#ally just rolled a nat one on kristen's perception check about her spells coming back and i am CONCERNED

[lovecolibri]

I love when Brennan asks someone to make a perception check, they get super low, and he just goes "okay!" and moves on while the players look on in horror. There is nothing scarier than knowing *something* is going on, and not knowing what it is.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 17

Then Perish (in which the Plot is Happening No Matter How Many Nat 20’s you Roll Ally Beardsley)

Strap in my dudes. It’s a wild one. 

Last ep, we’d just entered the forest of the nightmare king and things went sideways pretty quickly. All of the non-familiar NPCs have been poofed away and Kalina is currently fully killing Kristen. Riz, recently cured by Kristen (something that seemed to genuinely distress Kalina), can hear Tracker getting further and further away from them in wolf form. He gives Kristen his flare gun, tells her to run, and looks for the pollen they need to make the Kalina vaccine. Kalina disappears and in comes Sandra-Lynn with a weird mandrake-y plant for Kristen to bite. But, with a nat 20, she realizes that she’s seeing an illusion and Kalina is trying to get her to bite and reinfect Riz.  

All of the Bad Kids try to find each other, using all the tricks at their disposal to move faster (Fly, Jump, Dashing, etc). Fabian gets the Hangman to meet them at the edge of the forest with Gilear. Kristen shoots up the flare (presumably to alert Gilear of her position?) and cures herself as she runs, trying to buy time.  Kalina tries to make a deal with her so she and her friends will destroy the photo of her and their crystals but Kristen is not about that at all. She just tells everyone to run. Once Fig catches up with her, she does her one better and Dimension Doors with her almost all of the way out of the forest (after Fabian hits her with some Heroism which gives her regening temp HP to help combat the constant damage Kalina is doing). This cuts down the rounds needed to escape from 44 to a much more manageable 12. She manages to just get out alive after 24d6 of damage and Kalina is stuck at the edge of the forest with a threatening, “Get you next time.” The rest of the Bad Kids also make it out without too much trouble due to all their speed buffs.  

After everyone takes a tight five to be like, “Welp, that sucked,” they head to the Tinkerer’s Hall to enlist help with making tinctures. Overnight (together with Riz--since Kristen has quarantined herself) they’re able to make six doses of the tincture. Meanwhile, Fig learns more about her bass and Gorgug gets a new Ax from the very grateful tinkerers. Fig’s bass does a lot to help her be effective while she’s being attacked by all sides but--most importantly (imo)--gives her a +5 to performance checks, something I think Brennan is gonna live to regret. Speaking of regret, Fig is beset by whispers of guilt for her “fault” in the disappearance of their friends. Let’s put a pin in that. Gorgug gets a choice between a sick lightning ax and a dope gravity ax. He picks the latter, which, among other things, gives him auto-crits on objects (which seems like a plot tease for sure). While this is going on, Adaine makes two days worth of progress on a spell for Ayda. Kristen, who is being understandably sad in the van, prays to “not knowing” and gets her spells back, clearly (to us at least) missing something as she rolls a Nat 1 perception check. 

The gang cures Kristen with a dose of tincture then they upload the video of Kalina Riz took with his tie cam (which, btw, can scan for good and evil while recording and only pings Celestial magic from Tracker and Kristen, Kalina doesn’t ping as either). To my immediate delight, they post the video (respectfully clipped to not include Tracker) as sort of a fantasy version of The Dress, and it very quickly goes viral as people try to figure out why some people can see the tabaxi in it and some can’t. 

Back to Fig for a bit, Fig realizes the whispers in her head berating her aren’t external. They’re internal. She says she’s better than being loud than quiet and attempts to drown them out rather than ignore them. Fig realizes that, now that she’s out of the forest, Ayda’s feather is glowing again. Using that connection, Adaine tries to Scry on Ayda and sees that she (along with Zathriel) are caught in a horrifying web with web going into all of their face holes. Ayda’s eyes are clear because the fire of her eyes burn out the webs but she's full on weeping. She’s also trying to use the bloody earring Fig gave her to teleport back to her (knew that was gonna come back, at least for flavor) but her restraints won’t allow it. This absolutely lights a fire under Fig’s ass and she is ready to go back into the forest immediately. Before they do, Gorgug gives his Van to the gnomes (since it was bought with KVX money) and Riz makes one of the potions into a tranq dart for Tracker.

The journey to the temple Adaine saw in her Scry is two days away which means a bunch of sleep and navigation checks (without the Van or Tracker there to cast a Moon Haven). They sleep in shifts with Kristen, Fabian, and Fig sleeping first. Kristen rolls and 19 and Fig gets a 17 with Adaine’s Portent. Fabian is the low man with a 10. Even though Fig seemingly made the check, we still get dream narration for her as she is met by a pre-horned, 13 y/o version of herself who berates her. But Fig (who has made the check and can leave the nightare at any time) says she’s so much happier now than she’s ever been and boom! She loses her College of Whispers subclass and becomes a College of Lore Bard (gaining the Cutting Words feature). Whispers banished, she finds she’s able to communicate with Gorthalax who tells her being a devil doesn’t just have to be about being “evil”. At its core, being a devil is about rebellion. It’s about flipping off the universe, something Fig can very much vibe with. 

When Fabian wakes up, not having had a dream, he sees a familiar, tri-cornered hat a little ways away. As soon as he steps away from the group, he is possessed and starts attacking his friends--brutally as per DM’s orders. Luckily, Adaine has a low portent roll to give him, Riz has a net gun, and Gorgug now has a super heavy axe which he simply lays on Fabian, restraining him. They snap Fabian out of it and Adaine can tell it wasn’t an ambient effect of the forest. It’s something that was actively cast on Fabian (the same thing that was cast on Fig when she gem’d Gorthalax). However, it’s probably stronger in the forest. They also realize that when the Baron thing happened, Riz was attacked but not possessed and he also didn’t go to sleep. So, if they go through the forest not sleeping, they’ll be safe from possession at least. The next three are able to sleep without problem (even Riz who rolled a 7) but, in the morning, they don’t do so hot on their navigation checks. Instead of losing time, they decide to push through to the temple.

When they get there, they see that it’s basically surrounded by skeletons, like people just showed up to lay down and die. Something above the entrance has been moved and they also see (from much more recently) three sets of footsteps joined by a fourth set halfway (boots, not talons or paws). Adaine casts Locate Creature on her mom but doesn’t sense her within 1000 ft. Riz takes point and decides to scout the temple and report back. On a Nat 20 for a total of 30 Investigation, he fully cases the joint in less than ten minutes. He sees a brick of Dusk Moss and a bunch of spooky books which he realizes means a ritual happened to take the casters almost further into the forest in some kind of non-euclidean direction. He sees a skeleton of a unicorn filled with webs and egg sacs which died looking at a portrait of a woman in a black robe with black hair but the face is destroyed. 

Riz reports back all of this to his friends and Adaine decides that she’ll shoulder full responsibility for looking at the potentially evil books, trusting her friends to snap her out of it if she gets possessed or something. Equally supportive in their own ways, Fig plays a countercharm for her off to the side and Riz points a gun at her. From reading the book, Adaine is able to piece together a lot about the mechanics of what’s going on. There is a tree in the center of the forest (the broom that was turned into a tree) which helps to boost all the illusions in the forest. Because of this, illusions are all more real. For example, illusory wings created with Disguise Self would actually grant you flight. The Dusk Moss used in the ritual was probably to give them some measure of control over the insane nightmares (as in, “I know this is a dream sorta, therefore I can’t be hurt”). Brennan says Adaine would probably be able to do the ritual with some time and study. Siobhan Galaxy Brains and scours her spell list for spells involving illusions for what she calls, “some fuckery” (“Give me the fuckery,” Brennan says, even the game DM). Adaine wants to use Illusory Script to write a spell that will allow her to do the ritual with the hope that it will become real. Brennan looks directly into the camera like it’s The Office and asks for a DC 30 Arcana check. She doesn’t get it but she does get the sense that the principle behind the idea is solid.  Anyway, back to the other transubstantiations. The Familiar to a Plague is, as we all already knew, Kalina who is controlling the illusions in the forest. The Spellbook is the KVX coin and is (1) aligned with the Enchantment school of magic and (2) responsible for the possessions that have been happening (ie: Fig, Ragh, and Fabian this ep). The Sanctum to Cottage is aligned with the Abjuration school of magic and basically a trap for Celestials coming into the forest and also will prevent certain levels of spellcasting as they get progressively deeper. And now back to the tree (he doesn’t say the school of magic it is and also he says there are four when there are actually 8 so I’m not sure which school it’s supposed to represent--Divination maybe since that’s Adaine’s school?). The forest becomes alive the further in they go. The more safe they feel, the more the paths will move around. The only way to get they can get to the center is by feeling fear and uncertainty--which has got to be simultaneously great and terrible news for someone with major anxiety to get. 

All of that is all going on in the main chamber. Meanwhile, Gorgug is in the hallway and Fabian is in the chapel with Kristen who is checking out the picture of the goddess. Kristen, on international DM’s day, rolls a nat 20 religion check because of course she does. She hears the goddesses’s voice in her head. “Why do you search for me?” Kristen says she’s really into the praise through doubt thing. Brennan makes her roll a Con check with disadvantage--13.  

He says, “I’m gonna describe what Kristen sees and then I’m going to describe what Fabian saw,” instantly activating my Fight or Flight. 

Kristen feels a wave of spite, rage, and betrayal from the goddess and then she feels blinding pain as the unicorn skeleton runs over and gores her through the heart from the back. 

“What praise will you have in death?” the voice in her head says, as she collapses, fully lifeless. 

The unicorn turns to a panicked Fabian (who is only not driven mad by his immunity to Fear) and says, “You should not have come here.” 

In conclusion, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Detention

Brennan for Killing Kristen on a Nat 20

Using a Nat 20 to kill a player is such a power move and please do not let this placement make you think I don’t respect the unmitigated gall. 

Honor Roll

Adaine for An Incredible Piece of Fuckery

The fact that it didn’t work doesn’t change the fact that this was a Galaxy Brain connection that she made instantly and will almost certainly end up saving their asses. Mark my words: Before the end of the season, some Looney Tunes-ass painting a black circle to make a real hole type nonsense is gonna happen.

Random Thoughts

Emily’s constant awe at Ally’s dice rolls is so funny to me. She’s like head parishioner at the church of Ally’s dice. 

“Don’t bite the baby your mom gives you.”

Adaine taking pics of Fabian on Gorgug’s back while running out of the forest.

The teamwork shown during Kristen’s rescue? *chef’s kiss*

“It doesn’t protect you from losing all your friends in a forest.” Ow. 

Emily going, “Thank you Brennan,” like a little kid when she got her new bass’s stats.

“All of our girlfriends are in there!”

Brennan, upon being denied a wisdom save from Emily: You have to! I asked. 

Ice feast?????? Ally, what????

There is very much a world where the Bad Kids immediately leveraged Fig’s social media presence to get a better sample size on what was going on with Kalina. I wonder what would have happened if they’d gone viral with it much earlier.  

Ayda was drawn to the cottage with Zathriel because she’s part Celestial apparently. Are Phoenixes Celestial? That’s news to me. 

Also, on the topic, very Concerned about where the remaining NPCs are. 

The fact that Ayda had Fig’s earring in her hand while bound and unable to move much or do a spell that would allow her to get it into her hand implies that her split second reaction when captured was to reach for it and that was the one thing she could do before she was incapacitated which is A Lot.

Kristen keeps asking Riz to hold the tranq gun because she wants to look out for Tracker, which is sweet but you have -3 Dex girl. The kindest thing you can do is never touch that gun and toss Riz some Bless. 

The break they took between leaving the forest and going back Concerned me as it was happening. I was like, y’all literally anything could be happening right now. I had no sense on the amount of tie they realistically had to spare before something unreversable happened. 

Lol at Brennan clearly trying to throw some levels of exhaustion at the party and them just rolling out of it, no problem.  

I feel like Brennan knew Kristen was dying this episode no matter what and I gotta say: (1) I think it’s a great skill as a DM to keep our story on the tracks while also having the players actions matter and have meaningful consequences and (2) I wonder if she hadn’t gotten a Nat 1 when she got her spells back, if we’d get some information that could potentially contextualize what happened. 

I do not remember what the unicorn’s deal is but I remember it was mentioned specifically at the top of the season and I don’t trust anything about it--separately from the fact that it gored our girl. Was it speaking independently or was the goddess speaking through it? Or was it just the unicorn the whole time and Brennan was lying--not for the first time that episode? 

Fig being asked by her younger nightmare self what all the people in her life who had bad stuff happen to them have in common: Aguefort Advenuring Academy?

The image of an angel falling out of heaven and then rising up to flip off God and go, “F You,” is so cinematic that it makes me upset there aren’t animatics for this show. 

I am dying to know whether Brennan thought about the implications of making a setting where illusions are hyper-real in a game where Emily Axford is lousy with illusion magic. Did he consider it? Is there a mechanic to limit this? Or, next week, is Emily gonna say, “I cast disguise self on myself and I disguise myself as a super buff version of me with sick devil wings and I also create a minor illusion of a tiny, fairy, cleric.” What could stop her? Minor Illusion is a cantrip, guys. It’s a CANTRIP. I feel like either Brennan wildly miscalculated and made himself a double edged sword which Emily and Siobhan are gonna use to make him eat his dice OR he’s about to throw some absolutely unfair nonsense at them that even he doesn’t know the way out of and he’s trusting them to harness the power of the fuckery to figure it out. Either way, there are only 3 episodes left so I guess there’s only so much they can break the game in 3 episodes (she said, fully expecting to be proved wrong). 

“Crunch it up bro.”

When Brennan was talking about the ritual, he said, “Your parents and stuff” with regard to who did it, which makes me think Anguin was the fourth figure. But the “and stuff” is vague hedging language which makes me think we’re still being played. Brennan, tell me what’s going on in Abernant-Land, I’m begging you bro. 

One thing I didn’t mention in the main recap because it was getting long is the 4 transubstantiations were done on 4 gifts from the 4 tribes who worshiped the goddess The cat was from the wood elves. The sanctum was holy to the centaurs. I think the sprite was the spellbook which would make the broom from the treents.

Partial credit to @camwritery for this: Brennan gave Gorgug a weapon that, among other effects, insta-crits on inanimate objects. Which is a random ability unless a future plot point involves destroying some items--a la the pylons they destroyed earlier in what feels like a tutorial level in retrospect. And camwritery is the one who pointed out, hey, isn’t there a super important tree in the middle of the forest? Magic axe? Magic tree? Feels connected y’all. 

Everyone getting new gear and spells the past two eps has felt like that scene in Lion/Witch/Wardrobe where Santa shows up and is like, “Here are some weapons kids. Shit’s about to hit the fan!”

The fact that Riz escaped possession on a 7 seems to be explained by the fact that the cursed money is linked to possession and he gave all of his away. Which means Fabian and Adaine are still in danger, along with I think Fig since she kept her tour money which is likely infected. 

Anyone else get Wrinkle in Time/The Boy Who Reversed Himself vibes from all the dream travel talk this ep?

OK, I guess we gotta talk about Kristen dying for the third time in her life. Poor girl. She’s just trying her best to be a good person and earnestly trying to find meaning in the world. And what has it gotten her? Killed three times. And yet she keeps trying! The fact that it’s her makes me kinda more and less worried at the same time, you know? Because she is currently the sole healer on the team which is BAD--if Fabian went down, it wouldn’t be as big of a deal because Kristen would presumably just need to make her fright check and then cast Revivify. K-girl doesn’t have anyone to heal her (barring some illusion shenanigans from Fig or Adaine). However, Kristen’s motto might as well, “Whatever does kill you makes you stronger.” She basically has an at least 1 death per season clause written into her contract. If anyone can face death with grit and come out singing (and prob with some sick new powers) it’d be her. What an absolutely brutal way to end the episode.

She was mentioned in this episode for a hot sec I think--that racist ranger from earlier in the season--I don’t trust her. She could just be a one off NPC but I feel like there’s more to her. 

So I guessed correctly that the photos of Kalina would end up being a bargain chip potentially but somehow it didn’t occur to me that they could just...leave. Lol, I was like, “I guess they’re in it,” and they were like, “Yeah, bye.”

Kalina didn’t come after the gang in the forest the second time except maybe to possess Fabian if she did that directly. I wonder why that was. She had plenty of time.

I don’t like this spider motif. I don’t trust this spider motif. My spidey sense is going off re: this spider motif. I just want that on the record. 

This episode, Adaine rolled 1 Nat 20, Riz got 2, and Kristen rolled 3 but one was cancelled out by disadvantage. Meanwhile, Fig, Kristen, and Gorgug each rolled one Nat 20 each. 

[jq37]

sooo.... what’s the tea on the new ep? :)

**spoilers for family in flames**

I have so much to say I’m not drafting this on tumblr lest it crash and I lose a soul-crushing amount of yelling into the void.

And, I gotta say, THIS episode is the reason I haven’t posted my adult rankings list yet. THIS RIGHT HERE. I KNEW some crap was gonna go down and force me to make some HUGE adjustments.

Also, We are feeling vindicated in this house today! But let’s start from the top and work our way down.

“Raise your hands if you really care about your parents.”

Fabian having to be like, “Look, your parents suck but don’t you have siblings?” (Kristen: Ugh, I guess)

Adaine pointing out that she cares about Gorgug’s parents.

Brennan listening to them argue about what to do like he doesn’t know they’re about to be arrested for a whole ass MONTH.

Fig wanting to method act while texting the phone, pretending to be scared.

So is the arcade owner (Frank Dunford) relevant? Brennan had the name on hand. But maybe it was just him being a good worldbuilder and anticipating the question. I feel like it’s probably that because this is late in the game to be introducing new people who are super relevant.

“Gilear’s got a little knife”

I KNEW those arcade prizes were gonna be gear they could pick up! ALWAYS RAID THE ROOM. Some of that stuff might have helped in the fight. I loved the group silently reading the cards and exchanging them to whoever they thought it would help most in the background as Brennan did the ID spell.

“This has been, if I may say so, the *best* use of the identify spell.”

I love that Adaine thanks everyone, including her inanimate spells. She’s just a good person.

OK so this episode addressed a LOT of questions I had about how these literal children were getting away with all of these murders and such. Apparently, the adventuring academy kids traditionally just get away with this stuff because of Arthur’s influence and the nature of adventurers.

Adaine coming in hot with the diplomatic immunity and then remembering, oh wait, we’re at war w/ Falinel.

Fig immediately starting smoking when she gets arrested.

I love the federal agent outsider with perspective coming in and being rightfully horrified by the absolute nonsense that’s been going on the past 15 episodes.

Is Riz’s mom the only competent cop at this station? Is there a one competent adult per location rule?

Bill Seacaster Upon Learning the Bad Kids are In Jail: Did you try to escape?

“How are things going?”/“I mean bad. I’m in jail.”

Fig upon offhandedly and indirectly being called a vigilante by Sklonda: Thank you.

Emily loses it whenever anything happens in Gilear’s orbit.

Wild that Adaine decided to spontaneously call Goldenhoard considering what happened later. Like, it wasn’t a completely out of nowhere decision and it was totally logical but they could have easily overlooked that decision. 

Like, I know things happen later that make this kinda moot but I loved Goldenhoard’s conversation with Adaine in jail. “Don’t to talk to anyone without a lawyer and kill anyone you have to to get out. The school will pay for the rezzes.”/“That’s exactly what our plan was. God, I love this school.”

Although, sidenote, I feel like you can only easily rez someone within a minute? Like, I know there are other D&D spells that let you do it after a longer period of time but with the whole phoenix egg thing and the fact that they haven’t come up so far, I feel like Brennan isn’t using the in this setting for stakes reasons.

Man that whole conversation with Fig and her mom. Emily plays Fig so balls to the wall that I kinda forget sometimes that she’s actually an intelligent adult woman who knows what she’s doing with the character so I really shouldn’t be surprised with how well she stuck the emotional beats of this episode.

Gorthalax man! TyraWeWereAllRootingForYou.gif If he left, like, actually left and isn’t just held up somehow, then that’s gonna be really not great for Fig’s general psyche. 

Kristen COMPLETELY undercutting the moment by point blank asking if they had sex.

No wonder Sandra-Lynn was so worried about Fig. She was totally Fig growing up. Which, lol, she’s not even half tiefling. She was just *like that*

Oh so Gilear has always been super lame. Good to know.

Fig: I think I have mommy issues./The Rest of the Party: You have all the issues.

Fabian: You’re trying to hook up with a 25 year old adult./Fig: What do you mean trying?I’m successfully kissing him once every couple weeks. (Which, lol but also I’m glad that’s as far as it got…you know if it has to go any amount forward).

They just let Bill into the cell?????

Lou when Zac rolls a 1 for perception on Bill Secaster and he knows what’s coming: Don’t fucking do this. (Everyone else: Already trying not to lose it)

Zac’s Gorgug being contemplative and also completely wrong face is so funny to me every time.

“Why would you kill me?”/“Why would you know that?”

Who is more insane? Gorgug for suggesting him and Fabian could be twins (aren’t they different ages????) or Bill for thinking he’s so awesome he could somehow do that?

Kristen trying to help FIg distract Bill by blurting out, “Have you ever had sex?” After the conversation where he said point blank he’s slept with 100s of orc women. 

Fabian yelling at his dad is kinda undercut by continuing to call him papa in the most poncy accent.

I don’t think I’ve articulated this properly before but this episode really drove it home: Fabian and Bill have a *close* relationship but not an entirely healthy one. Like, better than Adaine and her parents by leaps and bounds but he wrestled his son in a jail cell while his friends just watched. Like, who does that?

Imagine if Riz had tried to get between Bill and Fabian. 

Also imagine being the rest of the party just sitting there, watching that go down.

“We’ve spent so much of our lives obsessed with our dads and we’ve completely ignored our moms.”/“You’re just again talking about yourself.”

I can’t believe Fig’s suggestion spell would have worked if head boss in charge fed lady hadn’t been there. Speaking of her, as soon as she showed up I knew they weren’t going to be able to shenanigan their way out of this one (which is literally the word Emily used, hilariously). I don’t think even a nat 20 would have gotten them very far. Remember last week when I said that I was sure there was going to be a prom finale but I was also pretty sure there was still a good chunk of time before prom? As soon as they got arrested and the feds showed up I was like, “Oh they are not getting out until prom for sure.”

Siobhan trying not to laugh while Emily tries a ridiculous plan that might have worked in a different episode honestly.

Ally trying to Pirates of the Carribean her way out of the jail cell.

The cops didn’t even take their stuff in a month!

“I’m glad this is in my head and no one else can hear things like this.”

I love how Fabian rolls his eyes at Adaine for thanking her spells but he always thanks the Hangman.

Realistically the Hangman would have told Fabian the plan before it happened but the way it played out was soooo good.

The return of Mr. Cubby!!!! I was hoping it would be him but man! It was still so awesome to see happen. I wonder if Brennan introduced that family specifically in case the group ever needed to be busted out of jail (a likely need).

“Laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic ethnic group of a given nation.”

“You guys wanna make some bacon?”

“That was on fire the whole time? You’re so brave!” Adaine likes adults who aren’t her parents so much.

Riz being like uhhhhh my mom works here.

“To the AV club!”/“It’s been months!”

OK so they took a palimpsest from Bill in this episode. That was there to tip them off that he’s up to something I’m sure, but I feel like that could also turn out to be a Chekov’s gun for next ep. I’m sure the ability to trap someone’s should would be useful in the finale.

S/O to Brennan for his excellent foreshadowing throughout the episode and honestly the whole series.

Siobhan thinking to check the trash folder of his computer was a good move, even if it didn’t end up being the right one.

OK, strap in guys. This is where things get WILD.

Siobhan’s “Oh shit!” when she got halfway down the page of Watches and Wards and then that Harry Potter sounding sting in the background.

(Before I get any further, I love that Adaine’s first thought was well that means my sister isn’t Kal Vaxis because she thinks her sister is the root of all evil).

But WOW. After all the trash talking of the old oracle, it turns out Adaine is the new eleven oracle! And she has been since EPISODE ONE. I almost thought she was gonna be *that* elven oracle because of the questions the cast was asking but nope. It is, as Zac and Siobhan put it, a The Santa Clause situation where the last one dies and someone else gets the job.

Brennan’s faint amusement as they work through that is so good.

You know what’s kinda hilarious in hindsight about that? I said before that, so far, every person Adaine has pegged as trash has ended up being trash of the highest order and an enemy of the party and of course she’s been good at predicting things! She’s the literal oracle.

Am I reading this wrong or is the Religious Studies teacher name Yolanda Badgood?

Also the sheet says “Lunchlad (Official Title)” RIP dude.

Emily low key thinking this is going to be about pay disparity between the races.

Will putting the book back retroactively get rid of anything bad currently cast in school?

Brennan going, “Nothing happens.”/“You see an upside down waste paper basket.” Is such a GM mood. I had a session once where I spent half an hour just saying, “You’re looking at the door,” in various ways.

No one knows what Goldenhoard’s name actually is and it’s the second to last episode.

I feel like Brennan must have gotten forehead/cheek kissed a lot as a child because he’s constantly having NPCs do it. 

Are elves in this setting actually immortal (barring being actually killed) or just long lived? Because Adaine talks like she’s immortal but I wasn’t sure. Anyway, newsflash Adaine. You’ve been mortal this whole campaign! Because apparently, the elven oracle always eventually dies. 

I love that Adaine finally confronted the oracle about sinking on a ship and actually ended up kinda sympathizing with her. I can’t believe this is how that running joke ends.

Fabian at the ghost of the past eleven oracle who’s imparting wisdom on Adaine: Who are you?

Ally: Can I do something weird? (Dude, when do you not?)

Ally mumbling through an inspiring spell as Murph clues in to the paperwork discrepancy that blows the plot twist wide open. And then miming the whole thing in the background as the scene goes on.

“He was mean so I thought that meant he was a good guy.” More stern than mean really but yeah! Same Murph!

You know how you know things are about to get real? When the DM starts letting you do stuff like bust down doors without even rolling for it because there are bigger fish to fry.

The 69 glyphs of binding. Nice.

But in seriousness, Kal Vaxis (apparently it’s spelled Kalvaxus but I can’t be bothered to change that in this post) was apparently trapped by Arthur and bound to work at Aguefort (as Goldenhoard) because…he’s a wildcard I guess. Sidenote, can you imagine what this season might have looked like if Arthur hadn’t died? Or was that always the plan for him to die in some way? Like to resurrect an NPC maybe if the crew hadn’t lost 2 party members.

Man when he said last ep that the girls were going back to school I thought OK that makes sense because it’s the AV computer that Biz used or maybe it’s Penelope. But I totally overlooked teachers.

OK so the binding spell specifically says “as long as I live” and Arthur is dead. So….what does that mean exactly? And this plan seems to have been in motion from before Arthur died. What does that mean? Also, if that wording means he’s freed when Arthur dies, what was Arthur thinking killing himself???? Did he need Kristen to sneak him into heaven so he could talk to Sol and do some scheming or something? AHHHHH I have so many questions.

Also in the binding is a clause about tea. Now, first of all, Arthur, bro. Come on. Second of all, a lawyer really should have looked at that. “I will drink anything you give me”? I work at a law firm. I’m a lowly first year but even I know that’s a terrible thing to put in a contract. I’m sure y'all non lawyers know that too!

Karam-Kajam (the binding spell words) kinda looks like “magic maker” backwards. That doesn’t mean anything. I just wanted y'all to know I was freeze framing every thing that might be a clue.

OK ok ok, so I’ve been saying for a while now (in posts but mainly over chat) that all this bad stuff must be like connected to a central person in service of a central goal but the players were probably all unconnected wild cards acting in self interest. The one thing I couldn’t quite put together was what because these plots have been mainly unconnected. But now, we have it! All the weird things starting a war (by manipulating the harvestmen), getting 7 maidens (by manipulating Biz), and reinstating prom king/queen (by manipulating (?) Penelope and Dayne, also yes! my wild card guess was that prom king/queen was going to be part of a spell or curse or something. Guess it was prophecy but yes! vindication!) are parts of a prophecy on how to bring back Kalvaxis! (Along with him getting his “glittering treasure”?)

But yeah! No wonder it was so hard to put the pieces together! They all connected but only through a prophecy. Good job Bren!

“The sun shall fall from the heavens” is part of the prophecy which makes me think Sol or Helios might be involved in this somehow.

Ally: There are definitely going to be 7 virgins at prom. (That deserved a rim shot).

Good on Murph for making sure none of them were on the virgin list bc that would have been a pain in the ass to find out mid-fight. Also, I KNEW “Where are their bodies” was the question to ask last ep when Biz said they were going back to their bodies.

“Who told you that? An oracle?”

I hope Adaine just uses her oracle status to make sick one liners like, “I predict this is gonna hurt,” before she witchbolts someone. She never does her actual job. 

Adaine who hates her family, righteously indignant: Between our houses and the world, you expect us to choose our houses?

The rest of the group who loves their family: BYEEEEE.

Well, no. Kristen also had reservations before she remembered her brothers existed.

Adaine texting her mom: You should probably leave.

Siobahn and Ally fistbumping over their mutual not caring about their parents.

OK so what’s up with the rat? What’s so important about the rat? And what’s up with Zayne? We still haven’t figured out what’s up with him.

Still not clear on if the crystals trap your physical body or just your spirit and leave your physical body dormant irl.

So that’s how they got rid of the adults for the fight. Nice job again Brennan.

As far as I can tell, Brennan made up this usage of the word palimpsest and I’d never heard of the word before and now I type it so much. Wild.

“I’m calling an Uber. You use the minute to go look at as much shit as you can. Jump in the Uber with me, come to my house. Look Rudolpho will be here in two minutes in a Honda Civic. Use one of those minutes. Go.”

A Knight to Remember. 

They freaking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to Kristen’s house.

I love how Uber Drivers in this world are still gunning for 5 stars.

OK, time for the most stressful 30 minutes of Fantasy High (so far).

I think the wagering mechanic Brennan used for the fights was brilliant. For each conflict a d20 was rolled. 1-6=epic fail. 7-14=bad but not awful. 15-20=favorable outcome. The twist was that if the person chose to help their family they could give up half their HP and 14 spell levels and he would roll with advantage.

Everyone quickly took that deal except Adaine who truly does not give a damn about her family (and also, reasonably, thought that they wouldn’t even be at home. Idk why they apparently were tbh).

When Emily said, “She’s a complex person and she’s allowed to be,” that was the moment I was like, “Oh yeah. She’s not actually Fig. IRL she knows what’s happening.”

Siobhan uses her divination roll of 18 to save Kristen’s family without having to risk anything but the Ally turns around and decides to take the deal to try and save Adaine’s family WHEN ADAINE DOESN’T EVEN CARE. But it makes sense that Kristen would.

Lou’s monolog as Brennan rolls about how nerve wracking and terrible it is to have no idea what’s going on.

“This is the worst thing I’ve been a part of.”

“I was wondering why my mom visited me and humanized herself and this is exactly why.”

Lou/Fabian: What if my fucking family dies? (F O R E S H A D O W I N G, albeit unknowingly)

Brennan (sagely): It couldn’t have been any other way./Siobhan: It could’ve been!

lol at Adaine trying to trigger that ice cream later wish at their darkest moment (so far). Also, not that I think Brennan ever forgot about it but now I’m for sure it’s gonna come up next ep bc if nothing else that would have reminded him.

OK first up, Fig and her mom.

“Dang they’re already organized with costumes?”

That was so boss, her mom getting revived and then IMMEDIATELY shooting two guys w/ her bow.

Emily LEGIT crying through that scene. The whole room was on an emotional tightrope. You can tell.

Where in the mountains Sandra-Lynn!? I want specifics Sandra-Lynn!!

I love the idea of her jumping out of a window onto a dope griffin’s back. Fig’s mom just bought herself a bunch of spots on my grown-up rankings list.

Ally: THAT WAS NUMBER ONE

Me: SAME.

Next Riz at Strongtower

I knew Sklonda was going to be in the secret room!

I love that apparently Riz can recognize his mom’s gun by hearing it.

I know it was in the promo but Riz’s mom being like, “I was so scared you were gonna ask me to prom” was hysterical.

You just know Sklonda and Agent Angela have been fighting like cats and dogs this past month.

Riz and his mom high fiving. They have the best relationship.

Gorgug and the Thistlesprings

lol, looks like his parents had the easiest time wrecking their intruders.

But based on how it was described as compared to everyone else (bar Fabian–we’re getting there), it sounds like he got pretty dang hurt.

And I guess they have a tank (which they usually use to mow the lawn) and a bomb chest? Wild.

Anyway, if anything had happened to them insert Rosa B99 meme.

“You come to the tree, you better be ready to never fucking leave, you understand?” So boss. (Also, is that a pun?)

Gorgug’s parents launched a satellite while Gorgug was in jail.

Kristen and co.

Kristen’s dad (who is the worst): You think these guys were illegals, what?

Kristen: I’m gonna take the car, byeeee.

Kristen and Adaine bonding over their terrible parents.

I’m Concerned about Kristen’s brothers.

Abernants

They poofed out. Idk why they were still there to begin with.

So the damage they took was supposed to represent the danger the took in their respective fights. Kristen got Adaine’s divination roll meaning her family was fine either way but she did take damage for Adaine’s family. But the fight was already over by the time they got there. So, in story, any injuries sustained must have been from the fight at her house, even though that wasn’t technically the deal.

Anyway, Adaine doesn’t care about her family so let’s not waste any time moving onto

Seacaster manor

Geez

OK, you guys. Let me tell you my buildup to the realization that Bill had to die.

In the first set of episodes, when tone was established, I said to myself, a parent is going to die. I don’t know who, but someone will.

Then, Bill gave them a training montage and I thought, curse of the mentor. He’s going to die. Besides, he’s one of the biggest parental figures and he’s larger than life–perfect for a fall.

Then Sklonda took down the Harvestmen and I briefly shifted my worry to her.

But then Fabian started clashing with Bill. And I remembered all the constant talk of his mortality.

And then, this ep, Brennan made him choose between his mom and dad and I was pretty sure. (sidenote: Fabian yelling at his mom the same ep Adaine said he has a great relationship with his mom. But, like, compared to her, maybe. Also, mean Brennan.)

And then Fabian lost an eye (with a description that still makes me wince) and I KNEW. Once he lost his eye, there was no way Bill could leave the fight alive, thematically.

Honestly, it was a wrap when Fabian played the video from his dad. I was worried he’d die before he got there. 

(It was a low blow, and I credit you that.)

Why were there Harvestmen attacking Fabian’s house and no one elses?

Fabian’s mom just drinking while the house is being raided.

I was so sure the tuxed Harvestman who attacked Fabian was going to turn out to somehow be Daybreak or something. Anyway, it has to come up again. There’s no reason for that level of detail otherwise. And tux sounds like prom attire.

Lou rolls a nat 1 and then rerolls it because he has the lucky trait. What’s funny is just started listening to NADNDPod and Murph (who reminded Lou about the lucky thing) disallowed one of his players from rerolling a nat 1 even w/ the lucky in the last ep I listened to. I don’t remember if the circumstances were different though.

Bill handcuffing himself up to keep fighting. Yikes.

Anyway, ugh that whole death scene. I would write more but this is closing in on 4k words and I’ve been working on this for hours. I just wanna say, that was a perfect way to go out for him. Killing 60 people and then getting stabbed by his son and exploding. So baller (as was Fabian jumping out the window onto his bike and catching Bill’s sword. He has so many cool swords now).

It’s a crime no one does animatics for this show.

We also got a piece of the puzzle. Bill was the one supplying the palimpsests (or at least one of the ones. who was doing it before?) not for an evil reason. Just a chaotic neutral reason of wanting to recapture the glory days. So now we know that.

I mentioned this before but…Fabian is Thor.

“I SHALL LEAP INTO HELL AND KILL THE DEVIL HIMSELF” and Bill Seacaster is dril apparently.

I love Fabian destroying the nice thing Bill said about him to preserve his legacy.

Ally: HE COULD HAVE SURVIVED.

I appreciate so much that Lou knew his character so well that without any hesitation he stabbed Bill and that was the right choice.

Whew, that was a lot.

Also, not that I don’t trust Brennan but it’s wild that Bill, the most thematically appropriate parent to die, was the only one who failed his roll apparently. 

Aww at Zelda’s message to Gorgug. She made him a playlist! So 80’s high school. It gives him a bonus! Also I really wanna know what’s on the list. Like, is it all fantasy rock puns or actual songs? Yay for Brennan giving them cool items for good RPing. 

Live band. Nice.

Emily and Zac both rolled 20’s for initiative for next week’s fight. Hopefully that’s a good omen. We have no way of knowing because THERE’S NO PROMO FOR NEXT WEEK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This isn’t edited. This is more than 4000 words. This is so long my computer is about to die. Thank you and goodnight. 

[jq37]

Ok last one. What's the tea on Prompocalypse?

So...that was something, huh?

This is gonna be quick and dirty (relatively speaking, it’s still too long already as I come back and make this edit) because I have work tomorrow and there are def stuff I want to talk about more and I will (esp if I get asks) but I have work in the morning so let’s just get some words onto the screen aight.

The episode titles have had a pretty consistent naming scheme up until this point so the one word, non alliterative title had me at a 7 on the foreboding scale before we even started.

Everyone was in prom wear! And lol, Siobhan is the only one in a dress. That's almost exactly what I pictured Adaine wearing to prom. That exact shade of blue-green. And Emily looks like a waiter. 

I wonder what Bren's plan was for if they'd thwarted the crowning entirely. Got baller initiative, some nat 20's on crown keepaway and smashing, and killed Penelope/Dayne before the bad guys could finish them. Would he just try to crown someone else or would the curb stompage have stood? Not that Goldenhoard would have been a pushover I imagine but jeez. He couldn't have been as strong as his true form.

Sidenote: One of my favorite little character things is Zac and Siobhan helping each other do math.

Fig dimension dooring Gorgug to the stage and then skateboarding away. Amazing.

"I'm going for her crown vs. his crown."/"In this climate?"

OK, shoutout to Zac fo asking for those bombs because they are OP as hell. 

I love how they just charged in and started trying to kill people, no questions asked, no explaining themselves to the other students, just bombs out immediately. 

My man Riz just couldn't catch a break. I understand the out of story reason the police haven't shown up is that Murph was rolling garbage, but what's taking them so long in story? Where? Is? Sklonda?

"I'm going to jump on the back of the Hangman."/”Presumptuous."

But also, by the end of the fight he's just like, "Do anything any party member tells you to!"

Lou losing it over Riz claiming best friend status. But damn, they kinda are the closest to each other in the party. Wild. 

"You know what baby girl? Why don't you ready an action until I get there," said Siobahn to Ally, hilariously for a number of reasons. 

They keep saying Teen Wolf and I have no idea what part of the movie they're referring to. This is the second ep in a row.

Lou trying to recruit a super sad Ragh.

They started off this fight really strong. Doing double digit damage and rolling over 20s. I was like, "Damn, they've leveled up. They're doing great!" Of course, we were still in the first third of the ep so I didn't know where we were going. But Lou was right. "Wild first turn."

"And then I shoot him."

I'm half convinced Riz jinxed everyone by saying, "Remember the corn fight?"

Kristen cast ONE spell and then said, "I don't have a lot of spells left." THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND SAVE ADAINE'S WORTHLESS FAMILY. YOU ARE THE HEALER. YOU NEED ALL YOUR SPELLS.

The students running to get food on the way out. Mood.

They messed Dayne *up*. This was the high point of the battle, objective-wise.

Sidenote, why would Dayne have needed to be at the Seacaster Manor raid? It feels dumb to ris him when he was such an important part of things. Was it literally just because he didn't like Fabian? And he disliked him enough to try and kill his parents? Yeesh.

Kirsten @ Ragh flipping out over Dayne: I see what's going on here.

Ragh really made this fight harder than it had to be. If Gorgug hadn't been grappled before Penelope got the crown they might have had a fighting chance.

So Penelope just straight up let what's her face (Sam I think) get palimpsested? Major yikes. Like I know it's a good thing they killed her but I kinda wish they hadn't so we could learn exactly what the insane thought process was there. She comes off as crazier than Biz because Biz was trapping girls he didn't respect, not his actual friends, you know? Like, did Goldenhoard say he was gonna make her an actual queen or something? Because all this isn't worth just being prom queen.

"Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds," said Brennan, as if he didn't know what he was about to unleash on the party. Geez, I don't know how long they would have survived if Penelope and Dayne had been in play for a large chunk of the fight.

Murph's idea to blind him was a good one.

I almost was like, "Thank God Gorthalax got kidnapped," because that was the only good explanation for him seemingly ditching Fig.

Ally: Was that his best friend? (Emily: What./Siobahn: NO.)

"I'm like an advertisement for chicken."/"What chicken adverts are you watching?"/"It's like if you went to prom and there was a dangling chicken leg."/"What prom did you go to?"

Fabian full on clocking Penelope in the face like he's playing Punch Out.

"I killed my father today. Yes."

"This is against the rules but I don't care." In hindsight, this feels like foreshadowing.

"Well, that's the risk you take when you go to Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

"Get on the fucking right team!"

Lou (a la Gimli): And *my* D6.

Brennan pulling out that GIANT final form Goldenhoard figure.

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that he'd be just a legit dragon in his true form. I was picturing like the lich from Adventure Time or something.

Also, I was kinda expecting him to "Drop the act," and majorly change in personality but he was basically the same. Just a dick.

Gorgug rolls a 4. Brennan pauses for a second. The entire party: No.

Zac goes all in every time no matter how dumb it is. I love him.

"Father, stop this."/"What?"

"Not clever enough for the library and not brave enough for the world." Oww, I felt that one. Did Brennan have that waiting to use or did he come up with it on the spot because that was brutal.

Goldenhoard goes through the whole party, trying to hit their weakest point and he gets what might have been a great hit on Fig (You're so unloveable your father would rather go to hell than stay with you.) but she just says, "You have got to stop flirting with me," and completely diffuses the moment. As unflappable as Brennan is, he had to take a sec to jump back into the insult parade after that.

"I'm going to eat you."/"OH MY GOD."/"I'm not making it sexual!"

"*The* ball, bitch."

OK, I was wondering what the deal was with Riz's dad. Because giving him that gun implies a chance to kill his dad's killer but I didn't think it could be Goldenhoard directly because of the binding. That's another point towards Riz being the one to finish him off.

Wild that they weren't able to get any of the kids (save Ragh eventually) to help them with the fight. You go to adventuring school! Cowards! You would never make it at Sunnydale and that school was mostly normals!

The one dude still just getting food while Goldenhoard has turned into a full on dragon.

When an 18 wasn't a high enough roll for Fig to make her fear check, that's when I realized my earlier apprehension wasn't misplaced. I mean, maybe it should have been when he turned into a dragon but it is what it is.

But Fig skating away and then going, "Just kidding bitch," because she got it on the very next turn was hilarious.

Kristen still not being 100% on whether Ragh is gay or not.

Who was gonna kick Ragh off the team for being gay? Maybe Daybreak would have but Gorthalax def wouldn't have. Maybe he means he would have been bullied off?

Siobahn to Kristen/Ally: Stop outing students.

I can't believe Gorgug had to kiss Ragh in the middle of this fight to get his head in the game.

Also, I didn't get into it before because I knew this scene was coming but poor Ragh. Like, I could have told him things were gonna go this way and he's a big dummy for thinking otherwise, but poor dude. And then he finally gets it together and he gets wrecked.

"EMILY, I SOMETIMES CAN'T TELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT."

Siobhan doing the D&D equivalent of reminding the teacher they had homework.

The amount of dice that Brennan rolled for Goldenhoard was truly horrifying. That's permadeath damage.

AND HE GOT THE HEALER DOWN FIRST. This was the next moment I started sensing a TPK.

"HOMOPHOBE!"/"You hit both of the gay ones!"

Kristen taking damage from Goldenhoard's libertarian speech.

I find it such a Fig move to be like, "Can I use charm person to snap Adaine out of it," instead of the spell actually made for that purpose. 

Rolling low perception and getting no information is the worst because then it's like...OK I know something's out there but what dammit?

When Brennan said Fig would have to do opposed athletics against Adaine, that was the first time I was like, "Oh thank God she's so weak."

Murph forgetting to uncanny dodge until midway through the ep was uncharacteristic. Really shows how wild the fight was. 

"This kid likes to get his ass beat to a soundtrack."

Fabian refusing to just use the stairs like a normal person. 

Penelope going, "What's your deal?" like she's not helping an evil dragon who wants to rule the world. 

JAWBONE

JAWBONE JAWBONE JAWBONE

My man Jawbone shot way up on the list of cool adults today.

For real, the scene with Jawbone and Adaine was my second favorite moment of the episode and it would have been my favorite if not for a bit of divine intervention later. 

I already made a post about this but Jawbone notices Adaine flipping the hell out and he asks her if she has panic attacks and if her parents gave her any meds for it. She responds in, like, the smallest, most broken and defeated voice with a tiny head shake, "My parents just left and I don't know where they are." Gah, my heart. She was half crying. I was half awake and being kicked in the face with the full force of human emotion. It was a lot. I felt like I was a kid watching that one scene from Fresh Prince again but British-er. She gets that her parents suck and she hates them but she's 14. Everyone wants their parents to love them. It's like in our DNA.

And then Jawbone launches into the wildest motivational speech ever (including all of Kristen's, which is saying a lot) which starts with him sucking off a border patrol agent. (You understand me?/No!)

Ally, MVP of Terrible Speeches: *That* was the point?

Siobhan trying not to crack up and break character throughout that whole scene was great.

I love that Brennan was clearly trying to not encourage people to mess with their med dosage irl because he was very specific about that but also he was like, "A dragon is about to end the world so please shotgun this bottle of magic Xanax and hop on that bike."

I love that Adaine has all the magic stuff in her inventory and then also Xanax.

Aww, Jawbone offered to let her live with him because her house burned down. (I guess that info was on the news?)

And then Adaine rolls a 20 with the help from her meds (and buffs) right away! It's great when the dice cooperate.

"I came here to FUCK SHIT UP. And help children."

"Jawbone rules. I'm so glad we helped him get his life together."

Jawbone is such a sketch person but such a good counselor.

Siobhan calling Goldenhoard and absolute fucking unit sayed be at 5 in the morning when I watched this.

"I AM A CHILD. YOU ARE ATTACKING A BUNCH OF CHILDREN YOU COWARD."

"Then why is your dick out?" Adaine joining in Fig w/ the taunting Goldenhoard via accusations of flirting. 

"Why are you guys partially singed?"/"Because he's been attacking us Dad! Also Dad, he kind of used to come on to me all the time."

"Play the drums more and we'll have a full band on stage!"/"...Instead."

"You ruined prom!"/"I RUINED PROM?"

At this point I was thinking, "Geez, there's not a lot of episode left and Penelope isn't even dead yet. How could they possibly defeat Goldenhoard AND have time for tying up loose ends?" TPK vibes increase.

Adaine getting a nat 20 on Arcana, "Yeah it is what it is. You're screwed."

Hell yeah for Adaine giving Goldenhoard her low divination roll to ensure her lightning bolt hit. Not that it ended up mattering that much but still. Sick.

"Well you could have told me before this very moment!"/"I was dead!"

I just checked on the stats of an an adult red dragon in 5E and it's got 256 HP. 256! And look at the other stats! They're wild.

"This is the number of dice?"/"Yeah."/"God."

Fig goes down. Their secondary healer. So, not good. Very not good.

Brennan letting Emily burn Goldenhoard's tie as she passes out because Emily refuses to do nothing.

And Riz goes down too! The one with the med kit! At this point I was like, there is no way this can end well.

"How far away is the hospital?" I love it when they try just normal solutions in this magic game like calling their parents and going to the hospital.

It is an hour and 47 minutes into the episode before Adaine remembers she's wearing a magic coat that can make her anything (within reason). Which, to be fair, it took me a little bit too but, in my defense, I'm not staring at her character sheet.

Real talk, I didn't think she was gonna get anything from the jacket from that ask. Something to beat Kalvaxis is such a big ask.

When Brennan started going into the jacket stuff I was like, this is a really weird deus ex machina if that's what this is. But also, the kids have been hilariously chill with just having Adaine walk around in a jacket filled with people.

There was a lot to unpack there and I'll got to it in another post but I can't do another 4k epic this week y'all. I have work in the morning.

Adaine yelling for Basrar to get them their ice cream before they freaking die.

Aww Gorthalax tried to heal Fig instead of attacking.

"Daddy that was a waste of a turn."

Gorgug who has a million hit points went down and all the healers are down. There are less than ten minutes left in the episode. TPK for sure, I'm thinking.

Adaine flipping people off with a vengeance today.

Also the fact that she totally forgot that she could ask for a healing potion which is totally a thing that she almost def would have been able to get is hilarious. I mean it wouldn't have been as funny if the episode ended differently but, as it stands, hilarious.

"Does the Hangman know medicine?"

"What about this student? Is he studying to be a cleric?"

Adaine is down. That's everyone down but Fabian. Three and a half minutes left. And that's when I realize. There's not enough time for a good ending, but there's not enough time for a bad ending either. But there's no S2. This is an anthology series. What's going on here my sleepy 6am brain is saying.

Fig giving her dad bardic inspiration while passed out because Emily is Emily.

Everyone (exceptt Riz) was making their saves. I'm thinking, "Is next season different characters, same setting. Maybe a bunch of years in the future? Legacy characters?" I'm trying to put together the fact that this is the finale with 2 minutes left with the fact that they're playing different characters next season. The pieces aren't fitting. 

And that's because I couldn't have predicted what was about to happen.

Ally, clearly joking says, "Can I roll for a nat 20 and just be alive?"

Brennan, barely thinking, says, "Sure, go for it," as casually as if he was okaying a perception check.

Murph and Lou are cracking up at the absurdity of the ask. 

Ally says, "This is to the corn god," half solem, half smiling.

Siobhan holds her hand over the dice like she's blessing them.

"I know I left for a while," Ally starts as the dice are cast and...

"NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!"

Everyone goes WILD.

Ally punches air.

Brennan looks like someone slapped him.

Emily: You have to rip up your comparative world religions book.

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED

And what did we learn today? A 5 percent chance is small, but not insignificant. 

OK, there’s one thing I want to address before I tap out for the night (and it’s not spell checking. I’ll do that in the morning).

I saw some people discussing the possibility that they faked the ending. Like, they just edited it like that to give them another chance because they were all about to die. Beyond the fact that I just trust them to not have done that, the other big reason I don’t think that’s likely is because there was a much more seamless way of stacking the deck in their favor. Brennan could have had Adaine pull literally anything out of her jacket. And I truly mean anything because this is a finale. Even if he gave her something game breaking, it wouldn’t have set a precedent because it’s the last ep. And that’s beyond all the NPCs that could plausibly have come in because they know something is up and teleportation is a thing in this world. Nah, I think that was just good, old fashioned, luck of the roll and thank Helio because they needed it.

OK, that’s it for now! Join me at some point between now and next ep to unpack this because it’s a lot and apparently we have another episode to get through. Hoot growl baby!