different each year. Word count: ~5.4k

Author’s note: Second part is up guys! Hope you all enjoy it, and please let me know what you're thinking so far! Reblogs are appreciated <3

WARNINGS: insecurity, mention of injury (it’s a broken arm), self-esteem issues, let me know if I forgot anything

MEMORIES’ MASTERLIST

2005 (age of 11)

The gymnasium was filled with the sound of the sneakers against the hard wooden floor, constant screams of “left!”, “right!”, “block!” and occasional cheerings when someone scored a point. Your soulmate was excited for practice as usual, the love he felt towards volleyball was huge, and the bubbling sensation on his stomach gave away he was excited for something. 

“Boys, gather up!” The coach called the team near the benches, everyone sitting on the floor in front of the man. “It’s time to announce which positions you’ll play for the next season, and possibly for the rest of your middle school years.”

A list of names got called, the younger ones assigned to variate between a couple of positions; the older ones were mostly spikers or middle blockers. With naive eyes, being able to score points for the team was euphoric, as if the weight of the world was on their shoulders. Your soulmate waited restlessly, a part of his mind wandering on his arduous training, trying his best to achieve his dream position in the team.

He called his name, eyes quickly to find his coach’s face. “You’ll be the on the start lineup as setter.”

Your soulmate gasped, his lips quickly turning upwards as he smiled in ecstasy. His close friends lightly punched his back and arms, congratulating his hard work. All the boy could think was his father’s words about how your efforts are paid back, just like his guitar classes. He thought about the countless practices he tried his best to improve, asking tips to his coaches and seniors, tossing a ball against his bedroom wall - only to hear Aime complain about it during dinner. 

It felt good, amazing even. He understood the concept of working hard perfectly, after experiencing it twice. Something inside him made himself feel unstoppable, as long as he has his determination to do better, he could achieve every and anything he ever dreamed about. Your soulmate had never felt such proudness of himself before, and he had every reason to feel like it. 

2006 (age of 12)

Semi’s relationship with his relatives was good, all his uncles and aunts were nice to him, his older cousins never really bothered him and the younger ones were funny to play tag games. However, the boy wasn’t excused of having a certain degree of dislike towards his same-age cousin Touma. Being born in the same year was great when they were little, playdates worked well and they’d always make each other’s company during boring adults reunion. 

Things started to change once they got older and started elementary school. Touma was constantly praised in his school, claimed as the best student in his year, with almost perfect scores and impeccable participation in events. Semi used to be happy for his cousin, but the feeling changed once the other started to brag about himself, belittling Semi’s achievements and efforts. 

After that, their relationship was never the same, and both of them knew it. The thing was that their mothers weren’t aware of the sudden change of affection between them, resulting in regular Sunday lunches over their place. It was uncomfortable the silence between them, the pair sitting on opposite ends of the large sofa, doing their best to ignore the other’s presence. 

“Aunt!” Touma called Semi’s mother, a too innocent smile on his face. “Did mom tell you that I’m the best student in my school? And the teachers want to subscribe me in a Math competition?”

“That’s great to hear, Touma-kun! You’re really smart!” His mother cheered way too excited, Semi noted, and the boy tried to recall every time he had big news to tell if his mom praised him like she did with his cousin. 

“Even the director talked to me about changing a few classes, saying Touma is capable of attending advanced classes.” His aunt gushed with pride. “And he’s even the best player in the soccer team!”

“Wow, Touma, you’re really amazing!” Semi was undeniably jealous at how easily his mother complimented someone who wasn’t her own son. He was furious at her, at Touma, but especially at himself for not doing better to receive the same praises. 

“I’m naturally good, aunt! I don’t have to study or practice more to improve.” His cousin stated, sending Semi and side look in a provocative way, like inciting him to fight back. “And what about Eita-kun?”

“Eita always tries his best in volleyball and guitar practices,” his mom started, fidgeting with the cloth she used to dry the washed plates. “He’s a hardworking boy, right, Eita?”

“Yeah…” he muttered in response, feeling his heart drop to his stomach. Did his mother lie to him about working hard on what you love? To earn her compliments he should be a genius, be born good at that thing and that’s that? 

The rage inside him was replaced by disappointment, even sadness. His parents lied to him just to make him happy because he was their son, it was their obligation to hype their children even if they weren’t that happy. Semi wondered if his mother would’ve lied to Touma if he was her son - and the answer came quite easily: she wouldn’t, because she had no reason to do so. 

At that moment, everything he believed started to fall apart. His concept of being good, of worth of praise and recognition. Years of proudness were thrown away in mere seconds, a mentality Semi built to face every challenge destroyed in the worst way possible: by his own mother.

I bet mom wanted a son like Touma, she’d replace me easily. 

I’m not good enough, am I?

The following days after the first rehearsal you had with the band, you and Semi met up more often to talk about your project, what you have so far and what do you wanted from him. Although Semi didn’t spare snarky comments towards you, he was cooperative and even suggested a thing or two. 

“So, what’s the lyrics?” Semi asked, both of you were in a small café near the campus. His long and slim fingers tapped the wooden table, while his left - and injured - arm rested near his body. 

“Well,” you started, offering a sheepelesly smile. “It’s your story, you should write it.”

“It’s your project, Y/n.” He tried to correct you, closing tightly his jaw in annoyance. Overall it was quite easy to read the singer’s body language, it being more expressive than his words. 

“My project is to produce a song - which I’ll do when you come up with the lyrics.” The man didn’t seem to be convinced, but either way let out a long sigh, bothered by the situation. “Whatever you want to tell the world, any suppressed feelings, I’m all ears to your ideas.”

Semi visibly was taken aback at your choice of wording, mouth slightly slacking and his brown pupils quivered as he lowered his gaze to the table. You knew it was rather dangerous to suggest something like that, giving the fact he resisted for a while before agreeing to help you. On the other hand, though, it was your only chance to get what you really wanted: a song filled with the deepest and rawest emotions. 

Much like your soulmate, the man in front of you closed himself from the others. The last 10 years, you dreamed about a very hard tempered, isolated and hurt boy and you didn’t truly understand those feelings. Semi, in your judgment (that you acknowledged could be completely wrong), gave off the impression he might understand him. Perhaps through Semi, you would be able to comfort your soulmate, because regardless of his belief or not in being destined together, you needed to do anything to sooth his doubts.

“Semi-san?” A male voice broke the silence you two fell into without noticing, lifting you head, you saw a rather tall guy standing by the side of your table. He sported a sharp and uneven haircut alongside with a tired expression, though his eyes were wide opened in surprise. 

“Oh, Shirabu.” Semi breathed out the name, also surprised by the sudden encounter. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah…” the awkwardness between them made you fidget in your seat, averting your eyes from them to look straight into your cup of coffee. “How- how are you doing?”

“Fine, actually- and you? Heard you were accepted in med school,” the singer commented. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” 

“Oh, uh- Y/n, this is Shirabu.” Semi introduced you two as you briefly exchanged a polite ‘hello’, a bit awkward by the situation. “We used to play in the same volleyball team during high school.”

“Oh, nice.” You reacted slightly rushed, the tension between the two previous teammates was growing as the seconds passed by. “Was Semi a good teammate? I’m playing support in his band and I can say he’s quite demanding.”

“Yes!” Shirabu exclaimed quickly, his nervousness showing off. “Semi-san was a good teammate and a respectful senpai.”

“Though you respected Wakatoshi the most, right?” Though you presumed Semi said that to joke around his underclassman, at some instance you felt bitterness hidden behind the playful comment. He laughed half-heartedly as Shirabu panicked to give him a proper answer. “I’m joking, relax.”

“I have to go, actually,” the younger man stated, offering the two of you an apologetic smile. “I have another period to attend… Anyways, it was nice to meet you, Semi-san, Y/n-san. Bye!”

“Take care!”

“Bye.” 

Semi relaxed his whole body after hearing the front door close, running his right hand through the ash locks of his hair. You observed him shift on the chair, too immersed inside his own thoughts to notice your analytical gaze on him. 

“Do you mind me asking why you look so shaken up?” Your voice was soft and lower, as if the choice of volume would prevent Semi from getting angry at you. 

“He used to play in the same position as me.” Based on the few knowledge you had about volleyball, you assumed it was possible for two players to share the same role in the team, so you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “We both were setters, he took my place on the start lineup.”

2011 (age of 17)

The third years arrived late at practice and the coach, even though knowing they had extra classes, screamed at them to change quickly. Unphased by the outburst, Ushijima, Tendou, Semi, Reon and Yamagata did as they were told so in order to start the warm ups. Each one of them took their position on the court, ready to practice their main abilities; however, Washijo called out Semi and Shirabu to the sidelines, a serious expression on the older’s face. 

“Semi, I’d like you to focus on your serves from now on.”

“What- why, coach?” Semi asked surprised, closing his hand into fists angrily. 

“Shirabu will be the main setter of the team.” Washijo stated, and for a moment the world has stopped moving in Semi’s perspective. “You’ll be the pinch server.”

“It’s not fair, coach! I’m-” the words died in the boy’s throat, giving up on arguing with him. Throughout the years he’s been trained by Washijo, Semi knew his decisions were made to improve the team’s strength and chances to win. Nothing would make the coach change his mind. “I understood.”

He bowed to Washijo and Shirabu before turning back to head to the end of the court, getting closer to those who were practicing their serves. Semi took a ball from the cart, smacking it to hit the floor a couple of times before tossing it into the air to serve. On the other side of the net, the ball landed near the fifth position, but the thought of scoring a service ace didn’t soothe the burning rage inside of him. 

Once again Semi was told right in front of him that he’s not good enough, he wasn’t needed on the court to articulate all the offensives against the opponent team. Of all people. He was subbed by an underclassmen. Semi Eita, a famous setter during middle school, who was accepted at Shiratorizawa through a sports scholarship. 

Angry tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them slip through his eyelids. No, Semi was too proud to let anyone see how frustrated he was; he wouldn’t give Shirabu the satisfaction to see him break down, even though his junior could not think like that. 

Years of hard working, training every single day to improve his tosses, every time he bent his fingers during practices. All for nothing. Semi felt stupid thinking that it would be enough, he should have learned years before with Touma. Efforts don’t take you anywhere if you’re not a genius. He should have known better. 

Serve after serve landed perfectly in spots other teams’ defense would break: between the first, sixth and fifth position; so close to the sidelines some players would think it would be out, just to be surprised by the referee pointing the flag to the ground. However, it wasn’t enough, not for Semi. At that moment, no service ace would make up the thrilling sensation of setting the perfect ball that leads the team one point closer to the victory. 

It was unfair how he was subbed during his third and last year in that team, after that season he would retire from the club’s activities and solely focus on university entrance exams. Washijo should know how he feels, especially because the coach himself couldn’t play because of his height. So why has he done that? 

His gaze unconsciously fell over the main court, where the spikers were practicing with Shirabu. Semi desperately searched for any fault in the setter’s tosses, in his posture and even in his movements around the other players, anything to point out to the coach as an excuse for him to change his mind about the situation. What angered the boy the most was the fact Shirabu had such clean moves and a great analytical vision - he was way more competent that Semi himself in the matter of technique.

What took the biggest toll on him, though, was seeing Ushijima and Reon hitting every toss with such ease and power. Their performance was better than when Semi was the official setter, he couldn’t recall any practice or game both spikers were surpassing their usually good performance. That made everything clear to Semi: he couldn’t bring the best of his teammates as a setter, he wasn’t skilled enough to help his team on every offensive. He had to accept it.

There will always be someone better than me, Semi thought to himself, panting from tiredness. I’ll never be the first option for anything, I should have known that.

You’re pathetic, Semi Eita.

End of October, 2017 (current time, age of 23)

To say you were nervous was a understandment, you’ve never performed in a live house before - and it definitely wasn’t like school presentations, as you tried to convince yourself. The fact that those people in front of the stage weren't there to actually see you helped a bit to calm down your nerves, though not enough to prevent your hands from shaking. 

“Don’t tell me you’re actually nervous, Y/n.” Semi teased you, earning a whine from you. The singer was relaxed - it would surprise you if he weren’t - with his arms crossed over his chest, carefully enough to put his right one over the other. He was looking good, you admitted to yourself, with black jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather black jacket. “You’re a music producer, you shouldn’t be afraid of the audience.”

“Firstly, I’m not a music producer,” you started angrily, narrowing your eyes at him. “And secondly, that’s why I chose to learn how to produce songs, because I won’t perform them.”

“You can either focus on a dot ahead of you, ignoring all eyes looking to the stage or,” he stepped closer to you, bending down a little so his mouth reached closer to your ear. “You can just look at me.”

You stepped back in surprise, feeling your cheeks heat with the exaggerated flow of blood through your veins. Semi laughed at your distressed expression, leaving you behind to search for his bandmates in order to prepare themselves to go on stage. You had no idea if the guy teased you on purpose or not, but it was effective: you were no longer anxious to be in front of people, but because you’d be next to Semi for at least 30 minutes. 

The moment you dreaded the most arrived sooner than you thought, a staff from the live-house ushered you four to the stage. Akihiko sat behind the set of drums, positioning himself comfortably to start; Takeshi plugged the bass on the amplifier, adjusting the volume as he strummed the cords. Semi stood in the middle of the stage, pulling the microphone stand in front of him up to get it closer to his mouth. Your hands worked quickly on setting up your guitar, earning you enough time to pay attention to the audience’s noise through the closed curtains. 

Before you could get lost in your own thoughts, a fixed and intense gaze on you pulled you out from overthinking. Semi’s brown eyes looked straight into yours, and somehow you felt a wave of calmness wash over you, deafening the sparse chattering around you. His lips formed a small smile, and differently from the sarcastic ones he usually offers you to mess around, it was genuine. 

“You can do it, relax.” He mouthed, you barely caught the words as the staff crew announced the band and the curtains opened. Returning the smile with a nod, eyes diverting its focus to Akihiko - who beat his drumsticks four times, starting the presentation. 

“Thank you so much for coming tonight!” Semi said on the microphone after the last song of the setlist, earning back a wave of screams and claps. “And special thanks to our support Y/n.”

The sudden attention you received startled you, but your response was to simply smile and bow to the public. You weren’t feeling shy at that moment, the adrenaline in your veins even made yourself enjoy the positive response from the public. As Akihiko came towards the stage and thanked everyone, the staff closed the curtains and Takeshi - who was closest to the exit - led the way out. 

“You did amazing, Y/n!” Akihiko beamed, throwing an arm around your shoulders. 

“I was so nervous, though!” You laughed with them at your answer. “But it was a good experience, I enjoyed myself out there.”

“Great, because you’re in the band for a couple more shows.” Semi announced with a smirk, only to that morph into a bigger smile. “I still have a few weeks with the cast and physiotherapy to attend… you better enjoy the spotlight, rockstar.”

All of you burst into laughter, heading to the backstage room you got ready before. The boys encountered their own friends in the process, and while you didn’t know any of them, you decided to organize your own stuff. Soon, your guitar was securely inside its case, a couple of makeup products were stored in the small bag you brought and your cellphone was stuffed in your backpocket. 

“Eita-nii!” A new, and loud, voice bursted into the room. The girl - who you presumed was Semi’s sister by the honorific she used - ran towards the singer, wrapping her arms around his body. The man himself reciprocates the gesture, although shyer than her. “You and the boys were great today! Oh- and who is that girl who played support? You’ve never told me it would be a girl! I thought you’d invited Kaito.”

“Hey,” Semi said louder, looking at you. The unsaid invite to come closer made you get up from your seat in the corner and walk towards them. “Aime, this is my friend Y/n. Y/n, this is my annoying younger sister, Aime.”

“Nii-chan!” Aime whined, quickly dismissing her brother as her attention focused solely on you. “You did so good on the stage! Eita has never told me he was friends with anyone new, let out a girl. I thought he was that antisocial that had only Akihiko and Takeshi-kun as friends.”

“I mean,” you giggled at Aime’s rambling, she was the complete opposite from her brother, which was endearing to see. “I didn’t know Semi considered me as his friends, once he thought I was hooking up with Akihiko.”

“What the hell, Semi?” The drummer jumped in the conversation, a grimace on his face. “I’d never do anything with Y/n- gosh I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“Should I say you’re the stalker who would leave me alone if I sang for your project, then? I can still change the status.” Semi teased you, in response, you lightly punched his left arm. “By the way, what are you doing here Aime? Don’t you have a curfew to follow? Does mom and dad know your whereabouts?”

“I’m not ten anymore, Eita!” She let out a huff in annoyance. “I’m twenty, remember that? A college student that has every right to enjoy herself on a Friday night after a tiring week.”

You let the two siblings bicker between them, taking in that new side of the singer you’ve never imagined he’d have. The usually cold, snarky boy also had a soft spot for his sister was also the common overprotective, caring older brother. You had to admit the duality in Semi’s personas suited him, and you felt like another side of his mysteries was presented to you. 

“Well, I have to get going…” you announced gathering your things up, hearing Takeshi and Akihiko’s protests. “I booked a studio early in the morning, I want to be productive, not a literal zombie going over a few samples. Not to mention the last bus will stop by soon. Thank you so much for your hard work, guys! And also, it was a pleasure to meet the better Semi, Aime.”

“I barely know you but I’m sure I’ll like you!” Aime hugged you, while Semi scoffed ironically. “Hope we meet again soon, Y/n!”

“Wait, let me grab my coat.” Semi stopped you from leaving the room after saying goodbye to both Takeshi and Akihiko. “I’ll take you to the bus stop. Who knows what could happen in the middle of the night?”

“And what will you do? Hit them with your cast?” You sassed, the man rolled his eyes, taking the small bag from your hands. 

The two of you left the live-house in silence, enjoying how the loudness gradually decreased and the city noises overtook your senses. You started to feel tired from the show just now, your eyelids were heavier than usual and your shoulder muscles ache due to the tension and nervousness you were feeling. Either way, you felt good, performing was nice - though if you had to choose, being inside a studio felt much more comfortable. 

“You did well today.” Semi spoke out of blue, with your peripheral vision you analysed him. His head was upwards looking to the sky, the corner of his mouth was tugged in a small smile and his posture gave off the feeling he was feeling satisfied. “You were so nervous before going on stage, but when we started, you looked like you’ve performed before. You have a talent.”

“It was the adrenaline.” Both of you laughed at your comment, silencing yourselves as you arrived at the bus stop. It was empty, which was expected given the fact it was almost one in the morning, so you took a seat next to each other. “I never imagined you were the protective older brother…”

“Trust me, you’re not the first one to tell me this,” he scoffed jokingly, a much softer expression adorned his face at the topic of his sister. “Aime is just… something else, you know? As her older brother, I think I have to shield her from being hurt - even if it means I get hurt”

“What, have you punched someone in the face because of her?” You joked, only to the laughter die on your throat at his positive response with a nod. “You’re kidding me, Semi!”

“I’m telling the truth!” He protested, a frown appearing on his face. “Some boy thought he could call my sister a bitch and leave unpunished. It was my very first fight, but as Aime’s brother, it was my job to teach that little shit a lesson.”

“Bet he punched you in the face, as well.”

“Yeah, but,” Semi stopped talking, inhaling deeply before turning to you. “You saw how she is, I- I can’t never let someone take it away from her. Nobody is allowed to hurt her like…”

“Like…” you tried to encourage him to speak after a few seconds, only for him to sigh tiredly and give you a meek smile. 

“Nothing… guess it’s just the cliché older brother talk,” the way he avoided finishing his original train of thought didn’t go unnoticed by you, but you let it go to not cause further embarrassment. As the two of you entered in a comfortable silence, you saw the bus turning into the main avenue. “The princess’ carriage has arrived, my lady.”

“Thank you very much for protecting me, my knight in shining… arm cast.” You giggled at your lame joke, taking the bag from his hands. “I’ll talk to you soon… regarding the project and stuff.”

“And don’t forget we have rehearsals.” Semi reminded you, getting up from his seat. The bus stopped in front of you, the two of you stared at each other not knowing what to do. Before you could turn and hop on the vehicle, the man ruffled your hair with a mischievous smile. “Good night.”

“Good night, Semi.”

1997 (age of 3)

The white corridors seemed to be longer in Semi’s perspective, his young perception didn’t allow him to estimate how long he'd been walking with his grandparents on that floor. What buzzed in his mind was the new piece of information grandma told him before leaving the house. 

“Let’s visit mommy and Aime-chan, Eita-kun.”

The boy was still confused why his mother had to go to a hospital to meet his younger sister - even though his parents had innumerous talks about this special day. Nevertheless, Semi was excited to see mom and dad after a whole day without them - and to finally see Aime. 

Grandad knocked on the door, gently pushing it open so Semi could walk in. The sight of strange wires and tubes on his mother’s skin scared him, bumping into the older’s legs. Sensing his distressed expression, his father came closer to him, scooping the little kid in his arms. Semi hid his face on the crook of his dad’s neck, avoiding eye contact with the starling objects near his beloved mom.

“Eita,” her smooth voice called him, he lifted slightly his head to meet her eyes, only to hide again. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Mommy is hurt…” he whispered, pointing to all the equipment near the bed. 

“No, buddy, mom is not hurt,” his dad denied, tapping lightly his back as an invitation for him to look around. “These things are making sure mommy is doing fine, she’s been pretty tired, remember we talked about it? How would Mommy feel tired after Aime left her tummy?”

An unknown whine filled the room, making Semi lift his head to search for the source of said sound. His eyes eventually fell on the tiny baby on his mother’s arms, opening and closing her mouth as little noises escaped through her thin lips. 

“Aime?” Semi pointed out, suddenly feeling curious. His father sat him down next to his mother, letting him have a better view of the baby. “Aime is small!”

“Yes, she is, sweetheart.” His mother agreed softly, pulling the blanket slightly downwards so her son could see Aime’s face. “But soon she’ll grow bigger, and you two can play together. Will you share your toys with her?”

“Only if she doesn’t drool on them!” His statement made everyone laugh, but Semi couldn’t care less, too entertained with his sister. “I love Aime.”

“You have to protect her as the older brother, Eita.” His father told him, coming closer to them. Semi nodded excitedly, lowering his head to leave a kiss on Aime’s forehead. 

2012 (age of 18)

All Semi could see was red as he approached Aime in front of a café. She was accompanied by her friends and some stranger boy, who was awfully close to his baby sister. The words a fellow classmate told him before they left the dorms for winter break rang through his head. 

“Hey, Semi, I heard a guy from another school has been hitting on your sister for a while. My friend told me she’s pretty bothered by him.”

“Aime!” He screamed, heavy footsteps marking his way over the thin layer of snow. The said girl turned around, a mixed expression between relief and fear on her face. Stopping in front of the boy, Semi opened a bit more his chest in order to look more intimidating. “What the fuck do you want with her?”

“None of your business, dude.” His voice was coated with anger, the short phrase said between gritted teeth. “I saw this beauty first, back off.”

“And I said I’m not interested!” Aime piped in with a squeak. 

“You heard her.” Semi stepped closer to him, locking eyes with the stranger. “Get lost.”

“This little slut is playing hard to get.” The world seemed to stop spinning, Semi took a second to process what that guy had the audacity to call his little sister. “I dare you to say this after I-”

He couldn’t finish his words as Semi threw the first punch right into his left cheek, knocking him to the floor. Kneeling next to him, the pinch server proceeded to get a firm grasp on the collar of his coat with the left hand, while his right one collided with the boy’s face repeatedly. Semi could hear at the back of his head people screaming at him, Aime calling out his name, but nothing would make him stop until that brat learned his lesson. 

The other boy managed to get a hold of himself, punching Semi on his sides - who lost his breath and received another hit on the face. On his tongue, he felt the taste of his own blood - and he wasn’t able to distinguish where it could be from: either from his lips or the inside of his cheeks. With his knee, Semi returned the blows on his ribs, quick to sit himself on the boy’s stomach. 

Every punch he gave seemed to increase its power, shifting between his nose, cheeks and mouth. Semi has never felt so enraged before, just remembering what he had called Aime made his body warm with adrenaline and wrath. 

“I dare you to call my sister,” Semi muttered between huffs of air, feeling difficulty to breathe in and out due to the intense body movement and the pain on his sides. “A slut again. I fucking dare you!”

Before he could do anything else, two men held him back, making sure to wrap their hands on his arms, and lifted him up. Semi, in his last act of anger, kicked the boy laying on the floor aimlessly. The other boy was aided by another man, refusing his care to get up and look straight into Semi’s eyes. 

“Watch out, asshole, I’m getting back to you.”

“Be ready to have a fucking broken nose.” Semi mocked him, and before he could continue his threats, Aime appeared in front of him with tears stained over his cheeks. “I was the one who got punched and you’re crying.”

“Are you insane!?” She asked distressingly, knocking on his chest - which made him lose his breath. “Why would you do that?” 

“Isn't it obvious?” He asked, gently freeing himself from the men’s grasp. “I’m your older brother.”

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For You

Chapter 7: Love

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Laying with Taemin should have been uncomfortable because a) I always slept alone, b) I had never been so (willfully) close to another person, and c) we hadn’t known each other long enough to justify my wish to stay so close forever.

When I pointed out in a whisper that we had only shared our first genuine conversation under the moon a few nights ago, I saw the outline of Taemin’s frown in the dark. His voice created small vibrations in his chest (where my head laid over his sky blue pajama shirt) when he asked, “Do you think I’ll have to love you for years before my feelings count?” 

As evidenced by the ragged breath that fell from his mouth, I hurt Taemin’s feelings without even trying. All that kept me from apologizing immediately was the fear that whatever I said might deepen his frown; so, instead of speaking, I felt around for his hand, pressed my freezing palm against his— warm— and threaded our fingers. 

“I really want to know what you think, Lei.” He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. 

What did I think? 

People rarely asked me, yet I tended to overthink my position on a given issue until I had exhausted every possible opinion. Maybe I was preparing for the occasion that never came— when somebody other than Lucas may value my outlook— until Taemin decided to wear my ribbon. 

Although I had thought of little other than Taemin since that night in the garden— or maybe it started that night by the lake— I had no concrete thoughts. That’s why I stuttered, “I— I don’t know. I want you to love me or like me—” 

Taemin said, “I do,” and I imagine that should have been the happiest moment of my life. 

So why wasn’t it? Why did that ache in my chest return? Why did I long for him as if he were worlds away when I was in his arms? When would this— our bond— feel real? 

“Then I want to believe you when you say that—” I didn’t pause to consider that I sounded like I was calling Taemin a liar— “but it sounds too good to be true.” 

Taemin must have realized that there was nothing he could say. We were at another impasse. Silence fell over us, and I didn’t want it to stay, so I spoke through the discomfort. 

“You have to understand who you are to me, Taemin.” Calling him an idol— stripping him of his humanity in such an intimate setting— was the worst thing to do. 

Tracing my thumb along his knuckles, trying to feel that he was real, I carefully continued, “You are somebody I’ve admired for years. Yours is a voice I cherished long before you had anything to say to me. I loved you before I met you, and—” I hoped he wouldn’t think less of me for believing, “the problem with dreams coming true is that you always wake up or the dream becomes a nightmare.”

Taemin must have been shocked by my honesty. Seconds or hours or eternities passed quietly before he said, “I think that you should learn to enjoy dreams— if that’s what we are— as they happen. I think you can ruin the night if you spend the time worrying about what could happen when the sun rises.” 

Of course, it occurred to me before that worrying achieves nothing. On some level, I always knew that I could benefit from learning to live in the moment— finding that balance between being a successful idol and being a happy person. Yet, it was as if Taemin had turned on the light with his gentle warnings that were always prefaced by the phrase, “I think,” because he was too humble to boast, “I know.” 

I already decided that I didn’t want to be lonely. 

Then, as silence fell again, I decided that I didn’t want to be incapable of appreciating beauty until it had faded out of my grasp. That’s why I lifted my head from Taemin’s chest: I wanted to admire him. I wanted to really see him clearly. 

I didn’t expect that he would be looking at me as if patiently waiting for me to return his gaze. 

Before I could sort through my thoughts, I was saying his name. “Taemin, I just really want you to be here when the sun rises.” 

If he was as shocked by the mid-night declaration as I was, he certainly didn’t show it with that radiant smile. “Okay,” was all he said before holding my head against his chest where I heard it: his heart was soaring, racing, beating for me like mine was for him.

. . . 

Interviews— although often uncomfortable— were never as unbearable as a solo artist as they were as a member of SuperM. Part of the issue was that, without my phone, I couldn’t scroll through social media to educate myself on the popular topics of gossip. 

It wasn’t so shocking when the first interviewer asked if Lucas and I were a couple. That question had been following us for years and (I guessed) the rumors about our supposed undying love were amplified by LX2’s existence. 

I was winded, however, when the rumors started to stray from Lucas. Almost daily, in my place between Ten and Mark (or English line, as the fans called us, since our knowledge of the language facilitated the American interviews), I sat with my hands clenched into tight pale fists, jaw set, as I waited to discover which member I was alleged to be sleeping with this time. 

The interview started, as they usually do, with a relatively unoffensive question: “Who from Korea do you keep in touch with while you’re on tour?”

The host was a middle-aged man— bearded and wearing glasses and a t-shirt— who twitched with every frequent sip from his coffee mug. He listened with feigned interest to the other members who answered with some variation of the fact that they stayed in contact with the members of their individual groups (except Baekhyun, who replied, “Super Junior’s Donghae,” just to watch my fists tighten in their place in the lap of my black skirt), before fixing his stare on me. 

“What about you? You’re a solo act outside of SuperM, right?” It was promising at first, the realization that he had done some research, but my hopes that maybe— finally— I was participating in a legitimate interview crashed with the following question. “Do you have a boyfriend back in Korea that you text every night, you know, just to tell him, ‘hi, I love you, I promise I’m not hooking up with any of my superstar bandmates?’”

Questions like that made my blood boil. He didn’t want to know my answer. He didn’t care who I talked to or who I loved. He just wanted to watch me squirm as he pried into my personal affairs. 

“Yes,” I said as calmly as possible, “I am a solo artist. No, I do not have a boyfriend in Korea—”

He raised his eyebrows, probably, in preparation to ask if my boyfriend was touring America with me, but I continued, “When I’m on tour, I try to find time to talk to Joy of Red Velvet or Amber Liu. If I need advice on something related to my performance, I’ll waste no time in calling Girls’ Generation’s Taeyeon.” 

Why didn’t anybody ever ask about my friendships with those girls? It seemed wrong that everyone should be so fixated on my romantic relationships — of which there had only been one that was held as our precious secret— when I would have been more than happy to share the friendships that shaped me as a person and as an artist. 

That interviewer seemed to share Baekhyun’s recently developed interest in making me as uncomfortable as possible. He asked the group, “So, was it hard to teach your new girl all of the choreography? Just how long did it take her to get it?”

In situations like that, I liked to think that I was somehow misunderstanding the question or mistaking the tone. Sometimes, that was the only way to keep myself from snapping. Sometimes, that was the only way I could sit there, legs crossed, without shattering my perfect posture and perfect smile. 

Ten’s temper was as bad as mine— worse, actually— so I didn’t fully succumb to my irritation when he rolled his eyes at the question. I didn’t acknowledge that I had a right to be uncomfortable, that the interviewer was truly being rude, until Kai leaned forward to tap Mark on the shoulder and request, “Translate, please.”

As soon as Mark translated the question, Kai replied in rapid-fire Korean that I couldn’t quite keep up with, “That’s a stupid-ass question. Lei isn’t in the group just because she’s a girl or because she’s pretty or because she’s popular. She’s here because she’s talented. And we’re not here to answer stupid questions that belittle our members.” 

We all stared at Kai as he sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting his lips. Ten and I, wearing twin stunned expressions, looked (along with the interviewer) for Mark to translate Kai’s answer.

“I — uh—” Mark stuttered— “Kai said, no offense— I added that part— but that question is kinda— no, really disrespectful to Lei.”

Ten agreed, jumping at the opportunity to strike the interviewer with his sass. “Yeah. For us NCT guys—” he gestured to the other NCT members— “although some of us are older, Lei is, like, our senior because she debuted first. We didn’t have to teach her anything. She teaches us.”

Mark translated Ten’s comment for the others, and Lucas and Taeyong murmured in agreement. 

I shook my head despite the affection swelling in my chest. “No, that’s not true. You guys teach me a lot.” 

The interviewer’s stare was all that kept me from saying that Taeyong taught me about leadership, integrity, and honest communication. Ten reintroduced me to the joy in dancing, which (for me) had become less of a soulful expression and more of a mechanical execution of choreography. Lucas taught me so much— too much to describe with words— but the most important lesson was to laugh like nobody is watching even though somebody was always watching. Mark reminded me that people— some people— even in the entertainment industry are good just for the sake of being good. 

And I loved them for that, so I declared, “I love my members,” including (of course) Taemin, Kai, and Baekhyun (even though he was a little demon). I meant it so earnestly that I forgot to consider how my words could be perverted. 

“Yeah, but which member do you love most?” The interviewer winked. 

Gathering from my glare at his perversion of “love,” the interviewer redirected the question to the other members, asking, “So we all know it’s happening— who’s sleeping with Lei?”

Granted, I was technically sleeping with Taemin. We would never admit it in an interview, but we had fallen into the habit of falling asleep in the warmth of each other’s embrace. Maybe, then, my blush was caused by the embarrassment of a) having such an intimate aspect of my life aired publicly and b) having it questioned with so little understanding and respect. 

Before I spoke my mind, Mark said the stupidest sentence in recorded history: “Look, man, as bandmates we’re all involved with each other, but we’re not, like, involved.”

Ten started growling, “What—” before I cut my eyes away from Mark to tear into the interviewer. 

Of course, he didn’t shrink under my stare or burn from the flames flung by my narrowed eyes. It didn’t matter that he seemed to delight in my reaction; I spoke the truth not for his benefit but for mine. 

“Aside from being disgusting— the fact that you can only look at me and see my worth as some sexualized creature— it’s appalling that you spread these rumors with absolutely no regard for how it affects my image and my career. These guys—” I shrugged in reference to the other members— “are expected to priorities their relationships with their fans above all else—”

“Don’t you think that’s a little ridiculous, though?” The interviewer slurped into his microphone as he took a sip of his coffee. “Don’t you think these guys should date if they want?”

Yes. Of course, I did. They deserved to do whatever would make them happy. 

“What they do is none of my concern.” The words were diplomatic, but my tone was not. “It is a problem for me, however, that this narrative painted by those, like yourself, in the media depicts me not only as a disgraced idol but— more importantly— as somebody willing to squander artistic opportunities by sleeping with everybody in a band. Learn to respect me as a woman, an idol, or a human being. Take your pick.”

My hand raised to detach the microphone from the collar of my white button-down top cut just above the navel, but it paused when he asked, “If the standards are so harsh on idols— especially women— don’t you think you’re obligated to challenge the standard?”

His question— spoken so casually as if he weren’t advocating mindlessly for the impossible— should have stunned me silent. It didn’t.

“No,” I said not because I was the perfect idol, not because I wanted to uphold that illusion in that moment, but because I was emboldened by the reality, “I am an artist, not a revolutionary.” 

Before the interviewer could challenge me further— before I could act on the pulsating desire to rip the microphone off, throw it onto the ground, and stomp it under my unnecessarily high red heels, Mom intervened with the muttered excuse that we had other events to attend. She even thanked that bastard for his time. 

I know that was her job— I knew that then— but I felt too angry, too betrayed, to look in her direction afterward. Our relationship wasn’t even remedied in the car when she returned mine and Lucas’s phone with the instruction, “Behave from now on. And brace yourselves for the incoming social media storms when that interview is broadcast.”

Lucas was so thrilled to have his phone, his true best friend, returned that he dropped his arm from its protective place around my shoulders. 

Instantly my screen lit from notifications of fans’ reactions to that interview. It must have been a live broadcast. Not quite ready to face praise or criticism, I locked my phone and shoved it into the narrow space between mine and Lucas’s body. 

With my face burning from the realization that there would be no opportunity to edit or retract any part of my outburst— not that I really wanted to— I rounded on Mark, who sat right behind me (beside Taemin who, of course, sat beside Kai). 

“What the hell was that about, Mark?” My imitation of his voice was so accurate that in the seat ahead of me, Ten threw his head back in a bitter sort of laughter. “‘We’re involved, but we’re not involved? What kind of stupid shit—”

Taemin had been smiling when I first turned around, but his expression turned to one of complete bewilderment. His understanding of the incident must have been limited by the interview’s language barrier. He whispered to Kai, “What’s wrong?”

As Kai (who had been donning a scowl that rivaled mine since his outburst) tried to explain the situation to Taemin, Mark stared at me with eyes so wide and guilty that I would have forgiven him instantly if I hadn’t spent so many years swallowing my frustration that I could no longer package my emotions back into their appropriate internal boxes. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark stuttered, “I didn’t mean to say something so stupid—”

“Well, you did!” Ten whirled around to yell at him, brows angled and ears crimson. “If that’s going to be your contribution in interviews, I’m kicking you off English line!”

Mark argued, “You can’t kick me off English line! That’s not how it works! As long as I know English, I’m on English line—” he laughed nervously and reached for my shoulder— “right, Lei?”

Usually, I probably would have laughed along with Ten before siding with Mark. Even in that moment of rage, I worried that I was being too harsh on Mark. It wasn’t really his fault that the media (and that interviewer in particular) was so problematic. Still, that concern didn’t prevent me from crossing my arms, turning around and tugging sharply out of Mark’s reach, and fixing my gaze on the back of Ten’s seat.

As if sensing that I wanted nothing more than to go deaf to Ten’s bickering and Mark’s incessant pleas for me to “please turn around” and forgive him, Taeyong tossed me a pair of earphones and an apologetic grin— if you can really call it a grin. 

Even after I plugged the headphones into my phone and tried to drown my anger in the music flooding into my ears, I rolled my eyes when Mom’s voice raised to snap, “Be quiet back there! I’m on an important call!” before saying into the receiver, “I’m back, Heechul.”

I could only vaguely hope that neither she nor Heechul would say anything loudly enough for Baekhyun, sitting in the passenger seat (one of the perks of being the leader), to hear.

Although Amber, Joy, and Taeyeon had brightened my day with their support, I didn’t feel like running to the pool with the guys when we returned to the hotel. While they were immersed in excited chatter, I beelined to the elevator, rejoicing when Baekhyun told Lucas (who must have been trying to follow me), “Give her space. If she’s anything like Momager, you don’t wanna be around while her temper is flaring.”

I wanted to be alone, but not because my temper was flaring. My furious blush had been abandoned in the car hours ago. Mostly, I was sorry for snapping at Mark— too sorry to look at him or even think of him without picturing the pained expression that settled on his face when I yelled at him— and bothered that my relationship with Taemin had been so misconstrued by that gross interviewer. 

Bothered wasn’t a strong enough word, but I don’t know how else to describe how I felt. It wasn’t quite anger; my face would have been burning still, and I would have been grinding my teeth and balling my hands into fists as I pressed my back against the cold wall. It was more like sadness (but without the pain in my chest) because tears were blurring the edges of my vision, and my lips were trembling. 

The tears weren’t quite ready to fall, so I was standing there with hands ready to catch them when he forced his way through the closing elevator doors. I don’t know if the doors were even closed before Taemin had his arms wrapped around me. 

Because I hadn’t expected him to be so close again until the moon rose, I gasped at the contact, too stunned to return the affection. It was over as soon as it started, over well before the sounding of the chime announcing that we had arrived on our floor. 

Neither of us spoke until we were inside the room, safe from prying eyes. Although we were still wearing our clothes from the day of interviews, although the sun had not yet set, Taemin sat on the bed we called ours— which was still unmade because we had to run downstairs after ignoring our first alarm that morning— and opened his arms for me. 

The version of me who crawled to him wasn’t the same person I had been for most of my life. The version of me who was comfortable with wanting Taemin, who didn’t feel weak for leaning on him— she was a good person. I wished to be her all the time. I was hurt by the outside voices that said I couldn’t be. 

Taemin didn’t ask me to explain why tears were swimming in my eyes, but I did. “I know that we can’t tell other people what we have. I don’t want to waste my breath explaining things nobody can understand anyway. But why do people who don’t even know us have to try to take what’s our and make it into something— something less than what it is?”

Taemin’s fingertips that traced the skin below the hem of my shirt were uncharacteristically cold; they made me shiver. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, “and I’m sorry that happened. I’m sorry I can’t carry more of the burden for you.” 

I looked at his face and saw it in the tensing of his jaw: the frustration that he hadn’t been able to understand when I was under attack, the bitter knowledge that (even if he had known) he couldn’t have defended me without arousing suspicions that we were in a relationship. 

Unlike the Lucas rumors that, despite persisting through years of rejection, carried no real weight because they were untrue, rumors about Taemin would have been suffocating because, to some degree, they were true. How would I be able to deny an outright allegation against us? Even if my words lied, my face would convey the truth that Taemin was my first love. 

I was going to tell Taemin that he didn’t have to carry any burden for me— I only wanted him to hold me like this every night to brace me for the next day— but when I looked at him, I couldn’t speak. He was dressed as Taemin the idol, and for a fleeting second, I transformed into the version of myself who couldn’t believe that he was real and in this place with me. 

“They can’t take what’s ours, though.” He linked our hands, smiled brightly, and he was real. “And that means nobody can make it less than what it is.”

Taemin pressed his forehead to mine. I imagine that he was giddy with the realization that our relationship— although unconventional and undefined (‘soulmates’ who weren’t ‘dating’)— was as significant to me as it had always been to him. I imagine that he might have kissed me if Mom hadn’t knocked on the door. 

As I leaped from the bed to answer the door, Taemin snatched something from his suitcase, slid into the bathroom, and locked the door. 

I carefully swallowed the red-hot anger I had been harboring toward Mom (since she thanked that interviewer for his time) before opening the door. She was on the phone again, but she held it away from her ear when I ushered her into the room. 

She sat perched on the edge of the still-made untouched bed, placed the phone by her side, and said, “You know, Lei, as your manager, I have to discourage you from ever repeating your behavior from that interview this morning.” 

Had I been able to find my voice as I stood there, staring down at her with tightly clenched fists, I would have wanted to spit back that I would say exactly what I said that morning every day for the rest of my life because it was true. The thing is, though, I think that kind of honesty was a once in a lifetime thing. The circumstances that prompted that outburst were a perfect storm; placed in an identical situation tomorrow, my voice might fail me. 

“But as your mother—” a bright smile overwhelmed her stern expression— “I have to say that I’m very proud of you for standing up for yourself!”

When Mom flew off the bed to throw her arms around me, I wrestled with the thought that maybe she struggled to find the balance between mom and manager as much as I struggled to find the balance between human and idol. I thought she was a good mom and a good manager, and I might have told her if she hadn’t released me to grab her phone from the bed. 

“There’s somebody else who wants to speak to you too.” 

From that mischievous glint in her eyes, I should have expected Heechul’s voice to burst through the speaker when I held the phone up to my ear. 

“KID—” he would always call me ‘kid’ no matter how old I was— “I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN AS PROUD AS I AM OF YOU—”

I smiled as I held the phone away from my ear, squirming at the realization that if Heechul was congratulating me, I must have been a rogue idol.

Had anyone been paying attention to us, they would have noticed that Taemin and I walked to the pool together. Of course, we were careful not to hold hands or allow our gazes to linger, but whenever Taemin was near me, I felt that there must be some outward evidence of our bond. 

I knew that it was better that the others were too engrossed in their volleyball game (except Ten, who sat on a sun chair in a well-shaded corner) to notice us until Lucas and Kai wildly beckoned for us to join the game. Yet, although I hadn’t so much as whispered to Lucas that there was something between me and Taemin, I was always slightly disappointed when none of these people— who were my closest friends— noticed what (to me) was impossible to ignore.

Taemin, clad in black swimming trunks, dashed to Kai’s side, but I explained my reluctance to join the game. “I don’t wanna get my hair wet.” Really, though, I didn’t want to shed my denim shorts. 

As I walked to claim the seat next to Ten, Baekhyun cupped both hands around his mouth and yelled, “Lei! Bring me a drink!” and pointed to a small blue cooler. 

When I held a freezing Sprite out to him, standing a safe distance from the edge of the pool because I expected him to pull me into the water, I teased, “You should really use your manners, Baek. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are nice words.”

He swam over to me, opened the drink, and winked. “Thanks. Ya know, you should follow your own advice and go thank Ten over there.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows at Baekhyun as he gulped the drink down in one sip. “Why?”

“Ah!” Baekhyun beamed at the can as if it contained the best drink he had ever tasted or as if it had been his first drink after months of wandering through a desert. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics, and he laughed. “Oh! Because he came up with the best plan to get Momager and Donghae— Momhae, as I call them— together!”

Miraculously, nobody turned their head at Baekhyun’s hollering. I blinked at him as if that were an adequate defense against his devilish smile and feigned ignorance as best as I could. “What?”

Knowing that he had done enough to get under my skin— he had done enough to flash his hand without showing all the tricks he held up his sleeve— Baekhyun shrugged. “Why don’t ya ask Ten about it?” He suggested before swimming back to the volleyball game, leaving the Sprite can empty at my feet. 

After tossing Baekhyun’s trash into the bin, I sat next to Ten. Pulling my sandaled feet onto the chair, I tried to study his expression to gather whether he actually knew about “Momhae.” Because he was wearing huge black sunglasses that covered most of his face, I couldn’t piece anything together.

I didn’t even know if Ten noticed me until a smirk tugged at his lips. “Like what ya see?”

I hadn’t even been looking at Ten like that, yet the suggestive lilt of his voice painted my face a pale pink. Maybe Ten couldn’t see my blush through his sunglasses, but I tore my gaze away anyway and sat back in my chair, arms crossed over my short cropped t-shirt. 

Ten lowered his glasses to delight in my reaction to his teasing. Something about that sparkle in his eyes annoyed me— emboldened me to reply, “No, not really.” 

Realizing that I wasn’t playing along with his flirtations, Ten’s jaw dropped (maybe to ask what was wrong with me), but I didn’t give him a chance to speak. “You shouldn’t be talking about my mom’s personal affairs with Baekhyun of all people.”

Ten only said, pitch high from confusion, “What?”

And I realized that Baekhyun tricked me into bringing Momhae up to another member. When he waved at me (just before Taemin launched the volleyball at his obnoxiously large head), I thought I could have murdered Baekhyun. 

Ten knew absolutely nothing about Mom and Donghae. He probably hadn’t considered anything about Mom’s life outside of being a manager until I opened my big mouth. Now, he was looking for me to explain my outburst, and I only had time to briefly thank God that I hadn’t mentioned Donghae’s name before Lucas plopped down onto the foot of my chair. 

I could have barked at Lucas for shaking his head like a wet dog and soaking me with pool water, but I was too grateful that he had come to dig me out of this awkward situation with Ten. Once he opened his mouth, however, I realized that Lucas was there to worsen matters. 

As if Ten wasn’t sitting right there, still staring at me, Lucas said, “Dude, Lei, I’ve been meaning to tell you since, like, the start of the tour that Taemin likes you.” 

Had I not known, I might have been as shocked as Ten, who sat up so quickly that his sunglasses fell onto the ground. “What? Taemin likes Lei?”

When my instinct was to hiss for Ten to be quiet, Lucas narrowed his eyes at me. “Wait. You’re not surprised enough. Did Taemin already tell you he likes you?”

I never stopped being surprised by how perceptive Lucas was. Usually, that trait made him a remarkable best friend because it enabled him to know when I was troubled without requiring an awkward exchange of feelings. In that moment, however, I wanted to kick Lucas for somehow knowing everything. 

I didn’t lie exactly. “I don’t think Taemin likes me.” I didn’t think; I knew.

Neither Ten (who just liked to tease everybody) nor Lucas (who just wanted to know every intimate detail of my life) was satisfied by that response. When they continued to pester me about Taemin, I had to adopt the same tone I used in the interview to scold, “Cut it out, guys. I still have to sleep in a room with him tonight and for the rest of the tour, and you’re making it weird!”

My heart was still racing after they ceased their demands for more information. I was so overwhelmed by the fact that I had almost shared my two deepest secrets— Donghae’s love for Mom (which was directly related to her true identity as the idol who never debuted) and my love for Taemin— that I retired to my room early without apologizing to Mark, which was the entire reason why I walked down to the pool in the first place.

[fantasyfandommaiden]

Chloe’s Very Odd and Out of the Ordinary Week

Chloe’s week has been weird, and no she didn’t mean weird like magical terrorist weird but weird in a sense that she has been feeling… odd, and doing things out of the ordinary for her… Chloe recounts the week to the counsellor during their weekly session.

~~~~~~~~

It had all started three weeks after Hero’s Day. Chloe and Sabrina were walking around doing their usual Saturday window shopping session .Sabrina had introduce the concept to Chloe, who still found it weird that window shopping had less to do with shopping and more looking, but she didn’t complain much about it, it did give the two a chance to look at the stores they wouldn’t usually go into. 

As they walked by a series of stores, Sabrina talking about her latest competition that was coming up and how much she hoped that Chloe could attend again (Chloe would of course, she made a promise to herself to attend every single competition), when she felt an undeniable urge to stop and  look to the side.

It was some sort of new age store from the looks of it, the window display had some incense and tacky looking wooden boxes, as well as some rocks, nothing too spectacular but for some reason Chloe couldn’t bring herself to look away. 

Sabrina, having noticed her friend had suddenly stopped, looked at the store that she was looking at the sign with a raised brow “‘The Fae Circle’... do you want to go have a look?” she asked, looking at her friend with a big smile.

Chloe’s face scrunched up in a scowl, her go into some tacky new age store? She could already hear her mother belittle her and her father trying to appease both her and her mother and failing miserably. Besides, it was beneath her and so not her style… but she couldn’t bring herself to look away for some reason. 

“Why not.” she stated before she could stop herself, opening the door and walking in, Sabrina walking closely behind. 

The store smelled of strong incense, however wasn’t overly powerful. The shelves all had different nick nacks, as well as rocks and different other oddities. One of those oddities was the man behind the counter, who was reading a book, and only looked up when the bell over the door rang. 

He appeared to be in his early 30’s and had long brown hair that was done up with several braids that was pulled back into a half up half down hairstyle, and bushy eyebrows. Chloe noted that despite the bushy eyebrows, he had facial structure that almost reminded her of a fox, with a triangle face shape, ember colour eyes, and a slightly longer nose. He wore a vee-neck black shirt that had a pentagram on it, but the most noticeable thing about the man was his tattoos on both of his arms, depicting different symbols and circles. The man, who’s name tagged stated his name was Garrick, rose one eyebrow as he closed his book, looking at the two girls. 

“Welcome to the Fae Circle, can I help you two find anything?” he asked, his voice was very deep, and seemed to rumble through both girls souls. 

Chloe was the first to respond with a shake of her head “Just browsing.” she stated simply, looking around. Sabrina nodded enthusiastically, spying some books in the corner and went to have a look at those as Chloe continued to stand almost in the middle of the store, not knowing exactly where to go, or why she even felt like she needed to be in here. Not wanted, but needed. 

Garrick continued to look at Chloe with a raised brow, however quickly glanced over at Sabrina once in awhile as she looked at the books, probably making sure she wouldn’t try to steal any, before looking back at Chloe. She was probably not his usual clientele, but he hadn’t made a comment yet, so Chloe wasn’t about to either, even though she felt the urge to tell him to stop staring rise in her. When their eyes met again, she felt as if he was sending her a silent challenge to say something about it, instead however she just turned around and walked around the store.

She decided instead to let her feet guide her, walking around the store, not really looking at anything with any true interest, finding herself close to where Sabrina was, where some tarot cards, gemstones and something called ‘rune stones’ were displayed. Part of her kept looking at a yellow stones (the paper stated it was a citrine) because yellow WAS her colour afterall, but for some reason her eyes kept being drawn to the turquoise instead, which confused her. It wasn’t that she didn’t LIKE the stone, it was pretty after all, but she didn’t typically like blue unless it was her eye colour. 

She hadn’t even realised she had picked up the grape size stone and was looking at it more intentionally until Sabrina mentioned how pretty was. Chloe’s eyes widened as she placed it back on the shelf, but found herself still staring at it, placing it right beside a tiny black stone bead that was roughly the size of her pinkie nail. 

“You know.” a voice said suddenly behind them, causing both girls jumped and whirled around to see Garrick standing behind them, he still had a bored look on his face, however looked down at Chloe before back at the rock. “When a stone calls out to you, it means that it wants to help in some way.” 

Chloe looked at him with a skeptical expression “And let me guess, for the low price of three dollars it could be mine?”

Garrick acted as if he hadn’t heard the comment as he pointed back to the turquoise stone that Chloe had been examining “Turquoise is a powerhouse stone. It drives away malice thoughts and negativity, helping you think more clearly and productively.” he explained. “However, if your looking to keep malice away I would also recommend onyx, instead of driving it away it will absorb it and turns it into good energy.” he said, pointing to the small black bead that was beside the blue stone.

Chloe continued to look at him with a skeptical expression, having no doubt in her mind that he said this to every single customer who came in “Were just browsing.” Chloe stated again, turning around and walking away. 

They stayed in the store for a fairly long time, not even realising that nearly half an hour had passed. During the hour Chloe would sometimes glance back at Garrick, reading his book.

“We should get going soon.” Sabrina said, looking at her phone “Dad will want me home for dinner, which your invited to if you like!” 

“I’ll think about it…” Chloe said, as she glanced back at the shelf where the rock was… she didn’t know WHY she was tempted to buy it. It was a tiny rock, she could get bigger, more beautiful rocks from the internet, yet still… she glanced at Garrick who glanced up from his book with a raised brow. “... thank you.” she stated simply. 

Garrick gave them a nod of acknowledgement before looking back down at his book as they exited the store. 

~~~~

During the first day of school that week, Chloe was in a fowl mood. Her mother had attempted to ‘talk’ with Chloe and ended up just demeaning her more, and called her ‘Kara’. The expression on her face must have been clear because everyone in her path parted like the red sea as Chloe walked through the hallways. 

Chloe found herself in front of Mlle Regal’s office about to walk through the open door to complain to the woman about her shitty mother before she stopped herself at the sight of Mlle Regal sitting at her desk. She didn’t have her usual aura of calmness that always seemed present whenever you were around her, her face had a slight scowl to it, eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at her cellphone. Her eyes were red as if she had been crying…

Mlle Regal looked over, having spotted Chloe, giving a small tired smile. “Oh, good morning Chloe… is everything okay?” she asked softly, putting her cellphone down.

Chloe, as if on instinct, was about to go on a rant about how terrible her mother was and such but found herself stopping at the sight of the red haired woman’s expression. “Is everything okay with you?” Chloe asked, looking at the window as if expecting an akuma to appear. 

Mlle Regal blinked at the question, not used to hearing it come from Chloe before giving a small chuckle “Oh, its nothing. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” the counsellor said, placing the cellphone in her pocket.

“Why?” Chloe asked, persisting with her line of question. 

Mlle Regal paused for a moment, looking at Chloe before replying “My mother was admitted to the hospital last night.” she said “Nothing serious, it was just a kidney stone, but it was a bad one, so I was still fairly worried… I think I only got perhaps two hours of sleep last night…” 

Chloe looked at her in shock “Why didn’t you stay home than?! You cant function with that little sleep!” she exclaimed, striding in. She was going to force this woman to go home and sleep!

Mlle Regal gave her a small smile “Chloe, I once stayed up for 28 hours due to insomnia, I’ll be fine. I will just have to take a nap when I get home after work today.”

Chloe scowled at that comment, before walking straight past the woman to her tea shelf, looking at all of the tins of tea she had before she found the most caffeinated one, earl grey. Than Chloe grabbed the kettle, which had been at a full boil anyway, and began to make Mlle Regal her tea, the only goal in Chloe’s mind was ‘This had better keep her awake long enough until she gets home!’ repeating over and over again in her head.  Chloe handed Mlle Regal a large mug with the tea inside, giving the woman a stern look.

“You need to finish that, and keep having more until the end of the day, which you will go home when the bell rings” Chloe stated as Mlle Regal looked at her with an amused smile.

“Provided nothing happens today I plan to… is there something you want to talk about today Chloe?” she asked Chloe. The blonde remained silent, remembering the real reason she had come this morning. To complain about her mother, and she was about to, but then she saw the tired smile in Mlle Regal’s eyes and how her mother was in the hospital.

Chloe could be a down right bitch when she wanted to be, but she wasn’t going to be one to one of the few adults that Chloe respected, so she decided to think of something else.

“What do you know about rocks?” 

Carmine blinked at the question, looking at Chloe confused as she brought up her tea cup to take a sip of the tea “Sedimentary, metamorphic, or igneous?” she asked, taking a sip of the tea only to stop and look down at the dark liquid with a confused expression on her face.

“Gemstones.” Chloe clarified. Mlle Regal still stared down at the tea, seeming lost in thought before looking at Chloe.

‘What kind of gemstone?” the counsellor asked, going to sit down at her desk as Chloe sat down as well. She had about ten minutes before she had to be in class.

“Turquoise.” 

Mlle Regal let out a soft hum, looking up to the ceiling as she thought “Well… it’s the birthstone of December, a beautiful blue colour, although I’ve heard it comes in yellow as well sometimes… why?”

“Some guy was trying to sell me on how they can ‘repel negativity’ or something like that.” Chloe said with an eye roll. 

The counsellor perked up slightly at that, smiling “Oh, it can. At least, that’s what it is believed to do.” Mlle Regal said smiling “It also promotes self-realisation, and assist with creative problem solving. I believe it also enhances the immune system and lungs, but I would have to double check one of my books to make sure.” she said smiling. 

Chloe just blinked, looking at the woman confused “... so wait, this is actually a thing?”

Mlle Regal continued to smile widely, standing up from her desk and walking to her book shelf “Oh yes, it most certainly is a ‘thing’. Each stone or gemstone is believed to have certain properties to assist with healing or purification.” she said, scanning the bookshelf with her finger as she looked at all the books “And I believe I have it… Here!” she pulled out a paperback book bringing it over to Chloe.

“This is ‘The Crystal Bible’, it has all of the stones that can be used for healing in it.” Mlle Regal said, flipping through several pages “Annnnd, yep! Turquoise is used to help with the lungs. See.” she turned the book around so Chloe could look at the page, which showed a turquoise stone and facts about it. 

Chloe just stared, gently taking the book and finding herself flipping through several of the pages. She was so entranced by it that the sound of the bell spooked her, making her almost drop it. 

“I’ve got to go to class!” she said, standing up, but glanced at the book in her hands.

Mlle Regal smiled “You can borrow it, just make sure you return it when your done.” she said, to which Chloe nodded before bolting out the door.

Carmine smiled, shaking her head as she sipped her tea again, looking down at it with a confused expression. 

She silently wondered why she felt her ‘second wind’ come on so fast, and almost didn’t notice how for the rest of the day she didn’t need as much tea as usual, however those thoughts went out the window when the moment she entered her apartment she fell asleep instantly on her couch as if by magic. 

~~~~~~~

For the next two days Chloe read the book that Mlle Regal loaned her. It was written in English, and luckily Chloe could speak and read English fluently (yet another failed attempt to get her mother’s attention, but still a skill that proved useful.)

She found it fairly interesting, which was weird. Chloe rarely enjoyed reading anything that wasn’t a magazine or a romance novel, or (even more secretly) manga, so the fact that she was essentially reading the equivalent of a textbook/encyclopedia and enjoying it was bizarra. 

Chloe actually looked through her jewelry box before going to school that day, and found that she HAD some of these stones embedded into some jewelry. She had some rose quartz, citrine, moonstone, and the like, which surprised her. She also found a very simple rose gold ring that had a small amethyst in it, she believed it was a gift from some distant relatives from a year or two ago. It wasn’t quite Chloe’s style (she preferred pure gold or silver over rose gold), but it was still fairly nice. 

Looking in the book told her that amethyst were used for intuition and protection, and were especially good if you were having a bad day. Chloe thought for a moment that if these actually work how everyone in Paris should have amethyst on them than, and placed the ring into a small ring box she had with the intent to give it to Sabrina. 

Arriving at school Chloe found that Sabrina wasn’t there, and checking her text message found out that she had a dentist appointment and would probably be there just before second period, and could Chloe possibly take notes during first so she wouldn’t fall behind? Chloe rolled her eyes, texting back a simple thumbs up, walking up the stairs as she walked towards the locker room to drop off her stuff into her locker and go to class.

Like clockwork class started with Marinette barely making it into the class before her name was called, Chloe would usually ignore her but found that the dark haired girl seemed… off. Mlle Bustier must have noticed too, because she asked if she was fine, but Marinette insisted she was fine, walking to her sit.

Chloe looked at Marinette with a neutral expression before looking back to the front, taking notes but not taking in the information, her thoughts elsewhere. Besides for Adrien, Marinette was the only one in class to not get akumatized, which was a feat in it of itself considering how Chloe had been akumatized twice now, three times if you counted Hero’s Day with the Red Hawkmoth. 

She had a feeling, deep down, that IF Marinette was upset enough to get akumatized, she would be a tough one. Like Syren, Evillustrator or even Stormy Weather levels of tough, maybe even more powerful than Queen Wasp (although Chloe loathed to admit that). Marinette was smart and creative, she thought outside the box and could think twelve steps ahead of everyone; she of course would be no match for her idol Ladybug, but she could probably take out Chat Noir with ease…

If she could take out Chat Noir with ease than that meant Ladybug would need help again. She may need Queen bee. Chloe felt her grip on her pen tightened as this thought crossed her mind. 

‘She doesn’t pick me as often because she always says Queen Bee isn’t needed, but I KNOW Marinette personally, I would be a great ally, than after beating Dupain Cheng Ladybug would see how well I do and let me keep my Miraculous and Pollen! Than I could be a hero FULL TIME! That would be amazing!’ a wide smile spread across her face as she tried to think of how to push the poor girl over the edge to be akumatized but stopped herself, a feeling of disgust going through her. ‘... but if Ladybug found out I let this happen, she would hate me…’ 

Chloe looked over at Marinette, who still seemed down, she barely heard the whispered between her and Alya about some person making rude comments about Marinette’s instagram posts that were racist or something along those lines, and Chloe scowled slightly, glancing at her bag beside her, a thought occurred to her. She hated the thought, she really did, but if she was going to prove she was a ‘good’ person, she might as well do it. 

Once class ended Chloe stood up so abruptly that it caused everyone to pause, as if waiting for her to say something as Chloe walked straight up to Marinette, who looked at her with a tired expression. “Chloe, I’m really not in the mood-” 

“You have a neutral tone, good.” Chloe stated, digging into her bag and bringing out the ring box “I’m donating all of my unused jewelry to people to make room for my NEW collection coming next week. I planned to give this to Sabrina, but she doesn’t wear rings often so here.” Chloe stated, forcefully placing the ring box into Marinette’s hands. Marinette glared at Chloe and looked to be about to say something before Chloe cut her off with “I also hear that amethyst apparently helps keep negativity away and gives protection or something like that if you believe it. Last thing we need is YOU getting akumatized.” she said, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder as she walked away.

Marinette could only stare at Chloe, before opening the box seeing the rose gold ring with the amethyst stone. It was a very simple, understated ring, very Marinette style.

If Chloe noticed that Marinette was wearing the ring on her index finger during second period, she didn’t say anything about it, and if Marinette found that her thoughts were clearer and that the negative comments on her Instagram didn’t bother her as much, she didn’t say anything either. 

~~~~~~~

That Thursday was the day where Chloe and Sabrina were going to go get a pedicure and manicure, and a hair appointment (both Chloe and Sabrina needed a trim, even though Chloe had stated that Sabrina would probably look AMAZING with some layers.) However their plans when cut short on the count of the fact that someone was following them, and it wasn’t one of Chloe’s bodyguards or her butler. 

She only caught them looking at the two of the because of the reflection on a store window, but she saw the intense way he stared at the two of them, and Chloe instantly felt a sense of danger at the sight. Chloe scowled slightly, linking arms with Sabrina and began to walk briskly down the street.

 “Were being followed.” she stated simply, and instantly Sabrina matched her stride as the walked down the fairly busy street. The man actually had the gule to follow them, Chloe was just letting her feet carried her down the street, trying to think of a plan. 

She knew that if they stayed to a busy street, the man wouldn’t try anything, but you could never be too careful. If she had the Bee Miraculous she would just sting them… or would that be an abuse of power? Chloe and Sabrina had to stop at a crosswalk as the light had turned red, causing Chloe to silently curse, noting now that not only was there a man following them but also a dark coloured car.

At times like this she really wished she could think as fast as Ladybug when coming up with plans, heck she almost wished she could think as fast as Marinette. Chloe bit her lip, looking at Sabrina as she gripped her arm, she needed a plan, a distraction, something!

The same feeling she had on Saturday occurred, the same odd, unexplainable feeling telling her to look to the side, so she did, and saw the figure of a man walking down the street away from them, with long hair half done in braids, and tattoos all over his arms. ‘Perfect.’ Chloe though as she pivoted on her feet, all but dragging Sabrina down the street with her. ‘What was his name again? Greg… Geralt… Garfield… Garry-’ the name finally occurred to her.

“Garrick!” she called out to him. The man stopped, looking over his shoulder lazily, seeing the two girls all but run up to him. Chloe resisted the urge to scowl when she noted that the man was smoking a cigarette as he looked at the two of them with a raised eyebrow “Were being followed.” Chloe stated to him, glancing behind her to see the man and the car still approaching. 

Garrick raised an eyebrow “... And?” he asked, flicking the ashes off the end of his cigarette. He didn’t seem impressed with the two of them, which made Chloe grow in frustration. In her mind she was still trying to figure out who the men were after, she knew most likely it was her, but Sabrina was the daughter of a police officer so she was likely too. 

Chloe glared at him, shoving Sabrina towards him “Just keep an eye on her will you!” she snapped, turning around as the man came up, trying to appear all kind and nice.

“Ah, Chloe! There you are! Your father asked me to come get you!” 

“Never seen you in my life. Leave.” Chloe snapped back, the man’s face noticeably twitching slightly. 

“Now, Chloe, there is no need for that. He asked me to get you and your friend back to the hotel-”

“And I said leave!” Chloe snapped back, but before a yelling match could occur the sound of a camera going off was heard, and both turned to see Garrick with his phone out, having taken a picture of what Chloe assumed was the man, still looking utterly bored.

“Sir, kindly don't take my picture”

“Shut up.” Garrick stated simply, his cigarette between his lips as he typed something into his phone “And sent.” 

The man seemed panicked slightly “W-Who did you send that to?!”

“My friend in the police department.” Garrick stated “Harrassing two teenage girls after being told repeatedly to fuck off is harassment you know.”

“I work with her father-”

“For crying out loud, I told you to shut the fuck up. Listen will you.” Garrick stated, stepping forward so that he stood in front of Chloe “Hey, you know this punk?” he asked Chloe as she scowled.

“Never seen him before in my life. I want him to leave me and Sabrina alone, and his freaky friend in the car too!” 

Garrick looked lazily over to said car that was waiting idely by about 20 feet away, letting out a groan “For fuck sake this is so fucking annoying.” he said, taking a long drag of his cigarette, muttering something about troublesome people who can just let things be. 

“Okay, here is what you are going to do-”

“I’m just trying to do my job”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Garrick stated, exhaling some smoke from his nose as he looked at the man “Here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to go to your friends in that car, turn yourselves in for whatever nefarious plans you planned against these girls, and never, ever, try this again.” the man all but commanded as he took another long drag from his cigarette, before blowing the smoke into the mans face. “Got it?”

 Chloe must have been seeing things because she could have sworn that the smoke as well as the embers at the end of his cigarette seemed to be blue in colour, but that thought quickly went away as she saw the man’s face turned ghost white as he dashed back to the van, ripped open the door and got in.

The van then drove away from the group, Chloe and Sabrina could only stare in shock as Garrick flicked the ashes off the end of his cigarette. “Man, what a bunch of idiots, trying something like that in broad daylight? Fucking morons.” he muttered, looking at the two girls. “... So why did you come to me? For all you know I could have been apart of that ragtag group.”

Chloe puffed her chest up a bit, taking a step forward as she glared at him, trying to make herself look at intimidating as possibly, which was hard since he was easily two feet taller than her, and looked at her with a very unimpressed expression. “You were nowhere near the guys following us, you had no way of knowing I would even bother trying to get your help, and besides, I knew you wouldn’t do that.” 

Garrick looked at her with a raised brow, bringing the cigarette to his lips again “Oh really? How?”

Chloe was silent for a moment, before responding “I just did.” 

Garrick remained quiet for a moment, looking Chloe up and down, not in a perverted way but as if he was assessing her for something. Chloe wasn’t sure what he was looking for, or if he found it as he blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth, away from Chloe. She noted that although he was smoking, it didn’t smell like tobacco but instead of… green tea? “Interesting… okay. What are your plans now?” 

Chloe looked back at Sabrina, who seemed a little shaken up, before back at Garrick “Were going back to your store to wait for our parents to pick us up.” Sabrina gently elbowed Chloe’s side as the blonde haired girl tacked on a quick “If that’s alright.” 

Garrick gave an indifferent shrug, licking his index finger as before placing the still burning cigarette on it to extinguish it and tossing it in a trash can “Sure, why not.”

~~~~~

The last ‘odd’ thing that happened was on Friday, the day that Chloe would go see Mlle Regal for their weekly session. Adrien had brought in his new hamster, who was just hanging out on the desk with Adrien giving it a small head scratch with his finger as he spoke with Nino. It was so cute, that Chloe couldn’t help but take a picture!

She brought out her top of the line Sony camera (which she was now always seen with) and took a picture of it, the main focus being Adrien and his hamster. She would forever be jealous of how photogenic her best friend was, even when he didn’t know he was getting his picture taken.

She brought the camera away from her face to examine the picture on the screen but froze at what she saw. Behind Adrien was some sort of greenish purple mist with fleck of orange, and the mist seemed to form some sort of person… the mist was originating from the hamster. 

“Oh my goodness Chloe!” Sabria whispered spying the photo on the display  “That photo is so cute! Adrien looks so happy! Will you show him later?”

Chloe looked at her friend shocked “It… doesn’t look weird?” she asked uncertainty. Surely her friend saw the weird mist thing?

Sabrina blinked, looking at the photo again “No? I mean, the lightning is probably not ideal, but overall I think it looks good.” she said softly “... Why?”

Chloe gulped slightly, gently gripping her camera “... Its nothing.” she said simply as the final bell rang. Chloe shot up from her chair, grabbed her bag “I’ll talk to you later Sabrina! I’ve got to go!” she said, racing to the counsellors office, getting scolded by several teachers to slow down but she didn’t listen. 

She hurriedly knocked on Mlle Regal’s door, hurriedly opening it before the woman had a chance to even finish calling out that it was open. Chloe walked into the office, closing the door and locking it, looking at the red haired woman who looked back at her confused.

“Chloe, is everything alright?”

“No. No I don't think so. Please tell me what you see when you look at this picture!” Chloe said, handing the woman her camera, who took it gingerly and looked at the display picture first with a neutral expression. 

Chloe observed as Mlle Regal’s face from from neutral, to a confusion, than shock as she looked at Chloe with a look of utter bewilderment “... Did you take this picture?” 

Chloe could only nod, as Mlle Regal looked back down at the camera. “Has anyone else seen this picture?”

Chloe bit her bottom witch, feeling nervous by how calm Mlle Regal was being. Could she see it or not? Why wasn’t she freaking out? Or was she freaking out on the inside and Chloe couldn’t see it. “Sabrina did, but she didn’t seem to react to the… thing in the photo.” 

Mlle Regal nodded, leaning back in her chair, appearing deep in thought, her fingers drumming against her desk, the only sound in the room the gentle clicking of her nails against the wood. 

Finally the woman spoke “Chloe, could you give me a copy of the photo?” she asked, looking at the blonde haired girl, her expression unreadable. 

Chloe looked at her, slowly nodded “Of course, but what is it?”

“Well, I have a feeling I know what it is, but I need to show it to someone first for confirmation, if that is alright…” Mlle Regal took a deep breath “And if turns out my suspicions are correct, then we need to talk.”

[jinkisbelly]

As Long as It’s You (Updated V.)

Heyo, so this is a rewrite of a story I wrote in early 2014 (can read here if you want lesser quality), and I’ve wanted to edit it for so long and finally managed to. I left it open ended in hopes that I could continue it if I wanted. AFF Ao3

Pairing: Jongyu

Rating: pg-13 for Jinki being kept as a prisoner, the mentions of blood and slight violence

w/c: 4.1k

Summary: At the end of the Battle Jonghyun is told one of their captives is a lot more special than previously thought. Onew, the heir to the Elven Kingdom. (Uh so I guess you could say Jinki’s nonbinary in this in that the elves don’t have a binary system like the humans do and Jinki just.. is what they are?)

The young man gently tapped his quill against the parchment before him, pondering how to describe the outcome of the lastest battle without giving too much away about their special captive. His father, the King, was waiting for his report back in the capital, but Jonghyun had to wait until he received his own reports before he could write them out. His men were out on the battlefield counting the dead, helping the wounded, and chaining the prisoners up in the tent in the middle of the camp. The armor on his frame was splattered with blood and was beginning to fatigue him with it’s heavyweight, but he’d keep it on until it was time for bed once the moon had fully risen. He looked up when he heard the deep cough of the captain of his guard. Jonghyun nodded softly and motioned for the man to continue. Minho bowed at the waist before tapping his fist against his chest as he straightened, “My Prince. The prisoner is secure and ready for your integration.”

“I take it they were cooperative.” Minho stared at him heavily causing Jonghyun to quietly laugh. “Not at all, got it. Lead the way.” 

This prisoner was house separately from the other given how important they were believed to be. As the small party approached the tent, the flaps were held open. Once nodding to Minho, Jonghyun ducked swiftly in. The inside of the tent was illuminated dimly by the lantern on the table as the flaps fell back to their original positions. It was the only thing in the space, besides the huge stake that was pressed into the middle to hold it up, and the creature handcuffed to it. It stared at him, it’s gaze a glare as the Prince moved closer to him. His golden armor was still on his frame, and where it should be scratched and dented it wasn’t.

It hissed at him as Jonghyun drew closer, but he just snorted. “Hissing at me won’t do you or your people any good.” The captive fought against their binds, knowing it was futile, as they spoke. Their native language washing over Jonghyun in an attempt to control him but the chains burned red against their skin and a groan poured from their lips as the spell was cut short. Jonghyun just laughed. “Don’t try your magic on me Elf.”

The Elf spat at him. “Don’t you dare touch me you filthy beast.”

Jonghyun just kneeled in front of the other, curling his fingers around the Elf’s metal armor and tugging them forward in order to get a better look at them “I will do what I wish. You may be the heir and a god in your stupid people, but here you are just my prisoner. Tell me what I want to know, and no harm will come to you.”

“Do what you want, but I will never tell you a single thing.” Sharp eyes glare as if trying to burn him where he stood.  An almost feral growl leaves the being’s throat before Jonghyun is spat at directly in the face. “I am not afraid of you.”

“Maybe you should be.” Jonghyun just wiped his face with his sleeve, and when he walked out of the room he nodded at Minho. “Tighten the chains. Turn up the awareness.”

Let’s see if you’re a little more talkative in the morning.

-----

They weren’t.

When the armor was untied and pulled off of them the Elf had snapped their slightly sharper teeth at the two men,  almost latching onto their bodies. Of course, those two soldiers never went near the tent or the creature again. When the medic entered to check their wounds, they managed to get up onto their feet and kicked the man’s legs right from under him before slumping back against the wooden stack as nothing had happened. Needless to say, the medic didn’t return when ordered to try again.

They refused to eat. Refused to talk. Refused to do anything but glare at whoever entered the tent, and do whatever they could to make them leave and never want to return again. The only one who did return was Jonghyun.

He knelt in front of the creature, eyeing them cautiously as he slowly moved to look at their wounds. They inched away, glaring hard as his eyes calculated the best way to make the other man leave. Jonghyun just scowled and sat back onto his feet. They reminded him much of a cornered animal, scared out of their mind and defensive, even if they refused to accept their fear of their current situation. “Fine, but if you don’t allow somebody to look at that, you are going to die.”

The Elf flicked their longer hair out of their face as they said with a hiss. “If it weren’t for these cuffs, I would be healed already.”

“That will never happen.” Jonghyun hummed quietly before shrugging. He wiped his hands on his pants as he stood. “Because if you are who I think you are, I don’t think letting them off is a very good idea.”

“I promise I won’t destroy everything. Just the filthy beasts.” The elf promised. “I’ll leave the horses alive.”

“I’m flattered you think of me as a beast, but you alive and not talking or dead means the same to me.” He turned to leave, “Hope you enjoy your accommodations.”

Before he made it out of the tent though, he heard the soft angry wait. He looked back to see the creature’s head hanging down, their dark hair falling in their face as they looked up slightly. “At least allow me to heal. Please.”

“Let me help you then.” Jonghyun countered.

After a moment the Elf reluctantly agreed. “Fine.”

And when Jonghyun approached, they didn’t pull away or attack. He was allowed to reach in closer and inspect their wounds. With gentle fingers he treated each of the injuries, wrapping their chest with clean linen bandages. From then on Jonghyun was the only one they would ever let near them, and Jonghyun didn’t know how he felt about that.

-----

Their races had been at war for as long as Jonghyun could remember. He had been born in the middle of the conflict and thrusted into the bloody war as soon as he came of age. His father never told him why they were at war with the Elven people, but it seemed that no one seemed to remember the reason. There were rumors, about how their King used a human woman and threw her back, or the one about the dragon egg being stolen by the human’s and how the Elves just wanted it back. Either way, Jonghyun was tired of the fighting and of the death.

He didn’t like elves, they were foreign magical beings that given the chance could kill him with a flick of their finger, but he didn’t hate them. He didn’t believe they deserved to be forced to fight humans, and die in thousands with his own men.

  They allowed the other captives to leave, leading them away from the large caravan and cutting their binds, but the special captive was kept. They were the Prince’s personal prisoner, always being around the man. They would walk beside Jonghyun’s horse with their hands chained in front of them, and if needed would be thrown over the Prince’s lap when they rode a faster run. Which is where the Elf was as Jonghyun pulled on the reins to slow the horse down.

Wiping their mouth with their sleeve, they bitterly commented, “You’d think I’d get to know your name before I’m thrown across your lap.” 

“My name means nothing to you.” Jonghyun grabbed the back of the being’s shirt and tossed them hard down to the dusty ground.

The Elf just sat on the ground and glared up at him as the man dismounted. “You know mine.”

“I know what you call yourself yes,” Jonghyun commented as he shuffled through his saddlebags. “But do I know your name? Thee name? No, I don’t Onew.”

Onew smirked, skillfully standing up without using their hands and cocked their head to the side to look at the man. “But no one knows that.”

Jonghyun rolled his eyes and continued to search for what he was looking for. Because of this, he didn’t notice when Taemin came over and tossed a piece of meat at the elf and yelled catch this, before laughing when it just slapped against the Elf’s face. Onew just sighed and shook off the meat. “Imbecile.” They muttered under their breath, and Taemin fumed off before he could hear his Prince chuckling to the single word the Elf said. Once he found the spyglass he turned to Onew. He lifted the cylindrical instrument to his eye and looked off into the distance as he asked, “Do you have a gender?”

“That’s rather personal.” Onew was sitting on a nearby rock, back straight as can be, one leg was thrown over the other. 

“I may dislike you, but I do have standards. I just wish to know what you go by. Man, woman, he or she. Unless you wish to be called creature for the entire time we share a space.”

“Elves do not hinder our young to a binary when they are born like your people enjoy doing.” They glanced up from checking the dirt under their nails. “I am neither a woman nor a man. You can call me Onew or what would you call it in your tongue... They. Yes, they.” 

“Alright. Understood.” 

------

Months passed, and Jonghyun was nowhere closer to getting what he needed from the Elf. He was losing his patience mainly because the longer this took, the harder it was to tell himself that he hated Onew. The amount of sass they held within them baffled Jonghyun immensely, but even when it annoyed him it made him smile. Onew loved to look down at the people around them, the customs and traditions, mumbling how uncivilized as they walked by. Even then as they belittled everything Jonghyun was, they were beautiful and bright. 

Not so long in the future, they would reach the capital and Onew would have to be handed over to Jonghyun’s father and his men. It was what was expected of him, what he knows he should be able to do very easily, but just the thought of giving the Elf away made his stomach twist uncomfortably. “Everything alright, Little Prince?” 

Jonghyun whipped his head up too quickly, his neck cracked causing him to grimace.“All is well.”

Onew lifted one hand just enough for the page of the small book held in their grasp would flip, smiling very softly as they returned to the words across the parchment. “You seem troubled.”

“How would you know?”

“I have no need for my powers to know there is a haziness with your thoughts.” They cleared their throat, glancing up quickly. “Not that I very much care to know, but you should speak to someone about your heavy thoughts.”

“Just not you, hmm?” 

 “If you spoke, I’d have to listen.” Onew shrugged, slowly lifting their hands, the chain attached to their cuffs jingling. “It’s not like I can go very far.” 

Jonghyun swallowed thickly being reminded so vividly of the crude methods used to keep Onew as their prisoner. He ripped his gaze from them, leaning heavily on his elbow. “To be honest, I’m starting to second guess giving you to my Father.”

“Oh?” For once, a bit of surprise slipped into their voice. “Why now?” 

“I still heavily dislike you, mind you, but,” Jonghyun pressed his lips together before sighing, reluctantly confessing. “As much as you want to believe you aren’t afraid of me, you should be of my father. He’ll kill you sooner than he’ll wait for information.” 

“I will never tell you what you wish to know about my people and your strategy. You will never let me go home.” The book was closed with a definite snap. “Which leaves you carting me around for the rest of this war or execution. Whether it’s by your father’s hand or in the middle of one of your squares as a public display, I was as good as dead the moment you captured me.” 

“If you told me what I wanted, I’d let you go.” 

Onew laughed quietly as they shifted as they brought their legs up to lay on the cot. “It is cute you believe that. Deep down you know your Father wouldn’t condone that.”

Before Jonghyun could think of a response, Onew had their eyes closed and he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Even if he somehow thought of a good enough thing to say after something incredibly right. Jonghyun had always believed he was fighting on the right side of history, but he wondered if the moral ramifications of keeping Onew captured knowing full well what waited for them at the end of this path was still right. 

------

Sealing the letter to his Father carefully with red wax, pressing their crest into the parchment, he carefully stood to hand it to the guard just outside the tent with orders to send this out immediately. When he turned back into the tent Onew was still sleeping on the cot. Usually, they would be moved to the bedroll across the tent, cuffs chained to the spike pressed into the dirt there, but Jonghyun couldn’t find it in himself to move them. Instead, he grabbed an extra blanket from the chest at the end of the cot and curled up on the bedroll.

When he woke up Onew was sitting a foot from him resuming reading yet another book and eating an apple they managed to get from the food brought into the tent for Jonghyun. 

-------

Onew squinted as they woke up, realizing the candle had been blown out, but with their increased eyesight Jonghyun could be seen across the way. He’s sleeping on the bedroll? The human Prince was intriguing to Onew. Much had changed in the few months they had traveled together. There was a softness to his being that wasn’t there in the beginning and Onew couldn’t put their finger on how that made them feel. 

  They should be figuring out how to escape and fairly quickly if their earlier conversation was anything to go by, but something made them want to stay. They just weren’t ready to admit that the reason was Jonghyun and the warm feeling filling their chest every time they gazed at him.

------

“How am I to bathe Jonghyun?” Onew asked as they stood behind him.

Jonghyun looked over his shoulder at the Elf, and quickly turned his head again. “I don’t know. Just jump in the river?”

The two of them were off a little ways away from the rest of the army, because Jonghyun disliked bathing in full view of his entire army. “I can’t necessarily wash with these cuffs on.”

“You’ve managed quite well these last few months.” Jonghyun huffed and walked over to him, “What do you want me to do? Wash you?”

He could have sworn he saw them smirk. “Well, you’re going to have to undress me first.”

Jonghyun just pressed his lips together but relented nonetheless. Before he knew it he was standing behind a very naked Onew, naked himself, washing the elf’s hair. He hated to admit it, but he loved the feeling of it through his fingers. It was soft and long, black as night, and he had to force himself to ignore how he heard the other being softly moaned as his fingers did their bidding. But then it was all over, and he was moving to climb out. Onew gripped his wrist between both of their hands, pulling him back closer. He whipped his head around defensively, but Onew was gazing at him softly.  Jonghyun looked at them confused, wondering if maybe this was a bad idea, but then Onew had their lips pressed against his own and all coherent thought escaped him. 

He rushed apart quickly, panic gripping his chest. “You won’t lure me into some false feeling of security.”

Believe it or not, Onew looked almost hurt. “Can I not genuinely wish to kiss you?”

“You are my captive. I have you in chains, so no, you cannot.”And with that, he promptly twisted on his heel and strode out of the water. “Get out quickly. Minho will be looking for me soon.” 

------                                                 

It was when a small party, of about a dozen men, rode ahead to check out the meeting point where they were attacked. Onew had gone with them because no one at camp was willing to watch them.

Minho quickly rushed to Jonghyun, because if anyone was to get to him they would have to go through him. The attackers were Elves, and for a moment the human company thought it was just a plan to get their heir back. As swords were drawn and the fight began, that thought became all the truer. Jonghyun wasn’t worried about losing a prisoner but losing a companion that always was there. He was afraid of having to watch Onew leave.

It was a split-second mistake, looking over at the elf at the wrong time, and the sword of his attacker was slicing through the air toward his shoulder, but the blow never landed. The attacker had been turned to dust right before his eyes, and he looked over to see Onew standing up, their left hand pointed out in front of them as smoke rose from their fingertips. Jonghyun blinked at them, heart pounding in his chest. The magic dampening cuffs were shattered at their feet, eyes glowing for a moment as their hair whipped around their head in the wind. But before anything else could be done, he felt the cool metal enter his chest. He heard Onew scream, and run straight for him. The elf that had stabbed him was burned to dust. Before Jonghyun hit the ground though, he found himself in the warm arms of another and looked up to see Onew looking at him. He thought back to their first kiss, the touches. 

But now, looking up at their beautiful eyes and their dark hair that was cascaded around their face, Jonghyun thought about none of that. Not even the fact his shirt was now drenched in his own blood, and he was probably about to die crossed his mind.

Onew touched his face, and a single tear splashed against Jonghyun’s cheek. “You’re so stupid.”

“You killed your own people.” Jonghyun mumbled, “You are free, but you can’t go back.”

“I don’t care. For weeks I could have freed myself but I,” Onew confessed. They ripped the metal of his breastplate clean open easily, then his tunic all the way and placed their hand over the man’s wound. Onew looked at Jonghyun’s soft, tired features, and bit his lip. “I stayed for you. I couldn’t leave yet.”

“What are... doing?”

“Say Jinki.”

“What?”

Onew leaned down, brushing their lips together. “Say my name Jonghyun.” They kissed him once, holding both hands over the wound and when they parted from him, Jonghyun said their name softly.

All he saw was Jinki’s face, slowly disappearing as white light closed around him before everything went black for him. He could have sworn he heard the Elf whisper one last thing.

“I love you.”

------

When Jonghyun woke up almost a week later, Onew was curled up next to him. It took some time to get through the fuzziness of his mind and memories but with the help of who he knew now to be Jinki, he pieced everything together. “Did I hear you correctly?”

“Hear me when?” 

“When I blacked out,” Jonghyun said. “Did you say you loved me?" 

Jinki blinked once, looking up at him through their hair before a small smile formed on their lips. "Why else would I give up everything just to save you?" 

"I don’t deserve this. I kept you, prisoner.” Jonghyun blinked at them. They were just a holder of vital information, a prisoner and something to use. They were something that his own people believed to be a monster and thought needed to be killed, but Jonghyun didn’t think that anymore, and if he was honest with himself he had always known it was never about this. Since the moment he laid eyes on Jinki, things that had once made sense no longer did. The single Elf managed to change his entire view, the dislike deeply etched into his mind, and at that moment Jonghyun was crushed with immeasurable guilt. “I’m so sorry...for what I did to you. For what I allowed to be said to you. You deserved better treatment.”

“I cannot fault you for the things you were taught but are unlearning.” Jinki tapped their nails on their knees softly, eyes closing slowly.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long were you pretending to still be a prisoner?”

“About a month and a half.” Jinki grinned widely as Jonghyun’s eyes widened.

“But how! Those chains were specially designed to hold powerful magic users.” 

Jinki hummed, a smile still curving on their lips as they pushed their hair behind their pointy ears. “They were designed to cause great pain when magic was used, but when you were not looking I would train myself to endure the pain until I had conditioned myself enough to shatter the chains as you witnessed on the battlefield.”

“You bamboozled my kingdoms strongest wizards.” 

They only shrugged. “I am what I am because I can do such a thing.”

"You know, I,” Jonghyun whispered uncertainly, “I love you too.” 

It was like the sun had bloomed across their face as Jinki smiled and took Jonghyun’s hand between both of theirs. “I knew that when you didn’t want to give me to your Father.” 

At the mention of his dad, Jonghyun grimaced. “Where… are we?”

“I took you back to your people.” Jinki rolled their left shoulder. “Got shot with an arrow for it, but I brought you back.”

“Are you okay?” 

“I’ll heal.” They stood as they cracked their knuckles gently. “They’ll want to know you’re alright. Took your captain vouching for me to be allowed near you.”

Jonghyun’s fingers shifted against the rough fabric of his blankets as he looked up at Jinki through his lashes. “Why did you stay? Your people are waiting for you.” 

Silence fell between them for longer than Jonghyun felt comfortable with, but before Jinki spoke again they returned to sit at the end of Jonghyun’s cot. Their legs were brought up and crisscrossed in front of them, hands clasped in their lap as they gazed at him. “Do you wish me to leave?”

“You have no place here. You aren’t safe.” 

“And you’d never be safe with my people.” 

With a shaky breath, Jonghyun mumbled. “I don’t want you to leave.” 

Carefully Jinki moved closer, cupping Jonghyun’s cheek with their hand and gently kissed him. “Do you remember why this war, our peoples’ hatred, began?”

“I’m not sure.” 

Jonghyun could barely focus on anything they were saying with the way Jinki was moving their fingers through his hair. “There was an Elven Priestess who was taken by a human near our Eastern Boarder. She was the head Priestess to the Moon, one of our great deities. She bore him a son. Once this child was found out to exist the local human authorities took it upon themselves to take the child from his mother to never be seen again.”

“A war was started over a single child? Hundreds of thousands of men and women and living things died over a child?”

“Not just any child.” Jinki shook their head. “There is a prophecy written on the stone walls of Our main Keep. I am an heir to our throne, but there is a being that my people call the Elven Heart. Most of them through the years have been trained to become the keeper of our entire history. It never mattered how many of us died to protect our lands as long as they were alive to teach the survivors and future generations of what made us who we are. The prophecy called for a child of the moon to be born with a father, unlike the mother, who is destined to truly be our Heart. One who would never need to learn from a text or scroll. One who would be born with the heart of the elves already deep inside of them. Your people took Our Heart. And we want it back.” 

“Your people truly believe those humans kept that child alive?” 

“We believed that any respectable father would wish their child, even half like them, no harm.” 

“And if this child is still alive and returned, the war would end?” 

Jinki nodded sharply. “At least on our end.”

Sighing deeply, Jonghyun’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment before they snapped open to gaze at Jinki. “Then I guess we have a child to find.”

“Are you comfortable traveling with an Elf that isn’t your prisoner?”

“As long as it’s you, Jinki.”

Slight sequel

[fangirlinsweden]

Blessing in disguise

This is the first fanfic I have ever written. And I have written it for @allaboutthebooz Boozies 400 Followers Challenge. English is not my first language so I hope you can forgive me for all my spelling errors.

The prompts for this fanfic were:

18.   One of them is sick

21.   Buying flowers for the other

Warnings: Belittling yourself, wearing and flirting. Fluff

Word count: 2390

Steve came into the kitchen where you were currently sitting on a chair drinking lemon tea with honey. You had been coughing for the last couple of hour and hoped you were not getting sick. You started coughing again and trying not to look at him, which was hard. He had his workout clothes on and was looking good enough to eat.

“Are you alright Y/N?” Steve wonder and he looks at you with a frown on his face. You tried to wave him away, but he came closer. When you stopped coughing you looked up and saw that Steve was standing right next to you.

“Yes, I am fine,” you said a little horse. He stood so close that you could feel the heat radiation from his body and you really wanted to give him a hug. You really needed a hug. You drank up your tea and felt his hand on your forehead.

“You are not alright,” said Steve and started shaking his head. “You have a fever. Why are you out of bed?”

“I have a mission in a couple of hours with Nat” you replied and you could feel how raw your voice was. Your throat felt like it was on fire. Maybe you were sick?

“You are not going anywhere,” said Steve and crossed his arms. You looked up on him. Why did he have to be so fucking gorgeous? You had never laid eyes on a man that was so good looking as Steve. And you worked with the Avengers. Where everyone looked like movie stars.

“Who is not going anywhere?” asked Clint when he walked into the kitchen.

“Y/N. She is sick. I am taking her to bed” Steve got you to stand up and you suddenly felt dizzy. Steve must have noticed it because he immediately lifted you up in his arms.

“I can go with Nat on the mission instead of Y/N,” Clint said and you saw the smirk on his face. You knew that both Nat and Clint were very aware of your feelings for Steve.

“Thank you” said Steve and started walking out of the kitchen before you even got a word in. You had to admit being in Steve’s arms made you a bit spacey.

Soon you were in your room and Steve put you down on your bed and you looked up on him biting your lower lip. You started getting nervous now that you were alone in your room. Not that you didn’t trust Steve. He was a gentleman. No. you did not trust yourself and your big mouth. You had been in love with him for almost a year, but he didn’t notice you. And you could not really blame him. You looked nothing like the women he had been interested in the past. You had met Peggy Carter and you were nothing alike that kick-ass woman.

You were a trained S.H.E.I.L.D agent from the beginning, but after you had saved Nat and Clint, you had become a part of the Avengers. You were best friends with Nat and Clint. They had taken you under their wings and helped you train to be even better than before. And you had never been happier. You loved being an Avenger and kicking HYDRAS ass. And over the last year, you had gotten a new family. Tony and Brue were like your older protective brothers. Wanda was a really good friend. You were almost the same age and liked the same movies. Bucky was your midnight snack friend. The times you woke up in the middle of the night he was usually also up so you would sit in the kitchen eating ice-cream and talk about whatever you wanted. Sam was your running partner. Every morning. And that was probably why you were sick right now. You had been running in the pouring rain this morning and yesterday morning as well.

“Y/N” Steve was trying to get your attention.

“Sorry, what?” you said and looked up and meet his eyes.

“Is there anything I can get you?” asked Steve and looked around your room. You pointed at a drawer.

“Could you get me pyjamas from that drawer?”

“Yes” Steve when to your dresser and opened... the wrong drawer. He looked at you with a blush on his face. He had opened your drawer full of panties. You tried not to laugh at his face, but it was hard.

“One drawer down, Cap” you snorted out and started coughing again. Steve went to your bed and open a water bottle that you had on your nightstand.

“Here drink this,” he said and handed you the bottle. You drank and when you had finished he took the bottle from you. He went back to the dresser and opens the right drawer this time. He took out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that you had gotten from Nat. It was a Captain America pyjamas set. You felt your face heat up. Steve just laughs and handed them to you.

“I didn’t think you would have one of these” he just said and shook his head.

“They were a present” you answered and could feel your face get warm. You just hoped that he didn’t see that you had two more Captain America pyjamas sets.

“Wait here a moment,” you said and walked into your bathroom. You changed as quickly as you dared to do. You were very dizzy and you could hear Steve pacing in your bedroom. You opened the door slowly and walked out into the room. Steve stopped pacing and turned to you. You felt exposed as you felt his eyes look at your body. He took a couple of steps against you and you felt your heart start beating faster. You were still dizzy and had to support yourself on the doorframe.

“You need to get some sleep” he finally said and walked over to your bed. His voice sounded almost rough. You walked over to the bed and crawled into the bed. Steve tucked you in and gave you a kiss on the forehead. He walked over to the door and when opened it.

“Thank you, Cap. I love you” you mumbled before you fell asleep.

Steve turned around really quick. What had you just said? Had he heard you right? You loved him? He looked at you laying there in your bed all tucked in. Sound asleep. Was it just wishful thinking from his side or had you said the words he had wanted to hear from you for the last couple of months. He knows just who to ask.

He left your room and closed the door softly behind him.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., notify me if Y/N wakes up”

“Of course, Mr Rogers”

“Where are Nat and Clint?”

“They are on their way to the Quinjet to go on the mission” Steve started walking to the hanger. He needed to talk to them.

“Hey, wait up,” said Steve and started jogging when he saw Nat and Clint getting ready to board the plane.

“Hey, Steve” they greeted him and smiled knowingly at each other. They had been trying to set you up with Steve for a couple of months.

“I have a quick question before you go on your mission,” he said when he stopped in front of them. Clint was beaming at him. “Do I have a shot with Y/N?” Both Nat and Clint nodded. They didn’t want to betray your friendship but they wanted Steve and you together. Steve smiled at them. Wished them luck on their mission and left them.

“I bet you that they are going to be a couple by the end of this week” Clint stated. Nat just chuckled. “I take that bet. I believe it’s going to take two weeks” she said and they boarded the plane.

*~* ~*

Steve had a big smile on his face when he walked into the kitchen. Bucky and Sam were arguing over something. Instead of trying to get them to stop he just sat down. They took notice of this and asked Steve what was on his mind. But he didn’t hear them.

“Steve, earth to Steve,” Sam said and gave him a Steve a nudge.

“What?” Steve looked at Sam and saw his smirk.

“You got Y/N to bed?” Sam asked and winked at him.

“Yes, she is sick” Steve answered. He knew that Sam was teasing him, but he didn’t want to comment on that so he let it slide.

“Are you finally going to confess your feelings for her, punk?” Bucky said and leaned against the kitchen counter. Steve locked at Bucky and started to blush.

“He is!” Sam called and laugh. “How are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know,” Steve said and looked at Bucky.

“You could by her favourite flower and just ask her out,” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Do any of you know what her favourite flower is?”

“Y/F/F” Bucky answered knowingly. F.R.I.D.A.Y announced that Fury had requested Steve and Bucky’s present. For a new mission. Sam saw Steve face and gave him a pat on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I will look after her” he said and sent Steve away with Bucky.

*~* ~*

A few days later, Steve was standing outside your door, with flowers in his hand. He had just gotten back from the mission a couple of hours ago and he wanted to see you. But he could not get himself to knock on your door. His nerves were getting the best of him. What if Nat and Clint were wrong? They were your best friends, but they could be wrong. He just looked at your door. Bucky went by and then he turns around.

“Are you going to knock?” he said looking at Steve with his head tilted slightly. Steve just nodded. Bucky sighed walked over to Y/N door and knocked on it. Then he walked away. Steve didn’t know what he was going to do. Should he leave? You opened the door and he froze. You looked beautiful. It was obvious that you had just gotten out of bed. Your hair was everywhere and your eyes were sleepy. You were still in your Captain America pyjamas, a different one than the one he had helped you with a couple of days ago. So you had two Captain America Pyjamas sets?

“Hey, Cap” you said with a sleepy voice and you were rubbing your eyes.

“Hey, Doll” Steve said and blushed. He hoped you hadn’t heard him call you doll. You stepped aside and let him in.

You had just woken up and here was Steve at your door. Why? When you closed your door and turned around you walked right into Steve hard chest. He took his left arm around you to steady you.

“Sorry,” he said and blushed again. A Blushing Cap you though to yourself as you looked in his eyes.

“You know when you are invited into someone’s room you really shouldn’t stand right behind them.” You tease him.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked you. And you nodded still locking up in his face. You bit your lower lip and you could feel him tense up. He still got one arm wrapped around you, the other behind his back. He gaze flipped between your lips and your eyes and you thought he was going to kiss you. He released his arm and took a step back.

“I got these for you,” he said and handed you the flowers that he had behind his back.

“Y/F/F! How did you know?” you asked and smelled the flowers.

“A little birdy told me” he answered and smiled at you.

“Clint,” you proclaim, but he shook his head.

“Bucky,” he said and looked at his feet. You stood there watching him and trying to figure out what he wanted.

“ So I….”

“Is there…” You both started talking at the same time. You laughed and your eyes looked. Steve took a step forward and placed his hand on your cheek. You blushed and wet your lips. His eyes were looking into yours and he leaned forward slightly before pressing his lips softly against yours. You became paralyzed. Steve fucking Rogers, the sexiest man alive was kissing you. He gave you flowers and now his wonderful soft lips were pressed against yours. And just like that Steve stopped kissing you. You open your eyes and he was no longer near you.

“I am sorry,” he said and walked past you to the door. You dropped the flowers on the floor and took a hold of his left arm. He stopped and you pulled him towards you. You got on your toes and kissed him. He seemed surprised at first then he kissed you back. You put your left hand up in his hair and your right one was at his back. You moaned into his mouth and after a while, you separated to get some air. You looked at each other and laugh before leaping at each other again.

“I love you,” Steve said against your lips. You smiled and lent backwards a bit.

“I love you too,” you said and Steve beamed against you.

“I want to take you out on a date, doll. Tonight.”

“Absolutely” you answered. “How about we start with breakfast now” He kissed you again. A kiss that made your legs feels like spaghetti. He took your hand in his and you walked out into the kitchen.

*~* ~*

Nat, Clint, Bucky and Sam were sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. When you walked in hand in hand Sam nudge Bucky that looked up from his mug of coffee. Nat and Clint also looked up and saw you two together.

“Finally,” Clint said and put out his hand against Nat. “I won. Pay up.” Nat shook her head. “They don’t have to be a couple just because they are holding hands,” she said. You sighed. And then you pulled Steve against you and kissed him. He kissed you back and you could hear Sam and Bucky cheering.

“So Capsicle finally admitted his feelings” Tony’s voice sounded behind you. You broke apart and laugh.

Steve put his arm around your shoulder. “Doll, let me take you out for breakfast instead. You nodded and you walked away.

[fallen029]

Remember Me: Novice.1

If there was anything Haven Dreyar resented, it was the freedom she saw the other children possessing while she, the eldest daughter of Master Laxus, had hardly any.

This wasn't wholly true, of course, considering the fact that she was able to go out on jobs and did spend a lot of her days, ambling about Magnolia, but still. She'd grown up hearing stories about how her aunts and uncles and family friends, as well as both her parents, were able to travel all about Fiore from young ages and fulfill their magical destines. She felt like she was being held back from that.

But Locke, Navi, and Ravan? Her two friends and one mortal enemy? Oh, they had all the freedom a child could ever want. And they did nothing with it.

That was the most frustrating part. Navi, fine, her mother tried to keep a reign on her, but her father sure did. It was much the same for Locke. They could, in theory push the limits and boundaries and they never did any of that. Any of it. It was so aggravating. And Ravan's sort of caretaker Erza would probably only beam with pride if he took of for the capital on a job above his qualifications.

If Haven had any of their parents, then she would definitely be on her way to being the best mage every by now. She was certain of it. But no, she had stupid Laxus, who never took her out on jobs with him, at least, even, because he was the stupid guild master and her mother, Satan Soul, one of the strongest people ever, she rivaled Erza, would only sigh and tell her that she had no desire to do those sorts of things any longer.

Imagine having all the power in the world (and between Raijin and Satan Soul, Haven was certain her parents did) and deciding to stay in stupid old Magnolia, at the dumb old guildhall. Was that not the lamest thing ever? Haven felt like it was the lamest thing ever.

It was so frustrating, all of it. She felt as if she were being handicapped by things that, under normal circumstances, would bless her. But her mother was scared of her going too far away, it seemed, because of what happened all those years ago to her Aunt Lisanna, and liked her to just take simple jobs. There would be the tougher ones when she was older.

And yeah, okay, fine, but what was Laxus' excuse? Something to do with stupid Ivan, she was sure. He never said it, he never would, but Haven was certain that a lot of his hesitance rode on that. And that was so dumb. Laxus was so dumb. She hated him.

He probably didn't want her to be strong either. She bet on that one as well. He sucked like that. He was probably afraid that if, like, she got super strong, without a lacrima in her, without a cheater magic like him, then it would make him seem weak and like a loser.

Yeah.

It had to be that one.

Haven had had enough of this one day as she sat around the guildhall, listening to her stupid little sister Marin and Kai, Ravan's idiotic brother, tell Evergreen about their adventures the night before. And, by adventures, Haven meant how they'd gone out with Erza into the city late at night, to pick something up last minute at the market.

It was so mind numbing and dumb and it just wasn't fair! She was being held down by everyone around her and forced to stifle her growth. This couldn't keep happening. She had to do something.

"I was real worried about getting lost, it being night and all," Kai was going on as Evergreen seemed, honestly, as disinterested as Haven. "Erza says next time it happens, she's going to ditch me in the middle of the city and make me find my own way home. She says it shouldn't be too hard, since she always sticks a map to her house in my pocket before I leave, but maps are super hard. I think I'm just not good with directions is all."

Evergreen frowned some at the boy and was probably going to make some sort of disparaging comment, but then Haven suddenly shoved up from the table in a loud huff and stomped off.

"What's her problem?" the woman of stone asked though she didn't move to follow or even call after her. She and Haven had an...interesting relationship, to say the least. Raising her drink to her lips, Evergreen took a sip, still only mildly interested in anything.

"I dunno," Marin remarked softly, watching after her sister. "I guess she didn't like Kai's story."

"No," the boy assured his friend with a shake of his head. "It couldn't have been that. It was very interesting."

Evergreen made a nose in the back of her throat before only saying, "Marginally."

Having left her aunt and sister behind, Haven marched across the bar floor to where her father sat with Freed at his side, the latter going over some paperwork while Laxus handled the mail.

"Go away, brat," he said before the girl could even speak. "I'm busy tryin' to pay bills. Don't got time for you."

"I'm here," Haven told him with a growl in her tone that about matched his, "to talk to you about guild business."

"As a member, eh?" He snorted then, still not even glancing at her. "Office hours are posted on my office door. Go check 'em, brat, 'cause they're not right now."

"Laxus-"

"Haven," he retorted in the same tone and she was seething now.

He was derailing her again. Belittling her. The nerve.

"I," she started again as Freed, finally, put his papers down and looked to her, "am gonna take a job."

"So? Seriously, Haven, are you attention deprived? Huh, brat?" He snorted again, her father did. "I'm busy. So-"

"Laxus." Freed gave him a look that time. "You can at least listen to her."

He got a look for that one, the rune mage did, but Mirajane wasn't around to make the dragon behave so someone had to at least attempt to. Still, it got the slayer to toss the bills on his hand down before looking down at his daughter, his face no longer so smug.

"What difference does it make, Haven?" he asked her, honestly, that time. "Go take a job. Why do you need to talk to me about it?"

"So I can go take a job?"

"Are you asking? For permission? Yeah, fine. Whatever."

"Any one? That I want?"

Finally, the man seemed to be catching on. He frowned at her a bit as he said, "No. Is that it? Why you came over here? You take one in the limits-"

"No. I want to take a real one."

"The ones you take are real ones!"

"They are not. They're dumb. I'm gonna go take one that I have to travel and stay over night somewhere and-"

"You are not."

"Yeah, I am, Laxus."

"I'm Master. I say no."

She was going to kick him then, in the leg. Freed could just tell. Though he wasn't as big a staple in Haven's life as Bickslow and Evergreen, given that they were involved with her actual aunt and uncle, he was around a lot. He knew her just as well as them.

"Haven," he said quickly in an attempt to stop what was about to happen. "Is there a job that you have in mind? On the board? Right now?"

He was the one derailing her then, Freed was, but his question did hold her up some as, yeah, she was probably going to kick Laxus with all her might and yell and scream at him.

"No," she said slowly, looking to the rune mage. "I don't."

"Why don't you go and find one then? Hmmm? And then return with it."

She felt as if he were being a bit tricky, Freed was, but she also wasn't too sure what his game would be. He was on Laxus' side, always, no matter what, of course, but at the same time, she could see no avenue in which her going to find a job would help her father more than her. Still, though Freed frequently seemed annoyed with her, he'd never outright attempted to undermine her, so Haven slowly did walk away.

At the very least, the action gave her a chance to calm down.

"She is not," the slayer growled at his most faithful follower, "going out of town on a damn job. Overnight? No. She's-"

"She's the age that we all were," Freed argued simply, "when we did far more."

"I don't care. Things are different now, then they were back then."

"How? Laxus?"

He wasn't sure. And it didn't matter. Instead, he only growled before replying, "We didn't have parents that gave shits when we were running around, doing whatever the fuck we wanted. I give a shit. I can't just drop everything and watch over her. To go get her if this all goes wrong. They're not like us, when we were kids. We were independent. These kids, the ones in this hall, they're not that way. I'm not going to let them go get themselves hurt or killed just to prove points."

"Laxus-"

"No, Freed. No. It's my daughter, my guild, my-"

"You have to let go eventually."

"She can go on serious jobs in a few more years. When-"

"You're being ridiculous."

"Do you have kids? Huh? That's what I thought." He huffed too, the slayer did, before adding, "You don't know, Freed. What it's like."

"You can't just let her play mage forever, Laxus. If you wish for her to be a real wizard, as you say you do, then-"

"Here."

Haven was back then, shoving a job at her father. He didn't take it.

"It's too," he told her simply, hardly even glancing at the request, "far."

"It is not!"

Haven's theatrics had finally attracted Laxus' true tamer and, rushing over, Mirajane frowned at the three of them.

"What's going on?" she asked as her daughter, once more, looked to be raring back to attack her father. "Laxus? Are you teasing Haven?"

"What? No. She's the one-"

"What's this?" And Mira moved to take the job then, from her daughter, glancing over it. "Who's taking this job?"

"No one," Laxus tried, but Haven was having none of it.

"I am," she said.

"No. You're not. You-"

"I have to! I can take jobs too." And this time, Haven stuck her tongue out at the man though, just as quickly, she was looking up at her mother. "Ravan can do whatever he wants. And Locke and Navi too! How's that fair? I'm way stronger than all of them and smarter and more responsible and just better. Why can't I go on jobs? I'll just go there and back!"

There were a lot of fallacies in her statements. A lot. Ones that both Freed and Laxus picked up on. But Mirajane only became stuck on a single thing she tossed out there. One that Mirajane had never considered before.

Erza's practical adopted son was venturing further and further into the path of her footsteps than Mirajane's full flesh and blood actual daughter.

This could not stand.

Haven had never had that before. Her mother in her corner. Or at least she'd never felt it. Mirajane definitely cared about her and she knew that, but she seemed many times to see her as an annoyance or a nuisance. At least that's how Haven felt. Everyone did. They all thought that she was annoying and a brat and they didn't want to deal with her. She was used to that meaning getting her way, when it came to others, but Mirajane seemed to be the only one that laid down the law with her oldest.

Not that day though.

No one in the hall had ever seen the little girl so happy. Ever. She was quite literally smiling and actually hugged her mother at the woman's words of agreement while Laxus had his turn then, of fuming and stomping off. Evergreen was finally coming over then, to Freed, to question what was going on, while Marin and Kai just stayed where they were, watching it all unfold.

"Wow," the boy whispered as Marin stayed silent. "Is your mom gonna be okay? I've never seen Haven hug a person before. Is that some kind of spell?"

But Marin kept quiet, even as her sister rushed back over to them then, knowing she had to hurry. Get out of Magnolia fast. If she didn't, Laxus might have a chance to overrule Mirajane and, while that didn't happen often, her mother siding with her was much more rare. No need to give lightning a chance to strike twice.

"Where," she asked Kai, "is your brother?"

"Why?" The boy was very cautious. "Are you gonna hug him too? Is this a trick?"

Just like that, her joy was snatched right out of her. Glaring, Haven repeated herself, this time in a much harsher tone.

"At Erza's," the little boy was quick to say. "I guess. But-"

"Are you going on a job?" Marin asked her sister slowly and Haven was glaring then, at the two of them, but she did nod.

"Yeah," she said simply. "On a real one. So I won't be home for a few days."

"Well… You should be careful," Marin offered up slowly. "If you're gonna go far."

She was expected a harsh response back from her sister, but Haven only turned, leaving them. She didn't have time to bother with the two of them. The babies. No. She had to go get the others. It was the one requirement Mirajane handed down to her.

She had to take the other kids.

This didn't bother Haven too much. She usually went out with them anyways.

Locke was the easiest person to convince. He'd seen the entire thing, anyways, over there with his father and mother. And Lily too. Haven only came over to glare at him and tell him to come on, or else he'd get left, and Locke looked to his parents, worried that his mother would make some sort of complaint, but they both nodded at him. Though Gajeel did caution him about one thing.

"Don't let that girl run you, huh?" he griped. "And don't get yourself into someone kind of situation? I don't wanna have to come get you."

He only nodded though before rushing off, because Haven seemed to be leaving him behind, and they went to collect Ravan next. He was very busy out in the backyard, training with Erza, and only glared when the pair came through the gate.

"What do you want?" He growled. "I'm bus- Erza!"

She'd caught him then, as he'd turn to stare at the other children, and rather than striking him with her sword, she'd kicked him to the ground where he only took to glaring up at her.

"You never take your eye off your opponent."

"We're only sparring!"

"My statement stands."

"We're going on a job, loser." Haven always found it best to just not mess with Erza. Ever. At all. Avoid her at all costs. She was probably the only person in the hall the little girl truly feared. "Are you coming or not?"

"No," he grumbled as he shoved up. "I'm busy. I-"

"It's in," Locke told him then, after having read over the flier himself, "Haiko."

"Haiko?" Erza was interested, finally, in the pair of them as she sent her dull training sword back to it's reequip space, just so she could cross her arms. "That is a long ways off. Your father knows about this, Haven? The Master?"

"He's the one who agreed to it," the blonde responded honestly. She knew better than to play tricks with the woman. "And my mother."

"Hn." Erza almost seemed pleased at the idea. Maybe. Then she kicked at Ravan. "Get up. You must join your friends on their journey."

"They're not," he growled, though he did get to his feet, "my friends."

Still, he left with them under the direction of the swordswoman and though he was still a bit pissed that she'd kicked him, he did nod his head when she handed down instructions to behave himself.

"You are representing the future of Fairy Tail," she informed the three children. "I expect you to carry yourselves in a a respectful manner. And remember, you either come back successful or not at all."

Even Freed would find that sentiment a bit harsh, but Erza was serious. She expected much out of the children. Ravan above all.

Navi was the last of the brood and she was, to the best the others knew, at home that day. They were a bit relieved, honestly, to find her there, saving them from having to search the town.

Her whole family was home, it seemed, from her mother and father to Happy to her two twin brothers. It was lunch time.

"A job?" Natsu seemed excited at the idea. "Sounds like a great idea."

"They're not asking you," Happy snickered.

The pair were at the table, scarfing down their meal, while Lucy stood in front of the two high chairs in the corner, trying to get the two little boys as interested in their meal as their father. Navi, who'd been eating as well, had jumped up to answer the door before, and now stood in the kitchen, leading her friends back there when they explained why they'd come.

"Can I go?" she asked her mother who frowned a bit at the idea.

"I dunno," she said slowly. "Haiko is kinda far and it's just the four of you..."

Unlike all the others, Lucy didn't have that sense of freedom young. She was alone, in a sprawling property that slowly felt like a prison. While she agreed, to an extent, that the kids needed to spread their wings to become true wizards, she had more practical, average parental parameters. Freedom was earned, sure, and Navi was typically a rather reserved child, but she was still that; a child. And freedom was far different from zero adult supervision.

"Mom." Navi was rare to argue with her, but if Lucy ruined this for her, she'd be mortified. "It's not that far."

"It's past Mt. Hakobe," the celestial mage pointed out. "And besides, what is this job? You guys will probably be gone-"

"Ah, Luce, let 'em go," Natsu insisted then, with a bit of a shrug. Glancing over the children, he said, "They gotta start somewhere. Navi's plenty ready for this."

"You don't even know what the job is," Lucy argued, but he only shrugged.

"I have faith in ya," he assured his daughter.

"I can go." Happy jumped off the table then, taking to the air just so he could go fly over to Navi and fall into her arms. "And watch out for the kids. If you guys want."

"We don't," Haven retorted as Navi only frowned down at the Exceed, though she held him closely still.

You gotta stay here, Hap," Natsu insisted. "Without Navi, you have to help out with chores."

"What?" Suddenly, the Exceed wasn't pleased with this new idea at all. "No way."

"Someone does need to take out the trash," Lucy sighed. "And me and Natsu are super busy with the twins right now-"

"Navi, you can't leave me here with them," Happy complained though, slowly, she was going to set him back down on the table. "This is torture! Unpaid labor."

"You live here for free," Lucy pointed out. To her daughter though, she only said, "You can Navi. Go with the others. But this is your one chance. If this doesn't go well-"

"It will." And she rushed then, first to hug her mother and then her father. "And I'll take out the trash. Before I go."

"Thank you," Happy said as she came to pat him on the head as well. "It's just not a fair chore for me."

"You make," Lucy griped, "most the trash, cat. It's literally all fish bones."

"Not all."

But most.

Still, Navi was happy to take out the trash and Natsu went down there with the kids, out of the apartment and to the street, to see them off.

"You'll do fine, Nav." He hugged her once more. Unlike the other kids, this didn't embarrass her in the slightest. Haven found her parents unnecessary and Ravan found Erza annoying, while Locke just didn't like to be teased, but Navi loved both her parents. Especially her father. No one could make her feel differently. "By this time next year, you'll probably be taking jobs like this all the time! Alone!"

But that thought depressed him a bit, because it meant without him, and Natsu only slid her some extra jewels, just for emergency sake, and then the children were off.

They were hardly to the train station before they had a fight and, for a good portion of the journey, Ravan wasn't even allowed to sit with them. Haven was that angry at him.

Still, eventually, the kids reconciled enough and they sat together as they looked over a map and discussed the job at hand.

The request read as follows:

Assistance requested!

Under the guise of providing aid following a disaster, a dark guild has taken hold of our city. Any help in ridding our town of them will be greatly appreciated.

"What's that even mean?" Locke asked with a frown. "What sorta disaster? And how did a dark guild-"

"You take help from anyone you can," Ravan snapped at him with a heavy frown, "when your town needs it. Idiot."

"I know that, but-"

"Are you guys sure that we can do this?" Navi, seeing the job for the first time, suddenly wasn't having fun anymore. In fact, she kinda wished her father or Happy was there. Or her mother. They'd know what to do when they go to the town. How to proceed. Have, Locke, and Ravan though… And her… What the heck did they know about anything. "I mean-"

"Of course we can." Haven turned her typical anger onto the Dragneel girl then. "If you don't think you can, then just ride the train back home, Navi. We'll do this with out you. I can do this without all of you. I-"

"How'd you even get Master to agree to this?" Locke asked then. "Haven? Why'd he say yes?'

"Why do you care?"

"I was just ask-"

"No more questions then." And she shoved the flier back into her pocket. "Just be quiet. And get ready. It'll be a long walk from the train station."

Ravan only snorted though, at the three of them, and took to staring out the window. He would never admit it, but he was nervous too. Erza told him that he had to go and complete this job. He had to. She hadn't been serious, he knew, about not coming back at all, but he didn't want her to think that he was weak. Or not capable. Because he was.

He'd prove it to her. Just like Haven would to her father.

Five chapters. After this, we start the one-shots that start the more rapid age progression for the children before we get back to the bigger, more important stories to finish out the series. We're nowhere near done, guys, but we're definitely setting the stage soon.

Next Chapter

Full Story on Fanfic

Full Series on Archive

[flatsuke]

Thoughts on Eisuke’s Season 4

Hands down, S4 has to be my favorite of all the Main Stories. In my opinion, it revealed so much about both MC and Eisuke, moreso than it did in any other story. Though I may have complaints about his S4 plot-wise, I have only good things to say about this story character-wise.

Disclaimer:

This is, in no way, a formal analysis. Rather, this is a compilation of thoughts and ramblings I’ve had about Eisuke’s S4. I apologize in advance if the organization is a bit wonky.

This is all my personal opinion, and you are not obligated to agree with me. In fact, feel free to comment your thoughts because I’d like to hear them if you have any differing ideas.

This is a long post with a lot of pictures.

There are going to be a ton of spoilers, so proceed at your own discretion.

Without further ado, let’s begin!

Thank you so much to @yoosungshoodie for talking with me every 1am about Eisuke insights :’)

@maidofstars @bolt8826 @kiserusmoke @tsundere-eevee @snarkymc @hobo4lyfe11 this might be relevant to your interests :^)

First off, I’d like to tackle a theme that appears throughout the game, but most evidently in his S4—namely:

MC’s severely low self-esteem

Throughout the game, MC’s internal monologue teeters from modest to downright self-deprecating. Being surrounded by such powerful men in a glitzy world full pomp and luxury understandably takes a toll on a person. However, I feel as if though MC in Eisuke’s routes suffers from this the most. Eisuke is a larger-than-life character who is set up to be the best at everything—be it appearance, career, intelligence, or ability. Compared to MC, who is constantly pegged by others (and herself) as “ordinary” and “plain”, she can’t help but feel she isn’t enough for him.

His S4 is peppered with these thoughts:

The most ironic (and sad) part of it all is that a lot of her self-loathing and self-sacrificial nature comes from her sheer love and devotion to Eisuke. In this scene, MC goes to Eisuke after putting up an item for auction (in order to raise bail money for Eisuke) and failing to make any profit from it.

In this scene, MC feels guilty that she and Eisuke nearly got caught by the police because she was too nervous to keep her composure in front of them. Eisuke’s quick-thinking saved them, but she still felt terrible about it.

In short, MC doesn’t feel she’s good enough a partner for Eisuke. What makes this even more ironic is that in the route right before this story (Scattered Cards), MC also struggled to be viewed as an equal to Eisuke.

Still, how does Eisuke feel about all this?

Eisuke in regards to MC’s self-esteem

Now, Eisuke is a confident person. He’s self-assured in almost everything he does, and he’s the quintessential embodiment of a self-made man. That being said, he also wants MC to feel the same way about herself. He wants her to be happy with who she is not just because they’re a couple, but also because he’s happy with who she is.

So when she puts herself down several times, Eisuke doesn’t only upset, he gets furious.

In the scene below, MC asks Eisuke if she’s a burden and suggests that she be left behind for so that he won’t get caught by the police due to her (perceived) uselessness. He becomes utterly livid at the mere suggestion.

Simply put, Eisuke does not find her lack of self-esteem endearing or charming. He loves and admires so much that the idea of anyone putting her down immediately enrages him—even if MC herself is the culprit. Eisuke wants to MC to value herself more, to be more selfish, and to love herself just as much as he loves her. Hell, he loves her so much that he would do anything for her—be it making it snow on a clear day or funding a date in outer space all because she commented about it in passing!

He acknowledges that, objectively, MC isn’t perfect. She’s naïve, she has impulsive tendencies, she can be a horrible judge of character, and she doesn’t have too much foresight. But even then, he loves her just the way she is.

Tl;dr Eisuke needs her, flaws and all. And whenever she belittles herself, he’s hurt because why can’t she see how much she means to him?

“I will never leave your side.”

This is the promise MC utters time and time again to Eisuke in his stories.

Taking Eisuke’s past into account, he was separated from his family at a young age and grew up in a cutthroat world where people were used and thrown away. Because of that, he had no concept of permanence or attachment when it came to people—at least, until MC comes into his life.

That’s why he’s so fixated with the idea of MC staying with him. Crass and tactless as it may be, whenever he says things like “you’re mine” or “you belong to me,” he’s actually trying to reassure himself that MC won’t leave him because everything and everyone before her never stayed. Eisuke isn’t easy to love, and he knows that better than anyone. But MC stayed with him despite all that.

So when Eisuke finds out MC is kidnapped and thrown in the middle of the ocean, he genuinely, visibly panics for the first time in KBTBB history.

Even after the bidders rescue her, Eisuke’s still shaken by the whole thing. When they make love in the bathroom, MC notes that Eisuke looks more desperate than usual. He, on the other hand, is still wrestling with the fact that MC almost died in his arms just a few hours ago.

When Eisuke asks MC to make a choice between their engagement and his life, MC (true to her nature) chooses his life. Eisuke’s distraught that she picked one of them instead of choosing both. The idea of MC not being in his life scares him, and, once again, he’s devastated that MC won’t understand that if she isn’t his life, then nothing would matter to him anymore.

He constantly needs reassurance that MC will be there to stay—which is why I think the last scene of his Engagement Cruise was beautifully appropriate to end the whole story.

S4’s recurring motif

If Eisuke’s Proposal was about family and his Scattered Cards about trust, then his Engagement Cruise is all about devotion.

In this story, we get to see just how much and to what extent Eisuke and MC love each other. MC was willing to put up an item for auction despite hating the auctions in order to possibly help Eisuke be freed from house arrest and police custody. Repeatedly throughout the route, she put Eisuke before herself in every decision (including hypothetical decisions) she made, even at the cost of her life. Eisuke, on the other hand, constantly tried to keep her safe from the people that targeted him, absolutely abhorred that she belittled herself for his sake, and did everything to save her when she nearly lost her life drowning.

Tl;dr His S4 is about how these two love each other so much it almost hurts.

Eisuke and MC aren’t perfect characters by any means, but the way their relationship and character develops in the narrative amazed me so much that I just had to make a post about it. If you ever feel like trying his S4, I highly recommend it! Thank you for reading this and I hope you like it :D!

[seriouslyhooked]

Scoring Your Love (Part 7/?)

Modern AU where Killian is a world famous soccer star who has hit rock bottom and been sentenced to the place where ‘football’ legends go to die – America. While here he crosses paths with Emma, an up and coming musician and film scorer who challenges everything he thought he knew and makes him want more than the game he’s always loved. Will be filled with fluff for days, and eventually rated M.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six. Story also on FF here and AO3 here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So another chapter is here and it’s the night of the first date! However, where I originally planned to have Killian and Emma’s POV in one chapter, I ended up writing something long enough that it feels right to split it in two. I know, I know, I can hear some of you cursing my name from here, but not to worry, the next chapter is already written and I will be posting it next week so the wait will not be too long! Anyway, before the date, Killian has a bit of a rough patch to get through, but rest assured we will end firmly in a fluffy place. I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for reading!

“So tonight’s the big night, huh?”

The question from David at the end of the day’s practice poked at the already present sense of awareness and apprehension that Killian had been grappling with since Emma accepted his invitation for a date this morning. David had held off on the interrogation during practice, despite the fact that Killian had clearly been distracted by planning and getting all of the details of his intended evening secured. It was a tricky task, but Killian was up to the challenge, and if he had to answer some questions from a well-meaning friend for a few minutes before heading out, that wasn’t the worst thing. Maybe it would save him a few minutes of pacing his apartment as he waited the acceptable amount of time before he could go get Emma.

“It is.”

“And you managed to get it all to work? The dinner and the castle and everything?”

“It’s not a castle, mate,” Killian replied before thinking of how to describe the huge estate that they’d be going to tonight. “And even if it were, that’s not the part that matters.”

“Of course not. Because why just woo a woman with a castle when you can also include some long cherished childhood memory?” David teased and Killian sighed. “But seriously though, you need any help or anything?”

“I think I know how to plan a date, Nolan,” Killian answered.

“Right but this isn’t just a date. It’s the date,” David asserted. “This one has to be right, man. Because if it all goes like I’m hoping mine will go with Mary Margaret, it could very well be the last first date you ever have.”

Killian didn’t have the ability to respond to David’s words. On the one hand they were cheesy and ridiculous, but there was a part of Killian that had been thinking the exact same thing. If things could already feel this right with Emma when they’d barely progressed at all, what was to say this relationship wasn’t heading in a direction Killian had never considered before? Chemistry like this didn’t just happen, and this sense of rightness didn’t come with every new fling. Killian knew that it made Emma special, that it made her more important than all the women who he’d known before her, but luckily he was saved from having to give a verbal response to his friend when a snort sounded from across the locker room.

“Shit, Dave, you really think that way, don’t you? Like life is some kind of fairytale or something.” Will’s words dripped with skepticism as he shook his head furiously. “That’s just bollucks! All of it is rubbish. Jones is going to go out, charm the girl, show her a few moves, and get her out of his system. At least he will if he has any damn sense at all in that thick skull of his.”

Killian’s hand flexed into a fist at the insinuation that he was using Emma somehow, but he bit back the instinct to bark at a man who, despite the comment, had proven himself to be mostly good. Killian took a steadying breath, reminding himself of something Graham had told him when he first arrived weeks ago. Once upon a time Will Scarlet had been the kind of man to believe in such happy endings and perfect matches, but the woman who he’d chosen to build those hopes with hadn’t chosen him back. As a result Will was about as anti-love and anti-romance as a man could be, and that was saying something given all the notorious players and commitment-phobes Killian had met in this sport.

“Is that the plan, Jones?” A female voice asked from behind him. Killian turned to the doorway where Regina Mills now stood and tried not to grimace. Their team owner was completely unfazed by the fact that this was a men’s area and that a number of them were in varying stages of undress, but then again Regina saw herself as a Queen and the others all seemed to grant her such allowances. “Are you dating this Miss Swan to ‘get her out of your system?’”

“Can’t see how my plans are anyone’s business,” Killian grumbled, holding his ground but it only made Regina grin wickedly as she flicked her wrist in a dismissive motion for the others.

“We need the room. Chop, chop.”

Despite how badly Killian didn’t want that one on one interaction, the others all obeyed the order, hustling out as she’d told them to. The only man who delayed at all in his leaving was Robin. He and Regina shared a look, and Killian was glad for what it said. His coach was warning Regina to watch herself, but Regina just shrugged and murmured some less than convincing promise not to make this too painful. Killian bit back a laugh at the thought – with Regina there were few kinds of interactions that didn’t end in at least mild discomfort.

“Now then, as I was saying,” Regina continued when the space was cleared. “You and this Swan girl – how serious is this?”

“Serious enough,” Killian responded. He was not willing to discuss this further with a woman he barely knew and who fancied that she had him on some kind of leash. Maybe the power rested more securely on her side of this dynamic, but Killian wasn’t interested in taking her crap to the extent that the rest of the team was. He’d resist as best he could while still preserving some kind of alliance between them.

“That’s what I figured,” Regina said, pulling a file from her purse as she did. She handed it his way, confusing him in the process but she went on to explain herself. “That’s everything there is to know about Emma no-middle-name Swan.”

“You’re kidding,” Killian said, truly thinking it was some kind of joke at first, and then he saw her face. “Are you mad?! You ran a background check? Why in the bloody hell did you do that?!”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Regina asked with a forced laugh. “I looked into her because you care about her, and since you are my team’s most valuable asset, I have to take precautions. We don’t want you falling into bed with the wrong kind of people, do we Killian?”

The rage that Killian felt in this moment was undeniable and impossible to tamper down. He could feel it boiling over, and biting his tongue would not do. The only hope he had was to quell it somehow, to choose a cold but cutting tactic instead of screaming in the face of the woman who owned his last chance at the career he had worked so hard for.

“I’m only going to say this once, Regina, so listen well: whatever usual play you have, whatever manipulation you’re hoping to wield, it will not work. What Emma and I have is private, it’s ours, and it’s not up for debate. I don’t want whatever dirt you believe that you’ve dug up. I will not be reporting aspects of my personal life to you in any capacity. And most importantly, I will not listen to you belittle Emma. Am I clear?”

“Crystal,” Regina said with a feigned sweetness. “Besides, we all have a past. And I’d say Miss Swan has done a good job of overcoming hers. I mean an Academy Award nomination at her age? That’s not easily done.”

“Excuse me?” Killian asked, not following Regina in the slightest.

“You didn’t know?” Regina asked, actually shocked. “Oh well, surprise! Seems your Swan is a prodigy of sorts and this year she got a little credit for it. Of course movie scoring doesn’t really mean that much in a town like this but statues are statues right?”

Killian didn’t bother responding, not knowing what to even say to these little morsels of Hollywood speak, and finally Regina seemed pleased enough with herself and her information dump to leave.  Killian meanwhile was reeling, not because of the discovery of Emma’s talents and distinction, but because of the way he’d found out. It felt important to him that when it came to Emma he leave the flow of things to her. For that reason he had resisted the urge to google her or look into her past, even when she’d told him of her work as a music designer. He’d been tempted all week to learn more about her, but Emma was a cautious person by nature, guarded and clearly hurting from some things in her past, and it felt unfair for him to know things she hadn’t told him yet. Trust had to be earned, and Killian was hell bent on earning all things from Emma.

Truth be told, however, his frustration with Regina, as strong as it might be, couldn’t stifle the immense surge of pride that came rushing into his heart for Emma. This happiness for her that bubbled up in his chest couldn’t be denied, and nor could the smile that appeared at his lips. Killian hadn’t known Emma very long but he knew she had to be gifted at her work. The way she’d talked about it and the way she was focused and driven and always pushing forward made it clear that this was something she had true passion for. That being said, Killian could only imagine her at the Oscars, dressed up, looking absolutely breathtaking but not truly being interested in any of it. Emma Swan might define beauty itself, but she was real in a way that would make an award show like that distasteful to her. Killian only wished he could have been there to see her in a state like that and support her in those hours of need.

“Bloody hell,” he said aloud then, having some things finally click into place. “That was her other engagement.”

Well now he felt even more like an arse than he had previously at his behavior. No wonder Emma hadn’t been bending over backwards to give up her plans and have dinner with him: the Academy Awards were more important than a first date with a practical stranger could ever be. He didn’t know whether to laugh or berate himself for it either, but either way it did no good to stay stuck in the past. All that he could do was be in the now, and ensure that this evening went as well as he was hoping. As such, he gathered the rest of his gear and headed out with only a few quick goodbyes to his teammates.

Though he’d only asked Emma out today, Killian had actually been planning this evening for some time. Two nights ago he stumbled upon the idea of a perfect first date with Emma but he stayed patient, looking for the right time to ask her. Thank God she’d said yes to tonight because Killian didn’t know how much longer he could wait. A week without physically seeing Emma had been hard, even with the phone calls and the texts lighting up each day. It was crazy, but he missed her when they were apart, even though they knew each other so little. But Killian had long ago abandoned any attempt at the ‘rational’ when it came to Emma. There was no trackable logic behind the emotions he already had, and in the end he had to do what David was always suggesting. He had to follow his heart in the hope that it would lead him where he so deeply desired to be.

Thoughts of Emma and of the upcoming evening consumed Killian as he got ready at home and then drove the span of road from his place to hers. Those thoughts were simultaneously good but also nerve wracking. Not since his year eight winter formal had Killian ever suffered such a bought of nerves over a girl. Even then, the fear had been sparked by the newness of interactions with the female sex and not the girl herself. But tonight, as he made his way through the streets of LA, Killian was beset with a showing of butterflies befitting a teenager.

Killian knew the stakes at play tonight and he felt the need for things to go well. It felt heavy, as if the weight of the future rested on his shoulders, but in the moments where it almost felt too much, he’d think of something Emma had said or the sound of her laugh, which he’d become more acquainted with during their phone calls the past few days. Those moments had a way of clearing out the uncertainty, and by the time he was at her front door he was clinging to hope even as he felt riddled with the energy of a momentous first date. He knocked immediately, not thinking of force or the number of knocks, only knowing that the sooner he saw Emma, the happier he would be.

Blessedly Emma appeared in seconds, opening the door and granting him a sense of peace in as she did, but no sooner had he calmed at seeing her then his heart beat skipped, his pulse went up, and his mind flooded with the vision that stood before him. Emma Swan was an undeniable beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, but tonight she had forsaken her usual comfortable clothes for a look so scintillating he nearly forgot to breathe. With her hair cascading over her shoulder in golden waves, and a red dress made of lace that wasn’t too short or cut too deep, but fit her to perfection, Emma would give any model or actress in this city a run for their money. Her green eyes were brilliant, looking at him with the same kind of hunger he was feeling, and then she bit her lush red lips before whispering her greeting.

“Hey, you made it.”

Killian didn’t have words in this moment. Hell, he didn’t have much in the way of coherent thought except to think that she was exquisite, but then he was moving towards her, guided only by instinct and need. Emma looked surprised for a second as his hands encircled her and his lips descended down upon hers, but as soon as they made contact Emma’s mouth yielded to his and the taste of her filled Killian up completely. He was consumed by Emma, and never wanted this to end. A kiss like this stoked the best kind of flame. It breathed life into a man, made him wonder if there was anything better the world over, and then assured him there wasn’t. It was soul searing and so sweetly sublime he hated to pull back, but then a voice in the back of his mind reminded Killian that this was not how things were supposed to be. You didn’t kiss the girl first thing. You had to convince her of your merit, show her the date you’d prepared, and then maybe she’d allow you such a luxury when the evening was over.

When reason returned to the forefront of his mind once more Killian stepped back. He tried to compose himself but stumbled with the words in his mind. By the time they left his mouth, Killian felt almost bashful, like a boy instead of the grown man he was. 

“Apologies, love. I lost my head for a second at seeing you. I’m sor-,”

Killian didn’t get the chance to finish that statement as Emma pulled him down by the collar of his jacket, filling the space between them again and taking command of her own kiss. This one, though not as intense as the first, packed an even more powerful punch. For Emma told him with this brush of their lips that she was in this too, and that she didn’t fault him in anyway for going on instinct instead of sticking the course.

“I couldn’t let you apologize for a kiss like that,” Emma said when they finally broke apart. Her eyes were watching him, and something she saw in his face or expression made her smile. She was already glowing, already this radiant creature he could barely behold, but with this warm smile, and with the sensually lingering lust coloring the jade of her eyes, she was nothing short of perfection. “Honestly I should be thanking you.”

“Thanking me?” Killian asked with a gruff laugh. “Are my kissing abilities so undeniable they deserve gratitude, Swan?”

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head as she ran her hand over his chest lightly, but Killian knew from the faint blush on her cheeks that she had given his ‘talent’ quite a bit of thought.

“I was thanking you for not making us wait,” Emma clarified. “I know I said we should take things slowly, but… well it’s been a long week of wondering, and now I know.”

“Aye, love,” Killian replied, not needing her to elaborate as his hand came to cup her cheek. He understood her meaning. It had been a given in his heart that Emma would be spectacular, and any kind of intimacy with her would live up to those heights, but still – to feel it was something else. He felt categorically changed by what had just happened, and yet he also had complete and utter faith that it would not be their last kiss, only the first of many. “Now we know, and there’s no going back. Only forward, together.”

With that final promise, Killian offered his hand to this woman who enchanted him, waiting only a brief moment before Emma slipped hers in his grasp. Then, without further ado, he led her to an evening that Killian knew would forever change him and start the path to a whole new life he’d never actually dreamed could be real. His only hope was that Emma would feel the change too, and that she’d find herself falling just as swiftly and surely as he was already falling for her.

Post-Note: Okay, okay! I know that I said the date was coming this week, and I realize that I have conveniently not shown a bulk of the date – but I hope you will all be satisfied with the very healthy dose of fluff I provided you all. I have written so many CS love stories at this point, almost all of them including a first date, but I always love the ones where Emma and Killian don’t want to wait for the end to share a kiss. For this story it just felt right to me that we have that, and I hope you all will agree and that you have enjoyed the chapter. As always, I am so grateful that you’re all reading and commenting and messaging me your thoughts. It’s so fun writing a new story and interacting with all of you about it and I hope you’ll all continue with me as the story progresses. As I said, next week I will be back with the second half of the date, and in the meantime I hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend!

[welovekpopscenarios]

Baby Face (Wonho x Reader)

Admin: Mimi

Prompt/Ask: Hi😁 I wanted to request an imagine with monsta x wonho, about the reader being 6 years younger than him and foreigner, and the reader gets insecure, something about hate or the members not feeling good about the age difference but with a fluffy ending😊 So a mix with angst and fluff❤ I hope I'm not being a burden for asking this much... I'm so sorry if I am...😓 Anyway I wish you a nice day and week💓 Thank you❤💓

Fandom: Monsta X

Genre: Fluff, angst

Pairing: Wonho x Reader

Warnings: Other than a few mean comments regarding looks, none!

Word Count: 2599

Authors Note: You aren’t a burden for requesting this at all, darling! This is an interesting ask! Wonho is my baby, I love him to bits so I’m happy to do requests for him (whenever we got them, I had to pass them to Candi because I was overloaded). I don’t normally handle underage relationship stuff, I’m not exactly cool with it, but seeing as Wonho is 24 and the reader is 6 years younger, making them 18-19 and just old enough, I deemed it ok enough to write this. Happy reading!

“Hey, baby face. You coming?”

Ah, there it was again. That dreaded nickname. ‘Baby face.’ Stemmed from Minhyuk as a joke on how…young you were in comparison to your boyfriend of one year, Wonho. And at first, you found it funny, laughing along with the others when he said it, after all, you were young (6 years younger than Wonho, in fact), and the group often saw you as a little sister to them.

But the nickname stuck. And while that normally wouldn’t have bothered you – a nickname is a nickname, and to receive one is sweet – but it’s the connotation that comes with the title that has begun to bring shame upon you, for yourself and for Wonho. Now the nickname just makes you self-conscious of the age gap, of the fact that you’re still figuring your life out when Wonho’s already settled into his, that you had just started life, and you don’t even know what you were going to do after school ends.

And the guys love you, really, but you remember how they felt when Wonho proudly introduced the girl he’s been sneaking out with to the rest of the group. How could you forget? How could you ever forget the uncertain and disdainful looks thrown to Wonho, the embarrassment that you looked like nothing more than a child to them. Wonho stood his ground when the others questioned the sensibility of your relationship, he loved you, you loved him, and that was that. He wasn’t prepared to get rid of someone who made him so incredibly happy, especially when he’s at his worst. He himself was unsure of the age gap, wondering if it was really wise to head into a relationship with someone as young as you, but when you smiled at him and told him you loved him, the decision was already made for him.

With time, the others came around to the idea, and accepted you as one of their own, using you as their secret weapon whenever Wonho was acting up, sharing jokes with you, talking and relaxing with you when they could. They loved you wholeheartedly, and helped to keep yours and Wonho’s relationship low-key. And after that hurdle, the insecurities slowly went away, and everything seemed fine again.

Until an accidental sighting of you with Wonho flooded everything Monsta X and K-Pop related, and a barrage of insults from ‘fans’ came flooding in through the internet and straight through your confidence.

Each horrible, dreadful word sent a knife through your heart and dwindled your confidence down to dust, blowing away in the wind as their comments burned away at your skin. It started with stereotypical jibes about your appearance – plastering words about your weight, your looks, your nationality on all forms of social media they could find, including your own.

‘How could anyone have a body like that? Disgusting’

‘She’s an outsider, what is she even doing with Wonho?’

‘Is everyone from her country as hideous as her or is she the snowflake?’

‘She has a really bitchy face, so ugly’

Then came the insults about your age, the sizable difference between Wonho’s and yours.

‘What is she, like five??’

‘Lol is he babysitting her or smth’

‘She’s a child trying to get into a grown man’s pants, he can do so much better’

All of these awful, degrading comments made you feel smaller than you were, younger than you already felt, like a child stuck on a playground while bullies threw stones and sand at your face, no teacher in sight to stop them. But it was the comments that attacked Wonho, that criticised him and belittled him for simply loving you, well. Those ones did their job well of filling you with guilt and making you feel so completely worthless, that you couldn’t even defend him properly in this situation.

‘Wow, is he really going out with a child? Ew that’s wrong’

‘Pathetic, can he not find anyone his own age?’

‘He shouldn’t be dating someone that young, he should be dating someone older, like me, not that baby’

What was even worse about this case, was that it planted seeds of doubts in everyone’s minds including yours, bar Wonho. The company obviously was not thrilled about this relationship coming to light, confirmed or not, and felt a scandal like this brought shame upon Starship Ent’s name, the higher ups sending haughty and unsympathetic glances towards the pair of you whenever you were together in the building. The boys were right back to square one; uncertain about your status with Wonho and whether or not it was really good for Monsta X’s name. While some tried to stay positive and stay firm in their happiness about your relationship, that doesn’t mean their gazes of concern or troubled expressions escaped you.

As a result of this mess, you’ve become more withdrawn and quiet despite Wonho’s attempts at reassurance. Your mind was a jumbled mix of various self-loathing thoughts – he was going to leave you because of the pressure this brought upon him, isn’t he? Or you’re too ugly for him, he most certainly could do better than you. Anyone could, couldn’t they? Besides, the members probably hated you now, you’ve tainted their name, which is something they definitely don’t need.

Yeah, things were crazy right now. And nothing was going well.

But what really drove a nail in the proverbial coffin was when you walked in on Shownu and Kihyun confronting Wonho in the living room in the dorm one evening after letting yourself in.

You heard their stern voices from the hallway as you approached the door leading to the living room, and gathered it was a heated debate that should not be interrupted. But just as you were about to leave, the use of your name in the conversation halted you in your tracks. Not being an expert in the Korean language yet, you struggled to understand some of what was said, but understood the intent of the conversation immediately when you recognised what they were saying.

“They’re using Y/N’s age against you, against us. Do you realise how bad it looks, how it looks on you?” Kihyun’s voice trickled into your ears, his exasperated tone hinting that they’ve been having this argument for a while now. You were too afraid to let your presence known, but peeked over the edge for a second to see Wonho pacing around the living room with an irritated expression while Kihyun and Shownu sat on the edge of the couch, staring at Wonho with faces that pleaded for him to understand their argument. Wonho sighed loudly and growled quietly in frustration, shaking his head.

“We love her, trust me, we do,” Shownu explained, and Kihyun nodded his head at his words, adding in that they loved you as a sister, before Shownu continued: “We just feel like it would be best to end things. At least for a while, to let everything calm down.”

Wonho laughed humourlessly, stopping to fix the two of them with an unimpressed stare, one that said Shownu’s advice was not good nor wanted. Kihyun groaned and rubbed his forehead agitatedly, Wonho resuming his pacing and walking the length on the living room and back in restlessness.

“Look, we know you love her, but this is a very tricky situation you’re in, and you can’t be seen as a creep for being with her. Just break up with her for now so it won’t get worse for you!” Kihyun snapped, and Wonho stopped pacing once again to glare coldly at Kihyun.

“’Just break up with her?’ Are you serious right now? You understand that isn’t an option, right? Or are you stupid? I’m not leaving her, not for anything. Yeah, the age gap might bother me sometimes, but does that mean I love her any less? No, it doesn’t. Do I wish she was a bit older? Yeah, maybe. Certainly would help, but does that mean I’d ever leave her? No. You’d understand if you were in my position, that you wouldn’t give up someone you love so easily because it pleases others,” he seethed, burning holes into Shownu and Kihyun as his chest heaved in anger, as if he had just completed a marathon.

“We’re only trying to help you,” Shownu argued but Wonho shook his head indignantly, not wanting to hear their excuses or poisonous feeling words any longer.

“Yeah? Well you can shove your help,” he sassed, backing himself towards the door and you quickly repositioned yourself out of view. Before you could run for it, Wonho appeared in your line of vision and looked at you, eyes wide in shock as he stood as still as a statue as he registered you were really here, standing here with tears streaming down your face, eyes alight in fear and hurt. Tears? You don’t remember when you started crying, but you reasoned it happened some time during their cruel suggestions. You heard the others question why Wonho was simply standing in the middle of the doorway, and this broke him out of his reverie, for in the next second he grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the dorm before they were aware of your presence.

You walked in silence, save for the rustling of fabric as he zipped up his navy hoodie and pulled his hood over his head, using the hand holding yours to bring you closer to his side as he lead you to one of the quieter parts of the city. Given the time of the night, the streets were practically empty of people except for a few stragglers making their way home from work. You didn’t say anything; not when Wonho tucked you in to his side, not when he wrapped an arm around you, not even when he kissed your forehead so lightly and sweetly it make your heart ache. He said nothing either, didn’t push you or apologise. Just walked with you.

You only spoke when you reached his intended destination – the only 24 hour ice cream parlour to be found in Seoul, ‘I Scream Ice Cream’, the place where you both had your first date. Opening the door and gently ushering you inside, you lamely mumbled “here?” making Wonho chuckle endearingly at you as he took a seat in one of the mint coloured booths. He gestured for you to take the seat opposite him, and you slid into the familiar seat, deflating into the cushioned seats. You didn’t even need to look at the menu, already knowing you were going to order your favoured waffles with ice cream – a warm treat at night, but Wonho looked over the menu, skimming over it rather than actually understanding the words in front of him, using the extra time to seemingly think over what he was going to say. Giving the orders to the waitress for both of you, it was silent again as he stared at you, causing you to drop your eyes to your hands that lay on the table, fiddling your fingers.

He placed his large, calloused hands on top of yours, turning your palms face up, tracing little designs and patterns into your skin as he smiled gently at you. You blushed lightly, even after all this time he still had that power over you, the ability to make you melt at the lightest of touches. But this wasn’t enough to make you forget about the conversation you heard. Clearing your throat uncomfortably, you kept your gaze on his hands.

“Maybe they were right,” you whispered, fighting back the urge to puke at even agreeing with the notion of Wonho leaving. You’d be so completely empty if he did. But if it helped him, then you’d do it. You’d do anything for him. “Maybe you should leave me. I don’t like how people have been attacking you over this, you don’t deserve it. I’m just causing everything to get so much worse, so maybe I should ju-“

“Nope.”

You looked up, startled, meeting his stare as he returned your bemused look with an innocent smile of his own.

“Excuse me?” you asked.

“I said, nope!”

You rose a brow in confusion, but Wonho just kept smiling, bring your hands to his lips and kissing the back of them, a kiss on each knuckle, and you ducked your head in embarrassment. Once he was finished, he gave them a squeeze and peered at you lovingly.

“You don’t get to say those things,” he said, and before you could interrupt he continued quickly. “You don’t get to talk down on yourself, or let others do it to you. As long as I live and breathe, you shouldn’t do that to yourself. You’re so incredible, amazing, beautiful, kind, funny. I can go on and on.”

He beamed at you, pearly whites on full display, bringing out a small one of your own, his contagious grin rubbing off on you.

“I know things are rough right now,” he sighed, furrowing his brows, “and I know people haven’t been kind to you. I hate them for that. But please. Please. Don’t leave,” he pleaded, and your heart stopped. He’d be just as heartbroken as you’d be if you left. How were you so stupid? But, maybe the break would help his image. You tried to bring up this point, but Wonho wasn’t having it.

“I’m not ever leaving your side. They can say what they want about me, I don’t care. As an entertainer, I’m going to get that wherever I go. That’s fine. What’s not fine, is when they say mean things about you. It hurts me more than it would if they were saying it about me. I hate seeing it. And I hate seeing how it’s affecting you. But you have to understand me when I say it; I don’t care about their opinions. I don’t care that you’re younger, or how you look – which is perfect, by the way – or anything like that. Yes, sometimes the age gap gets to me, but that’s more so for your protection. Sometimes I feel bad that you’re stuck with me at such a young age, when you should be out experiencing everything you can. But, selfishly, I don’t want to let you go. Because I love you with all my heart. And to see you walk out of my life is worse than anything could ever say or do to me.”

You were stunned in silence, which was a good thing too, as the waitress had arrived with your food. The plates settled on the table, Wonho tucked in, casually ignoring you in favour of his sundae. Looking up at you, he laughed around his food and placed his fingers underneath your chin, effectively closing your mouth. Your heart was filled with warmth and pride at his words, and you knew, you could never truly ever leave Wonho. He’s your other half, the one who knows your ins and outs as if they were lyrics to a song he knows by heart. Every relationship has it’s hardships, what kind of person would you be if you jumped ship when the going got tough?

“Eat your damn waffles, will you? Then we can head to yours and watch some movies and cuddle. Sound good?” he grinned, and your brain worked well enough to return it, digging into your treat as your insides turned soft and gooey at Wonho’s speech.

Yeah. You definitely couldn’t live without him. Other’s be damned.

You weren’t giving this one up.