#also I have never seen a show using Alice through the looking glass correctly

[constanthinople]

Curious Cat is the worst name an equivalent of the Cheshire Cat has ever had oh my god.

[mimiatmidnight]

Predictions on Baby Girl Sussex?

I’m FREEEEEEEE from finals and ready to chat with you all once again! Thank you all for being so patient, I’m so excited to dive into all your questions and give them the novel-length responses they deserve 😉

I’m assuming you mean name predictions haha, cause the only other thing I can think of to predict would be her birthday (for the record, I’ll go ahead and put my sister’s birthday, June 10th, for no reason other than I predicted my own birthday, April 26th, for Archie!). But I love talking about baby names (as you can see by the length of this post 😅), so let’s get into it.

So I fully expect to be completely taken aback by their pick. Like not even on the same planet as my predictions. Cause that’s just how those two roll lmao. But IF they’re staying in the same theme as Archie’s name, I’m expecting something that’s also short, possibly nickname-y, kind of dusty and vintage, but with a whimsical charm, just like Archie’s. I am still operating with the assumption that she will one day be Princess (whether or not that actually happens, of course, remains to be seen), so I’m trying to keep that title in mind. And also, given that name meanings appear to hold significance to them, I tried to at least somewhat keep meanings in mind. So, in no particular order:

Eloise

“Healthy; wide”

French, English

I am SO charmed by this name. If I hadn’t already decided on Elliott for my future son’s name, this name would be right at the top of my future daughter’s list. I just thinks it’s so delightfully playful yet still timeless and classic. It gives easy and pretty nicknames with Ellie and Ella, or even Lizzy (possibly to honor her great-grandmother?). “Archie and Eloise” sounds so perfect and natural to me, without sounding kitschy or too over the top with the matching. “Princess Eloise” is so deliciously perfect, it just fits together like a puzzle piece.

Eleanor

Unknown meaning

English, French

Eleanor hits almost all the same beats I mentioned above for Eloise, even down to the lovely Ellie/Ella nicknames. It’s even more royal than Eloise, with such heady associations as the legendary Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine (not to mention the American Queen, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt!). Eloise is closer to my heart, but I’d be thrilled with Eleanor as well.

Greta

“Pearl”; diminutive of Margaret

German

This one’s quite old-fashioned, but I think it’s so charming and would make an adorable name on a little girl. And fun fact, the name Meghan comes from a nickname for Margaret, which is why both those names as well as Greta all mean “Pearl.” So this would be a perfect way to honor little girl’s mama in a more subtle way.

Poppy

“Red flower”

Latin, English

Spunky yet sweet. Pays tribute to her mother’s homeland of California, while also sounding very at home in her father’s homeland of the UK. A flower name in honor of her mama’s own mama. This scarlet name would be even more perfect if the Ginger Avenger manages to make himself another little Gingette. And as I said to one of my anons the other day, “Princess Poppy” is so screeching cute I might actually combust if I think about it too much, so let’s move on.

Lea

“Meadow; weary”

English

To be totally honest, this one is mostly just because I’ve been addicted to listening to “Lea” by TOTO on repeat lately. Although “Princess Lea” might be a bit too . . . you know. Stor Wors. Even though the sci-fi princess pronounces her name differently, I think they’ll probably still want to avoid that association. Still, that song is heavenly and the name goes with all my criteria so I’m putting it in anyways.

Hazel

“Hazelnut tree”

English

Another nature name, one that I’m sure our favorite Earth Mama will enjoy ;) It’s newly popular, but in my opinion still retains that distinctive and whimsical uniqueness of a name that’s much further on the fringe than Hazel actually is. I can just picture a little hazel-eyed princess running barefoot around her gorgeous backyard, wild hair all spread out as she lays underneath a hazelnut tree. Ugh, so cute.

Etta

“Estate ruler”; feminine diminutive of Henry

English, Scottish

I suppose in response to Archie’s middle name Harrison, I’ve seen some Squaddies predict Henrietta for his little sister. And um . . . that is not a favorite of mine 😅 But if Harry wants to add his brand to his second little munchkin as well, why not Henrietta’s much more sleek and dynamic offshoot, Etta? It's got that old school feel, with also a spark of liveliness. I also love that it ties to their Black ancestry through one of the most legendary Queens of American Soul Music, Etta James.

Maeve

“She who intoxicates”

Irish

Incredibly endearing with a rich history. For my own personal use, this safer option might actually be called upon for my future daughter if I never manage to work up the courage to use my actual long-time Irish favorite, Saoirse. But for Harry and Meghan, I can’t really see them using this one. Still, I felt like I needed an M name to cover all my bases, and this is one of the few that I like. Some other honorable “M”entions (get it?) include Maisie, Melody, and Madeleine (thank you to my lovely anon for this one!).

Francesca

“From France; free man”; variation of Frances

Italian

I haven’t really mentioned middle names here, mostly because this post is long enough already and middle name combos just add a whole other level of crazy. But given the enormous legacy of her grandmother, I am extremely torn on whether Baby Girl will be getting a name in her honor. If her parents so choose, Diana’s middle name Frances, or even it’s more ornately feminine variation, Francesca, would be lovely honors for the little princess to carry. If they do end up honoring Diana, I’d expect it to be in Baby Girl’s middle name.

Violet

“Purple”

Latin, English

One last flower name for Earth Mama Meghan. Violet was my top pick for Archie when he was still the mysterious Baby Sussex, but though it has since fallen from my top spot, it still is a lovely, classic name of inarguable feminine grace, yet with an underlying core of strength and fortitude. I feel like Violet is a woman who ties her hair back with a soft velvet bow, but then hitches up her skirts, draws her sword, and shows the battlefield who’s boss. I just love the duality of this name, and I think it would be a lovely gift for a little girl.

Alice

“Noble”

German

Vintage, classic, girly, and solidly royal, this name calls to mind white rabbits and looking glasses. Once again, on a personal note, this might be an option for my future daughter if I chicken out on trying to get everyone to pronounce Alicia correctly. I love that name in the Spanish pronunciation, “Ah-lee-see-ah,” but I find the Anglicized “Ah-lee-sha” to be dreadful and I wouldn’t want to burden my girl with a lifetime of corrections. Anyways, Alice is just as elegant, if not quite as ornate, and in any case is much more likely for our British-American princess. Plus, what a stunning pair of name meanings to gift these two siblings: “Brave” Archie and “Noble” Alice. They sound straight out of an Arthurian legend. (Plus, how cute would “Archie and Alice” sound!)

Honorable Mentions Cause I Need To Wrap This Shit Up:

Evie/Edie (both follow all the E names I wrote about above, and Edie in particular is a modern name full of moxie that would be a great nickname for the older, traditional Edith)

Lily (yet another flower name, and I just like the sound of this one)

Spencer (another possible route to honoring Granny Diana, yet maintaining a much more modern and spunky taste than Frances, while also being less direct)

Clara (of Nutcracker fame, adding here mostly because I think I’d melt if I heard this in Harry’s voice and accent)

Lucy (same vibes as Alice and Clara)

Ivy (cute, simple, girly nature name, but unfortunately already in use by the daughter of Meghan’s close friend Jessica Mulroney)

Zoe (I have absolutely no personal connection to this name, but for some reason it just now randomly popped into my head as something they might choose, so here ya go)

So yeah! Sorry this was so long, but it was super fun! Thank you for sending in this great question. I’d love to hear all your guys’ name predictions, dream picks, and wild card guesses!

[nazghoulz]

The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020)   — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely  👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003)  — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001)  — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.  

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006)  — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010)  — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19.  Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007)  — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely  👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004)  — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that  mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10 

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy  — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

[shirtlesssammy]

13x08: The Scorpion and the Frog

Then: 

A bunch of stuff happened. This is just a pretty picture of Dean. You’re welcome.

Now:

Cambridge, England

7:45 on a Friday

A dodgy acting woman enters a museum and proceeds to make her way to a vault in the basement.

She tries entering a room with a passcode, but doesn’t seem to have the right code, so she goes in the old fashioned way --busting it open. Man, pilates really does work. She grabs what she came for, but not before getting caught by a security guard. It appears our thief is a demon and she smokes out to possess the guard.

Once outside, if the smoke possession didn’t convince us hijinks were in action, the strategic light across the eyes and billowing night fog should really tip us off. Another dodgy demon meets the security guard and takes the mysterious documents. The security guard wonders how Asmodeus will reward them --with an angel blade to the heart, my friend. Then demon #2, let’s call him Barthamus, calls Dean! On speed dial.

At the bunker, stressed-out Dean is over cleaning his gun, when Sam walks into the kitchen. Sam’s got no news on Ketch, no news on Jack, and -get this- is the one talking to Cas. I love the speculations out there that say Asmodeus has to talk to Sam because Dean would know in a second.

Anyway, Dean gets his call from Barthamus, where Bart indicates he has info on Jack. They should meet him at Smile Diner.

On the way to the diner, Dean clarifies his stance on the meeting. “You know, after Crowley, I told myself no more demons.” Lololol, this is a gem of a statement. Yes Dean, we know you had your Summer of Love with Crowley, and that you did extraordinary things to triplets together. Let those demons go.

Once at the diner, Bart tries kissing up to the brothers by offering Dean pie and calling Sam the smart one.

He also has a spell to track Jack. He tells them he’ll be in touch and takes off. Dean eats the pie. Sam does research, and finds out the spell checks out. Dean’s reluctant, but Sam convinces him to work with Bart.

They meet up with Bart and his associates, Smash -a safecracker extraordinaire- and Grab-a demon who can bypass supernatural security.

“What is this, a heist? Hold up...is this a heist?” Yep.

Their target is Luther Shrike, a collector of supernatural objects, who has a trunk of Bart’s. Bart would get it himself, but he needs the blood of someone who’s been to Hell and back: Dean. At first I was confused since both brothers have been to hell and back, but a nice Twitter exchange with Meredith Glynn, the writer for this episode, makes it clear why it had to be Dean.

Bart makes it clear to the brothers that if they don’t take his deal, he’ll contact Asmodeus. The brothers take the deal. Shrike will never see them coming!

Shrike, getting a visit from one of Asmodeus’s minions, sees them coming.

The night of the great heist, Sam pulls up to Shrike’s house in the Impala (Dean and Smash hidden in the backseat). Uh, way to go undercover dudes? Don’t tell me the Impala isn’t instantly recognizable by anyone related to the supernatural.

Dean and Smash head their separate way from Sam, who heads to the main house to talk with Shrike.

While working on a Grab summoning spell, Dean and Smash bond over Jolt Nerve Damage.  It’s like she’s the little sister he never wanted. Once Grab arrives, he tells Dean that the vault is cloaked, but Dean is a vault compass, and with a simple spell his arm is leading the way.

Back inside, Shrike pours Sam a glass of homemade gin while they talk over his collection. Judging by Sam’s face it’s DELISH. He shows Sam his prized “fang of basilisk.” Sam picks it up… Great. Yes. Get your finger oils all over priceless artifacts, Sam. Though Sam correctly identifies it as a gorgon tooth...so I’ll overlook it. So will Shrike, as it turns out. He asks to see what Sam brought from his family collection. Sam opens the box and OH MY GOD it’s Ruby’s blade. I mean. Maybe this is less precious in a world full of angel blades but DUDE. The stakes are suddenly raised.

Meanwhile, Dean is still trapped in the comic relief portion of the evening, walking around with his dowsing-rod-arm leading the way to the vault.

They find the vault hidden in a cellar and after some cajoling, Dean leads Smash down to find the safe. First they’ve got to get through the blood-hungry door.

Up in the house, Sam starts to wrap up the deal with Shrike. Clearly nervous because he’s been far less of a distraction than he’d hoped to be, Sam agrees to whatever the terms of payment he can get. Shrike pulls out a big stack of money, then says, “We both know you’re not really here for this.” Sam tries to play dumb and Shrike picks up the demon killing knife and attacks Sam. The knife gets knocked away YES but Shrike picks up a shotgun NO. Sam knifes Shrike but it does nothing. “As long as I’m on my property I can’t die.” He picks up the fossilized gorgon tooth and knocks Sam out.

Back with adorable comic-relief-Dean, he faces down the Most Perilous Peril. He’s got to stick his hand in the stone mouth on the door. His hand gets pinned by some seriously cool machinery and Dean gets his blood sugar test done, satisfying the door that he’s human.

Wounded only by a finger prick and the scorn of a young woman, Dean leads the way inside the vault.

Inside is an Indiana Jones level booby trapped hall with trigger plates set into the floor that set off poisonous darts. (I’m just going to sit for a minute and picture Wanek’s face when he got the script.) Dean Bean being the bestest in all the land sees the dart fly in slow motion towards Smash. He pulls her back just in time.

So this turns out to be a little hitch and they pause to ponder the problem. Grab shouts down to the clubhouse to check on their progress, when Shrike sneaks up on him and kills him with the demon blade. There goes one chess piece. Shrike surprises them in the vault and Smash knees him and races past him to the door. Nicely done, lady! Good survival skills, there. Dean Bean’s left alone with Shrike. “Awesome.”

Señor Sweatervest confronts Dean and it’s a regular gun v. knife-wielding-immortal fight, Dean firing fruitlessly into his chest until Sam interrupts. (Interrupting Sam to the rescue!) Sam drops that Shrike’s immortal and Dean punches his lights out. “Good thing he’s got a glass jaw,” Dean says. RIGHT???? <3

After the commercial break we cut back to the Winchesters and Shrike. They’ve tied him to a post and ordered him to help them...and then they’ll let him go. Shrike’s not willing to help them crack the riddle.

Smash (aka Alice) races for the gate where Bart’s waiting. She begs to do another job - any other job - rather than go back and face certain death in the vault. He’s unwilling to renegotiate her deal, however. Aw, she made a deal with the King of the Crossroads. :(

Back at the vault the Winchesters scratch their heads over the puzzle. Dean proposes just...flying by the seat of their pants. Sam’s shocked. SHOCKED.

“These aren’t like the lasers in Entrapment,” Sam protests. Hmmm. HMMM.

“Did you just say Entrapment?” Dean asks, glad to catch Sam enjoying pop culture like the rest of us. Sam hatches an idea.

They load up Shrike in a cart and push him right through the middle of his booby trapped hall. He makes the whole run and soaks up all the poisoned darts. Good job, kids. Sam and Dean ponder the safe when Smash shows up. She’s ready to finish the job and stay alive and outta Hell. She pulls out a stethoscope and cracks the safe in less than a minute. 

The Winchesters grab the trunk and head out the door where they discover that Shrike’s gone missing. “Who cares? Let’s blow this pop stand.” They load up the Impala and head for the hills. On the road they’re confronted by Shrike in a anger-red pickup. Dean does some fancy reverse driving while Sam shoots out the tires.

Shrike tells them they’re working for pure evil and they learn his story. Shrike sold his soul to save his son but his son died from an accident a few years later. When the hounds came to collect, he made a new deal. He’d located Bart’s bones and threatened to burn them if the hounds ever came for him again. “You’re on the wrong side,” he tells them and before we can fall into too much introspection a machete slices Shrike’s head clean off. It’s Bart! Man, he’s good at sneaking up on people.

“You never should have left the house,” Bart tells a now quite dead Shrike.

Bart pays Alice then pulls out the second half of the spell for the Winchesters. Sam and Dean decide to renege on the deal...and Bart grabs Alice. He threatens to snap her neck before he goes up in flames. Reluctantly they hand over the trunk to Bart. Bart sends Alice to pick up his trunk and she apologizes to them.

“You gotta take care of you, right?” Dean asks, his EYES TELLING A WHOLE OTHER STORY. There’s a lighter in the bones… Alice understands Dean’s woo woo mystical eye language and lights the bones on fire. Alice is saved but the spell goes up with Bart (no thanks to Sam’s roundly mocked fire-putting-out skills).

Cut to a bus station. Alice thanks the Winchesters, tells them she’ll see them around, and heads for the bus. “Hey Alice,” Dean says. “Stay weird.” <3 <3 <3

Back at the bunker the Winchesters debrief and decompress. Dean’s looking on the positive side of life these days and consoles Sam. They saved someone, they’ll figure out another way to find Jack, and the world will keep on truckin’.

En-Quote-Ment:

Hell Street, Hell Avenue, just Hell really.

“The famous Winchesters!” “Some random demon.”

You’re a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo.

Twinsies.

I’ve seen this movie a thousand times.

Hey Winona. Nineties called. They want their shoes back.

This is all on you, hand puppet.

There was supposed to be a safe and not some dollar store Indiana Jones crap.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[sailorrrvenus]

Taking Macro Photography into 3D

Macro photography has always been a passion of mine, and exploring the universe at our feet can be almost magical. As beautiful as this genre of photography is, it really comes to life when you literally add an extra dimension to it. If you’ve never attempted to see a stereo 3D image before, you’re about to go down the rabbit hole.

Sadly, 3D photography is underappreciated because there is no “easy” way to see the results. You’ll need to cross your eyes, used a special viewer or VR headset, anaglyph glasses (those red/blue ones) or load an MPO file onto a 3D TV. Without running off to get special hardware, lets’ try and cross our eyes to see these images in 3D:

The goal is to cross your eyes just enough so that you see three images (too far and you’d see four). The middle image is going to appear in 3D, as you’ll be overlaying the two photographs and mentally creating the depth. Once you have it lined up, continually try to focus on the center image and it’ll “snap” into perfect focus.

At this point, you can let your eyes wander around the image freely. It can take multiple attempts, but it’s definitely worth the effort. Don’t let the image take up too much of your field of view, however, as it would require you to cross your eyes to an uncomfortable degree. A more in-depth tutorial on this viewing technique can be found here.

If you can’t cross your eyes, don’t worry. There are different ways to see 3D:

Side-by-Side might look the same as the displayed images but the order is reversed to be viewed in a stereoscope or VR headset (you can load your phone into Google Cardboard and see this version correctly)

Anaglyph is for those of you with a pair of red/blue glasses hanging around

MPO is the file format recognized by 3D TVs. Load the image onto a USB stick, put it into your TV, grab your 3D glasses, and voila.

Creating these images can be easier than you think. There are a number of techniques that don’t require much additional hardware. If you have a focusing rail for macro photography, you’re set. Instead of the normal orientation for focus stacking, mount the camera that it will move horizontally to the subject. Shifting the camera from one position to another will give you a 3D effect when properly processed and viewed.

How much do you move the camera? Experiment! The greater the distance the greater the depth effect, so long as your subject stays within the frame. The above image was taken with a Lumix GX9 and Leica 45mm f/2.8 macro lens using this technique.

If you want a ready-made solution and are a Micro Four Thirds shooter, Panasonic produced (now discontinued but widely available on eBay) a 12.5mm f/12 3D lens for their cameras. It’s not great at photographing human-scale subjects because the lenses are so close together and the depth isn’t dramatic, but the lens can be easily modified by placing washers between the lens body and lens mount screws to act like an extension tube.

In fact, you can find lenses already modified for sale on eBay. This shifts the lens into a macro lens where the smaller separation is more applicable. This lens is capable of images like the following:

My personal favorite tool for 3D macro is a series of lenses produced by de Wijs apparatenbouw, a company in The Netherlands that produced a variety of them from 1994 through 2007 at different magnifications and for different sensor sizes. They are currently discontinued and sold out, though they periodically show up on eBay which is where I purchased most of my collection. The company produces other 3D equipment, and I’ve been trying to convince them to crowd-fund another production run of lenses.

These lenses can be tricky to use because of their rather small fixed apertures – I almost always use flash with these lenses. Even if they could be designed with wider apertures, 3D works best when you can see detail from front to back, letting your eyes wander around the frame and finding points of interest. Composition is different than 2D work, as visually interesting things usually have stronger depth, like this freezing soap bubble on a flower:

These images are all processed for proper alignment and framing in a free piece of software called Stereo Photo Maker that is still actively maintained with the latest beta released a month ago. Under the “Adjust” menu, auto alignment usually does an exceptional job at setting things up, and “easy adjustment” can help you fine tune the stereo window. The hardest part for me was understanding exactly what the “stereo window” is and how to define it properly.

It’s best to avoid something on the edge of one frame that is missing entirely from the frame associated with the other eye. This creates a ghosting effect that pulls you out of the 3D experience because that object is only visible to one eye. A proper “stereo window” tries to minimize these as much as possible. It’s not always possible to get it perfect, but trying to align the image such that the left and right details of the composition is what the “easy adjustment” tool is for. The software can then save in any 3D format.

I try to get creative with my subjects, like the above image of frost growing on an orchid. In 2D it looks like cluttered nonsense, but when viewed in 3D all of the structure and shape become visible and clearly defined. The depth of a 3D image should pull you in and make the viewing experience much more immersive, and it’s much easier to feel like Alice in Wonderland when the images are created on a macro scale.

I believe we’re on the verge of a revival of the format with new technologies that allow for 3D content to be seen without tricks like the RED Hydrogen smartphone. Having used a Hydrogen as my daily smartphone for over a month now, I’m eager to see this technology catch on and continue to evolve. While there isn’t yet software available for me to convert my existing 3D imagery into the RED “H4V” format, I am certain it’s coming.

Hydrogen could finally be the push to bring 3D content to the masses, but at the very least I can have fun making people cross their eyes.

About the author: Don Komarechka is a nature and macro photographer who specializes in snowflakes. He has published a book, Sky Crystals, which details the wonderful science of snow in addition to an exhaustive photographic tutorial from equipment through settings, techniques and post processing. His work on the subject has been featured in documentary films from CBC, BBC, and National Geographic as well as on limited edition Canadian currency. Komarechka hosts the podcast Photo Geek Weekly. You can also find more of his work on Facebook and Flickr.

source https://petapixel.com/2018/10/25/taking-macro-photography-into-3d/

[canyouhearthechurchbellsringing]

#48: HOLY HELL I FORGOT BEN HAD A YOUTUBE

03/19/17

Please refer to the title for the opening line. I am a moron. My mind’s been pulled in so many directions I forgot about the YouTube links in entry #24 completely. I don’t even blame Darek for that; it was my own oversight.

Ben has been quite active, shall we say, in my ignorance… what follows is an analysis of every video uploaded to the Ben Fiinix YouTube channel.

First Video: There is a distinct cut during the video in which Ben loses his alcohol and glasses. I suspect Mark may have done something here. Forest imagery is heavily present in all videos and may imply significance to that forest path in Ben’s neighborhood.

Additionally, several numbers are present in the title. Some refer to the filming date (and possibly time?) but there are certainly extra numbers in the string that have no apparent value. If Darek has taught me anything it is that accidents are rare when dealing with the Figments. Those numbers must mean something.

Second video: The numbers in the title recur here. I think the person writing the titles and descriptions is Mark. It makes the most sense. Chameleon and Zanark have a distinct communication style so that rules them out. Mark can control Ben like Darek controls me. Therefore he is most likely responsible for uploading the vlogs.

This entry details some irrelevant things like Ben taking up smoking again. I don’t blame him; he clearly is heavily stressed even over a year ago. He brings up a security app as a method of catching his hacker. It obviously is never brought up again as he can not technically call Mark a typical hacker. There is also an image of Veronika with a hooded figure cut into the entry. Could it be Mark?

Monaco: This is a video of Ben claiming he does not want to bad-mouth me and then proceeding to talk shit. I mean, he isn’t dishonest in a lot of what he says, just subjective. Despite the schism between us I still see the old friend I grew to trust like a brother. I hope one day we can reconcile our differences.

Here is another interesting tidbit about this video. The song that starts playing at the end is called Anna. Did Mark do that for me to see specifically?

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PHONE YOU COCKBITES: Here we see Ben’s outraged side in its natural habitat. There is a lot going on in this video that deeply troubles me and I wish I had seen it sooner. It was uploaded on Alice’s birthday. It was precluded by a video shown in between cuts that directly involves Alice. Most of the videos contain messages hidden within them for Ben to find, it seems, but I am also seeing things that clearly involve me. I do not know if Mark is the one leaving those clues, like the song in the last video and the message in this one. At this point in time(late March), it seems Chameleon had influence over Mark and used Ben to fuck with my head. I don’t like it. I’m even more uneasy about the future now.

There’s also a reference made here to Mammoth being victimized by ADDICT. I made some notes back in entry #11 about how I suspected based on Facebook evidence that ADDICT may have long ago completely coinhabited Mammoth’s mind. The two really are indistinguishable personality-wise.

Envelope: This video contains footage of a hooded figure, obviously Mark, placing the envelope for Ben to find. This presumably occurred during the strange camera cut before Ben was panicked running down the street. It reinforces the theory that the hooded figure beside Casey/Veronika was Mark in the second video.

There’s a lot going on with the coded messages in this video. As far as the ¾ code, I will save my in-depth thoughts for a later video. I have a pretty strong lead with evidence gathered and want to pursue it more before commenting on my thoughts. I will however say that the party in the pictures occurred when Casey and I were together, but the pictures show her with Ben specifically. This may strengthen the Mark-Veronika relationship hypothesis.

I also do not think the capitalization code was necessarily deciphered correctly. It could be “Ben, remember what was” or it could be “remember what was, Ben.” Semantics, I know, but there is one more possibility. “Remember what Ben was.” Could Mark be a version of Ben akin to a former self? It is a thought-provoking possibility regarding the general relationship between Figments and hosts.

Rememberance[sic]: Casey’s death really seemed to hurt Ben like it hurt the rest of us. I guess this is what made him hate me so much. He blames me for her death, and I can’t fault him for that. I blame myself as well. Actually I blame Darek, but Ben doesn’t believe in him.

Anyway, most of this is a drunken reminiscence and Ben dancing around the fact that he had feelings for Casey. That’s about as honest as I was concerning Ali in the early entries. While it shows the same social politics, that does not give me any clues about the circumstances surrounding us. One key puzzle piece(pun intended) this video introduced is the blue Mega Blok which has been present in past vlogs. According to Ben’s testimony, it is an object he cannot seem to get rid of. I’ll speak about it more in later video summaries.

A final note for this one: it contains footage from the last video that makes no sense. In the Alice video, it shows Ben saying “she’s really gone”. This was in late March. Casey died on May 14th. Rememberance features a clip of Ben saying this same line in the same context about Casey. How could this footage possibly have existed before he filmed it? The implications here make me scared to consider. This could only be possible if time were being manipulated… right? If that isn’t the answer, it’s something scarier. No rational explanation can justify this. Just how powerful are these entities we have been dealing with?

Forest Video: Third in the series of videos containing numbers in their titles, this video is the first to really heavily represent the previously mentioned forest motif found in the videos. As far as I can discern, Ben was taken here by Mark for some unknown reason. Ben seems to be very confused regarding his general situation in the video. He will bring this up himself in a later video which is blatantly related to events in this video. For now I do not have any special comments I feel need to be added.

Music Video: This one was interesting. It was posted in September but I suspect it took place at an earlier date given the next video. I have done my best to recreate the message in this video for you to read.

"Is there anybody out there? My name is Mark Graves. Is there anybody out there? Hello, my name is Mark. I’m your mind sending out an SOS. Tell the mad Chameleon I’m not afraid of [???a voice without a?] face anymore. I found [??? Likely 'a friend’] on the other side [???] kill Chameleon. [???] words unspoken. Soul of the night, I bring you a message. Listen to me. Two worlds are warring. In your mind's eye you'll see reality falling apart again. [???] Starting over again…”

After this everything becomes slowed down including Castle of Glass, the song Ben was originally playing. A lot of the punctuation in this is theoretical as punctuation is largely inflection which is hard to convey using broken up song lyrics. I’m still toying with a comma or two deciding whether or not I’m getting the correct message. For the most part it is refreshingly blatant.

Mark, Ben’s own version of Darek, is sending the message to reach out to Ben. Because of the assistance of someone on the other side(Zanark) plans are being made to kill Chameleon. A tiny piece of audio is too distorted to make out here, so this is largely speculation on my part as go the specific meaning of the phrase “kill Chameleon” and the previous line. The line about reality falling apart likely refers to the recent events shown in Ben’s last video and how he is clearly still being targeted.

There is nothing to infer apart from what the video itself reveals. This message will also be mentioned by Ben later so any detective work is already taken care of for it. It does show off a unique and previously unused method of communication by Mark that I will have to look out for. Perhaps music plays a bigger part in past videos than I suspected. For example, does this mean Mark played the song Anna in the third video? What about the songs in Rememberance?

Vacation Footage: In September, Ben went to visit Mammoth in California for a week. The video record of it was filmed entirely from Mammoth’s phone. It contained several candid moments which implied the entities were making his phone record. Part of the footage was of a short hiking trip at Lake Tahoe and the majority of it is the two getting drunk for Mammoth’s birthday.

The blue Mega Blok showed up around 2:48 in. It is an easy thing to miss but it proves Ben’s point in Rememberance that he can’t seem to be rid of it. If Mark didn’t subtly place it there off-camera, some random kid left it there and this is a huge coincidence. But as I mentioned in the analysis of the first video, I don’t believe in coincidences when it comes to the Figments.

I’ve mentioned before a connection between Ben and Zanark as well as Chameleon and Mammoth. This theory is evidenced as early as entry #11 and was reinforced in the last video. Proof on Mammoth’s end shines through with a clip of him just laughing insanely. In the same clip is the sound of television static, mimicking a moment in entry #43 inside the black cloud. At this point I believe Chameleon has not lost influence over Mark. However, he seems to be more interested in using ADDICT as his pawn as Mark clearly harbors deep resentment for Chameleon, choosing to ally with Zanark instead. There are some undertones in the second half of the video in which you could tell it was not Ben talking to Mammoth but Mark talking to ADDICT. All the while Zanark and Chameleon’s hold over them paints their motivations. For example, Ben mentioned that his fingerprints were the ones on the envelope, obviously trying to work out that this is because he himself put it together. Mammoth goes so far as to suggest someone stole his fingerprints with silly putty. It was a scare tactic that probably made Chameleon smile. Keep the victim thinking the threat is on the outside. Keep them paranoid and vulnerable from within.

There is some extra possible leads to note in here. The last excerpt of Ben singing the song Shepard of Fire by Avenged Sevenfold may contain pertinent lyrics given how music is obviously a chosen communication method by Mark. Several of the earlier lyrics may contain hints as well if that is the case.

Investigating: At twenty two minutes and nineteen seconds long, there is a lot to garner from this video. It contains a lot to support what I’ve already observed. Ben even flat out suggests on his own that the videos were put up for him to see personally.

He has been silent on social media for half a year at this point. He says this is because the hackers delete his posts so he gave up on even trying at a point. As the video goes on it splices in footage from different recordings. One of those recordings is an early theorizing session that leads to the woods again. It is in this video that Ben brings up the inconsistencies with his statements in the earlier video. It is possible that the forest for him acts as the dark cloud did for me, corroding the neural network and breaking the occupant’s sanity. Another clip contains the 4/4 code on Ben’s literal wall. As well, there is the main video which is Ben’s own analysis of the entities, and a few isolated clips with some interesting occurrences.

The filtered video of the forest recurs here. Is Ben wandering the same forest as I did in entry #43, only his own darker perception of it? He encounters a doppelganger of himself at the end which I can only assume is Mark Graves. In the opening clip, Ben reveals that the blue Mega Blok has been replaced by a red one, and at the end we see exactly how the switch occurred. Mark gave him the red block, and every time it appears in the video, Ben becomes noticeably agitated. Mark says in the woods that Zanark’s protection is running thin. This suggests that the blue block was a sort of talisman provided by Zanark. It’s disappearance also seems to mean that Chameleon has power over Mark again, given the corrupted music and the decline in Ben’s mental health. This brings me to a big theory I’ve been crafting this entire investigation.

I think Chameleon can possess the Figments like Figments possess the host. It makes a lot of sense given the evidence presented. The attacks on all of us seem highly coordinated despite Madrik claiming each Figment has an individual will. If we assume Chameleon can use the Figments to act on his behalf while controlling their host, a lot adds up. In the forest portion of the blog audio clearly shows Mark is no fan of Chameleon’s, just like the music message implied. Mark seems to want to help Ben. So why would he cut Ben off from the outside world completely? He didn’t. He is being forced by a presence beyond the Outer Layer which can move between the Figments at will. It may even account for Darek’s habit of helping me one day and hurting me the next. Chameleon and Zanark might exist on an entirely different level than previously assumed. They are so deep in all of our minds they can appear to be an outside presence. It is almost conclusive based on what I have observed.

Between the code in this video, the envelope video, and my twitter account, I am piecing together a key phrase that may lead to important revelations. As stated previously, I’ll save this for my next update. In Ben’s analysis, he finally admits he is just as crazy as the rest of us. The videos always prominently displayed it, but in person Ben is experienced at keeping his inner madness hidden. Seeing him confess the truth is a pretty big deal to someone who knew him in another life.

He also discusses something interesting which links him to Zanark. The name comes from his past. I actually knew of this character from Richee, who created the RPG and referenced Zane occasionally. I just never put two and two together as the character was always referred to as simply Zane. A potential decoding of one of the envelope codes could be relevant here. “Remember what Ben was”. Zanark just might be a past version of Ben when he was younger and more compassionate, before Mark’s obsession with vengeance overtook that part of him. I’m unsure if this is an accurate theory as it is based partly on speculation, but there is a definite connection between the two.

That concludes the video analysis. I have one more thing to bring up relating to Ali that happened while I was looking into the videos. I had been gearing up to question her regarding Kendra and all I had learned. I fully intended to reveal the truth to her about my renewed investigation. The cat’s out of the bag already, though. She caught me watching Ben’s videos.

It was the video containing Alice’s birthday video. I remember it well because it is the reason things went so poorly. I was researching it after giving it a bit of a wide berth for a while. I wasn’t really in the best frame of mind.

“What are you watching?” She asked. The tone if voice implied it wasn’t a question.

“I’m sorry, but,” I stammered, “I can’t hide from this anymore. This isn’t just about me. It’s happening to our friends too. Don’t you care about them?”

“Of course I do!” She said. “This isn’t something I can’t help them with though. Ben never answers my calls anymore. The last time I talked to Jake he seemed really out of it and he wouldn’t respond with more than one or two words. What do you expect to do?”

“Get to the bottom of this illness.” I said simply, my eyes glued to the computer screen, doing their best to ignore her. There was a sinking in my chest as the conversation progressed. “If I can figure out what is causing this, I can help somehow! I’m so close to a lead…”

“Mat, you always say that. You were saying that when we first had this conversation. You’re never going to find answers. Every answer is another question and you know that. So why are you even bothering to play into Darek’s games?”

“Are you seriously asking me that? Thats a little hypocritical if you ask me.” I laughed bitterly. “This coming from the girl who talked to that psycho? Who fell in love with him and let him tell you what you could tell me?”

She pouted at me. “Don’t make it about that.”

“But that IS all it’s about! You and Darek. Are you even really Ali right now?” I searched desperately for the truth, for the arguments I’d crafted from my entries. “Because if you are, you’re being played. We both are! They’re making these things happen against our will!”

“But it is our will.” Ali said calmly. I could sense a demeanor shift. “They’re extensions of us, and they’re defense mechanisms used to help us survive. Their games are harmless to us, Mat. If anything, you should just trust yourself more to be able to handle whatever comes. This obsession is not beneficial to you.”

“But it isn’t harmless! They can clearly be influenced to perform malicious actions! And what about the doorway, and that dark cloud? You read entry #43 too; I know you did!”

“… they were just dreams, Mat. It wasn’t real.”

Something about that, about the way she said it, struck me like a knife in the back. A white hot flame leapt into my eyes and everything got real fuzzy. I’m pretty sure I broke her precious bong at some point in my unawareness. That sobered me up real quick and I realized I was letting Darek get to me. Something about what she said had set him off on a rampage. Ali teared up and ran from the room without another word.

Sullenly, I set about the task of restoring order to Ali’s room. I think she knew about what I was doing. She was one of the ten early followers to my blog. I don’t doubt she saw me update and just decided not to say anything about it until now. I did my best to quote the exact conversation. Looking back I wonder how much Kendra and Darek had to do with this little argument.

So at least I am mostly free to stop sneaking around now. Ali may not want to talk about the investigation but at least she won’t stop me from making my own choices. I’ll update as soon as I have anything new to share.