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obsessive-ego · 3 years

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Just go with it

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Lewd mentions

Beetlejuice needs you to pretend to be his fiance or he's in trouble

"Babes?"

...

"Babes, wake up"

....?

"Y/n wake up"

What?

Was your first thought as you are shaken awake by the ghost who has made your home his, you mumble out something unintelligible as you grope around for your phone, you cringe as the bright light of the screen blinds you, as your eyes adjust to the light you groan, 4am.

"Beetlejuice, what-"

"Okay, babes, no time to explain but I need you to pretend to be my fiance" despite the odd statement beetlejuice sounded a tad worried.

"What?"

"Long story short I may have said a few things to some guys, and if we dont pull this off I will be dragged back to the netherworld" the ghoul whispered dragging you out if bed.

"Oh" was all you could muster is your drowsy state.

"So theres a suit from the netherworld waiting to meet you, in your living room, now" beetlejuice continued rubbing the back of his neck.

You sigh and shuffle about your room, slipping on slippers and giving your hair a quick once over, as you reach for your housecoat beetlejuice swats away your hand.

"Bee-"

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders "this will work much better babes, we need to sell this"

You groan, you were too tired for this, thank god you didnt work in the morning, who knows how long this shit is gonna take, but as tired as you were you couldnt let whoever take your ghost back to the netherworld.

"Okay you're my fiance, I proposed a week ago, and you're head over heels for me, that last part wont be hard to fake huh doll?" The ghoul gives you a wink, you sigh.

"Wait, almost forgot" the ghoul snaps his fingers, you feel a light squeeze on you right handed middle finger.

Upon your finger appears rather tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, you honestly felt your heart squeeze when you saw it, to be honest staring at the ring felt like a dream, maybe because you just woke up? It was beautiful, and the idea of it being for real kinda hurt knowing it was for pretend, but those feelings didnt matter right now, Beej needed you to help him avoid being dragged back to the netherworld, you can think about those depressing emotions later.

The two of you leave the bedroom, beetlejuice takes the lead as you shuffle behind.

As the two of you enter the living room you could help but pause and stare at the 'suit' beej claimed that was waiting for you.

In your little arm chair sat a fairly tall skeleton man, his bones a blueish hue, wearing a lime green suit that looked fresh off the rack, guess not all dead guys wore dirty clothes, in all honesty this was your first time seeing another dead person aside from the maitlands and beetlejuice, they were human, beej was humanish, but this guy looked like he walked out of a cartoon.

"Sorry for the wait, you know breathers, they need to sleep" beetlejuice cackled snapping you from your thoughts "well there's y/n, theres the ring, and theres the door, feel free to use it" beetlejuice snears, wanting to get this whole thing done with, yes he adored messing with you, and with different circumstances this could have been funny, but too much was on the line for him and you were an awful liar, he loved you sure, but theres no way you could pull off lying.

"Y/n I presume?" The skeleton gestures to you, completely ignoring beetlejuice, you nod "its pleasure to put a face to the name, I apologize for the rude awakening, when you've been dead for as long as I have, you tend to lose the meaning of time, my dear this wont take long, we just need to clear up some loose ends then you can get back to your rest" the skeleton gestures you to sit on the couch next to beetlejuice who has already made himself comfortable.

You gently sit down next to BJ who was quick to drape an arm over your shoulders and pull you into his side.

The skeleton pulls out a clipboard from his jacket and flips through the pages

"Lawrence B Shoggoth, y/n m/n l/n, I have requested an audience with you two to clear up some issues with Lawrence's recent updated paper work, not to mention a handful of rumours that need to be put to bed" the ghoul flips through the papers "it says here the y/n you are Lawrence's spouse, is that true?"

You nod

"You see y/n, Lawrence here cant be trusted at face value, so that is why I must converse with you on the matter, so you are his fiance correct?"

"Yes"

"I see, now how long have the two of you known each other?"

"About a year or so" you shrug

"Mmmhmm" the ghoul scribbles down something and continues "now when did he propose to you?"

"Last week" this was so anxiety inducing, for a man with no eyeballs it sure felt like he was staring into your soul.

"Now what drawn you to such a, oh how do I put this, such a man?"

You hear beetlejuice huff out as if he was insulted.

"Well, beetlejuice may be rough around the edges, and can be a dick at times, but he's great company, hes funny, witty, has great taste in movies, and he makes me smile, hes also, well, he's also good looking too" you look away from both parties, as you were clearly embarrassed over what you said, it was the truth, but it still made your face burn.

Beetlejuice leans forward, looking in your direction, eyes wide and mouth a gape, his hair now a bright pink.

"Mr Shoggoth, you look surprised at y/n's words" the ghoul grabs Beetlejuice's attention.

"Heh, you see y/n is the shy type, hearing that type a thing is rare and ALWAYS gets my attention". Beetlejuice slicks his hair back removing the pink and resetting it to its default green.

"Mmmmhmmm" was the ghoul's only response as attention was drawn back to you.

"So y/n you truly are betrothed to Lawrance, you want to be wed to him on purpose?" The skeleton's tone was almost surprised, as if beetlejuice was the most revolting creature in existence and you wanting, out of your own free will to be bound to such a thing, was the most insane thing he has ever herd.

You nod, beetlejuice gives the skeleton a smug toothy grin.

"This isnt a joke, nor is he blackmailing or threatening you?" His tone sounded desperate, as if he needed to prove beetlejuice was lying for his own good.

You only shake your head, while beetlejuice surpresses a laugh

"Ya see bone head? I'm innocent~" he chuckles, squeezing you close to his side.

"Y/n you are aware of what you're doing for Lawrence correct?" The skeleton sounded almost smug, you only stare back, waiting for him to elaborate.

"You see y/n, you are doing Lawrence here a huge favor, when the dead marry the living, they are able to walk the earth like you do, you are granting him life, something he has never had, this is why we must confirm with you, that you understand what he's doing" the skeleton gestures to beetlejuice, the demon only rolls his eyes in response.

"I know"

Attention is drawn to you

"I know all about that life giving thing, beetlejuice told me about it"

"Well you see y/n, this isnt the first time Lawrence has-"

"I know, I was told, by him and the person he tried to marry the first time, small world huh"

The skeleton pauses for a moment then coughs into his fist, as if to regain his composure after being surprised, he continues "I see, Lawrence has been honest with you, I didnt think he had it in him"

Beetlejuice snarls at the comment, tips of his hair turning red.

"Just a few more loose ends y/n then you can return to your rest" the skeleton flips through his papers "ah, Lawrence, y/n may have been couched, and since you seem so eager to speak, I do have a few things I need to clarify with you, if the two of you are in love as you say and this isnt a farce, you would know plenty about your future spouse, when was y/n born?" The skeleton snears as if hes caught you two red handed

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "easy *birthday day and year* hell I woke them up with some early morning birthday head"

You cover your face in embarrassment at that comment, yet you were surprised he knew the year.

"Correct, and might I saw congratulations on a LEGAL partner this time"

Beetlejuice rolls his eyes at the low blow before grumbling "it was a green card thing"

The skeleton ignores Beetlejuice's comment and continues "what drew you to this breather? And please keep it out of the gutter"

Beetlejuice huffs "spoil sport, y/n here is one of the kindest, sweetest, softest breather I ever met, they let me do whatever I want, they want me around, no stings attached, they got great taste, just look at the company they keep, and let me tell ya, the first time we met they sucker punched me in the jaw for scaring them, and I've been dreaming of that swing ever since"

You just stare at the ghoul, he remembered that? He remembered how he first met you? When lydia locked you in the basement and he jumped out at you, successfully scaring you but earning himself a fist in the jaw, wow. Your face felt hot remembering that, what a frist impression.

The night droned on and on with dull questions the suit had lined up to prove beetlejuice was lying, but every question had an appropriate answer, and the skeleton knew he could not prove anything as the night went on.

Low on patience and time he decided call it quits.

The skeleton pushes his clipboard back into his jacket and sighs "I appreciate your time y/n, thank you for your cooperation, and Lawrence, I look forward form your departure of death, a short vacation from you is the pick me up I deserve" the skeleton raises up from your chair and walks over to a wall on the other side of the room, you watch him draw a door, and knock 3 times, you're livingroom wall opens up to the netherworld. You freeze at the sight, you always felt uneasy seeing the netherworld portal open up, maybe it was a living thing? As if beetlejuice felt your discomfort he pulls you into a side hug, grounding your anxiety, you give a sigh of what feels like relief.

The skeletontirns to face the two of you "Before my departure, y/n I do have one final thing to ask you, can you kiss Lawrence for me?"

"What?" You gawk in confusion

Beetlejuice snorts out a laugh "what? You the type of guy who gets off on watching others get hot and heavy, I mean I feel ya, but if you insist, I can help a guy out" beetlejuice is quick to cup your face "give daddy some sugar~" he purrs puckering up to go in for the kiss.

"Lawrence you misunderstand me, I ask y/n, if you two are truly betrothed, shy or not, y/n shouldnt have any issues kissing their lover" the skeleton gestures to you, without eyeballs or eyebrows he sure wore a smug face, as if he found you two out.

Beej snorts out his nose, great, he's fucked, theres no way you could sell this now, the ghoul had to take the lead and try to steer this away from what this bureaucrat wants "Shy or not, my little sex pot here isnt too keen on others watching, believe me, I tired, the only thing they wont do in the bedroom-"

"Bee, it's fine" you interject, gently grabbing the demons sleeve, he looks at you mouth agape, green slowly blossoming into pink in his face and hair.

"You mind leaning down honey?" You ask softly, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, yes beetlejuice has kissed you more times then you could remember, and yes, youd be lying if you didnt enjoy them, but taking the lead? That was new, and to have someone watching? Not to mention if you dont make this look good he's gonna take beetlejuice away.

Beetlejuice on the other was practically glowing pink, and vibrating with excitment, not to mention drooling.

You gently cup the demons face, running your thumbs across his stubble, you swore you could hear the demon purring, you take a deep breath through your nose before closing the gap between the two of you.

Beetlejuice's hands find homes for themselves, on in your hair, the other on the center of your back. Your hands move from the demon's face and bury themselves in his messy hair, gently giving his head a scratch, you squeak with surprise as the ghoul lifts you up from the ground, instinct kicks in nd you wrap you legs around his waist, lips still locked with his, you feel his tongue probing at you mouth, begging for your permission to enter, you oblige, his tongue wasnt new to you, you felt it a handful of times, running up the side of your face when the ghoul was trying to get your attention mostly, but in your mouth?

It was long, and big, and kind of cold, it easily took the lead, exploring your mouth.

You push on Beetlejuice's chest to notify him you needed to breath, the two of pull your lips part from each others, a thin line of saliva still connecting the two of you.

"Oh Lawrence" you sigh

The demon now completely electric pink, still holding you up growls before asking "couch?"

You hum out "yes"

Before the ghoul flops backwards on the couch, having you sit on top of him, you give his tie a quick yank and he groans in response.

"Oh doll, you're lucky you dont work tomorrow, cuz I want you to ride me all night~"

"Ahem!"

The two of you freeze for a moment, beetlejuice snickers at your face, clearly embarrassed, you pause for a moment, swallowing your shame before addressing the ghoul who was still here

"You're still here?" Was all you manged to breath out

"I mean I'm into it, but y/n? Not so much, and they clearly arent into you watching so" beetlejuice snorts, trying to wave the skeleton off so the demon could relax.

"I see, y/n you clearly are attracted to him, and understand all the consequences of marrying the dead, I declare that Lawrence B Shoggoth was, in fact, telling the truth, this should be a holiday, such a rare occasion" the skeleton trailed off as he walked into the netherworld, you only watched as he vanished and the walls of your little apartment rearranged themselves like it never happened.

You sat top beetlejuice for a moment, sighing over dodging the bullet of losing your, very dear friend, you may or may not be head over heels for.

You're reminded of where you were sitting with a familiar pinch on your butt.

"Hey honey~" the ghoul purrs

You jerk up at recalling the situation you're in, beetlejuice groans at you movement

"Careful sweets, keep moving like that and you'll turn this semi into a boner" he snorts out a chuckle.

You're quick to get off the demon, though he did grunt in protest, before sitting back up and pulling a couch cushion over his lap, despite how crude he was, he did have SOME common courtesy.

As much fun as it would have been for the demon to tease you on your rather hot actions, he noticed how your attention wasnt on him, rather then you were staring at the wall that was once the door to the netherworld.

"So we did it?" Was all you seemed to whisper

"Yup, I got to hand it to you babes, you did quite a good job fooling that stiff"

You turn back to the demon and give him a soft smile feeling completely relieved.

"You know it's funny y/n, you're a terrible liar, and you sure as hell cant act, you got way too many tells, but yet, I didnt see a single twitch nor did I hear a single stutter, why's that?~" you knew that tone oh too well, it was the 'I know something embarrassing about you' tone, it was smug yet made your legs turn to jelly.

"I guess when it comes down to really important stuff i guess i can-" you stammer while fiddling with the hem of your shirt

"I dont think so dolly" beej was quick to interrupt "babes, you've been wearing my jacket the whole time, I've seen you keep glancing down at the ring, and fuck me, the amount of fire in that kiss, someone like you cant fake that"

You refuse to look his way, this was one hell.of a way to come clean with your feelings, a heavy silence fills the room, though you're pretty sure beetlejuice could hear your heart pounding away.

As if the ghoul could sense your discomfort, he sighs "ya know babes, it's pretty late, and breathers need to sleep, so how bout you head back to bed and I'll finish grilling you in the morning"

Glancing back at beetlejuice you could see the flicks of purple appearing in the pink mess of his hair, you give the ghouls half hearted smile, as you go to take off the jacket he raising his hand motioning you to stop

"Its gonna be cold tonight babes, how bout you keep it warm for me?"

"Oh, alright, night Bee, glad I could help you" you wave off as you head to your bedroom to over think what just happened.

Beetlejuice groans when he hears the familiar sound of your bedroom door closing, he was so close to getting a real confession out of you, but tomorrow morning is gonna be pretty dangerous for you, he sighs removing the pillow from his lap, he had a more pressing matter to attend too, and with your taste on his tongue and the beautiful imagine of you on top of him yanking at his tie, this 'problem' wont take long to deal with.

Bonus

The next morning was quite awkward, beetlejuice wasnt kidding about grilling you in the morning, but at least what felt like an interrogation last night, now felt like childish teasing

"Bee, can I ask you something about last night?"

The ghoul beams with excitement at your question "anything you want babes"

"If we would have failed, what would have happened to you, you said you would have been dragged back to the netherworld and" you pause hoping the ghoul would fill in

"Oh, yeah, if we would have got caught I would have had to spend a week in the netherworld with my mother fixing this paperwork and just being chewed out, a nightmare babes, we dodged a bullet" he raises his hand for a high five as if to congratulate you on helping him out

"What, I'm sorry what"

Beetlejuice lowers his hand and frowns at your response

"Beetlejuice I was worried sick, I thought they were gonna take you away forever, i was terrified if i fuck up I'd never see you again, like what am i supposed to do without you?! I dont want you to leave me" you practically screamed

Beetlejuice only started at you, slowly soaking in what you said

'I dont want you to leave me'

His blank stare slowly shifts to a smile, flicks of pink appearing in his hair "dont worry sugar, you're stuck with me"

#beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader

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yoramkelmer · 4 years

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Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 7: Innocents All

So, I hope to do this in one shot, but can´t promise anything.

Considering that it was only at the end of last chapter in which the plot finally arrived after six chapters, it´s kinda misleading that the chapter was named "From Heaven to Hell", considering that we don´t even see that hell there.

Anyway, so last time we checked in, the Sues were surprised by three very unwelcome guests.

Who could that be?

The girls all instinctively reached for their wands, but their reactions were too slow and they were hindered by their physical situations: Jamie holding Ben, and both Caitlin and Emily lying prone.

How inconvenient.

Hooch had Apparated with her wand at the ready. "Accio Nipple! wand! Accio wand!" She repeated rapidly, pointing her wand at Emily and Caitlin in quick succession. Their wands flew toward her and she grabbed them deftly in her left hand as without the slightest hesitation she pointed her wand toward the apparently unarmed Jamie and cried, "Expelliarmus!"

Jamie was thrown violently backward against the wall, her head colliding with it harshly before she fell unconscious to the floor. Ben was ejected from her arms by the force of the impact and landed a few feet away, screaming. Timmy sat petrified, too terrified to even cry.

Hmm, I doubt I would have been too terrified to cry in such a situation at that age.

"You bitch," Emily yelled, running toward Hooch, her fists clenched. "I'll kill you with my bare hands, if you've hurt either one of them."

"Ridiculous little girl," Hooch snarled. "Crucio!"

Emily's legs buckled as she fell to the floor in pain, excruciating pain the likes of which she had never experienced; her blood boiled; her bones were on fire; she screamed with agony; she wanted to die so it would end.

So do I.

And then suddenly the pain was gone. She lay in the fetal position on the floor, her body covered in sweat. But she wasn't alone. Caitlin had evidently tried to aid her by sharing the pain and now she too was reduced to a quivering pile of bones.

"So, my sweet petite Caitlin is the healer that the prophecy refers to," Madam Hooch said smugly, twirling her moustache, walking over to the blonde girl, "And not just an ordinary healer, but quite a bit more, a Hyperempath. How noble and righteous you have become, wanting to share your sister's agony. But you are no longer an orphan that must share with the other girls. You should experience the full pleasure on your own. "Crucio!"

You know, ever since I first read the sporking on Das Mervin of this fic, all I could think of was this:

Why Madam Hooch?

Every part of Caitlin felt like it was being pierced again and again by red-hot daggers, but instead of sweat, blood seeped from her pores. Hooch ended the curse, but only after Caitlin had passed out.

"Interesting," Hooch said, running a finger across Caitlin's motionless body and studying the blood it amassed. "I've heard legends about Hyperempaths sweating blood if they were in agonizing pain, but until now I thought they were just fairy tales."

I have no idea why this is so significant right now, as this is never ever mentioned again.

"Begging your pardon Madam, but shouldn't we be more protective of the innocents?" Goyle asked fearfully.

"I agree with Goyle," Crabbe muttered. "The Great One will be elated that we've happened upon all four innocents when our mission was only to kidnap Slytherin's heir, but she'll have our heads if any harm befalls any of them before they can serve their purpose."

Just....read this. Read this aloud. Does this in any way sound like something either Crabbe or Goyle would say?

"How dare you impudent, good-for-nothing, ne'er-do-wells have the cheek to tell me what I shall or shall not do?" Madam Hooch bellowed, threatening to eat their nipples.

They both cowered as she turned toward them, her wand still in hand.

"We'd never be so bold," Goyle explained, shaking nervously. "It's just that… Well, the Great One was very clear that no harm should come to the Weasley brat. Would not the same hold true for the other innocents as well?"

Except for Ben, what´s so innocent about them?

Hooch studied Goyle intently and then surveyed the room. "Perhaps I was a tad over zealous," she reluctantly admitted, pocketing her wand. "You are right. The Great One will be extremely pleased. She was troubled as to just how we would go about seizing the other innocents while the Hogwarts' wards protected them. It was extremely accommodating of them to come to us."

How convenient.

"Will someone shut that damn baby up?" Hooch shouted. Emily had already edged over to Ben and was trying to quiet him, but to no avail.

"Jamie or Hermione generally takes care of him," Timmy whispered timidly, as he crawled over next to Emily, clutching his crayons and colouring book possessively.

Does this sound like something a 5 year old would say?

"Caitlin, put your abilities to use; see to her," Hooch ordered the now stirring girl.

Caitlin detested following Hooch's orders, but in this case was grateful to be permitted to tend to Jamie. Although still weak from the effects of the Cruciatus curse , she managed to stagger over to Jamie.

Because even the Cruciatus curse won´t stop her from using her Sue Powers.

Caitlin stroked Jamie's head for a few moments; after a bit, the older girl slowly opened her eyes. "You'll be all right," Caitlin said reassuringly. "Just a slight concussion."

Jamie ignored Caitlin's cautions as she struggled to get to her knees and then finally stand upright. As soon as she was on her feet, she hurried to Emily and they transferred the bawling Ben. The baby, once in Jamie's arms calmed and soon stopped crying.

Must be one of Jamies Sue Powers, stopping babies from crying.

"Well done Miss Zacherley," Hooch said. "I think you may have just won yourself a postponement of your execution."

"Have I already mentioned how evil I am?"

Crabbe and Goyle looked questioningly at Madam Hooch. "But our orders were to kill any extras," Crabbe blurted out.

"Our orders were also to just bring back Slytherin's heir," Hooch retorted. "What do you suggest we do with the other innocents? You must learn to fine-tune your orders to the situation at hand. We will soon have all four innocents in safekeeping, but it is over two weeks until the new moon and the time of their sacrifice. I, for one, do not intend to spend that time as a nursemaid to these brats. Which of you two wasters wants to take care of that insufferable infant; feed him, change his nappy?"

That sounds so convenient.

Both buffoons aggressively wobbled their heads to say no.

"We'll take her back with us," Hooch decided. "She gets to play nanny for the next two weeks as an alternative to us. When all is said and done, it will just mean disposing of one additional corpse."

Crabbe and Goyle's heads bobbled in agreement.

Jamie, Emily and Caitlin had all paid attention as the followers of the Great One had opening discussed their ultimate fate. They now all remained silent. Emily actually seemed to be trying to keep Timmy's attention by drawing in his colouring book.

Uuuuh, I wonder if this will be significant later.....

"We've wasted enough time jabbering," Hooch finally said. "Let's get them back to head quarters, where Damien and the Great One can congratulate us on our good fortune."

"Should we go put clothes on?" *gasp!* Jamie asked, most cooperatively. Her foremost reason for asking was the hope that she could get out of view long enough to draw her wand from its invisible sheath and catch Hooch unaware. She knew that if she could just incapacitate Hooch, she would be able to handle Crabbe and Goyle easily.

I thought Jamie always had that invisible sheath on her? Apparently only when the plot demands.

Speaking of which.....why doesnt Caitlin now use her powers to kill Hooch and the others with her mind?

On the other hand she was concerned about Crabbe and Goyle. Since things had quieted down, Goyle hadn't taken his eyes off her. She felt as if he had mentally violated her multiple times and it was only a matter of time before he got around to trying to do it physically. Goyle, however, didn't bother her nearly as much as Crabbe. Crabbe might be the dumber of the two, but he was also categorically the more lecherous. He seemed to be practically salivating as he ogled Emily and Caitlin.

Yeah, remember when it was said "his attraction to underage girls is well documented"?

"That would be a waste of time," Hooch said with a chortle. "You will be transported using a Portkey similar to the one used to get hold of your dear, look-alike, professor two years ago. It's good that you all enjoy being unclothed because that's how you'll be spending the remaining days of your lives."

Isnt that what Jamie wants?

"That lady just said that we could stay nudie for the rest of our lives," Timmy said elatedly to Caitlin and Emily.

I doubt Timmy at this stage wouldnt be able to see that this is a dangerous situation, after seeing the others get tortured.

"Isn't that great," Caitlin said giving Timmy a reassuring hug and purposely not explaining the true meaning of the ex-professor's remark.

I hate this fic.

"But what about the baby?" Jamie asked concernedly. "I need his diaper bag and the remaining packets of breast milk.

Hooch thought for a moment before answering. "Goyle, you Apparate ahead so that you are there to meet them on their arrival. Crabbe, you and I will see them off then I'll Apparate with the baby's immediate needs. You will make a side trip for diapers and infant formula."

Crabbe gave Hooch an insolent glare, but knew better than to question her orders, as he didnt want to lose his nipples.

"Benjamin doesn't take well to canned formula," Jamie advised. "He prefers breast milk."

"Well isn't that a pity," Hooch screeched uncaringly. "We don't always get what we want in life, do we? I'm afraid he'll just have to become accustomed to formula or go hungry."

Hooch observed the girl carefully as Jamie gathered Ben's belongings together. "What about Timmy?" Jamie inquired. "Should I collect some of his toys?"

Hooch looked disbelievingly at Jamie. "I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression," she bellowed. "You are not going on vacation and The Great One does not run a day care centre. Damien does, however, have a number of unique toys that I'm sure he'd be happy to demonstrate to all of you. That is enough of this pointless chatter. Goyle, go prepare for their arrival."

Oh, that plot point.....

Without so much as a glance or any question, the corpulent wizard Apparated with a loud pop.

Hooch removed what appeared to be a deflated children's pool float from her pocket. "Each of you grab hold of a bit of this," she ordered.

"You had better hold the baby tightly to you chest." She advised Jamie commandingly.

They all put a hand nervously on the Portkey, having no idea to where they were about to be transported. Hooch counted down from three and then they felt the, by now, all too recognizable jerk as though a hook located just behind their navels had suddenly jerked them irresistibly forward. Jamie held Benjamin tightly against her breasts as her feet left the ground; she could feel the others on either side of her, their shoulders banging into hers, Timmy yelling gleefully as Ben cried incessantly. They were all speeding forward as though stuck to the Portkey as it pulled them magically onward and then__

Seconds later, they slammed to the solid ground. Jamie struggled to maintain her footing as first Emily and then Caitlin knocked into her.

Timmy was on the ground in front of her screaming ecstatically, "Again, again, me loves Portkeys." Ben was just screaming, obviously not sharing Timmy's bliss.

This is so dumb.

"Enjoy the trip?" Goyle uttered wickedly as they struggled to get their bearings.

Then with a soft 'pop' Madam Hooch joined them. She tossed Ben's diaper bag at Jamie, who let it fall to the floor; her arms already occupied, trying to calm the distressed baby.

"These are your quarters," she said with a snicker. "I advise you not to lay a hand on anything. Damien does not tolerate anyone touching his playthings. What's more, some are extremely sharp and dangerous. You'll be fed in the morning, if you're lucky." She turned to leave, Goyle at her side, his eyes still fixed on Jamie's glistening nude body.

-___-

"But where are the beds, blankets and pillows? Caitlin inquired. "And I need to use the bathroom."

Hooch and Goyle exchanged depraved smiles before breaking into uncontainable cruel laughter.

"You're standing on your bed," Hooch laughed. "As for blankets and pillows, I'm afraid you'll have to use each other for such luxuries."

I hate this fic.

"That sewer grate is your bathroom," Goyle chuckled. "The hose pipe just to the left is your drinking water supply and may also be used for bathing if desired. One temperature fits all purposes."

"Get to sleep," Hooch ordered. "Remember, don't touch anything!"

How will she stop them from touching anything?

* * * * * *

Saturday, August 20, 2005

"Sam, wake up," Ron said, cautiously shaking the sleeping panther.

The panther growled sleepily and then transformed into his charming wife. WHY IS EVERYONE A FREAKING ANIMAGUS? Sam gave Ron a kiss on the cheek and then looked about the cell. Evidently she had been the last to arise because Harry and Hermione were already engaged in an animated conversation as they both paced back and forth in front of the dungeon cell waiting for Snape to arrive and unlock the chamber.

"Is something wrong?" Sam questioned apprehensively. "Why do Harry and Hermione appear so worried?"

"They were forced back into wearing clothes!"

"It's probably nothing," Ron said reassuringly. He seemed to be trying to persuade himself as much as Sam. "Hermione tried reaching Caitlin telepathically this morning when she awoke and was unable to."

DUN DUNN DUNNNN

Sam's face paled as she shook off Ron's embrace and hurried to Hermione's side. "Has this ever happened before, you not being able to contact her? Sam asked.

"No," Hermione answered, "but then we haven't been away from each other a great deal to methodically test it. Most of our contact by telepathy has been from one part of Hogwarts to another or sometimes Hogsmeade. During holiday we communicated from ship to shore and, of course, from our arrival point to that car park when those hooligans kidnapped the girls."

I think that´s the last time their almost-rape ever gets mentioned again. Again, what was the point of it?

"But you never had any problem reaching each other before? Maybe she is asleep or the Hogwarts wards are interfering," Sam suggested, hoping for a logical and calming solution.

"We've both managed to invade the other's deepest sleep," Hermione replied nervously. "Thus far the only thing that has impeded our thoughts from reaching each other has been distance and plate glass. Our thoughts were not the least bit hampered last evening and circumstances this morning should be identical."

Again, we never get to know why exactly glass is so different.

"Here he comes," Harry yelled, as he saw Snape turn the corner. "Ginny and Draco are with him."

* * * * * *

Cut for unnecessary discussion about who is to blame.

Now look at this:

"Weasley?" Malfoy questioned, finding it unbelievable that anyone could have been so dim-witted. "You had Ginny remove all the charms and wards on the apartment so that your landlord could show it to a potential tenant, didn't you? Please tell me that you didn't neglect to restore them before allowing those children to spend the night here."

Why couldnt Ginny do it? Why is it all Rons fault?

This is all just another excuse by Neil to shit on Ron.

"You can inform those bureaucratic do nothings if you desire," Harry shouted, "but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back idly and wait for them to find the kids. They were of absolutely no help when Hermione was kidnapped and I anticipate little more from them this time around."

Draco nodded his head in accord. "I'm glad that for once we are in agreement, Potter. Under Minister Wrong's administration the Aurors have become indolent and ineffective. They've made utterly no progress in the last two years toward eradicating that blot on the wizarding world known as the Great One."

I actually wonder why neither Harry, Draco or anyone else didn´t jump to the idea that....maybe Emma Wrong is the Great One?

"Harry, do you think it's him? Do you think the Great One has the children?" Hermione asked trying to maintain a semblance of control over her distraught emotions.

"Who else?" Harry answered. "The Great One wants to rule the world. He has shown himself to be ruthless, cunning and a tad psychotic. Anyone trying to resurrect the dead has to be crazy, especially when you're talking about a wizard that was as evil and monstrous as Salazar Slytherin."

I´ve said this before, but wouldnt it be a more interesting take if Salazar Slytherin, once resurrected, is disgusted by all that Emma Wrong did in his name and denounced evilness etc?

But because Neil stole this plot from the Draco Trilogy, Slytherin is gonna be eeeevul.

"Then you believe the kids were taken in order to fulfil the prophecy?" Ron asked.

"Why else?" Harry said. "What possible other reason could there be for kidnapping a baby, a toddler and two young girls?"

"You forgot Jamie," Ginny said.

This was only put in so Giny could say something.

"I didn't forget her," Harry said, his voice cracking and practically choking on his own words. "Actually at this point in time I'm most concerned about her because she could be considered unnecessary and therefore expendable."

Everyone stared at Harry, but Severus was the first to offer a rationalization for his comment. "If someone is indeed going to attempt to restore to life Salazar Slytherin, they will be using some of the oldest and darkest magic known to the wizard world. Magic that is forbidden and the use of which is considered a more heinous crime than any of the forbidden curses.

As if we all didn´t already know that.

"Such magic takes months of preparation and can only be attempted under prescribed conditions. One of those conditions is that the rebirth must coincide with the birth of the moon."

"By birth of the moon, are you referring to a new moon?" Ginny inquired.

WHAT ELSE?

Severus nodded. "Since we are now experiencing the full moon, we have two weeks until the new moon, September third to be exact. That is the earliest that the Great One can attempt the restoration."

"Then the children are safe until then at least," Ron said, sounding at least somewhat relieved.

"To an extent," Harry replied despondently. "They must remain alive and innocent until the new moon, but who know what tortures the animals that cage them will inflict. And Jamie…"

"They don't require her at all," Hermione cried, horrified at the thought.

"No," Harry said. "At this juncture we can only be thankful that all signs point to her currently being alive.

How is that?

Sam picked up Timmy's colouring book and after studying it a moment commented. "We can stop assuming some things," she said. "The Great One definitely has the children and we should stop referring to her as a he."

OMG OMG

Everyone looked at Sam questioningly as she passed the colouring book first to Hermione and then it started making the rounds of everyone present. On the open page of the book, someone had hastily drawn a stick figure. Apparently the drawing was of a woman because a triangle representing a dress was drawn over the tops of the legs. 'G1' was scrawled under the drawing.

OMG HOW CLEVER IS THAT OMG OMG

"It's not a lot of information," Draco declared, "but it's more than the Ministry has been able to ascertain in the last two years."

Again, why don´t they come to the conclusion that the Great One is in the Ministry herself?

"We also have a means to locate them," Harry said.

"Harry, if you're referring to Caitlin and my telepathic connection," Hermione interjected. "I have to be within twenty-five miles of her for that to work."

"That means we have to get you within that distance," Harry declared emphatically.

"But Harry," Ginny said, "Great Britain covers nearly 89,000 square miles and we can't even be sure they are still on the island."

"No we can't," Harry admitted, "But two years ago I sat helpless waiting wondering if the woman I loved would ever be returned to me. I'm not sitting idle again."

He looked questioningly at Hermione. "It will be worse than looking for that damn proverbial needle in a haystack," he said, "and all we can do is fly escort, you're the only one with the power to contact Caitlin."

Oh G-d.

What then follows are two long copy-paste flashbacks from the first fic of when she adopted Caitlin and then from the second fic where she gave birth to Ben.

"Hermione," Harry called, trying to bring her back to reality. "Are you all right?" Will you be up to that much flying?"

"Those bastards have ripped our hearts out. They've taken from us what is most precious, our children. It's not a question of whether I'm up to it; it's a question of how soon do we get started."

This is the first we ever see of Hermione actually doing something.

* * * * * *

In twenty-four hours, Jamie had gone from sleeping in a quite comfortable bed on a first class cruise ship, to sleeping on the chilly stone floor of what gave the appearance of being a dungeon torture chamber right out of the thirteen hundreds. Sleeping was perhaps not the correct term because she had in reality slept very little during the night.

But at least she wasnt forced to wear clothes, am I right?

They had all cuddled together to share their body warmth the previous evening. Jamie had lain on her side with Ben nestled snugly in her arms, Emily facing her in order to help shelter the infant. Caitlin had snuggled against Jamie's back and little Timmy had burrowed between Jamie and Emily, alternately using each girl as a pillow.

With the possible exception of Ben, no one slept contentedly; there was a great deal of tossing and turning. Then just when Jamie had finally drifted off to sleep, Ben awoke, hungry and demanding that his diaper be changed.

How inconvenient.

It was now a little past six in the morning, as Jamie appraised their prison while the others slept restlessly. She only knew the time because in the quietness of the early morning she had heard what sounded like a grandfather's clock in a nearby room solemnly chiming the hour.

How can she even hear that in a dungeon?

The dungeon seemed to be modelled after those used during the time of the Spanish Inquisition. It was damp and if not for the torches, would have been extremely dark. Torches are something originating in movies to give some light - real dungeons never used torches. Fortunately it did not seem to be vermin infested or extremely bad smelling as dungeons of that era often were; at least Jamie had not thus far observed any rats or cockroaches. She trusted that their meals would also be more than the mouldy bread and stale water normally served to prisoners of that time.

Although she had no way of being positive, Jamie suspected that they might be the only prisoners. She had been awake most of the night and had heard no cries or screams, or for that matter any sounds at all, echoing throughout the dungeon walls.

Considering that this is Hogwarts Exposed, maybe it is a good thing that they are the only prisoners here.

"Wake up!" Madam Hooch screamed as she entered the chamber, Crabbe and Goyle on her heels. Hooch tossed a bag in Jamie's direction. "Crabbe purchased formula and baby bottles."

"You get two meals a day," she shouted as the kids yawned and stretched. "This isn't Hogwarts, eat what you're served without complaint or starve. It's your choice." She waved her wand and four plates and tumblers appeared on the floor.

"Where do we sit to eat?" Timmy asked innocently.

"On your arse," Goyle replied crudely.

I´M SO BRITISH LOOK AT ME

Caitlin and Emily both gave Goyle looks of loathing as they squatted Indian style on the floor, Emily demonstrating to Timmy how to sit the same way. Jamie looked about for somewhere she could lay down the still sleeping Ben. She stared beseechingly at Hooch, fearing that she would eat her nipples.

"We were all extremely cold and uncomfortable last night," she said. "If you insist that my sisters and I catch pneumonia, so be it, but couldn't you at least give us blankets for Timmy and the baby. I can't lay Ben down on a chilly damp stone floor."

Hooch looked at Jamie as if she were asking for the moon and then gave a sigh of total antipathy. She drew her wand and pointed it at the floor where a tiny padded infant mattress appeared. "For the infant only," she declared. "Damien or the Great One will have to approve anything additional."

I love how Emma Wrong hasnt revealed herself to the Sues yet.

"Thank you," Jamie said, but her words of appreciation went ignored. After putting down the sleeping baby she seated herself next to Emily, adopting the same Indian style position the girls and Timmy had taken.

Goyle was carrying a large bowl from which he scooped what appeared to be gooey scrambled eggs, and flopped some on each of their plates. Crabbe, using his grimy bare hands, tossed a sausage patty and a piece of toast on each plate. Hooch placed a pitcher of some putrid looking juice on the floor and then the three turned to leave.

"You forgot to give us eating utensils," Emily said as if to remind them.

Crabbe, turned, held his hand in the air and wiggled his fingers. Then without a word he followed Hooch and Goyle out of the room and slammed the door.

"Somehow I don't think losing the weight I gained on the cruise is going to be a problem," Emily said, looking nauseated at her plate.

"That's an understatement," Caitlin said, taking a tiny bite from her cold rubbery sausage.

"I don't like this," Timmy said pushing his plate away. "I want to go home. I want my Mummy." The toddler started crying.

Jamie got to her feet and picked up the little boy, hugging him to her chest as she stroked his back. "Timmy, we all want to go home," she said, searching for words that he would understand to describe their situation.

As if this would help anything.

"These are bad people. They've hidden us away from the ones we love. I'm sure that right now your Mummy and Daddy are looking for us along with Harry and Hermione. It's just a matter of time until they find us," she said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "When they do, these terrible people will be punished. But until they get here we have to all be very good and do everything we are told to or they will hurt us. Do you remember what the evil woman did to Emily and Caitlin last night?"

Timmy nodded his head timidly.

Which is why its so weird that he was looking forward to go on a nudist trip.

"You don't want them to be hurt again, do you?"

Timmy shook his head.

"Then you have to be big brave boy. In order to do that you have to be strong, and in order to be strong you must eat. They want us all to become weak; that's why they gave us such horrible food. They think we won't eat it. We'll show them, won't we? We'll be big and strong and make your Mummy and Daddy proud of us."

Timmy nodded his head. "Timmy be big and brave like Daddy."

"Let's have a contest and see which of us can do the best job emptying their plate," Jamie suggested.

As Timmy and Jamie started nibbling at the bland food, Ben began to stir. Jamie looked worriedly in his direction. This feeding would finish the last of Hermione's breast milk. What would Jamie do if Ben refused to drink the Muggle formula?

I honestly hate what this is foreshadowing.

* * * * * *

"Timmy, please stay away from those devices," Jamie implored. "Some of them are sharp and look exceedingly dangerous."

I love how these don´t ever get a real description.

"But I'm bored," Timmy complained. "There's nothing to do here."

"He's just being inquisitive," said the voice of a man who had one way or another, entered the chamber without Jamie's knowledge.

He stared admiringly at Jamie for a few moments and than said, shaking his head, "The resemblance is uncanny. They told me you looked like her, but …"

We get it, Jamie looks like Hermione with giant tits, this is getting old -_-

Jamie shivered as the man stepped before her. Her heartbeat increased and her body became hot and clammy as she felt him violate her with his eyes. He moved closer and she shivered as he stepped into the light before her. His face was sallow and covered in acne. His eyes were gray, but the parts that should be white were a very sickly looking yellow. Involuntarily, she shuddered as he stared at her silently. He took a few steps forward and was now so close that she could feel his breath on her neck. She cringed, but held her ground; determined to not show fear. Besides, where did she have to run?

It is rare that we get so much description of a character in the Saga.

With that said, take a look at Emma Wrong, the Big Bad of the Saga, wrecking terror and havoc in both the Wizard as well as the Muggle World, hellbent on resurrecting Salazar Slytherin - it is now the third fic and WE STILL DIDNT GET ONE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.

"My name is Damien," he said, as if this should have some meaning to Jamie.

"Leave my sister alone," Caitlin yelled.

"Yeah, back off pimple puss," Emily shouted.

Damien seemed to ignore the outbursts of the younger girls as he moved even closer to Jamie, his large, oily nose now mere centimetres from her own. He leaned closer as if intending to kiss her, but instead whispered in her ear.

"Your sisters love you and appear prepared to leap to your defence," he said softly, yet in a cold manner, so that only Jamie could hear. "I like that. Since they are so brave, if you fight or resist me in even the slightest way, I'll allow them to pay the consequences."

Right now I have the feeling as though Neil is living out his fantasies through Damien.

He reached out his hand and caressed Jamie's cheek with his short rough fingers; slowly he moved them to touch her lips, before descending down her neck to her ample chest. Jamie closed her eyes and bit her lip as his fingers played briefly with her nipple, fearing he would devour it like Madam Hooch would do.

Then without warning, he grabbed her between the legs and prodded her roughly with his fingers. Jamie jerked in response, tears coming to her eyes, but she made no effort to stop his invasion. Damien moved away from her, a look of disappointment on his face.

I wonder why Caitlin isnt using this opportunity to make his head explode.

"You're no Hermione," he said, looking at Jamie with disenchantment. "You may have her looks, but you lack her tenacity. At the very least she would have spat in my face."

Damien turned his back on Jamie, as if their encounter had not even transpired, and addressed Timmy. "Would you like me to show you around?" he asked. "Your friends can join us."

Timmy nodded his head, eager for anything to do, and motioned for Emily and Caitlin to join him. Jamie just watched anxiously. Clearly this was where Hermione had been held captive when she was kidnapped two years ago. The memories of that time span still eluded Hermione. Could Damien have been her jailer? Was he the one that smashed the bones in her fingers? Considering that Madam Hooch had already told them that Hermione had been here, who else would it be? What else had he done? Had he possibly raped her?

Damien seemed to be enjoying giving the tour; it was as if he were sharing the results of a wonderful hobby. Emily and Caitlin walked apprehensively with Damien as he pointed out and explained the various implements to Timmy. Fortunately, Timmy was too young to appreciate most of Damien's enlightenment, but from the horrified looks on Caitlin and Emily's faces, they had understood his explanations, all too well.

After he had shown them such devices as The Rack, The Ducking Stool and the Wheel, Damien showed them The Cage. The Cage was rather simple. It consisted of an iron band that encircled the waist at the hips. From this band two additional iron bands were connected at either side in the front. These bands crossed at the chest and then bent over the shoulders again crossing in the back before connecting to the waistband. Wrist cuffs were attached to both sides and a hinged iron band went between the legs and closed at the back. Attachments for chains at the shoulders secured the prisoner to the wall.

I have a feeling that the Suethor gets turned on by all that.

After finishing explaining the finer points of the cage, Damien called to Jamie. "This was Professor Granger's home while she was with us. Would you like to try it on?"

Jamie didn't answer, but instead walked over and picked up Ben, who was stirring restlessly. Soon she would know whether or not he would drink the formula. As Jamie held Ben in her arms, Damien picked up the first of many tools lying on a shelf.

"Step closer to me," he said to Caitlin. "I want to show you how this works. I won't hurt you, at least not at the moment."

He picked up an iron four-pronged implement. "This is called a Breast Ripper," he said, pressing the instrument firmly against Caitlin's chest. "It was often used on women convicted of heresy or adultery. Depending on the mood of the torturer, the device would either be frozen or heated to increase the pain."

Oh G-d -_-

Neil is clearly turned on by all this.

Damien snickered as he removed the tool from Caitlin's breast. "It works better on something a bit larger. If you'd like a demonstration perhaps Jamie would be willingly to assist me." He laughed as if the idea of mutilating Jamie's breasts was amusing."

The " seems to indicate that he said this aloud about himself in the 3rd person.

How many betas were there again?

At that moment Ben began bawling and Jamie hurried to get him a bottle of formula. "Perhaps later," Damien said, sounding extremely let down. "She seems to be busy at the moment."

Is Neil trying to be funny here?

He returned the apparatus to the shelf and was about to pick up the thumbscrews when Timmy yelled, "What is that fancy looking thing?"

Damien patted the boy on the back. "That is one of my favourites," he said smiling wickedly at Timmy. "That is called a Pear."

"Like the fruit?" Timmy asked innocently.

"Yes," Damien said, again patting Timmy on the back.

-______-

Jamie listened nervously to Damien chatting to Timmy and the girls as she fed Ben. At least Ben was drinking his bottle.

"How does it work?" Timmy asked excitedly.

"It is forced into the mouth, rectum or vagina of the victim and there expanded by force of the screw to the maximum aperture of the segments," Damien answered. "The inside of the cavity in question is irremediably mutilated, nearly always fatally so. The pointed prongs at the end of the segments serve better to rip into the throat, the intestines or the cervix."

It is generally rare that this much is described here.

I hate it.

Timmy looked at him uncertainly, not quite understanding, but beginning to realise that these were not pleasant devices.

"How would you like that thrust into your little twat?" Damien asked Emily, maliciously.

"I'd much prefer to see it shoved up your scrawny arse," Emily retorted.

YASSS QUEEEEN SLAAAAY

"You have spirit," Damien said, gazing with pleasure at Emily. "It's a shame that I've been ordered not to damage any of you. I think I could have fun with you."

"Go fuck yourself!" Emily shouted, as she attempted to drive her knee in between Damien's legs. She missed her target and Damien sent her sailing across the room where she landed near an eight-foot tall pyramid shaped object.

Oh....that one....

"Leave her alone," Jamie yelled, running to her sister's side.

"You keep out of this, bitch, and tend to that infant or you'll be the first person to test my Pyramid of Death."

Jamie didn't have the opportunity to comment, because Ben chose that moment to vomit and then proceeded to cry hysterically.

"Shut that spoiled brat up," Damien commanded. "You do understand that little horror is the only reason you're alive, don't you?"

"Enough of this tour," Damien said, growing bored and turning as if to leave the chamber.

"But sir! What is the Pyramid of Death?" Timmy questioned.

Holy shit is this creepy!

"I like you, little one," Damien said, sounding sincere. "It is a misfortune you must die so young." He pointed to the tall pyramid in the middle of the room. "That is the Pyramid of Death. It is my own creation, bringing together the virtues of the Judas Cradle and Impalement."

Timmy, Emily and Caitlin all stared at the pyramid uncertainly, waiting for a further explanation.

"With the Judas Cradle, the victim was hung in the air by various ropes and dropped onto a point, thus completely destroying the genital area," Damien explained. "Impalement was the process of inserting a steak or post through the entire body of the victim, starting at the seat of the body and exiting through the mouth or throat."

Neil is clearly turned on by this o.O

Damien beamed in delight as he gave details on his creation. "The point and edges of the Pyramid of Death are razor sharp. The victim is tied and hung in the air over the pyramid in such a way that the arms and legs are in the air and the anus is barely touching the point. When the rope is released, theoretically the weight of the body will cause it to be cut in four pieces with the point of the pyramid coming out through the center of the scull."

Is this even possible?

Because googling "Pyramid of death" only gave me results from antisemitic conspiracy theories.

Caitlin threw up as she visualized such an atrocity. Timmy started to cry.

"You're mental," Emily shouted. "No one in their right mind could do something like that to another human being."

Damien backhanded Emily so hard that she fell to the floor. "I'll show you mental," he said. Damien looked coldly toward Jamie. "Hopefully they will all have the opportunity to see you meet that fate before they die." Without another word, he exited the dungeon.

"I'm scared," Timmy wailed. "I want my Mummy."

Emily lifted Timmy into her arms and tried to calm him.

"Jamie, what are we going to do?" Caitlin asked, their situation seeming hopeless.

"I don't know," Jamie sobbed as Ben sucked frantically on her nipple, trying to get nonexistent nourishment.

I hate what this is foreshadowing -__-

"Jamie, are we all going to die? Timmy asked between his sobs.

Jamie didn't answer. She just held Ben tightly as tears streamed down her face.

End of Chapter Seven

So, you noticed something?

The description. It is rare that something gets so much description, the last time we got so much description was when....Hermione got tortured in her captivity.

It´s very clear that Neil is turned on by this.

That was it for today.

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