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#allen: what π? i can pick you up too if youd like π! wont be a thing!
jrueships
Β·
2 years
Text
diggs is unimpressed by the unusual josh allen show of toxic masculinity
#hes on his princess belle type shit
#oh my God allen read the feminist fucking manifesto ugh
#'the feminine urge to fucking man πΆ?'
#no allen πΎ.
#joshs 'look at me πΆ! look at me!!! π₯°' kindergarten boy core of 'me do strong thing! me strong π!!' nudge
#vs stefs FIST !!!
#boy if you dont STOP!!
#STOP FOOLIN AROUND WITH THE NEIGHBOR NEXT DOOR !! HE IS MCKENZIES MAN!!!!!!
#diggs externally: π... π π‘ ALLEN.
#diggs internally: God I Wish That Was Me.
#allen: what π? i can pick you up too if youd like π! wont be a thing!
#diggs: STFU. NO πΎ. S O M E of us are trying to PRACTICE! for FOOTBALL! not WWE comma A L L E N π‘!
#also diggs under breath: BOTH of us π³? at the SAME TIME π³?
#... i bet he could bridal style no problem... i bet he could do those elaborate stunts in p*rnos and-
#HE WOULDNT NEED NO WALL
#WE'LL JUST KEEP IT AT THAT π€π€
#and then diggs realizes he is thinking this a little Too Loud and somehow since the thoughts are so loud someone somewhere
#will be able to telepathically pick them up and listen in and embarrass him for his maniacal lustings
#so he gets self conscious and turns away with a prissy little 'HMF π€!'
#probably lightly bats josh with an offhand swipe like a cat would to a featherstick
#josh who could easily shatter his hand into more pieces: π aw dang! *gives up* π₯Ί
#verrrry inch resting how josh being captain america x shirtless thor levels of h*rny handsome manness is a diggs aggravator
#but josh telling diggs hes thankful for him as par thanksgiving general niceties makes diggs wanna leap into his arms
#and start mewling
#i knew what diggs was from the Beginning (sl*t trope who is surprisingly won over by softness
#i know youre a c*mboy. i know you are.
#diggs/allen
#allen always feeding his lumberjack fan dreams i love it. i am nourished THANK U
#AND THANK U O CHERISHED MOOT OF MINE 4 THIS IMAGE I LOVE BEING GIVEN THEM!! IT'S ALWAYS SO NICE
#there are no moots like my moots FIND your OWN π‘π€¬!!!
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