#all while ignoring that luke and lando have a death star each to their name

[galacticwildfire]

I think one of my favourite images to have of my oc Hope Solo is her at like six years old with her Dad who is Han freaking Solo, and then having two uncles who blew up a death star each, and just begging to meet her idol Hera Syndulla.

"How about you ask Uncle Luke or Uncle Lando about the death star, or Dad can tell you about one of his adventures in the Falcon."

"No Mom I want to meet Hera Syndulla."

And cut to Han in the background shaking his head in defeat that Hera finally won their longstanding rivalry courtesy of his six year old daughter.

[warzofstarz]

star wars Thoughts at 4 am

ok so rise of skywalker happened,,, and i have mixed feelings. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t love it either (and i usually love star wars movies), so i am in desperate need of a little rant about both the good and the bad in the conclusion of the saga

DISLIKE

1. JJ ABRAMS DISREGARDING ALL OF THE DEVELOPMENT WE EXPERIENCED DURING LAST JEDI. this is what i am most upset about. you don’t have to like tlj, but you can’t pretend it never happened. it’s like he was trying to completely backtrack on everything that happened in tlj bc it was ~his~ vision for the franchise. i think that is disrespectful to not only rian, but to fans who grew attached to the development of the characters. we see finn revert back to first movie finn (lovesick puppy lowkey), rey become an invincible child of the sith, the end of the skywalker family line, complete abandonment of rose, and a total shift in the message of the trilogy. all jammed last second into the film. the next few points all have to do w this

2. the fact that in tlj it is revealed that rey is truly nobody- she’s not some all-powerful descendant or some with royal blood- and tros completely ignores this and makes her a palpatine. the whole point before was that she’s normal, but that doesn’t make her any less powerful, smart, or strong. the message from the first two movies was that you don’t have to be in these elite categories to be special and powerful, which is an important message to every single child and adult watching. it empowers us as viewers to believe that we have the capability to be great, no matter our status, birth name, ethnicity, class, or where we are from. you can find family when you have none. you have the power to change your life. when jj decide LAST SECOND to make her a palpatine, with no clues thrown into the first two movies to lead us to believe this, it feels like a joke. the rey we had come to sympathize with is suddenly an all-powerful sith, seeming stronger than even anakin and yoda, even though she had never even completed training. this reveal is not emotional and literally loses respect rather than gaining any from the audience. a cop out. i felt less emotionally attached to rey than in the previous two films bc of her sheer perfect power

3. rose being 100% sidelined even though her character was incredible in last jedi. her arc was one that i truly couldn’t wait to see finish and sadly we never got it because she was completely abandoned so it could just be a trio once more. i love her. the disrespect.

4. the sudden introduction of zorri just so that poe has someone to flirt with??? like if you wanted to prove he was heterosexual make him flirt w someone he has actual on screen history and chemistry with, like uhhhh idk? rey?????? dont get me wrong tho she is a badass and i love how she shuts poe down!! queen

5. how they throw it in there that finn is force sensitive but don’t fully explain it?? and he never even tells rey??? this is SUCH a cool concept yet it’s never even hinted at until the third movie and its not further developed as to why. likewise i wish we saw the stormtroopers before they left the first order. see what they dealt with and the abuse they endured bc it’s such an important facet of the trilogy and literally drives finns character

6. how we never touch on why poe felt it when rey was tortured?

7. i wish leia hadn’t died and she rallied support w lando

8. if they are a dyad why didn’t rey and ben fight palpatine together?? then no one would have died??

9. i’m just really sad that they chose to kill ben because even though rey takes their name, the skywalker bloodline is gone, while a palpatine lives on. the entire purpose of the first six movies is anakin bringing balance by defeating palpatine. somehow, palpatine survived this (never explained!!!!), which completely defeated the purpose of the first six films and strips anakins chosen one status and ultimate sacrifice of any true importance. in the end of tros, the palpatine bloodline lives on while the skywalker bloodline is gone, and i can’t help but to feel like that contradicts the theme of the original saga in which the skywalkers defeat palpatine and hope lives on.

10. lastly, i just don’t think george lucas would have wanted ben to die. when people kill off main characters to make the movie more emotional, he has literally said “i don’t like that and i don’t believe that” he goes on to say that he hates when main characters are killed, stating “the whole point of the film, the whole emotion that i am trying to get at the end of the film, is for you to be real uplifted, emotionally and spiritually, and feel absolutely good about life. that is the greatest thing we could ever possibly do.” so, i’m sure some of you could see why i have a little issue with killing someone who has finally recognized the error of their ways and wants to be better. yes, he has done awful things that cannot be separated from his new identity as ben, but i think that it would have been even more impactful to make him live with the crimes he has committed and still make him keep fighting his demons to join his legacy on the light side. overall, bens death left a sour taste in my mouth, and for that reason i don’t walk out feeling uplifted. i just wish i knew what george lucas is thinking right now.

LIKE

1. ben solo’s arc and han. now, before some of you pop off at me, i still think he was awful and horrible and didn’t deserve instant forgiveness, but i also think that someone who has grown up his entire life being treated like the spawn of satan by all adults who are supposed to love him would fuck him up majorly, like it would to anyone else in that situation. i think that he deserved another chance at experiencing love and happiness, and i absolutely adored the scene with him and han solo. it was honestly one of the best parts of the whole movie. thank you harrison ford. the whole “i don’t think i’m strong enough” and him tearing up to his dad CUT DEEP. AND THE “dad-“ “i know” LIKE LITERALLY MY HEART. bringing back the “i love you” “i know” so they are LITERALLY TELLING EACH OTHER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! i’m at peace. adam driver’s acting was absolutely phenomenal. so much respect for him. truly incredible.

2. i loved poe and rey’s bickering. lowkey thought it built some chemistry between them. and how poe seemed quite jealous that finn knew stuff about rey that he didn’t, literally asking him more than once (1nce) about it, like???? han leia vibes. tea. but also poe and finn

3. i really liked jannah SOOO much (and i usually am not one for introducing a character so late) but, like i explained in detail above, i wish they had built that backstory better and introduced her a little bit sooner with more screen time. but i loved her and finns connection and understanding of their trauma.

4. FINN AND POE BEING THE CUTEST HUMANS EVER. that’s all. i just love how they care so very much about each other like stop. cogenerals.

5. ALL THE JEDI VOICES WERE SO FREAKING COOL. CHILLS.

6. i honestly think that’s all. i don’t have anything more

7. OH WAIT HUX BEING THE SPY. i ate that shit up. yes. we stan. AND the hint that he was going along w poe’s phone call in tlj so that the resistance could escape (that’s how poe KNEW it) like YES

8. the animation of young luke and leia made my heart weep

9. that lil sketchy bitch babu and the new cone droid that talks,, mmm

10. OH THAT THE FORCE BOND LETS THEM TRANSMIT OBJECTS THRU IT LIKE THE VADER MASK SCENE WAS ICONIC

11. this is so sad that i am putting this in my “like” parts but the fact that they didn’t kill chewie and that they showed him being so torn up about leias death

12. OH AND CHEWIE GETTING HIS MEDAL THAT WAS SO HYPE

13. rey burying the skywalker lightsabers and looking into the sunset, perfectly tying back to luke doing the same 42 years ago

overall, if i don’t think too hard, i did like it and felt kind of at peace. BUT it could’ve been much better @ JJ :/ i feel like it didn’t do the saga justice as the “conclusion of the saga” bc there is still so much left unanswered. but, like i said, i did enjoy it a lot and have so much love for this world. rant over. i love u star wars. thank u for everything. <3

[poesreyofsunshine]

My Thoughts on TROS

I’ve been wanting to write my thoughts on episode ix but i’ve been busy and i’ve gotten the chance to watch the film 3 times now.

SPOILERS AHEAD

(pretty long post)

I’m going to start with what I LOVED/ENJOYED 

Chewie/ Poe/ Finn Falcon- I loved this scene so much well any scenes with Poe and Finn because of the beautiful natural chemistry John and Oscar have with each other. I loved how they both know wookie now. The light speed skip was fun getting to see other planets.

Rey Meditating - My baby girl and her floating rocks, she’s come so far. I love how BB-8 keeps her company during her training. He really loves his Mom. Leia is her master (cried when she called her Master). I love the relationship between Leia and Rey.

Rey Training- Rey doing the training course was EVERYTHING!!!! Her saying that she will earn Luke’s saber like she wants to be worthy to earn it. Never underestimate a droid. (My heart)

Falcon Arriving-  Rey reading her Jedi Text Books she’s so cute and i loved how the other resistance members their reaction to the Falcon coming back and the pilot letting her know the Falcon is here and how she runs to go see her friends.  ugghhh my heart.

THE TRIO !!!!!!- OMG THE BICKERING WITH POE AND REY WOW WE’VE BEEN BLESSED. TO TALLY HANLEIA VIBES. YOU’RE A DIFFICULT MAN. FINN BEING THE MIDDLE MAN. JOHN BOYEGA HAS THE BEST FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EVER !!! OBVIOUSLY THEY’VE BEEN BICKERING SINCE AFTER TLJ AND I WOULD PAY BIG MONEY TO SEE THAT. OK SO BACK TO THE TRIO  IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY THAT THIS IS THE ONLY DAM MOVIE WE SEE THEM AS A TRIO. I’VE BEEN EXPECTING THIS TRIO SINCE TFA WAS ANNOUNCE AND WELL TLJ (don’t even get me started on that movie) YOU CAN FEEL  THAT TIME HAS GONE BY.

PASAANA- MORE TRIO SCENES YES YES YES !!! I loved loved how Poe was getting down to business right away and Rey is taking everything in, she’s like a little kid. That scene with her and the child was so sweet. LANDO’S INTRODUCTION i’ve missed him. THE CHASE SCENE, POE DOING THAT SWERVE THING UGGGHHHHH the NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A DROID  part and Rey’s little smile.

CAVE SCENE- Poe catching Rey and calling her name out first (MY DAMEREY SHIPPER HEART) C-3PO “You didn’t say my name sir but i’m alright” . Poe being jealous of Finn & Rey. “You mean when poe’s not here?” Poe using his flashlight after Rey takes out her lightsaber such a cute funny moment and again Finn’s face. They find the dagger and Rey healing the snake was cool because we can see how advanced she is with her jedi training so that was cool to see.

CHEWIE’S FAKE DEATH- the force lightning (i predicted that in one of my awful fan fics i wrote after tfa so jj i’m waiting for my credit) 

FOR CHEWIE/ D-O- I loved the hand holding scene. Finn is so comfortable with human touch and Poe not wanting to hold his hand then C-3PO joins in and Poe looks annoyed. D-O Rey being so comforting to that droid because she knows she’s been hurt before and now she’s with great people in her life. ugghhh my heart.

KIJIMI/ BABU FRIK- TRIO WEARING THE JACKETS ALONGSIDE C-3PO we stan. When Poe warned Zori and her crew and Rey just kicked everyone’s ass. Zori and Rey moment i loved. Zori sacrificing something that was going to get her out so Poe can help his friends was a really sweet moment. BABU FRIK i’m obsessed. Rey fixing D-O’s wheel so it won’t squeak again. C-3PO sacrificing his memory so he can help Rey. I was so happy how much C-3PO was used in this film.

RESCUING CHEWIE- AGAIN MORE TRIO. JJ REALLY SAID TRIO RIGHTS. I really enjoyed the scenes with Poe Finn and Chewie.

REY IN KYLO’S QUARTERS- I hate reylo but i have to admit this is one of the strongest scenes of these two. Daisy’s acting ugghhhh *chef’s kiss* It was so good. I liked how she was trying to ignore him while grabbing chewie’s belongings.

JANNAH- I had a feeling she was First Order, i loved how she reacted when Finn told her who he was. He really inspired other stormtroopers to leave the First Order. This is the Finn content we’ve been missing.

DARK REY: That was really cool. The teeth. SCARY. I wanted more of her lightsaber duel with Dark Rey.

REY KILLS KYLO- That moment was so powerful to me. She killed this character who has been tormenting the Galaxy. She was scared of what she did she left like Luke did.

BEN/ HAN SOLO: I Know part that hit me uggghhhh i loved that we got to see Ben reborn and at this moment I knew that he was going to sacrifice himself because of what Han said about Leia always fighting for the cause. t was a beautiful moment.

LEIA’S DEATH: Rey & Kylo feeling her die. Well Ben lost his mother and Rey lost a mentor so that was nicely done. CHEWIE’S REACTION TO HER DEATH wow that broke my heart into a million little pieces. I couldn’t stop sobbing.

GENERALS POE/ FINN: Poe asking Lando for advice and Poe asking Finn to command with him and they’re both generals. It was such a cute moment. 

REY/LUKE & LUKE/LEIA JEDI TRAINING: THIS HAD TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES. The Luke that we saw was the Luke I wanted in TLJ. From him giving her Leia’s saber and the small scene we got to see of Luke and Leia training like can we get a series of that PLEASE. Luke using the force to lift his x-wing from the water. His little smirk when he finished, yes YODA would be proud.

REY FLYING LUKE’S X-WING: She gets to fly an x-wing after watching them from jakku and putting on the helmet. Rey deserves the world.

BEN SOLO- I WANTED MORE BEN SOLO AND WE WERE ROBBED. He’s such an interesting character and I wish we would’ve seen more of Ben Solo before TFA. He’s very much like Han. The shooting without looking and when Rey passed him the lightsaber through their bond i was shook. That scene was so powerful. She finally got to see Ben who she’s been seeing in this visions that we never see. Ben & Rey teaming up was awesome. That fighting sequence against the knights of ren was amazing choreography.

THERE ARE MORE OF US/ WEDGE ANTILLES- That moment of poe losing hope it broke my heart we had that moment when he was talking to Zori about he feels like no one is going to help them. He’s apologizing to everyone uggghhhhh and then Lando to the rescue with the main star wars theme song playing in the background. *chef’s kiss* and wedge antilles’s small cameo my heart. I almost fell out of my seat lol i got way too excited.

REY’s & BEN’s DEATHS- I know people hated the fact that she killed Palpatine but I really liked that scene. She used both Skywalker sabers to defeat Palpatine and she had all the jedi with her. It made sense for her to die in that moment. Because Ben rose and wow that scene when he was holding her again this is Adam’s best acting. Again i’m not a reylo but i felt his pain. He finally did what Anakin never did he saved someone he loved and that was so significant. His death made sense to me. Honestly they wouldn’t have accepted him in the resistance because of everything kylo did. He sacrificed himself do Rey can carry the Skywalker legacy. Leia giving him the strength he needed to save Rey was beautiful and both disappearing. He gets to reunite with his family as Ben Solo.

FINN FEELING REY’S DEATH-

TRIO REUNION- Poe and Finn reunion was so cute the way Poe reacted to seeing Poe. Both of them looking for Rey and her looking for both of them.THAT FUCKING HUG WAS EVERYTHING BETWEEN THE 3 OF THEM. FINN BEING IN THE MIDDLE AND HIM CRYING MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL. THERE EACH OTHER’S FAMILY. POE AND REY HAND HOLDING.

TATOOINE- Full Circle, ending where it started was a perfect ending. Her coming in the Falcon and sliding down the sand just how she did in TFA. She buried the skywalker sabers in luke’s home. And ending with her saying she’s Rey Skywalker like yes you are going to carry that legacy and her walking with BB-8 and the twin suns was just in my opinion a good ending. NO SHE DID NOT END UP ALONE. SHE HAS FINN, POE, CHEWIE, ROSE, LANDO, C-3PO, D-O, SHE HAS A FAMILY. THAT WAS SOMETHING SHE HAD TO DO ON HER OWN !!!!!!!!

WHAT I DID NOT LIKE .....

OPENING- With Kylo i hated the way it was show the slow motion it was just unecessary. Exogol was really scary I liked where Palpatine was it just seemed very Sith like. There wasn’t really a clear explanation on how he survived (maybe i missed it) but like how has been alive?????? It would’ve been great to see little clues of Palpatine since TFA. That delivery line of Poe “Somehow Palpatine is back...” was just like okay he’s back accepted without an explanation. Where did all the people for the final order come from. They’ve been inside those star destroyers all this time ?

REY LOOKING AT ? - Um maybe im dumb but what was Rey staring at before they left to Pasaana and Poe asked her what is it and she said nothing.... like okay what was it???? PLEASE SOMEONE EXPLAIN !!!

ROSE?/ CONNIX/ SNAP/ DOMINIC MONAGHAN/ BLACK SQUADRON - So Rose was given like 3 lines um JJ WTF her character deserved better and what about that scene with Rose & Rey why was it cut ???? Same with Connix i really enjoy her character and was disappointed there was barely any Connix. SNAP DYING HURTED SO MUCH. I am a huge fan of the Aftermath series and knowing Wedge was there ugghhhh im so mad he had to die. Dominic Monaghan was a pointless character who had more lines than Rose why was he in this movies he served NO PURPOSE AT ALL !!! AND WHERE WAS BLACK SQUADRON ???????????????????

Lando/ Luke- We should’ve seen them together in TLJ or TFA trying to find the wavefinder or whatever it’s called. Or at least Luke mention it to Rey that he was in search for something or he’s heard rumors about palpatine being alive and he went looking for clues. Why did Luke want to go find it ? Was this after Ben became Kylo Ren? 

REY’S NECKLACE- WHY ARE REYLOS ROMANTICISING KYLO YANKING THE NECKLACE OUT OF REY ???? THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC OR WHATEVER THAT’S LIKE WHAT ABUSERS DO .... 

Finn’s Secret- Poe is one of his best friends and also Rey like why does he want to hide that from Poe. I know Poe would understand and if we were given a scene with the trio and Finn explaining him being force sensitive that would’ve been *chef’s kiss* they would be so supportive and Finn deserves the world.

Chewie’s Fake Death- Rey had a way stronger reaction to his death than Poe and Finn they were kind of like we have to go and didn’t really comfort Rey or seemed afraid or confused it was just kind of ignored like let’s go... idk it was very weird to me the way it was handled.

KNIGHTS OF REN- I WAS SO EXCITED TO FINALLY SEE THEM ACTION TO REALIZE AGAIN THEY WERE A WASTE. I WISH WE COULD’VE SEEN MORE OF THEM. DISAPPOINTED.

FINN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND REY- Rey was starting to piss me off when all Finn was trying to do was understand her and for her to talk to him. The fact that Finn’s story arc in this movie is all about Rey and him chasing her all the time. FINN DESERVED A BETTER ARC

POE BEING A DRUG DEALER- I’M BEYOND PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS !!! YOU’RE TELLING ME THE SON OF 2 REBELS BECAME A DRUG DEALER. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS UGLY BACKSTORY. HE WAS ON A SECRET MISSION THAT WOULD’VE MADE MORE SENSE !!!!!!

FINN NOT WANTING TO SHARE HIS SECRET YET AGAIN- FINN NOT TRUSTING POE ABOUT HIM BEING FORCE SENSITIVE LIKE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE THAT’S HIS BEST FRIEND !!!!

HUX BEING THE SPY/ DEATH- THIS WOULD’VE BEEN MORE SHOCKING IF THIS WAS BUILD UP SINCE TFA BECAUSE HONESTLY I WASN’T SHOCKED WHEN IT WAS REVEALED. HIS DEATH WOULD’VE MADE MORE SENSE.

FINN/POE ARGUMENT- I get it friends fight but that was kind of low. “You’re not Leia”

FINN RUNNING AFTER REY- YET AGAIN, I know he cares but at this point I was over it.

KYLO/ REY DUEL- It started off good but it became too long I became bored.

ALL THE JEDI- FORCE GHOSTS OF ALL THE JEDI WOULD’VE MADE THIS SCENE MUCH MUCH BETTER. I loved hearing the voices but just think of the impact if we would’ve seen the past jedi.

REYLO KISS- Maybe because i’m anti-reylo but that kiss seemed very awkward and not in the right place. It felt like it wasn’t needed. That’s my 2 cents.

FORCE GHOSTS AT THE END- I know we only get Luke & Leia but what about Anakin and Ben they are also Skywalkers. If all of them would’ve been looking at Rey when she said Rey Skywalker. SHE IS CARRYING ON THEIR LEGACY !!!

Anyways it seems like I was more of a fan of seeing the trio together and that’s that. A lot of unanswered questions that they completely ignored. Like Maz how did she have Anakin’s lightsaber?????? Who gave it to her???? It was never touched again. They left so many plotholes in this sequel trilogy. 

[forsythiaas]

TROS reaction + rant

Spoilers for the Rise of Skywalker 

Okay first the short section: Things I liked about the movie

1. Oscar Isaac’s butt looking great. 

2. Jannah is amazing, wish she had been introduced earlier.  

3. Cinematography on the old death star scene battle was stunning and felt like something we hadn’t seen before. 

4. John Boyega is great in this, even though he doesn’t get a ton of character development. Love the fact that he’s force-sensitive. (I know he didn’t love his character’s plot line in TLJ, but for me, that movie gave him way more interiority and let him be the one that someone falls in love with. In this one, he does a lot more running around, just shouting “REY.” )

Things I didn’t like because they didn’t work but not because they’re innately wrong 

1. Rey being a Palpatine. I would have preferred that they stuck with she is a nobody, but I don’t absolutely hate the idea of her being a Palpatine. In some ways, it’s sort of a cool idea that a Palpatine is the one who gets to continue the true Skywalker legacy. Her and Ben together prove that choosing the light or the dark isn’t a predestination sort of thing determined by your ancestry. 

But I don’t think they handled it all that well in this movie. There is no real explanation for it, the way Rey learns about it is odd, they don’t devote enough time for us to really understand how she feels about it, it retcons a lot of other stuff, etc. JJ should have stuck with the decision Rian made. 

2. Leia’s ending. I know Carrie Fisher’s death meant that we were never going to get the send-off she really deserved. Yet her death scene in this felt oddly bland (I was much more emotional at her flying across the stars in TLJ). I like the idea that she sacrificed herself to bring Ben back to the light, but I don’t understand how that even worked. Some people are saying that she gave her life force to him, some people are saying that she used it to project the memory of Han. Either way, it didn’t make sense to me. 

And the scenes that she were in were stilted enough that I think perhaps the movie should have just opened with her funeral like some people said. The only moment when I really got emotional about her death was when Chewie broke down. 

3. Ben/Rey Romance - Okay, the kiss I actually did sort of hate. But honestly, we saw Rey being a full-on corpse like two seconds before. Would you really want to kiss someone, then? And while the actors have good chemistry and the characters have always had...sexual tension, let’s call it...it never felt explicitly romantic. Especially because Ben is a WAR CRIMINAL. I get that they sort of try to separate Kylo Ren and Ben in this movie, but to me, they’re still the same person. Also, at the beginning it seemed like they were trying to say that Palaptine manipulated him from the beginning, but again, that explanation is not fleshed out enough. 

I was all for a Ben Solo redemption arc in this movie, but I think it being paired with a romantic connection between the two actually weakens the whole thing. I like the idea that they’re equal within the force, but it definitely felt out of character for Rey to kiss him. 

Things I HATED 

1. The sidelining of Rose Tico. This I could go on about for ages. In TLJ, we meet Rose, and she is just as devoted to the Resistance cause as Poe, smart, romantic, tough. I love that she is an engineer, not technically “special” in anyway, but she brings a real-life knowledge about how war really works behind-the-scenes. The fact that she’s grieving her sister in that film also adds so much emotional weight to the movie. For once, we see the impact that war has on an ordinary family. 

I wanted Rose joining the gang. I wanted Rey and Rose interacting, becoming friends. I wanted Rose’s engineering knowledge to come in and save the day at a crucial point. Even if she occupied more of a Lando in RotJ-like role (separate but definitely important) to keep the “trio” integrity intact (an obsession that JJ seems to have which I don’t quite understand because he didn’t even bother to introduce Poe and Rey in the first movie), I’d be okay, but for her to have like five lines? Shameful. 

The fact that this movie also never acknowledges Rose’s confession about loving Finn really angers me. Finn and Poe’s (very straight) romantic feelings are played for laughs in this, yes, but for Rose’s to just be completely ignored? Even if you thought her feelings for Finn came out of left field in TLJ, you have to admit it was a completely brave move to confess, an act that Finn himself can’t pull off in this one. Fine, don’t have them be together. Have her be bitter about it, have things be awkward between them, show that she still loves him, at least give us some acknowledgement that that confession actually mattered. 

2. General writing sloppiness - Macguffins galore. The jumping around constantly. Characters making sacrifices that don’t matter at all. Some truly terrible dialogue. This felt like 5 movies stuffed into one. 

Also not entirely related, but Poe is legitimately cruel to C3PO at certain points in this movie, and it’s totally played for laughs. Droid rights! 

3. The fact that the queer representation was like two seconds long. Hey, did you guys know Poe is like super straight? And Finn is like super straight? And they constantly are trying to get the attention of the girl they like. Oh yeah, Commander D’Arcy is gay, but you’re not interested in meeting her partner or learning her name or anything like that. Let’s have Poe hit on Zorri one more time. 

If we couldn’t have Finn and Poe get together, I was at least hoping there would be one successful romance in the movie. I think it would have been meaningful for the first black lead in a Star Wars movie to have found love (preferably with Rose, but I would have actually been okay if they hinted at a successful Finn/Rey romance in the end). 

Also, the hug between the three of them (Poe, Rey, and Finn) at the end didn’t really work for me. Compare that one to Luke’s hugs with Leia and Han in RotJ, and it falls completely flat. I like the idea that Rey has a found family, but to be honest, it doesn’t even seem like her and Poe like each other that much in this movie. 

4. NO ANAKIN - Anakin really should have been the thread that tied all three trilogies together. Up until this trilogy, he was the main character of the whole saga. He was the literal chosen one. To bring Palpatine back but not use Anakin at all or even really talk about his legacy makes his sacrifice seem completely meaningless. I’m not at all convinced that Palpatine won’t just return in another 15 years or that a new Empire/First Order won’t just appear in another year or so. There isn’t even any mention of restoring balance to the force, the whole thing that Anakin was destined to do. We’re back to Sith bad, Jedi good. 

[fireflyfish]

battlefront matchup anon again, i'm now very excited to read the Local Force Users Anonymous meeting fic, thank you for this hilarity

Hello again, Nony! Ask and Fishy shall deliver… some of the time… when I don’t have a season to work on… or Rex to poke. 

This ask and the insanity below was inspired by this lovely gifset. 

***

Don’t Bring a Blaster to a Lightsaber Fight

A.K.A A Weekly Meetup for Local Force Users

***

Han Solo, known scoundrel, smuggler and the only person to make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, if you rounded down, found himself in a strange place. He had somehow ended up, of course through no fault of his own, in an industrial part of… somewhere that was wrapped in blue fog and was, for reasons unknown to him, standing in a puddle, even though he was pretty sure it hadn’t rained that day.

Walking forward, Han could see that he was not alone in the mysterious blue place with incongruous puddles and machinery that looked like it would explode if you looked at it too long.

As he walked, Han could see a row of dark-robed figures lining up in front of him, a few meters away. They stood in a line like a holo boy band and Han was going to tell them that until he realized that he was standing in front of Darth Vader, the bastard who had tortured him to lure his good friend Luke into a trap. And then cut off Luke’s hand because symbolism? Who knows but it was a bad move, Anakin. A very bad move.

Sarcastic comment now dead on his lips, Han Solo pulled out his blaster and aimed it straight at Darth Vader’s heart, ignoring the fact that the last time he had tried to shoot Darth Vader it had gone over about as well as the first time he tried to win the Falcon from Lando in a game of sabaac. Although in Han’s defense Lando cheated and I suppose one could argue that secretly having the Chosen One be the Empire’s ruthless and brutal enforcer is kind of cheating too.

But we digress.

While Vader waited next to what Han could only assume was the Emperor, flanked by some old dude posing dramatically and a guy who looked he got an awesome buy-one-get-one deal at a tattoo shop, three other people strode up towards Han. One was an attractive young woman in a quilted vest with brown hair and a lightsaber as well as a handsome gentleman with hair that could only be described as “swooshy” in white armor and his own lightsaber.

Han Solo was starting to worry that he had somehow ended up in some kind of strange Jedi street fight when his best friend Luke showed up, swinging around his new green lightsaber like he actually knew what he was doing.

Which he did. Right?

“Kid,” Han hissed to Luke, trying to keep a level and intimidating gaze as the face off continued. “Who are these people?”

Luke shrugged a little in his defensive stance. “Besides Vader and the Emperor, I’m not really sure.”

“Who are you people?” the young woman next to Han asked, looking like she was ready to go toe to toe with some seriously bad motherkriffers who probably had at least 150 years of experience on her and her awesome looking vest. She also, inexplicably, had a crisp Coruscanti accent that has never been explained to either Han or the author’s knowledge.

“I’m Luke Skywalker and this is my friend, Han Solo,” Luke said as the villians continued to stand there, looking evil, foreboding and black. These guys really liked black and red.

“You’re Han Solo?” the girl to Han’s right gasped in shocked delight. “You’re alive?!”

“Am I not supposed to be?” Han asked in reply, looking over at Luke very confused. “Is this more of your hokey Force religion, Luke?”

“Skywalker, did you say?” the really disarmingly-attractive man in the white armor asked, peering all the way around to frown at Luke. “Did I hear you correctly? Your name is Luke Skywalker?”

“Yes, that’s my name. Do I know you?” Luke replied.

“My name is Rey and… well… the last time I saw you, you were… a lot older and…” Rey frowned, still talking to Han, and looked away, as if carrying a heavy burden before cheering up. “But this is wonderful! You’re alive! The Force is amazing! I have to tell General Organa!”

“You wouldn’t happen to be related to someone named Anakin Skywalker, would you?” asked the ginger haired man with the armor and sexy accent.

“Leia is a general?” Han gaped, confused.

“That’s my father,” Luke said, also confused because there are a lot of people talking at the same time and it’s getting hard to keep track of them. “Why? Do you know him?”

“Yes, she’s leading the resistance against the First Order,” Rey explained with a stars in her eyes as she beheld her hero in his younger, sexier form. Poor girl. Your author hopes she never watches Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade because that has ruined your author for all other Harrison Ford movies.

“Know him? He’s my former padawan,” the man at the end of the line up of heroes said with a charming, toothy smile and a jaunty laugh. “I don’t know where he is at this moment but once I take care of this, I’m going to go find him and save him from whatever nonsense he’s gotten himself into.”

***

Meanwhile, a few meters away.

Darth Vader grit his teeth and vowed vengeance against the young, handsome, charming, attractive– had he always been that sexy in armor?– Obi-Wan Kenobi talking to his son like he didn’t even know that he, the fallen Anakin Skywalker, was right there. He was right there and Obi-Wan wasn’t even paying attention to him. The utter gall of that man!

How dare Obi-Wan show up now, looking so… so… hot and young and beautiful? And wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Vader was pretty sure he had killed Obi-Wan and immediately regretted it but that’s how Anakin rolls, gentle readers on the Death Star.

“Allow me to rid this galaxy of Kenobi’s infuriating presence once and for all, my master,” Vader rumbled in that terrifying voice that sounded nothing like his real voice but that’s okay because we have that traumatizing Rebels episode for that particular heartbreak.

“No,” Count Dooku intoned, his ominous voice rumbling through the area like thunder because his best buddy Gandalf helpfully volunteered to do the sound effects for this battle. “I will be the one to bring Kenobi to the Dark Side once and for all. He could be a powerful ally and it’s what Qui-Gon would have wanted.”

“If anyone is going to kill KENOBAEAUGUHGHA it is going to be me!” Maul snarled and paced around because that’s what he does when he’s being evil. He snarls, paces and says KENOBAEAUGUHGHA over and over again. Honestly, it gets kind of weird after a while.

Palpatine just covered his face with his hand and muttered to himself. “I should have killed that sexy ginger myself.”

***

“Padawan? What’s a padawan?” Luke asked because, again, he had like a weeks worth of training in the Jedi arts and the author is pretty sure Yoda had more important things to do than to go into the naming nomenclature of the Jedi order. “Wait… Obi-Wan? Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?!”

Obi-Wan gave Luke that charming, sexy grin of his and nodded. “Yes, I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luke. And you two as well, Han and Rey.”

“Uh… Hi,” Han said, waving his hand a little as Rey peered around him to gasp at Luke.

“Luke Skywalker?!” Rey almost squealed with delight because let’s be honest here, Gareth Pugh Couture Jumpsuit Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker is PEAK Luke. “I have your lightsaber! I need you to teach me how to be a Jedi!”

Han Solo took a step back while the lightsaber wielding crazies, as a wise man once called them, talked to and over each other. Or rather, while Rey and Luke tried to have a three-way conversation that Obi-Wan was occasionally roped into when someone needed to be gently corrected as to how the Force and the Jedi Order worked.

“No, we don’t mind control people like that, Rey.”

“Luke, that is nothing like what a defensive Soresu stance should look like. Who taught you that?”

“Yes, I agree, that lightsaber sounds most immature and poorly built. Who did you say made it? Kylie Ren?”

Han, being the clever and observant type, noticed that the Dark Side users, that was what Luke called them, were all glaring over at Obi-Wan and since Han wasn’t in the mood to get stabbed or lose a hand like Luke, he decided to interrupt the impromptu Light Side pow-wow. “Hey… so… Vader, I know, and I’m pretty sure that guy in the hooded robe is Emperor Palpatine but does anybody know what’s up with Grampa and Pointy over there? Are they a part of your Fist Order, Rey?”

“It’s First Order, not Fist Order and, no, I’ve never seen them before,” Rey said, frowning. “Although I have heard of Darth Vader, mostly in passing. He died on the second Death Star over Endor. Him and the Emperor.”

“There’s another Death Star?” Han and Luke groaned at the same time. And a third one too but the author did not have time to go into all of that.

“Gramps and Pointy,” Obi-Wan explained, enjoying a good chuckle at Maul’s expense like we all should, pointing to each man in turn. “Are Sith Lords. Count Dooku was my master’s master, a fallen Jedi who now goes by the name of Darth Tyranus. He tried to recruit me to the Dark Side and cut off my padawan’s arm. And Pointy is Darth Maul, who murdered my master. I cut him in half and kicked him down a plasma shaft but apparently he shook that off somehow.”

Luke gaped in horror. “You cut him in HALF and he LIVED?”

“Next time I’ll aim for his neck,” Obi-Wan shrugged.

“KENOBAEAUGUHGHA!” Maul bellowed from a few meters away where the Sith Lords were standing in place because authorial intent is stronger than the Dark Side. “At last I will have my revenge!”

“Fool,” Dooku bellowed with a dramatic flourish of his cape. “You are but a mad dog, a tool my master used to bring himself to power. Kenobi will be a great ally to the Sith once turned.”

“Silence!” Vader said in that lovely James Earl Jones bass, clenching his fist as if he could squeeze the life out of Obi-Wan like he did to Admiral Ozzel, Captain Needa and others who out of an abundance of tact the author will not name. “I am going to be the one to finally destroy Obi-Wan Kenobi and then the Jedi Order’s failures will be complete.”

Luke and Rey exchanged a glance and turned to Obi-Wan, horrified at the narrative arc of his life.

Obi-Wan sighed. “Oh, is it Tuesday again?”

Emperor Palpatine muttered to himself under his breath. “You had one job, Commander Cody. Just one! But, no! You couldn’t even do that right! Why did I even order a Clone Army? They spent most of their time getting cool-looking tattoos and painting their armor! Hell! Captain Rex was more concerned about getting airtime and being cast in Return of the Jedi than carrying out my master plan!”

Now Han Solo, for all the grief the author has given him in this story that has gone on longer than they wanted, is a smart man. One does not smuggle spice, coaxium, or whatever in the age of the Empire unless one is clever and quick on his feet and Han Solo is pretty quick on his feet.

Especially when running away from a bunch of stormtroopers on the Death Star. The author thinks he might have broken a record or something in that scene.

Anyway, Han Solo realized that a few things about the situation he found himself it.

Number one, he didn’t want to fight Vader and get his blaster stolen again.

Number two, everyone at the informal Force Users of Star Wars meetup seemed oddly obsessed with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Number three, there was a way out of this if he just played his cards right. And as Han would tell you, he is very good at cards.

Clearing his throat, Han Solo announced in a loud voice that just barely managed to pierce the din of Force users talking about Obi-Wan Kenobi. “None of you love Obi-Wan Kenobi as much as I do.”

“What?!” Vader barked, looking around for the person who dared to lay claim to the mantle of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Number One Fan and Nemesis. “Who said that?”

“Just his biggest fan,” Han Solo said again, smirking at Vader. “I even got an official certificate from the Jedi Order in here somewhere.”

“You do not!” Vader protested angrily. “I made them stop giving those out after they tried to give Ahsoka one!”

“What?!” Obi-Wan gaped, stunned. “What official certificate?”

“Nonsense! Kenobi is my life’s goal! My mission and obsession! I am his greatest fan!” Maul snarled, shoving his way forward into the crowd that was slowly starting to form not so much around Obi-Wan but more like in front of him, so that his adoring crowd could all show off how much they loved him and were willing to kill everyone in the galaxy to prove it. Because that’s healthy.

Well, Palpatine just wanted to kill Obi-Wan once and for all but even he had to admit the man was nice on the eyes.

“Maybe that’s why Commander Cody missed,��� Palpatine muttered in an aside as he tried to hobble around the bickering crowd.

“Kenobi is my grandpadawan!” Dooku insisted, refusing to let the younger Sith steal away his prize. “If anyone has that right, it should be me!”

“Listen, I didn’t want to have to throw my weight around like this but I am the main character of this story,” Luke insisted, almost elbowing Maul in the face as he tried to get a word in. “And Obi-Wan did spend eighteen years on Tatooine AND I am a Skywalker so if anybody is going to be Obi-Wan’s biggest fan, I think it should be me.”

“TATOOINE?!” Vader exploded. “You were on Tatooine all this time?! You made my poor, sexy master waste away on Tatooine?!”

“Excuse me, Lord Vader,” Palpatine interjected. “But I am your master, remember?’

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Sheev,” Vader muttered, rolling his eyes behind his mask. “Listen, Luke, son, kid, I know you’re new to this whole ‘Jedi business’ but let me straighten you out. As Obi-Wan Kenobi’s former padawan learner, I get first dibs on him, okay? Me, not you, not Grumpy Grandpa over here and definitely not Rage-Face Robo-Legs over here.”

“But you’re a Sith Lord!”

“Does that look like it’s stopping any of the rest of Obi-Wan’s fanboys? Hell! I bet even Palpatine has a few sexy pictures of his from the Clone Wars.”

“I knew I never should have told you about my secret thirst tumblr, Vader!”

“See what I mean?”

While this heated battle of words, fannish desire and single minded obsession devotion continued on apace, Han Solo took his opportunity to make his escape. He was going to try to get Luke’s attention but it was clear that Luke had fallen under the sway of Kenobi and wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. Rey also looked like she wanted to elbow her way into the squabble of McQueen black robes and knee high Chanel boots but Han reached out to stop her. “C’mon, kid, we’re getting out of here.”

“But we can’t just leave them!” Rey insisted in that way that reminded Han of Leia but also Luke. He wondered if perhaps Rey was related to them somehow because it seemed like everyone was related to a Skywalker these days but quickly forgot it in the heat of the moment.

“They’ll be fine,” Han insisted, seeing a break in the blue fog encircling the nonsense he found himself in. “Besides, what are we going to do against four bad guys with lightsabers?”

Rey opened her mouth to insist that she had somehow managed to download Kylo Ren’s ability to wield a lightsaber but then she realized she would have to explain Kylo Ren to Han Solo and she just didn’t have the heart to tell him about that because your author is STILL salty about that, gentle reader. STILL SALTY. “All right let’s go. Obi-Wan? We’re leaving. Are you coming with us?”

Obi-Wan was leaning against a pile of old rubble, watching the Luke and the Sith Lords squabble over him. He looked over at Rey and Han, waving them off. “Oh, no, thank you, my dear. I’m quite used to this by now. I’m sure Ahsoka and Captain Rex will be along in a minute to pick me and Luke up. You two go on and may the Force be with you both.”

Rey looked at Han Solo, who shrugged, and with that they both ran for the fog.

“That isn’t even your real voice, Skywalker! How can you truly do credit to the name of KENOBAEAUGUHGHA if you have to rely on James Earl Jones to sound intimidating?”

“What are you even saying? That sounds nothing like my grandpadawan’s name! It must be said with deep, solemn and regretful feeling. You have to project. Like this. Kenobi.”

“Why are all my apprentices obsessed with this Kenobi? He’s not even that attractive. Now Qui-Gon Jinn? That was a man!”

Obi-Wan groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Yup, this was just another Tuesday.

[onceuponmystory]

I Have Finally Found Peace With The Rise of Skywalker

And it's all thanks to my crazy, wonderful, just-as-obsessed-with-Star-Wars-as-I-am best friends.

But before I tell you how we did it, I have to give you guys two rather important warnings concerning this post. 

First and foremost, please beware that there will be MAJOR SPOILERS for The Rise of Skywalker in this post. If you haven't seen the movie, proceed at your own risk, and don't say I didn't warn you.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, this post is quite critical of the movie. I examine in detail everything I thought was bad about The Rise of Skywalker, and give my opinion on how it could have been done better.

But that doesn't mean this is a negative post - in fact, I hope to achieve quite the opposite. With the help of my friends, I realised that the best way to make your peace with The Rise of Skywalker is to talk through it and play Teacher With A Red Pen on the parts you didn't like.

I have to warn you that I tend to get a little carried away playing Teacher With A Red Pen. There's just so much to say about this movie... But if you're up to reading an insanely long post, I really think it'll be worth your while. 

Now, since this is a free era, we are all entitled to our own opinions, and this is mine. You are perfectly welcome to disagree with me, just please do it politely. And with that out of the way, let's jump right in, shall we? 

First Things First: Ben Solo's Death

I think one of the biggest WHY??? moments in the entire movie was Ben Solo's sacrifice and death. I'll say it now - I hated that twist, absolutely hated it. And not just because I'm a huge fan of Reylo, either. 

To start, it's predictable, the exact mirror of the Darth Vader sacrifice/death scene from Return of the Jedi. And while it worked for Darth Vader, doing it again with Ben was not only cliché and repetitive, but also a slap in the face to the character.

Because Ben Solo deserved better. He really, really did.

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was from the start a very conflicted character - the son of two of the galaxy's greatest heroes, and the nephew of the last Jedi, manipulated from birth by Emperor Palpatine. Yes, he did terrible things, but he also had terrible things done to him. At the very least, he deserved the chance to atone for some of those terrible things.

While we're talking about slaps in the face, Ben dying made the deaths of Han, Luke and Leia mean so much less. All three of those people gave their lives so that their son (nephew, in Luke's case) would turn back to the light. Especially Leia - she literally used the last of her energy to reach out to her son and turn him back. Killing Ben off makes her sacrifice almost meaningless - didn't she die so he would be able to live a better life? 

And my last point about the Massive Unfairness of Ben's Death has to do with Rey. She and Ben love each other, don't they? They are literally described as "two of us who are one" - which is about as close as we're going to get to soulmates in Star Wars. With Ben's death, Rey lost half of who she is - not to mention the man she loved.

George Lucas once said, and I quote, that "I have always hated that in movies, when you go along and one of the main characters gets killed. This is a fairytale. You want everybody to live happily ever after and nothing bad happens to anybody."

So yes, maybe it's not the most perfect of arguments, but this is Star Wars. And after all these years of love and admiration, we all deserve that happy ending. 

And While We're At It: Ben Deserved A Proper Redemption Arc

I know I've just spent a long time ranting about why Ben deserved better, but I'm not quite done yet. Because yes, Ben absolutely deserved better - and most of all, he deserved a proper redemption.

Now, I don't know how many of you have seen Avatar The Last Airbender, but that show contains a prime example of a really good redemption arc. It's not simple, and it's not at all easy, but it's worth it.

In ATLA, Fire Prince Zuko starts off as the villain of the series, but ends up seeing that the way he was raised was wrong. He decides to make amends by joining his former enemy, Avatar Aang, and helping him save the world.

But what makes it really good is that it's not easy for Zuko. He struggles, he genuinely does, and he has to really work to earn the trust of the people who used to be his enemies. And time-consuming and difficult as it was, it ultimately ended up being worth it a thousand times over.

That, my friends, is a redemption arc. It takes time, and work, and real atonement. More than anything, I wanted to see that for Ben. I wanted him to struggle, and be distrusted, and hate himself, because that is the only way he can really redeem himself - by rising above all that and saying, "I was wrong, I'm sorry, and I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me, because I really want to change."

Death is taking the easy way out - in fact, it's lazy writing. Ben didn't have to die - his whole story, which is already so defined by struggle and conflict, would have been far more meaningful if he had had a final struggle, this time to prove that he really had changed. 

Unfortunately, the writers chose to take the cliché easy way out, killing off the character instead of giving him a much deeper, more meaningful ending.

If there was one thing - just one thing - I could change about The Rise of Skywalker, it would be that. I would give Ben the chance to properly redeem himself, because he really, truly deserves it.

Moving On: Rose Tico

With the Ben arc out of the way, I can move on to the next biggest issue I had with The Rise of Skywalker - and that's the horrible sidelining of one of my favourite characters from The Last Jedi, Rose Tico.

Now, I get that not everyone liked Rose's character - and that's fine. But there was no reason - none at all - for basically removing Rose, who played quite a significant role in The Last Jedi, from the new movie. Additionally, given all the racist and sexist harassment that Kelly Marie Tran suffered at the hands of malcontent fans, cutting Rose from the film almost seems like caving to those trolls.

And that is not acceptable. If you let a bully have his way, stopping him becomes near impossible. So even if it was just to show the trolls that bullying will not get you what you want, Rose Tico deserved a bigger role.

What bigger role, you may ask? Many people have said, and I grudgingly agree, that there wasn't really space for Rose to go along on the whole wayfinder quest. All right, fine. But sidelining her completely is not the right course of action. If you can't take her along on the main quest, then give her a significant sub-plot, for example joining Lando to call for aid for the Resistance.

Remember, Rose Tico was the person who turned Finn from an ex-stormtrooper more than ready to desert the Resistance into a loyal fighter for the cause he believes in - to such an extent that he was willing to sacrifice his own life for the survival of the Resistance. If there's anyone who could give the galaxy enough hope again to send help to the Resistance, it's Rose Tico.

Oh, and some more Finnrose would have been nice. You don't have to agree with me - I know many of you don't - but you have to admit that Finn and Rose definitely had some sort of a bond forged in The Last Jedi, even if it was just a platonic one. Basically ignoring that like they did in The Rise of Skywalker is just bad writing.

So I'm not saying that Rose needed to be the main star of the show - that would have been unrealistic, after all. But I do think, and I will stand by this opinion no matter what, that Rose deserved a lot better than what she got.

And On That Track: Jannah Was An Unnecessary Character

Don't get me wrong, I love Naomi Ackie, and I appreciate that Star Wars is trying to incorporate a more diverse cast. But despite it all, I just couldn't bring myself to like Jannah's character, or see why she was actually necessary.

See, if you take out Jannah, nothing much changes. Yes, it was nice for Finn to have someone to talk and relate to, but it wasn't necessary. We already know that Finn was a stormtrooper, just like we already know he left it behind him.

Also, Finn already had a female character he had a significant bond to - none other than Rose Tico from my previous rant. Why force in an all-new potential love interest at the last minute when you already have one with far more development? Not only could Rose have conceivably replaced Jannah in pretty much every scene, she also has a lot more development and history with Finn than Jannah does, which would have made their interactions that much more meaningful. 

And as for the attack on Pryde's Destroyer with the Orbaks (and no, I didn't know that's what those cow things were called, either, until I Googled it a few seconds ago) - that was a nice touch, but there's a simple way it could have been much better. Instead of introducing an all-new character and cow things with a name no-one knew unless they looked it up on Wookieepedia, bring back the fathiers from Canto Bight and that little Force-sensitive kid with the broom from The Last Jedi.

At this point, some of you may be wondering why I'm not attacking Zorii Bliss as well - isn't she also a brand-new character with very little real development? The answer to that is yes, she is, but she gives Poe Dameron some much-needed backstory. If you cut Zorii, Poe has no significant backstory, which means that she was actually important to the plot. (Also, Keri Russell is awesome, and has stunning eyes. Enough said.) 

So I'm sorry, Naomi Ackie, but I really wish that Jannah <i>wasn't</i> in The Rise of Skywalker. She's just there for too short to have any real development, and I'd rather use the time I gain from cutting her to focus on Rose and the actual plot.

While I'm Talking About The Plot: What On Earth Happened? Is Star Wars A Video Game, Now?

Ah, yes. Another big issue with The Rise of Skywalker is its rather disappointing lack of actual plot.

I'm sure some of you are frowning quite heavily at me right now, so let me backtrack a little and explain.

Upon first watching, The Rise of Skywalker seems like quite a good movie, really. (Except the ending, of course - but We Do Not Talk About The Ending.) It's only when you re-watch the movie that you realise that there is, in fact, very little really significant plot there.

To put it simply, a large part of the movie is a group of characters going to a Place to find a Thing that will help them find another Thing that will take them to another Place where they will save the world. Does this sound like a video game to anyone?

The thing with this kind of plot is that it works well the first time, when you don't know what's going to happen, and when the lack of plot can be hidden by dramatic explosions and cool fight scenes. Oh, and flying stormtroopers.

This is Star Wars, so there just has to be some explosions, as well as a quest of some kind. I don't deny that. But when said quest and explosions fill the story to such a degree that they become the plot, you're in cinematic trouble.

This is pretty much proven when you re-watch The Rise of Skywalker. Where the heroic quest and explosions and jetpack-sporting stormtroopers had you at the edge of your seat last time, now that you know what's coming, you start to see that very little actually happens in these scenes. Sure, they look cool, but they don't really affect the overall movement of the story in a significant way.

And that's a problem, given that most of the movie consists of scenes like these, or exposition. There are precious few scenes in which two or more characters have meaningful development in a way that will continue to affect them and the plot. This, unfortunately, means that the movie falls flat a bit when you watch it for the second time.

How would I change this?

Well, for starters, I would focus less on the actual hunt for the dagger and the wayfinder and whatever and more on the characters. How do they feel? Why do they feel it? And most importantly, how does this affect what happens to the rest of the characters and the plot?

Also, like I said before, more attention has to be given to a) Ben's redemption and b) an interesting sub-plot for Rose. And you know what? The lightsaber fight scenes could have been a lot cooler, as well.

Some More Complaining About The Plot: This Time, It's Plot Holes

Where to start, where to start. All movies have a plot hole of some kind, it's only natural, but The Rise of Skywalker is simply riddled with them.

Of course, this can be attributed to the lack of plot as explained in the previous rant. Since there is so little time spent actually developing the plot, it just stands to reason that said plot isn't the most watertight.

It's sort of spectacular, though, how quickly the first plot hole pops up. It must be just five minutes into the script - you guessed it, on Exegol.

Not only was the Emperor's resurrection never properly explained, but we also have about a thousand creepy Sith guys who are just suddenly there when needed for plot purposes. Who are they? Where did they come from? How did we not know about them before?

The Rise of Skywalker doesn't even try to answer any of these questions. It just gets glossed over in a classic example of How To Write A Glaring Plot Hole.

And while we're talking about Palpatine, let's take a look at his lackey-in-chief, Allegiant General Pryde, who oh-so-dramatically declares that he serves Palpatine "as I served you in the old wars."

Wait a minute. The old wars? As in the Return of the Jedi wars? Well then why on earth haven't we heard of Pryde before?

Sure, maybe he wasn't a major enough character to show in the original trilogy. But if he was such a faithful servant of Palpatine's, shouldn't he at least have made some kind of cameo in The Last Jedi or The Force Awakens? That would also have been some nice foreshadowing for the Emperor's return. 

Also, when and how did Rey fix Anakin's lightsaber? As I recall, at the end of The Last Jedi, it snapped in half. But when we skip to Rey in The Rise of Skywalker, it's perfectly whole again, with not a hint of explanation on the horizon.

Yes, maybe this isn't the biggest plot hole, but it's annoying. At least just have someone mention in passing "Oh well done Rey, you finished fixing the lightsaber" so it's not quite so out of the blue. 

And there's more. When Rey and Kylo have their big fight on Kef Bir, Rey quite clearly takes Kylo's TIE fighter. Since the Falcon most definitely did not stop by for him, how did Ben get off Kef Bir? 

This is never explained. He just pitches up on Exegol, and immediately starts fighting the Knights of Ren so you forget about wondering how he got there in the first place.

Can I just say the Knights of Ren were a disappointment? I was hoping for a lot more... anything, actually. They did pretty much nothing except look menacing for the entirety of the movie, unless you count getting thoroughly beaten by Ben on Exegol. 

I've probably missed another plot hole or seven, but I think I've had enough for the moment. You can only pull faces for so long, after all. I'm moving on.

  Last Thing: Too Much Fan Service

Picking up from where I left off - bad plot - I'll start by breaking a few hearts and saying that I thought Chewie should have died.

Wait, wait, don't run away screaming "Traitor!" like that! Dead Chewie would have been absolutely heart-breaking, I know, but it would have made for a really good plot point.

Rey thought she killed Chewie, and that quite understandably broke her heart. But then she finds out, oh no, wait, he's actually alive, there was another transport in the desert, ha ha, don't worry, fans. 

While that satisfies fans, looking at it critically, it would have been better to really kill Chewie. Very sad, yes, but better.

Let me explain. If Rey killed Chewie, really killed him, she would have been devastated. Being Rey, she probably would have isolated herself so she wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone else. She would have grieved, and her friends would have had to really work to comfort her and get her to trust herself again. This experience would have left Rey that much sadder and wiser, but stronger because of it.

This can be summed up quite simply: sad moments make the happy moments mean that much more.

But unfortunately for Rey's character development, Chewie is not really dead. The fans might be happy that they didn't lose a beloved character, but what they don't realise is that they lost a significant character progression instead.

And, sadly, this is not the only spot where the movie indulges its fans rather than a deeper plot.

For example, Rey buries Luke and Leia's lightsabers on Tattooine, and we fans get a warm tingly feeling in our stomachs because yay, we've come full circle.

But have we?

Tattooine holds nothing but bad memories for the Skywalker twins - Luke spent his entire life trying to get off the planet, and that homestead holds only bad memories for him. Easy as it is to forget, the last time Luke saw that homestead was when his aunt and uncle had been brutally murdered there. I somehow can't imagine that's where he would want his lightsaber buried - that's the equivalent of burying Harry Potter's wand at Number Four Privet Drive, for crying out loud. 

The same can be said for Leia. Her one experience of Tattooine was the infamous gold bikini scene with Jabba the Hutt - totally the place where she'd want to have her lightsaber, her legacy, buried, hmm?

My conclusion is that the "hopeful and uplifting" Tattooine ending scene is really only that way if you don't think too hard about it. Pure fan service, in other words.

Which is sad, if you consider the ending we could have had. We could have had Rey burying the lightsabers on Naboo, because that's where her grandfather came from, to symbolise that she really was leaving the past behind.

And if you have to be fan service-y, at least do it in the right way. Give Rey and Ben their happy ending, because as George Lucas puts it, having the boy and the girl walk into the sunset hand-in-hand adds ten million to the box office. (And a sunset across Naboo's seas would look very pretty, wouldn't it?)

In Conclusion: TROS Being So Bad Is Actually A Good Thing, Because Now We Get To Fix It The Way We Want

Take a moment to consider that. If The Rise of Skywalker was so bad that we no longer consider it canon, well, that means we can invent our own canon, doesn't it?

This is how I made my peace with The Rise of Skywalker - by accepting that the movie Disney gave us needed some severe changes, and applying them in my head. You won't believe how much better I feel now that I have "my" version of The Rise of Skywalker accepted as canon in my head.

That's my message to you all: if TROS has upset you as much as it did me, don't try to deny it to yourself. Gather a group of good friends around you and have a The Rise of Skywalker fix-it session, and talk it out until you've made the movie into what you want to see.

We are the fans, my friends, and we deserve the movie that we want to see. So get out there and make it for yourselves!

[captainmazzic]

I decided that I could use 10-15% of my tax return on something frivolous and indulgent, so I went down to my local comic book shop and purchased a few Star Wars anthologies. I got Captain Phasma’s comic (quite good), both volumes of Vader’s newest series (excellent), and the Infinities collection.

I was not expecting the Infinities collection to be my absolute favourite out of all of those, but here we are. SPOILERS below the cut, because this comic series is FANTASTIC and I want to highlight my favourite points about it.

Okay so first of all, the Infinities collection is essentially a series of AU stories set in the Original Trilogy timeline. There are four story arcs total, one each dealing with an alternate timeline for each movie, and a fourth one that is simply a comic book adaptation of the original rough draft. Each one is better than the last, but I’mma breeze over the first three just so you can get a taste of this smorgasbord of awesome before I hyperfocus on my favourite one.

So the first story deals with the “what if” storyline of if Luke had missed his shot on the first Death Star. Essentially, it detonates too early on its way down, the rebel fleet is routed, Han and Chewie hightail it out there to save their own skins, Leia gets captured, and Luke goes straight to Dagobah. In this one, we get such treats as Imperial!Leia, Blaster-wielding Imperial!C-3PO, a restored Imperial Senate, Yoda actually getting off his ass and leaving Dagobah to confront... Tarkin?, an Imperial Guard fight scene, and the whole-ass fucking Death Star ramming into goddamned-fucking-Coruscant. It’s a glorious hot mess and once I breezed by Yoda’s typical pontificating, I loved every single panel.

The second story answers what would have happened if Luke had died in the snow on Hoth. Despite the pretty sobering premise, there’s an ongoing humor point of Han thinking HE’S the next chosen one and has to train to be a Jedi, but it’s clearly Leia. Insert hilarious misunderstandings here. Boba Fett shows up unmasked in this one, and because of a single scene I’m not hopelessly shipping him with Lando. In this story, we have things like Jedi!Leia, lots of beautiful shots of Dagobah landscapes, Cloud City falling, Vader interacting directly with Jabba, Vader interacting directly with C-3PO, a trippy inside-Vader’s-head sequence, and the epic conclusion happening in Dagobah’s swamps. Leia is a constant treasure throughout this one, and it makes me sorely disappointed that we never got lightsaber-wielding Leia in the actual movies.

The third story asks what would have happened if Han Solo’s rescue from Jabba the Hutt had failed, and is by far the best of the “what if” stories. In this one, Jabba has an early demise in a massive explosion that takes his entire palace out with him. But Fett still has Solo, so our friends set off on a long chase to hunt him down. In the meantime, Yoda is whining about how magical-Force-fate isn’t doing it right, and Luke should have come back by now to complete his training. He dies mid-whine, the Emperor feels his death, and sends Vader to Dagobah. Luke also feels his death, and also ends up going to Dagobah. The rest of our heroes find Fett, Leia steals Slave I along with Solo-the-still-carbonitecicle, but by the time they thaw him out he’s permanently blind. Meanwhile Luke’s been captured by Vader, we have a ton of father-son angst and attempts at bonding, and Leia tries to go and rescue him. SHE gets captured as well, and they’re both taken before the Emperor on Death Star 2.0. There’s a scuffle, but Vader can’t bring himself to kill his kids. He loses an arm (again) and as the rebel fleet attacks all around, the Emperor disappears into the shadows and Leia insists on taking wounded Vader with them. Luke happily agrees, and they flee the scene. The next time we see our intrepid heroes, they are joined by Vader, still very Vader, but dressed in a white version of his suit. Together they plan on discovering the location of the Emperor and finishing their fight. It’s... honestly glorious. Vader has no major moment-of-regret or tear-filled turn-around, he simply thanks Leia for saving him. He just wants to be with his kids, and if that means he’s helping the rebellion then WELP looks like he’s a rebel now. It’s delightful.

But even as awesome as that story was, my favourite is still “The Star Wars”. It’s adapted directly from the very first rough-draft screenplay by Lucas, and even though it is certainly familiar, it’s definitely NOT the same story. Lightsabers are everywhere, and generic characters have white-blue ones while Important People like the main characters all have red ones. The Galactic Empire is literally just an empire that supplanted a PREVIOUS Empire. The Jedi-Bendu and the Knights of Sith are also very literally just rival warrior clans that have nothing to do with quasi-religious drivel and while they have mysterious powers the only reference we have to the Force is when they stay “May the force of others be with you all”. I just... I LOVE this aspect of this story. It makes it so much more enjoyable.

Luke Skywalker is a grizzled old Jedi who used to be a top general and then war advisor, with little in the way of posh diplomacy, and who is not shy about saying things like “War is by business”. He’s buddies with one Kane Starkiller, whose son Annikin is a teenage-ish Jedi warrior-in-training that Skywalker takes on as his Padawan. Leia is the spoiled and scrappy princess that he ends up having to protect, and while she’s kind of a disappointment in the story many of the other characters are definitely not. C-3PO and R2-D2 are in this one as well, but AJKFLSFHDS HOLY SHIT R2 TALKS, that threw me for a fucking LOOP I’ll tell you. Han Solo is a massive green alien who reminds me a little of a scaly version of Khem Val except Solo is old buddies with Skywalker. Solo gets a red lightsaber too. He big. He hot. Sarc like. 

Anyway. Darth Vader’s in this one, but he has no face-covering helmet and is instead a rather engaging man with one red eye. He’s not a Sith, though. That role goes to one Prince Valorum, who is an unfairly pretty man in black with a breath mask (most of the time).

(apologies for picture quality, I took these with my phone). It didn’t take me long to ship Vader with Valorum, but honestly Val’s got better things to do in this story. Namely, saving Annikin’s ass and breaking him out of interrogation. They even have that little “we’re not so different” moment, but it’s literally just... rather lighthearted banter while they plow their way through stormtroopers and find the princess. They rescue Leia (again) together, and end up... in a garbage masher.

(I clearly have a thing for Valorum he is my favourite in this, okay.) Their banter is adorable, they think they’re about to die, but a clan of massive Wookiees that look like hairy versions of Garrazeb Orrelios show up, the day is saved, big explosions happen, and our suave Sith Prince Valorum is standing right along with our more well-known heroes celebrating Annikin’s new status as Lord Protector.

It’s... it’s so charming. The whole story. It’s deep enough that you can get into the gritty wartime tragedies happening all around, there’s family bonding and humor and decent people confronting shitty-ass people, but it doesn’t get in over its own head and the characters are just... people. On different sides. Doing their best and doing their thing. Sometimes they’re swapping sides when it makes more sense, and there’s zero angst about it. It’s... refreshing, honestly. The romance subplot between Annikin and Leia is really contrived and kind of painful to watch, but it takes up so little of the story it can easily be ignored. It’s beautifully and expressively drawn, moves fast, and is pretty solidly put together. I really like it. I think I’m gonna go read it all again. XD

[galacticnewsnetwork]

26 New ‘Star Wars’ Stories Have Been Revealed

In April, it was announced that a new book would be released called Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View, combining 40 stories written from dozens of writers (including Rogue One screenwriter Gary Whitta, famed comic book writer Paul Dini, Thrilling Adventure Hour creators Ben Acker & Ben Blacker) to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Star Wars franchise.

Each story is told from the perspective of background characters from A New Hope  – “from X-wing pilots who helped Luke destroy the Death Star to the stormtroopers who never quite could find the droids they were looking for.” And with the October release date quickly approaching, Del Rey Publishing has begun unveiling some of the short stories that will be featured in this collection. Below, check out a first look at more than a dozen new Star Wars stories.

Here are the stories that have been revealed on Twitter today, all found under the #FromaCertainPOV hashtag:

Chuck Wendig’s “We Don’t Serve Their Kind Here” tackles a certain droid-hating cantina barkeep: “Wuher always told people: If you have a drink in your hand, you don’t need me for nothing.”

Gary Whitta’s “Raymus” opens the anthology by bridging the gap between Rogue One and A New Hope: “For years he had carefully steered this ship- his ship- through countless Imperial blockades and checkpoints, always able to avoid detection or suspicion. But now it had been spotted fleeing the scene of the most daring military assault in the history of the Rebellion, carrying stolen goods that the Empire would go to any lengths to recover. Suddenly, the Tantive IV was the most wanted ship in the galaxy.” The title is a reference to Raymus Antilles, who was the captain of the Tantive IV.

Greg Rucka’s “Grounded” tells the story of Nera Kase: “In the space of seven minutes, Nera Kase lost her home and her family. In the space of seven minutes, the Empire had made her their enemy.”

Glen Weldon’s “Of MSE-6 And Men” is a story from the POV of a hapless droid caught up in the Death Star’s “gay demimonde”: “That was quick, G7. Fastest mouse droid in the fleet. It’s those new rotors I put in, I’m telling you. You know what: We should get you on a racing circuit. Would you like that?”

Kieron Gillen’s “The Trigger”: “Aphra’s life alternated between finding interesting ancient artifacts and reactivating interesting ancient artifacts, with brief interstitial periods of selling the interesting ancient artifacts.” This story follows the fan favorite Star Wars comic book character Doctor Aphra.

Paul Dini’s “Added Muscle” tells the story of Boba Fett: “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the whispers of surprise when I walked onto the scene. That’s right, boys. Fett’s here.”

Cavan Scott’s “Time of Death” follows Obi-Wan Kenobi in the moments of his passing: “My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I am dead. I know how that sounds. Crazy old Ben with his crazy stories. But this isn’t crazy. This is happening. At least, I think it is.”

Rae Carson’s “The Red One” tells the story of a droid with a bad motivator: “More than anything in the galaxy, he wanted to be sold. Escape the sandcrawler. Fulfill his programming by serving a new master – someone who would clean his joints once in a while, offer a few drops of lubricant, give him a purpose. But time was running out. He was lonely, and he was dying.”

Daniel José Older’s “Born in the Storm” tells the story of a stormtrooper and his dewback: “The barracks are on the outskirts of town, closer to the endless barren infinity of wasteland festering with Sand People, banthas, and a million other ways to die. Also: sand. All the sand. All the sand ever.”

Delilah S. Dawson’s “The Secrets of Long Snoot” tells the story of one of the characters in the Cantina: “Know what your problem is? I say in my own language, quietly and to myself. ‘Your problem is that your entire species thinks itself a sun around which the petty planets and moons spin, but really, you’re just another rock, doomed to ever orbit something grander but remain ignorant of your own insignificance.”

Alexander Freed’s “Contingency Plan” tells the story of Mon Mothma: “Mon Mothma can’t actually see the future. She used to know people who could, but the last of them is dead now, too.”

EK Johnston and Ashley Eckstein’s “By Whatever Sun” takes on the metal ceremony: “Miara Larte breathed in and remembered how much she loved real air.”

Christie Golden’s “The Bucket” tells the story of the stormtrooper who turned Leia in: “I want them alive, Vader had said. Their blasters were set on kill. They were in a batterfield, even now. Too many of the crew were loose and armed, wandering about and opening fire, for the stormtroopers to take chances.”

Adam Christopher’s “End of Watch” is about a reactor leak: “Poul felt the breath catch in her threat. Princess? What princess? And then she heard the voice of the man Tarkin was in conference with, the deep, resonant bass voice echoing down the open comms channel. Well, perhaps man was the wrong word. Because who know what was inside that suit.”

Madeleine Roux’s “Eclipse” tells the story of Breha Organa: “Finances. Galas. Silks. Budgets. Would Leia return in time for the equinox? It seemed unlikely, and yet in a small, private corner of her heart that had nothing to do with rebellions or politics, Breha hoped it would be so.”

John Jackson Miller’s “Rites” tells the story of the Tusken Raiders: “It takes more than courage to lead. It takes eyes that are open!”

Zoraida Córdova’s “You Owe Me A Ride” tells the story of the Tonnika sisters: “Brea and Senni watched the suns set from atop a rock formation. Tatooine might be a desert wasteland lacking in any culinary delicacies, but few things in the galaxy compared to the brilliance of its sunsets.

Charles Soule’s “The Angle” tells the story of Lando and the Millenium Falcon: “Heroes were Lando’s favorite opponents at the gambling table. The worse the odds got, the bigger they bet. Because heroes were suckers.”

Jason Fry’s “Duty Roster” seems to be about someone in the Rebellion named Col (perhaps Legends character Col Serra?): “Col’s first instinct was to knock Wedge Antilles onto the floor and show the whole squadron the joke ended here.”

Griffin McElroy’s “Stories in the Sand” which is about a Jawa named Jot: “There was not a Jawa on Tatooine who did not believe wholeheartedly that there was more sand below them than there was sky above.”

Pablo Hidalgo?’s “Verge of Greatness” follows Tarkin on the very eve of his triumph: “You may fire when ready,’ Targin said at long last. And he allowed himself the briefest of smiles.”

Sabaa Tahir’s “Reirin” reveals new details about the Tusken Raiders: “Reirin daydreamed about proving to them who, exactly, was lesser. She daydreamed about taking her father’s gaderffii and wreaking bloody havoc. And if not that, then simply proving herself.”

Kelly Sue DeConnick?’s “The Kloo Horn Cantina Caper” tells the story of Muftak and Kabe’s adventure at the Mos Eisley Cantina: “At Mos Eisley, everyone has side-hustles, but the Muftak and Kabe? Even their side-hustles have side-hustles.”

Paul S Kemp’s “Sparks” tells the story of Gold Squadron: “Small sparks can start big fires.”

Beth Revis’ “Fully Operational” tells the story of a very important meeting: “A weapon was meant to be fired. Every military man could tell you that. Treat all weapons as charged; never assume a blaster was set simply to stun and not kill.”

Tom Angleberger’s “Whills” is the last story of the book, described as ‘really the beginning of the entire tale. Sort of. It’s a work in progress.’: “May the force be with me as I begin the sacred task of writing in the Journal of the Whills…”

Some of these stories seem to have really clever and compelling ideas. Obi-Wan Kenobi in the moment of his death? The story of the Tantive IV filling the gap between Rogue One and A New Hope? The life of a droid with a bad motivator?

Reading these ideas has me extremely excited to read this collection and makes me wonder if the Star Wars standalone films would ever dare tackle an anthology film. Imagine the greatest writers and directors getting together for a bunch of short films in the Star Wars universe. I could never imagine someone like Steven Spielberg or Quentin Tarantino directing a Star Wars movie, but maybe a five or 15 minute short film could happen? How cool would that be?

You can pre-order From a Certain Point of View (Star Wars) on Amazon now. Del Rey has released the cover art seen above and a list of some of the authors that are participating in this project:

Ben Acker & Ben Blacker

Renee Ahdieh

Tom Angleberger

Meg Cabot

Rae Carson

Adam Christopher

Zoraida Cordova

Delilah S. Dawson

Paul Dini

Alexander Freed

Jason Fry

Christie Golden

EK Johnston & Ashley Eckstein

Paul Kemp

Mur Lafferty

Ken Liu

Griffin McElroy

John Jackson Miller

Nnedi Okorafor

Daniel José Older

Mallory Ortberg

Madeleine Roux

Gary D. Schmidt

Cavan Scott

Sabaa Tahir

Glen Weldon

Chuck Wendig

Gary Whitta

And more!

Source: Slashfilm.com Article by:  Peter Sciretta