#also I'm OBSESSED with the fucking. YAHOO

[birdmenmanga]

It's panels like these that really get me wondering as to whether Sagisawa's first language is English... it would make sense since this is a crucial moment with no time to spare so if he defaults back to his first language it tracks. it's hard to notice that he's ACTUALLY speaking English when reading the English translation because... it's all English for us... even Fiona and Fox's horizontal text as compared to the bird club's vertical text is lost in translation...

[wysteria-bloom]

honkai star rail x f!reader - random prompts

-

characters : caelus, welt, sampo, gepard, dan heng

warnings : none! :) sfw

a/n : im obsessed with this game and its characters!! Huohuo and sampo have my whole heart ❤️❤️ requests are 100% open for hsr, so feel free to suggest whatever ideas you have and i will write them! Be mindful that I am currently moving onto the second story chapter so i wont know stuff about jing yuan or blade!! I'm definitely doing one with the girl characters after this one-

Prompt : ̗̀➛Caelus touching [name]'s face and telling her that her face is really soft.

When talking with Caelus, you typically notice the far-off look he gets in his eyes. It’s as though his mind is in a distant land and yet his physical form is present here, with you.

It was an endearing trait of his, but also irritating. Especially when you’re trying to explain something extremely important to him.

He was definitely an odd one…

I mean, the first time you had met him he was head-first in a trash can searching for… something.

But… his strange quirks are what drew you to him. The times where he seemed emotionless were actually the times where he was the most gentle… and the times where he is the most aggressive he comes across as seemingly unhinged.

You were definitely down bad for this strange raccoon guy whom had a literal nuke within him.

Yeah, if your parents were still around they definitely wouldn’t be proud of your choices.

Sighing at the distant look in his eyes, you clicked your fingers in front of his face, frowning when he didn’t even blink,” Oi- Caelus!” You called out, frown deepening further when he didn’t respond,” Yahoo~? Astral Express to Caelus??”

He didn’t budge.

Biting your lip in frustration you went to pinch his cheeks but you were found frozen in shock when Caelus had, in fact, beaten you to it. His fingers were rough from how much he’s been swinging that destructive bat around but they had a comforting warmth surrounding them, and when mixed with the blush on your cheeks you felt as though your face could be considered a heat hazard at this point.

He pinched at your cheeks with a concentrated expression, fingers rubbing your skin gently like he was testing the feeling of it, deciding whether he liked it or not.

It was weird.

He was weird.

But fuck, was it adorable to you.

A hum slipped through his lips and he stopped pinching your cheeks, seemingly deciding on something as he just sort of cupped your face gently in his hands instead.

You blinked up at him in embarrassment and utter confusion,”… You gonna explain what’s going on in that strange head of yours orr…?”

A small smile curled onto his lips as his amber eyes swirled with affection and warmth,” Your skin is very soft… I like it.” He complimented bluntly, his thumbs caressing your cheeks to further emphasise his point.

You were silent for a long moment before furrowing your brows,” I-I… thank you??”

“No problem.”

Prompt : ̗̀➛Welt using [Name]'s lap as a pillow.

It had been a long day seemingly, and Welt felt as though he just wanted to collapse into a black hole.

Maybe even one of his own.

March was a lovely girl but her social personality was tiring… and she clashes too much with Dan Heng. It was like babysitting rowdy siblings.

When he had made it into the Astral Express with an exhausted cloud hanging over him, you noticed it almost immediately. You could pick it out from a crowd of people.

When he saw you his tired gaze seem to soften a little, an ounce of tenderness within them,”… We are never having kids.”

You let out a laugh as he made his way over to you, his head hanging ever so slightly,” Guessing the youngsters were a little too much for you?” You cooed out gently, watching his stiff movements with pity,” oh, dear… surely they weren’t that bad?”

“No, no… they were that bad.” He corrected as he sat down next to her huffing slightly,” I feel drained.”

“Hmm… thats the joy of children.” You teased lightly, gazing softly into his honey-coloured eyes as you pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose for him,” Do you want to sleep in my room for a while?”

“…” He watched her, studying your expression and feeling his admiration and love for you slowly consuming him.

Perhaps his exhaustive state was affecting his ability to think logically.

Or maybe that’s just what he wanted to beleive -

But when he found himself moving to lay his head in your lap, he felt as though nothing else in the world mattered to him except for how you make him feel.

You blinked in surprise for a moment at his actions, your hands frozen in the air before you slowly began to card your fingers through his hair. Smiling down at him in amusement you raised a brow,” Is my lap comfortable, love?”

“Well… I’m not uncomfortable.” He answered ambiguously, closing his weary eyes.

I chuckled lightly at that response, continuing to scratch at his scalp gently with my comforting fingers. He hummed in approval,” That’s nice…”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mhm…”

I sighed a little,” You can’t fall asleep on my lap, Welt.”

“ I disagree… I think this is a perfectly optimal place for me to rest.”

“My legs will die.”

“… a small price to pay.”

Sighing once more, a weak smile curled onto your lips as you took his glasses off for him, setting them to the side,” Alright, alright… Sweet dreams, love.”

There was a small curve to his lips at these words as he began to drift off.

Prompt : ̗̀➛Sampo teaching [Name] how to kiss

“Oh~? Well if it isn’t one of my dearest friends! [name], what brings you to the underground, huh?” Sampo cooed out with his usual easy-going smile on his lips, the sight of you filling his heart with genuine joy.

You blink up at him blankly before humming,” I came to speak with you, actually.” You answered honestly, arms crossing over his chest.

His placed a hand where his heart would be, a fake-shocked look on his face,” Moi?? Why, what a wonderful surprise!” He leaned down a little so he was looking eye-to-eye with you,” My heart swoons at the fact you think about me, doll! How endearing of you~”

You click your tongue, eyes narrowing up at him,” Don’t get too cocky, moron. I came down to make a purchase, not to see you personally.”

He ignored the disappointment he felt as he deflated slightly,” Ehhh? A purchase?” He repeated, raising an eyebrow,” I’m afraid I don;t have many valuable relics in stock at the moment—“

“I want to buy… a-advice.”

“Ehhhhh??” He was even more confused,” I understand I’m a veteran in this business and everything, but you don’t need to buy advice from me, doll. I can just give it to ya.”

You frowned a little at his response and just decided to rip the bandage off, eyebrows furrowing in determination,” Sampo… I want advice on how to kiss somebody.” You stated bluntly and full of purpose.

His eyebrows raised at that answer…’ Who is she prepping to kiss, I wonder?… lucky guy/girl.’ His heart felt like it was breaking.

“Huh? Why do you need to learn a skill like that?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively,” You planning on fooling around with someone, [name]? How scandalous—“

“No.” You interrupted instantly, bitting your lip to keep yourself from spilling information.

“What makes you think I would be good at kissing?”

“…. Do I really have to answe that?…”

“Yes, please.”

“No… you’d have to pay me if you want to hear that kind of praise from me.”

“Hmmm… I dunno…”

Her eyebrows furrowed,”… I will pay you handsomely if you teach me.”

He bursts into laughter as he pet her head affectionately before stopping himself,” There’s no need to pay me, doll, really!” Then he gave her a cocky smirk,” A chance to kiss you is payment enough~!”

You waved your hand dismissively,” Yeah, yeah, whatever you want… now teach me.” You seemed fairly eager.

Sampo is utterly amused at this, he shakes his head and gives an amused sigh. “Oh, this should be fun.” He says, his smirk turns into a smile. “Okay, come here. Let me show you.” He says and he pulls you close.

He puts his hand behind your head and he kisses you gently. Not too soft, and not too aggressive. You lean into the kiss almost immediately, shutting your eyes as you basked in the feeling of his lips against yours.

Sampo pulls away after a few moments and he’s blushing hard, his eyes locked on yours. “See? How’s that for a lesson?” He asks, his breath a little heavy but he smirks like he’s already planning something to do to you next. He was completely mesmerised by you.

“Hmm… I think I need another demonstration, I didn’t quite understand…” You mumbled, eyelashed fluttering up at him innocently.

Surprised and very eager at this response, he raised a brow and smirks. “You’re asking for more?” He asks. He shakes his head. “Okay then, have it your way..” he says and he pulls you in again. He kisses you a bit harder this time, his arm coming around you.

“Mphm!…” you were surprised by how much more aggressive this kiss was but you were able to adapt to it instantly, your arms coming up to wrap around his neck to pull him closer to you as you took complete control over the kiss.

Sampo is caught off guard by this, his eyes widening in surprise but he keeps kissing you, matching your intensity. One of his hands grabs your waist, the other hand running through your hair. He’s enjoying every second of this. “Mmm…” he says, between kisses.

Then, you pulled away, breathing heavily as you stared up at him with a hazy look in your eyes,” How was that?…”

Sampo’s chest is heaving, his heart is racing. He looks down at you, a big grin on his face. “I think that was perfect,” he says and his breath is shaky. “You’re a natural..” he adds with a smile, his eyes glowing,” In fact… I think you could teach me a few things… how about another try?”

“Sound good.”

Prompt : ̗̀➛[Name] catches a cold so Gepard makes sure all her needs are met like an overbearing mother.

A groan left your lips as you stared up at your ceiling hazily, your nose felt entirely blocked and your face was burning hot.

You were definitely sick. From what? You do not know.

But what you are aware of us how much of an overbearing boyfriend Gepard can be when you're sick like this.

You watched in amusement as he ran around your shared bedroom like a headless chicken, fixing the pillows beneath your head for about the hundredth time that day.

"Gepard... The damn pillows are fine, leave 'em alone." You mumbled, your voice was hoarse and scratchy. You just didn't sound well at all.

Gepard pauses in the middle of fluffing up your pillows to peer down at you for a moment," do you have to be so cranky whenever you get sick?" He rolls his eyes goodnaturedly, but in spite of that, he was still fussing over you, pulling the throw blanket over you and turning the humidifier to full blast.

"I'm only cranky when you start acting like my mom. I've already got one, I don't need two." You watched as he opened the window to let fresh air into the room, and you would be lying if you said it didn't feel nice to have cool breeze hitting your face.

Your response makes his cheeks puff out in kick annoyance, letting out a dramatic sigh," so your mother is the only one who is allowed to care for you?" He settles himself into the comfy rocking chair next to your bed as he looked over you with a tender smile on his lips," I bet you're not even aware of how cute you look while you're sick." He observes.

You huffed, letting out your millionth sniffle that day," yeah, yeah... Only you would find me cute with snot running from my nose." You teased, still finding his compliments charming however.

He smirks and makes a clicking noise at you in response," I think your snotty nose and feverish flush brings out your eyes." There's that charm of his again before his smirk settled into a warm smile," how do you feel, anyway?" There was worry lacing his words.

He reminded you of a cute dog... His caring loyal attitude never ceases to make you fall in love with him even more.

Smiling up at him, you raise a brow," I feel like shit," you stated bluntly before your eyes softened," but you're making the experience more bearable."

Gepard chuckles and strokes through your hair, ruffled up in a way that was adorable to his eyes." I'm sorry you feel so awful." He murmurs," are you hungry?" He asks.

"no... I'm good for now," you looked down at the swathes of blankets covering you and opened them up, patting the spot next to you encouragingly," I think taking a nap with my wonderful boyfriend would instantly cure my fever." You grinned up at him innocently.

Gepard blushed, your expression and the invitation being far too inviting for him to resist," Of course..." He murmurs as he slowly, but carefully climbs up on the bed before nestling against you until he's under the covers.

His arms are wrapped around your body and he's pressed all the way up against you, like your very own heated pillow," is that all better for now?"

Instantly leaning into him warm and comforting touch, you nodded with a peaceful smile on your lips as you buried your face into his chest,” for sure…” you hummed out, already feeling yourself getting sleepy. Your arms wrap around his waist comfortably as you sigh in his smell of cinnamon,” Thank you… for taking care of me.”

Gepard holds back a groan of pleasure as you tuck yourself so close against him, your warm body just that much more appealing with your feverish flush. The moment your head rests against his chest, his arms instantly tighten around you, and he's holding himself perfectly still. He's not letting you go.

He kisses behind your ear, the tender gesture causing him to blush. "It's nothing," He hums, nuzzling into your neck. "It's my duty."

“I suppose it is,” you giggled out, leaning into the tender kisses he was giving you,” You’re like a knight in shining armour…” you hummed sleepily.

His fingers are gently stroking through your hair, the caress almost enough to lull you to sleep. The tender kisses he's pressing into your neck help, but not nearly as much as the loving expression on his face, one that's a picture of pure content. He nuzzles into you, as if to mark you as his, but mostly because he doesn't want anything separating the two of you.

"And you are my damsel," He whispers.

“Your princess,”you reiterated, blinking up at him tiredly.

"My princess." He echoes.

Gepard's arms are as warm and as comforting as they are tight around you. Your head is pressed right against his chest, his voice just an ear-hugging whisper in your ear.

"My precious and beloved princess." He purrs gently.

You slowly drifted off to sleep at his words, his warm and soft voice lulling you to sleep like the lullaby of a siren.

or maybe it was the fever that made you so sleepy.

Gepard holds you against him, nuzzling into your shoulder as he's content to watch over your peaceful sleep.

His fingers trace circles into your hair, and the warmth of his body, especially as the blankets he's pulling up to you trap the heat, are just perfect for helping you recover comfortably.

All this fuss over a simple cold. He'll make sure you're treated like royalty.

Prompt : ̗̀➛Dan Heng doesn't like talking on the phone, but [Name] always calls him instead of texting. [Name] admits that it's because she wants to hear Dan Heng's voice.

Den Heng let out a sigh the second his phone started ringing, he almost immediately knew who it was.

Nobody else called him. Not even March!

Why did you have to be different?

Dan Heng answered his phone with a sigh,"Yes, [name]? What is it?"

There was silence before your light voice graced his ears," Hey there~! Long time no talk, buddy." God, he could hear the shit eating grin in your voice.

That stupid grin.

That stupidly charming grin.

"... I hate you, you know that?" Dan Heng murmured and shook his head with frustration as he rubbed his eyes,"What is it you need now? Money? Food? What have you done this time? Are you in trouble again?" He hissed quietly.

"You don't hate me! Den Heng, where are your manners?" You gasped out, acting as though you were offended by his words when you were only growing more amused.

This is usually how your interactions went. You being irritating and him being irritable. Himeko and Welt can't count how many times you both have had your little spouts.

You were like a married couple, honestly. Disgustingly cute.

"And I don't need any of those things! I'm on the straight and narrow," But then you paused then there was a chuckle," For now."

A small smile spread on Dan Heng's face as he heard your laughter. Thank god he wasn't talking to you in person he'd look like an idiot.

"... you're certainly not on the straight and narrow if you're telling me 'for now'..." He leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow, "So what is it you need, then, if it's not money, food, or my help when you've definitely gotten yourself into trouble again?" He asked.

"Welllll..." you dragged your words out, almost as though you were delaying something. But then there was a click of your tongue and-," I just like hearing your voice. Is that so bad?"

You said this so casually. Like it wasn't meant to make Dan Heng have a heart attack.

Dan Heng hesitated and coughed awkwardly as he was taken aback by the sudden shift in what he thought to be a light exchange between him and you. He put his phone close to his ear, his eyes wide with surprise.

“... I-I don’t know what to say.” He said honestly but then he deadpanned,“I was about to tell you that you’re a brat to tease, but I had no idea this was going in this direction.”

"I'm not a brat, am I?" You chuckled out, there was a somberness to your tone," I dunno, you're just easy to talk to."

He heard your clothing shuffle, you must have shrugged.

"But I can tell I'm annoying you, so if you want I can just start messaging from now o-"

Dan Heng was quick to interrupt.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Dan Heng said quickly, waving his hand in front of him as if he could see you through the phone.

“You call me whenever you want to talk. It’s just— your timing—” He ran his hand through his hair again,“I thought this was going to be another prank call.”

He heard silence and then your breathy chuckle," You're so cute when you're flustered, Dan Heng." You hummed out teasingly.

Dan Heng’s face turned a bright shade of red and his cheeks warmed in a way only you had ever managed to achieve for him.

He couldn’t find the words to respond and sat there for a moment until he let out a quiet sigh.

“I wish you weren’t so… so… so…” He said, looking around his room as if to search for a synonym. He sighed again and gave up.

“I take it back... you're annoying.”

"Cute."

He heard the creaking of a chair," I'd like to take you out to dinner." You admitted rather bluntly, though there was a gentle tone to your voice.

"If you'd let me," you then added on as an after-thought.

Dan Heng’s face turned a deeper shade of red and his jaw dropped from sheer surprise.

“…W-what?” He asked you, and for someone who wasn’t known for stuttering, he was doing a whole lot of it.

Once or twice you'd joked to him about it, but in all honesty, there were so many times he wanted to ask you out but never did.

“I-… I would love to go to dinner with you." I said. But then realisation struck him and he cleared his throat," But..." He trailed off.

"Buuuut?...." You repeated, sounding a little nervous.

He frowned at himself for making you anxious,“There’s always ‘buts’ with me, it’s never just a clean cut ‘yes’.”

He looked up at the ceiling and let his head drop back down, growing more emotionally exhausted by the second, “In my defense, ‘you’ and ‘me dating’ are things that have never went together in the same sentence in my head.”

"Dan Heng! So mean." You whined out but you began laughing afterwards," You sure about that, though?" There was a teasing lilt to your voice," I see you and I together a lot.

“Well—” Dan Heng paused briefly and cleared his throat, his eyebrows furrowed cutely. Was he really about to confess this to you? Over the phone at that as well.

“…I have actually imagined a few times…”

He looked up at the ceiling again, his expression turning slightly red and he shut his eyes tightly, cringing at his own words.

“…it’s nothing I can say I ever thought would happen for real. But here we are…”

"Ah, I see..." you sounded almost touched,"... Well, how do you feel?" You asked, genuinely wanting him to express himself.

“How do I feel—?” The question caught Dan Heng off guard. As if he had a lot of thoughts going through his head at once.

“I-I feel—”

He was silent, trying to find the words. He couldn’t find the right words.

“I’ll be honest,” He said quietly, staring at nothing as he held his phone to his ear, “I feel a little scared.”

"Yeah?" She breathed out.

"Yeah," He repeated in the same tone,"...If you and I actually… you know… went on a date..." Dan Heng cleared his throat again, and again, trying to find the words," And you started to know more about me… who I truly am... will you still look at me the way you do now?"

He paused.

"Will you still like me? Or will you end up being disappointed?" He finally spoke in a whisper.

"I... I don't think I could ever be disappointed," you admitted genuinely, a gentle smile to your voice," I know you're closed off for your own reasons... but that makes me more drawn to you."

You sounded so enamoured. Affectionate. He's never heard you speak like this before.

"I want to shoulder your burdens alongside you," you stated simply," No matter what those burdens are. I need to make the weight holding you down lighter... that's my genuine feelings."

“…” In all his years of knowing you, he never thought he’d hear those words in your lifetimes.

The silence grew before Dan Heng spoke again, his voice still a soft whisper but now one of resolve and strength.

“...Okay then.” A small smile twitched onto his lips," Message me the details when you have it figured out."

"Nah, I'll just call you." You confirmed with a clear sound of giddiness within your voice.

Den Heng finally let a soft breathy laugh fall from his lips, his resolve evidently broken,"... I know you will."

[peemil]

i'm supposed to tag nine people for this YAHOO YIPPEE but idk if i'm gonna actually tag that many. We'll See

i was tagged by @figbian THANK YOU i love doing these sorts of things, especially when i'm stressed out!

three ships: wow this sure is tumblr dot com narumitsu/wrightworth, sylvix (i'm sorry women), aaaaaaaand for the sake of #feminism, my ride-or-die femslash rarepair: asuhika ❤️

first ship: if we want to go all the way back i was a hardcore may/ash (advancedshipping) stan back in the day. i made something like 7 amvs in the span of maybe a month and a half and then BURNED THEM ONTO A DVD. AND GAVE IT TO PEOPLE.

last song i listened to: when i first attempted to answer this a few days ago, it was fucking "sissy that walk." i regret to inform everyone that, by complete coincidence, the answer once again is "sissy that walk."

currently reading: i honestly am so bad at finishing things i've started reading. i also generally don't like reading books for pleasure? people will come after me for that but i like the feeling of having finished something, which is why i tend to read a lot more essays and papers and the like, as opposed to novels.

currently watching: *sigh* vanderpump rules... though i do still need to finish part 6 of jojo as well!

relationship status: discord moderator

current obsessions: fire emblem three houses As Well. i've also recently started to seriously try to learn chess again. and as always i'm playing a lot of splatoon!

currently craving: oh man i went on a whole thing about the stuff i wanted to eat last night but i really want a melon cream soda so bad it makes me look fucking STUPID

fave color: bright teal

tagging: @sweetfloatapartment @nitroplusofficial @humhallelujah @thewrongtrouser @squimp @toasttheinkling @cow-inthe-closet @reikomakoto aaaaaand i guess that's only 8. sorry! there are some more people i want to tag but i'm so shy...

no pressure to do this obviously! but i am thinking of all of you and sending my love

[lastweeksshirttonight]

We're back with Strike Force Five episode two, which seems to have randomly dropped at some point after I went to bed on Saturday. I enjoy when podcasts just randomly drop episodes, honestly, makes the whole thing feel more authentically chaotic.

I started listening to this while trying to figure out how to draft for fantasy football. I am not a football fan. I don't follow football. I don't know how to do fantasy. I very much procrastinated on that by doing these notes. My team is graded C- by Yahoo btw, which is two full grades higher than I expected.

Notes under the cut y'all.

This episode opens with Fallon talking about how he forgot his show's shirts glow in the dark. Apparently Billy Crystal tried to sleep in one recently and discovered this; John also noted a time when he was trying to get his infant son to sleep while wearing one of Fallon's shirts and saying it glowed "too well".

The audience for this podcast is obviously 30-something office drones like me. I say this because Atlassian is now running ads during the podcast. They must sense that everyone listening to this has it open in tab one while having their task-overrun Jira boards open in tabs two through five. John also completely "ruins" this ad - which was very on the rails for a decent amount of time! - by suggesting that Atlassian sounds like "one of those plans G. Gordon Liddy had to relect Nixon". Fallon also claims Atlassian is the name of his Fortnite character. (I wonder how my boss feels about both of those lol)

Everyone opens by briefly talking about how many staff they have. Stephen has 210, Kimmel has about 180 + 13 writers + a bunch of crew, Fallon thinks he has 305, and John jokingly says he has 500 people before admitting he misses his legal and research staff. He's ready to say things he thinks are true, instead of "things that are legally defensible".

Stephen: "Would you guys be okay if I had a little Casamigos, I got a bottle right here...?" John: "It's 7:30 in the morning, why not?" Seth: "That's like a 24 ounce 7-11 cup..." I'm so glad this is all in an auditory medium.

John is going to continue shitting on whatever alcohol company he shat on last week, and called it "pond water". I am guessing it's somehow related to Bud Light but that doesn't really track with tequila advertising, so who knows. I have in a past life had Bud Light Margarita in a Bag once, maybe John also suffered that unique hell.

If it IS Bud Light John is talking about, I have no idea how Stephen talking about Budweiser wanting him to be the voice for a Budweiser energy drink/caffeinated beer called B to the E/B 2 the E didn't get cut. This was in about 2001-2002, so well before Four Loko, and the ad copy contained things like "your friends are heading home AND YOU'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!" (John is quietly dying in the background the entire fucking time before Googling if it ever came out. It did! Fallon is flatly like "that's illegal" in a completely baffled tone early on.)

We are 8 minutes into an hour-long podcast. Just informing you, in case you were wondering. Why yes I am obsessed/bad at football why do you ask

Kimmel insists that his early seasons - "for the first eight to eleven years" - were the worst of anyone's on the podcast. He said this after talking about, on his show, Mr. T and Jim Belushi hating each other and almost about to fight each other, his cousin doing pillow-fights early on and causing a catastrophe one episode by fighting Lennox Lewis culminating with Anna Nicole Smith falling into a cake, and another pillow fight with Tom Arnold ruining his suede jacket. I forget that Kimmel is partially of the Jerry Springer era, if not on his late-night show then from his other work, and this just really reminded me of that.

Mariah Carey wanted to be interviewed by Seth Meyers during Christmas in a functional sleigh. John tells a story about watching Watch What Happens Live where Andy Cohen, on live TV by himself, said that Mariah Carey was in the building but would not sit on the side where guests usually sit on his show and was desperately trying to fill time. Mariah seems fun.

If I had to imagine Hell for Stephen Colbert, it would be "having to fill in for a guest on The Daily Show and turning down an advanced screening of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". That scenario seems tailor-made to completely destroy him.

I'm glad I remember that Ben and Jerry bit Stephen and Fallon are talking about. I would love to know what this whole explanation sounds like to someone who does not remember the whole "best friends" late night "wars" of the time. Here's the bit btw. (Your daily reminder that the CC website sucks ass.)

I forgot Fallon started his show two weeks before Seth. I must have completely blanked out how quickly all of those hosts changed in 2014 (and then John starting the same year).

I'm with John on this one, "Allen key" makes waaaaaay more sense than "Allen wrench". It's a fucking key! The amount of shit I've had to put together with those goddamn things, it's not a wrench at ALL.

One thing I learned today: chairs are very serious business for most of the hosts. Fallon keeps a chair backstage to see how someone will look in chairs on the set, and to confirm that's okay with the guests. Seth, meanwhile, had chairs that John feel like he was being interviewed to be on Seth's show. And Stephen has all different sizes of chairs, to make everyone feel comfortable when they're on the show. (This is where things go predictably off the rails, as Seth then claims he has chairs that get smaller and smaller to keep guests on their toes.)

John's guest are was the most expensive part of his set, and they never used it. Somehow that doesn't surprise me. I was shocked they have a guest booker, though. (Stephen: "Wow what a cushy gig!")

Kimmel's live show ceased being live when Thomas Jane said "fuck" nineteen times on air and affiliates/censors were mad. Apparently on network you CAN technically say anything past ten p.m., according to Kimmel, but that's not the reality of the situation.

Seth: "People forget about the early 2000s. If you were a sports fan, you would often say, 'I wonder who won the big game... let's watch the Kimmel monologue.'" This is exactly what the 2000s were like, kids.

Seth and Fallon both were told by SNL showrunner Lorne Michaels that it would take them 18 months to get comfortable with their shows and figure out how to use them. Seth definitely felt that was wrong and he'd only take 6 months... but the first time he started the show from behind his desk was almost 18 months to the day from his first episode.

Stephen has an unaired 3-minute opening credits sequence that he wants to show on his last episode if possible. John also had a longer title sequence that he loved, but that his producer said he'd be constantly going over for time and he'd need to cut it down, lest he get continually furious over not having enough time for his actual show.

Fallon talks about how his first interview was with notoriously reticent and quiet Robert DeNiro, who gave Fallon one-word answers for literally everything. John asks if anyone told him he was starting from a high difficulty degree, but is interrupted by Stephen remembering a Space Train sketch in the middle of Fallon's interview featuring DeNiro.

Stephen remembers more about Fallon's show than Fallon does, which is wild. Stephen probably remembers more about everyone's show than they do, based on the first two episodes.

Stephen calling The Colbert Report "a totally different beast and maybe doesn't even fit in this conversation" made me sad. Tell me all the Report gossip!!!

Stephen telling the story of how he made the Public Access Show for Monroe, Michigan prior to doing late night is incredible. I remember watching him and Eminem do that show the day the internet became aware of it, and it is just a fascinating bit of transitional Colbert work. Also, had no idea they took over a real show... or that they got almost 0 viewers for it, lol. Here's the link to the bit, for your viewing pleasure:

Fallon must realize that John has said literally nothing for a while, because he asks how the first episode of Last Week Tonight went. John actually talks about hosting The Daily Show for three months. He says he'd never interviewed anyone before then (I'm guessing he means that as in "I've never interviewed someone seriously and with the eye of not taking the piss out of them", because he'd done MANY filmed interviews for correspondent pieces before then) and talks about the episode where the power was cut. They taped the episode on a camcorder and had to feed it to Comedy Central through Stephen's office.

Stephen then talks about how his first episode almost doesn't make it to air because it couldn't be exported from Avid. Everyone in the editing bay insists this is fine, and it did end up being fine, but the contrast between how CBS editing works and John having to go to another office to feed a show to Comedy Central is so interesting.

Stephen also kicked down a door after this. Please enjoy this mental image, you freaks.

John and Stephen sharing a bitter laugh over John's joke about Les Moonves in the background is fantastic.

John is the first person to bring up that Ryan Reynolds turned around Wrexham the team AND the city. I really should watch that show.

We now return to Last Week Tonight, which lawyers refused to allow to be live. (Knowing John's comedic sensibilities, I completely understand Legal's stance.) He acknowledges that they had too many ideas going together in the first episodes, including a pre-taped guest. The big thing they learned was that they were doing one show a week, which lead to research coming in throughout the week that undermined their segments, rewriting whole shows on Thursday, and the realization that doing the show that way was completely unsustainable. Having watched those early episodes recently (and I promise I'm still doing that in the background), this context totally explains the franticness and weird pacing early on. Of course things feel more didactic and surface level - they were writing full episodes in two days! The show completely restaffed and changed after year one, and John's "bones were as hollow as a sparrow". He also knew that anyone who didn't like episode one was going to hate episode two, because it was about the death penalty.

Seth's first guests were Amy Poehler and Joe Biden, because they'd been on Parks and Rec together and Biden gladly accepted being after Amy.

Seth's misplaced confidence in his pink eye sketch is very relatable.

Fallon texting everyone that he is basically dying of heat stroke in his room and is trying to leave to save himself is hilarious. Poor Jimmy, he's suffering and getting clowned so hard for it. AND THEN Stephen talks about the opening of Fallon's first episode and all the change he dumped on his desk and him. And Fallon had to run up to the roof with change falling out of his clothes. Again, all this while Fallon is having a heat episode. As John says, "we should rename this 'Asphyxiating Jimmy Fallon'."

Fallon is also vaguely losing his mind and forgets he can talk on a podcast, because he keeps texting the others his thoughts.

They actually address the hosting schedule! Next episode, Stephen is hosting. After that, it's John (I'm excited for the inevitable LMFAO retrospective and/or extensive discussion of penii on rooves), then "James Theodore Fallon".

Thank you for reading this ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT I'm so sorry that this is apparently my niche right now, thousands of words on a 45 min to 1 hr podcast featuring five white guys. One day the John pictures will again outnumber my blatherings, I promise.

[blubushie]

Opinion on criptids? not including yeti, Yowie, bigfoot, or similar ape beings.

Aha! I'm talking about primates anyway.

Lucky you, cryptids are a former hyperfixation of mine. What else is a bored kid in the Outback supposed to do except obsessively read his book on cryptids and plot journeys to discover them?

Disclaimer: reason I'm not mentioning some obvious cryptids here (cough chupacabra cough) is because I'm not including cryptids that are likely misidentifications of other things (like how chupacabras are most likely coyotes and dogs with severe mange).

Listen, I've seen a yahoo. Maybe those yams went bad and I was just hallucinating. Maybe my childhood vivid visual hallucinations kicked back in for one evening. I don't know. All I'm saying is that I find it very interesting that practically every culture and continent on the planet has a story about large, hairy, ape-like beings that walk on two legs and have similar behaviours of reclusiveness, evasion of humans, piling things in their environment, knocking things like wood and stones, and chucking things at people who get too close. Also a lot of them supposedly pong quite a bit.

Almost like we had a distant ancestor that evolved and maybe spread around the globe some 300,000 years ago before humans even evolved...

Also Aboriginal Australians and Papuans have DNA from a, as of now, unknown human species. We have no idea what the fuck it is but it's presumed to be a situation similar to how European humans mated with Neanderthals (and eventually assimilated them into the human genome to the point of extinction). This coupled with so many mobs having stories about yahoos stealing away women in the night? I ain't saying nothing besides something's crook in Tallarook.

Anyway! If there's anything out there it's probably in the ocean. I'm keen to believe that maybe there's a freshwater plesiosaur somewhere in Loch Ness since plesiosaurs did travel from ocean to estuary to brackish water to freshwater and then out of the rivers back to the sea again. And with fully-freshwater plesiosaurs being likely, who's to say they didn't end up in the Loch? Well, science, since the Loch only formed by melting glaciers about 10,000 years ago and is completely landlocked, but fuck that we're talking cryptozoology! I think it's more than feasible that some juvenile plesiosaurs (much like crocodiles) survived the meteors and continued to reproduce... Just not in the Lock. I've been on the open ocean. I believe in sea monsters.

I'm fully convinced of the Blue Mountains panther because I've found the fucking tracks. No, dipstick I mentioned it to one time in person, big cat tracks look nothing like fucking dingo tracks.

Megalodons. Cliché, I know, but hear me out. A lot of people think that Megalodons pulled a colossal squid situation and went deep. I don't think so. See, Megalodons wouldn't have remained at a 15m size in the depths. There's too much pressure at deepwater, and the amount of food they'd need to maintain that level of mass without starving is much higher than the amount of food available at that depth. They'd need to feed so often that they'd defo be spotted because even colossal squid arise from the depths at night to feed, though they still remain pretty deep.

So deepwater? No. HOWEVER. However. A Greenland shark situation where Megalodon gradually evolved to maintain colder body temperatures and moved to the geographic poles to feed, remaining under the ice caps? More likely. Additionally the colder waters would mean that the Megalodon's metabolic rate would be incredibly slow to the point they'd only need to some up to the surface maybe once every six months to make a kill and then return, unpotted, to the darkness to digest. Now if only there were large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items big enough to sustain a 15m apex predator's nutritional needs in frigid waters. Oh, if only the Megalodon had specifically evolved to hunt these large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items... Hmm...

There's something in Lake Champlain. There's been recorded echolocations of an unknown animal. Do I think it's a plesiosaur? No. Do I think it's a freshwater dolphin or other caetacean? Yes.

The thylacine still exists somewhere in Tasmania.

Aliens.

Other miscellaneous ones I think are real are:

British big cats. Escaped/released exotics, especially after the 1976 Dangerous Wild Animals Act. There was even a puma caught alive in 1980 near Cannich in Scotland. She was named Felicity after her capture. You can read more about her and other (Scottish) big cats here.

Eastern cougars, Puma concolor couguar, haven't kicked the bucket yet.

Queensland tiger is either a surviving small population of mainland thylacines or a bloody Thylocaleo population that survived to the modern day. (They also might just be tree kangaroos though--far more likely.)

Min-Min Lights (I've seen them)

Zanzibar leopard. This was a leopard subspecies that lived on Unguja Island in Zanzibar, Tanzania. They went extinct in the mid-1990s after a bounty program enforced by the government and due to habitat loss. A living leopard was recorded on camera in 2018, but scientists keep whinging about how it's probably just a feral African leopard that was introduced to Zanzibar. I pity the hopeless.

Malagasy hippo. Supposedly gone extinct ~1,000 years ago, the last known sighting was 1976.

Aliens (again)

Humanity's greatest sin is thinking ourselves so wise that nothing remains a mystery to us.

[rawiswhore]

Shawn Michaels x Fem Reader- "Inside Of Me"

No, this fanfic is not a vorarephilia fanfic about Shawn...

______________________________________________________________

This is a true story from myself and I'm not making it up...

When I was a young girl growing up, I learned what penis into vagina (and even penis into anus) intercourse was through reading sex education books and seeing pornographic fanart on the Internet.

These sex education books would always mention how a man sticks his penis in a woman's vagina, but they never would mention how a man slides his dick back and forth inside a woman's pussy, like how normal sex goes on.

I remember being 12 years old looking up pictures of "The Simpsons" on Google Images or Yahoo images, and I would just type in "Bart Simpson" or "The Simpsons" on Google images, and I'd see these pornographic pictures of Bart putting his penis inside Lisa or Jessica Lovejoy or whatever, and I can remember seeing pornographic fanart of Philip J. Fry putting his dick inside Leela.

These pornographic fanart weren't gifs, just pictures.

Because of me learning about sex through sex education books and seeing that pornographic fanart on the Internet, I thought that during sex, a man puts his dick in a woman's vagina (or a guy's anus) and his cock just stays there and doesn't slide back and forth inside her twat or inside a man's asshole.

I'm sure some of you reading this fanfic can relate to this, can you?  

I didn't watch porn growing up due to my computer having an Internet filter that blocked pornographic websites, and for the most part, I was not interested in pornography.

However, I can remember as a young girl being obsessed with "South Park" and Chef had that song where he tells a story of a male hummingbird entering a female hummingbird's "golden valley", and Chef states the male humminbird goes in and out, in and out.

I was also obsessed with "A Clockwork Orange" as a 5th grader, and one iconic quote from that movie is "the old 'in out in out'", which is a slang term for sex, and I remember that episode of "Family Guy" where Stewie meets his future self as an adult, and Stewie teaches his future self about sex, where Stewie states "and in and out and in and out" repeatedly where Stewie's future self as an adult thrusts his crotch back and forth.

Yet...for some reason, even after I heard that Chef song, that "Clockwork Orange" slang for sex, and Stewie demonstrating to his future adult self how to have sex, I STILL thought sex was something where a man sticks his penis inside a woman's vagina/anus or a guy's anus and while his dick is inside a vagina/anus, it sits in there, doesn't move and better yet doesn't slide back and forth inside.

Since in sex education books, they mostly always say how a man puts a penis in a woman's vagina (and sometimes even anus, even a man's asshole) yet never mention how a penis slides back and forth inside a woman's vulva, in March of 1997, you decided to try something with Shawn Michaels backstage.

What you tried doing with Shawn was in a hotel room on a bed, where you and Shawn were stark naked and Shawn had his long hair hanging down, not tied back in a ponytail.

Shawn had shaved his facial hair he previously had in February of 1997, and thank goodness he did, he looks vastly better without it in your opinion.

You laid on your back on top of the bed with your legs spread wide out, whereas Shawn took his penis and slid it inside your pussy hole.

As his dick was inside your twat, he didn't make his cock slide back and forth inside your vagina.

No, he let his cock stay inside your cunt without him humping you.

While the inside of your twat did tickle and feel so good on the shaft of his erection, at the same time, this was honestly a little boring.

What fun is it to have sex yet let a cock stay in your cunt or asshole but it isn't fucking you back and forth inside?

Maybe you can try another sexual position and it'll feel good, and that's what you suggested to Shawn.

It's probably really no use to do that, it'll probably still feel the same no matter what position.

Although, you can always try to do something.

You tried rolling and rotating the side of your body sideways and over until you were laying on your stomach on the bed, and you tried rolling over all while having a cock inside you.

Now that you basically laying on your stomach, you tried letting it see what it would be like if Shawn had his penis in your vagina, but he didn't slide his erection back and forth inside your twat like usual.

Even though it did feel a little strange when you rolled sideways while having a dick in your cunt, it still really felt the same as when you laid on your back.

"How does it feel now?" you asked. "Still the same?"

"You mean my dick in your pussy?" Shawn asked. "Yeah, still feels the same as before"

"And not the same as when your dick is sliding back and forth in me" you added.

"Yeah" he replied, nodding his head.

Really, even though this is doing something different, it's also a waste of time.

So instead, you rolled your body back sideways until you were laying on your back on the bed again.

You'd rather let Shawn fuck you while you laid on your back instead of your stomach, that way his genitals won't slam close to your anus, even if his dick isn't inside your asshole.

Should you try to do any other sexual position? It'll probably all feel the same, even Shawn is probably not amused over this.

You've actually thought of trying to do some more sexual positions like missionary and reverse cowgirl while Shawn has his penis inside your twat, but it doesn't hump you, but again, it'll probably still all feel the same.

Though, damn, the mental image of you riding Shawn reverse cowgirl with his cock inside you but you don't ride up and down his dick is hot.

"Shawn, do you want to try to do some other positions?" you asked him.

"It's up to you" he suggested, shrugging his shoulders.  "It'll probably all just feel the same"

"What if your hands stroked my body while your dick was inside me?" you asked and offered. "And you didn't hump me?"

"Maybe" he suggested.

"Although, I probably won't get a lot of enjoyment out of you stroking my body while your dick is in me but not back and forth" you brought up.

"I probably might not even cum" Shawn mentioned. "From having my cock in your pussy but it doesn't go back and forth"

"Although, if you don't cum, I won't get pregnant" you brought up.

Shawn nodded his head hearing that.

Even though you'd love to have kids, especially with Shawn, but not really right now considering you're signed to the World Wrestling Federation, which will fire you if you get pregnant.

It's amazing that while you have a cock in your pussy, you're chatting with Shawn like you're having a normal conversation despite that you have a dick inside you, even though that penis isn't sliding back and forth in your vagina.

You tried letting Shawn's hands stroke your skin as his cock was laying inside your twat, where his hands began caressing your waistline up and down, only to swerve behind to your back.

Even though his caresses felt so good as his hands slid all over your skin, from your waistline to your back, it still didn't make up for that his dick wasn't moving inside your snatch.

Although, it did make this experience feel a little bit better.

However, his hands were squeezing between your back and the bed, and it was a little difficult for him to slide his hands under your back considering you were pressing your back on the mattress.

At least you could feel his penis slowly crawling forward into your pussy as it entered inside.

While you would let your hands stroke Shawn's skin, you're laying down and it's difficult to make your hands and arms reach out and try to touch him, especially his back.

"Would you like to play with my tits?" you asked him.

"I'd love to!" he answered with a smile on his face, to which his hands slid from your back and swerved sideways to your ribcage and eventually cupped your breasts.

His hands gave your tits a few squeezes and fondled them, but he still didn't hump you while his cock was inside your twat.

You also told him to pinch and tweak your nipples sometimes as well as rub them, and he listened to you, his fingers grabbing your nipples and pinching them, sometimes turning them, as well as rubbing them back and forth.

Your areolas are tingling while he pinches your nipples and fondles your breasts, and your pussy is getting more moist and damp.

He's driving you crazy, so crazy you might even moan.

A good thing about Shawn having his cock in your pussy but he isn't slamming and pounding it with his dick is that at least it isn't making you orgasmically moan, because then people next door might hear.

No matter if Shawn is tempted into ramming and shoving his dick back and forth in your vagina, or if he forgets, for now he must keep his cock inside your pussy but not let it slide back and forth inside it.

You're actually thinking of letting other male wrestlers stick their penises in your vagina or ass but not let them pound your private parts with them.

Though, would they be up for it?

Would it work?

It's probably better if you just let them pound your twat and asshole with their dicks.

[cielsosinfel]

I'm reading in fits and starts because my health nose-dived last month... and really ruined my attention span and energy levels in general... also I've been struggling to find books that hold my attention.

I'm still reading "Kill the Dead" by Tanith Lee which I LOVE, and should have finished by now since it's less than 200 pages, but alas... but I'm enjoying it immensely. It is the exact kind of grim fantasy with lush prose, well-defined character voices, bits of sardonic humor, and interesting (but not overwhelming) worldbuilding to keep me invested. There's also ample homoerotic subtext between the lead male protagonists and I'm obsessed with the idea of them. (Unfortunately there's no fic on Ao3- if fic ever existed, it was probably via email lists, Yahoo groups and personal websites on now defunct 90s/early 2000s web hosts. if not in mail-order fanzines. LMAO.)

Wait, I'll copy some bluesky posts I made (EXTREMELY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT):

1/21/24 Reading more of Kill The Dead. I do enjoy how Lee writes Dro's physical disability, and how he reacts to other people reacting to it

It's not like his disability never affects him, there are scenes where he's contending from the chronic pain worsening after exertion. But it just reads very /naturally/ to me as someone who also struggles with chronic pain that affects my ability to move around… And he's so pass agg its great

I really do appreciate how Lee write's Parl Dro living with his disability throughout the entire story: it's an ever-present part of his day-to-day, something he's used and knows how to live around, still gets frustrated by, the need to rest because he can't help pushing his leg past what it can really handle. The way he reacts to other people either pitying him, or trying to take advantage of him (the priest trying to sell him a horse for far too much money.) It reads very honest and relatable, compared to a lot of other books with disabled protagonists I've tried.

1/31/24 Obnoxious persistent Uncommonly Beautiful bard with major daddy issues who projects fraternal-paternal vibes onto the protag and also tries to kill him (ineffectually) confirmed BI (in a 70s/80s sff novel way) Honestly I want to write fic… There's very little Tanith Lee fic and 0 for this novel

2/5/24 God I ship the two dudes in this Tanith Lee book so bad and I KNOW. I KNOW THE VIBES ARE INTENDED. GODDDD and yet it still manages to be so straight. I really need to find the lesbian erotica she wrote under pseudonym, I have never read a single one. The younger beautiful bard who has nightmares of being beaten by his father and projects all sorts of things on the MC got caught trying to fuck a ghost trying to kill him and threw up and now has been taken captive by a bunch of men set on killing him for necrophilia…. Be still my heart Also he follows the MC around like an angry but desperate puppy, he describes him as an older brother and then tries to kill him ineffectually and proclaims he hates him but is terrified of wandering at night without him and has to constantly resist apologizing to him for Existing… Anyway. (also the bard is the one who is canon bi. The author made sure to mention that. Thank you ) How can I not ship them……

I wasn't super into Myal at the beginning of the book but he has grown on me SO MUCH. Just like he's grown on poor Parl Dro, who is so standoffish and stoic and yet feels responsible for Myal and worries over him, in his own way. And Myal can't really see past his own self-hate and self-pity and self-absorption to really see that.

He is just SO weird with Parl Dro: he hates him, he's attracted to him, he's desperate for his company and the feeling of safety even as much as he's scared of him and wanted to kill him, even as much as he's convinced Dro hates him and judges him, he keeps projecting his daddy issues on Dro while also viewing him as fucked up distant brother figure... dfjgkdfhl

Also the glorious amount of good old-fashioned whump that happens to him.

At the part I've read up to, Myal has ended up kidnapped/ghostnapped by Ciddey, the once-haunted woman whose ghost-sister was killed by Parl Dro, so she commits suicide despite Myal's efforts to save her... and then haunts him from thereon, in order to use him to get revenge on Parl Dro. But basically at the part I'm at, he gets seduced by her- even while knowing she as a ghost feeds off the life-force of the living, and he's giving his own life-force with every moment he's near her, touching her. He is just SO EASY, and Ciddey knows it, and Myal knows it, and he hates himself for it.

But OK. OK, the kidnap scene is just... so horny. Please.

I just love him... he's such a mess... And he suffers so much... And he needs to be rescued by a tall, dark brooding not-quite-hero so often...

Also I loooove this exchange Parl Dro has with Sable, the healer-woman hermit, while they're taking care of Myal's almost-dead body:

[Sable] "That's why you're here, eh? And him--somehow he knew the right time, too. So he's cleverer than you think." [Parl Dro] "Or than he thinks."

The fact Parl Dro reads Myal so easily and does have this respect for him, not just for his musical skill but his like... bull-headed tenacity, his will to survive despite everything thrown in his way. And Myal can't see that!! He's so wrapped up in himself and his own sense of eternal inadequacy and disappointing everyone around him. kdgksfhfh

Also here are some pieces of prose that really stood out to me while reading:

The sunlight, creeping like a cat, had almost reached Myal, when Dro spoke to her.

Dro sat, the branches loose in his hand, listening. Fine as silk threads drawn through the dark, the notes sewed over and about each other. The melody was oblique, tragic, stabbing somewhere inside the heart with a sweet piercing pain, removed yet immediate. Like that of any excellent minstrel, Myal Lemyal's music could find out emotions that did not belong in the humors the mind of the listener, and plant them there and let them grow while the song sang itself. But Myal was much better than excellent. Myal, playing the bizarre instrument his father had killed to get, was one of the lost golden gods from the morning of the earth.

Then a cold sighing came over the ravine, and stars scattered along Parl Dro's spine.

The fire was low. A crimson branch had broken open, whistling as the sap bled from it. The fortress wall hid the lights of the village from Parl Dro the man. Only the mild passage of the river at its summer low was audible, and sometimes a treacly chorus of frogs.

There was a thin noise of water, not in the ravine, but to one side, along the edge. A spring flickered from the rock and over, uselessly, into the gully.

Dakrness swirled from the thickets, the trees, from pockets in the ground. The sky, a smooth sheet of dark lavender,put out a thousand stars.

As the flame fluttered around the shoe, destroyed it, and expired on the flags, Dro stared at what was left of Ciddey Soban, plastered, insectilre and beautiful, on the wall. She never moved. With vast extinguished eyes, she gazed at him. And then she melted like frost. And then she was gone.

[z-h-i-e]

Hi,

7, 12, 35 for the weird writer questions

What is your deepest joy about writing?

Sharing it with other people. The connection made with others. Giving others things to think about. 2am discussions about why Thranduil and Finrod are perfect for each other. Or whatever the current obsession happens to be. I don't partake in a lot of 'usual adult behavior'. I don't have kids, so I certainly am not hanging out at PTA meetings, troop events, etc etc. My grandfather was an alcoholic (not a mean one--it was all post-war trauma and he was drinking to forget the horrors), but because of that I don't go hanging out at bars. I don't like places with too many people (unless I'm like, up on a stage presenting - I know, that's weird, it's just how I am) so places like movie theatres, bowling alleys, concerts, sporting events, etc etc are mostly out, they usually lead to migraines -- I have to really work to set myself up to go to anything like that, and covid might have made that worse for me. So my gatherings are pretty restricted to either writing or arts/crafts things or family events. But online -- I can participate online, and in writing things, so it's where I have the majority of my human interactions. Also, this has nothing to do with the question, but I bought a box of tiny donuts for myself the other day and they are far far exceeding expectations. Moving on…

If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

1 - That all of the WIPs that all of my friends wish were already done are magically finished for them to post.

2 - That all of the poetry my mother has written over the years gets the credit that is due to it.

3 - To have lunch with Peter David and ask all of the writing advice questions I can think of. I'm sure by now it's obvious I'm not asking the genie to do any of my writing for me, and I have a pretty good readership, and I've been blessed with more ideas than I have time for, but I have missed any opportunity to meet any of the other authors I have somewhat imitated in the respect of 'I love the way this person writes, I'm going to study what they wrote and incorporate those nuggets of style and voice and ideas with what I develop into my own thing'. (That list includes Fred Mustard Stewart, Madeline L'Engle, Maya Angelou, Michael Crichton, and of course I can't not mention Tolkien since the characters and setting are his)

What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

I'm not sure if it's a rule, but I came from a fandom where we did 'riffing'. Riffing is when you write about not just the characters, but also the authors, all together in one place, and it's typically ridiculous and humorous. I found out here that people kind of freak the fuck out when you riff them without asking first (which, it kind of defeats the purpose, but, oh well--when you previous fandom was like, three dozen cats and a shark, riffing just works a lot better). So for a bit I would do things and ask for volunteers, or just write riffs with just me in them, but that all kind of slid off when Yahoo!Groups went away. I should do more of that again--it's fun and silly and I miss those days.

Thank you for the questions, friend!

[recklesssherbet]

As a Colombian is just so annoying to see just how obsessed with football (or soccer or however the hell you call it) this entire country is. We're not even good at it. It's actually painful to watch.

Meanwhile Colombian athletes are excelling in other sports. We're the first at roller skating, also great at cycling. Also at tennis! i didn't even know there's a tournament in Italy right now and they're doing great, they actually just won over the US.

And all because all the sports news can cover is fucking soccer. I had to found out through Yahoo.

I really hadn't a point, I'm just ranting cause I'm so done with how this country only likes those glorified over grown babies that can't score to save their own lives. Or at the very least so that people would have a good reason to talk about them.