animentality - Tumblr blog

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I have felt terror in the form of my boss figuring out that I only work half the time.

But in penance, I am now working...3/4s of the time.

So.

Progress.

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Guys I'm not getting fired after all!!

My boss decided I'm more useful alive.

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I love token gay dads.

Like you don't wanna make any of your important characters queer so just have one of the side characters have gay dads that he casually mentions so you know that the author is so cool with queers buying their book.

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Figuring out how to code something in GitHub is literally like crack.

Fuck everyone who puts complicated tables in their fucking handbooks and reports and then begs for a GitHub version of them for revision.

You're demonic.

But I did it anyway.

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DONT MAKE ME TOUCH GRASS NO I WONT I WONT DO IT GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME ILL DIE IF YOU TAKE ME OUTSIDE NOOOOOOOO-

Why is it so cold outside, isn't it spring? wtf.

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Welcome to the fascist regime. Our government has been crafting this plan for years. I am horrified of the now and the future.

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Jesus. Satan. My sleep paralysis demon.

I woke up this morning.

I whispered "Mark Cuckerberg."

Then I went back to sleep.

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Just thought I'd collect all of my graphics for 7 Deadly Habits of the Modern Demon Summoner here. Book available here.

Sorry if your Tumblr crashes, but to be fair to me...I am not a software engineer at Tumblr, so.

Blame them.

Full description below.

Twenty-three-year-old CEO Don Francisco wants one of the richest women in the world dead. Which one? Daphne Oakland: actress, model, heir to the Oakland financial empire, and unbeknownst to the general public, talented demon summoner. But since Francisco isn’t nearly as rich as the established Oakland family, he hires the only assassin he can afford: Sebastián Monterey, a down-on-his-luck, struggling demon summoner, the cheapest and lowest ranking one there is.

But Monterey is nothing like Cisco expected. He’s high-spirited, reckless, relentlessly cheerful …and worse, he’s a bit of a slut. The CEO is horrified to find out that Monterey has not just one, but seven angry exes in the killing business, who will stop at nothing to get in the way of an already impossible hit. Not only do they have personal reasons for wanting to see their former lover dead, they also have professional reasons: they are all currently employed by the Oakland family members!

To make matters worse, Monterey finds out the Oaklands are each protecting a demon ritual artifact for Daphne. When brought together, all 7 can be used to summon a demon more powerful than any currently contracted on earth. If he is to carry out this hit at all, he’ll have to interfere with the summon by stealing every artifact, and maybe even summon the demon before Daphne can.

But that's only if none of his exes kill him first!

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Ken threw the first brick at stonewall.