#all hail Gaiman I guess

[origami-butterfly]

Fucking hell.

I've just seen the stage adaptation of @neil-gaiman 's Ocean at the End of the Lane and it has changed my brain chemistry. The symbolism in the lighting, the sound, the costumes, it was all amazingly thought out, the suspense was built up so well, the PRACTICAL EFFECTS!!! Adapting fantasy is always difficult, because there will be things that don't exist normally, but GODDAMN, that was amazing!!! If you can, I highly recommend going to see it, because that 2-3 ish hours felt like a spiritual experience. It has awoken emotions in me that I never knew I had.

[metvmorqhoses]

Nononono waitttt what do you mean about Good Omens season 2?? Why didn't you like it?

I personally thought it was better than season 1 - better paced. There wasn't a single boring moment. And sure, the plot maybe had fewer stakes, but seeing as this was a bridge season between season 1 (the of Good Omens book) and hopefully season 3 (the book that never came out, “668” or something like that), I thought it was good. Warm & fuzzy.

I need to know your opinion now

As abashed as I am to have to respond to such enthusiasm with, well... the very opposite of enthusiasm, please at least know that I consider the truth the best thing I have to offer in general and in regard to that unfortunate (yet somehow still-untouchable?) mess the second season of Good Omens has proven itself to be in particular, so accept it as some sort of well-intended even if perhaps unwanted gift.

This is probably the most unpopular opinion one can have on Tumblr right now, so I'll go straight to the point: Gaiman managed to ruin Good Omens (perhaps he isn't able to write it by himself, perhaps he got carried away with fan service, who knows), once one of the most delightful, witty, engaging, profound books/shows existent, changing its register and raison d'être in order to turn it into, per great popular request, the same lame simple plotless cheesy cookie-cutter gay romance without rime and reason apparently every single piece of media is deforming itself into lately.

The dramatic loss of... artistic quality this show suffered is appalling and even more appalling is the fact I seem to be one of the very few on this green earth to have even noticed? Did I perhaps read too much in the show before? I don't think so, it was indeed a masterpiece. I saw many die-hard fans of the series beyond puzzled at this last season too, straining themselves to try and make sense of it with wild theories, justifying them with the simple fact that Neil Gaiman is a genius and surely this hot mess must mean something, right? I wasn't aware the world was mostly populated by hysterically besotted people hailing Neil Gaiman's alleged greatness from dawn til dusk without contextualized merit, and the discovery didn't particularly excite me, to be quite honest. I think a healthy amount of fairness in the critique of any artist should always be the norm, but I digress.

I'll try to keep it as brief and matter-of-factly as possible, especially since some time has passed and the fumes of my rage aren't as scorching or as precise as they used to be lol

In a word, this season was subpar. Not only did it lack that original witty, ineffable meaningfulness, that intrinsic and very human sense of wonder and protectiveness towards life and its profound sense the original show brimmed with, but even from the most basic literary point of view, it literally lacked a plot worthy of this name, a story, characters that felt complex and real instead of caricatures who tried and reenact themselves, and in general what should have been, quite simply, good writing.

More than Good Omens' long-awaited season 2, this felt more like a high-budget filler fanfiction created by someone who didn't know what they were doing with story and characters most of the time, but who sure as hell wanted to please the audience to disastrous lengths.

The very first thing that irked me beyond belief, and it literally started from minute one, was the immediate, more or less subtle, change in acting from both Michael and David. Michael stressed it way more, with, in my opinion, quite tragic results, thing that from the start immediately allowed me to guess where they were going with their (already established as extremely complex) relationship, entirely turning the vibe from sophisticated allegory of Divine Comedy kind of love (love for your enemy, love for your friend, love in all its form and in its entirety) to banal romantic comedy-level gay drama, downgrading what Crowley and Aziraphale shared (the subtle abysses of it!) into the most boring and obvious of soap operas, obviously forcing them to act out of character in order to compensate (was any flash-back meaningful to their character or the story? Was there a writing reason behind any of them beyond writing for the sake of filling screen-time?).

Some relationships deserve to be left alone, alone in their subtlety and ambiguousness or you'll inevitably ruin them. Not everyone must kiss on screen, no matter how much the audience screams and throws up for it. This little woke drama completely ruined and eclipsed everything else those two characters were for each other, turning them from cosmic and devastatingly loyal best friends to petty and dumb lovers that need two plot devices (the messy pointless and quite frankly offensive representation-wise lesbians from across the street they literally met five minutes prior) to tell them they actually have feeling for each other and should share them. After literal millennia of this relationship, relationship that has its own inner workings and reasons, we needed the plot-lesbians to subvert the order of things and spur Crowley into action, obviously obtaining disastrous and lame results? Are we witnessing the interaction of immortal beings or five-year-olds? The only way I can genuinely make sense of this dumbness is considering those two female "characters" (that feel anything but real people) no more than that, characters, golems, put there by Metatron via the power of the Book of Life (again, so many Chekhov's guns with no use whatsoever in this season) in order to separate Az and Crowley using the only thing that could succeed in doing it - an ill placed declaration of love.

But even this doesn't match the true être of what Good Omens originally was nor comes full circle with the ineffable mystery season 1 ended with. It genuinely feels like Gaiman changed the whole rhyme and reason of the story, vibes, meaning, register, just to meet the modern needs of a category that is sadly phagocytizes everything else in both life and fiction. And I find it a true pity - and a bore.

And even leaving aside this personal boredom of mine at a non-existent plot that consisted in 1) a big mystery that promised cosmic repercussions (season 1 ended with the after-nonapocalyptic world that was slightly changed just because two enemies had loved each other and life too much not to oppose god's plan - fact that was probably god's plan all along), mystery that was actually no mystery at all (two random, from the original story's perspective, previous minor characters in literally ten supernatural minutes fell in love and run away together) and that meant virtually nothing in the grand scheme of things, but serving as a plot device so that the other two minor new characters could intrude into the protagonists' relationship so they could finally have the excuse to jump literary genre and kiss & queer tragedy the story away 2) an endless series of symbols, facts, episodes and characters that constantly seemed to hint at something but that in reality resulted in nothing story-wise (also, the change of heart in God's personality, first the witty and almighty trickster for the greater good, now the divine bully??), even leaving all this aside, I'm mostly disappointed the quality of the writing plummeted so inesorabily one of my comfort show turned into the symbol of an artistic era I'm utterly distraught to have to witness - the era of crowd-pleasers and un-imagination.

As for this being a filler season, writing in such an unresolved way (basic and predictable plot, colourless characters, cliché romance, hours of happenings that don't mean a thing in the current story) is unacceptable and a failure, even if you are a famous writer. You cannot waste hours of the audience's time going nowhere shielded by the sole future promise of sense. Writing doesn't work that way, and I'm sincerely appalled to see people noticing it and deciding to excuse it with a "surely next season everything will look genius!". It doesn't work this way. The faults were too many, they can't possibly be all resolved next season. This product wasn't great, even if your faves kissed and your little fanfictions came true.

The sad thing is, Good Omens used to be a work of art, not the next consumeristic piece of fiction to satisfy woke needs.

[ticiie]

my fave @wunderlichkind tagged me to answer those questions which isn't easier when you're working as a bookseller 😅😂 anyway thanks for tagging dearest silija, here goes nothing 💖

An estimate of how many physical books i own: uh...last time I counted was two years ago when i was moving out and therefor had to sort out some of them and I eventually moved around 350...now i guess there are about 500/550 in total

Favourite author: way too many and they change on a regular basis but Benedict Wells and Ferdinand von Schirach will probably stay on top

A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: easy: "where the crawdads sing". It's almost a sin to say it out loud as a bookseller that I haven't read a single line from that book but i will not change it 🤷🏽 also everything that comes from the "seven sisters" (Lucinda Riley) -universe

A popular book I thought was just meh: I'm really sorry to say this but that's gotta be "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" by Gabrielle Zevin (sue me) I liked the writing and the story was okay but I really don't understand the hype around it...

Longest book I own: that would also be "Anna Karenina"

Longest series I own all the books to: Literally the only series I own all the books to (and I really don't know why I don't seem to be able to keep track to any other/new series) is Harry Potter. 1-7 in paperback (both english and german), the three Hogwarts-Library books, "cursed child" (still haven't read that one shhhhh...) and 1-5 as illustrated versions and I am so excited for the 6th to come out 🤩 so yeah about 1/5 of the limited space on the shelf in my bedroom is used by Harry Potter 🙈

Prettiest book I own: wow okay that's a hard one...Probably the illustrated version of Gaimans "ocean at the end of the lane"? and also Andy Weirs "der Astronaut" (OT: Project Hail Mary)

A book or series I wish more people knew about: "Portrait of a theif" by Grace D. Li: I loved the whole vibe of it and although the end was so frustrating I still loved it a lot.

Book I’m reading now: "20'000 leagues under the sea" (in german though) because Jules Verne is the GOAT.

Book that’s been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven’t gotten around to it: way more than I'd like to admit so it's hard to pick just one but I think "Crescent City" is leading the very very long list

Do you have any books in a language other than English: german (duh) and one spanish edition of an old Nicholas Sparks-novel

Paperback, hardcover or ebook?: I don't really differentiate between paperback and hardcover, I enjoy both equally but ebooks really aren't my thing, the only thing I read digitally are fanfictions, apart from those I am a child of haptics

tagging bestie @nonbin-arii because I just know their answers will be a lot more interesting than mine 🙈💖

[prestisssimo-tempestuoso]

what a show. i can’t believe lucifer morningstar/satan/devil the biblical villain really received such a sympathetic treatment in a piece of popular western media, so gloriously executed too

[reyofsunlight666]

How will fandom change with the media of the 2010s?

Fandom comes from canon. And canon works themselves draw from a pool of tropes that are in fashion when they’re made. If the 90s thinks black trench coats are cool, The Matrix will put Neo in one, and subsequent Matrix OCs will have edgy black and rainbow and glitter trench coats galore.

Fandom so far has focused on works and adaptations drawing from largely the same pool of media tropes and norms. The original Star Trek came out in the 60s, The X-Files was a creation of the 90s. Yet they’ve a lot of similarities, and their fandoms have reacted to them, as far as I can tell, in really similar ways. Even now, the fandoms that blow up on Tumblr tend to be modern adaptations of properties created in this time period - Good Omens, The Witcher, Doctor Who, the Avengers and wider MCU, Star Wars.

What similarities am I talking about? To name some examples:

1) Monster of the Week, or, Just Enough Worldbuilding: On the surface, this one seems to be TV-exclusive. How can you have a Monster of the Week if installments don’t come out every week? The answer in movie formats is what I call Just Enough Worldbuilding. Taken together, these two concepts are what I define as: enough possibility in the setting for imaginative breathing room, with broad-strokes, fun speculative concepts that aren’t thought out much beyond their initial appearance. Think the alien that tries to eat the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back. It makes a single, massive, punchy appearance - just enough to make a vivid impression - and then is never brought back, explained or justified further. When this is done effectively, it makes for a universe that’s vivid and allows plenty of room for thought. 

2) The Relationship/Plot Balancing Act: Of course, this is important for any type of commercial fiction. But works with large internet fandoms have this down to a science. The exact balance of relationships to plottiness can be different, depending on the work, but they all follow these rules: that affection between characters is drip-fed, and that when choosing between emotion and plot development, emotion must be suppressed in favour of plot. 

3) Lacklustre M/F Romance Arcs, Amazing M/M Friendship Arcs: This one is starting to be phased out, but it has enough of a footprint in Big Fandom Works that it still has an effect. The writers don’t have to be sexist to put this in their works (though it helps) - they just have to think of romance as secondary to their protagonist’s journey. Think of it this way: Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman are, as highly popular creators go, extremely thoughtful about gender. But how many tender, compelling, memorable moments do Anathema and Newton share, compared to Crowley and Aziraphale? 

4) Relatedly: Weird Hangups about Sex, and Absolutely No Gays: This one speaks for itself.

When I lay it out like this, it’s clear that these tropes are the guiding forces for some of the biggest commonalities across fandoms.

In response to 1), we get loving, thoughtfully crafted meta that tries to make the universe make sense, or uses the existing lore to create something even wilder. In response to 2), we get an overwhelming focus on relationships between the characters. In response to 3), we get focus on M/M pairings above and beyond anyone else, even if they’ve never spoken in canon. In response to 4), we get explicit, open discussion of sex and kink, and a buffet of queer representation the like of which was never seen in Western art before modern fandom. 

So: what now?

Because creators who learned their craft in fandom are starting to dominate SFF and pop culture, bringing these norms with them. This effect is only going to get more pronounced as time goes on. Instead of the norms above, pop culture and SFF is starting to be dominated by:

1) Rationalistic worldbuilding that seeks to create a watertight universe and is moving away from the ‘potentially infinite creatures, spells and powers’ model. (Note: I didn’t say it always succeeds. Just that it tries to present itself that way.)

2) Close focus on character relationships, sometimes to the point of sacrificing plot

3) Romance arcs that are pivotal to the main plot, and less ‘accidental’ friendship arcs

4) Much more queer representation, and models of sexuality that conform less closely to the usual heterosexual script.

I’m not saying these are bad things. Especially not the last one! But I am curious about what such a radical shift is going to do to fandom. Why would the shippers who follow the popular M/M ships of the month across works need to do that anymore, after all, if they can get their fix in original works? Why would we lovingly dissect repressed emotions if they’re no longer repressed?

You can already see this shift coming when you look at the YA book market. Over and over again, I see the release of the month hailed as a Triumph of Diversity, and people urge each other to buy it and solidify its place in canon. Once the Diversity Book is out, guess what you hear about it from fandom spaces?

*cricket noises*

And I’m not trying to shame people into changing their fandoms by saying this. But I am curious. If we accept that tropes will change, that works will get more diverse, doesn’t that also mean fandom will change too? And once TV and movie studios run out of older works to adapt, will fandom as we know it ever exist again?

[mulderscully]

RE: Jesus in Lucifer. I like your two cents! It's been driving me crazy all day trying to figure out how Jesus would fit into the narrative if he's real too. I like the take that Lucifer doesn't have a beef, maybe he was too alienated from his fam by that point to care or Jesus seemed fine to him. But then I wonder about sibling rivalry, or Luci's thoughts on the unjust crucifixion or his dad getting killed on earth if the holy trinity is a thing. Sincerely, a gay agnostic/evangelical Lucifan~

i mean, to me i've always seen lucifer as a really pretty christian show. it kinda just... flat out ignores all others, or disputes them (like linda saying reincarnation was "a nice idea.") that's a bigger convo tho.

priests, churches, nuns, hail mary's, CROSSES are all part of christianity. so, the idea that jesus doesn't exist in the dctv universe never was smth i considered (not in a shady way!!) for example, i think ella is probably catholic. she has a cross around her neck.

also, in a few interviews they do mention (in passing) lucifer being a christian show. what that means, i guess is a bigger convo.

i do think from a writing pov jesus is kept out of it by name bc that would MAYBE be pushing it too much when they were always on thin ice. but in universe i always assume luci and jesus were like... fine. he doesn't seem to be TOO against going to church with ella, for example. there'a no anger and when he's mad you know abt it. the show, of course, isn't the bible. it's based on a neil gaiman comic. so you can bend it however you want until jesus is brought up, but i don't think they will. but i adhere to the unjust crucification view, and multiple ppl cross themselves in the show. but at the end of the day MY pov is that the point of the show is for god and lucifer to make peace. and the message of the show is that if god loves lucifer and forgives him, the same can be true for (almost) anyone.

but ofc pov is objective.

- bi catholic/agnostic kid 😘

[ravengirl94]

20 Questions

I was tagged by my twin @deanssweetheart23

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 10 followers to get to know better.

Name: Emily Chinese Zodiac Sign: Dog

Height: 5’ 4″

Ethnicity: American but my ancestors hail from England, Scotland, Ireland and likely other places too.

Hogwarts House: Griffindor

Myers-Briggs Personality Result: ISJT

Favorite Season: Fall. Cool crisp weather is my THING, and it’s so damn pretty. 

Favorite Books: I don’t really know how to answer this question because I’ve read so many that I feel bad picking just a few, but... I’ll try... I love To Kill a Mocking Bird, and then my current favs are The Name of the Wind (Patrick Rothfuss), Neverwhere (Neil Gaiman), and anything by my favorite authors Maggie Stiefvater and Sarah J Maas.

Favorite Flowers: eeerrmmm... I dunno... I guess I really like Hydrangeas

Favorite Color: Blue. Really any shade, but depends on my mood.

Favorite Animal(s) and why: Okay so this is another impossible question... because asking me to choose between dogs and horses really just isn’t possible. And then I love wolves and lions.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: WHY ARE THESE QUESTIONS SO HARD? Ugh... I have a bunch of Ben and Jerry’s flavors that I rotate between... “Everything But The,” “American Dream,” & “The Tonight Dough” are my solid citizens. And then sometimes I go for Mint Chocolate Cookie or Strawberry Cheesecake... honestly if it says Ben and Jerry’s on it, I’ll probably eat it.

Average Hours of Sleep: Um... I like to get 8, but I think it’s usually closer to 6

Sam Girl/Dean Girl/Cas Girl/ Crowley Girl/ Other/ None? Dean Winchester is my man, okay? Have I not made that clear enough?

Favorite SPN Character and Why: So... Dean, obviously. How do I explain this... Dean is an incredibly complex character, and I guess that might be part of why I love him. There’s so MUCH to him, and I feel like people miss a lot of it. Dean Winchester is a good man. He is constantly trying to do the right thing, no matter how hard that might be. He’s loyal and brave and selfless, but he has flaws too. He isn’t perfect, and for me that’s what makes him perfect. And I’m just saying... we’d be perfect together. 

I don’t think I need to rant about Dean to you guys, but if you need more, I’ve got plenty more.

Second Favorite SPN Character: Close tie between Bobby and Benny. Bobby because I LOVE him and his sass and that he was like a father to Sam and Dean. He’s just a perfect incredibly intelligent underestimated human being and THEY NEED TO BRING HIM BACK. And then you all should know how I feel about my vampirate. He is such a pure soul, and is the only person who has never ever let Dean down. He was Dean’s best friend and he was constantly trying to be a good man despite the vampirism.

Favorite Fictional Characters Other Than SPN: Oh dear... you’ve opened the floodgates now...

Bucky. My dear sweet misunderstood super soldier... I will love you.

Peter Quill... a goofball with a heart of solid gold, always trying to do the right thing even if it means sacrificing himself... (and let’s be real, me and Rocket would be best buds)

Rhysand from A Court of Mist and Fury. I just love him way too much for it to be healthy. He’s so misunderstood but he’s such a good man. 

(Are we seeing a trend yet? I see a trend) 

Owen. Fucking. Grady. Because that man is an alpha and that’s just hot. Not to mention he’s good with animals. 

Basically everyone on NCIS (THE ORIGINAL ONE) but mostly Gibbs and Tony. 

Ron Swanson/April Ludgate because they’d be my best friends. 

There’s more, but I’m gonna stop before this gets out of control.

Favorite Superhero: Bucky. Because HE IS A SUPER HERO GOD DAMMIT

Favorite Movies: I don’t really do favorite movies... but I guess I love Guardians of the Galaxy, CA: Civil War, an old John Wayne western called El Dorado, aaaand then some chick flicks: He’s Just Not That Into You and Crazy Stupid Love

What would your personal SPN heaven look like? 

Yikes, I’m really having to work for this silly tag game... It would be quiet, so you could hear the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. I’d have a little house on a lake, hopefully my dogs would be there, maybe my horses too... There would be good coffee, plenty of books to read, and endless snuggles with the man I love.

[stevefoxe]

Everything I Read in 2016

For the third year in a row, I logged every novel, short story collection, poetry compilation, graphic novel, and collected edition of monthly comics I read, excluding individual monthly comics (on which I continued to fall catastrophically behind) and anything I read (and reread, and reread again) for my day job. My only big change? A lot of these books were read on my iPad Mini. And a good number were for my gay book club (you can guess which ones). 

If you don’t yet keep track of your reading, you should start in 2017. It’s your best bet for hitting a reading goal, and for folks like me who read a ton, it’s a nice way to recall books that otherwise departed your memory.

For the tl;dr crowd, here are my Top 13 for the year, in the order in which I read them:

On Writing, Stephen King

Binti, Nnedi Okorafor

The Girls, Emma Cline

I Am a Hero Vol. 1 & Vol. 2, Kengo Hanazawa

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Saenz

The Hero: Book Two, David Rubín

Night Sky With Exit Wounds, Ocean Vuong

Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders (I read an ARC)

A Choir of Ill Children, Tom Piccirilli

Habitat, Simon Roy

Prez Vol. 1, Mark Russell, Ben Caldwell, Domo Stanton

Bones of the Coast, edited by Shannon Campbell, Jeff Ellis, Kathleen Jacques

(New X-Men Omnibus was a re-read, or it would be up here.)

The rest is below the jump!

I don’t really feel like dumping on anything this year. I definitely got burnt out on comic anthologies, and I hated A Little Life, but the good outweighs the bad. Below is the full list, divided by month, followed by a few statistics and an evaluation of my 2016 reading goals as established last January. 

[A note on comics: I feel guilty that I’ve left off colorists and inkers, as they contribute so much to a book, but I defaulted to cover credits while logging my reading and don’t have most of these books on-hand to fix it now.]

January

The Amazing World of Gumball: Fairy Tale Trouble, Megan Brennan, Katy Farina, Jeremy Lawson

Adventure Time: Masked Mayhem, Kate Leth, Bridget Underwood, Drew Green, Vaughn Pinpin, Meredith McClaren

Sir Edward Grey: Witchfinder: The Mysteries of Unland, Kim Newman, Maura McHugh, Tyler Crook

On Writing, Stephen King

Binti, Nnedi Okorafor

The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2016, edited by John Joseph Adams & Joe Hill

The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps, Kai Ashante Wilson

February

Planet Hulk, Sam Humphries & Marc Laming

Future Imperfect, Peter David & Greg Land

Hail Hydra, Rick Remender & Roland Boschi

House of M, Dennis Hopeless & Marco Failla

Marvel Zombies, Si Spurrier & Kev Walker

Old Man Logan, Brian Michael Bendis & Andrea Sorrentino

The Girls, Emma Cline

The Gilded Razor, Sam Lansky

March

Civil War, Charles Soule & Leinil Francis Yu

New X-Men Omnibus, Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely, Phil Jimenez, Ethan Van Sciver, Igor Kordey, Marc Silvestri, Keron Grant, Chris Bachalo, John Paul Leon, Bill Sienkiewicz, Leinil Francis Yu

The Eye of the Cat, Elejandro Jodorowsky & Moebius

All the Birds in the Sky, Charlie Jane Anders

Beyond Anthology, edited by Sfé Monster & Taneka Scott

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara

Balloon Pop Outlaw Black, Patricia Lockwood

April

 I Am a Hero Vol. 1, Kengo Hanazawa

The Nameless City Vol. 1, Faith Erin Hicks

Ody-C Vol. 1, Matt Fraction & Christian Ward

Lovecraft Country, Matt Ruff

Husk, Rachel Autumn Deering

New World: An Anthology of Sci-Fi & Fantasy, edited by C. Spike Trotman

Chainmail Bikini: An Anthology of Women Gamers, edited by Hazel Newlevant

Broken Frontier, edited by Frederik Hautain & Tyler Chin-Tanner

Love in All Forms: The Big Book of Growing Up Queer, edited by Serafina Dwyer

Wonder Woman: Earth One Vol. 1, Grant Morrison & Yanick Paquette

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Saenz

The Hero: Book Two, David Rubín

The Girl With All the Gifts, M. R. Carey

Regular Show: Noir Means Noir, Buddy, Rachel Connor, Robert Luckett, Wook Jin Clark

Night Air, Ben Sears

Revenger: Children of the Damned, Charles Forsman

Magic for Beginners, Kelly Link

May

Dark Engine Vol. 1, Ryan Burton & John Bivens

Disney Kingdoms: Seekers of the Weird, Brandon Seifert, Karl Moline, Filipe Andrade

The Girl in the Flammable Skirt, Aimee Bender

Every Heart a Doorway, Seanan McGuire

Mr. Splitfoot, Samantha Hunt

Fire Shut Up in My Bones, Charles M. Blow

Revival Vol. 1, Tim Seeley & Mike Norton

The Fireman, Joe Hill

Colder: Toss the Bones, Paul Tobin & Juan Ferreyra

The Fly: Outbreak, Brandon Seifert & Menton3

Faker, Mike Carey & Jock

What If? Infinity, Joshua Williamson, Mike Henderson, Riley Rossmo, Mike Norton, Jason Copeland, Goran Sudžuka

June

Hawkeye vs. Deadpool, Gerry Duggan, Matteo Lolli, Jacopo Camagni

Outcast Vol. 3, Robert Kirkman & Paul Azaceta

Lady Killer Vol. 1, Joelle Jones & Jamie S. Rich

The Fiction, Curt Pires & David Rubín

The Amazing World of Gumball Vol. 2, Frank Gibson, Tyson Hesse, Paulina Ganucheau

Arcadia, Alex Paknadel & Eric Scott Pfeiffer

Black Market, Frank J. Barbiere & Victor Santos

Dream Thief Vol. 2, Jai Nitz, Greg Smallwood, Todd Galusha

Contest of Champions Vol.1, Al Ewing & Paco Medina

The Infinity Gauntlet, Dustin Weaver & Gerry Duggan

The Amulet, Michael McDowell

The Dark Half, Stephen King

The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Steve Moncuse & Art Adams

Steven Universe: Too Cool for School, Ian Jones-Quartey, Jeremy Sorese, Asia Kendrick-Horton, Rachel Dukes, Josceline Fenton

Bob’s Burgers: Medium Rare, overseen by Loren Bouchard

Bob’s Burgers: Well Done, overseen by Loren Bouchard

Zombie, Joyce Carol Oates

Kare-Kare Komiks, Andrew Drilon

Night Sky With Exit Wounds, Ocean Vuong

The Witcher: House of Glass, Paul Tobin & Joe Querio

X-Men: No More Humans, Mike Carey & Salvador Larroca

Cold Moon Over Babylon, Michael McDowell

July

Black Hand Comics, Wes Craig

Disappearance at Devil’s Rock, Paul Tremblay

B.P.R.D.: Hell on Earth: The Devil’s Wings, John Arcudi, Mike Mignola, Lawrence Campbell, Joe Querio, Tyler Crook

B.P.R.D.: Hell on Earth: Flesh & Stone, John Arcudi, Mike Mignola, James Harren

Abe Sapien: Sacred Places, Mike Mignola, Scott Allie, Sebastian Fiumara, Max Fiumara

Abe Sapien: A Darkness So Great, Mike Mignola, Scott Allie, Sebastian Fuimara, Max Fiumara

Hellboy & the B.P.R.D. 1952, Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, Alex Maleev

Lobster Johnson: Get the Lobster!, Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, Tonči Zonjić

Green River Killer: A True Detective Story, Jeff Jensen & Jonathan Case

The Witcher: Fox Children, Paul Tobin & Joe Querio

Children of the Night, John Blackburn

Frankenstein Underground, Mike Mignola & Ben Stenbeck

My Best Friend’s Exorcism, Grady Hendrix

August

The Well, Jack Cady

Angel Catbird Vol. 1, Margaret Atwood & Johnnie Christmas

Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders

September

Fellside, M. R. Carey

The Twilight Children, Gilbert Hernandez & Darwyn Cooke

Veil, Greg Rucka & Toni Fejzula

Negative Space, Ryan K. Lindsey & Owen Geini

Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 1, Alex De Campi, Chris Peterson, Simon Fraser

Bitch Planet Vol. 1, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Valentine De Landro, Robert Wilson IV

Ody-C Vol. 2, Matt Fraction & Christian Ward

Tampa, Alissa Nutting

Clive Barker’s A-Z of Horror, compiled by Stephen Jones

The Missing, Sarah Langan

Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 2, Alex De Campi, Federica Manfredi, Gary Erskine

Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 3, Alex De Campi, R.M. Guera, Chris Peterson

Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 4, Alex De Campi, Mulele Jarvis, John Lucas

Audition, Ryu Murakami

Mr. Arashi’s Amazing Freak Show, Suehiro Maruo

In the Miso Soup, Ryu Murakami

October

Ghosts, Raina Telgemeier

Anya’s Ghost, Vera Brosgol

One Week in the Library, W. Maxwell Prince & John Amor

A Choir of Ill Children, Tom Piccirilli

The Bloody Chamber, Angela Carter

I Am a Hero Vol. 2, Kengo Hanazawa

The Beauty Vol. 1, Jeremy Haun & Jason A. Hurley

The Creepy Case Files of Margo Maloo Vol. 1, Drew Weing

November

Gerald’s Game, Stephen King

Call Me By Your Name, André Aciman

Invisible Republic Vol. 1, Gabriel Hardman & Corinne Bechko

Roche Limit Vol. 1, Michael Moreci & Vic Malhorta

What Belongs to You, Garth Greenwell

Roche Limit Vol. 2, Michael Moreci & Kyle Charles

Roche Limit Vol. 3, Michael Moreci & Kyle Charles

One-Punch Man Vol. 9, ONE & Yusuke Murata

One-Punch Man Vol. 10, ONE & Yusuke Murata

Habitat, Simon Roy

December

Beowulf, Santiago García & David Rubín

The Oath, edited by Audrey Redpath

Star Wars: Tales From the Far, Far Away, Michael Moreci, Tim Daniel, Ryan Cady, Phillip Sevy, etc.

Prelude to Bruise, Saeed Jones

Grief is the Thing With Feathers, Max Porter

Tomie Deluxe Edition, Junji Ito

Krampus!, Brian Jones & Dean Kotz

Fantasy Sports Vol. 2, Sam Bosma

The Beauty Vol. 2, Jeremy Haun, Jason A. Hurley, Mike Huddleston, Brett Weldele, Stephen Green

Prez Vol. 1, Mark Russell, Ben Caldwell, Domo Stanton

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe, Ryan Q. North & Erica Henderson

Love is Love, edited by Marc Andreyko

Joe Golem Vol. 1, Mike Mignola, Christopher Golden, Patric Reynolds

Baltimore: Cult of the Red King, Mike Mignola, Christopher Golden, Peter Bergting

Abe Sapien: The Burning Fire, Mike Mignola, Scott Allie, Max Fiumara, Sebastian Fiumara, Tyler Crook

Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire, Neil Gaiman & Shane Oakley

Bones of the Coast, edited by Shannon Campbell, Jeff Ellis, Kathleen Jacques

Total: 

140 Books (up from 128 in 2015 and 87 in 2014)

Breakdown:

39 Novels or short story collections (down from 43 in 2015 and 44 in 2014)

98 Graphic novels/collected editions of comics (up from 84 in 2015 and a measly 42 in 2014)

3 Books of poetry (triple the 2015 and 2014 counts!)

About 35 Books written or edited by female authors (up from 20 in 2015 and 16 in 2014; note that I’m only counting writers and editors, not artists, and I’m counting books, not unique authors)

Roughly 19 books by (known-to-be) non-white authors (down from 30 last year but up from 9 in 2014...but both this year and last were inflated by multiple entries from manga creators)

...and at least 16 books written or edited by queer and trans authors. 

So...any suggestions for 2017?

[oscarlovesthesea]

11 facts meme taggity thing + 16 facts about me or whatever these things are called

the amazing @gay-trash-cats always tags me in things and then I forget which is how I ended up owing them 27 facts about me. Let’s see! (This thing was so long I needed to make a cut :O)

1.I love my friends, online and real friends alike. They’re amazing people and there is almost nothing I wouldn’t do for them (almost because I’m excluding stuff like genocide or killing a kitten? sorry friends I love you but cats are the best)

2. my favourite sport has always been horse riding and I’ve done it for 9 years, even doing competitions at national level. between studying a lot and not really having the money for it I haven’t been riding in like 8 months now which is probably the longest I’ve been without it in years and I am actually feeling like I’m going through withdrawal. 

3. speaking of riding, the first horse I ever really got attached to was this tiny and full of rage Shetland called Caramella (Candy). The two horses who taught me the most were called Perla (Pearl) and Daimon. When I started competitions I first had a crazy pony I loved very much called Asterix, then moved on to this super sweet mare called Ghira, then to a black cutiepie (who was probably the best one in terms of technical abilities) called Kibor. The only actual horse (meaning, not pony) I’ve had for long was a beautiful mare called Actionmaid Z, but since her name was too long I called her Arwen.

4. in 9 years of riding, I’ve only had one bad fall, from this huge horse called Amadeus - it was before I got Arwen and he was scared of everything and definitely too big and strong for my tiny arms, so when a car passed in front of us (the car, funnily enough, contained my best friend’s boyfriend) and he got scared I just splattered to the ground, cracking a few ribs. I’m an idiot and I just got back up and completed the jumping routine I was doing ignoring the fact that I could barely breathe, which probably made it worse, but at least I didn’t go through “fall induced trauma” or whatever. i swear i’m done with the riding facts

5. my friends Clelia and Ionita are horrible people who got me into anime and then told me all the characters who died in Death Note when I was only three episodes in. I’m still not over it.

6. I’m Italian even though my skin is like a ghost’s . I was born in Rome but I moved into the countryside when I was about four, which was possibly the best decision my parents ever made. I still live really close to Rome though so I still go at least once a week.

7. I am currently living in Scotland, near Edinburgh, where I’m staying with a host family. I arrived about four months ago and I’m going to stay at least until June and I’m loving every second of it.

8. I have a dangerous addiction for brownies, crisps, parmesan and ham. I’m serious, I need help.

9. In theory, I speak Italian, English, French and Spanish, but even though I can understand and make myself understood I’m not really confident about my Spanish and my French.

10. To be honest I’m not really confident about my English either especially because when I’m tired I tend to mess up the grammar and mispronounce things

11. which reminds me, I find it incredibly hard to say the word ‘references’. I don’t know why.

12. I love acting and I’m a huge theatre nerd. I’m going to apply for an acting academy this year even though I’m definitely not gonna get in but one at least makes a nice experience right?  but it took like five different people to convince me to do it.

13. my musical taste is the weirdest shit because it goes from Italian folk music from the ‘60s/’70s, which is what my parents made me listen to as a child all hail Fabrizio de Andrè to musical theatre with little to nothing in between.

14. my favourite musical is Les Mis (as pretty much everyone who has opened this blog even just once knows), followed by Next to Normal and Jesus Christ Superstar. I do love Hamilton but I can’t manage to choose where to rank it.

15. I can’t stand love stories. Meaning, I can’t read a book where if you take away the love story you have nothing, but I do enjoy them if they are of some addition to the plot. At the same time, pointless romanitc subplots are the least interesting thing in the world (I’m looking at Sharon Carter in Civil War and pretty much every James Bond movie ever made).

16. Shinya Hiiragi is my actual son and I’m going to protect him.

17. I actually have a full battalion of fictional sons and daughters that I adopted because I just have mum instincts with anyone and  anything. I think the latest addiction was Ciel Phantomhive.

18. Every year I take part in a Harry Potter themed camp which is a lot of fun because we’re all friends and huge nerds and we just love each other. I went for the first time at the first edition of it when I was 14 or 15 and it probably changed my life.

19. there I met my friend Franz who is like a big brother to me and looks A LOT like Shang from Mulan.

20. I am the actual definition of mum friend which is pretty fun but also a bit stressful lol

21. my favourite character from Les Mis is Enjolras because I see a lot of myself in him. There is also a bit of Jehan Prouvaire in me and I guess some Combeferre as well.

22. throwback to those good old times when the SuperWhoLock fandom seemed to rule Tumblr, I actually wrote a SuperLock fanfiction on an Italian website. I only need to publish the last chapter which is already half written, but the thing hasn’t been updated in two years.

23. I don’t really play videogames but I bought Life is Strange about a week ago and even though I’ve only had time to get to the beginning of episode 2, I’m really enjoying it.

24. I am currently reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and I’m loving it. Aziraphale is the cutest thing, I swear but sometimes I feel like I’m reading a Castiel/Crowley crack fic. The book is amazing though!

25. I’m definitely a cat person and my biggest aspiration in life is living on my own, on an island, with infinite amounts of tea and cats everywhere.

26. My grandmother was a quite renowned writer in Italy (at her time), and her books won quite a lot of awards. My mum is a writer as well but she doesn’t really feel confident about it and has never published anything but i’m determined to get her books published because they’re great and she deserves it.

27. I am a huge nerd and I can’t choose a favourite between sci-fi and fantasy. I love space facts but I also LOVE dragons and unicorns (dragons especially. I have a collection.)

Ugh, I didn’t think I was going to manage to come up with enough stuff... whoever has read everything will be given a virtual toast, I swear. I’m tagging @unicorn-gureshin, @gureshin-trash, @sjexokm and @sparkleofstardust. Enjoy!

[meadowstoneuk]

Guess who’s coming to dinner?

If you're looking for a long, relaxing and fascinating weekend read, here are Team AG's top 5 fantasy dinner party guests (bring your own wine and chocolates)

F2AGPW Toasting the host of dinner party (OLVI008_OU064_F)

  Wendy Humphries, letters editor

Nigel Slater

I am no perfectionist when it comes to culinary skills, which is why ‘Eat’ by Nigel Slater is my go-to cookery book among my wide collection. As a working mum with three hungry boys to feed, many of the recipes are simple, nutritious and quick to make using fresh ingredients to produce something delicious.

So I’d want to cook for Nigel, to thank him for all the shortcuts and for showing me to live by taste!

  Audrey Hepburn – so beautiful and stylish (Picture: Alamy)

Audrey Hepburn

So beautiful and stylish, Audrey would make a lovely dinner party companion! I caught up with her documentary Gardens of the World recently and I was really impressed with her enthusiasm and knowledge of roses. Her biography, An Elegant Spirit, written by her son Sean is a brilliant insight to her fascinating but also, on occasion tragic, life.

Her son relates the story that she would refuse to sit first class on a flight, as she felt she was no better than anyone else. Imagine sitting next to her on a long-haul flight.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Sir David Attenborough

It would be the opportunity of a lifetime to meet him. Attenborough’s ever-popular documentaries have taught us all so much about the natural world, climate change and endangered species, but it was Blue Planet II in 2017 that gave a powerful message about the terrible impact plastic in our seas has on wildlife.

At the table, I would ask him what could we do as individuals to reverse the loss of habitat and biodiversity.

Joan Collins

This glamorous lady has always impressed me with her positive outlook and I’m sure she’d have many wonderful tales to tell over dinner of her experiences in high society. I watched the TV series Dynasty in the 80s, where power dressing was ‘in vogue’ and when the average pair of shoulder pads were no match for Alexis Carrington’s, which were like wings!

I’d tell Joan about a dear friend of mine who has sadly passed, Audrey was so addicted to the show she recorded an episode over her daughter’s wedding video.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Eric Morecambe

I definitely won’t be alone with this choice, as one of the nation’s best-loved comics, he would certainly bring some sunshine to the proceedings! His natural and sparkling wit would delight my dinner guests and the night would be sure to be full of fun.

Eric was a keen gardener and bird watcher so there’d be plenty to talk about! I grew up in his home-town of Harpenden, Hertfordshire, and would occasionally see him out and about. Once, as a child out with my mum, he held the door open for us when entering Woolworths!

  Janey Goulding, assistant editor

Michael Palin

Seriously, if nobody else showed up to dinner, I’d still be a happy bunny with Mike. Every party needs at least one national treasure to help break the ice while stuffing down vol-au-vents.

He can captivate my quirky collective with his ripping yarns and tales of far-flung adventures spent nibbling exotic entrails in precarious situations, and it’s guaranteed he’ll tickle the spare ribs with his salty humour. Also, he’s so lovely, he’s bound to help with the washing-up.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Bette Davis

The ultimate grande dame of dining. I imagine she would insist on smoking, but who wouldn’t make allowances for her singular wit, brittle and dry as a well-kept biscotti, and her pithy recollections of the golden age and all its salacious celebrity scandals?

Badinage in abundance, and a touch of elegance with the cold cuts: Bette Davis, we love you. Suspect she would be a dynamo at after-dinner board games, as well.

Kirsty McColl

If there was just one songbird from the great beyond to get a golden ticket to my soiree of suppertime snarking, it would be this perfectly pitched firecracker, with her crackling gift of the gab, twinkly ripostes and satisfying name-dropping skills.

She’d easily hold her own across and under the table (you can bet she’d bring the perfect bottle of plonk), and she would undoubtedly rally everyone to sing sea shanties over Cuban cigars and chiffon cake. Gourmet gumption, guaranteed!

Tim Curry

I mean, it’s right there in the name. Broadway legend Curry would be the pinnacle of dramaturgical dining, thanks to his mercurial storytelling and mimicry, relish for the ribaldry, and the sauciest laugh this side of Transylvania: damn it, Janet, he’s all that and a bag of chips.

Sure to add theatrical heft, a generous dollop of innuendo and a feast of bawdy banter to the after-dinner mints. Oh, and an utter delight if you crack out the Cluedo.

amateurgardening.com/blog

  Would Prince jump on Janey’s dining table to display his guitar skills? (Picture: Alamy)

Prince

All right, I cheated: I can’t just have one singer – not when there’s a chance of grabbing some funkadelic food time with Mr Nelson. The artist formerly known as Squiggle would be welcome to take a break from Martika’s kitchen to amuse my bouche while we feasted on alphabet street soup and cherry moon pie. Pretty sure he���d jump on the dinner table to impress us all with his virtuoso guitar skills, but that would be just fine. After all, it’s only right to have a bit of royalty to tea.

Extra special guests who could pop in for a cup of sugar: Dorothy Parker, Kate Bush, Alan Rickman, Holly Hunter, Peter Ustinov, David Lynch, Andy Kaufman, Terence Stamp, Aaron Sorkin, David Attenborough, Robert Downey Jr, Ray Davies, Madeline Khan, Peter O’Toole, Neil Gaiman, Christopher Walken, Carrie Fisher, Neil Simon, David Bowie (well, d’uh).

  Lesley Upton, features editor

  William Shepperdley – Les wishes she could ask her dad about his life

Alan Turing

Alan Turing was a Cambridge University mathematician who was pivotal in helping to break the Enigma Code in 1941. The Enigma was a cipher machine developed by the Germans during the Second World War to enable them to send secure encrypted messages. Turing and his team, comprising British and Polish experts, worked at the top-secret Bletchley Park in Buckinghamshire.

Turing should have been hailed a hero – and for a time he was. He was awarded an OBE in 1945, but just seven years later he was arrested for homosexuality, which was then illegal in Britain. He could have been jailed, but chose chemical castration instead. In 1954 he was found dead from cyanide poisoning – the verdict was suicide.

Did Turing still love his country after what they did to him? I don’t think I would have.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Hypatia

Hypatia, who lived from around 370-415, was a female philosopher and mathematician. She was born in Alexandria, Egypt, and was the daughter of Theon, one of the most educated men in Alexandria. Theon taught Hypatia all he knew and she shared his passion in the search for answers to the unknown.

Hypatia was an extraordinary woman of her time and one of the first female mathematicians. Being a prominent member of the society, she was murdered by a mob during religious riots.

Would Hypatia follow the same trailblazing course if she knew what the outcome would be?

Robert Oppenheimer

Theoretical physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer was director of the Los Alamos Laboratory in the USA, where the first atomic bomb was developed. He became known as the ‘Father of the Atomic Bomb’ after two bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan during the Second World War.

The first bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, a manufacturing centre about 500 miles from Tokyo, on 6 August 1945, followed by a second more powerful bomb, three days later, on Nagasaki. On 15 August 1945 Emperor Hirohito announced his country’s surrender.

Oppenheimer is later quoted as saying: “I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, ‘Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.’ I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.”

How did he feel about the deaths of more than 185,000 people that died due to the bombs being dropped?

Tim Berners-Lee

The English engineer and computer scientist Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web – but few people have even heard of his name. Berners-Lee published the name of the first website in 1990 that was available to the internet, which was an explanation about his World Wide Web project, and since then the Web has transformed almost every aspect of our lives. He made his idea freely available, with no patent and no royalties due.

Last year, 30 years after the World Wide Web’s invention, he stated: “While the web has created opportunity, given marginalised groups a voice and made our daily lives easier, it has also created opportunity for scammers, given a voice to those who spread hatred and made all kinds of crime easier to commit.”

We can’t live without the World Wide Web now, but will we be able to live with it as it develops?

My dad

Last, but certainly not least, is my dad, William Shepperdley. There are so many things I wish I’d asked my dad, who was born during the time of the First World War and died in 1991.

I know nothing about his time in the Army during the Second World War when he was a motorcycle despatch rider, or about his younger days when he lived in Essex. I know he loved gardening, as I used to help him with his part-time gardening jobs when I was about 12 or 13.

But now is the time I wish he were here, so I could pick his brains about all the things that didn’t seem important when I was younger – but are very important now.

And the meal? It would have to include steak and kidney pudding, as that was my dad’s favourite…

  Ruth Hayes, gardening editor

Caravaggio

Every dinner party needs a bad boy and someone to make a record of events, so invite Caravaggio and you get both in the same parcel. He was born Michelangelo Merisi – or Amerighi – in 1571 in Milan, where his father held office in the household of a nobleman from the town of Caravaggio.

He trained as an artist and travelled widely, but wherever he went, murder and mayhem were not far behind. His turbulent, talented life ended at 39, possibly through illness, syphilis or murder – no one is quite sure.

amateurgardening.com/blog

He left behind an awe-inspiring legacy, paintings of raw, powerful beauty and realism that look lit from within. He painted what he saw, there is no airbrushing, nor politely fading out the physical imperfections of his models. Caravaggio gives us grotesque faces, bloody deaths, Biblical agony and, more prosaically, lute players, gamblers, bowls of fruit lush enough to eat.

Four years ago we went to the Beyond Caravaggio exhibition at the National Gallery, which explored his art and its influences. It was a banquet for the senses, opulent, exotic, erotic, almost too rich for one sitting but wow, what a feast.

So he’s on the list, as long as he behaves, doesn’t neck all the wine, fight with the other guests or pinch anyone’s bottom. And instead of bringing the hostess a box of chocs as a gift, he can sketch and paint the guests as they revel!

Dame Mary Beard: Classical historian

I’m an unashamed fangirl of the classical historian Mary Beard. I love her easy, accessible intimacy with the past, her flowing silver locks and her glorious collection of baseball boots and trainers. I can’t remember where I first saw her but I was drawn by her towering intellect that could be intimidating were it not tinged – but not diluted – by a glorious twinkle of mischief.

Apart from gardening and wine, history – the more ancient the better – is my greatest love (my greatest regret is not reading it at university, having been corralled into studying English by my teachers). The classical past is a fascinating place but has often been treated with a dusty, tweedy reverence, which is why Mary B is such a force for good, opening it up to wider audiences, making it accessible, alive, real.

amateurgardening.com/blog

I also think she’d be an amazing guest, full of fire and spark, as long as she didn’t bring along any garum, that fermented condiment made from fish guts the Romans so loved. I might even have to wear my ‘when I grow up I want to be Mary Beard T-shirt’…

* It was a toss-up between Dame Mary and Joann Fletcher, the brilliant goth Egyptologist, but Mary clinched it by a whisker

  David Niven – a gent and a raconteur (Picture: Alamy)

David Niven

I grew up watching Niven’s films and reading his wonderful autobiographies and his death in 1983 was my first conscious recognition of ‘celebrity bereavement’. Witty, urbane and charming– and one for the ladies if the stories are true – on screen he bought films alive.

I was first introduced to him when my dad took me to the cinema to see the children’s adventure film Candleshoe, in which he played several frenzied roles requiring much rushing about and changing of clothes.

amateurgardening.com/blog

After that, I devoured his performances whenever they were on TV. As the frazzled cleric in The Bishop’s Wife, the ruthless killer in Guns of Navarone, Peter Ustinov’s insouciant sidekick in Death on the Nile and, of course, his appearances on Parkinson and other documentaries.

I also wolfed down his autobiographies The Moon’s a Balloon and Bring on the Empty Horses, even quoting one I my English A’level (possibly that’s what bagged me my A grade, another reason to adore the man).

I can picture him at my dinner party table, entertaining, flirting, making sure everyone had enough food and drink, basically oiling the wheels and being the perfect guest.

Victoria Wood

‘Yes, I do look rather startled don’t I. (The photo) was taken in a photo booth and somebody had just poked an éclair through the curtains’

The secret to great comedy is making it look effortless (see also the late, much lamented Robin Williams) and Victoria Wood has this effortlessness in spades.

Her skills lay in choosing the perfect word for the right situation and her acute social observations. She skewered us, but always kindly and never with the cruelty that so many comics use as their stock-in-trade.

She was also a generous writer, giving the best lines to co-stars – Julie Walters as Mrs Overall in Acorn Antiques (and, mutely, in the ineffable Two Soups), the cast of Dinnerladies, Patricia Routledge as an opinionated housewife from Cheadle in the increasingly drunken Kitty monologues ‘Then she asked ‘what to do think of Marx?’ I said ‘I think their pants have dropped off’.’

Comedy wasn’t her only strength. She was marvelous in the wartime drama Housewife, 49 as the real-life wartime wife and mother Nella Last who went from cowed domestic drudge to community stalwart.

amateurgardening.com/blog

I still laugh to the point of tears during her classic sketches – The Opinion Poll, Step Aerobics (on nicotine and HRT patches: ‘she’s got one arm telling her she can do what she likes and the other saying she can do what she likes but she can’t have a fag after’) and, of course, her sublime songs.

All together now: ‘Be mighty, be flighty, come and melt the buttons on my flame-proof nightie! Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight!’

I still can’t believe she’s gone.

Thomas Cromwell

A bit of historical rehabilitation is a glorious thing and none has been more unexpected than that of Thomas Cromwell, rapacious ruiner of the monasteries, destroyer of Catholics, the man who sent Anne Boleyn to the scaffold.

We have, of course, Hilary Mantel to thank for this, for had she not written Wolf Hall, Bring up the Bodies and The Mirror and the Light, the trilogy’s great hero may have languished unloved forever.

amateurgardening.com/blog

History has not been kind to the son of a Putney farrier. To Catholics he was the great scourge and to everyone else, well, everyone else either seemed to go along with it or really didn’t think too much about him at all.

Yes, Mantel’s novels may smack of propaganda but if you dilute that with a few drops of history and a bit of digging, the man before us is fascinating and wonderfully modern.

From the humblest of beginnings, he rose to become the second most powerful man in the kingdom after Henry VIII – and you can’t do that without being pretty adept and intelligent.

After his ragtag childhood he fled to Europe to fight as a mercenary, before working for the Florentine banker Frescobaldi and travelling to the Low Countries where he set up a web of contact and learned several languages.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Back in England he joined the household of Cardinal Wolsey, surviving his downfall before entering the service of the irascible monarch.

Cromwell was married (happily by all accounts) and widowed, he lost two of his three children to the sweating sickness, but his household was a happy place and he bestowed great kindnesses upon his friends, servants and retainers.

His portrait by Holbein shows a squat, sturdy chap – several sizes larger than Mark Rylance’s peerless characterization in the BBC Mantel adaptation – but not a cruel one. We know he was financially and politically astute (yes, he overplayed his hand and lost his head but by that time Harry 8 was syphilitically bonkers) but he was also loyal, kind and owned a sense of humour.

I can see him at the head of the table, costing out the wine, enjoying the food and bantering with Caravaggio in Italian. Perfect.

  Garry Coward-Williams

When I was asked this question I closed my eyes and my guests simply materialised from my subconscious, where they have been awaiting this invitation for many years.

As we go through life we pick up and store all sorts of information, from literature, music and film media, which has a profound influence on who we are, what engages us and what makes us happy or sad. My guests have all had a profound influence on me, shaping my thinking in many ways. It wasn’t until my guests were assembled that I realised they were all ‘outsiders’, people who bucked the system and shunned authority. They all have a philosophic trait and were known to be ‘thinkers’. Having said the aforementioned, they were also known to be quite witty and entertaining. I would start the evening off with one question: I doubt I would have to ask another.

My question is in two parts: Will the human race ever be able to peacefully co-exist without resorting to war? And if so, how? In no particular order, my guests…

  TE Lawrence – a national hero and something akin to a pop star

  T.E. Laurence

Better known to the public as Lawrence of Arabia, a painfully bright misfit who accidently became a leading light in the Arab revolt against the Ottoman Empire during WW1. Post-war, Lawrence became a national hero and something akin to a pop star thanks an American journalist who made him the central figure of his smash-hit lecture tour ‘With Lawrence In Arabia’.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Caught between loving the attention and hating the effect on his privacy and literary pretentions, Lawrence changed his name and joined the RAF as a private soldier. However, he was found out and it caused a national scandal. He wrote about his war experiences in a book called The Seven Pillars of Wisdom, and his time in the RAF in a book titled The Mint, but allowed neither to be published in his lifetime. A right-wing intellectual, he was killed in a motorcycle accident in 1935 that some believe was a government-sanctioned execution to prevent his recruitment by Sir Oswald Moseley’s fascists.

Tony Hancock

British comedian who, with script writers Ray Galton and Alan Simpson, changed the face of comedy by creating the first situation comedy series, initially on radio then television. Hancock’s rise to his height of fame in 1961 as Britain’s highest paid entertainer took 7 years.

His fall into alcohol addiction and eventual suicide took another 7 years. In some ways the real Hancock reflected his televisual alter ego —an outsider looking in, never fully accepted in or accepting of society. Constantly searching for the meaning of life, but never finding it. I loved Hancock’s droll and oh so British take on life, as seen by through the eyes of the aspirational lower middle class.

Michael Nesmith

A singer-songwriter from Houston Texas, Nesmith found fame with The Monkees , a TV series about a fictional pop band. Nesmith used his time with The Monkees to develop a new style of music, a fusion of country, Latin American rhythm and pop, thus becoming one of the pioneers of what would be known as Country Rock.

amateurgardening.com/blog

He left The Monkees to pursue the new genre further and from 1970 to 1973 produced six beautifully-crafted albums, which garnered critical approval, but were considerable commercial failures. In 1974 Nesmith changed tack with The Prison: a book, which was an allegory about the meaning of life, with a soundtrack album. The idea was to read the book whilst listening to the record and both combined would take the listener to a higher state of consciousness. It was another commercial failure, even greater than the others. Nesmith finally gave up making records in 1979 and created (and sold) the concept of Music TV.

Franz Kafka

Kafka was a German-speaking Bohemian who wrote extraordinary stories about alienation and the unyielding and frustrating power of bureaucracy. Like the Irish author Flann O’Brien, Kafka had no success during his lifetime and his major works like The Trial (Der Process) and The Castle (Das Schloss) were only published after his death.

amateurgardening.com/blog

Indeed, he stipulated to the executor of his will, Max Brod, that all his writings be burned, unread. But Brod ignored the this and published them to great eventual acclaim. It is said Kafka had a knack pulling the most profound of statements out of thin air in conversation. He was also known to have a great sense of humour.

I would recommend the book Conversations with Kafka, in which his friend Gustav Janouch records many of their chats including this snippet of profundity: “Life is infinitely great and profound as the immensity of the stars above us. One can only look at it through the narrow keyhole of one’s personal experience. But through it one perceives more than one can see. So above all one must keep the keyhole clean”

George Orwell

Born Eric Arthur Blair in India and educated at Eton, Orwell was a product of the old British Empire. On leaving the school system he headed in the footsteps of many of the upper-middle class decamping to the far reaches of the Empire, as a police inspector in Burma.

This gave him a perspective of what Empire really meant for the wealthy and the poor and after 5 years he left to become a writer. On returning to Britain Orwell gave himself the task of experiencing life among the poor in London, the working class in Wigan and later, abject poverty in Paris.

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He saw socialism as the way forward, but was pragmatic and open enough to see that the soviet form of communism was just as repressive as fascism. He was openly derided by the champagne-left, but his books like The Road to Wigan Pier, Down and Out in Paris and London and essays like England Your England have given us a unique insight on life in the late 1920s, early 1930s.

  We are here for you

Although many people are coping well with self-isolation, others are really struggling and feeling completely forgotten and alone.

Here at AG we are doing our best to keep connected to our readers though the magazine, this website and also through social media.

AG’s agony uncle John Negus is still answering your questions and solving your problms

Our gardening ‘agony uncle’ John Negus is also still working hard. Send him your problems and questions, with pictures if you can, and he will get back to you with an answer withing 24 hours, as he has been doing for decades. Contact him using the AG email address at amateurgardening@ti-media.com

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We already have thriving Facebook page but are also on Twitter and Instagram. These sites are a brilliant way of chatting to people, sharing news, information, pictures and just saying hello – we will get back to you as soon as we can.

Best of all, as gardeners are generally lovely folk, more interested in plants, hedgehogs, tea and cake than political shenanigans and point-scoring, so the chat is friendly and welcoming.

So please drop by, follow us, ‘like’ our posts and say hello – the Instagram feed is in it’s really early days so the quicker we can get that going with your help and support, the better!

You can find us at:

Facebook: Facebook.com/AmateurGardeningMagazine

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Daniel Marc Chant is an author of strange fiction. His passion for H. P. Lovecraft & the films of John Carpenter inspired him to produce intense, cinematic stories with a sinister edge.

Daniel launched his début “Burning House” in 2015, swiftly following with the Lovecraft-inspired “Maldición.” His most recent books “Mr. Robespierre”, “Aimee Bancroft and The Singularity Storm” and “Into Fear” have garnered universal praise.

He has featured in the anthology collections “Cthulhu Lies Dreaming” from Ghostwoods Books, “Death By Chocolate” from KnightsWatch Press, “VS.” from Shadow Work Publishing and “Bah! Humbug!” from Matt Shaw Publishing, and the upcoming “The Stars at My Door” from April Moon Books.

Daniel also created “The Black Room Manuscripts” a charity horror anthology & is a founder of UK independent genre publisher The Sinister Horror Company. Please welcome Daniel Marc Chant to Roadie Notes……

    1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I would have been around nine or ten at a guess. I was certainly in the later years of Primary School here in the U.K. During those formative years I was very interested in the Fighting Fantasy series of books as well as tabletop fantasy gaming. I remember writing a series of stories based around a burly Orc warrior named Grogan who was always caught up in some hapless adventure that required his specific brand of violence. No doubt inspired by early watching’s of Conan. Sadly Grogan’s adventures weren’t that great, but they do still exist somewhere in my parents attic. Along with my soul.

2. How many books have you written?

Well it depends on whether you count released and unreleased? Released I have Burning House, Maldicion, Mr. Robespierre, Aimee Bancroft and The Singularity Storm, Into Fear and One Girl Army – so that’s seven. Unreleased (but practically finished) I have Devil Kickers and Incarnate so that’s another two. All in all nine. Not a bad tally.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Sexual violence and animal cruelty. I’m no prude but I couldn’t personally use those subject matters and write a convincing tale that would justify their inclusion. Other writers have done so masterfully but I know I would struggle with it, and therefore it’s not for my fiction. I’ll leave that to others. My style is a cocktail of 80’s nostalgia, Lovecraftian mythos and John Carpenter homage.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

I’m 38 years young (he says with bones that crack every morning) and I live in Bath, Somerset U.K. with my girlfriend Christian Lourenco (yes, she does have a boy’s name, she’s half-French). No kids, never wanted any and luckily nor did Christian so we’re good on that front! During the day I am a mild-mannered office worker in the world of finance (there’s a far lengthier explanation of what I do, but it makes most people’s eyes glaze over so I’ll stick to that).

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

I would have to say Mr. Robespierre. It’s the encapsulation of the 80’s style horror that I adore as well as being a love letter to my good lady Christian. The little girl Chrissy is based on her, and her parents Dom and Sandy are based on her real parents. The book is full of little details and nods to incidental things that I think help flesh it out to be a believable slice of unbelievability. It all happened because I had just finished Maldicion and I (foolishly) asked her what she would like to read about in a book by me. Her response was, “cats, ghost, Madonna and me,” in that order. And so Mr. Robespierre was born.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

Many things. I fit within your typical horror author stereotype in the fact that I didn’t have a great experience during my school years (bullying and shit like that – don’t worry, I’m fine) so that led me to find escapism in other avenues. Books, comic books, films, and music became the universes that I would escape to. And the more you escape to a universe the more you want to be part of it, so you start creating elements to contribute towards it. At first clumsy fan-fiction and then as it develops you go further down the rabbit hole. The lightning bolt came when I first read H. P. Lovecraft at an impressionable age. His concepts really resonated with me, and still do to this day.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

I watch far too many movies. Far too many movies. And also I’m an avid gamer. For more socially acceptable pastimes I do love to cook and am fucking good at it, if I do say so myself. I blame the expectations of a half-French girlfriend.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Think it’s all shit and cry alone. Does that count?

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

I write at a table in my flat on a Samsung laptop. I always write to music. I cannot do it any other way. It’s always orchestral music too. Sometimes classical, sometimes film scores, sometimes video game scores, and other times just an eclectic mix of whatever Spotify throws at me. I tend to create a ‘mood’ playlist of stuff though and then play that. So for Maldicion it was all brooding pieces, Devil Kickers was Southern Blues, Mr. Robespierre was synth and so on.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

I pride myself on being a B-movie writer. What I mean by that is that I like to think of my work as self-contained little stories, like movies, that you’d find at the rental stories of my youth. You’d pick them up, watch them and have a laugh or a jump scare and then job done. I’m not, and never will be, the award-winning author whose works transcends the genre. I write monster books.

But the flip-side to that is that my scope can sometimes feel limited to me as I tend to be drawn to throw monsters in everything. And I mean everything. I’m not a master of subtlety and think I’ve got some work to do to in time to turn the dial down, rather than up, when a story gives an opportunity.

But still. Monsters.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

As I said above I have no aspirations to be the next Stephen King or whatever. I just want to write an entertaining yarn. If I make somebody lose themselves in the world I created for a few hours then that’s job done. I couldn’t be happier. In an ideal world I’d like to see a film or two based on something I’ve done but a boy’s got to dream right?

12. Where do you live?

Bath, Somerset U.K. A quaint little place that I love dearly. I’m not from here originally, I hail from a place called Gillingham, Dorset (which is also where Justin Park comes from funnily enough).

13. Pets?

None. And it breaks my heart! I adore animals. Where we live we are unable to have pets because British rental rules are random. You can have a screaming, shit spewing child that draws on the walls but you can’t have a cat that will sleep most of the day.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Monsters. And like I mentioned earlier I like to think of myself as a vendor of B-movie fiction and, being a fan of B-movie fiction, I like that my work does that.

15. What is coming next for you?

One Girl Army my young adult style novella is released on February 4th. That’s been a long time coming and is about a young woman whose relationship breaks down after she’s disovered her partner is cheating on her. She attends therapy (much to her dislike) to try to help and during these sessions each of her emotions takes physical form in her mind, kind of like Scott Pilgrim, and she must battle them to try and manage her depression and anxiety.

Incarnate is also imminent. It’s subtitled ‘a monstrous faerie tale’ and is an action adventure tale inspired by the works of Neil Gaiman and Guillermo Del Toro with my own twist. As with most of my stuff it features a female protagonist (I blame Aliens) trying to save her boyfriend from other-worldly horrors while being assisted by a demonic magic mirror.

Thanks for having me Becky! It’s been a blast!

You can connect with Daniel Marc Chant here: Twitter: @danielmarcchant,

facebook/danielmarcchant.

Sinister Horror Company – http://sinisterhorrorcompany.com/

Daniel Marc Chant author page – Author.to/DMC

A few of Daniel Marc Chant’s books:

Getting personal with Daniel Marc Chant Daniel Marc Chant is an author of strange fiction. His passion for H. P. Lovecraft & the films of John Carpenter inspired him to produce intense, cinematic stories with a sinister edge.