#also! i've tried to draw astarion so many times before but I never like how they turn out skdjhfkjshsf

[gotchibam]

Commissioned piece for Gabriel!

[animentality]

I just had the most devastating honor mode run end that I have ever had, and I'm not going to lie.

I have never been tilted by Baldur's Gate 3...until today.

And it's honestly more tilted than I've ever been at a video game...and I spent like 3 years playing fucking Overwatch...and Dead by Daylight, where the world's worst people congregate to torture one another.

The last time I was at the gith creche, I got my ass handed to me by That Prick who I am going to call Wargass. He's the bitch who tries to murder you when you don't kill the Emperor.

Last time, I almost lost the run because of his legendary move, which is the most horse shit thing in existence.

Basically, every time you fucking hit him OR AN ALLY...he summons a sword to shove up your ass. And it just fucking appears next to you, and surrounds you, so you can't escape without taking opportunity attacks.

So last time, I escaped by going invisible, and running away so I could come back and kill him by dragging him out to the bridge outside the Vlaakith room.

This time, I thought, well last time I got fucked because I was in the center of the room, and we were just taking hits from everywhere. No cover anywhere. This time, I gotta be able to position, maybe surprise enemies.

So I choose the right dialogue options, to make sure Vlaakith doesn't just nuke us.

But then I see the Astral Portal...and I think...well, what if I position myself now? And we just kill him before going into the Portal...can you do that?

And like a fucking moron...

I say fuck it, let's try it.

And uh. I don't know how many of you have ever tried this, but...when you do that?

Lae'zel immediately leaves your party.

So.

I was fucked instantly. Lae'zel is a fucking fighter, which is the second most demonic class after Paladin. She is fucking stacked and has the best goddamn gear I have, and she immediately kills Karlach using action surge. Gale also dies immediately, because he's squishy and there are a million bitches with psychic rend around him.

The only reason the run didn't end there was because I went invisible and fled.

Now I went and revived everyone in camp, but I thought ok...so I have to go back, with four people, and get my shit back...

I bring in Astarion, because I think, it'll be fine, we just need to drag them out onto that bridge...

Guess what? It wasn't fine. I had to draw Astarion and myself back, because Gale and Karlach die again. See, the fucking problem is, the normal strat of making distance doesn't work here. Normally, you can aoe a ton of enemies or have them run into walls of fire or whatever. But these fucking swords that Wargass summons literally APPEAR NEXT TO YOU. And they all take a swing, and break your concentration. Plus, even if you do manage to break them, and good luck with that, he just makes more, every goddamn turn.

So almost in tears, I swap out Astarion and pull in Wyll.

I need Hunger of Hadar, my cheese spell.

It kind of works, because I put it on the bridge, and all of his dumb bitch guards get stuck in it. But THEN Wargass, being a fucking prick, chases me around and murders me out of pure spite. Then Karlach and Gale almost kill him...but then he does his usual bullshit, of using his swords to kill everyone.

And I just...at this point, I'm just done.

Wyll can't do anything, he's out of spells. He can't even run, because there are swords near him.

I just have him take an opportunity attack, and call the run over.

And it's funny, because I'm doing an honor mode run with my buddy, where we've done basically everything wrong...but we still made it to Act 3 mostly unscathed.

With only one or two close calls.

But this is the second time my run's been fucked by the goddamn creche boss battle.

And you know... I love Bg3...but I have played way too many goddamn hours.

Need to take a break and just write porn about it, like god intended.